Crossing Rubicon's
by Saphri
Summary: Rin has finally returned from her mission in a far away land. Having met up with Kakashi she realised that he still had a gravitational hold on her and resisting urges that stemmed from childhood is harder than she thought. KakaXRin.
1. Prologue

_**Crossing Rubicon's.**_

I do not own Naruto. If I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. ^_^

Rated M for later chapters. Please use discretion.

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Prologue.

The fresh aroma of cut grass and foliage floating in the air was intoxicating. She sauntered through the bustling streets, allowing her nose to taste the sweet fragrances that sent shocks of nostalgia souring through her being. She closed her eyes in desperate need to enjoy the moment to its full potential as the breeze played gracefully in her long auburn hair.

It had been ten years since she had breathed Konoha's enchanting breeze, ten long years since she felt the glossy cobbled streets beneath her feet. After all this time, she was free, she was finally home. The sense of feeling whole again was indescribable as was the sensation of walking on air. It all felt like a wonderful dream and it took a great deal of willpower to suppress the urge to pinch herself in an attempt to establish this reality's authenticity.

Wistfully unaware of the throngs of people shuffling and pushing past her, Rin opened her eyes to examine the surrounding shops and eateries that littered the familiar streets. Not a lot had changed. New chains of random stores had appeared during her absence (that was to be expected) but the buildings still held their rustic beauty that she had once loved as a young girl growing up.

She was finally home.

It felt so good yet so unreal to finally find herself within the walls of her home town. Lost within her own pulsing admiration of the village, she absently crumpled the small slip of paper in her hands which jolted her from her daydream with a start.

Her first port of call had been to the Hokage. A very fruitful visit that had been too, not only to clarify the success of her mission but also to obtain the information that was scribbled onto the tiny, yet precious scrap of fine bamboo.

The Hokage; a young man that went by the name of Uzumaki Naruto, had found her request quite unusual. Rin had explained her reasoning's and he had been somewhat over excited at the prospect of handing it over to her once he had jotted down what she wished to know. Though the blonde, whiskered man seemed of good heart and of nature, it seemed to Rin that he was overcompensating for something with his over indulgent kindness. He was a nice kid never the less, but the Hokage wasn't what she had expected. Back in Lightening Country she had heard that the new Hokage was a man of great knowledge and power. Needless to say that she had secretly hoped that he was somebody else, somebody she knew.

Opening her hands, Rin glanced down at the valuable note , eyeing over each and every word as though it was some sacred scripture, before stuffing the small sheet into her shirt pocket. The address that young Uzumaki had given her was pointing towards the southern district of Konoha. The housing districts. By Naruto's brief description Kakashi was living in one of the bachelor apartments that were nestled into the outskirts of the entertainment district of the village. Rin found it rather unusual yet unnervingly relieving that she had been given a sizable hint that Hatake Kakashi was living alone. She couldn't imagine how awkward it would be to simply turn up on his doorstep unannounced if he had a family. Nor how disappointed she would be to find that he had moved on.

Pushing her selfish thoughts aside, Rin tossed her hair feverishly over her shoulder with a swift flick of her head and marched onwards. The thought that she should find herself accommodation had crossed her mind briefly, but seeing her oldest and dearest friend again was first and foremost. She couldn't quite understand why she was plucking up so much courage to knock on the door of a man whom had once been her closest friend. Whom she hoped still was. This thought tampered with the knots in her stomach as she approached the dilapidated building said to house one of the most powerful and respected ninja's the whole of the Fire Country had ever known. Rin couldn't help but feel the disdain rise into her gut as she studied the building that could barely support itself. The light green paint on the exterior walls was flaking and in desperate need of a repaint. The windows on the ground floor also looked to be rotting at the frames from within, the glossed wood becoming damp and black. How could he live in a place like this? Surely he had enough money to his name in order to rent, or even purchase a nice apartment rather than live in this squalor.

Rin pursed her lips distastefully, pulling out the slip and studying the words carefully, hoping that she had made a simple mistake.

"Yup… this is it… Oh, Kakashi." Rin sighed in mild disappointment. Eyeing over the dilapidated mess of construction once more she apprehensively began to step towards the block of apartments with the screaming hope that Kakashi was actually home.

The Hokage had confirmed that he was stationed within the village and was on leave after returning from a short mission not so long ago.

Having already tried the memorial site, the one place she thought sure to find him, this was the only other place she could think that he could be. Having not seen or heard anything of her dear friend and one time crush for such a long time she had no idea where his usual choices of habitat were. His habits and preferences could well have changed since he was an adolescent, struggling with a breaking voice and the sudden growth spurts. But looking at the abysmal state of his chosen abode, she highly doubted it.

According to the note given to her by the Hokage, Kakashi resided on the third floor of the complex and there was a surprisingly high number of stairs leading up the side of the building. By the time Rin had plodded her way up to the third floor, the calves of both legs were achy and a little wobbly. Using the wall opposite, which had as much decaying paint on it as the exterior wall, to steady herself she cursed herself for being so out of shape. Too much time dissecting corpses in the hospital, she thought dismally.

It was then that she came to the decision that she would undertake a drastic change in her current lifestyle. Rin was still a kunoichi in every aspect, but her missions would very rarely be of the physical kind. Since being stationed in a very remote land on the outskirts of Lightening Country her healing and medicinal skills were needed much more than her strength and agility. Hence her physical fitness had unfortunately slipped a little further than she had wanted it too despite her slim and trim figure.

Straightening herself whilst smoothing down her knee length purple cotton skirt, Rin again resumed on her endless journey to Kakashi's apartment door. Tight knots of discomfort and anxiety twisted in her stomach at the thought of seeing him again. A mixture of doubt and anticipation took a strong hold over her mind as well as the intense urge to flee and never look back. It would be so much easier to simply _bump_ into him in the street rather than approach him on his own turf. The idea was a sugary sweet one, but Rin knew that this way was probably the best way. She couldn't have him find out that she was back after all this time just through word of mouth, Kakashi would want to know why she hadn't tried to contact him on her return. She couldn't even contemplate the idea of hurting him and she knew for a fact that her ignorance would not be the best course of action.

Taking another downward glance at the note in her hand, Rin confirmed the door number she was looking for; two thirty seven.

Shifting her gaze around the vast amount of sickly green doors huddled along the long, everlasting corridor she saw it. Smack in the centre of the hall it stood out like a glowing beacon in the dead of night; two thirty seven. The knot in her stomach twisted a little more but to a point that felt somewhat pleasurable as she trotted over to the door that hopefully housed her beloved Kakashi within its depths.

For what seemed like hours, Rin gazed up at the metallic, slightly rusted numbers that were bolted to the flaky wood in awe, before she realised the real reason why she had come here. To see him, to tell him she was back and for good. Bowing her head, Rin went over the spiel she had memorised in her head, the one she planned to use when (or if) Kakashi opened his door. Firstly she would apologise for leaving so hastily and without warning. Kakashi was sure to be a little upset by that, even with his superior knowledge that most missions were confined to secrecy.

Ever since Obito's death, Kakashi and Rin had become closer than they had ever been. They had been the best of friends, doing everything together, up until the point when Kakashi had joined the Anbu. It was during this time when she had been assigned her research mission in a far away land, having to leave it all behind.

Looking back up at the door she recalled the sleepless nights, tossing and turning in her strange bed concealed in the shadows of a foreign room in a country she didn't know… missing him. Missing his soothing voice, his off the cuff remarks. Missing the way he used to mess up her hair whenever they met up together. They had no one else, both their parents were long dead. All they had was each other.

Rin shook her shoulders, standing bolt upright and glared at the metaphoric force field with a mean earnest and rapped on the door. Each knock of her knuckles on the beaten wooden panel echoed down the hall giving the building a sudden eerie air that she didn't much care for, but managed to ignore as her anticipation began to grow in the base of her gut. She waited for a few seconds before raising her hand and knocking again, harder this time in a desperate attempt to be heard. She stood rigid again, glowering at the door as her mind made the dismal confirmation that she had been dreading.

_Nobody's home…_

Blowing out a sigh of frustration and disappointment, Rin slumped her shoulders taking a step away from the door and staring up at the tarnished digits once more. She couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Kakashi wasn't home despite knowing that it wasn't his fault. He wasn't to know, she guessed. Bowing her head and cramming the tiny scrap of paper back into her pocket she turned away from the apartment entrance and walked slowly back down the hall.

Rin felt more than just a little stupid. All that courage she had summoned from nowhere had all been for nothing. Rin had no idea where to go next, but she figured that her next port of call would be to find a place to stay. Possibly a hotel for a few nights until she was able to get something more permanent. As she began to lose herself in her own thoughts, she heard a door click open from behind her.

"Excuse me… did you want something?"

The voice made Rin's stomach lurch as she was dragged from her daydream and stopped in her tracks. That voice was so familiar to her ears yet completely foreign at the same time. Either way, she recognised it immediately.

She turned around carefully and settled her eyes on the holder of that smooth, recognisable voice and felt her heart stop, be it only for a split second.

He stood there, as bold and confident as the day they had first met when they had been just four years of age. He was taller than when she had last seen him, broader too, yet still lean and sleek. This man was built for speed.

Dressed in a black tank and matching pants, complete with hitai-ate and mask, his hair still the unruly mass of silver, he looked like everything that she had ever imagined since the day she had left. Aside from the obvious, he hadn't changed a bit.

"Kakashi…?" She whimpered, the planned spiel she had religiously memorised, lost forever as her mind went completely blank just by the sight of him. She saw his expression change from innocent curiosity to a darker shade of confusion as he scanned her over with his one, dark eye. Turning his head slightly to one side, as if to gain a better view, Kakashi folded his arms across his chest and cocked his leg, making him lean slightly towards the door.

"Do I know you?" He drawled. The sound of his voice, though older and deeper than she remembered, still sent electric tremors shooting up her spine. The nostalgia of his presence causing her to feel a little light headed with anxiety and excitement.

She stepped towards him, clawing at her composure, her eyes locked with his lone onyx stare and nodded her head as she raised her arm and placed her hand on her chest. She could feel her heart pounding at the wall of her ribs, feeling it pulse in her head. She twisted the fabric of her shirt into her fingers at the thought that he had forgotten her.

"Yes, you know me. Please say you remember me, Kakashi."

Kakashi furrowed his brow, flitting his eye over her form once more before the surprise took over the only visible portion of his face. He stepped back, lowering his arms and Rin saw the flash of recognition in his glassy eye. Kakashi shook his head in a small sporadic movement, but Rin had all the confirmation she needed. He remembered.

"No… No, it… It can't be…" He stammered, seeming to struggle with his words. Rin smiled as she began to feel the sting of tears in her eyes.

"Yes… Kakashi… it's me."

"Rin?" He murmured, cocking his head to one side in a questioning manner. Rin had lost the power to speak and simply grinned sheepishly and nodded as she walked towards him, stopping mere centimetres from his feet. Kakashi looked down at her, his eye wide and glistening in the artificial light of the hallway.

After a few seconds of regarding each other, Rin couldn't hold back anymore. Throwing out her hands she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. She heard him gasp and felt the muscles in his shoulders stiffen to counter balance his own weight.

She could feel him shivering, possibly from surprise but it didn't take long for him to begin to relax and nervously place his hands over her shoulders.

"I've missed you so much." Rin mumbled into the cloth that covered his neck. She was crying, she could feel her tears soaking into the fabric of Kakashi's tank but she was far from sad. She was finally home and in the arms of the one person that mattered to her.

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A.N: This is the first Kakashi X Rin fic that I've written. I've totally fell in love with pairing although it has been a very gradual process and I couldn't resist writing something about them both. Hope you enjoyed the first part. I'll bang out the the first chapter before christmas. Lova ya's

Saph xx


	2. Instant Attraction

well, here we go. First chapter, before crimbo, as promised. Hope you all enjoy this instalment as much as I enjoyed writing it. Have fun, and Merry Christmas!!

Saph xx

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_**_**Crossing Rubicon's**_

**_Warnings:_ **Heavy references to sex and strong sexual acts are contained in this chapter. If you find such things uncomfortable or offensive please stop reading here. This fic is not for you ^_^.

I do not own Naruto. Although sometimes I wish I did!

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_Chapter 1: Instant Attraction._

o0o

"Here, take these." Kakashi muttered absently, handing Rin a small cardboard box filled to the brim with tissues. Rin looked up from the lumpy sofa chancing a quick habitual glimpse at him before reaching for the small container.

"Thanks." She sniffled, taking the tissues from him, planting the floral print box on her lap and wrenching two handfuls of the soft white sheets from the carton. Dabbing at her tear soaked eyes, Rin puffed out a short sigh in an attempt to calm herself down. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry. She didn't want Kakashi to think that she was still the same tearful wreck that she used to be. She wanted him to see how strong she had become, how much she had grown and evolved. Fat chance of that now; she must look pathetic. She hadn't been able to help herself. The whole day had been a huge shock to her system, it was all so overwhelming. The tears were bound to appear at some stage during the day.

The sofa's dilapidated springs creaked as Kakashi lowered himself into the cushions next to her with a quiet sigh.

"You need a new sofa." She croaked, screwing the tissues into her hand and turning her head to face him. Resting his elbows on his parted knees he stared ahead of himself and smiled. Kakashi had lowered his mask; the fabric now pooled around his neck. He hadn't changed a bit. He still held on to those boyish good looks that she remembered. His smile, though slightly crooked, still made her feel warm inside and was still as infectious as ever. She smiled back, with a nervous chuckle causing him to face her.

"I've been meaning to get a new one. But you know how it is." He replied softly with a small shrug of his shoulders. Rin hummed a chuckle at him with a shake of her head as she cursed herself for being able to think of nothing but small talk.

She hadn't seen this man for ten years, she had so much that she wanted to tell him, to ask him and yet she found that she had absolutely nothing to say to him. Teasing the damp tissue in her fingers, Rin stared down at it with a desirable interest, desperately trying to think of something to say and hoping the folds in the soft layers would yield some answers.

A strange silence settled into the room as Kakashi seemed to be doing the exact same thing. His attention was squared directly at the wall opposite.

It was uncomfortable and unbearably foreign. They never had this trouble before she went away. Just goes to show how much distance can come between people when parted for so long.

"Rin?" Kakashi's voice sliced through the thick atmosphere making Rin jump a little in her seat. She shot her head round and stared at him vacantly to see a sorrowing glint in his onyx eye. The expression pulled at old emotions and distant memories, memories she had once wanted to forget.

Forcing herself to swallow them, she felt an odd flutter in her gut as their eyes connected. The sensation wasn't new to her, but it was one that she had all but forgotten, yet still it troubled her to find that she was uncertain as to what the feeling meant.

"Where have you been? You've been gone for so long." The tone of his voice all but tore her in two. The misery she was able to detect in his voice mimicked the expression on his face. He looked crushed, heartbroken, even. She hesitated for a moment taking in his distressed appearance, trying to come to terms that she was the one that had caused him to feel this way. Guilt rapped at her brain with an intensity she was finding difficult to overcome. Rin opened her mouth to speak but her voice had retreated to the back of her throat. Swallowing hard, Rin composed herself, twisting her right shoulder around in it's socket to focus her mind a little. Her explanation was innocent enough and one that could not be helped. But still she felt the blame was resting purely on her shoulders. Kakashi's sorrow was her fault…

"I've been on an extended mission, that's all. Didn't you know?" She answered eventually, her voice small and uneven. Somehow hoping that this simple and bland explanation would be the answer to all the questions he wished to ask.

Kakashi frowned at her and shook his head slowly. "No." He replied flatly. This struck Rin as odd. She would have thought that the Hokage would have said something. The mission itself was classified, as were all S ranked missions. But the fact that she had been sent away was no secret as far as she was concerned. Just the details and the location. The fact that Kakashi hadn't been informed at all was unusual.

"Well, that's all. There was a pandemic on a small island near Lightening. I was sent to do some research. Took a little longer than expected but…"

"Rin, I thought you were dead."

That thick silence dropped into the room again as Rin lost the ability to breathe. She felt her lower lip tremble at the thought that Kakashi had spent all this time believing that she was never coming back. Her gut churned at his revelation that he truly thought that she was no longer living. The news rocked her to the core, how could he assume this without fact? Had he just given up on her?

"Wha… what? Dead?" She whimpered. Rin closed her eyes and bowed her head. Her mind was swimming with guilt and her eyes had grown hot. She raised a hand to her mouth to stifle the sob that was threatening to come out at the base of her throat.

"Oh my God… I... I never meant to… I sent messages. I sent messages to say I would be staying longer… Dead?" She stammered, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to make it better. She glanced at Kakashi, who's expression had changed from grief to pity. Leaning towards her a little, he placed a hand on her lap. The contact on her skin made her flinch causing her to turn his way and scan his face for answers. Kakashi smiled slightly, one corner of his mouth hitching upwards making the edge of his visible eye crease a little at the corner.

"Sometimes the messages don't make it. It's not your fault."

"I know but…"

"No buts, Rin. You're safe, right?" Rin nodded nervously, urging him to continue. The tears that were pooling in her eyes were beginning to subside. A huge relief to say the very least.

"Right. And you're here now. That's all that matters at the moment." He soothed, gently rubbing at her leg in a comforting gesture. Rin shifted her eyes to the floor and nodded again. Kakashi had a point, but that didn't stop it hurting. To be told by her best friend that he thought she was dead was traumatic. She had never even imagined that she would be greeted with information like that. The worst case scenario for her was that he would be angry with her for being gone for so long, but he was anything but angry. She felt that his mood didn't make the situation any better despite knowing that his lenience was meant to be comforting. Her chest felt tight and her stomach twisted violently making her feel sick. Kakashi's revelation wasn't what she had wanted to hear but at least he had been honest with her. Rin just hoped that the damage caused by his assumptions was repairable. There was simply no telling how long that could take, if at all.

"I just don't understand why the Hokage didn't tell you…"

"There was an incident a few years back, just before you left, where information was leaked from one shinobi to another without consent. It caused a lot of problems. The law on passive information was changed and it's now illegal for the Hokage to disclose information about assignments to anyone who isn't involved. That's the only reason." Kakashi drawled with a shrug. This was all well and good, but still…

They sat in yet another thick cloud of silence as Rin tried to take Kakashi's sentiments to heart. She was relieved that he wasn't angered by her departure, but for him to think that she had died away from home was very painful. The simple fact that he had all but confirmed he had given up hope was truly hurtful, not that she blamed him in the slightest. He didn't now any better. With no evidence to prove either theory as fact what was he supposed to think?

The only way Rin knew anything of Kakashi was through rumours and threads of grapevine. Often abstract and warped as messages were passed down through word of mouth, stories of the almost fabled Copy Ninja were rife. He was a legend, though from her decade spent in a backwater country on the tip of an enemy land any news of Hatake Kakashi was rarely a good thing.

"I searched for you." Kakashi murmured, wrenching Rin from her own thoughts. She regarded his saddened form, his shoulders slumped, his features distressed and hurting. He was breaking her heart just to see him like this.

"I searched for months on end and I found nothing. I was told to give up countless times. I used to wait at the enterance gates whenever I could, hoping you would just… show up." Kakashi rubbed his free hand on his knee awkwardly and looked away. He seemed embarrassed by his statement but Rin was touched that he didn't give up on her so easily. That he had took it on his own back to seek her out. She knew that she would have done the same had the shoe been on the other foot.

Looking down at his hand on her lap, Rin wrapped her fingers into his before glancing up and smiling warmly. A tear strayed from her eye and cascaded down her cheek. She had no words for him but Kakashi smiled back regardless. After a few seconds he released her hand and leaning forward, wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders. Rin leaned into his warmth and mimicked his movements, closing her eyes as she rested her cheek into the crook of his neck.

"I'm glad you're back, Rin. Welcome home." He murmured as he tightened his hold around her briefly. Rin never wanted this moment to end, she snuggled closer to him, feeling her eyes grow hot again, pulling her arms around him tighter, never wanting to let go. It felt so nice to finally hold Kakashi's company again. It felt good that he still held her in high regards. Coming here was the best decision she had made all day. It felt good to be home.

"Thank you. It's good to be back. It's good to finally see you again."

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Moments passed like hours as they held on to each other for dear life before Kakashi pulled away. Rin stifled a groan of disappointment as she smoothed her hands over his shoulders and leaned back into the arm of the sofa. She had matters that needed attending urgently anyway, like finding herself somewhere to stay.

"I guess I should be going. Will you be around tomorrow?" She asked, observing the strange frown he flashed her.

"Why, where do you need to go?" Kakashi replied, his tone carried a tremor of discontentment that she found a little satisfying. Kakashi didn't want her to leave, and if she was honest with herself, she didn't want to leave either. There was so much catching up to do, so much time that they had lost. Rin sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I haven't found a place to stay yet. All my stuff is still at the Hokage's…"

"Well, Naruto won't mind if you left your things there for today, and you could always stay here." He deadpanned. The offer of hospitality didn't come as a surprise, but rather his indifference to the situation. Typical Kakashi.

She was no longer the girl that he had once known, she was a woman now, she had changed physically in more ways than her height. She had grown her hair from the boring short bob she once had as a teen. Her hair draped over her shoulders in flared wisps and was thick and glossy. Rin liked her luxurious hair, it was one of her only vanities. Her figure, no longer boyish and thin, had blossomed into the curvy structure that came with the end of puberty as well as her breasts. All through her adolescence, Rin had never been blessed with what she would call _exceptional assets_, not like other girls her age. It wasn't until she was reaching her early twenties that she had started to develop, her chest was another thing that she was rather proud of.

She finally filled out her clothes and was able to buy nice things to wear, tops and shirts that made her feel good. Not that she would have been all that bothered if she had remained as flat as a pancake. Appearance was an after thought, her training and her career in pathology was far more important though she had let the former slip out of her grasp if only a little. Never the less, she liked to feel good, she liked feeling attractive. But it seemed that Kakashi hadn't noticed. No surprises there then. He never noticed anything.

Rin mulled his offer over in her mind whilst taking short, sharp glances around the small simplistic room. She had spent the first few months of her mission feeling miserable in a foreign country, longing to go home. It had took quite some time to get used to her new surroundings and had finally come to terms with the fact that the small spit of land would be her home for the foreseeable future.

Although she wasn't feeling those same harrowing emotions as she had done way back then, she still didn't like the idea of having to spend god knows how long in yet another abode that she wasn't familiar with. Perhaps staying here with an old face that she knew would do her some good, just until she became accustomed with the village again. But never the less, she still felt like his offer was one of common courtesy rather than one of kindness. And the apartment was ridiculously small, there was no way she could live here without getting under his feet, or Kakashi getting under hers. Living out of someone else's pockets wasn't exactly her idea of fun.

"I couldn't do that…" Rin responded, playing awkwardly with the tips of her long hair.

"Why not?" Kakashi cocked his head slightly to one side like a confused puppy. The expression was sickly sweet and wretchedly adorable but surely Kakashi realised that his humble home couldn't possibly house two people.

"Your place isn't… well… catered for more than one person is it, really?" Rin deadpanned as she took a more obvious look around the small room they were currently occupying. The living room wasn't bad, hell, it was better looking than the complex as a whole. There wasn't a lot of furniture, only the dark blue sofa and a simple small wooden table in the centre of the room. It was brightly lit by the overhead light that was covered in a centuries worth of dust and grime. She would have to get a damp cloth on that at some point, she thought absently. It was a simple, modest room for a simple man that led a simple life. So not Kakashi. The very thought amused Rin greatly. She may not have seen Kakashi for a whole decade, but she knew him well enough to know that he was anything but simple. She dropped her eyes back to Kakashi who was still observing her sceptically.

"Besides…" She sighed "I don't think your landlord would approve. This is a bachelor pad after all. And I don't want to intrude." She continued with a coy smile. Kakashi merely stared back vacantly as he shook his head.

"Who said anything about informing the landlord? What he doesn't know won't hurt him. And it's not an intrusion if it's offered to you." He replied nonchalantly with yet another shrug of his broad shoulders. Rin hummed a chuckle at him and shook her head. He really was something else, Kakashi had _always_ been something else. He didn't care what others thought of him or his actions, well… not anymore at least.

"You haven't changed a bit. You know that? Anyway, Mr. I-Can-Do-What-I-Want, where would I sleep? By the looks of things you only have one bed. Hoping you'll get lucky?" She quipped, folding her arms across her bosom and flashing him a sly smirk. She watched his eye widen a little before his mouth pulled into that wonderful crooked smile that made her curl up on the inside.

"Well, I won't deny that the thought had crossed my mind." He replied darkly.

"Still a pervert, I see."

"You walked right into that, Rin."

"I've been back all of two minutes! Give me a break!"

"You know I was joking."

"With you, anything is possible." Kakashi snorted at her remark which in turn made her giggle despite her determination to keep a straight face. It felt good to mess around like this. Just like the old days. Kakashi let out a soft chuckle as he rose from his seat, causing the battered sofa to bounce and creak with the sudden lack of tension . He began walking towards one of the two darkened door ways behind the sorry excuse for a couch.

"Seriously, you can have the bed. I'll get the futon out and sleep out here. I don't mind." Kakashi stated with a slight chuckle in his voice. He sauntered into the dark hole in the wall to the far left and flicking on a light to reveal the even smaller kitchen area.

It was at this point that Rin realised that Kakashi's humble abode had no windows that she could see. The idea of not being able to see day light was quite depressing, but never the less, Rin had begun to warm to the idea of staying. It would give them some time to get acquainted with each other again, now that the process was already in full swing. It would be a crying shame to put an abrupt stop to it. Kakashi halted in the kitchenette doorway and turned to face her, crossing his legs and leaning lazily against the frame.

"Drink?" Kakashi questioned in his trademark nonchalant tone. Rin couldn't help the smile that was forcing its way into her lips, feeling it tugging at each corner of her mouth. He really was infectious, that was one thing about Hatake Kakashi that Rin had never forgotten. He always made her smile, even if the effort was unintentional. She nodded her head at him briskly.

"I'll have a coffee, if you don't mind." Rin answered meekly, tugging at thin strands of her hair again. Nervous habits were hard to break and yet despite how conscious Rin was over her hair pulling she was unable to help herself when the occasion called for it. She just hoped that Kakashi was just as ignorant to it as he seemed to be about her over all appearance. Kakashi nodded thoughtfully, scratching at the base of his chin. Rin sighed quietly in relief. Seemed that he had never lost his own quirks of habit either.

"Sure, how do you take it?"

"I like my coffee how I like my men."

"Oh? Sweet and weak it is then."

"You should know me better than that, Kakashi. Strong and bland is my flavour."

"Ah, strong and bland? Sounds a lot like me, don't you think?" Rin snorted in response to Kakashi's delusional concept of himself as she got to her feet and sauntered over to the kitchenette just as Kakashi entered the brightly lit room.

Scanning the area quickly before entering she saw that the kitchen area wasn't as bad as she first thought. Kakashi, given his gender, was surprisingly tidy. He was lazy, obnoxious at times, even rude to the point where he didn't care what others saw in him. (Her perception of him since walking through his apartment door had more than sealed her assumptions that he was still the same person as the one she had left behind.) But he was a stickler for cleanliness.

Everything in the home had its place. She liked that about him, Kakashi wasn't a slob like a lot of men she knew. This little factor meant that the kitchen was clean and tidy in every sense of the term. The room was pale yellow in colour, giving it a warm ambiance that was quite pleasant on the eyes, with matching work surfaces and cupboards bordering the tiny room. Even knowing that Kakashi was quite strict on his rules of housekeeping, she doubted very much that he had decorated the apartment. He was what one would call _"pretty laid back" _when it came to such things as décor.

"What do you think, Rin?" Kakashi called, turning to face her and resting his sleepy eye upon her form as he reached for a white electric kettle that was seated against the wall in front of him. Rin gazed at him stupidly and shook her head slowly. Taking in such trivial details, such as the colour of the kitchen walls had caused her to forget what it was they were currently discussing.

"What do I think about what?"

"I said, strong and bland sounds a lot like me. Don't you agree?" Kakashi's voice held a tremor of humour and she noticed the slight grin on his lips widen dramatically as he turned away and flicked the switch on the kettle. Rin thought about his question briefly before erupting into a loud burst of laughter. Her stomach knotted a little in the process as her guffaws turned into girlish giggles. What a stupid thing to say.

Was Kakashi suggesting that he was _her type?_

Indeed, he had once been the object of her affections and as her hormones had begun to take a hold over her way of thinking he had once been the primary subject in more than one of her sexual fantasies. Kakashi had known about her obsession with him, and his indifference towards the situation had confirmed his lack of interest in perusing it. Hence she had never tried to press the matter upon him.

She loved him, even now, like one would love a sibling. She always had, but her crush on the formidable Copy Ninja had petered out a long time ago. Having to come to terms with the fact that Kakashi didn't place her upon the same pedestal that she had positioned him all those years ago was a hurdle she had forced herself to jump. Kakashi was her friend, nothing more. Or so she liked to believe.

Wandering over to him, Rin planted a hand on his shoulder nearest to her while wrapping her other arm around him and squeezed slightly in a semi-embrace.

"Hatake Kakashi. You are anything but bland." She chortled.

* * *

Sleeping on the couch wasn't exactly what Kakashi had expected when Rin turned up on his doorstep the night before. As they walked towards the training grounds of the village he could still feel the irritating crick in the back of his neck gnawing at the bone of his spine. No amount of stretching and twisting his head around his shoulders had relieved him of the painful twinges he would now experience for the remainder of the day. The old, battered sofa wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, even to sit on. Sleeping on it had been a bad idea and he had found himself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, longing for the comfort of his own bed. But still, he wasn't about to turf Rin out into the streets. It wasn't his style. Kakashi quite enjoyed the idea of being a gentleman, and what better way to prove his worth by sacrificing his own needs for the needs of someone that he still held close to his heart.

Rin, on the other hand, looked to have slept very well as she seemed to bounce with every step she took, her eyes glinting with joy at each landmark they passed. She didn't say anything in particular during the journey, just merely pointed at random things and gasped in a child-like awe. Kakashi found himself smiling each time she did this. He couldn't even begin to imagine how the nostalgia was effecting her but it seemed to be a very stimulating experience, which in turn lifted his own spirits in a way that he hadn't experienced for a very long time.

Neither of them had gotten much sleep the night previous, what with the conversation bouncing from him to her and then back again. Reminiscing about events long passed.

He had forgotten just how much he had missed Rin, although thoughts of her had never ceased to torment him in the dark hours. He had never truly believed her to be dead, despite his peers best efforts to convince him of this so called fact. Last night his confirmation had bared fruit. Once the initial shock of her return had subsided, Kakashi had never felt happier --or more to the point relieved, to have Rin back in his life. He had waited for this day to come for ten years and that day was finally here.

Kakashi had purposely positioned himself on Rin's left hand side as they sauntered through Konoha. With the sharingan covered, as it usually was when not in use, he would be able to see her fully from this vantage point without having to continuously move his head. He liked it much better this way as he was able to take in a lot of the small details that he had started to notice when she entered the apartment without making it too obvious to her.

Kakashi had felt incredibly stupid to begin with when he hadn't recognised his former team mate immediately when she had stood before him. Her features hadn't changed all that much aside from her obvious growth in age. He should have recognised her from the purple markings that still decorated her cheeks, but ten years was a long time and it was a detail that Kakashi simply hadn't thought about. However, she was still very much the Rin he remembered, only older and far more attractive than he recalled. Her hair was the first thing that he had noticed as soon as he had realised who she was. Kakashi always remembered Rin with the same short, cropped dark hair that made her look a little tomboyish, but now…

He couldn't quite believe that she was the same person, she looked stunning to say the very least. Needless to say that it felt good to see that she had been taking care of herself all these years. Kakashi had wanted to say so the previous night. But not having the experience in such small talk and feeling quite unstable with the sheer shock of the situation he had decided that perhaps it was best to say nothing at the risk of being disrespectful.

Kakashi shifted his sights towards her when he heard another one of her gasps of admiration. She was facing away from him, gazing at the strings of stores dedicated to weaponry and battle attire. This part of the village hadn't changed for decades, so Kakashi couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. Her reaction caused him to smile again regardless.

He liked the way she made him feel, warm and wanted again. He recalled that crushing sense of loss when he had returned from a short mission back in his Anbu days to find that Rin had simply disappeared from the face of the planet. The memory was not a pleasant one and he had no desire to dredge it back to surface of his mind so willed it back into the bowels from which it came.

Kakashi regarded his long lost companion again and found his sights being weighted back down towards those luscious heaving breasts she concealed within her shirt. Squeezing his eyes shut Kakashi turned away, pointing his gaze towards the cobbles skimming the soles of his sandals. He couldn't recall if Rin had ever been so well endowed in the T and A department the last time he had seen her. It had been so long ago. Never the less he was finding it very difficult to keep his eyes bay. She had been back in his life for a matter of mere hours, it wouldn't do to be thinking such unhealthy thoughts. But even so, Rin had blossomed into a beautiful woman and he would envy any man that had the good fortune to find his way into her heart. Surely there was nothing wrong with admiring her from afar?

Feeling a sudden tugging on his arm, Kakashi dragged himself from his dazed stupor and turned to face the culprit responsible for disturbing him mid thought. Rin gazed back at him, apprehension etched into her features yet her dark eyes still sparkled with an intense excitement that one could only associate with a child. Kakashi had seen this expression before and the nostalgia swarmed through his mind as old memories of Rin's nervous former self began to float to the surface. Although he had only been blessed with a few hours alone with her, Rin had most definitely changed from the clingy creature she had once been. She held herself differently than Kakashi remembered. She stood taller, more proud and elegant than the days of old. He found that he liked that about her now. She seemed more confident within herself and it certainly showed on the surface. It was just the little things like the constant need to touch him to gain his attention that brought it all back to him. It was a pleasant sensation never the less. It was nice to remember… sometimes.

"Where are we going again?" She chirped as they strolled along the sidewalk.

"The training field. There's someone there that I would like you to meet." Shooting Rin another one of his sideways glances, he saw her drop her eyes to the floor between them as she linked her arm into his. Her expression was thoughtful as she seemed to regard the information.

"Are they important?" She questioned sheepishly. Kakashi smiled at her innocent yet coy curiosity. The idea that she felt shy about meeting someone new was quite amusing. For a woman in her late twenties, Kakashi thought that Rin would have found a way to overcome her bashfulness. The evidence was clear to him that she hadn't.

"Well, they are to me." Kakashi deadpanned, looking ahead of himself and spying two familiar figures slouching in the distance. Kakashi could never understand why they insisted on turning up on time. He always made the point of being excessively late and yet they always scolded him for doing so. After all this time they should be used to it by now.

Approaching the metallic wire gates of Training Field A, Kakashi unlinked his arm from Rin's grip and swung the gate open, allowing his female counterpart to enter before sauntering through himself. Rin stopped dead, standing rigid on the spot as soon as she spotted both young Jounin's standing in the centre of the plain of grass. She turned to face Kakashi as he approached from behind just as the young girl of the duo made herself known.

"You said, six thirty, Kakashi-Sensei! Six-Thir-Ty! Not twelve forty five! We've been waiting for hours! Again! I think I should have every right to tell you to shove your stupid training exercises where the sun doesn't shine!" Sakura squealed as she stomped over pointing her accusing finger at him. Kakashi sometimes wondered which part of the candy topped kunoichi was more powerful… her fists or her lungs.

Kakashi held up his hands defensively, stepping out in front of Rin and glancing over towards the other young member of his team. Sasuke was leaning against one of the rock pinnacles that jutted from the moist ground. Arms folded and both eyes closed, a discontented scowl planted firmly on his face, Sasuke looked as interested in the situation as ever. Though the Uchiha had amended his broken path and come to his senses, his moods had hardly changed from when he was a twelve year old genin. Sasuke no longer believed himself to be invincible and his behaviour was no where near as reckless as it used to be. But his past still troubled him from time to time. Even so, he was a damn fine shinobi, he wasn't a bad person at heart; just mislead. The Copy Nin had felt incredibly honoured when Sasuke had sort refuge within Kakashi's teachings when released from his incarceration upon his return to Konoha in the hopes of rebuilding his derelict clan.

Sakura emitted an angered, low pitched growl which dragged Kakashi's attention back to her. The young medic was now standing with her arms crossed over her chest and her bright green eyes were burning with rage. Kakashi was more than certain that she had been making her usual death threats towards him, barking them relentlessly at Sasuke as they had waited for him to show up. Perhaps his tardiness should be something that he worked on. Although Kakashi was aware that he was incredibly talented in his field, he also knew that he was notoriously unreliable when it came to his time keeping. Old habits die hard.

"Now, now, Sakura-Chan. That's no way to behave in front of our guest, is it?" Kakashi scolded lightly, bending over slightly with his hands on his hips in order to make eye contact with his former student. All of his old team, Naruto included, still referred to Kakashi as "Sensei". He wasn't entirely sure why and had never asked but he liked to assume that it was a sign of respect for their old, eccentric tutor. He had been there for all three of them at some point during their time together, some of those times good, others not so good. But he had been there for them when they needed him, as he believed that they would return the favour if ever the occasion called for it. He would give his life to protect each one of them, and he trusted his life with them if ever it was placed in their hands.

Sakura twisted her mouth in distaste, as Kakashi pinched his eyes closed in an amused grin. Making Sakura angry was one of the highlights of his day. She was so easy to tease, even now. Her expression of raw hatred was funny as hell, that was until she began to screech again.

"Don't patronise me, Sensei! Me and Sasuke have… What do you mean, guest?" Her crazed flurry of angry words complete with finger pointing was interrupted by her sudden hushed tone. Her face took on a dazed, somewhat confused state as she leaned slightly to one side to see past Kakashi. He glanced back to see Rin standing awkwardly, plying the fabric of her shirt in her fingers. A slight blush, a heavenly flush of crimson, dusted her cheeks as she raised her hand and waved at the young, pink haired girl meekly. Kakashi felt a slight swell of relief in his belly. It was good to see that not everything about his old friend had changed so drastically. She was still as shy as she had ever been.

"Hello…" She murmured, curling her fingers mid wave. Kakashi winked at her as he straightened himself to see that glorious blush deepen in shade. She really was beautiful…

The Copy Nin turned his attention back to his team to see that Sasuke was also observing the new arrival with an innocent inquisitiveness that was rather refreshing to see from him. Clearing his throat in order to gain their attention, he beckoned Rin over with a slow wave of his hand. As she approached, though slowly, Kakashi planted his hand on her shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly in the hopes that it would put her at ease.

"Guy's. I would like you to meet my team mate, Rin. She will be joining us in our training session today. Be nice though, she has a lot of catching up to do."

* * *

Kakashi casually sauntered up the stairs at his usual pace, one step at a time. His loyal orange companion clasped in his right hand and raised to eye level. No one would bother him if they thought his attention was planted solely within the pages of the book, this being his desired effect.

Having left Rin with Sakura and Sasuke at Ichiraku's after their very brief training session, all Kakashi wanted to do was go home. He needed to get away before he did or said something that would give him away altogether and at this stage he simply couldn't risk it. Rin had wanted to stay anyway, even to the point of complaining when Kakashi was about to make his leave despite him having no intensions of making her come back with him… as much as he would have liked to. It was for the best that she stay put.

Rin had clicked with Sakura almost instantly, their similarities were astounding as well as their interests in the medical field. Sasuke didn't seem too interested in her, this wasn't a surprise but he had joined in the conversation between the two girls as and when he felt his opinion mattered. It was a huge relief to see that she fitted in with the remainder of his old team and it was good that she had put her shyness to one side and divulged in conversation with both of them. This part of the day had been pleasurable, the training itself was what had been the catalyst that triggered an emotion deep within himself that he had never felt before. Kakashi wasn't sure if he liked it even if the sensation itself was anything but hostile.

Blinking harshly at the novel before him, Kakashi tried his utmost to regain his focus. The images and the words on each page becoming blurred and difficult to translate in his head as his attention was being eaten up by the raging erection sustained from his sparring session with a certain dark eyed kunoichi. He needed to relieve himself, and quickly. He could feel each individual bead of sweat forming on his brow and he noticed the low pitched groan he was emitting from his throat unintentionally.

Kakashi could feel his heart pounding in his chest in time with the agonising throb in his groin which intensified his desperate need for release.

He was more than aware of his instant attraction to Rin, but he couldn't believe how her raw power, mental stability and brute strength could turn him on quite so much. She was amazing, simply amazing in every sense of the term and Kakashi was struggling to get the picture of her, pounding her fists into the ground, causing it to shake and crumble beneath him out of his head. She looked so delicate, so fragile, dainty and elegant but she was so strong. It beggared belief and it made him want her all the more. Just thinking about her made him feel like he was losing his mind. This couldn't be happening, this shouldn't be happening. Not so soon, not at all.

Reaching the third floor of the complex, Kakashi peeked over the rim of his book, taking a quick glance over the floor of the hallway to find he was still alone and quickened his pace. Absently, he snapped the binds of his beloved book shut and crammed it back into his rear weapons pouch, unable to fain interest in it any longer. His apartment door seemed endlessly out of reach in the middle of the corridor and his guttural groans were quickly transforming into moans of discomfort. How thankful he was that there was no one around to see him like this.

Finally standing before the flaky green door, he fumbled in his pants pocket for his keys, trying with all his might to avoid making contact with his manhood which was now pulsing against his boxers. When in such a terrible state of arousal it didn't take much to set him off and he feared that if he didn't do something about it soon he was going to explode where he stood. Plucking the warm, metal key into his hand, Kakashi wrenched it out of his pocket and forced it into the lock giving a swift flick of his wrist. The door flew open as the throbbing sensation in his pants grew hotter by the second to the point where it was bordering painful.

Kakashi bolted through the door, swinging his leg behind him and slamming it shut before darting across the lounge and into the bathroom.

After entering the small wash room, Kakashi backed into the door, closing it as he rested the back of his head against the wooden panel. He felt completely breathless and totally out of control as he frantically fumbled with his belt and zipper of his pants. He never recalled feeling like this before.

Masturbation was an act he enjoyed to partake in on a regular basis. It was natural to stimulate ones self when needs must and he saw no shame in it. This, however, was completely different. It was dishonourable and disloyal to think of Rin in such a way. She had only been back in his life for one day after ten years apart and already he was fantasising about her. All he found able to think about was undressing her, feeling her wrapping her luscious curvy thighs around his waist as he took her in his bed. It was wrong, so wrong and disgusting on so many levels but the more he tried to blot it out of his mind the more intense his cravings for her became.

He stumbled towards the toilet, forcing his hand into his boxers, pulling out his hard member and resting his free arm across the top of the cistern. Kakashi had absently thought about a cold shower to eliminate his hard on, but this way was quicker, easier, and far less uncomfortable than having freezing cold water pelting at his body.

Unable to hold back any longer he began to pump his hand wrapped around his shaft furiously, gritting his teeth in an attempt to curb his moans of pleasure. He shouldn't be enjoying this but he was.

His cock was already soaked in pre-cum which intensified the sensation tenfold as he felt it running over his fingers and hearing the plinks as it dripped into the porcelain basin. Kakashi squeezed his eyes closed, resting his forehead against his arm still draped over the cistern. He was close, so very close and it felt so good.

He could see her. In his minds eye he could see her glossy dark hair shrouding the pillows beneath her head. Her beautiful face contorted in ecstasy, her hazel eyes rolling to the back of their sockets in white hot pleasure as she cried out for more, more, more. Those juicy breasts, bouncing with each thrust, arching her back and forcing him in deeper as he fucked her good and hard. He could feel her. He could feel her hot, soaking sex clamping around him, each sudden shunt of her hips into his driving him deeper into her core…

"Fuck… oh, fuck…" His voice, a mere whine, feeling his hot seed driving to the surface as he relentlessly pounded himself into his hand in his desperate lust for climax. Kakashi twisted his fingers into his dishevelled hair, pulling violently, almost to the point of ripping the strands from his scalp as he erupted into orgasm. His seed gushed into the basin like a jet spray as his legs began to give way causing his knees to knock together in a n attempt to keep him upright. His entire body began to shake as the boiling heat shot through him in a soaking downpour of euphoria.

He opened his mouth to scream but his body, wracked with an intense pleasure he had never felt before, made him breathless. Only managing a high pitched whine, he thrust his hips twice more to expel as much come as he could as he released his hair and reached clumsily for the toilet tissues on the roller to the side of him. Ripping a hand full of the tissues from the roll, Kakashi proceeded to clean himself up as he stood looking down at himself, gasping for breath, painful whimpers escaping his throat with each whoop of air he forced into his lungs.

Never before had he reached orgasm in such an intense, extraordinary way. Usually his fantasies revolved around the young woman illustrated within the pages of Icha Icha, even while he slept with other women, he would always think about Junko. The sex was always good, nice even, as a result. But this was something else. Kakashi had never had any particular interest in any particular woman but he wanted Rin. He needed her, needed to take her, pleasure her, hear her calling his name into the darkness as she dragged her nails along his back…

And yet, that shameful recollection of his vow to his dead friend pounded at his skull. He couldn't have her because she belonged to someone else. Zipping up his pants and re-adjusting his belt, Kakashi backed away from the toilet on legs that didn't feel like his own and rested his back against the door. He was still panting as he slid down the wooden panel, allowing his body to give way as his backside collided with the freezing tiled floor. Bowing his head he forced his fingers through his hair before dragging them back over his face, pulling painfully at the flesh beneath each eye in a frail attempt to hide the shame he was currently feeling. Kakashi knew he was digging himself into a deep hole, and he had no idea how he was going to get out of it.

How was he going to handle being under the same roof as Rin for the foreseeable future? Secretly, he hoped that she found a place of her own as soon as possible. He would help her if needs be, just for the sake of his sanity. Perhaps his lust for her would pass as soon as it had surfaced but Kakashi wasn't too sure…

* * *

A.N: Thanks for reading! The next chapter probably won't be up until the new year. Christmas is a very busy time for me (we have a HUGE family :P) So have a very merry christmas and I wish you all a happy new year!! Love Saph xXx


	3. Hide and Seek

Happy 2010, people. Hope the festive season has treated you all well as it has me. Here is the next installment for you all to have a gander at. I wrote the last part of this chapter with a raging hangover and even though I've sat and dissected it numerous times I apologise for any mistakes that I've missed. Hope you all enjoy it, I know I did :P

Saph xx

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* * *

_**

Naruto doesn't belong to me. Ooh, how I would change it if it did! ^_^

**_Crossing Rubicon's_**

_**Chapter 2: Hide and Seek.**_

o0o

Slouched on the lumpy sofa, Kakashi drowned his sorrows within his latest Icha Icha novel. Despite having read through all three of them numerous times, he still couldn't resist the urge to read through them again and again,. Sometimes not even in order. He enjoyed particular scenes within the illustrated pages and contrary to popular belief they were not always the smutty scenes either.

The way Jiraiya had drawn the fight scenes was particularly beautiful. The fluidity of movement and the clashes of energy when the fighters connected was one of the first things that had drew him into the stories as a boy.

His very first Icha Icha book had been a gift from his beloved Sensei. At twelve years of age, Kakashi didn't have the patience for reading. He cared not for deep, meaningful relationships and upon being educated of the novels somewhat sordid contents, the bright orange novel had found itself stashed into a drawer, never to see the light of day again. It wasn't until he had reached sixteen that Kakashi had found his solace within the glossy pages.

On his recruitment into the Anbu, Kakashi had searched through this forgotten drawer to find the sickly orange binds glowing through the random assortment of bric-a-brac. At this point he had found a companion that would never talk back, would never leave and would love him as much as he wanted it to. It was sad, when he thought about it, but Icha Icha Paradise had always been there for him. When things got too much for him, when he believed that he couldn't cope, it was this simple orange book that dragged him through the thick of it all. He loved these books, not just for their content but for the protection they gave him.

Kakashi heard the door click from behind him causing him to absently turn to face the blinding streak of light that was now pouring through the doorway. He heard Rin groan as her silhouette seemed to struggle with some cumbersome object in its grasp.

"Want some help?" He drawled, his attention being dragged back to the black and white print he held in his hand. He heard plastic wheels squealing against hard wood as his flat buddy battled with what could only be her luggage.

"No, I… I've got it! Damn, you wanna try humping this thing up several flights of stairs! Hasn't your landlord ever heard of elevators?" She grumbled. Her refusal of aid was an obvious indication that she did indeed want Kakashi's help, she was just far to stubborn to admit it. Typical woman; always wanting to be the dominant of the sexes. This amused Kakashi greatly as he made no effort to fight against the grin that was forcing its way onto his lips.

Snapping the book closed, tossing it to the sofa, he got to his feet and lazily sauntered over to Rin who was yanking unsuccessfully at the handle of the oversized suitcase. Her hair was flailing and the muscles in her arms twitched violently as the rage in each grunt rose in pitch with each forceful tug. Kakashi snorted in an attempt to stifle his own laughter. The sight was hilarious and he could happily sit back and watch her struggle for his own amusement, but that wouldn't make him much of a gentleman, would it?

"Come here, I've got it." Kakashi drawled as he wrapped his gloved fingers around the handle which Rin was gripping intensely. The tips of his fingers brushed lightly against hers, sending electric shocks shooting up Kakashi's spine. Just touching her like this was beyond pleasurable, and very dangerous.

They both seemed to hesitate as Kakashi shifted his eye towards her. She was gazing down at their hands with an expression of bewilderment. It seemed that the contact had caused her to lose her train of thought. A slight dusting of pink frosted the bridge of her nose which made her look almost angelic. Her features were intense and gorgeous within the light of the hallway, her high cheekbones slightly shadowed by the darkness of the room. He wanted to kiss her, right now, right here. She was amazing…

She gasped a little before pulling her hand away sharply, allowing Kakashi to take the weight of her luggage. The suitcase was unbelievably heavy and the force of her sudden movement caused him to partially lose his balance and almost drop the case. Kakashi lurched forward to counter balance his own weight against that of the case with a startled cry, grabbing at some of the loose straps near the base to stop the case from shooting back into the hallway. It wouldn't do for her to see him fall flat on his face.

Once stable on his own two feet after much shuffling and grunting in his desperate plea for purchase, Kakashi shot his head round at Rin. She was standing behind him and gazing back with an inane smile plastered on her face. He frowned disapprovingly as she started to giggle.

"What did you do that for?" He snapped. Rin broke into a fit of laughter, planting her hands on her knees causing her to bend towards him a little. That was when he noticed her shirt was open at the neck, he could see right down her cleavage and the irrepressible urge to just grab those luscious mounds wrapped in cloth was getting the better of him. Kakashi wrenched his eyes away from them, pointing his gaze directly at her face which was still creased with amusement at his expense.

"What? It's heavy! Be a man, Kakashi. After that show of manly strength you showed me today, this should be nothing!" She chortled, straightening herself and planting her fists on her hips. Kakashi hummed in displeasure, tightening his already monstrous grip on the case and hauled it from the floor with a loud groan of pure effort. Kakashi staggered backwards into the room with the fear that the weight would over come him and send him tumbling to his fate onto the hardwood flooring. Managing to keep his composure, and his dignity, intact he dropped it to the floor within the threshold of the apartment and closed door behind him with a precise shunt of his foot.

"What's inside this thing?" Kakashi whined, releasing the straps of the case as he straightened himself and flexed the fingers of each hand. Rin wasn't joking when she said it was heavy. He was able to feel the irritating prickle of the capillaries in each digit on his hand opening up, allowing the blood back through.

"That suitcase holds the last ten years of my life, Kakashi! Just leave it there, I'll drag it into the bedroom in a minute." She squalled, turning on her heel and heading for the kitchen. Kakashi gazed after her in astonishment as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh no you won't! You'll scratch the floor!" Kakashi growled darkly. He wasn't all that bothered about the state of the décor, it wasn't his responsibility when all said and done. But he drew the line of knowingly causing damage to the apartment. The Landlord was a beast of a man and Kakashi had felt his wrath before when he had taken the door from it's hinges in a drunken rage many months ago. The Copy Nin didn't much fancy having to explain that the expensive laminate wood flooring was in need of some TLC thanks to him and his illegal house guest. He would be evicted for sure.

"I'll be careful…" She whimpered, stopping in her tracks and turning to face him. She looked a little hurt at his accusation which in turn made Kakashi feel a little guilty. He didn't mean for it to come out so forcefully, but his statement stood, Rin was not going to be responsible for damaging the flooring.

"I said, no. I'll take it into the bedroom. You'll go fix us a drink." He responded with a soft chuckle as he crouched at the side of the case and hoisted it from the floor. Damn, this thing was heavy.

"Is that an order?" Rin deadpanned.

"Why? You like being dominated, Rin?" Kakashi replied darkly. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye as he hutched the case in his arms. Rin smirked at him shaking her head.

"That depends. But it seems that the Sensei title's gone to your head over the years." She bit out, cocking her leg and leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. Kakashi had to admire her audacity. She was getting pretty good at defending herself, even if it was all in good fun.

"Well, you know where the kettle is." He sniggered stepping into his bedroom loaded up with the heaviest suitcase in history. He heard Rin titter under her breath at the point when she entered the kitchenette. She was simply amazing…

* * *

Rin sauntered into the lounge to see Kakashi sitting back in the sofa in exactly same posture as before. Sprawled all over it with his porn supply in full view. She had found herself longing that he showed her as much affection as he showed those god awful novels. He pawed over them like a young girl would a small kitten. After their brief training session only a few hours ago she was finding it incredibly difficult to think about anything else. Each glancing blow he had applied to her had her head reeling and though the sensation was a pleasant one it was scary none the less. It was hard to believe that someone as placid and laid back as Kakashi could be so destructive, dangerous and arousing. Rin hadn't sparred with the Copy Nin for a very long time and she had forgotten just how swift and formidable he really was. He astonishing to say the very least.

Her return to Konoha had meant more to her than just coming home. It was a means for a fresh start, a clean slate. The feelings that she had started developing the moment she had stepped through the village gates she had originally thought were new sensations. But they weren't.

Once all the nostalgia had caught up with her this morning it was more than clear to her that her best friend was still standing proud on that very same pedestal that he had been since she was a young girl, and she hated it.

She didn't want to feel this way, she didn't want to yearn for him so much, but it was impossible to deny her feelings for him. Kakashi was still as indifferent as ever, still un-interested in her and she knew that this was the way it was going to be forever more. But the last thing she wanted was to lose him altogether.

The decision was made upon her journey to collect her things from the Hokage after leaving Sakura and Sasuke at Ichiraku's. She valued Kakashi's friendship above all else. It was quite possible that her feelings had come on so strong because of being apart from him for so long; it would soon pass… she was over him. And that was that.

This was nothing more than lust. An emotion that was easily mistaken for love. There was a fine line between the two, but there was still a boundary and there was no way on this planet that she was going to cross it. Either that, or risk losing him… again. And that was a risk that she was not going to take. The sooner she was out from under his feet, the better.

"You've got a good team there, you know." Rin pipped, strolling around the couch and holding out one of the porcelain mugs to Kakashi. Raising his eye from within the bowels of his book, Kakashi fixed her with a curious stare that gave Rin the hint that he hadn't been listening.

"Hmm?" He hummed, lowering his read to his lap and reaching towards the cup in her hand and taking it from her. Rin hummed a chuckle at him as she watched Kakashi raise the mug to his lips. Just watching him do stupid, silly things like having a drink made her knees feel weak. Surely she couldn't feel any more stupid than she did right at this moment. She hadn't changed at all… her evolution and growth had never happened. She was still that pathetic little girl she had always been. She had to get out of here…

"Your team. Sakura and Sasuke, is it?. They seem like nice kids. In fact I was talking to Sakura when you left earlier… what was up with you anyway? It's not like you to pass up a free meal." Rin saw a flash cross Kakashi's eye. It was only there for a split second but she saw it never the less. It made him look anxious and it was undeniably foreign coming from him. She never recalled seeing something so obvious in any of his facial expressions. It was weird and it piqued her curiosity that little bit more. It wasn't like him to lower his walls, at all.

"Nothing. There were some matters of state that I had to deal with." He stated flatly and pointing his gaze back to his book.

He was hiding something.

What Kakashi didn't realise was that Rin knew him better than he was willing to give her credit for. He was pretty good at lying, but to lie to someone who has been extensively trained to pick up on body language as an aid to see past the deceit is always a bad idea. This wasn't like him.

"Like what?" She pressed as she leaned back into the couch. Kakashi flitted his visible eye towards her briefly as a scowl settled into his face. Rin knew at this point that she was pushing buttons that Kakashi didn't like. He was never too fond of revealing himself to anyone, but he had been so open with her before, maybe he was telling the truth after all. Naruto had said the day before that he had not long returned from a mission. Maybe he wasn't meant to say anything.

"Nothing you need to know about. Anyway, you were saying…?" He drawled. Rin thought about his request for a subject change before remembering exactly what it was she had to tell him.

"Oh, right. Yeah, I was talking to Sakura and she told me that there's some apartments up for rent in her complex. I'm going to view one tonight. So, hopefully I'll be out from under your feet in a few days. And you can have your bed back." She finished her statement with a slightly hushed tone. She didn't like making Kakashi sleep on this sorry excuse for a sofa even if he said he didn't mind. She was more than grateful for his hospitality but it was time that she moved on and found a place of her own. Kakashi lowered his read to his lap once more, turning to face her and looked her over sceptically.

"Tonight?" Kakashi asked in a somewhat astonished tone. The question knocked Rin back a little.

"Uhm… is that a problem?" She questioned with an arch to her brow. Kakashi blinked at her periodically before he shook his head quickly and took another sip of his coffee.

"No. It's just I'm going hunting later. I was going to ask if you wanted to come but it doesn't matter." He smiled and glancing back down at his book. He sounded disappointed which in turn made Rin feel a little guilty. But she had to find a place to live. Either way, whatever it was he had planned, it sure sounded interesting.

"Hunting?"

"Yeah… you know? With the gang."

"Gang?" Rin pondered quietly considering who it was Kakashi was talking about. It was clear by his mild mannered statement that she should know who it was he was referring to. Kakashi frowned at her disapprovingly before she gasped in delight at her sudden realisation.

"Oh my God! The puppies! You still hunt with the puppies?"

"They're not puppies, Rin." Kakashi grumbled, snapping the book closed and placing it carefully on the arm of the sofa. Rin knew he hated her terminology for his ninja hounds, but that was how she saw them. They were playful and adorable, like all dogs were despite their fighting status and blood thirsty trademarks that they used in battle. But even so, Kakashi found it offensive for his Ninken to be referred to as "_babies_", something they were clearly not. Hell, she was certain that Pakkun was older than Kakashi.

"Sorry." She replied meekly, habitually tugging at a stray tendril of hair on her shoulder. She dropped her eyes to the space between them as she heard Kakashi blow out a sigh.

"Why do you do that?" He asked softly. Allowing her sights to drift upwards, tracing the profile of his upper thigh, over his waist before dragging her gaze to meet his and shook her head a little.

"Do what?" She squeaked feeling a hazy flush creeping across her face. Surely he wasn't that upset by her careless comments towards his Ninken? Kakashi furrowed his brow at her and twisted his mouth thoughtfully. Reaching towards her, Kakashi grasped of the piece of hair she was teasing in her hands.

"This. You shouldn't pull your hair, Rin." Kakashi soothed, running his thumb over the silky strands. Rin felt her heart jump into her throat as she regarded the totally unreadable expression on his face. Kakashi wasn't looking at her, he was looking at her hair as he plied it between his fingers.

He seemed to be in a daze, his heavy eye clouded a little and his lips were parted just a touch as he looked to be inspecting it.

Rin released her grip on her hair and trailed her fingers along his. His warmth was intoxicating and his touch at the base of her neck was electrifying. That odd flutter in her gut that she had felt the previous night began to stir and come to life, sending ripples of goose bumps to pop on every inch of her flesh. Rin allowed her hand to linger over his as Kakashi flitted his eye upwards and fixed her stare with an intense expression that didn't show on the rest of his face. The iris of his eye seemed to burn into her with an intensity that she found next to impossible to pull away from or even to define. It was weird and hypnotising.

For a man, Kakashi was simply a stunning sight to behold. Everything about him was perfect, including the flaws that came with it. She allowed her eyes to take in the smaller, finer details of his face.

Although straight and shaped in perfect harmony with the rest of his features, it was clear to her with her medical knowledge that Kakashi had had his nose broken at some point. A slight bump rested along the bridge yet added character to the boyish look that he had held on to so gracefully. The shadows within the room emphasised his high, chiselled cheekbones, the left one marred by the horrific scar jutting from beneath his hitai-ate, obtained during the… incident.

And those lips, full and pert, he didn't have the mouth of any normal man. He was beautiful in every sense of the term and she wanted to kiss him, full, on the mouth. She wanted to feel his lips working with hers as she breathed him in, took him into her being. She wanted to kiss him, badly.

Suddenly snapping back to reality, she folded her hand over his and pulled his grip from her gently before smoothing down that one streak of hair over her chest.

"It's just habit, I guess." She muttered absently, turning away and taking an interest in the wooden boards at her feet. She pondered what had just happened, replaying it all in her mind. What did it mean, did it even happen at all? Was it all in her head? Had Kakashi just looked at her with an intense passion that she had never seen from him before? No, she must have imagined it. It wasn't Kakashi's style, besides, he wasn't interested in a girl like her.

"Do I make you nervous, Rin?" Kakashi deadpanned. The question startled her, causing her to swing her head around and look him over sceptically. What kind of question was that?

"What? Don't be stupid!" She snapped and instantly regretting the harsh tone she had unintentionally applied to her voice. Kakashi's slight scowl darkened a little, which in turn put her on edge. Kakashi himself didn't make her nervous, she knew this much. She had known him far too long to let him make her feel this way, it was the situation at hand that made her feel apprehensive and jumpy. Either way, her sudden defence didn't have the desired effect, Kakashi wasn't convinced.

They regarded each other for a while until Kakashi shifted uneasily in his seat, the look on his face softening a little which caused her to relax just a touch.

"Can I ask you something?" He muttered in that flat drone he had used before. Rin didn't like it when he spoke to her like that. It was totally unreadable which made it impossible to tell what he was thinking and gave her no indication if what he would say next was going to be good or bad. If there was only one thing that she detested about him, it was his unpredictability. The way he went from having that beaming smile that made her world spin one minute, to going completely expressionless the next. She hated not being able to read him, it was incredibly difficult to judge what mood he was in when he looked at her in such a way.

"Yeah, sure." She answered eventually, in her small voice that was refusing to correspond with the impulses from her brain. She must sound pathetic.

"This mission you were sent on, to Lightening?" Kakashi eyed her over seeming to be waiting for confirmation to continue. Rin merely nodded at him.

"Were you sent alone?"

"Why do you want to know that?"

"It's just a question."

Kakashi was right, it was just a question. An innocent one, though Rin was finding herself wondering why he would want to know such a trivial detail. She mulled it over for a few seconds, still regarding his blank expression in a desperate attempt to read him in the hopes that she would be able to figure out just what it was he truly wished to know. Kakashi was king when it came to beating around the bush. He liked to ask little simple questions in order to gain a bigger truth. It was just his way, Rin could never find any sinister reasons as to why he did it this way, but that didn't stop it from being annoying.

Eventually, sitting herself up on the lumpy sofa, she shook her head.

"No. There were three of us. Me, and two other medic nin." She responded nonchalantly. Kakashi glanced away briefly, seeming to take in this information although his expression didn't change.

"But you came back alone, right?" Kakashi punctuated this statement with a short nod of his head as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands together. Rin wasn't liking this one bit. Why doesn't he just get the spot light out and commence with the torturing? She felt herself frown, twisting her lips thoughtfully before nodding at him.

"Okay. How come? Why didn't the others come back with you?"

Rin shrugged her shoulders, taking in a long intake of breath. She was still in doubt whether this large piece of information was what he really wanted. There was no harm in telling him the truth, however, and she had every intentions of doing so. But why ask these questions now? Why didn't he ask her these things when they were talking the night before?

"Well, Satoshi-san; my team leader. He had just signed another contract with the hospital we were stationed at. That keeps him in work for another four years. As for Yumi-Chan…" She hesitated a little when she noticed that Kakashi was now looking at her with an inspired awe. He was listening to her story with a desirable interest, and it made her feel good. At this moment in time Rin was the core of his world and it felt nice to be the centre of attention. Rin mentally shook herself free of her self obsession and continued with her story:

"Yumi-Chan got married. She fell in love with another medic-nin that worked on our case with us. They have a little girl now. She's lovely…"

"So why did you come back? You could have stayed on like your team leader did. They obviously like it there." Kakashi interrupted with a slight shake of his head and sceptical quirk in his eye. Rin snapped her mouth closed as she took the question apart in her head. This was what Kakashi wanted to know. This one little question that he could have asked without dragging out the torment.

Rin glanced at the floor with another shrug before settling her eyes within his dark gaze once more.

"My contract had expired. We had gathered all the information that we needed. It had all been sent back here… there was nothing keeping me there any more. So I came home."

That very same fearful flash from before crossed his eye again as she finished her statement. Something in her gut told her that those words that had just this second come out of her mouth, despite them being the truth, was not what he had wanted to hear.

"I see." He muttered, seemingly to himself, nodding his head before getting to his feet.

"So, about this apartment. You sure you're ready to move out so soon?" Kakashi asked in the way a father would scrutinise his young daughter before her first date. Rin couldn't help but laugh at him and his over protective nature.

"Kakashi, I'm a big girl now you know! And yes, I know I haven't been back long, but you need your bed back and I'm ready for my own space. Thank you though… for putting up with me."

Kakashi shrugged and waved a hand at her dismissively in responce. But again, something told her that he wasn't too thrilled about the idea of her leaving.

* * *

The prey was in his sights, through the shrubs and overgrown grasses he could sense the deer's ignorance to the impending doom that surrounded it as it grazed lazily in it's false security. Kakashi could feel the rest of the pack closing in and the sheer excitement of the hunt was causing him to salivate profusely. This was a good sign; it meant he was able to taste the air around him in order to keep his own scent away from the beast they hoped to capture.

Pakkun to the far left of him, Bull to the far right, the three of them communicated in a system of growls so low in pitch that no normal human ears could hear. The wind was blowing towards them, any sound they emitted, incoherent to the prey as it was drowned out by the mere movement of the breeze.

Kakashi loved the hunt, loved the animalistic rituals that he applied to himself. The Ninken had taught him everything he knew about the values of team work when hunting in this plain. But he was Alpha now; he called the shots, barked the orders. They hung on his every word, movement and sudden snap of his teeth. It was glorious.

For a spectator looking inwards on this little activity of his, they would think that Kakashi had gone feral. But, as any good pack leader knows, to hunt with the wolves, one must become a wolf. The animals he summoned into battle were not mere pets, they were his allies, his team, his pack. He was one with them, as they were with him.

A low rumble found its way to Kakashi's sensitive ears from his far right. The growl, long and deep was suggesting they move onwards. Kakashi shifted his eyes to the right, then towards the left, eyeing over each companion in acknowledgement that he was aware of their concerns. Being careful not to move his head so not to startle the deer still munching happily on its meal of grass.

But Kakashi didn't want to capture his prey as they did, he wanted to chase it. A sadistic grin wrenched each corner of his mouth, feeling his lips slick against wet teeth.

The other two braced themselves, knowing what was coming, knowing that they would have to give chase at any moment. Digging his nails into the soft soil underfoot, Kakashi shot through the overgrowth in a flash of leaves and twigs as he heard the howls from the rest of the pack to confirm that his decision was indeed the final one. Darting towards his quarry, Kakashi saw the deer bolt without even looking back pounding it's nimble cloven feet into the soft ground as it bleated for mercy. Giving one more forceful pull on the ground, ripping up the roots of the unfortunate shrubbery he shredded in his hands, Kakashi forced himself to his feet and took chase on the poor animal that was convinced it was about to become lunch.

The objective of the hunt was not to kill the animal, it was determine the skill of his team, to keep them together in top form and show them that they could capture, if they so wanted to.

Kakashi was however, one team member short of his usual pack, Jackal had been left behind in the training field from which Kakashi had been collected by his nin-dogs in the hopes that Rin kept to her word and actually showed up. She was unable to come to this world by herself, she would need the aid of the Ninken to obtain access to this plain of existence. Rin had hunted with the pack before, before she went away. Kakashi just hoped that she remembered the rules of the game, if she turned up of course.

The distinctive sound of rustling leaves confirmed that the others were following behind, it wouldn't take long for them to catch up and over take him. Even with chakra enhanced speed, Kakashi had no hopes of keeping up pace with the dogs. The deer's noble head, adorning a beautiful headdress of antlers, splayed like the branches of an oak in it's desperate reach for the sun, bounced with each flex of it's neck muscles. It was astonishing how such a slim, slender build could gain so much speed in it's need for survival. Kakashi enjoyed studying the anatomy of the prey as they made their get away.

The Ninken; howling their orders to each other began to outrun him as Kakashi began to slow his pace. He watched the deer prance over the overgrowth as the woodland hurtled towards them and the deer danced it's way out of sight into the thickets shrouded within the trees.

The chase was done. The animal was possibly in distress as it was, and Kakashi had no intentions of actually catching it. To do so would mean having to kill it and he didn't believe in such a ritual if it wasn't for the need of food. The hounds understood his stance on this, he was their Alpha, his game, his rules.

"Are we done?" Came the disappointed grumble of the largest dog of the pack. Kakashi ground to a stop, breathless yet content that he had done his duty for his furry companions. They needed exercises like this, it kept their spirits up and it gave Kakashi the time he needed to be with his pack.

Belting his feet into the moist ground, Kakashi doubled over, planting his hands on his knees as he sought for air. Beads of sweat fell from his hair in fat droplets, splotching to the mossy patches of ground as he glanced up to see the rest of the pack. They were all sitting about, watching him, waiting for more orders. Pity that he had no more orders to give to them. Kakashi straightened himself, planting his hands on his hips and nodded his head towards them.

"Yeah… yeah, we're done. We sure gave that stag something to think about anyway." Kakashi puffed out between his sharp intakes of breath.

"Hn. I was hoping we could at least get close enough to smell him. It's been a while since we last ate deer." Bull grumbled irritably as he flopped down in a brown heap on the grassy ground. Kakashi hummed a chuckle at the huge dog with a slow shake to his head.

"My, you are grumpy today. Your bitch giving you a hard time again?" Kakashi chortled jokingly as he navigated his way through the fuzzy bodies at his feet. Reaching Bull, Kakashi lowered himself down and rested his back against the inviting heat his largest companion radiated. Bull grunted in response as a white puff of fur made her existence known on Kakashi's lap.

"Kakashi-san. You smell funny." She chirped happily. The comment would seem rude to anyone else, but this was a species that based their whole level of communication mostly on smells of the world. Kakashi had gotten used to the odd comments over the years.

"Is it a nice smell? I did have a shower before I came out. Maybe it's the new soap I'm using." Kakashi teased with a slight grin as he pulled his mask back into position with one hand and scratched the little dogs ear with the other. Kubi was a cute little thing, she always had been but she was a formidable tracker and an incredible battle dog despite her size and appearance.

Kubi raised her fuzzy eyebrows at him as she continued to tread his thigh with her paws.

"Nuh-uh! Not soap. I know soap smell. You smell…" Kubi raised herself on Kakashi's leg and craned her neck to reach him. She sniffed around his face before pressing her nose into his ear which made Kakashi recoil and giggle a little. It wasn't something he freely liked to admit. It was kind of embarrassing that the formidable and deadly Copy Ninja was unbelievably ticklish. If anyone outside of this small circle ever found out he doubted he would ever live it down.

"…weird. You smell weird, Kakashi-san." She stated boldly and she went back to treading the cloth of his upper thigh.

"That's because he's in heat, Kubi." Came the so called voice of reason within the pack. Kakashi spun his head around and glared at the little pug that was now perched, somewhat proudly on the small of Bull's back.

"Pakkun!" Kakashi snapped, earning him a look of contempt from the little dog.

"Ooh! Kakashi-san's in heat?! You got a mate yet? Is she pretty? Can I see? I wanna see!" Kubi chirped as the rest of the dogs began to gather round and gaze up at him in misplaced awe. Kakashi turned to face the fluffy dog on his lap who was now wagging her tail furiously and panting in excitement at Pakkun's misconception.

"No. I am _not_ in heat, I do not have a mate and there is certainly nothing to see. Human's don't work in the same way that you guys do." Kakashi deadpanned, trying desperately to keep a lid on the whole situation. If he didn't nip it in the bud now this could get ugly very quickly.

"Yes you are. It's a very distinctive smell, Kakashi." Pakkun retorted in that same condescending I-know-better-than-you tone. Turning to face him again, Kakashi pointed a finger in Pakkun's face causing the little dog to lean back and eye over his finger gingerly. Kubi was an impressionable creature and he didn't appreciate Pakkun's input on his sexual status. He certainly wouldn't be thanking him for opening this can of worms.

"I suggest you be quiet before I grind you into a fine paste." Kakashi hissed. Pakkun merely rolled his sleepy eyes at his pack leader and emitted a disgruntled groan at Kakashi's denial. Just then there was a distinctive pop in the near distance and a familiar howl echoed into the clearing.

Kubi, Pakkun and the others responded in unison with short sharp barks to define their location for the new arrival of the team. Kakashi felt a smile pulling at his mouth with this newest confirmation; It had taken her pretty much all evening, but Rin had finally shown up.

Jackal came bounding in through the clearing, tail buzzing behind him in a flurry, ears pinned back to his neck as he raced towards the group. Skidding to a halt just before them, Jackal dropped to his belly and scooted towards Kakashi.

"What did I miss, what did I miss? You done the hunt yet?" He yelped as Kakashi fussed him on the head, dislodging a few of the bindings that he liked to wear. Jackal was more of a whippet than he was a jackal, but he was so named because of his explosive temperament and his over excitement. The name suited him well, and it was the first thing he had ever responded to from when he was a puppy. So the name had stuck.

"Sorry, buddy. Hunt's over." Kakashi responded, slapping the lean speed machine on the back playfully.

"What? D'aww, Kakashi-san! You could have waited for me and Rin-Chan!" Jackal whined. Shaking his head, tail between his legs he wandered away from Kakashi's touch.

"What? Rin-Chan is here? Really?" Kubi exclaimed, bounding from Kakashi's lap and trotting over to the over excited whippet who nodded slowly at her. There was a series of barks and whines from the small group of dogs as they communicated with each other in their native tongues. Kakashi didn't mind so much that they did this. It happened when they were excited or angry and sometimes it was far easier for them to talk to each other this way. It came as a blessing when fighting an enemy as they had no hopes of understanding the random noises the dogs made when dishing out their orders to one another.

Just then the group fell silent as a dark figure made their way through the tree's. The dogs stood to attention, seeming to stalk the tall being as she came into view.

"Hey, guy's. Sorry I'm late." Rin puffed, sweeping a stray lock of hair out of her face and giving the group one of her wonderful coy smiles.

"Rin-Chan! It is you! Where have you been? We missed you!" Kubi squealed as she bounded over to the dark eyed medic and began jumping up her legs. Rin chuckled at her with a fond smile as she crouched down and scratched the top of her head just as the others began to gravitate towards her. Rin shared out her love amongst the hounds as they all begged for attention. It was good to see that they still remembered her and Kakashi found himself grinning fondly at the sight of his team fussing over her like a long lost member of their own pack.

He felt the huge shoulder muscles of Bull tense as the huge dog turned to face the crowd.

"So, you were right all along." Bull grumbled. Though his deep rumbling voice never held anything that could resemble anything along the lines of emotion, Kakashi knew that the comment was kindly meant. Kakashi knew, deep down that she would come back and there had been many a time that he had told his Ninken the same thing. Humming a chuckle, the Copy Nin turned to face the large short hair, flashing him an eye crease.

"Told you so." Kakashi responded softly. Bulls droopy eyes creased closed as he lowered his head back to the ground with a loud chuckle that caused Kakashi to bounce against the dogs hulking mass. Turning back towards Rin and the others Kakashi trained his ears on the conversation, the small yips were obvious pleas for attention and as usual, Kubi was doing most of the talking.

"So, are you back for good now?"

"Yes, well, at least I hope so!"

"Are you gonna come and play with us and Kakashi-san?"

"If I'm invited, of course I will."

"Are you gonna be Kakashi-san's mate? He's in heat, you know!"

"Uh… excuse me?"

_Holy shit! _Kakashi shot to his feet as soon as Kubi's comment passed her muzzle and stalked over to the group. Stupid Pakkun and his big mouth.

"Alright, alright, break it up, you lot!" Kakashi hollered grabbing Kubi by the scruff and dragging her back while shooting her a detestable look. Kubi whimpered in his grip, folding back her floppy ears in defence and showing him her most apologetic look. Glancing up at Rin, Kakashi was greeted with an amused grin and an arched eyebrow.

"In _heat_?" She question casually. Kakashi shook his head in utter disbelief. How could his own ninja hound rat him out in such an open way. Pakkun had a lot to answer for.

"Take no notice. Kubi's over excited. She say's stupid things sometimes." He drawled, releasing Kubi's scruff and watching her dash towards Pakkun and Bull on the other side of the clearing. Kakashi would deal with this situation later. Needless to say that he was less than impressed by Kubi's behaviour. Kakashi just hoped that Rin bought his lame excuse and by the brief nod that she gave him, it seemed that she did. A huge relief to say the very least.

"So, what's the plan then?" Rin asked briskly as she bounced to her feet. Standing upright Kakashi eyed her over, she was wearing her Jounin uniform. Dark blue shirt, green flack vest and dark blue pants. Her hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail at the back of her head with a few stray strands of auburn hanging over her hitai-ate that dressed her brow. She looked good as a Jounin, she looked really good.

"Plan? What plan? The hunt's over." Kakashi muttered raising his hands questionably. Rin folded her arms over her chest and aimed a look of defiance at him, her lips twisting in displeasure and her eyes darkening a touch.

"Well, okay then. How about a game of hide and seek?" She proposed eventually having given it some obvious thought. Kakashi didn't feel like playing games. Especially not one as childish as hide and seek. Seemed that Rin had other plans.

"Rin, come on…"

"Kakashi! I didn't rush back to yours, shower, change into my scruffs and run all the way to the training field to come here for nothing! I want to play a game. And we're playing hide and seek." Rin punctuated her command with a bold nod of her head, poising herself as though she was looking down at him. Kakashi arched a brow at her as she leaned towards him and nudged him in the arm with her elbow.

"Come on. It'll be fun." She chirped happily, smiling broadly which brightened her face beautifully. Still, he frowned at her. He was tired and the dogs should be too but as always, Kubi had her own take on the situation. If there was one thing they all liked to do together, it was play.

"Yeah, Kakashi-san. It'll be fun. Ooh, ooh, can I be it? I wanna be it! Can I?" Kubi yapped as she started jumping up and down on the spot, her tail swinging out behind her with such force that her backside swung with it.

"Please, Kakashi-san. Pretty please? I'll behave, promise." Kubi begged, pawing at the bindings wrapping his ankle and looking up at him with those huge blue, watery eyes. Kubi was in trouble, she knew this much, for letting her over-active mouth get the better of her. But how was he supposed to resist that insanely cute expression, she always knew how to get her own way. Kakashi sighed in defeat turning his face up towards the sky.

"Alright, alright. Want to relay the rules, Rin?"

"Rules? Okay, this game will be a little different from the ones we used as kids. You, Kakashi can choose one nin-dog to take with you. You have twenty seconds to find a hiding place and then the rest of us will seek you out. Oh, and another thing. No clones, no mirage's, no traps, no weapons and no sharingan. It's only fair."

"That doesn't give me much of an advantage…"

"The rules apply to us too. But you have the freedom to move around. The objective is to capture you and your chosen partner. You can put up a fight but tai-jutsu is the only medium you are allowed to use. Capture is final if you get pinned to the ground. Got it?"

Kakashi nodded. If he had the ability to move around the field then he shouldn't have too much trouble trying to avoid them. Plus she never stated anything about the speed he was allowed to travel. Despite her obvious objection to him using any props or special abilities, she mentioned nothing about chakra manipulation.

Turning on his heel, Kakashi pointed at Pakkun who swiftly dove from his seat on Bulls back and joined him at his heel as they both trotted towards the overgrowth. There were plenty of trees to lose ones self and if he played his cards right there might even be an opportunity to kick back and relax for a while. Kakashi was good at hiding so this game was going to be a piece of cake.

"Remember, Kakashi. You have a twenty second head start. Use it wisely." Rin flashed him a knowing smirk at the end of her statement and Kakashi was certain that she knew he was smirking back. If she truly believed that Kakashi wasn't going to play dirty, then she didn't know him all that well. But he was more than certain that Rin wouldn't be that much of a clean player either. It was within any woman's nature to use their claws and Kakashi secretly hoped that Rin knew how to use hers.

* * *

Kakashi had been counting in his head the moment he had took off into the tree's, Pakkun close behind him and his twenty second head start that Rin had promised him had long passed. His chosen out post; a huge leafy oak tree with a view for miles, gave him the all the coverage he needed. And enough space to make a quick get a way if he needed to. There was no sign of any of the remainder of his team or Rin yet which put Kakashi at ease, even if it was only for a little while. This gave him the time to reflect on the conversation he had had with her earlier in the day.

Rin had all but confirmed that there was only one reason why she had returned home. Not because she was homesick, or for other reasons that he selfishly hoped to hear.

Her contract had expired, her mission completed. End of story.

Kakashi sighed miserably, lowering his gaze to the ground several feet below. He had to admit that it wasn't what he had wanted to hear. He had hoped that she would at least humour his selfish desires and tell him that she came home for him. But the fact was that she hadn't. He was an afterthought as far as Rin was concerned.

If her mission had required more time, she would have stayed on longer. He guessed that he should see it as a blessing that there was nothing to keep her there. Kakashi knew that there could have been every chance that she could have stayed if she had so wanted to. What if she had met someone? What if she had trodden the same path as her team mate, settled down and started a family? Kakashi wouldn't have been any wiser and would still be living with the guilt that he had broken his promise to his dead friend all those years ago… That he had failed to protect her.

Rin was a beautiful woman and Kakashi found it very surprising that she hadn't found someone that could give her everything that she could ever want. But then there was the thought that she could well have met somebody else, his affections not enough reason for to stay. But somehow Kakashi doubted this. Rin was fiercely loyal, had been for as long as he had known her. If she had found that special someone back in Lightening Country, there was no way that she would be here now.

Kakashi was more than aware of how ridiculous and utterly pathetic he was to think such things. Rin was a kunoichi when all said and done. Her loyalties were equal to his and they were both bound by duty and honour to do their job for the good of the village. Even if it cost them their lives. None of them were excused form their duties on any grounds. The rules and regulations of the Shinobi stood firm and had done for generations and would do for years to come. But he was only human, he could allow himself his selfish desires and fantasies as long as he knew that this was all they were; delusions and nothing more.

"Is she the one, Kakashi?" Pakkun asked eventually, causing the Copy Nin to lose his train of thought. Kakashi flitted his eye towards the small dog briefly before resuming his outpost position, scanning through the tree's and focusing his energy to for any sign of movement, or chakra signals.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kakashi muttered. He had no desire to talk to Pakkun about his feelings towards Rin. After his shameful display earlier, Kakashi had no desire to speak to him at all at this moment in time. He heard Pakkun chuckle under his breath causing Kakashi to lose his focus. Sighing dismally, Kakashi shifted his weight on the thick branch they were currently occupying and turned to face the little Ninken face on.

"What's so funny?" Kakashi hissed, in a bid to stay as quiet as possible. The dogs had impeccable hearing and Kakashi didn't want to lose this game just because Pakkun wanted to talk. Kakashi wasn't going down without a fight.

"You are. You've always been a stubborn pup. Never wanting to see the bigger picture. Always too content with the old, constantly stuck in your ways. You never liked change, Kakashi." the small pug ground out. Needless to say that Kakashi felt quite offended by the remark. He had changed over the years, perhaps in a subtle manner, but he had changed regardless as and when he needed to. He didn't appreciate Pakkun pulling him up on his flaw's despite him already knowing what they were. He didn't need reminding of them.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"your affections towards the female is as plain as the nose on your face."

Kakashi glowered at him. If there was one thing that Kakashi hated, it was heart to hearts with Pakkun. He spoke a lot of sense, sometimes to the point where he could be quite patronising. Pakkun was a wise being, but his condescending tone had a tendency to make Kakashi feel very small at times.

Shaking his head, Kakashi tutted in response to Pakkun's observations of him. He was a dog, he didn't now how the human mind worked, not fully. So what if his affections towards Rin ran a little deeper than he wanted? It was nothing he couldn't handle. Rin was his friend, had been for a long time even despite her long absence. Pakkun didn't know anything.

Pakkun shuffled towards him on the thick branch as Kakashi turned away and continued to scan the area. There were no strong scents in the air and he couldn't feel any movement or chakra pulses. Chances were that the hounds were keeping Rin busy in the far distance as they scanned the ground first for any trace of him or his companion.

"Allow me to share with you, some wise words your father once gave to me when I was young; It is better to regret something you've done, than to regret never doing it at all." Pakkun soothed as he scratched at the wood under his paws.

Although the words were meant kindly, the sentiment hurt Kakashi in places he had forgotten existed. It always hurt when Pakkun spoke of his father. Kakashi remembered the spiel, it was one of the last things the White Fang had ever said to him, before his descent into depression. It was painful to hear but even the Copy Nin had to admit that the statement was indeed a true one. Both he and his father had made mistakes, some of them with dire consequences. The important thing that Kakashi tried to remember was to learn from them. But this was easier said than done sometimes. Once again, Pakkun began to speak. His voice dragging Kakashi from his own thoughts.

"Kakashi. I speak to you as your friend, not as your ally. If you sit back and do nothing then you are a fool. And I am certain that Obito would tell you the same thing."

Turning around to face him, Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, to at least try and explain to his oldest companion that he was reading too far into something that wasn't really there. That it was because of Obito and his promise to him that he couldn't act upon feelings that may not even exist in days to come. But Pakkun had disappeared. It was at this point that he heard the howls echoing through the trees. The others were hot on his tail.

"Hn. Time to move." He muttered absently to himself, channelling enough chakra into both legs to carry him to the next tree. There was no way he was going to lose this little game of hide and seek.

* * *

They had been scouting the thickets for over an hour now. Kubi and Bull were sticking to ground level in the hopes that they could pick up a scent but Kakashi was very skilled and cunning when it came to covering his tracks. Leaping through the trees, Jackal and the others far in front, Rin was beginning to think that maybe she should be the one that was doing the hiding.

The game was meant to be fun, and also an aid in getting her physical training back into gear. But Kakashi was a sore loser and she knew he would do anything to keep from being caught out.

Pumping a minute amount of chakra into her calf muscles, Rin took flight. Gauging her leap and the distance between the two trees she found half way through the enormous jump that she had made a miscount in her depth perception. Thinking quickly she swung her legs behind her and reached as far forward as she could to try and at least obtain just a little purchase on the branch before her. But her reach wasn't enough as she began to feel herself plummeting towards the ground. Sprigs of springy, young branches from underage tree's were beneath her so the threat of hitting the ground was a small one. But that didn't stop her from crying out in alarm and waving her arms like that was the one thing than would suspend her in mid air.

Crashing into one of the tree's below, Rin managed to grab a strong branch near the top, spinning her entire body around the trunk and land on the other side. Hissing inwardly at the sharp stabbing pain in her left hand, Rin raised it to eye level as she sat back against the trunk.

The branch she had grabbed must have been damaged during her fall as it had gouged a deep cut across the palm of her hand. Blood oozed from the wound and began to drizzle down her arm as she smoothed a finger across the gash. The tip of her index finger began to glow a brilliant green as she watched the muscle and skin of her hand knit back together. The healing process took all of a few seconds but the downside to such quick healing was the pain would still be there for the next few hours while her body began to re-adjust.

"Man, I'm bad at this." Rin sighed dismally, flexing her fingers before wiping the congealing blood from her hand onto the knee of her pants.

"Well, I did say earlier today that you needed more practice. And that display of healing chakra just gave away your location. How disappointing."

Rin spun her head round as she jumped to her feet to see a smug looking Kakashi crouched above her.

"You're supposed to be hiding!" She squalled, jabbing her finger at him as he gave her an amused chuckle.

"And you're supposed to be chasing me." He retorted with one of those trademark eye creases of his. There was no denying that he was smirking underneath that mask of his and it made Rin's blood boil. She was more angry with herself for letting Kakashi catch her out and for also doing something so stupid to give herself away.

Healing chakra, being of an earthen elemental type was more distinctive than other chakra signals. She should have known better. She knew Kakashi would treat this little game of hide and seek like a sparring match. Well, if it was a sparring match he wanted, a sparring match he was going to get.

Rin, bared her teeth at him, bracing the muscles in her legs and lunged upwards. As she shot towards him, Kakashi's grin seemed to widen as his eye pinched a little more at the corner before he threw himself backwards and dropped to the branch beneath him.

Rin landed on the platform he had occupied previously, turned around and glowered down at him. Kakashi chuckled again and leaned back against the trunk fixing her with another one of his amused stares.

"You'll need to try harder than that." He chortled. "You've become slow and heavy handed in your absence."

Rin felt her eyes widen dramatically at the flippant remark. He was goading her and needless to say that it was working.

"Oh yeah? I'll show you heavy handed!" She bit back, a sneer on her mouth as she stepped back and dropped herself from the branch. She heard Kakashi do the same as she hurtled towards the ground, leaves and twigs snatching at her face as she dropped through the branches. If they were going to fight head to head, there was no way she was going to do it in the tree tops.

Her feet hit the soft soil, the impact forcing her to double over and plant her hand on the ground to absorb the shock. Lifting her head just as Kakashi landed in front of her she took chase. Sprinting towards him she channelled as much chakra she could muster into her fists. But again, he was too quick for her.

As she thrust her arm towards him, hoping to strike him square in the face he bent himself back, her swing missing completely and pounding nothing but the draft he left behind. Kakashi dropped to the floor and spun himself around on his hands. Kicking out one leg he roundhoused Rin from her feet before somersaulting out of her reach. Rin fell back with a shocking force. Throwing her arms behind her she landed on her hands and with a graceful back flip she regained her balance on her feet.

Rin faced him, her feet apart, hands raised defensively and regarded him for any sign of movement. Kakashi arched his brow at her flirtatiously. "Nice." He murmured before he darted to the left of her in nothing but a green and silver blur. Rin shot backwards as she watched him rush towards her.

His speed was frightening and extraordinary. Rin found herself thanking the Gods that he wasn't her enemy; she wouldn't stand a chance against him if this was a real fight.

Kakashi rushed past her in nothing but a flurry of colour. This was her moment to shine. She was behind him now, and with the sharingan still covered, as stated in her rules for this game, she had the full advantage. By invading his blind spot she could take him down with one swift blow to the head. Perfect.

Kakashi skidded to a halt as Rin blasted towards him, every ounce of energy she had was being forced into her legs as she pumped chakra into her right hand, clenching the fingers so hard into her palm she feared momentarily that she would break the skin. Kakashi turned his head towards her, his blind side facing her as she pulled her arm back, ready for impact. Driving her fist towards his face, Kakashi again took her by surprise when he leaned away from the impending collision and jumped over her. Rin was too slow to react as he span himself around in the air dropping himself right behind her and twisted his fingers violently into her ponytail. He yanked her backwards causing her to momentarily lose her balance.

Rin cried out, throwing her hands behind her head and clawing at Kakashi's forceful grip on her hair. She could feel the strands being wrenched from her scalp which caused her eyes to start streaming. She knew he would fight dirty. The bastard.

Rin forced her feet into the ground and began to force herself back, still gripping tightly onto Kakashi's fist still tangled in her hair. She felt her shoulders collide with his chest as he began to lose his balance with each push of her legs. She continued to run backwards in the hopes that she would force her opponent into a large tree but Kakashi lost his footing sooner than she had originally hoped. Although it seemed that he had planned it as she felt him release his grip and shift his weight from beneath her.

Rin collided with the ground, sharp flares of agony stabbed at her shoulders as she cried out in surprise. Before she could even begin to think about moving he was on top of her. Kakashi straddled her stomach, his weight pressing down on her almost to the point where it left her unable to breathe. Rin lashed out, throwing her hands out in order to strike him but he was too powerful as he grabbed both wrists and forced her arms above her head.

"You bastard!" She spat, unable to come to terms with her defeat, squirming beneath him in a frail attempt to break free of his monstrous hold. Kakashi merely chuckled at her as he bowed his head towards her. Hovering his face over hers, their noses almost touching she saw something in his glassy onyx eye. It was dark, predatory and a little frightening. She had never seen it before but the sensation of his breaths blowing around her neck, his broad chest heaving with each inhale and pushing against her breasts was causing her mind to fog over and take over her good sense.

"Did you really think I would let you win? It seems the hunter has become the hunted, Rin." His voice was a flat drone, that unreadable mono tone that she so hated to hear from him. Rin swallowed hard as he seemed to get closer. Her breathing became erratic and hard to control and her heart was defying the laws of her own body as it hammered against her rib cage. She could feel the intense heat of a blush raging on her cheeks. Was he going to kiss her?

"What are you doing?" She whispered quickly, just as the distinctive howls of the Ninken drifted into the enclosure. She saw the shadows of his lips against the fabric twist into a smirk and felt his grip on her wrists tightened slightly.

"Making my escape." He whispered back. A moment passed as she regarded his answer before he disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke. Rin just lay there as the smoke dissipated into the air, the shock of the situation had overwhelmed her system and her mind was trying frantically to piece it all together.

What was that all about?

Raising her left arm over her head, she lowered it and trailed her fingers along the thick zipper of her vest, closing her eyes in the process. She could still feel his body heat enveloping her. It felt addicting and that old, familiar sense of longing began to swim in her head, telling her she wanted him, that she needed him.

Rin felt a thick knot in her stomach begin to untangle, sending electric shocks of pleasure coursing through her core. Rin wasn't entirely sure if she liked this feeling but it felt good either way. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling that he was toying with her. Did Kakashi realise how she felt about him? Was he playing her feelings at his whim? She certainly hoped not…

Just then she heard the bushes at the side of her begin to rustle as Kubi come bounding up to her and begin sniffing her face in what seemed to be mild panic.

"Rin-Chan? Are you alright? Have you fallen?" She asked in sporadic bursts of concern. Resting her eyes on the little dog Rin shook her head.

"No, I'm fine. Kakashi's heading west. You should follow him before he gets away." She murmured. Her mind was still hazy, she felt like she was dreaming. Kubi nodded and gave a short yelp before bouncing over Rin and dashing into the thicket. She sensed the others follow her lead as she simply lay on the ground.

"Why do you do this to me, Kakashi?" She muttered miserably, dragging her hands through her hair in utter frustration. How was she supposed to get over him now? This little game of hide and seek was supposed to be fun, but now it just felt like a huge mistake.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Hope I'm keeping the standards high as I simply love writing this story. Hope to hear from you all soon, Saph xx


	4. Premise

Hello, all. I cannot apologise enough for making you all wait for this instalment of Crossing Rubicon's. Having started back to work not long after the publication of the last chapter I'm having to work very long hours. So all I'm doing lately is working, eating and sleeping. However, I did fit in some time for writing at the weekends. I didn't want you to read something totally rubbish and half assed so I took my time with this chapter due to my busy schedule so that it would still be the same quality that I have been producing prior. Please do not expect weekly updates or anything like that; I will publish when I'm happy with it, although you won't have to wait any longer than a month from now on, I hope. I won't be working on any other fic projects until the completion of this one.

Anyway, here's hoping that you like the latest chapter. Again, I'm having a lot of fun developing this story and I hope that it's still living up to the standards that you guys are setting for me. **_The pressure!!!_** Lol. Have fun! Saph xx

o0o o0o o0o

_**Crossing Rubicon's**_

Naruto: Nah, it aint mine =P

_**Chapter 3: Premise.**_

o0o

The day had long drawn to a close, the heat of the sun dissipating into the soothing breeze of the night air as they both sat and admired the sunset. It was unclear how they had ended up on the grassy bank. Seeming that they were both drawn to the same spot over time during their game of hide and seek. But it was a nice end to the day.

So there they both sat, listening to the leaves rustle in the wind as the night revealed her ghostly beauty to them, the hounds; lounging sleepily in the near distance. Neither of them had spoken for a while, lost in their own thoughts about nothing in particular, simply admiring the view and each others presence.

The silence was far from awkward; Kakashi felt at home here, at peace within himself and he hoped that Rin felt the same. Even in the company of his female companion he felt nothing but bliss. It was a nice change from the usual ruckus and disorder of everyday life. Despite his love and loyalty to his profession, it felt good to get away from it all for a while even if it was only for a few hours at a time.

Kakashi sighed contently as he rested his elbows in the soft earth, watching the final rays of the sun disappearing over the horizon in a purple haze. Kakashi was anything but romantic in nature, but he could always appreciate a beautiful sunset. The stars were already beginning to shed their enchanting light in the impeding darkness as the moon dominated the far western point of the firmament. He should have brought a camera, he thought lazily.

"The sky is so different here…" Rin murmured wistfully as she gazed up at the shadowed heavens. Giving her a sideways glance, Kakashi furrowed his brow as he contemplated what she meant.

"How do you mean?" He responded smoothly, turning his own gaze to the abyss above them. Kakashi had visited this plain many times, too many to count and not once had he pondered how this plain and the one of which he was born differed. Perhaps they did, but he had never really noticed, nor had he really cared about it until now.

"I dunno." She purred with a shrug to her shoulders as she leaned back into the moist grass with her elbows.

"It's just so much calmer, warmer in a way. I wonder, Kakashi, is what we're looking at the same sky as the one at home?" She looked towards him, the flash of her eyes in the moonlight causing Kakashi to turn his attention towards the renowned medic in his company. Regarding her question, Kakashi allowed his eyes to flit over her features. The sheen of light on her face, reflected by the moon gave Rin an ethereal glow. She really was beautiful, even more so than he last recalled and the thought irked him a little. He thought briefly about what Pakkun had said to him earlier. Was he responding to her because her hormones and emotions were reflecting what the Ninken thought of as heat? It had to be what they were referring to, he wasn't female… yet further more he certainly wasn't a dog.

Kakashi mentally shook himself free of the imagery that was desperately trying to flood his mind. Images of them, together. Kissing, making love… it was wrong, so very wrong. He couldn't do that to Obito, to her, to himself… he just couldn't.

Looking back up towards the sky, Kakashi lowered himself into the warm grass, folding his arms around the back of his head with a contented sigh.

"I really don't know. I never really thought about it before." He drawled. He heard Rin utter a small chuckle as he sensed her sitting up. Glancing towards her again he inspected her form. She looked at ease, but thoughtful. Her eye's held a tremor of discontentment which stirred a prickle of confusion in his gut.

"I used to look at the sky a lot when I was away." She soothed dreamily, wrapping her arms around her legs, drawing her knees close to her chest. Kakashi willed her to continue, sensing that there was far more to this one sided conversation and surprising himself when he found that he actually wanted to hear it. She chuckled again, bowing her head and resting her cheek on her knees.

"The sky looked different there too. The constellations were poles apart from the ones I remembered from home, but I knew that it was the same sky. Even if you weren't able to see what I did at night." The last part of her hushed declaration seemed to be mainly to herself.

Suddenly, Rin jumped in her seat excitedly, stretching her legs out on the grass sharply and reaching into her inside pocket of her now battered and mud-stained flack vest. It amused Kakashi greatly, thinking of how she had took a good pounding throughout the course of the game but seemed physically unaffected by it. Typical medic.

"That reminds me. I've been meaning to show you these since I got back!" She chirped gleefully as she pulled a tiny pull string canvass bag from the inside of her vest. Kakashi rolled onto his side, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. Rin tipped the bag into her hand, tiny flecks of grey spilling into her palm as they clinked together roughly. Pinching one of the tiny objects in her fingers she grinned happily as she passed it to Kakashi.

"Here, take a look at this." She whispered. Kakashi reached out and took the small grey object from her, pinching it between a thumb and a forefinger and scrutinised it for the special properties Rin had led him to believe it held.

"It's a pebble…" He deadpanned, narrowing his eyes at the small stone in his hand. It was no bigger than his thumb nail and although rough and granite-like it was rounded into a perfect oval shape. It was just a pebble, albeit a pleasing looking pebble, but a pebble all the same.

"That's no ordinary pebble. Over in Lightening, they called them Dragon's Eggs. you can't find them anywhere else in the world. I collected these from the beaches near the mainland." She hummed triumphantly. Kakashi arched a brow at her before going back to inspecting the small grey stone. It was just a pebble.

"Try crushing it." She demanded, planting her hands on the ground either side of her and looking at him intently. Kakashi glanced up at her, not quite believing what she had just said. Did she really want him to turn her precious pebbles from another land to dust?

"What?"

"Just try. No chakra or anything. Just try crushing it in your fingers." She demonstrated with a crab like pinching motion of her own fingers, with a small knowing smile on her lips. Kakashi shot her a confused look before sitting up and inspecting the stone once more.

"You sure?" He asked cautiously as he held the pebble up to his face. Rin's grin widened a little as she nodded her head briskly. With a dismissive shrug, turning back to the little grey object, Kakashi squeezed it as hard as he could between his thumb and forefinger.

"Ow." He grumbled after trying to crush the sand like rock in his hand. It should have disintegrated, but it still held its shape and it left a nasty indentation on his thumb. Dropping the stone into the palm of his hand Kakashi eyed over the mark that was now growing red on the ball of his thumb before popping it into his mouth. He licked over the digit tenderly as he passed the pebble back to Rin, who took it from him with that very same accomplished smile of hers. Pulling his thumb out of his mouth, Kakashi eyed it over, the redness had long gone, before wiping the remaining spittle on the knee of his pants and turning his attention the dark eyed beauty at his side.

"That's one tough pebble you got there." He drawled with a knowing smirk. He saw by the smug expression on her face that the exercise she had just asked him to perform had a point to it. Rin's smile deepened, bowing her head to the stones and playing them in her hand.

"Well, like I said. These aren't just pebbles. They're minerals, formed just like precious stones in the ground over a period of centuries. They're worthless but these are used for training young genin in the academies of Lightening in the basics of chakra control. It's really quite interesting."

Kakashi cocked a brow at her as he hutched himself closer to her in a bid to get a better look at her small collection.

"Chakra control? But they're just rocks, Rin. Do they smash them or something?" He questioned curiously as he took another one from her and smoothed it around in his hand. Rin laughed at his question, her shoulders bunching around her neck as she shook her head.

"No, silly. They carve them. Watch this."

Kakashi sat and observed as Rin poured the pile of rocks onto the ground at her feet. Picking one up at random she pinched it in her fingers while pointing the index finger of her free hand at the small Dragon's Egg. Her pointed finger began to glow a brilliant blue at the tip as she began to run it along the edge of the rough stone. Luminous sparks, possibly caused by friction, bounced from the stone as it sizzled in her grip.

Kakashi leaned in a little closer to gain a better view. Their shoulders rubbed together through the boundaries of cloth which sparked a moment of hesitation from Rin and a smattering of deep pink to flood her cheeks. Kakashi pretended not to notice as she returned to her task.

He felt his eyes widen dramatically when the stroking movements of her finger couple with the rotation of the pebble revealed a fantastic sheen of red to bleed through the granite surface of the Dragon's Egg.

When Rin had finished with her supposed massacre of the small stone, she stretched out her arm and admired her handy work before passing it to Kakashi and dropping it into his hand. Pinching at the now smooth little bead, Kakashi drew it close to his face for inspection and was very impressed by the result. What was a small fleck of grit, now had the same texture and colour of an uncut ruby. The stone itself wasn't as rounded as it had first been in it's raw form, due to the carving, but it still looked aesthetically pleasing as if it were a precious stone.

"You look amazed, Kakashi. Is it always this easy to impress you?" She questioned amusedly. Kakashi glanced at her briefly before turning his attention back to the ruby-esk stone in his hand.

"I guess I am amazed. I've never seen anything like this before. Why do the people of Lightening call them Dragon's Eggs anyway?" He pondered, playing the now pleasingly smooth pebble in his fingers.

"Well, there's this myth; The dragons' of Lightening go to the beaches there to lay their eggs. And when there's a thunder storm, these eggs are supposed to split open and release the young into the sky. Sometimes the rocks do split in the storms, but mainly because of the changes in atmospheric pressure, they have similar properties to glass, you see. The rock merely reacts to pressure and sudden changes in temperature… not because there's a baby dragon inside. Although that would be pretty neat." She finished her tale with a firm nod of her head and a whimsical grin which caused Kakashi to smile back.

"You always were a dreamer, Rin." Kakashi drawled, leaning back into the grass and smiling fondly at his friend by his side as he planted the gem and the stone he took earlier back into Rin's hand. He was finding it quite hard to believe how he had coped this long without her. She had always got a story to tell, and no matter how uninteresting she believed it was, she always had this way of putting a spin on it, making it interesting and usually quite amusing. Kakashi never tired of her random conversations about everyday life.

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming, Kakashi. Just as long as you know that."

"Know what?"

"That it's only a dream…" She muttered, bowing her head a little as her expression fell from gleeful to somewhat despondent. Kakashi felt himself deflate in response to her sudden shift in mood. Something was bothering her, but she seemed a little reluctant to expose what it was. Kakashi regarded her for a while, not entirely sure whether he should react to what she has just said or to let it lie. That was until she turned towards him and flashed him one of her most pleasant smiles.

"So, it's getting late. Should we start heading back now?" She asked softly. Her question was seemingly heard by the ninken as they began to stir from their slumbers and gravitate towards them. As usual, it was Kubi that greeted them first.

"You're leaving already, Kakashi-san?" She chirped, her soft white ears, folding back and resting on her shoulders. Kakashi reached out, placing his hand on her little head and stroked her lovingly. Kubi closed her eyes, arching her back a little as Kakashi began to scratch behind her ear.

"'Fraid so. We have homes to go to, we can't stay here." Kakashi chuckled as Kubi shot him another one of her heartfelt glances. It was always the same whenever he came here. Kubi never wanted him to leave.

"Can I take you back then?" She replied dolefully, as both Kakashi and Rin got to their feet and brushed themselves down.

"I don't see why not. Ready, Rin?" He called, looking over his shoulder at her. Rin grimaced, stretching her arms above her head and yawned, her mouth dropping open as she squeezed her eyes closed.

"Yeah, ready for bed anyway. I'm exhausted. Two training sessions in one day can't be good for you." She replied sleepily, lowering both arms and scratching the top of her head. Kakashi straightened himself, turning to face her when she stopped dead in the middle of her actions, a disapproving scowl on her face as she stared at the ground. Suddenly, her eyes shifted to him, making him wince a little. Had he done something wrong just now?

Throwing her hands to her side, she then lifted one, jutted a finger at him and stepped slowly towards him.

"Besides, Kakashi, you gave me a blinding headache when you pulled my hair. Children pull hair, you know!" She snapped as she slapped him playfully on the arm. Kakashi blinked at her momentarily before crossing his arms and twisting his mouth thoughtfully.

"You're such a girl, Rin." He retorted, earning him an astonished gasp from Rin.

"And you're a complete jerk. But you don't hear me pointing it out to you!" She ground out, planting her fists on her hips and bending over a little as if to emphasise her point. Kakashi snorted at her reply as he pulled his mask from around his neck and back into position over the bridge of his nose.

Kakashi enjoyed firing her up, it never got old and he was elated to see that her attitude towards him hadn't changed that much, despite her absence. She was still very much the Rin he remembered. Each time her personality showed him the small hints of her old characteristics from days long passed, it never ceased to make his heart skip a beat. He should invite her along for these hunts more often now she was back.

o0o o0o o0o

Rin groaned miserably at the sunlight piercing the film of her eyelids as she tossed her body away from the offensive stream, dragging the covers along with her. She didn't want to get up just yet, didn't want to wake from her most wonderful dream of a forest filled with sugar plums and raspberries topped with lashings of whipped cream, everything was so delicious here. That was until the fruits started exploding into juicy lumps of nastiness with excessively loud bangs and started calling her name hurriedly telling her she was going to be… late?

"Rin! Come on! It's time to get up!" It called again, the voice was so familiar. Where had she heard it before? It sounded a lot like Kakashi.

Kakashi? Late? Oh crap…

Rin sat bolt upright in the small bed and shot her head around to the digital clock that sat on the night stand. Her vision blurred momentarily as she blinked harshly at the clock and drew herself closer to it sleepily.

It was ten thirty in the morning…

"Oh no!" She squealed, throwing the covers from her body and tossing them to the floor. Bouncing her naked form from the bed she hopped towards the old battered chair in the corner and wrenched the white towel that rested across it's arms. She wrapped it around her haphazardly just as another barrage of loud thumps came from the door sending painful shocks through her brain with each collision.

"Yes, yes! Alright, Kakashi! I'm up already!" She called back, feeling almost angry at his persistence. Now dressed in nothing but the towel, she wrenched the door open and pushed passed him to get to the bathroom on the other side of the apartment.

"Why did you let me sleep in? You know how important today is!" She squalled at him as she clung for dear life onto the bath towel that concealed her from his roving eye.

"Uh… I didn't." He responded coolly, arching a brow at her and raising his arms questionably. Rin huffed at him as she entered the bathroom slamming the door behind her with the heel of her foot. Dropping the towel to her feet She sauntered towards the bath come shower and reached behind the shower curtain.

She felt a little guilty for yelling at Kakashi, heaven knows how long he had actually been trying to wake her. She was indeed a very heavy sleeper. But now she only had little over an hour to get ready and set off. Today was going to be a bad day… she just knew it.

Having managed to sustain herself a job interview for a professional occupation within Konoha Hospital only the day prior after her apartment viewing, Rin had wanted to be on the ball, look her best and make a good impression. This was so not a good start to her day and she feared that it was only going to get more stressful from this point onwards. She hated interviews at the best of times. Hated being put on the spot and questioned. Her mind would usually go completely blank at such times which caused her to stutter and fumble for her words. She figured that this wasn't always a bad thing; she would be any kidnappers worst nightmare.

Twisting the knob of the shower to hot, she stood back from the tub and walked towards the door, opening it only a crack and peered into the room. She heard the kettle boiling, giving her a sizable hint that Kakashi was now in the kitchenette.

"Kakashi?" She called in the kindest, most sweetest voice she had.

"Yes?" Came the cynical reply.

"Can you do me a favour?" She called again, her voice a little smaller than before. Kakashi poked his head around the door frame of the kitchenette and glared at her through thin strands of silver hair.

"Depends what it is. Want me to wash your hair for you?" He deadpanned. Rin merely frowned at him.

"Very funny. No, Could you go into my case and get me some nice clothes out? I need a white shirt and the dark blue skirt. You can't miss it, there's only one. Just leave them on the bed, please?" She begged. Rin really needed him to do this. If he sorted out what little clothes she needed then that was a good ten minutes she would have gained back. But as usual, Kakashi wasn't playing fair as he eyed her over (not that there was much to see from his vantage point) and twisted his mouth thoughtfully.

"Hmm. Flash me your boobs and I'll think about it." he remarked darkly. Rin gasped a little in response. The sick pervert. Could he not see that she was in distress right now? So much for the gentleman he had promised her he'd be.

"Kakashi! I'm not fooling around, I'm way behind schedule as it is. Please, I really need this!" She bit at him. Kakashi just stared at her vacantly before answering flatly. "And you think I'm fooling around, why?"

"Kakashi." She growled, flashing him nothing but her barred teeth and an angered grimace from behind the bathroom door. Kakashi smirked at her before disappearing behind the edge of the door frame.

"I'll do it in a minute." He called flatly from the kitchenette.

"Yeah right. A Hatake minute is usually about four hours…" She grumbled to herself as she closed the door and hopped into the warmth of the shower. Stupid man…

o0o o0o o0o

"Are you sure this looks okay? I feel like I'm bursting out of it." Rin whined, worrying with the buttons that stretched across her ample chest. It was at times like these where she wished she had her old, modest B cup breasts. It had been a long time since she had worn this shirt and she couldn't get over how tight it felt around her bosom. It was very uncomfortable and a bit unnerving. The last thing she wanted was to send her buttons flying around the room during her interview. They could take somebody's eye out!

"And why is that a bad thing?" Kakashi drawled as he inspected her once more, one arm across his chest and a hand placed thoughtfully over his chin, tapping his index finger on his mouth. Rin shot him a fearful glare. She was aware that he was joking, that was Kakashi all over, but it was the last thing she needed right now. He knew how important this job interview was to her, he knew how skittish she was when faced with the completely unknown. How she ever made it this far as a kunoichi, she would never know.

"Can you just stop with the pervert act and actually help me out here. I'm really nervous!" Rin squealed, pouting down at her bosom which looked set to explode out of her tight shirt at any moment. The buttons didn't look too strained but enough to be noticed. This so wasn't going to set a good example at her interview. She heard Kakashi sigh, causing her to look up at him as he started to shake his head.

"Don't be. Shizune's a nice girl. And you look fine. If you're worried about your blouse then wear something dark underneath it and have the buttons open a little at the top. You'll still look presentable and you won't feel so paranoid." He stated flatly with a small shrug of his broad shoulders.

Rin arched a brow at him. She couldn't quite believe that Kakashi was giving her fashion tips; him of all people. He had about as much fashion sense as a rotting potato. All he ever wore was that scruffy Jounin uniform. But even despite his supposed lack of style, Kakashi did have a good point, and it was really good idea to boot.

"How feminine of you." She chortled, crouching beside her case and rummaging through her vast assortment of clothing in search of a modest top she could wear beneath her shirt. Rin found it hard to admit, but Kakashi was quite good at this. He would be her first port of call when in the middle of a dress crisis, hell, she should take him shopping!

"See? I'm not just a pretty face, I have my uses." Kakashi deadpanned as he flopped down on his bed, elbows on his knees and his hands dangling between his legs. Rin glanced up at him and laugh heartily. Bless his heart.

"Whoever said you had a pretty face was lying." She retorted earning her a disapproving roll of the eyes from Kakashi. She chuckled at him as she returned to sifting through her case. Just then she gasped, her mouth pulling into a delighted smirk as her eyes spotted something dark and suspiciously adequate as she plunged her hands in further.

"Found something?" He deadpanned. Rin shifted her gaze to his, widening her smile and nodded before shifting her eyes back to her find as she dragged it from deep within the case. Holding it before her, she grasped the other side of the limp piece of clothing and unfurled it with a swift flick of her wrists. The garment was a very simple black vest top, but it would do the job in concealing her cleavage but allow her to have the shirt undone at the neck.

"Do you think this would work?" She mused, presenting the vest to the copy nin, who was now sprawled out over the bed. He scrutinised the top briefly before shrugging his shoulders at her.

"Probably. I'm not the one who's got to wear it." he droned. Rin tutted at him, screwing the top up in her hands and glowered at him.

"Great help you are!" She spat, getting to her feet and wandering out of the room. She heard the springs of the bed jolt as Kakashi removed his weight from the mattress and follow her out of the room.

"Well, I've got to go. I have a mission report that needs filing so I'll be at the Jounin headquarters for most of the morning." Kakashi drawled, picking up his smutty book from the couch and shoving it into the weapon pouch that rested just nicely on his ass. Rin couldn't take her eyes away until Kakashi turned to face her and cleared his throat as an indication that he knew exactly what she was doing.

She jerked from her mild daydream of actually squeezing his firm toned buttocks in her hands as she felt the presence of a horrific blush creeping to the surface of her face.

"Were you just checking out my butt?" He questioned casually, folding his arms over his chest and arching his brow flirtatiously at her. Rin felt the heat on her face intensify ten fold, she must look like a strawberry right now.

"What? No… no way! Don't flatter yourself, Kakashi!" She hollered in defence. Like Kakashi was going to believe that. He cocked his head slightly to one side, the devilish smirk more than evident in his one visible eye. No, he didn't believe her…

Rin thought frantically for a way to either dig her way out of this situation or to at least change the subject. He was never going to let this lie…

"Anyway, when's your report due?" She asked quickly. If she could divert the conversation to something else swiftly, she might stand a chance of him forgetting about this uncomfortable situation.

"A week ago." He replied nonchalantly, as he once again turned towards the door. Typical Kakashi and his tardiness. It was a wonder he hadn't had his ass handed to him on a platter by the Hokage by now. As he grasped the handle of the door, Kakashi turned towards her and seemed to hesitate, shifting is weight from one foot to another as his eye flitted about her face. It was unusual to see him act so edgy, although she had seen it before, when he was a lot younger.

"Good luck with your interview. Although, I doubt very much that you'll be needing it." He soothed eventually. Rin felt herself melt in his obvious hidden smile, finding herself smiling back. She plied the fabric of her vest top in her hands bashfully, glancing at the floor before shifting her eyes back to him.

"Thanks, Kakashi. That means a lot to me." She murmured as he winked at her before disappearing through the door. He could be a right pain in the ass, downright rude, perverted and overly zealous at times. But Kakashi had to be one of the sweetest people Rin had ever known. Although he didn't show it so obviously, his heart was in the right place, and she loved him for that. She had always loved him for that.

o0o o0o o0o

They had agreed to meet at Ichiraku's by midday and even though he was well over an hour late, he knew for certain that she would still be waiting for him. As he stepped into the small eatery, Kakashi had braced himself for the abuse Rin was bound to give him for being late… but she wasn't here yet. A huge relief to say the least. At least now he had the opportunity to gain the upper hand on her tardiness for a change.

Kakashi had found a modest little table near the counter and continued to nurse his glass of water until she arrived while engulfed within the pages of Icha Icha Violence. He was just getting to a good, rather saucy scene where Junko seduced the henchman of her enemy and later robs him for all he's worth when he heard familiar footfalls scuffling his way.

"Sensei. What are you doing here by yourself?" The recognisable cheery voice sang. Glancing up at the whiskered man in his presence, Kakashi instantly got to his feet, dropping the book to the table.

"Good afternoon, Hokage-sama." Kakashi greeted, with a bow. Naruto giggled at him, planting a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and causing the copy nin to look up at him.

"No need for the formalities Kakashi-Sensei. I've told you before…"

"It's merely a sign of respect, Hoka…"

"It's Naruto, to you. Got it?"

"Got it, Naruto."

Naruto flashed him his toothy grin as Kakashi repositioned himself in his seat. No need for the formalities he said, then why was he still calling him Sensei?

"Anyway, how come you're in here with no food? Forget your wallet again?" Naruto beamed as he took the available seat opposite his old tutor. Kakashi shook his head, smiling fondly at old memories of having his team buy him dinner because he had somewhat conveniently found himself out of pocket.

"No, I'm waiting for someone." Kakashi drawled as he began to, yet again, scan the sidewalk outside the restaurant in the hopes that he would catch a glimpse of her trotting up the street. No such luck.

"Is it that girl who was asking for your address the other day? You know, dark hair, dark eyes, really pretty?" Naruto mused, planting his elbows on the table and resting his face in his hands.

"Her name's Rin." Kakashi deadpanned, reaching for his glass and sipping at it through the fabric of his mask. Kakashi saw a mischievous glint in the young Hokage's bright eyes which he found a little unsettling.

"What?" Kakashi questioned as he cautiously placed his drink back down on the table. He watched Naruto's grin widen a little before he sat himself up and glance over Kakashi's shoulder. A young girl, no older than sixteen sauntered past him and hovered over the table with a small ledger and a pen.

"Can I take your order Hokage-sama?" She asked brightly. She had asked Kakashi previously if he would like to order, but he had declined stating that he would tell her when he was ready to eat. Ultimately he wanted to wait for Rin to arrive before ordering anything, but the persistent grumble in his stomach was telling him otherwise. Still, he would wait; it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

Naruto pondered his choices, rubbing a thoughtful finger over his chin before turning towards the pretty blonde girl with the enchanting smile and flashing her one of his own.

"The usual please, Izumi. Make it to go, I'm a busy man these days." Naruto chimed. The young girl scribbled something down on her jotter before bowing and making her way back over to the counter behind Kakashi.

"You not eating, Sensei?" Naruto pressed, leaning back into his seat.

"Like I said, I'm waiting for, Rin."

"Is she your girlfriend or somethin'?"

"Well, she's a girl and she's my friend. So if you want to get technical I would say so."

"That's a shame." Naruto muttered, seemingly to himself.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked curiously. Naruto shrugged as he glanced around the interior of the eatery, a smug grin on his face, before averting his gaze back to Kakashi.

"Well, it's kinda obvious. Don't you think?" Naruto pipped with another shrug. Kakashi furrowed his brows at him. Why couldn't he just get to the point?

"What's obvious?"

"That she has the hot's for you." Naruto drawled casually. Kakashi blinked at him, dumbfounded. First his nin hounds were telling him he was in heat; a physical impossibility seeing as he wasn't a female dog. Now the Hokage was informing him that his best friend, room mate, and the object of all his current desires had a raging crush on him. Kakashi felt like he should feel that all his birthday's had come at once, but instead he felt a bit overwhelmed and a little confused.

Rin was flirtatious by nature, she always had been for as long as he had known her. And although he knew about her infatuation with him from years ago, she had shown no signs of ever being interested in him sexually since she had returned from her mission in Lightening. So in actual fact, there were no grounds in which to stake Naruto's claim. She blushed all the time whenever she came into contact with anyone, she had always been a little shy, so this was a given. And sure, there was the brief situation that morning, but it was all in fun… wasn't it? A part of him wanted it to be true, but another part felt he could do without the complications that came with it.

"I don't think so." Kakashi muttered dismissively, folding his arms across the table top and taking another quick glance into the street bustling with people.

"Are you kidding me? You're like an expert at reading people and you're telling me you haven't noticed?!" Naruto squalled, slamming his hands down on the table and causing the small vase holding a simple posy to clatter on the spot.

"Calm down, Naruto. There's nothing to notice. She's just a really good friend of mine. We've known each other since we were kids." Kakashi deadpanned. He had to nip this in the bud before Naruto really started pressing matters. He was a nosey kid when all was said and done. This wasn't always a bad thing but he could do without the ruckus that would follow through his own denials of information.

"Well that's not how I see it. And how come you never mentioned her before?" Naruto grumbled, flopping back into his seat and glowering at Kakashi dejectedly.

"There's nothing to tell." Kakashi lied. There was plenty to tell and to think. But it was so painful back then. Either way, Kakashi wasn't about to divulge in such personal information to anyone, not even to the Hokage. He liked to keep himself to himself and that was the way it was going to stay. For the moment at least.

Just then a familiar and pleasing sight came into the copy nin's vision as Rin burst through the arch of the restaurant and scuttled over to where Kakashi and Naruto were currently seated.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kakashi. I got held up at the hospital. I never realised there were so many forms to fill in, not to mention the waiting time afterwards and… oh…." Rin cut short, her shoulders stiffening when she saw the extra person sitting in what should have been her seat. She eyed him over cautiously before bowing before him, planting her hands on her knees.

"Greetings, Hokage-sama. Forgive me if I was interrupting anything." She stuttered before straightening herself and staring with a stern interest at the tiled floor. Naruto nodded towards her as he began to get to his feet and peered at Kakashi through devious eyes.

"Hey, no worries, I was just leaving anyway. I'll see you later, Sensei, Rin-san." He drawled flatly with a suspicious grin and a mischievous wink directed solely at Kakashi. The copy nin merely gave him a blank stare that conveyed his own feelings on the matter quite clearly.

Making his way over to the counter Naruto began talking to the pretty young girl that served as the new waitress now that Aime had taken over the running of the ramen stand. She handed over a steaming paper parcel to him which Naruto all but snatched out of her hands greedily. Giving both Kakashi and Rin a quick wave of his hand, the Hokage made his exit.

As he relaxed in his chair, Kakashi watched Rin take her rightful place in the seat Naruto had been keeping warm for her, pushing the brief confrontation with the young Hokage to the back of his mind.

"Did it go well?" Kakashi mused as Rin sat nervously in her seat. The trick he had suggested with the dark shirt beneath her white one looked to have worked well. Her blouse was open at the neck but everything was concealed by the prim vest beneath. She did look exceptionally smart and pretty sexy, if he was honest with himself.

Rin glanced up at him before redirecting her gaze to the table and shook her head a little.

"I don't know. At least, I think it went well. There were several other people there besides me. Some weren't even ninja." She muttered woefully, fingering the grains in the table. Kakashi leaned forward, resting his crossed arms over the table top. It was more than clear that Rin wasn't entirely happy with how her interview went. She still seemed edgy and nervous, which in turn made Kakashi feel a little pity for her.

"So, did you get the job you went for?" He pressed, furrowing his brow a little when she shook her head again.

"I don't know. After the interview I had to fill out all this paper work: What my name was, date of birth, place of birth, what experience I had in the profession, why I wanted the job and all this other stuff. Not to mention the mathematical and IQ tests they gave us. And when I'd done all that they made us all sit in the waiting area just outside Shizune-sensei's office…" She explained hurriedly. As she was speaking, Kakashi noticed that her hands were now under the table. The jolting movements of her shoulders signified that she was rubbing her hands together briskly in an attempt to calm down. She was undeniably anxious and Kakashi found himself unable to blame her for it. He could imagine the experience to be quite unnerving.

"Well, when will you know? Surely they gave you a date of when the vacancy slot closes." Kakashi asked flatly as Rin glanced up at him again, blowing out an exasperated sigh. She looked scared to death. It was just like her to wear her heart on her sleeve.

Pulling one of her hands from beneath the table, she revealed a small white envelope, her name emblazoned with fresh black ink on the front of it.

"I guess I'll know when I open this? The girl at the front desk gave me this and told me not to open it until I got home…" She hesitated, flitting her eyes around the white paper container as she repeatedly turned it over in her hands.

"Open it now if you want. They only tell you to wait so that you don't open them on site. Lets you save face in front of the other applicants if you're disappointed." Kakashi stated casually, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. Rin whimpered a little under her breath, grasping the envelope in both hands before glancing up at him with a needy anticipation hanging in her dark eyes.

"You open it for me… please?" She begged, leaning over the table and passing Kakashi the envelope that sealed Rin's fate within it. Kakashi recoiled from her hand and shook his head. That was way too much responsibility, even for him.

"No, Rin, you should open it."

"Oh, please, Kakashi. Please. I'll buy you ramen if you do." She pleaded again, shaking the envelope at him desperately. Kakashi sighed at her. It was obvious that she had been expecting a more direct approach from her interviewer rather than some sealed note. Pouting in distaste, Kakashi found himself taking the white slip from her and peeling the seal from the folds. Rin sat back in her chair, both hands clasped to her mouth. She seemed to be waiting for anything other than good news, as her eyes darted about his face.

Folding back the flap that contained the letter, Kakashi pulled the fine scrap of bamboo from its casing, unfolded it and inspected the scripture.

"Well… I don't know what to say." Kakashi deadpanned deeply and giving Rin the best sympathetic arch of his eyebrow he could muster. He saw her expression drop as she let her arms fall to her sides and slump herself back into her chair. She looked close to tears as she sat there shaking her head, her long hair sweeping across her shoulders.

"I knew it. I knew I wouldn't get it. High expectations of myself never get me anywhere." She grumbled, bowing her head shamefully just as Kakashi passed her the note in his hand.

"You misunderstand me, Rin. Yes, I'm very disappointed. But mainly because I'm the one who will be buying the ramen today." He drawled. Rin glanced up at him, furrowing her dark brows as her expression darkened a little.

"What are you talking about?" She ground out, obviously not in the mood for talking right now. Kakashi flashed her a grin beneath his mask as he motioned the slip of paper towards her, prompting her to take it from him. Grasping the note in both hands, Rin reluctantly inspected it, her expression grim and forlorn until her eyes reached the bottom of the page.

Her dark eyes widened dramatically and obtained a sparkle of excitement as her mouth dropped open and a strained gasp escaped her widely parted lips.

"Successful? It… it say's I was successful. Oh my… my goodness." She squeaked, raising a hand to her chest and twisting the fabric through her fingers.

"I believe a celebratory lunch is in order, ne?" Kakashi pipped, looking over his shoulder and motioning with a raised hand to the young girl behind the counter. She smiled at him bashfully as she picked up her ledger and navigated her way around the counter and over to their table.

Since the moment she had informed him of her intentions the night previous, there had been no doubt in his mind that she would get the job she wanted. He felt at first that she was moving just a little too quickly after her long stint away from the village. But by the look of utter amazement on her face it seemed that this little bit of good news was just what she needed.

o0o o0o o0o

The meal had been a simple one, beef ramen, but with all the trimmings and Rin had enjoyed every single mouthful. She much preferred barbeque meals over the simple noodle dish that could be bought for pennies from the local grocer. But nothing beat a free meal in a nicely presented eatery paid for by the only man she knew resented putting his hand in his pocket even for himself.

Dropping her chopsticks into the now clean porcelain bowl, Rin sighed contently as she leaned back into her chair.

"That was just what the doctor ordered. I think you should buy me lunch more often." She chirped, a wry smile forming at the corners of her mouth as she watched Kakashi wrench the fabric of his mask back over the bridge of his nose. He glanced at her almost anxiously as he smoothed his hand over his face, eliminating the creases in his facial covering.

"Don't bet on it. This is a one off." He replied darkly, reaching for the paper bill left by the ramen girl and inspecting it intensely. Planting the small sheet back into the black plate on which it was presented, Kakashi then fumbled in his back pocket, pulling out a clip that housed a thick wad of currency. Unfurling a few of these notes he then placed them on top of the bill before averting his sights back to her.

"So, when does this new occupation of yours begin?" He asked softly, leaning back into his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh, according to the letter, I have a weeks grace. It say's something about finalising paper work and details. So, next week I have to report to Shizune-sensei's office and I guess I'll be shown the ropes from there." She chirped happily, grasping at her glass of water and sipping at it lovingly. The cool fluid slipped down her throat, leaving an inviting wetness in her mouth. Placing the glass back on the table she resumed with her conversation.

"And the occupation isn't new. I became a pathologist back in Lightening, so I'm fully trained." She finished triumphantly. She saw no shame in showing her pride for her work, and she had no qualms in talking about it no matter how grim it may seem to some people.

"Seems a strange career choice for you, Rin. I never thought you enjoyed playing with dead things." Kakashi tittered as he arched an amused brow at her. Rin wrinkled her nose at him in disgust as she lurched her head back causing the legs of her chair to squeal against the tiles.

"Ew! Kakashi, you make it sound like I poke dead animals with a stick! I'll have you know that pathology is a fine art within the world of the medic-nin. It trains the mind as well as the hand. You can learn a lot from a corpse. Besides, it wasn't a choice for me. I was a pathologists assistant for almost five years until he retired. It was the only opening they had for me at the time that allowed me to work on the case." She explained confidently. Kakashi raised his brows at her, giving her a slight yet approving nod of his head.

"So you should already know the in's and the out's of it all then?" He mused.

Rin regarded him for a moment. Again he was taking an interest in what she had to say, again she was the core of his world, the vital centre of his attention. And again it felt good. It had took her mere day's to find that he was all she had ever wanted, all she ever needed. Such a pity that he didn't feel the same. She wouldn't question him about it, she had tried before and he had all but broken her heart when he had rejected her advances. Rin had no desire to tread that path again, to come across as needy and hopeless as she had done back then. She had already proved to herself that she could cope on her own and that was the way she was willing it to stay.

Opening her mouth to respond to his earlier question she was interrupted by a flurry of curtains as someone entered the ramen stand and diverted Kakashi's attention from her to them. Rin stifled a groan of disappointment as the retraction of his gaze left a cold chill on her skin.

"There you are. You have to be the most illusive man I've ever known." The feminine voice griped. Rin glanced towards the holder of the voice, a tremor of reminiscence ringing in her ears. The woman whom had interrupted them was tall and beautiful, long locks of ebony hair spilling over her shoulders, framing a set of piercing crimson eyes.

"Well, you've found me. What can I do for you, Kurenai?" Kakashi pipped, his visible eye pinching closed with his concealed grin.

"Well, me and the guys were wondering if… oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were dining with a lady friend." Kurenai's voice dropped in pitch as she focused on Rin and scrutinised her momentarily. Rin felt her heart sink a little at the notion that the beautiful woman didn't recognise her. Kurenai smiled fondly as she reached out a welcoming hand to her. Rin begrudgingly raised her own, grasping Kurenai's hand firmly and giving it a brisk shake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Have you and Kakashi known each other long?" She asked kindly. Rin nodded bashfully as she released the tall woman's hand from her grip and rested her arm on the table top.

"I guess you could say that." Rin responded coolly. Surely she must know who she was by now.

Rin saw the perplexity unfold in Kurenai's deep eyes; not quite the flash of recognition that she had hoped for but it was a start. Flitting her gaze to Kakashi, Rin saw the amused glint in his eye, a confirmation that he knew what game she was playing with the beautiful Jounin.

"Hmm, you know, you look very familiar. Are you from around here? I feel like I know you." Kurenai quipped dragging Rin's attention back to her.

"Well, you should." Kakashi drawled nonchalantly from the other side of the table. Kurenai spun her head around at him, giving him a confused glare, causing Kakashi to chuckle in his seat.

"You remember Rin, don't you?" He droned, presenting an offering hand to his table guest who sat and blushed in her chair.

Kurenai turned back to Rin slowly, her blood red eyes wide with shock as they flitted around her form.

"Hello, Kurenai. It's been a while." Rin murmured coyly as she played her fingers over the grain in the wood of the table before getting to her feet to greet her once closest female friend. Kurenai took a step back from the table clasping her hands to her cheeks and shaking her head sporadically.

"Rin? Oh my goodness. Rin? I didn't even recognise you, it's been so long!" She squealed, grasping Rin's shoulders and pulling her into a tight embrace. Rin gasped a little as she raised her arms and wrapped them around Kurenai's shoulders, squeezing them warmly. It felt wonderful to be greeted in such a way, now that Kurenai remembered her. Rin closed her eyes, basking in her friends inviting warmth before the obsidian haired Jounin pulled away and clasped her shoulders again.

"My, you've changed so much, Rin. Where have you been, how long have you been back?" Kurenai chirped excitedly.

"Firstly I was sent on a mission ten years ago. Should have lasted three but it took a little longer than anticipated and secondly I've been back about three day's now. And you haven't changed a bit, Kurenai. It's good to see you." Rin smiled at her as the crimson eyed Jounin stroked a hand through her hair lovingly.

"Well, all the more reason for you two to join us tonight! Genma has sent a message that he'll be returning this afternoon. How do you guy's feel about meeting at The Lofty Kunai at about eight-ish, maybe?" Kurenai, glanced towards Kakashi. Seemed she was trying to gain his approval more than anything.

"What's The Lofty Kunai?" Rin mused inquisitively as Kurenai released her shoulders and glanced at her in disbelief.

"It's a club on the other side of the village. They have a ninja only night once a week, so you'll have to bring your ID if you want to get in. Haven't you heard of it?" Kurenai pressed, arching a dark brow at Rin as settled herself back into her seat.

"Well, I have been away for a decade. And I wasn't of the legal age when I left so, no, I haven't heard of it. Sounds fun though. What do you think, Kakashi?"

Folding her arms across the battered wood, Rin focused on her silver haired counter part on the other side of the table. Before he could respond, Kurenai jutted a finger at him causing Kakashi to recoil a little and narrow his eye at her accusing gesture.

"He doesn't get a choice. You're both coming. Everyone's going to be there. So, I'll see you guy's at eight!" Kurenai chirped just as she turned on her heel and began to saunter out of the eatery. Seemed that she didn't need a reply to her request. Rin watched her old friend leave the ramen bar and walk briskly up the street before averting her attention back to Kakashi. He emitted a discontented groan and rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms sharply.

"Has she always been this bossy?" Rin whispered, almost fearing that the focus of their discussion would hear and come back screaming her profanities.

"Not always, recently though, yeah. Nice to know that my opinion doesn't matter." He stated irritably as he got to his feet. Rin followed suit as they both began to make their way out into the bustling streets of the village.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. She probably thought you were going to say no." Rin quipped giving Kakashi a playful nudge of her shoulder into his as they began to walk along the high street. The village was teaming with people as they spilled in and out of the assortments of shops, bars and eateries. It felt good to see the village was still full of life, vibrant and forever moving.

Stepping in line with Kakashi as he forced his hands into his pockets, shoulders slumped in his usual slouch, she watched his frown deepen a little before he shrugged and turned his head to face her.

"I may have said no. But then again, I may have agreed. I guess you'll never know now." He deadpanned, turning his sights back to the sidewalk.

"Did I ever tell you how weird you are, Kakashi? You talk like you've gained the upper hand here when all Kurenai did was put you in your place." Rin retorted giving him a perplexed sideways glance.

"You've told me a few times, yes. But I'm cool with that. I like to be different. And there's nothing wrong with being put in one's place… as long as they deserved it." He fired back. Rin tittered at him as they made their way through the crowds and up the side street. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she was quite looking forward to meeting everyone again despite her anxiety. But then again, the adrenaline rush might be a good thing. It had been a few years since she had had a good dance and tonight would be a good opportunity to blow off some steam.

o0o o0o o0o

The breeze felt heavenly on her hot skin as she admired the stars from the patio, the soft winds played gently with the pleats of her purple halter neck dress causing the cloth to skim along her knees. Her arms crossed upon the viewing gallery that overlooked the expansive beer gardens at the back of the bar, Rin felt awash with nostalgia once again. A sensation she was beginning to enjoy more and more as she sniffed greedily at the night air. There was no one else outside with her, it was just her and her memories, and for the moment she liked it this way.

Sighing contently Rin gazed over the dark grasses of the grounds, absently noticing the rise in volume of the heaving club behind her. She turned her head instinctively just as her guest closed the door behind him and approached her, mimicking her stance as he too leaned across the fencing. He looked good with his light blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow and black dress pants with the slight pleat down the centre. She felt it was a shame, however, that he still wore the hitai-ate and the mask to cover his face, but to each their own. Who was she to tell him what he could and couldn't wear?

"A pretty thing like you shouldn't be out here all by herself. The guy's were wondering where you got to, so I came looking." Kakashi drawled amusedly, an obvious grin pinching at the corner of his eye that scanned the grounds for what Rin was finding so interesting.

"Hmm. Flattery will get you everywhere, you know. Besides, it's too hot in there. I came out for a breather. And Gai's dance moves are way better than mine, he's putting me to shame." She replied with a slight giggle, motioning with a swift jerk of her head towards the glass doors to their rear. Kakashi nodded in agreement as he hummed a chuckle at her. Turning her attention back to the sky, she admired the stars once more, the memories of watching the sunset the previous day still a very raw and happy moment in her mind. It would be a moment that she would never forget.

They both stood next to each other, feeling the gentle breeze flow around them. Basking in the calm ambience the night provided against the hustle and bustle that commenced within the building behind them. Again, it was a beautiful night and Rin could choose no one better than Kakashi to share it with. She turned her head to face him, his one dark eye thoughtful and serene, and admired how the moonlight shone on his almost white hair. The glossy sheen on each individual strand made it look like plated silver. Kakashi had lovely hair, despite what anyone else thought and she would give anything to have the opportunity to run her hands through it.

"I forgot just how much I missed this place." She murmured eventually, shifting her gaze to the grounds, watching the grass swing lazily in the wind. Kakashi didn't answer, not that she had expected him to. Maybe he was in a listening mood.

"It's easy to forget, you know? There's so many things that I've missed about home. But I never really appreciated them until I came back. Tell me, Kakashi, what do you miss when you're away?"

She turned to face him again, her eyes drawn to the fabric of his lips as he twisted them thoughtfully. Shifting his weight on the fencing, Kakashi stooped his body a little lower, his chin almost resting on the backs of his hands as he continued to gaze into the distance.

"I don't know. My bed, maybe?" He answered dully, almost like he was awaiting approval from her for his quick response. Rin tittered at him, averting her eyes back to the view.

"There must be something you miss about the place as a whole. I missed lots of things, like the smell." She sensed Kakashi watching her intently as she stood on tip toes, drawing a deep breath of the enchanting air into her lungs through her nose. Relaxing she slumped down, exhaling a satisfied sigh as she released her breath into the night.

"It's so musky and refreshing. Nowhere in the world has the same scent as here. Come on, Kakashi. Think about it. There must be one little thing that you miss about home other than creature comforts." She teased, nudging the base of his arm with her elbow. She saw his brow crease a little at the sudden movement as he retreated into his own thoughts. After a moment he seemed to relax a little, shifting his weight against the wooden frame of the viewing gallery and gazing into the distance.

"I miss the hum." He drawled, flitting his eye her way and then back again. Rin furrowed her brows at him.

"Hum?"

"Yeah. Konoha has this hum. I don't hear it anywhere else like here. I associate it with the sound life makes I suppose. It's like the sound of an electrical surge, or something to that effect. I don't really notice it when I'm here, but I miss the way it sounds when I'm out in the field." Kakashi's voice carried a tone of longing and wistfulness that Rin found strange coming from him.

"Why do you miss that? It seems like a weird thing to miss." She chuckled, hutching her shoulders a little as Kakashi dropped his sights to the banister. He shrugged dismissively after a moment of regarding the wood as he picked at stray splinters and flicked them to the ground. She had a feeling that there was a little more to what Kakashi seemed willing to give her.

"Tell me. I won't laugh, promise." She pipped coyly. Kakashi continued to scrape his fingernails along the grain of the wood. He shrugged again before he answered in an unusually quite voice. "It makes me feel lonely, I guess."

Rin felt her stomach twist a little as she regarded his blank expression. It wasn't a response she had expected from the notorious copy ninja. Although thinking about it, she wasn't sure what she had expected.

He was only human after all and it was within any normal person's nature to feel lonely, especially at times of war and mission faring. But Rin had never thought of Kakashi as a lonely person. He had always been a bit of a recluse, especially in his youth, much preferring his own company rather than that of others.

It went hand in hand with the stigma of a genius.

She still remembered her first encounters with Kakashi at the academy. He had always found it difficult to make friends, had problems relating to people his own age despite his indifference to the situation. She had felt sorry for him never-the-less and as time dragged onwards she had fell deeper and deeper under his spell. A spell that she doubted would ever be broken.

Kakashi turned towards her suddenly when she didn't respond to him, eyeing her over curiously, before shifting himself up on the fencing and crossing his legs.

"What else did you miss?" He asked quietly, scanning her face briefly as she studied his question. Grinning sheepishly. She glanced down at the paving stones at her feet. A fierce blush broke out like fever on her cheeks as she settled her eyes within his gaze once more. She wasn't about to lie to him. Perhaps now was the best time to tell him what he really wanted to hear. Kakashi usually made it quite obvious when he was digging for information, and it was more than clear that he was doing just that.

"You, mainly." She shrugged, catching the flash that crossed his eye as the words reached his ears.

"Me? Why?" He pressed. He sounded startled but it seemed that his curiosity was getting the better of him. Rin chuckled at him, turning away and facing the sky.

"Lot's of little reasons. I missed you a lot, I thought about you all the time; What you were doing, hoping you were alright… stupid." She felt her voice getting smaller and smaller as she tried to explain it to him, staring down at her hands with a desirable interest and clicking her finger nails together. She felt embarrassed to divulge in such personal information and found herself wishing that she hadn't.

"It's not stupid. It's nice to know that somebody cares." He stated softly. Rin shot him a sideways glance before turning to face him fully, a deep frown digging at her brow as a reaction to his revelation.

"Of course people care, Kakashi. Your team for one. Sure, they scream and bitch at you for being late all the time. But that doesn't mean they don't care about you. You need to learn to take people at face value. You may be a genius, but you're hardly a socialite. You don't have a clue!" Rin scolded, taking in his astonished stare. It was all true though, no matter how Kakashi chose to argue his point.

"Duly noted." He grumbled quietly which in turn stirred an uncomfortable sensation of guilt to swill in her gut. She sighed in slight aggravation, dragging a hand through her hair as she stepped towards him.

"Kakashi, I didn't mean it horribly. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I should start engaging my brain before I open my mouth, huh?" She soothed, placing her hand on his bare forearm and stroking at his warm skin tenderly. Rin half expected him to recoil from her touch, but he didn't, instead he flitted his eye about her face for a few seconds before nodding his head.

"It's alright. I know what I am, Rin." He muttered shamefully. Rin bit down on her lower lip as she spied the sorrowful glint in his onyx eye. It hadn't been her intention to hurt him in anyway shape or form, but it seemed that was exactly what she'd done. Mentally screaming at herself, telling her inner being how foolish she was for letting her mouth rule her head, Rin tightened her grip on his arm.

"No. Not a what, Kakashi. You really don't think very much of yourself do you?" She questioned, letting her arm drop back to her side and earning her another one of his wide-eye glances before he looked back down at the grasses of the beer garden. Spreading his arms out over the banister he bowed his head somewhat disgracefully and blew out a sigh. Rin felt awful, that horrid churning in the base of her gut making her feel nauseous. She had a really good knack of putting her foot in it sometimes.

"Kakashi, listen." She stated sternly, causing him to glance her way before lowering his head again. Her stomach twisted a little more, it had been a very long time since she had seen this side to him. And she didn't like it one bit. Knowing that his shift in temperament was down to her, it was now her duty to get him out of it. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him or ruin this wonderful night for both of them. But sometimes the hurtful truths led to deeper, happier ones.

"I'm not gonna mince words here. You used to be a really difficult person to get along with. You were spiteful, selfish, rude and obnoxious. And with good reason. But that doesn't mean that no one cared. Hell, I know I did. We just…" Rin hesitated, fighting with her mind to find the right words. Clenching her fists at her sides she bounced slightly on the spot before glancing at Kakashi and getting trapped in his gaze. Relaxing a little staring into his one onyx eye as it burned into her being she wet her dry lips, placing her hand over his.

"…we just didn't understand. It wasn't until I lost my parents when the demon fox attacked that I truly understood your pain." She soothed, running her thumb over the knuckles of his hand. She noticed his skin was a little dry under her touch, due to the scarring earned from numerous sparring matches and battles. She watched his stern expression around his eye soften a little at the mention of her parents, willing her to carry on with her story.

"When I was informed of their death, I was sad, distraught even. But most of all I was angry. The Gods had taken my family away from me, left me with nothing and I was so angry. I felt the world owed me something, you know?" She saw Kakashi nod his head slowly, his gaze dropping to their feet before meeting with hers. He knew, he knew how it felt.

"And I was so lonely. I felt totally lost, alone. It was awful. But I realised that…that I wasn't the only one out there. I didn't have to fight my inner battles on my own. All I had to do was reach out and I knew that someone would help me, if I needed them to." She finished her story with a slight smile as Kakashi lifted his fingers from the wood, allowing Rin to twine hers between them. Closing his hand around hers he tilted his head slightly to one side, studying her fingers as he rubbed his thumb over hers. The pad of his thumb was slightly calloused and rough against her skin, but it felt nice all the same.

"I remember that. I remember your tears. When you say you reached out… it was me that came running." He murmured, not once lifting his sights from their hands.

"You see? See what I mean?" She pipped with a swift nod of her head, stepping a little closer and placing her free hand on his arm, rubbing at the fabric gently as she smiled up at him. Kakashi nodded, if only a little, but it was all she needed for now, to know that he understood.

"Never think that you're on your own, Kakashi. Because you're not. Beneath this hard exterior of yours, you're a sweet, gentle person who just needs a little TLC from time to time. You're only trained to conceal your emotions, your fears from the enemy. There's nothing in that rule book that you followed so religiously that say's you can't share them with me."

She noticed at this point that she was whispering, she also noticed that she had crept a little closer during her speech and that fearful glint in Kakashi's eye had turned to something much deeper and hypnotising.

She continued to lose herself within the obsidian pool, unable to wrench her eyes away nor wanting to as he lifted his free hand and rested it under her chin. He ran the ball of his thumb over her lips, enticing her to part them slightly as her mind clouded over and the adrenaline began to rush through every inch of her body. She could feel herself quivering as he drew her closer, her senses, acting out with a will of their own succumbing to his invitation. She could do nothing to fight against it, she didn't want to fight against it. Her breath hitched in the base of her throat as Kakashi smoothed his hand from her chin and across the contours of her neck, brushing the stray locks of hair that lay on her shoulders towards the back of her head.

His touch was electrifying and sent shocks of heat souring through her core and causing that tangled knot of pleasure to uncoil in the base of her stomach.

He was going to kiss her. There was no doubt in her mind about that, he was going to kiss her and she wanted it, needed it desperately.

Rin closed her eyes, awaiting the eventual contact of his mouth on hers, concealed or not. That was until the volume of the club behind them increased dramatically when the glass doors clicked and swung open. Both of them reacted instantly, wrenching themselves away from each other and facing the garden before them. Rin seized the wooden railing with such force she could feel it straining in her grip as she stood shivering with the surge of frightful adrenaline pumping through her veins. Shooting a quick glimpse at Kakashi, he looked as cool as ever, simply leaning against the viewing gallery with that expressionless dullness in his eye.

"Hey, you two! The party's in here, are you commin' or what?" Squalled a disgruntled Genma from the doorway. Rin spun herself around, slamming her back against the banister and glared at the culprit that had so rudely interrupted the one moment she had been waiting most of her life for. Genma just stood there, both arms supporting himself against the wooden frame of the door as he chewed absently on his senbon. There was nothing Rin would have liked to do more in that moment than force the metal sliver down his throat.

Taking a deep controlled breath, more than aware that Kakashi was now gauging her actions, she put on the nicest smile she had as she began strolling towards the club.

"We're coming, Genma. Just came out for some fresh air." She ground out through clenched teeth. She sensed Kakashi follow suit as they were led into the heaving premises.

"Yeah, right…" Genma drawled somewhat knowingly as he arched a brow towards Kakashi before closing the doors behind him and following them to their seats.

The disdain began to settle in her stomach at that point. The moment was lost and there was no way she was ever going to get it back. Perhaps it was for the best that it didn't happen. Although Rin was indecisive whether kissing Kakashi could be the best thing to ever happen to her, or the worst mistake of her life… for now, she guessed that it was better that she didn't know.


	5. Listen to the Rain

_A.N. I'm so sorry again!! Things just aren't going to plan lately. I wrote this chapter in less two weeks after the publication of the last chapter. I worked really hard on it… but when I proof read it I found I was turning it into something far more complicated and heavier than it needed to be. So I started it again and I'm much happier with this result (Enter happy smiley fun time dance of joy here). Hence why it's taken me so long T_T. Enjoy while I sit back here and catch my breath… *pants*_

_Special thanks to Omizu (AKA Gentlewaterspirit). You seriously know how to turn my gears, honey!_

_Saph xxx_

* * *

_**Crossing Rubicon's**_

Naruto: Don't belong to me.

_**Chapter 4; Listen to the Rain.**_

o0o

Kakashi slouched in the padded booth, absently waving his suspended leg to the harsh base of the music that blared from the heavy set speakers near the dance floor. He stared into his glass seeking guidance from the dregs of lager that he swilled in his hand. The others were on the laminate flooring, shaking themselves ragged to the tunes that made little to no sense to him. Kakashi wasn't a music lover of sorts and despite Kurenai and Anko's objections he held absolutely no desire to dance to the noise either.

Rin had gone unusually quiet since they re-entered the club and Kakashi had no doubt that it was down to their near miss out on the patio. She had sat awkwardly and her gaze shifted unevenly and nervously whenever he had tried to spark conversation with her. Chances were that she was merely embarrassed about what had happened - or what didn't happen - outside. Her actual mood was irritatingly difficult to read. She showed neither anger nor sorrow which made his perception of the entire situation incredibly hard to rationalise and left him not knowing how to tread around her nor what to say. Kakashi usually had an answer for everything, but this time he had nothing which infuriated him further.

Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little foolish for letting his heart take control over his good sense. But her words had struck at cords like nothing else and he simply couldn't hold it in anymore; his need for her, his ultimate desire to touch her and for her to touch him, it was mind consuming and went against everything he had ever taught himself. He was being drawn in on a length of rope and he couldn't fight against it, although he found he didn't particularly want to which complicated the matter further.

He frowned into his extinguished drink and growled under his breath in mild annoyance, mainly at himself. He wanted to blame Genma, but he figured that he had saved them both from an unspeakable awkwardness that was bound to follow such a reckless act on his own part. What had he been thinking?! Why couldn't he get a grip on himself?! What the hell was wrong with him?!

"So, are you gonna tell me what was going on out there, or do I have to guess?" Came the brash and momentarily annoying voice that had crushed the moment he had wanted so desperately since laying eyes on the dark haired beauty again.

Kakashi merely shot him a sideways glance before returning his attention back to his glass. Kakashi wasn't in the mood for talking, or for Genma's games.

"Like that, huh? I take it I was interrupting something?" Genma continued nonchalantly and giving Kakashi a teasing nudge to his elbow. Kakashi felt his brow furrow at the question. It was none of his business what he and Rin were doing outside, and he held no desire to tell him either.

Genma was a good friend by all accounts but he certainly wasn't someone Kakashi would turn to in a time of crisis or as a mere shoulder to cry on. It wasn't in Kakashi's nature to seek advice from others anyway, if he could help it. He disliked not being able to handle situations under his own steam and he would handle this one regardless of the fact that he felt completely out of control of his actions.

"If you don't wanna tell me, that's fine, man. But it looks to me like there's something going on between you two."

Kakashi turned to face the senbon wielding busy body beside him and inspected his form briefly before returning his sights to his glass.

"Contrary to popular belief, there's nothing going on, Genma." He growled darkly, hoping that his response would shut him up but knowing full well that it wouldn't. Genma tittered as he reached for his own drink on the glossy table before slumping back into his chair and giving Kakashi another one of his playful nudges. The copy nin's patience was starting to wear thin at that point. He could now count three incidents where people - and ninken - had tried to meddle in his affairs and he was beginning to tire of it.

"Now I know you're lying. I saw what was going on out there, there's no use in denying it."

"What is it with people lately; trying to involve themselves in things that do not concern them? It's getting old." Kakashi snapped, reaching towards the table and crashing his glass on the polished surface. He sensed Genma recoil at the sudden movement as Kakashi folded his arms sharply across his chest and scowled at the table top.

"Uhm… because of _that_ I guess. You don't seem yourself, Kakashi. I'm just concerned is all." Genma replied warily. Kakashi exhaled sharply through his nostrils, feeling the fabric of his mask buckle with the force. True, he wasn't acting like himself, he certainly didn't feel like himself. His inner conflict between the rights and the wrongs were taking it's toll on his sanity. Rin had only been back mere days and already Kakashi felt like he was going crazy. Part of him wanted to pull her close, never letting go, never wanting to lose her again and the other part wanted her to just disappear so he could pretend the problem didn't exist at all. If he was to be completely honest with himself… Kakashi didn't know _what_ he wanted.

"Well, don't be. I've had too much to drink that's all. I'm bored and I'm tired and I don't want to be here. Anyway, I'm a big boy, Genma. I'm quite capable of looking after myself. I don't need your advice, nor do I want it, thank you." Kakashi huffed shuffling a little further into the booth.

That was only the part truth. He didn't want to be here; it was too hot and busy for his liking. And the smell; spilled cocktails, body odour and a distinct whiff of urine that blasted him in the face from time to time was confusing to his senses and a little nauseating.

Granted, he had an exceptional sense of smell making him able to pick out scents no ordinary human could, but that didn't stop the stench tying his guts in knots, and Kakashi had a strong stomach when all was said and done. As for the drinking part; Kakashi had not long finished his first. Although he wasn't against the ritual of socialised consumptions of toxic substances, he wasn't much of a drinker. He preferred to keep his inhibitions intact in a dignified manner. Alcohol didn't agree with him on such grounds. He knew that if he drank too much he would end up asleep at the table or flaunting himself in a way he wouldn't recall until the garbled flashbacks he was bound to experience the next day. No thanks.

"Well, if you hate it so much then why are you here, big guy?" Genma retorted, his sarcastic smile pulling at each corner of his mouth. Wasn't it obvious, already? He was here for Rin; he did everything for her as of late. But Kakashi wasn't about to dignify his Jounin friend with a response. He didn't need to. Kakashi was certain that his silence would be enough of an answer and sure enough the conversation didn't continue.

Before long, the tune had ceased it's mindless drone and the group began to gravitate back towards the table in a throng of giggles and linked arms. Kakashi's eyes were instantly drawn to Rin as she swayed with each step. Her shapely legs jutting from beneath the dark purple fringe of her dress swinging smoothly with each stride as the skin glistened in the spot lights. She was unbelievably sexy, she could be dressed in a potato sack and he would still find her dangerously attractive. How he wanted those legs wrapped around his waist in a passionate embrace was a thought that made his mouth water, and his senses tingle. He was long past thinking how wrong his impure thoughts about his former team mate were. But that was the way he was intending to keep them. The thoughts themselves were harmless; no one need know about them. It was the actions that were deadly. Kakashi had no intentions of acting upon them, and he had found himself wishing he had kept himself under control out in the beer garden. The conflict he was facing now was how he would get out of it. He had hurt her before, the last thing he wanted to do was repeat it all again.

Everyone took their seats within the padded booth, all apart from Rin who stood precariously at the head of the table.

"Well, it's my round. Same again, everyone?" She chirped with a slight shrug to her shoulders. Everyone at the table nodded and grumbled their agreement on the drink order as Rin nodded quickly and swiftly disappeared into the crowd. Kakashi allowed his eyes to follow her into the masses before the voices at the table distracted him from his train of thought.

"Is she going to manage all those drinks on her own?" Kurenai asked giving the men of the table a disapproving glance. Gai suddenly got to his feet, hands on his hips as he puffed out his chest proudly.

"I will go and help our beautiful maiden." He boasted with that triumphant grin of his, seeming that he was somewhat desperate to get away from the group. Kakashi hauled himself out of the booth at that point, he didn't like the idea of Gai muscling in on a job that was rightfully his, despite his own want of avoiding any kind of confrontation with Rin, as he was sure that one was about to rear it's ugly head.

"No, I'll go." He stated flatly, watching with a mild satisfaction as Gai's beaming smile fell into a confused scowl before he set himself back into his seat. Kakashi couldn't fight against the smirk that was forming on his lips, lucky for him that he had the means to conceal it. There was nothing more satisfying than getting one over on his so called _eternal rival_, and Kakashi relished in the moment each time an opportunity to do so came his way. That was what rivalry was all about; scoring points.

Turning swiftly on his heel Kakashi began to make his own way through the crowd, knocking the odd party goer out of the way just to make a path for himself. Of course his responses was laced with apologies of the feigned kind but that was okay. He didn't know these people, not on a personal level anyway. Kakashi was certain that the people in the club had been knocked around quite a few times since entering.

Finally reaching the bar area he was dismayed to find that it too was littered with bodies, all milling around and dancing to the vile tunes they insisted on playing in these types of places. Kakashi halted in his steps and took quick sporadic glances over the crowd. All his vision allowed him to see was a vast ocean of heads and chakra focus was out of the question. Most if not all of these people were ninja of some rank or another. All of them would have some sort of chakra signal and with the amount of alcohol that was being consumed within the premises it would be next to impossible to zone in on Rin with the erratic signals he would receive from everyone else around him.

Kakashi took one more look over the sea of people when he spotted a distinctive sheen of auburn hair and a flash of purple beneath as the bearer seemed to hoist her herself from the floor and onto the bar itself. Possibly hoping to gain a better viewing of the cabinet to the rear.

Kakashi sauntered over and forced himself between her and a random man that was currently eyeing her up like a door prize, his eyes clouded over as he seemed to mentally undressing her. The copy nin recognised the young offender; a newly recruited Special Jounin. He didn't know his name and right at this moment in time he didn't much care as he began to make his own stature known. Kakashi glowered at the man as he rested his elbow firmly on the counter top, blocking Rin from view and gave him a stern look that only fellow males would understand; _Back off, she's mine!_

Kakashi disliked using such body language with his fellow man, but sometimes needs must and he had no intentions of letting any one else get under Rin's skin, no matter how subtle they may be. He had never thought himself the jealous type… until tonight. The situation had never come up before so it wasn't something he had really thought about. The young man took Kakashi's message to heart as he glumly turned his attention to one of the pretty bar girls, run off their feet with the amount that were ordering, which in turn set Kakashi's mind at ease, if only a little. He leaned a little towards Rin who seemingly hadn't noticed him yet.

"The guys thought you might need a little help. They fear your weedy arms won't take the weight" He chortled into her ear, earning him a little jump of surprise. Her nervous stature never got old, it was always a joy to take her by surprise. He pondered if she was just as sensitive in the bedroom and made no attempt to stop the imagery entering and dominating his mind.

As his words seemed to sink in he watched her shoulders stiffen as deep scowl settled into her pretty face. She snapped her head round suddenly and shot him a distasteful look before leaning towards him. Kakashi followed suit, lining his ear up with her mouth in order to hear. Even with his own impeccable hearing, the noise in the building distorted any noise near by, making the art of conversation next to impossible.

"Who are you calling weedy, Stretch?!" She squawked into his ear. Kakashi couldn't help but laugh at that. She had so affectionately named him _Stretch _many years ago during his dreaded period in puberty. He was all height and no muscle. He would freely admit that now, although he was surprisingly self conscious of it in his youth. She knew it bothered him so she had tried to make light of it despite his objections to it.

Kakashi backed away slightly to regain his position on the counter, eyeing over the selections of brightly coloured bottles they held on display in the cabinets behind the bar. They all looked quite tasty and rather toxic but mixing drinks was never a good idea. That was how one would find themselves sleeping outside on a bench and covered in ones vomit. Never a good way to end the night.

He felt a slight tug on his shoulder prompting him to turn his attention back to Rin who looked up at him dolefully. Kakashi furrowed his brow at the expression before he leaned in, allowing his nose to absorb the sweet floral fragrance of her hair. Everything about her was so intoxicating; it took a great deal of will power to regain his focus.

"Haven't you been served yet?" He asked, moving away to gauge her reaction to the question. She shook her head briskly before tugging on his arm again impatiently and waving her hand at him to motion him closer. Kakashi leaned in again instinctively, relishing in the electrifying sensation that ran through him as her lips accidentally brushed against his ear.

"We are okay, aren't we?" She asked quietly. Kakashi felt her grip on his arm tighten considerably as he tried to move away, forcing him to keep his awkward stance as he tried to gauge her question. He turned his head slightly before replying.

"Is there a reason why we shouldn't be?"

"Because of… you know… Outside?" She all but whispered coyly.

Kakashi felt himself hesitate as Rin moved away and glanced up at him with those watery dark eyes. Seemed that they both wanted the same thing; an easy life. Goodness knows what could have happened if he had actually kissed her.

He noticed that she was still holding on to his arm, her thumb rubbing random circles into the fabric of his shirt. Kakashi chanced a quick glance at her hand before focusing on her face again. Rin's mouth quirked a little at the corner in a haphazard yet failed smile. She was so beautiful it tore him up inside, why she was still single was completely baffling, it made no sense to him. Had circumstances been very different, he would have claimed her as his own a long time ago.

She was wearing a little makeup around the eyes, not much. Just a smidge of lilac around the lids and mascara on her lashes but it accentuated the sparkle in her eyes making it impossible to break contact with her. She was mesmerising.

"What about it?" He answered eventually with a feeble shrug. There wasn't a lot that he could say about the ordeal, what could he say? That it didn't mean anything when it did? That he was acting on impulses brought on by too much alcohol when it was a blatant lie? It didn't matter what he said, he was going to hurt her either way… He could tell her the truth; that he wanted her but couldn't bring himself to betray his dead friend, but to him that sounded worse than the lie.

Rin glanced away momentarily as she tucked a long lock of hair behind her ear, allowing her delicate yet deadly fingers to linger before redirecting her gaze back to him. She smiled up at him with a warming glow to her cheeks as she patted the side of his arm, breaking the contact on his skin and leaving him feeling a little exposed in the crowd.

"It doesn't matter. We're still friends though, right? I mean it was only a kiss. Sorry, was _almost_ a kiss." She corrected with a coy giggle. Kakashi found himself nodding back with a slight smile despite the blinding scream in his head that tried to tell him different. It wasn't _just_ a kiss, wasn't _just_ a simple near miss due to too much booze. It wasn't spur of the moment… he had wanted that more than he should and he found that he liked it. Never the less, it was for the best that they nipped it in the bud before it all got out of hand.

"Sure we are, Rin." He replied solemnly as one of the bar girls approached them and dragged Rin's attention away from him. As Rin stood barking her drink order at the young blonde behind the counter Kakashi reflected on their brief exchange of words. Perhaps there was nothing there, maybe he had looked too far into the mixed signals that Rin had been giving him since the day she had simply waltzed back into his life. He had never craved normality like he did right now. All he wanted was for the problem to go away but there was no easy fix and he knew it.

He absently noticed the young bar girl nod her head and stalk away from the counter to obtain Rin's order. Glancing back down at her, Rin was looking back with a flirtatious glint in her eye.

"What?" Kakashi deadpanned somewhat wearily. Her grin widened a little as she pulled at one of the tall bar stools behind her and parked her self on it carefully.

"I just remembered something, you were telling me, outside, how pretty I was. Care to continue with that conversation?" She purred, gently placing her elbow on the bar and resting her cheek in her hand, her eyes glinting in the spot lights. Kakashi turned his back on the glossy serving station and propped himself against it, crossing his arms and arching his brow at her.

"I don't recall such a conversation." He answered sceptically as he shook his head a little. Regardless, he frantically searched the archives of his memory to find this lost snippet of vital information. Rin pouted seductively as she adjusted herself on her seat, crossing her legs over as she hummed a small chuckle at him.

"Hmm. You said; _a pretty thing like you shouldn't be out here all by herself._ I like compliments, you know."

* * *

"So, did you find out what was going on or what?" Anko bit out, leering over the table and giving Genma a wonderful view of her cleavage as her breasts all but spilled out of her rather revealing tank top. Genma's eyes were drawn instantly towards the soft delicious mounds before he heard her clear her throat. He shifted his gaze to hers to see her staring back with an obvious glower of venom hanging in her pale eyes.

"Not really." He answered eventually and prompting a loud groan to erupt around the table as each member of the party slumped in their seats in defeat.

"Well we had no luck with Rin either. Each time I mentioned Kakashi you could literally see the shutters in her eyes come crashing down!" Kurenai interjected as she took a sophisticated sip of her cocktail. Genma shrugged as he leaned back into the booth.

"It's not like it's anything to do with us, anyway. You know what Kakashi's like; if he don't wanna tell, he won't." He replied flatly, picking up his own almost extinguished drink and knocking back the contents into his mouth with a swift flick of his wrist. He knew he had a point and he hated being told to talk to his old friend about things that he knew Kakashi would see as personal.

Kakashi wasn't a talker, never had been and never will be. Why the girls assumed the copy nin would bare his soul to him was completely ludicrous. He had told them as much, as had Gai. The Green Beast wasn't vindictive in nature and despite his and Kakashi's rivalry he respected his opponent's privacy making him unwilling to take part in the silly matchmaking game that the females wanted to play. Gai merely sat next to Anko, swilling his drink in his hand and shaking his head.

"But there's something going on! You had to have seen the tension between them when you fetched them back from the garden! You could cut it with a blunt kunai!" Anko squalled almost angrily, crossing both her arms and legs in frustration.

"Guy's, just leave 'em alone! Rin's only been back a few days, just give her and Kakashi some space, yeah? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if they were butting into your business!" Genma retorted, snatching his glass from the table and getting to his feet. Genma liked to think that he and Kakashi had a strong friendship and he disliked talking about his friends in such a way, especially when they weren't there to defend themselves.

He knew there was something going on between Rin and the copy nin regardless of Kakashi's denial. He was also more than aware that he had interrupted something quite personal between the two of them when he had gone in search of them both. He wished he hadn't interrupted them, but he had already opened the door and started talking before his brain had realised what was happening. He had seen the near kiss and he had also seen the look of raw hatred on Rin's face when they had walked back in. Genma had felt quite stupid for not reacting sooner and just leaving them to it.

Even despite his dislike for what Anko and Kurenai were trying to do, he knew it wasn't malicious, they had his best interests at heart. But Genma also felt strongly that these things had a way of working themselves out; without people trying to interfere.

Kakashi had never had a _real_ girlfriend, had never been in a relationship that meant anything to him anyway. There were girls out there that were interested and he had shown them a good time but Kakashi was one of those people that simply could not handle the commitment. Or at least that's what everyone thought of him. Genma knew different however, it wasn't that he was afraid to commit, he just hated complications. Kakashi liked things simple and straight forward, complications were for battle and that was that.

It was sad really, when he thought about it. Kakashi was a decent guy, yet his reputation with women displayed him as anything but that. But it seemed that he cared a lot for Rin and it was painfully obvious that he was severely attracted to her. What man in his right mind wouldn't be? She was gorgeous in every sense of the word. She was funny, witty, pretty and she had a wrack to die for. It was a wonder Kakashi could keep his hands to himself when he was around her. Hell, if Kakashi had shown any signs of not being interested in her, Genma would have tried his luck. But he was certain that even despite such a thing, it would be more than his life's worth. Kakashi disliked guys going near Sakura whom he saw as a sister figure. Goodness knows how he would react if someone ever made a move on Rin. Kakashi was fiercely protective in nature and dangerously territorial, although the copy nin would never admit it. Most that knew him made sure to never step on his toes if they could help it.

Genma sauntered towards the bar, skimming his way through the meandering folks that stood about the bar area. He knew Kakashi and Rin were supposed to be placing the next orders but Genma couldn't stand to be around the others when all they did was gossip about his buddy. He wanted no part in it, so the best course of action was to remove himself from the situation entirely.

He approached the glossy counter, pushed his way through another small group of people and planted his arms across it. He would get a small drink just to give Kakashi and Rin enough time to get back to the table. They had to have been served by now and there was no way the others would interrogate them further about their so called relationship. He looked across the width of the bar, once to his left and once to his right. The bar was cluttered with people, some he vaguely recognised others he didn't. That was no surprise; Konoha was a big village and the number of ninja being churned out of the academy these days was frightening.

Genma was about to turn back towards the bar as he waited to be tended to by one of the young lovelies serving the masses when he saw a familiar flash of silver jutting over the crowd. He propped himself up on the bar to gain a better view and saw Kakashi gazing down at what could only be a woman. She had her back to Genma but it was clear by the slight hem of purple he was able to glimpse beneath the shoulder blades that it was Rin. Kakashi was leaning against the bar, his elbow perched on the polished wood, resting his head in his hand.

His exposed eye was creased a little in the corner by what Genma could gather which implied that the copy nin was smiling while his other hand twirled quite oddly in the air on the other side of Rin's head. Genma leaned over a little more squinting his eyes in a feeble attempt to help him focus better.

A thick lock of glossy brown hair was suspended in mid air from the top of Rins head and as Genma trailed it with his eyes he saw that it was wrapped around Kakashi's hand as he played it in his fingers. Kakashi was playing with Rin's hair.

"Nothing going on, eh? You lying bastard." Genma muttered to himself with a sly smirk pulling at each corner of his mouth. Genma had been out with Kakashi before, he had seen him around a lot of women and while they had pretty much fallen all over him, Kakashi had always remained cool and somewhat uninterested. Never before had he actually seen his formidable friend flirt like he was doing right now.

He could tell by the movement of Rins head that it was her that was currently speaking, slight flashes of flesh appearing in front of her as she moved her hands in some kind of demonstration. It was irritating not being able to hear what she was saying over the rabble of the crowd and the sheer volume of the music.

Kakashi's eye pinched closed as he leaned forward slightly, both his and Rin's shoulders jerking in an obvious fit of laughter. It was good to see him enjoying himself for a change. Kakashi rarely liked to _let himself go._ But it seemed tonight was a good night for just that and it seemed that the return of one of his oldest friends was doing him the world of good.

* * *

Kakashi opened his eyes to the loud clicking of the bedroom door and the distinctive creaking of floorboards as his female guest ventured into the lounge. Groaning loudly, Kakashi stretched his arms above his head and turned onto his back, feeling each and every joint in his body click back into place. He rested his forearms over his eyes as he listened to Rin's bare feet slap against the hard wood flooring as she walked across the room; probably going to the bathroom.

"What time is it?" He grumbled.

"Friday…" She choked out. Kakashi lifted his arms and frowned at her answer before chuckling under his breath and sitting up, draping an arm over the back of the sofa.

"Oh dear. Hung-over are we?" He teased, giving the back of his head a good scratch, dislodging the knots that gathered in his hair over night. He looked over at Rin who was looking back at him as she propped herself up against the doorframe of the kitchenette. She was a pitiful sight to say the very least. Her hair was dishevelled and all over the place, part of it was still plastered to one side of her face and her normally sparkly dark eyes were sunken and sickly. Even with her ill appearance she still looked rather lovely in her thin silken yellow bathrobe. She looked just as sexy in that as she did in her dress the night before. He secretly hoped that she was naked beneath the long glossy fabric, just to give his mind something to play with.

"Bet you wouldn't kiss me now would you?" She bit out, her features miserable and down trodden. The statement took Kakashi by surprise. He recalled the incident in the beer garden, but it had all been a mishap, a miscount in the senses, and Kakashi hadn't really given it much thought after discussing it with her while at the bar. Seemed to him that Rin had thought about it a lot more than he had.

"Sorry, what?" He stuttered, not quite thinking clearly about what he was saying. He didn't think it was a good idea to discuss what had happened the night before right now, anyway. Rin was obviously feeling worse for wear and Kakashi's memory was a little hazy at best. He didn't feel how Rin looked, but he certainly knew he had drank more than his usual quota, which wasn't really like him if he thought about it.

Rin winced a little as she planted the palm of her hand over her forehead.

"My head feels like it's full of boiling oil…" She whined.

"I have no sympathy for you." Kakashi snickered, raising his arm and planting his cheek in his hand. Rin shot him a look that told him he would be paying for that remark towards the end of the day. Even so, the expression made him smile and hum a chuckle at her.

"Want me to make breakfast? Best cure for a hang-over like yours is something fatty, helps soak up all the toxins." Kakashi drawled lazily into his hand. He watched Rin raise her head slowly and gaze at him with wide eyes as she processed the information. Her already pale skin began to drain in colour and take on an almost sickly green shade before she suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh God… I'm gonna throw up!" She spluttered, pushing her self from the door frame and sprinting into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The distinctive sound of retching and splashing bodily fluids echoed through the room as Kakashi threw himself back into his makeshift bed with a disdainful groan. Today was not going to be fun by any stretch of the imagination.

"I'll take that as a no then…" He grunted, resuming his foetal position on the sofa and wrenching the covers back over his head. Staying right here was the best idea he'd had all morning.

He must have dozed off by the time Rin emerged from the bathroom. He opened his eyes to the sofa jolting him backwards as Rin plopped herself down on the battered cushions. Hutching himself up on the arm he allowed her to get purchase on the dilapidated sofa.

"How are you feeling now?" He croaked, rubbing his sharingan eye with the hook of a finger. Popping his other eye open he watched Rin shrug, somewhat dismissively as she turned to face him glumly.

"A little better, I think… I'll let you know. I swear I'm never drinking again." She grumbled as she leaned back into Kakashi's legs. He had no intentions of moving, he didn't feel particularly ill, but he didn't have the energy it required to shift himself out of the way. Not that he needed to, he was comfortable with Rin. As she was with him. They had spent many times sitting together like this like some friends do, or even siblings. That latter thought made Kakashi shudder inwardly. To think of Rin as a sister wasn't the best idea…

"So, the plan for today is to sit here and rot?" He asked flatly. The idea didn't seem half bad, but there wasn't a great deal to do within the small confines of his apartment; becoming bored was imminent. Rin nodded with a slight grin creasing at the corner of her mouth as she turned her attention back to the floor.

"Pretty much… but I gotta go out in a bit." She croaked.

"What for?"

"You've ran out of milk, and there's no food that could make a proper meal in the whole place. Don't you ever go grocery shopping? I'm surprised you're as fit as you are with all the crap you eat." Rin ground out, giving him a hard slap on his shoulder and a discontented scowl.

"What are you, my health advisor?" Kakashi retorted before leaning forward sharply and wrenching the covers from beneath Rin's backside and forcing her to stand up.

"What was that for?" She squealed , thrusting her fists into her hips as Kakashi pulled the bed clothes over his shoulders, throwing his head back into the pillow.

"Because you're picking on me again." He grumbled, finding it hard to hide the giggles in his voice. He knew Rin was right; his diet consisted mainly of pot ramen and easy meals that required no effort. He lacked essential nutrients in his diet that he knew for a man of his physical stability and age should really invest in. But with a hectic lifestyle like his own it was difficult to find the time to prepare a decent meal, especially when there was only him to feed. It just seemed like a waste of effort.

"Stop being a baby, Kakashi. It doesn't suit you. And I'm not picking on you! But you gotta admit, you don't eat like you should. Ramen on the go and packet noodles isn't really substantial when that's all you eat." Her voice had took a sympathetic turn, which aggravated him a little. Kakashi frowned at her but didn't dignify her with a response. Regardless she smiled at him before getting to her feet and sauntering around the back of the sofa.

"That's why I'm going to get dressed, go to the grocery market and make you a proper meal." She pipped happily, folding her arms over the back of the sofa. Kakashi looked her over sceptically as he shuffled into the lumpy cushions. If she thought he was going with her then Rin had another thing coming.

"Why would you want to do that?" He droned flatly. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the offer, but no one had ever offered to cook for him before. Rin rolled her eyes at him and sighed heavily as she shook her head.

"Because you deserve it! Kakashi, when was the last time you had a home cooked meal? Restaurants don't count by the way." She retorted. Kakashi looked away briefly as he tried to think of the last time someone had actually placed food they had cooked themselves before him. A small snippet came to him; a young woman with deep red hair and a familiar gift for seeing the good in everyone came to mind.

"Kushina-sama used to cook for me a lot…" He muttered. He sensed Rin recoil at the mention of their dead sensei's wife. Rin knew that he had spent a lot of time with Minato-Sensei in his childhood, but he was uncertain if she knew how he had felt about them. They had become his family, had taken him in when he needed a shoulder to cry on. And he never had the chance to tell either of them how grateful he was for their hospitality. He looked up at Rin, who was inspecting him curiously as she seemed to wait for him to continue with his recollection.

"When Dad died I used to go there a lot when I wasn't training. I'd help out with small stuff, like washing the dishes and helping Kushina-sama in the garden, and she used to make me dinner. I guess it helped ease the boredom. Heh, I had a bit of a crush on her, I think…" Kakashi absently noted the drop of volume in his voice as he recalled his childish fantasies about Minato-Sensei's significant other.

He recalled garbled dreams of holding her hand and memories of her ruffling his hair with a motherly affection he had craved for as long as he could remember. The memory was bitter sweet but regardless his boyish crush, Kushina had been the mother he never really knew. She had cared for him in a way no one else had and she never judged him like others had done back then. She simply took him in and he enjoyed her company as he hoped, in her short life, that she had enjoyed his, despite his age at the time. He heard Rin giggle which dragged him from his own thoughts.

"You? You had a crush on Kushina-sama? Kakashi, that's adorable!" She chuckled. Kakashi frowned at her comment. Kakashi had been called a lot of things over the years but adorable wasn't one of them and he wasn't entirely sure whether he liked it or not.

"Hey, I was seven years old. Don't judge me!" He snapped back which seemed to feed her laughter. But it didn't matter, Kakashi liked it when she laughed, her laugh was infectious and made her cheeks glow with a heavenly warmth that only she seemed able to radiate, She was amazing…

As her chortles died down, Rin wiped a tear from her eye with a satisfied sigh before looking down at him again with a fondness he recalled from her youth. She hadn't used the expression with him since returning to Konoha, as far as he recalled but it was one she had always used back in the day when they reminisced.

"So, it's been a while then since someone cooked for you?" She asked softly, tilting her head to one side and resting her cheek on her forearm. Kakashi shrugged at her before he nodded.

"Well, I'll soon change that! I already have a recipe in mind." She chirped, pushing herself up from the sofa and wandering towards the bedroom.

"What are we having then?" Kakashi called after her. He watched her turn her head which sent her glossy locks of auburn hair spilling over her shoulders. She was so tantalising without even knowing it.

"Chunky eggplant miso soup with tofu. Sound good to you?"

"You know that's one of my favourites, Rin."

"I know. I remember these things. That's why I'm awesome."

* * *

Kakashi had to hand it to her, Rin had never really shown him any indication that she could cook. But if this was the quality of her craft then he would happily dine on her dishes everyday. The smell of the soup that had drifted into the lounge had been simply divine and the taste truly lived up to Kakashi's high expectations of what was his favourite dish. They both sat and ate at a small low set calligraphy table that had once belonged to his father. The table was one of the only keepsakes he had taken with him when leaving the family home. It didn't mean anything particularly sentimental but it came in useful for occasions much like this one.

"I didn't even know you could cook, Rin." Kakashi murmured around a mouthful of tofu as he lifted the small bowl to his lips and continued to shovel the warm soup into his mouth like he would never eat again. He heard Rin giggle bashfully on the other side of the low-rise table. Peering over the rim of his bowl, Kakashi looked her over habitually. Her hangover hadn't lasted long and she had perked up and returned to her former, happy self before the morning was out. It seemed that the fresh air had done her some good.

"Neither did I really. I learned a lot of recipes from my sensei in Lightening. They have some delicious native foods over there but I figured that a classic dish would be my best choice if cooking for you. I know how fussy you are about food." She replied, spooning the mixture to her lips in a far more dignified and delicate manner. "Oh, and I haven't made a dessert just in case you were wondering. I remembered that your taste buds are broken." She continued with a sarcastic smile.

Kakashi paused mid scoop and regarded the comment. So he wasn't fond of sweet things, how did that make him abnormal? Lowering his bowl a little, swallowing what he was currently chewing he glowered at her as she hovered her spoon above her meal.

"I resent that remark. There's nothing wrong with my taste buds, thank you very much." He retorted which caused Rin to sigh and roll her eyes.

"I was joking!" She chortled. Kakashi grunted in response as he went back to shovelling the soup into his mouth and relishing in the delightful warm sensation in his gullet as the mixture slithered down his throat.

He slurped the dregs of the soup out of the bowl and chewed delightfully on the last piece of eggplant as he set his bowl down on the small table and dropping the deep spoon into it. Rin glanced at Kakashi's empty bowl before glancing up at him in astonishment.

"Well, I take it you enjoyed that then? I don't think I've ever seen you eat so fast!" Rin giggled, swirling her spoon in the cloudy mixture. Kakashi hummed a small chuckle as she sat herself back down on her cushion.

"If you think that was fast then you've seen nothing. Sakura, Sasuke _and _the Hokage can vouch for that." Kakashi deadpanned, leaning back a little and planting his hands behind him. Rin arched a brow at him as she took another mouthful of her delicious chunky soup.

"You'll give yourself heartburn doing things like that. You should savour your meals. Not only does it taste better but it's healthier to do so. Gorging stretches the stomach you know." She scolded. Kakashi rolled his eyes at her. He had never been too fond of her scolding him, but that was just Rin. She always knew better when it came to things about general health.

"Do you enjoy chastising me, Rin?" Kakashi droned flatly. Rin glanced up from her bowl just as she was about to take another mouthful of her meal. She paused for a moment before setting her spoon back into her bowl and gave him a sly smirk that pulled at the corner of her mouth and made her eyes appear darker and a little flirtatious.

"Why? Do you like it?" She replied darkly. Her response took him off guard, be it only for a split second. Rin's nature had become very promiscuous - albeit in an innocent sense - since the last time he had seen her a decade ago. Kakashi found that he quite liked this darker side to her. Although she only showed it in snippets and usually in response to something he either said or did it made him look at her in a different light. Leaning over the table a little, Kakashi rested his elbow on the dulled surface and gazed back at her.

"I might. But I prefer to be the one doing the scolding."

"Whips and chains, you mean?"

"Not necessarily. I usually start with a question."

"What kind of question?"

"That depends on who I'm talking to."

He watched Rin look away briefly as she seemed to ponder what she should say next. Kakashi knew where this conversation was heading, he had already planned it out with all the possible outcomes and consequences to what he wanted to ask her. He had wondered if he would be taking things a little too far for his own good but he simply couldn't resist testing his boundaries with her now that he had discovered this wonderful flirtatious side that she had never shown him before. She had given him a wonderful perspective of her enticing new persona the night previous and he had every intention of exploiting it.

Twisting her lips together thoughtfully, Rin flitted her eyes back to his as she sat back on the floor and seemed to brace herself before she spoke.

"Well, ask me something then." She demanded, her expression almost blank aside from a slight sparkle of anticipation that danced in her eyes. Kakashi felt his smirk widen a little as his plan began to unfold before him.

"Okay, what kind of question would you prefer?" He asked nonchalantly, eyeing her over for any kind of shift in body language. Rin shrugged at him her eyes widening a little.

"I don't know. Ask me anything." She replied almost impatiently as she scooped another spoonful of soup into her dainty mouth.

Kakashi hummed at her as he thought of the best way to word his question. There would be no nice way to put it and seeing as Rin knew him better than anyone else in the whole of Konoha he figured that asking her straight out would be the best course of action. He wouldn't get the reaction he wanted from her if he tried to put it nicely.

"Tell me, Rin. When you masturbate in my bed, do you think about me?" Kakashi purred, leaning himself over the small table, planting his elbows on its surface and resting his chin on the backs of his hands. Rin's eyes bugged in shock while she started to struggle swallowing her food, almost to the point of choking. She coughed and spluttered at the head of the small table, pounding at her chest as she doubled over. Kakashi merely sat and waited for her to calm down, with an inane grin that he couldn't fight against. After a moment or two, her chokes began to calm as she pointed her wide eyes at him.

"What?! What kind of question was that?! I do _not_ masturbate!" Rin squealed eventually, her voice trembled as she spoke and her expression reeked of amazement. Kakashi hummed a chuckle at her as he sat himself back on the floor. He knew she would say something like that.

"Well you should, it's very stimulating." He deadpanned, that sly smirk of his dominating the use of his mouth. Rin just sat there arching a brow at him, her face frozen in a scowl of disbelief until she shook her head and scoffed at him.

"Really? Just because _your_ right hand happens to be your best friend doesn't mean that everyone does that kind of thing." She retorted, snatching at her spoon and pointing at him accusingly with it before resuming with the consumption of her meal. Kakashi wondered if she was aware of how tantalising her eating habits were as he observed the way her lips glided over the spoon; everything she did recently gave him hints of sexual innuendoes. He doubted Rin was conscious of her little mannerisms, she was too innocent and coy, but that didn't make her actions any less appealing. If anything it turned him on more to think that she didn't even know about her effect on him. He would certainly be using this imagery for his own entertainment in the future.

"You know, Rin. I quite like the idea of a woman who pleasures herself. It shows that she's in tune with the sexual needs of her body." Kakashi teased and relishing in the deep scowl she shot at him from across the table as well as the obviously unintended smattering of deep crimson that was now developing on her face and racing down her neck.

"Are you deaf, or just plain stupid? I. Do. Not. _Pleasure_. Myself! Now drop it, will you?!" Her tone was becoming impatient and hostile which meant that Kakashi was touching a rather raw nerve. Rin turned her attention back to her food as she began playing at it and twisting her mouth distastefully. They both sat in silence for a few moments as Kakashi regarded her form, mentally peeling away at her clothing, desperate to get to the supple warm flesh beneath. Her attitude towards the subject was overly defensive and he was more than aware that her anger was a way to shield her embarrassment, but this little factor didn't stop him wanting to press the matter further. Getting a rise out of her was quite entertaining.

"I know you're lying, Rin." He whispered eventually. He watched her eyes widen dramatically again as her entire body went rigid. That deep red flush returned to her cheeks as quickly as it had before as she hastily removed herself and her unfinished meal from the small table and pointed at Kakashi's empty bowl.

"You done with this?" She murmured quickly, avoiding all eye contact with him which only confirmed his earlier statement. Before he had the chance to answer, Rin had scooped the bowl into her hand and swiftly made her escape into the kitchen. Kakashi got to his feet and followed her as he heard her dropping the bowls into the metal sink.

Kakashi propped himself against the kitchenette as he observed Rin make chancing glances towards him.

"Why are you embarrassed, Rin? I'm not."

"You're a man… it's different."

"Why is it?"

"Because guys have this habit of boasting about it! It's supposed to be a private thing! Not something to show off to your friends!" Rin's voice was bordering annoyance as she turned to glower at him. Kakashi chuckled at her which caused her to give him yet another one of her disapproving glances.

"I don't broadcast it, if that's what you mean. But I have no reason to feel bashful about it. Masturbation is quite a natural, healthy act to partake in. As a medic-nin you should already know this." He deadpanned while idly examining his fingernails. He heard her blow out a sigh as she shut off the faucet and began rummaging in the sink.

"Yes well, I do already know that. But that doesn't mean that I particularly want to talk about it. Not to you of all people." She grumbled, focusing her visual attention to her task at hand.

"Ah, so you admit it then?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't deny it."

"What's it to you anyway?!"

"I'm just curious, that's all."

"Curiosity killed the cat, you know."

"Well, it's a good job I'm human then, isn't it?"

He saw a faint essence of a smirk tug at the corner of her mouth as she shook her head, lifting one of the bowls out of the basin and placing it carefully on the draining board.

"What about the other part to my question?" Kakashi asked as Rin plunged her hands back into the steaming water. She stopped dead for a second as she seemed to search her memory banks before she turned her head and inspected him curiously.

"What're you talking about now?"

"I wanted to know if you fantasised about me while you touch yourself."

"Why? Do you think about me?"

"All the time."

"You're such a liar. All you think about is that woman in those dirty stories. You forget that I know you better than you give me credit for Hatake Kakashi!"

Kakashi hummed a chuckle at her assumption, knowing that once upon a time it was actually true. But his admittance of Rin playing a part in his sexual fantasies, although stated in jest were also fact. Not that he would confirm it. He liked to think that he was happy the way things were. But the more he thought about it the more it tortured him. Was it such a bad thing that he found her attractive? Was there actually a possibility that she felt the same about him after all these years? He secretly hoped so…

* * *

"No! Kakashi don't just cram it in there like that!! You'll break it!" Rin squawked at a miffed looking copy ninja as he commenced in his battle for knowledge. That was men all over; just keep prodding at things until something happens or it breaks. Why Rin thought it would be a good idea to let Kakashi help in the setting up of the TV was beyond her.

The day had started off quite oddly. Her first port of call had been to the bathroom, hoping that Kakashi was actually still sleeping, which it seemed he had been. The fact that he had all but confirmed that he knew she masturbated was completely humiliating. She recalled the night previous that Kakashi descended from a clan of trackers, Kakashi himself one of the best in this field. Equipped with inhuman senses such as an exceptional sense of smell it was no wonder she had been found out. She must stink of sex in the mornings afterwards. And there was no way she was willing to admit to him that he played a vital part in her fantasies, had done for as long as she could remember. He didn't need to know that and she certainly didn't want him to know either. That was her private business and she was quite adamant that it would be kept between her and her own brain.

She would make sure from that point onwards that Kakashi's bed was for nothing other than for sleeping and she made sure to completely strip the bed and send it to the Laundromat before he got any more of his "bright idea's".

He hadn't mentioned it again, which was a relief and there was no way she would be broaching the subject with him either. She could have done without his admittance to his own sexual acts in the dark hours as they swirled and tormented her in her dreams. The mental images of Kakashi doing unspeakable things to himself was burnt into her brain and now there was no way of relieving the unbearable pressure between her legs each time her vicious mind decided to show them to her.

Shaking her head in annoyance Rin reached for the cable in Kakashi's hands and snatched it away from him with an impatient sigh.

"You're such a technophobe! You're supposed to be the smart one!" She snapped, getting to her feet and sauntering to the rear of the wide screen.

"Why do we need a TV, Rin? Am I not good enough company anymore?" Kakashi deadpanned as he picked up a cable tie from the pile on the hard wood flooring and manipulated it in his fingers. Rin peered at him over the top of the television as she watched in subtle amazement how he played with the scrap of rubber coated metal like it was the most interesting thing in the world. For someone who had the highest IQ in the whole of Konoha, he really was a simpleton at times. Nevertheless his simple moments like this one really made her heart flutter. She had noticed recently that his attitude towards her was very different to anyone else he associated with. His affection towards Sakura and Sasuke was endearing, almost parental. It was a side to him that she never thought he could possess and she found she liked it a lot. But he was a lot softer, more delicate with his mannerisms when it was just the two of them, despite his darker than dark sense of humour. He always had an encouraging word for her when she was feeling down or frightened. Always had a comeback for her own witty remarks.

Her stomach twisted a little at that point, recalling their moment in the beer garden, recalling the moment he almost kissed her. She had been replaying that instant over and over in her mind since the exact second it had almost happened, sometimes thinking that it was all in her head. Sometimes wishing that it was.

Rin knew she was still in love with him, it didn't take a genius of Kakashi's calibre to figure that one out. But the signals from him had been so confusing and muddy up until that point. And she didn't know what to do about it. The flirting at the bar afterwards where they talked about old times again had been nothing but harmless fun. That kind of thing happened a lot but she wished and dreamed so much that it meant something more.

Shaking herself free of her own thoughts Rin shook her head at him just as he happened to glance round at her.

"I need a TV for the same reason you need porn. It's like an air supply."

"Are you saying I can't live without porn?"

"Yes."

"Show's what you know, Rin."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I can live without it if I had to."

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

"How?"

"Throw out your books."

Kakashi's eyes widened in horror at such a suggestion. Rin was bluffing of course, but nothing tasted finer than making Kakashi sweat. Rin knew his weakness, and she knew the mere mention of him destroying his link with Icha Icha would have him squirming. The one thing she found utterly astonishing, however, was that he actually seemed to be contemplating the idea. That was until his eyes narrowed and his mouth turned sharply downwards in a defensive scowl.

"No." He ground out eventually. Rin felt a wide, triumphant grin wrench at her lips as she pointed an accusing finger at him.

"See? I knew you'd chicken out." She teased as she directed her visual attention back to the TV set and plugged the cable into the correct outlet at the rear. She heard Kakashi titter mockingly as he got to his feet and wandered over to the carnage of cables and instruction manuals that were heaped in front of the wooden stand on which the TV rested. He poked his head over the top as Rin crouched to the floor and picked up the instruction manual along with another scart plug to ensure she was actually doing the job correctly.

"So, you fancy yourself as a technology buff, do you?" Kakashi mocked. Rin raised her head and inspected his smug face with discontent. If he wanted a verbal sparring match then he was going the right way about it. Rin hated being bothered when she was busy, which made her choice of career all the more appealing to her. Pathology was a morbid craft and it was rare that anyone wanted to see the dissection of a corpse so nine times out of ten, Rin was usually left alone while performing her sacred art back in Lightening. She hoped that it would be the same here once she was set up at Konoha hospital.

"Well, I obviously know more than you do!" She retorted, watching his smile hitch a little in the corner as he rested his arms abreast the TV top. "Because I'm smart enough to read the manual." She chuckled, flashing the white booklet and beaming at him when he rolled his eyes at her.

"Is there _anything _I can do?" He asked eventually as Rin began to sort through the masses of cable whilst reading her bible of mechanics in hand. His voice startled her out of her concentration. Glancing up at him, Rin inspected his face for a moment --all sweet and confused he was-- before giving him his orders. Kakashi liked being told what to do. Rin had surmised this much when she saw what he was like around his ninken many years ago. He was more like a dog himself than he was a person. And a dog as well trained as Kakashi usually liked taking orders. She had told him so many times and was always greeted with the very same disapproving stare of his. But that didn't make the idea any less amusing. Kakashi was a puppy at heart and that was that.

"I bought some chips the other day, you could go and get them ready in a bowl or something. And a coffee, please. I can't function if I haven't got coffee in my system." She murmured going back to her task. She sensed Kakashi slink off to the kitchenette to prepare her feast for her half an hour of "me time."

Rin had purchased the television set to install in her new apartment, but she was finding herself unable to wait for much longer. It didn't matter either way, she had every intention of leaving the set behind when she moved. Her biggest problem now was how she was going to tell Kakashi about it. She knew the longer she left it, the harder it would become. Rin had mentioned it in passing a couple of times since the viewing and each time she had watched him withdraw into himself making it perfectly obvious that he wasn't thrilled about her moving out. She found this quite baffling to say the very least. Kakashi was a man who enjoyed his own company over that of others and yet it seemed that he didn't want her to go. It was nice to think that she was so wanted but the longer she stayed, the more trapped in his web she would become. It was better for both of them if she found her independence sooner rather than later.

Rin found it far too easy to depend on others and it wasn't fair on Kakashi for her to cling to him like a little lost lamb. But finding the right words and the right time to tell him was more challenging than she originally thought it would be.

* * *

Rin was in her element; feet up on the couch, bowl of salted chips at hand, completed with the additional soft drink at the foot of the seating. Totally engrossed in the action spilling out on the plasma screen of the brand new TV, she couldn't have felt happier. That was until Kakashi returned from the kitchenette and joined her in her half hour of bliss. Rin wouldn't have minded but Kakashi seemed to be feeling unusually talkative this afternoon.

"So, what are we watching again?" He asked nonchalantly as he slid his posterior in-between the sofa's arm and her feet. Rin hutched herself up on the opposite arm in order to allow him enough room to sit but he had another thing coming if he thought she would sit normally. She always watched her soap with her feet up, it was just the way it had to be.

"It's called _Baku's Farm. _I started watching this not long after I started work in Lightening." She answered flatly as she shovelled a handful of chips into her mouth. Kakashi hummed, seemingly uninterestedly, as he shifted himself awkwardly in his seat.

"What's it about?" He questioned again. Rin looked round at him habitually before turning her attention immediately back to the screen.

"Just people." She shrugged. "They all live in a small farming community. It's just a story about their lives. Of course it's all fiction."

"What made you start watching this, though? I didn't think you liked stuff like this."

"I heard some of the girls talking about it at work. There's a character in it called Kakashi. So out of morbid interest I started watching it. It's quite good." She shrugged again. She heard Kakashi snigger at the mention of his own name which caused her to roll her eyes and turn towards him again, glowering at his smug, knowing expression.

"What?" She retorted defensively as she took a small chip from her fingers with the tip of her tongue and began munching at it slowly.

"I take it this _Kakashi_ is all charm and good looks then seeing as this show's gripped you to the core?" He chortled and arching a flirtatious brow at her. Rin giggled at him and shook her head. What a shallow mind the copy nin possessed. If he actually thought he himself was full of charm then he was sorely mistaken. Kakashi had wit, there was no doubt about that, but charm was something he had never possessed. There was a difference between having the gift of the gab and being charming. Kakashi was certainly not the latter in her eyes. Not that she wished him any different.

"You couldn't be more wrong. Kakashi is about seventy years old and he's a real bastard. Nobody likes him. I read somewhere the producers were going to kill him off in some spectacular fashion. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say." She spouted. Kakashi's face fell a little but with that said he soon went quiet as Rin continued to lose herself in the everyday lives of civilian's battling for survival in _Baku Farm's_ gangster dominated world.

The show itself wasn't particularly gripping; the story line switched from character to character, each with his or her own issues and hang ups. Life was never simple in the tiny fictional village. But it had been Rin's only means of escapism while trapped in the secluded spit of land. She had spent everyday waiting in anticipation for six thirty every evening, just to give her mind a rest from the horrors of reality. Just how Kakashi had his books, Rin had Baku's Farm.

They had been watching for almost fifteen minutes when the commercial break kicked in. The first advertisement about some random new gadget that was coming on the market "this summer" held no interest with the young medic. Rin shifted her sights to Kakashi, whom she half expected to see either submerged within the pages of his smutty fantasy land known as Icha Icha or at the very least asleep. As she turned her head, his gaze shifted from the TV set to her. Rin was amazed to say the very least. Kakashi was a genius in every sense of the term, but genius minds usually bored quickly and Kakashi was no exception. Never the less, it seemed he had taken an interest in her favourite soap opera.

"So, what do you think then?" She chirped and expecting him to shrug his shoulders dismissively. Instead he surprised her a little more.

"I'm a little confused if I'm honest." He chuckled, a shy grin pulling at the corners of his mouth as he pinched his eyes closed and began to scratch the back of his head habitually.

"About what?" Rin asked inquisitively, drawing her legs up the sofa as she rested her back against the arm of the sofa and wrapped her arms around her knees. Of course he was a little confused, he wouldn't know any of the characters and he wouldn't know how or why they were in the predicaments they had found themselves. Either way she would be happy to explain if he so wished it, but right at this moment in time she wasn't keeping her hopes up.

"Well, I don't understand why Suki would marry someone who is so horrible to her and yet keep sleeping with the one guy that does actually love her. Why doesn't she just leave the asshole and shack up with the nice one? And what's the deal with Hiroshi? Why is he so shifty around his boyfriend? Seems to me like he's been up to no good. And it's more than obvious that there's some sexual tension between Akira and Mei. Is that all this show is really about? Getting into each others pants?"

Rin was flabbergasted. She simply sat, mouth agape as she tried to absorb what Kakashi was saying. He had actually sat with her and took in exactly what had been happening in the show. He flitted his eyes about her face for a few seconds as he waited for a reply before his features twisted into a deep scowl.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He questioned darkly, wrenching Rin from her stupor with a start.

"Huh? Like what?"

"Like that! Stop it, Rin. It's creepy." He muttered, quickly turning his attention to a spot on the floor and shifting in his seat uneasily. Rin giggled at him earning her a disgruntled sideways glance which caused her to laugh as she leaned forward and slapped his shoulder jokingly. Kakashi flitted his eyes over her briefly before a small grin found it's way onto his mouth.

"You're so silly, you know! I was just surprised that's all. I didn't think you would take much notice." She chuckled before composing her self and letting the laughter subside.

"Okay, to answer your questions: Suki used to be married to Yoshi, they split up years ago and then she got involved with Hiro, who she's married to now. Suki then decided that she still wanted Yoshi and they've been having an affair on and off for the past three years. Hiro is a bit of a bad boy but he has a good heart. The reason he's horrible to her is because he knows about the affair through one of his employee's at the club he owns in the town but he has yet to tell her about it…" Rin stopped to take a breath for her next barrage of explanation:

"And Hiroshi has been having sex with a woman for the past nine episodes. I always knew he was bisexual; he made that obvious but he keeps declaring he's gay pretty much to the whole community even though loads of people know about his affair. The thing is, he doesn't want Akuma but the only reason he stays with him is because he doesn't anyone else to have him." Rin could talk about Baku's Farm all week if anyone was willing to listen. But as she sat and explained the story line to Kakashi she absently noticed his eyes become emptier and emptier as he looked to be slipping into a conscious coma. She closed her mouth and shook her head slowly at him.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?" She muttered sheepishly and feeling mildly embarrassed by his blank stare.

"Not really. But I'm sure if I had the patience to keep up with it I can figure it own on my own." He deadpanned. Rin stifled a chuckle at him. As if Kakashi was going to keep up with a soap opera. But then again, having actually read the contents of Icha Icha herself out of curiosity, she found that those stories played out like a drama. The only difference was it was based solely on one character rather than a multitude of them. However, she doubted very much that Kakashi would stay true to his word and if she was honest she wouldn't mind either way but it would be nice to converse with someone about it each day.

Just at that moment the theme music for Baku's Farm echoed through the room, drawing Rin's attention back to the TV set as she settled herself into the lumpy sofa. Reaching over the arm, she reached for her bowl of chips absently and pulled them from the floor and on to her lap not once lifting her gaze from the TV.

The scene coming up was one that Rin had been waiting months to happen. Kakashi had briefly mentioned a sexual tension between two characters; Akira and Mei. Being two favourites of hers Rin had partaken in many a pairing war at the hospital with the other medics and nurses there that watch the show. Akira was what one would call "a nice guy" and Mei came from a troubled family with a long arduous back-story. Not a lot of people that she knew of actually like her, but Rin did. She found that she could relate to Mei in a lot of ways. She was shy, vulnerable and was hurled into a world of crime and deceit at a young age and found it hard to trust anyone as a result.

Rin had felt like that countless times, so couldn't help but take to her character. It was almost looking at herself sometimes.

She watched in a long awaited anticipation as the two characters in question sat in the booth at the club, the camera drawing particular attention to their lips as they moved in ever closer for that kiss, that one kiss that would end Rin's torment and begin her triumphant state of mind to know that she had been right all along.

Just as that moment was at it's cusp, just as their lips began to connect, just as Rin's stomach flipped over in excitement, she saw a hand appear out of the corner of her eye and hover above her precious potato chips. Swiftly darting her eyes towards Kakashi who was about to take a handful she slapped his hand with a loud crack that left her finger tips stinging at the ends.

Kakashi hissed inwardly as he quickly drew his hand away from her bowl and nursed it tenderly in the other, clasping it to his chest like a young boy would a small pet.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He wailed pathetically, rubbing at the redness that was now bleeding through the skin across his knuckles.

"Get your own! Anyway, you said you don't like chips when I offered you some earlier! And you made me miss the ending!" Rin shrieked, clutching the bowl tightly to her stomach. Kakashi raised his brows at her in astonishment, still stroking his hand affectionately as his sights flitted from her face to her bowl of salted food.

"I only wanted one!"

"I said get your own!"

"Don't be greedy, Rin!"

"I bought them. They're mine."

"You're eating them out of one of my bowls!"

"Oh, I see. Using fickle tactics now are we, Kakashi?"

"Give me a chip!"

Before Rin could answer _no_, Kakashi was already lurching towards her, hands outstretched in an attempt to wrench the bowl out of her hands. A manic grin was plastered on his face and his eyes were wider and more devious than she had ever seen them. She quickly tried to move the bowl away from him just as he managed to grab the rim of the plastic container. The coupling force from both of them sent the bowl flying out of Rin's grip as they both dived for it. As the bowl crashed to the floor, spilling the remainder of the potato chips, Kakashi and Rin fell in a heap on the sofa and stared at the mess on the hard wood for a few moments before Rin span her head round and glared at him. He looked a little shocked as he flitted his eyes towards her.

"Heh… whoops." Kakashi uttered in a surprising feeble voice with an equally pathetic smile.

"You… you lummox! Look what you did!" She squealed, shunting her elbow backwards and connecting with his chest. She heard him grunt a little at the impact but she knew for a fact she didn't hit him hard enough for it to hurt.

"That wouldn't have happened if you'd have just let me take one." He retorted with a slight tremor of humour hanging in his voice.

"You are such a child sometimes, Kakashi.!" Rin ground out, trying to stifle the giggles that tickled the base of her throat. The only reason he wanted one was because she had told him he couldn't.

Using her elbow she pushed herself onto her back to find that Kakashi was a lot closer than she originally thought. Her breath caught in her throat and her smile waned and died as she drank in the heat of his body surrounding her. Kakashi gazed down at her, his eyes darker than she was used to as he just lay on top of her, pinning her to the sofa. Rin felt her self boiling up, a horrid flush crawling along her cheeks and bleeding down her neck as the dormant butterflies began to stir in her gut. After the near miss the other night, she didn't think she would have the chance to experience that feeling of white hot ecstasy for a second time, but here they were; doing it all over again.

She could feel his breaths and his heartbeat through the barriers of cloth that prevented her desired contact of flesh on flesh. Kakashi bowed his head a touch before hesitating a little as Rin failed to stifle a small shaky gasp. Her entire body was quivering as that tight knot in her stomach began to unwind and lick it's path into her core and flow through her thighs. She watched Kakashi flit his eyes sporadically from her eyes to her lips before he moved closer again. Parting his lips slightly, he hovered them above hers, chancing gentle, electric brushes of the supple skin as Rin followed suit, consumed by a need for him that she couldn't control, nor wanted to.

Kakashi tilted his head slightly, his eyes flitting from lips to eyes, his own clouded over and holding a lustful edge that sent rivers of pleasure souring through her being each time their gaze connected. Her breaths; uneven and shaky were still enough to allow her breasts to press against him with each quivering inhale. She could feel the course fabric of her shirt chafing at her nipples and intensifying the heat that swelled between her legs.

At that moment he pressed his mouth against hers, trapping her lips closed in a hot wet kiss devoid of any sensation other than euphoria and passion. Rin lay there beneath him, unable to comprehend what was happening. She had wanted this moment for as long as she could remember and now that it was finally happening she was too stunned to gather her garbled thoughts and react to it the way she wanted to. She just lay there while Kakashi worked his magic on her mouth. His kiss was so sensual, so soft and smooth it was heart stopping.

Seeming to sense her indecision, Kakashi pulled away slowly allowing his lips to linger on hers before meeting with her gaze. Rin regarded him for a second, piecing together what had just happened until her senses dimmed and her reflexes began to take over.

Kakashi looked away briefly, a hazy tint of cerise seeping over the bridge of his nose. Flitting his sights back to her he opened his mouth to speak but Rin intercepted, placing her finger on his lips and enticing him to close them slowly. She knew what he was going to say, the look on his face said it all. He was going to apologise and she didn't want that. She didn't want him to regret, she wanted more, more of him, his kisses, his heat.

Kakashi's eyes, though mismatched, took on a sparkle of expectation as Rin took away her silencing digit and traced the tips of her fingers along the line of his jaw until they were met with the dishevelled locks of hair at the base of his neck. She pulled him towards her and Kakashi did nothing to resist her motion. He crushed his lips back to hers, the force was bruising, needy and utterly brimming with sexual anxiety.

Closing her eyes, she fisted his hair into her hands and felt his own shift from the arm of the sofa behind her head and onto her shoulders. His touch sent molten tremors of euphoria through her core making her hunger pangs for him flare up and burn away at her being.

Kakashi ran his tongue along Rin's upper lip enticing her to part them a little, allowing him access to her mouth. Taking the invitation he plunged his hot tongue into the depths, causing her to moan softly into his mouth as he allowed the hot muscle to dance along hers.

She heard him groan delightfully as she slid her tongue along his, tasting the sweet undertones of mint that lingered along the edges of his teeth. His taste was intoxicating and dangerously addictive and she needed more of it.

Kakashi shifted his body above her, forcing her to adjust her legs and allow for him to separate them with his thigh. As he lifted his leg to gain a better purchase on the decrepit sofa, the base of his knee hit the valley between legs and sent a crippling shock of pleasure coursing through her core. She arched her back, throwing her head into the cushions, causing her to break the kiss and moan out loud. Kakashi instantly shifted a hand to the back of her head, twisting his fingers into her hair forcing her to keep her current position as he attacked the underside of her jaw with his teeth.

He nipped at the tender flesh between lapping his tongue over the marks he was undoubtedly leaving behind. The slight hits of pain coupled with the slickness of his tongue deepened the pleasure and caused the knot between her legs to bubble and boil.

The sensation was like nothing she had ever felt before, it felt so good, so energising, euphoric. Tightening her grip on his hair, Rin rocked her hips, the friction of her sex against the fabric of her pants and Kakashi's thigh caused the heat to flare as she felt the pressure building and building.

Kakashi smoothed his free hand from her shoulder; his fingers splaying around the contours of her throat, as he moved his offensive kissed to her pulse, and stroked his fingers along the hem of buttons on her shirt. She rocked her hips again and relished in the low groan he emitted as he did the same. She felt his hard member rub against her stomach and she took great delight in the idea that she was the one who had caused it, she was the one that was making him feel this way, that made him eager to take her as she was eager to let him; right now and right here.

Just at that moment Kakashi stopped dead, breaking contact with her entirely before lifting his head sharply and directing his eyes at the front door. The action took Rin by complete surprise as she lay gasping for breath beneath him, desperate for him to continue his sweet torture.

"Kakashi? What's wrong?" She whispered pleadingly. He didn't respond, he just stared with a mean earnest at the beaten wooden panel on the other side of the room. Moments passed like hours as Rin tried to fathom what it was he was doing when there was a loud knock on the door. He had known just at that moment in time that someone was approaching. Even when lost in the moment of passion he still had all his senses on high alert. He was amazing like that sometimes.

She watched his eyes narrow a little before he manoeuvred himself from the sofa and stalked towards the door, pulling up the face mask briskly as he moved. Rin sat herself up on the sofa, smoothing down the creases in her shirt, feeling a little cold and over exposed at the sudden decline in contact and absently noticing the soft warble of the television set. Kakashi opened the door and was greeted by the dark haired boy that Rin had met days ago. Sasuke, if she recalled rightly.

"Sensei, Naruto has sent me to collect you. He wishes to speak with you at the office." Sasuke reeled glumly. Kakashi slumped a little, rubbing the visible portion of his face with his free hand.

"Can't it wait? I'm… kind of in the middle of something." Kakashi droned as he propped himself up against the door. Rin saw Sasuke close his eyes as he shook his head, crossing his arms sharply across his chest.

"No, it can't. Sakura is already there waiting for us to return. I would suggest you get your uniform and come with me. It's important, Kakashi."

Kakashi sighed irritably before he nodded his head, albeit begrudgingly.

"Wait here. I'll be out in a second." he replied flatly. He closed the door, banishing the light from the derelict hallway and instantly stalked into the bedroom to collect his things. Upon the exiting the small room Kakashi was already dressed in his Jounin uniform, complete with Hitai-ate, and was currently pulling his gloves into position. Rin turned to face him on the sofa as he looked up at her and gave her an apologetic furrow of his brow before making his way over to her.

Rin followed him with her eyes, turning her self around as he walked past the sofa and crouched down in front of her. Pulling down his mask, Kakashi pointed his gaze at the floor between them before looking up at her with solemn eyes. She regarded him for a moment, not entirely sure how to react or what to say. Kakashi leaned towards her, quickly pressing his lips to hers before pulling away and stroking the side of her cheek as he inspected her face solemnly.

"I'm sorry, Rin…" He started before Rin interrupted him with a swift shake of her head and a warm smile.

"Don't be. Duty calls. I understand that, you should go. I've got a messy floor to clean up anyway."

Kakashi sighed as he nodded his head and got to his feet, pulling the fabric back over his face and smoothing it down over his throat. He walked over to the door, opened it and left without looking back. Rin didn't expect him to say goodbye, chances were that he was being assigned a mission and there was a possibility that he wouldn't be coming back today. Kakashi was never very good at goodbyes, it was an emotional ailment that had tormented him for many years and it was only fair that Rin understood that.

She turned her attention the masses of chips and crumbs on the floor spilled out of the bowl that was now laying on it's side. It was a wonder that it didn't break when it hit the floor. Rin sighed irritably as she pushed her self from her seat and walked into the kitchenette in search of cleaning materials. She knew the moment the bowl hit the floor that she would be the one that would have to clean it up but that would have to wait for the time being. Thinking back to that precious moment when her lips first connected with the ones that belonged to the love of her life, she let out a shaky sigh. Her heart pounded against her chest so much so she could hear her own pulse and her entire body felt on fire. A cold shower was in order before she did anything else. He was incredible, his kiss had been incredible. Rin had been kissed before, but never so passionately. Kakashi's kiss hadn't been forced or acted, he hadn't simply gone through the motions. He had wanted to kiss her. But the ultimate question she was asking herself now was what this was going to do to their friendship…

* * *

A storm was coming. The sky had turned grey and murky as the clouds; pregnant with rain and thunder began to swirl in their death roll overhead. The scent of the rain yet to come hanging in the air was pungent and dense. Although the breeze was cold the warmth was close and sticky making the clothes he wore cling to him as the damp air moistened the fabric.

Kakashi gazed up at the heavens as he sighed and crammed his hands into his pockets. Rain was never a good sign when one was preparing to embark on a mission. It meant wet clothes for the duration and the last time he had endured a rainstorm whilst travelling a long distance he had a horrendous bout of athletes foot due to the wet conditions he had to trudge through.

Granted, the mission he had been assigned wasn't anything to shout about; a mere cargo shipping mission to the south-end port of Fire Country. It would take a few days to get there due to the load him and his team would be carrying but at least he would be able to get back a little quicker. The routes were already planned out for him but that didn't stop the discontentment sinking in. He disliked not having sufficient time to calibrate himself. Usually ninja were given at least a few days to prepare themselves for travel, to plan their own routes and possible outcomes if attacked. But alas, Kakashi didn't have the luxury of time on this occasion, the mission had come in and the duty was to be fulfilled instantly. S-classed missions were hard to come by nowadays, so Kakashi had to take what little work the Hokage offered him in order to earn his pittance. Not only that but Sasuke was still on his probationary period within the village and this meant the highest ranking mission he was authorised to take was a B. Kakashi wasn't short of money, pinching the pennies over the years had certainly paid off, but that didn't mean that he could survive for long with no work at all.

Kakashi felt the faint, tiny drops of the start of the rainfall splatter on the exposed flesh of his face. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head to the monument and repeated his silent prayer for the fallen before him.

Kakashi always made a point of visiting the memorial stone before leaving the village. There were so many souls here that deserved his blessing and his respect as one day, he was certain, it would be his name carved into the rock as a mere distant memory while his decaying body lay lost in the wilderness. The thought was depressing but Kakashi found no use in trying to deny that it could one day become fact. Staying alert and at the top of his game was his only means of survival and as age crept up on him and his body grew older and slower these factors were not always going to save him.

The site was a lonely place, it wasn't often that others came here. But Kakashi visited as often as he could. All his memories lay within these sacred grounds. Aside from the pages of the fictitious Icha Icha series, this was a place where he felt a little safer, a little closer to those that he had lost over the years. He paid his respects to the dead but there was only ever one name he ever came to see. Uchiha Obito. Kakashi's memories of the young boy he once knew were never fond ones. He wasn't his friend, though he should have been. For years all he had ever done was taunt him, bully him and tell him he would never be good enough. If only Kakashi had done things differently, if only he had been able to see himself and how cruel he had been towards not just Obito, but Rin also. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have done things so very differently. With Rin, he had been blessed with not only a second chance, but a third, but with Obito…

Fate was cruel yet after analysing everything that had happened that day; Rin's kidnapping, Obito's revolt and his own blinded ignorance… one of them had been destined to die on that mission.

Many times, while standing by the stone that bore the name of a boy that should have been his friend, Kakashi had cursed fate, blamed it for making a terrible mistake. It shouldn't be Obito's name that decorated the stone; it should be his.

Opening his heavy eyes, Kakashi scanned the many names once more that symbolised the souls of the village when a small voice behind him dragged him from his thoughts with a start.

"I thought I would find you here."

Kakashi lifted his head, before turning his gaze towards his visitor. Rin stood behind him, arms wrapped around herself in a protective embrace against the wind that was dragging the distant storm ever closer. She glanced at him solemnly before warily stepping to the side of him and scrutinising the memorial. Her forlorn expression made her seem a little lost and upset, although her eyes were showing no signs of tears, there was still an indication that there was something bothering her.

He eyed her over briefly before opening his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"I've accepted the offer on the apartment I went to view the other day. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't really know how to." She muttered, not once taking her eyes away from the memorial in front of them. He observed her for a moment, not really listening to her as his mind recalled snippets of their passionate encounter mere hours ago.

"Rin, I think we need to talk…" He started as Rin turned her head to face him with a charming warm smile that made her eyes sparkle in the dwindling sunlight.

"No, we don't. I know that you're leaving tonight. I kind of guessed seeing as you were collected from home rather than just sent for. You need to concentrate on your mission. Whatever you need to say to me can wait. I'll still be here when you get back, I'm moving out, not moving away." She soothed, hitching her shoulders against the cool wind as the rain began to get a little heavier. Kakashi lowered his gaze shamefully. It was good to know that she understood, being a ninja herself he wouldn't have expected any less, but that didn't excuse him not going back to the apartment and explaining himself to her.

They both stood there in silence as they regarded the stone, set for the souls of the dead and missing, the only sounds being the twitter of birdsong and the light rain hitting the grass around them.

"Duration?" Rin asked eventually. It was obvious she was being cautious about her wording. The open air had ears and it was for the best that missions, no matter how insignificant they seemed were kept under lock and key. But even with the law banning any talk it wasn't uncommon for them to be discussed light-heartedly.

"About a week. Maybe less."

"I see. I should have moved out by the time you come back."

"So, you're definitely going?"

Rin turned towards him her eyes glowing under the murky clouds. She smiled at him as she shifted her weight from one foot to another and shook her head.

"I need my independence. I can't stay there forever, Kakashi. It's just not… feasible. I'm grateful though, for everything you've done for me. You didn't have to. And it's been fun, don't you think?" She shrugged meekly. Kakashi huffed out a sigh. He knew he didn't have to show any hospitality at all. He could have left her to her own devices and told her to leave on that very first night.

"I know I didn't have to. The fact is I wanted to." He deadpanned, turning his attention back to the memorial. He heard Rin chuckle under her breath, she knew he was telling the truth so that was enough confirmation for him. They both stood and regarded the stone again for a while. Kakashi always lost track of time when he came here, it was one of the many reasons why he was always late for important meetings and training sessions. He simply couldn't tear himself away. He hated leaving, hated leaving them here in the cold. It was silly. The dead on the stone weren't really here, but still, their memories; most corroded away along with the weather worn rock, were all here to be admired in a saddened awe.

"Do you come here often?" Rin asked eventually, her voice so soft it was barely a whisper.

"Not as often as I would like." Kakashi responded flatly.

"I tried to avoid this place. I came here the first day I came back… but I didn't stay long." Rin muttered shamefully. Kakashi shot her a sideways glance to see her head bowed, her eyes closed and a disconcerting expression piercing her usually happy face. She looked up suddenly, taking a sharp intake of breath as she swept her hair over her shoulder with a flick of her head.

"I should have come to see him sooner. But… I don't know. I feel like I have nothing left to say to him. There's only so many times I can say I'm sorry before it loses all meaning." Her lower lip began to tremble as she spoke. Kakashi could see clearly how much she was upsetting herself but perhaps her talking about it would help her old wounds to heal. She had done nothing but help him in his time in the dark world of his own defeat. She had never made any time for herself.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Kakashi questioned curiously, stepping towards her a little.

"For getting you both wrapped up in that mess. If it wasn't for me… Obito would still be alive. I accept the blame, Kakashi. I know it was my fault, I know that I owe you my life… I know…" Sighing shakily in a bid to calm herself, Rin rubbed nervously at her arm as the winds tore through the tree's. Kakashi turned to face her fully, and frowned at her.

"You don't owe me anything. Things happen for a reason. And if it wasn't for Obito disobeying my orders I doubt very much that any of us would have survived." Kakashi dead panned with a shrug. Rin turned her head and inspected him sceptically. Her eyes were teary but unthreatening as she turned her self around to face him.

"Besides, it was Obito that came to your rescue. I was going to leave you to your fate. It's him you owe your thanks. Not me."

Rin bowed her head again at his revelation. The news wasn't new. Kakashi had told her as much before now what his intentions had been on that fateful day. It had upset her then as it did now, but it was the truth. He didn't deserve her pity, and he didn't deserve her friendship. But she had found it within herself to forgive him for his tactless behaviour but that wasn't to say that he was ready yet… to forgive himself.

"You were our team leader, Kakashi. You had to make a decision that would benefit the village. I don't hold that against you, I never have and I never will. The fact that you came back at all was a blessing in my book. And I thank both you and Obito for that everyday." She murmured as she raised her eyes, locking them with his and gave him another one of her warming smiles. Kakashi found himself smiling back, be it through the fabric of his mask yet the shame still clouded his mind whenever he thought back to how he could have done things differently. The only thought that dominated his senses back then was not becoming his father yet it was taking a leaf out of the White Fangs book that had served them both in the long run.

His precious rule book hadn't helped him that day but it was lesson he had learned, be it the hard way… again.

"Anyway…" Rin blew out, wiping her teary eyes with the back of each hand Before reaching into a breast pocket on her lilac shirt. "I came here to give you something. Remember those stones I showed you the other day? The Dragon Eggs?" She asked, giving a slight sniffle and eyeing him over curiously as she rummaged in her pocket. Kakashi nodded, feeling somewhat relieved at the sudden change in subject. He felt he should have comforted her in some way, but he wouldn't even know where to start. A hug would have been alright but he knew that his would be forced and awkward. Perhaps it was better that he did nothing. He would only mess it up if he acted.

Rin pulled a thin string out of her pocket, bright pebbles of every colour imaginable pooled at the base of it. She grinned triumphantly before motioning it towards Kakashi. He held out his hand as Rin dropped the colourful object into his palm, feeling the coolness of the stones bleed into his skin through the leather of his gloves. Peering at it gingerly Kakashi rubbed his thumb over the stones, they were all misshapen and threaded onto a piece of white string that was tied together in a loop.

"A bracelet?" He snorted, trying to stifle his chuckles of amazement. Surely she wasn't expecting him to actually wear something like this. He heard her giggle, prompting him to glance up at her and saw her shake her head.

"No. Not a bracelet. They're worry beads." She chirped happily, but even then it didn't really set Kakashi's mind at ease.

"Worry beads?" He hummed, arching a sliver brow at her. Rin nodded as she leaned towards him and pinched at the sting of beads in both hands being careful not to take them from Kakashi's palm. She played the beads along the string, making them clink together as they fell from her grasp.

"Yeah, you _worry_ them like this. You said, sometimes when you're away you feel lonely. I thought maybe if you had a distraction apart from your books you could use these to ease the boredom and the isolation. I had some of these when I was away. I used them a lot when I was feeling lonely." She pipped, dropping the beads back into his hand. Kakashi looked them over once more, running his thumb over the shiny pebbles. It was still quite astonishing to think that these little stones were once sandy rocks.

"Did you make this yourself?" He asked as he curled his fingers around the string of beads and dropped them into his pocket. Rin grinned sheepishly and hunched her shoulders, a bashful flush creeping to the surface of her cheeks.

"Yeah. I know it's not much but, I couldn't think of anything else to give you before you went away. Besides you won't accept money for putting me up at your place and I knew that you wouldn't refuse a gift." She scolded lightly, waving a finger at him. Kakashi smiled as he lowered his gaze. He was quite touched that Rin had took the time to actually listen to him the night at the club. He hadn't wanted to be so open about it, it had just slipped out. But she had this way of making him feel better about even the most awful things. She was good like that, no one understood him like Rin did.

"Thanks, Rin." Kakashi murmured, flashing her an eye crease as he watched her smile widen a little on her pretty face. After a couple of seconds her features fell into a scowl as she jabbed a finger into his shoulder.

"There's one more thing, Kakashi." She grumbled flatly. Kakashi furrowed his brow at her as he took a step back warily in the hopes that he hadn't done or said anything to tick her off. Rin was a lot like Sakura when she was upset about something; her fists would fly before her mind would engage.

"I had to clean up that mess you made earlier and I think that you owe me a favour." She stated boldly, crossing her arms again and nodding her head sternly. He recalled the mishap with her potato chips and in all honesty had forgotten about them up until now. But still, he was certain that she was just messing with him.

"What kind of favour? Don't you think I've done my fair share recently?"

"I only want one more thing from you. Do this one little thing and I promise I'll get out of your hair."

"Well, that depends what it is."

Rin's expression changed dramatically at the point, taking on an emotional glint in her dark eyes as she stepped towards him. She gazed up at Kakashi who was seriously beginning to wonder how big this favour of hers was going to be. Suddenly she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight yet somewhat passionate embrace, her strong arms squeezing him gently as he felt her hands twist into the shoulder pads of his vest.

"Rin…?!" He stuttered as he tried to counter balance his own weight against hers in a desperate bid not to fall forward.

"Just come home safe, okay? That's all I want." She sniffled into his neck. Kakashi wasn't one for public displays of affection of any kind and he certainly wasn't enjoying this one bit. But her words, yet again, plucked at his heart strings as he nervously raised his own hands and placed them carefully on her shoulders.

"You know I can't promise you that, Rin." He grumbled apologetically, rubbing random circles into the purple cloth with his thumbs. Rin suddenly pulled away keeping her hands on Kakashi's shoulders as she glowered at the floor. Kakashi smoothed his hands over her shoulders in a comforting gesture, hoping that the action would put her at ease. He had never known anyone take such concern for his well being, but with Rin, this wasn't the first time. He had merely forgotten how much he missed her caring nature and fierce loyalty.

"I know you can't. But…" She raised her head sharply as she tightened her grip, twisting her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and bit down on her lower lip momentarily. "Can you at least promise me… that you'll try? Please?." She begged, tugging at his shirt in a desperate plea for confirmation. Kakashi nodded, smiling fondly at the young woman who cared so much for him. It felt nice that she worried, though he also felt that she needn't bother herself with such thoughts.

"Sure thing, Rin. I'll be back before you know it." he deadpanned with a slight chuckle. She nodded in agreement as she trailed her hands back around his neck and leaned into him, placing her lips firmly on the round of his cheek. Kakashi felt himself heat up instantly, hopefully his mask would be enough coverage to hide the deep flush he was certain was developing there as the skin sizzled beneath her kiss.

Pulling away, Rin gazed up at him once more, her dark eyes worried and water logged before she squeezed both his shoulders in her hands and stepped away. Kakashi allowed his hands to fall to his sides before shoving them both into his pockets.

"I better go. I've got a lot of prepping to do myself." Rin chirped bashfully. She strolled to the side of him, turning her gaze his way one last time as she raised her hand and planted it gently on his arm. She didn't stop though, like Kakashi secretly hoped she would. She quickly turned away with a faint smile and continued to walk back towards the village proper. Her hand fell away as she crossed her arms, her hair sweeping behind her in the winds. Kakashi allowed his eyes to follow her as she made her way to the streets, but she didn't look back. He stood and watched her leave, until he couldn't see her anymore, vaguely noting that the rainfall was getting heavier and the sky darker.

Kakashi glanced up at the heavens as the rain began to pelt into the ground. It was time to leave, he had no idea what time it was and there was no doubt in his mind that he was already running very late. Sakura was bound to tear him a new breathing hole for this. But that was nothing new.

* * *

The sun had settled behind the horizon hours ago, leaving only shadows in it's wake. Only the small camp fire around their chosen site for the night penetrated the darkness. Although the rain had ceased, Kakashi knew it would only be for the moment. He was able to hear the distant rumbles of thunder as it drew closer again. It was the season for storms, the humidity of the Fire Country coupled with the ever changing shift in seasons meant the new harvesting season was just around the corner. Vague memories of trawling the rice paddies with his mother danced in his head and cause him to smile as he lost his gaze within the flames of the camp fire.

It was Kakashi's turn to play the midnight watchman as the two treasured members of his precious little team rested their heads within the confines of the makeshift lean-to's propped up against the tree's. Kakashi shivered a little, uttering a small painful moan as the chill of the wind tore through the thick green blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. His clothes were still sodden with rain water and his skin felt brittle and old in the icy breeze of the night. He poked at the fire with a long stick he had found idly laying around his drenched feet as a form of entertainment. It was too dark to read and the light generated by the fire would give him a headache he could very well do without. So he sat there with only his own thoughts for company, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was falling for his closest, dearest friend.

Pakkun was right, she was the one, she always had been. But now Kakashi didn't know what he was supposed to do about it. Thinking back, Kakashi hadn't started to notice Rin as a woman, an object of which he focused his affections, until he was about fifteen. He hadn't understood what it was that he had seen in her then, he was too young and naïve to grasp the notion of attraction and by the time he had figured out exactly what it all meant it had been too late… But this was the story of his life. Kakashi had a habit of taking things for granted, and not realising what a good thing he had until he no longer had it within his reach.

If he was honest with himself, despite all the women he had slept with over the years, he didn't have that much interest in women at all. They caused complications that he felt he could do without. He sought out the affections of the opposite sex when it suited him, not them. Although he never recalled any of them complaining while he set about his business.

The sex had always been good, not great, but good all the same. It was the emptiness he felt afterwards that left him feeling worthless and with no meaning. Sex was a means to ease the pain, to make him feel less… hollow. He knew what some people thought of him, both ninja and civilian alike. He could see it in their eyes when they looked at him. They didn't see him as a man, a being whom had the power to feel pain, sorrow, pleasure and joy. They looked at him like a monster and he hated it.

All his life he had undergone extensive training to conceal his emotions, to never shed a tear no matter how he was feeling inside. As a boy he had failed miserably resulting in numerous scolding's from the old tutors and occasionally from his father, before he had turned to the bottle as his only means for comfort. The sudden death of his mother had been one of the times he had failed to keep it all locked up inside. How one could expect a child of three years of age to keep his tears under control was absurd. Although he couldn't remember a lot about his mother, Kakashi still remembered the pain he felt when she died. It still hurt a little to this day, it was merely easier to cope with.

The winds picked up once more, chilling Kakashi to the bone as he squinted against the cold. The air was warm, but the wetness of his attire enhanced the frostiness around him. It was highly unpleasant and he was certain that his immune system wouldn't be able to keep up it's battle for purity for much longer. He was bound to catch a cold after this, and the fire was doing little to dry out the gloves and sandals he had carefully placed in front of it. It was barely staying alight as it was.

He heard rustling from behind, as one of the party regained consciousness and lazily made their way towards him. Kakashi gave his fire side guest a habitual glance before snuggling deeper into his thick blanket and resuming his inspection of the small flames.

"Kakashi-Sensei? Are you alright? You look frozen." Sakura hummed softly, setting herself down next to him, drawing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Kakashi set down the stick he had used to probe the fire in his frail attempt to keep it lit and pulled the blanket further around his shoulders.

"I'm freezing. My clothes are still wet but I'll be alright. I've been in worse situations." He deadpanned. He heard Sakura sigh in disdain, causing him to look her way.

"It's my turn now anyway. Use my bed roll but make sure you get undressed before hand. I don't want a sopping wet bed tomorrow, plus you'll get pneumonia if you sleep like that." She scolded. Kakashi hummed a chuckle at her, she sounded a lot like Rin sometimes; possibly why they both seemed to get on so well. Kakashi got to his feet and began making his way towards the unoccupied lean-to within the tree's. He spied the cart which housed the load they had been carrying for the best part of the night. Filled with nothing other than food that was to be exported to poorer countries, Kakashi still had his senses about him. It wasn't uncommon for travelers to be mugged in these parts just for their rations so it went without saying that they could very well be infiltrated for a feast on wheels.

"Sensei? Is this yours?" Sakura called, dragging Kakashi from his train of thought as he turned around to face the young pink haired medic. Sakura was inspecting the object in her hand curiously as she ran her thumb over it. The worry beads that Rin had given to him that afternoon. Kakashi had admittedly forgotten about them up until now. They must have fallen out of his pants pocket at some point during his watch.

Kakashi wandered back over to the fire side and held out his hand to Sakura who looked up at him blankly.

"Yes. It was a gift."

"From Rin, I presume?"

"Not that it matters, but yes. May I have it back, please?"

"You really like her don't you?"

"Excuse me?"

Sakura shifted herself on the ground, crossing her legs as she turned towards the fire. Kakashi sighed inwardly as he sat back down next to her. He was cold, tired and merely wanted to get some sleep before sunrise. But it looked like Sakura had other plans. She played the small beads in her palm as she smiled down at them, the light of the fire on her face giving her a somewhat ethereal glow.

"Sakura?"

"Do you love her, Sensei?" Sakura asked softly, glancing at him momentarily before shifting her sights back to the small beads in her hand. Kakashi had no idea how to answer that question. He did love Rin, but in what way eluded him entirely. It started off as a brotherly love one would feel for a close sibling, it was only when she had disappeared that he realised it was something far deeper than that. He had never admitted it to himself back then however. Much preferring to deny himself such feelings, to bury them deep within himself. It was far less painful that way. The emotions he had felt, though foreign and a little frightening, upon her return had been so intense and overwhelming he couldn't realistically state what they were.

"That depends on what genre of love you're be talking about. Why do you ask anyway?" He deadpanned. Sakura chuckled softly under her breath, playing the beads in her hand and causing them to clink together.

"I think you know what I mean. When you left us at Ichiraku's the other day she talked about you a lot. That you had pretty much grown up together. She adores you Kakashi and it's pretty clear to me that you feel something other than friendship towards her."

Kakashi looked away just as Sakura faced him again. He could very well do without this, especially on a mission. But even so, Sakura's input to the whole situation had certainly given Kakashi some food for thought.

"You act differently around her. Sasuke thinks I'm looking too far into it, but Naruto agrees with me on this one." She muttered. Kakashi trained his eyes on the young medic-nin and furrowed his brows at her. He wasn't entirely sure if he liked the idea of his former students discussing his relationship with Rin, but he figured that seeing as they were together a lot of the time, especially in the public eye, people were going to talk. Instead he focused on the other part of Sakura's statement.

"What do you mean I act differently? I treat Rin no different to how I would treat anyone else." Kakashi retorted. Kakashi was certain that his denial was fact. He didn't think he acted differently around Rin or anyone else. There were certain factors that he liked to hold back as he was trained to do so, but other than that he was pretty sure that his attitude towards her and towards his team were very much the same.

Sakura shook her head as she held out the string of beads to him. Kakashi reached out, allowing Sakura to drop them in his palm. Wrapping his fingers around them he withdrew from her drawing his arm back under the thick blanket which shielded him from the cold. The temperature was starting to rise again, the air becoming thicker and closer, a high indication that the storm he was able to hear in the distance not so long ago was almost upon them.

"It doesn't matter. You should get some rest, we have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. Leave your clothes at the side of the futon I'll pick them up and dry them out here when I've built this fire up a bit, if the rain holds off for long enough anyway." She smiled turning her attention back to the fire, picking up Kakashi's discarded stick and poking at the kindling beneath the flames. Kakashi gave her a nod of agreement as he got to his feet and resume on his journey to Sakura's abandoned futon.

He had no qualms in sleeping in Sakura's bedroll. He was indeed freezing cold to the point of shivering. Her bed would still be warm from her own body heat and it saved him having to set up his own bed. She wasn't using it now anyway, so what was the harm in using it himself?

After peeling off his soaking wet clothes beneath the blanket Kakashi folded them all as best he could and placed them carefully to the side of the bedroll, before collapsing into it's warmth. He absently noticed that he was still gripping tightly to the string of beads as he snuggled further into the bed. Kakashi drew his hand into view beneath the thick sheet and unfurled his fingers to expose the pretty stones. He smiled inwardly as he recalled the conversation in the beer garden.

Although Rin's gesture of comfort was small, it meant more to him than he originally thought when she had handed him what he initially thought was a piece of jewellery. He played the beads in his hands for a while, thinking about her and how she made him feel; wanted, loved, whole. This mission was going to seem longer than it's duration. This had to be the first time he could ever recall where he just wanted to go home. But the time away from Konoha would give him precious time to think things through, what he would do when he got back and what he would say to her.

There was no use in denying what had happened back at the apartment. The first time could be discounted for as a near miss, but a second time could not be excused. He hadn't been able to help himself and it seemed that Rin had wanted it just as much as he had. Kakashi had kissed women before but nothing felt the way _that_ kiss did. His body seemed to have a mind of it's own when ever he came into close contact with her, forcing him to do things that normally he wouldn't despite his want to. His mind contradicted everything he had ever trained himself to think. Instead of smothering the actions his mind encouraged them, drowning out the usual mental scream that told him to stop and think about the consequences, to plan and lay down all the possibilities and outcomes. That was his usual strategy no matter what he was dealing with but when it came to Rin his thoughts became muddy and difficult to translate. This caused him to act on impulse alone, something he rarely did unless absolutely necessary.

But regardless of how tactless he felt he was being, he wanted more of it, more heats of the moment. They made his heart race and the buzz he felt afterwards was indescribable and euphoric. He wanted her, and he decided in that instance, one way or another he was going to claim her before anyone else moved in and took her away from him.

He noticed at the moment that the rain was beginning to pour down, splattering into the muddy ground relentlessly as the rumbles of thunder accompanied the flashes that darted across the sky overhead. So much for drying out his clothes. He felt a slight pang of guilt in his gut for Sakura, who was probably getting soaked to the bone with an extinguished fire for company, but it didn't last long. The whole team had endured much harsher weather, so he didn't let Sakura's condition concern him too much.

Kakashi closed his hand around the worry beads, thinking back again to his and Rin's conversation about what they missed about the village when they were away. He did miss the hum of Konoha, the electric buzz of life but for now, he would lose his senses and succumb to sleep by listening to the soothing beat of the rain.


	6. Synthetic Fears

A huge apology to those that have been waiting for this instalment A tragic even took place at home a few months ago that knocked me off my feet. I put the fic to rest for a while and worked on other things while I got my life back on track. But I'm back, and I'm really sorry for taking so long xx

Saph.

_**

* * *

**_

Crossing Rubicon's

_**Synthetic Fear's**_

o0o

It had been little over two days since Kakashi's departure and already Rin was starting to miss his presence. Not that this was a shock by any stretch of the imagination. It was just her luck that as soon something between them was starting to happen, it came to an abrupt stop. But something was happening; something good and her stomach fluttered each and every time she thought about it. She never thought his kiss would make her feel so weak at the knees, but it had felt better than she had ever imagined and she craved it more and more each day.

She sighed wistfully as she strolled down the empty corridor, her heels clipping on the white tiled floor as her thoughts endlessly floated around the man that had once again stolen her heart. She hoped that he was alright, where ever he may be. She knew she would be beside herself if anything should happen to him. Thoughts like these had haunted her over the past decade, with no direct way of contacting him all she had to rely on were the rumours of the legendary copy nin whenever they drifted her way.

Upon exiting the corridor she immediately turned to her left and ventured towards the mortuary office as she clasped the thin brown folder to her chest. She pushed her way through the glass door without knocking, having been instructed to do so by the nice mortician. Now that was a job that Rin felt she couldn't do. Ninja weren't required for embalming processes anyway, but she didn't think she could prepare the dead for display. Her own job was quite morbid but informative. Embalming was just plain creepy in her book but she had the utmost respect for anyone that could do it.

Rin closed the door behind her before stepping towards the desk. The mortician, an aged lady - Akita, was sat hunched over it, scribbling notes onto a form. She lifted her head, her face lighting up when she saw Rin standing at the head of the table.

"Good morning, my dear. How are you today? Settling in nicely I expect." Akita spoke softly with a warming smile. Rin grinned back as she placed the thin file on her desk and stepped back.

"I guess you could say that. I've come with the files on the deceased. Would you like me to bring the body down to the morgue?" She asked, folding her hands in front of herself. Akita waved a hand dismissively at her as she focused on her forms again.

"No, no, that won't be necessary. I'll have my assistant come pick him up when she gets here."

Rin nodded her response before turning on her heel and making her way back into the corridor.

The dark haired medic-nin was quite enjoying her new role in Konoha Hospital. She still couldn't quite believe that the position had been offered to her out of all the applicants that had shown interest in the role. Just goes to show that she had to have done something right, regardless of how nervous she had felt in the interview.

Everyone had been so friendly and helpful these past two days it was hard to believe that she had ever really left. They all acted like they had known her for years, it was so nice and refreshing. Back in Lightening she was lucky if anyone uttered a mere 'hello' her way. Konoha was like a whole different world compared to the one she had spent the last ten years of her life. It truly felt good to be home.

With her shift almost over, Rin decided to go and prepare herself for the journey home, well, Kakashi's apartment. There was laundry to be done and a few bits and pieces she needed to pack away ready for her move into her new apartment. That and she had arranged to meet Kuranai for a quick cup of tea and a chat. It had been so long since she had seen any of her old class mates and needless to say that she was quite looking forward to it.

She wandered through the maze of pristine clinical corridors until she reached the foyer at the front of the complex. She absently noticed three nurses huddled together at the large reception desk, files in hand and indulging themselves in their senseless gossip. Rin had no desire to involve herself in the rabble, having no interest for hearsay and rumours. She ignored them as she strolled past until a piercing squeal ripped through her ears.

"Oh I know, right? He is like, _the_ most gorgeous man ever!" One girl quipped, punctuating he speech with a fit of girlish giggles.

"Tell me about it! I always melt when he smiles. You're so lucky, I wish I was the one doing the screenings this year." Another sighed as the others murmured their agreements. The last statement caught Rin's attention. If they were talking of screenings, the girls were discussing a shinobi. Rin found herself curious to know exactly who they were talking about as she turned on her heal and stalked towards the counter. The three girls didn't seem to notice her as she entered the small group to discover an open file on the counter top with a very familiar face staring up at her from the pages. These girls were talking about Kakashi. Rin felt the jealousy boil over in her gut as a relentless heat began to bleed through her cheeks. Powerless to stop herself, she snatched file from the counter and folded it under her arm, much to the dismay of the young girls ogling over her man.

"How unprofessional! You should be ashamed of yourselves! This is confidential patient information and you should know better!" Rin snarled bitterly as she watched all three of them hang their heads shamefully. None of them uttered a sound as Rin continued to speak.

"It's bad enough that you're discussing patients in a concerning manner but to do it in public is completely irresponsible. I'm in the right mind to report all three of you to Shizune for this." Rin's voice had softened to a tone of pity as one of the girls lifted their eyes shamefully before dropping them back to the floor. Sighing she lowered the folder to her hand as she shook her head at them. "I won't say anything, but don't let this happen again. You know it's against hospital policy to discuss patients, okay?"

She waited a few moments before the girls nodded. Rin hummed as she walked past them, back the way she had come. Leaving the girls to think on what had just happened.

Entering Shizune's empty office, Rin stepped over to the desk and tossed the file back onto her desk. She thought perhaps she had been a little over dramatic with the girls at the front desk. They hadn't really been doing anything wrong, not technically anyway. Rin screwed her mouth distastefully as she replayed the event in her mind.

It was her jealousy that had sparked that initial anger to stir in her gut, something she thought she had put to rest a long time ago. She hated the feeling of jealousy but it seemed that it was something she still hadn't grown out of.

Sighing at her own stupidity, Rin leaned over the desk and scooped the folder back into her hand. Perhaps she would be able to apologise and hand the file back to the girl who would be dealing with Kakashi's screening. He must be due a screening sometime soon if the file was in the hands of a rookie nurse.

As she stepped back from the desk, a sheet of paper fluttered out of the folder, and landed softly back on the desk. Quickly snatching it from the table, Rin opened the cardboard file in her hand to simply pop it back in, when the picture she saw earlier stared up at her again.

She hadn't taken much notice of it before, all she knew then was it was Kakashi's face, but the more she studied it now, the more she felt that she didn't recognise him.

Rin felt herself frown at the young man in the photograph as she tried to determine if it was actually Kakashi she was looking at. According to the file, the photo was taken around two years after she had left the village making him little over twenty years old. But he looked much older than that in the picture. Sunken eyes and a deep scowl set him in his late thirties. He looked miserable, and more than likely, knowing how he dealt with his own emotions at times, he probably was. Something quite unpleasant stirred in her chest as she came to the conclusion that she had had a hand in making him feel that way.

As she peered deeper into the file, a sick sense of guilt settled into her stomach, causing her to snap the folder shut. She had just this minute scolded a few teenagers for delving into a patient's medical history without authorisation and here she was doing exactly the same thing.

She stood in the office for what seemed like hours as she tried to gather her bearings before spinning herself around and stalking back into the corridor. That one little photograph had forced her to rethink this whole scenario and the fluttering feeling of ecstasy she had been experiencing since the moment Kakashi had kissed her had transformed into a sickening knot of doubt.

* * *

As she sat at the glossy table, resting a cheek in her hand as she stared at the clock over the counter, Kuranai began to wonder just how long she had been waiting. Rin was supposed to turn up over fifteen minutes ago.

Despite not seeing her old friend for such a long time she was certain that Rin's hatred for tardiness hadn't changed a great deal. Kakashi had always been at the rough end of the woman's temper each time he had been due to appear and did so several hours late. Just at that moment the bell hanging above the door chimed, causing Kuranai to turn her attention to the new comer.

Rin was walking towards her at an unusually slow pace, well at least she had finally shown up.

"It's about time! I was getting ready to stand you up," The crimson eyed woman teased as Rin pulled out the opposite chair and plopped herself down.

"Yeah, sorry. I had some ... some things to do," She responded listlessly. At no point did the pretty woman make eye contact, another trait that Kuranai was finding quite odd. She just sat there, an unreadable expression on her face as she stared at the floor. Only a few days ago she had been so full of life, obviously very pleased to be home, and now she looked miserable. This was a very big turnaround that sparked a pang of unease in Kuranai's mind. Folding her arms over the table top, Kuranai leaned forward hoping to gain Rin's attention but failed.

"Rin? Is something the matter? You don't seem yourself today," She asked softly. She watched her friend blink slowly, almost like she was waking from a dream before she looked up and made eye contact with her. Her dark eyes flitted about her face momentarily before she dropped them to the table and swallowed hard.

"Kuranai ... you're my friend, right?" Rin croaked. Her voice trembled a little as she spoke making Kuranai's concern for her to grow. The question sounded strange to her ears, why would Rin need confirmation of their friendship? She frowned a little, crossing her legs under the table.

"Of course I'm your friend, Rin. Why?"

"Well ... uhm ... can I ask you something?" Rin shifted awkwardly in her seat, stealing a glance to her left, as if the very notion of the request embarrassed her. Kuranai sat back in her chair as she nodded. "Sure you can. What's wrong?"

A brief silence settled between them as Rin seemed to fight for words. Her shoulders jerked unevenly as she rubbed her hands together. Something was terribly wrong; Rin had always been a nervous creature, but never to this extent. Eventually the pretty medic glanced upwards, straightening herself in her seat.

"When I left the village ten years ago ... how did Kakashi take it? He wasn't ... you know ... hurt or anything?" Rin winced at her own question as her eyes darted around Kuranai's face again. What she was struggling to understand was why Rin was asking her in the first place. It was quite surprising that her and Kakashi hadn't already spoken about this when she came back. Glancing away briefly Kuranai puffed out a sigh as she turned the question over in her head.

"Well, none of us knew where you'd gone. You just ... disappeared. No one really saw that much of Kakashi back then, he was involved with the Anbu as far as I recall so I don't really know how he took it." She shrugged as she watched Rin drop her eyes back to the table. Her lower lip quivered a little and she now looked on the verge of tears. "Oh," She muttered absently, dropping herself back into the chair.

"Rin, what's going on? Has something happened?"

Rin looked up at her again, fresh tears pooling in her eyes, making them glisten in the sun that beamed through the windows. She took a deep breath and let it out shakily as she seemed to compose herself.

"Remember that night, in the club?"

Kuranai nodded.

"Kakashi ... he tried to kiss me. We were interrupted, but it was still there. He tried to kiss me." Rin sucked on her lower lip, obviously struggling with her emotions as she glanced back towards the floor.

"So? I thought you were crazy about him. Surely that's a good thing?" Kuranai quipped, she giggled a little at the thought. She knew something was going on between them and by the way they had both dropped quiet when Genma had been to collect them it was painfully clear that something had happened outside. The one thing that surprised her the most was that Kakashi was the one to make the first move. She had been almost certain that Rin would have been the one to move in on him. As usual the copy nin was full of surprises.

Rin shook her head slowly, not once lifting her gaze from the tiles. "That's not it. That was just the start of it. I didn't think he felt that way about me, he never showed any signs of it before," she murmured.

"Rin, this is Hatake Kakashi we're talking about. Since when has he showed any interest in anything other than his books? Just because he doesn't show his feelings doesn't mean he doesn't have any."

"I know. But a couple of days later, the day he went away ... he kissed me ... he really kissed me." Rin's voice dropped in pitch as she spoke, almost like she was talking to herself rather than her friend on the opposite side of the table. She lifted a hand and touched her lips gingerly with her fingertips, clearly recalling the event in her mind. Kuranai frowned as she sat back in her chair.

She was having trouble figuring out why Rin was getting so upset over it. She'd had a thing for the copy nin since before she could remember. As far as she was concerned this simple kiss had been a long time coming. It was obvious to her that Rin still had feelings for him and by the way Kakashi continuously sniffed around her lately, she was certain he felt pretty much the same way. They were always together since the day she had returned from wherever she had been, so this step was simply part of the natural progression.

"I don't see what the problem is. You've wanted him since you first met him. This should be a dream come true, right?" Kuranai grumbled as Rin darted her eyes back to her.

A shock of utter fright lurched across her dark eyes as a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek. The expression caught the dark haired jounin off guard as she tried to judge what the look was trying to convey to her.

"Rin...?"

"Kuranai ... I think I've made a terrible mistake..."

* * *

It had been a long time since Kakashi had wanted to get back to the village so badly after a mission. After dropping off the supplies at the dock he had made orders of his teams' departure instantly. Under any normal circumstances the journey back would have taken at least four days but they had managed it in just over two. This was great achievement in his eyes and one that he could see himself paying for within the next couple of days. Every single muscle throbbed from overuse and by the way the other two were lagging behind, they were suffering too

The welcoming gates of Konoha were in view and a warm sense of gratification filled his being as the huge wooden structure loomed on the horizon. He felt a smile come to his concealed lips at the mere thought of seeing Rin again. There had been moments out in the field where he had almost convinced himself it had all been a wonderful dream. Lucky for him that Sakura had taken quite a shine to his old team mate which confirmed that it was all very real.

Throughout most of their small delivery mission, the pink topped medic was asking a lot of questions, far more than usual, about her new found heroine. Kakashi answered most of them the best he could but it didn't take long for her to start digging into more personal territory. Kakashi had never felt particularly comfortable talking about his personal issues, especially not with his team mates, so he had done his best to skirt around the issue.

He took a quick glance over his shoulder towards his flagging team. He chuckled a little at them as he started to slow his own pace. Both of them liked to think they could keep up with him but he still out ran them every time.

Kakashi slowed right down to a slow stroll, turning back towards the gates and it didn't take too long before Sakura caught up with him, Sasuke not that far behind her.

"So, what's first in your agenda, sensei?" She quipped flashing him a warm smile. Kakashi rolled his eyes at her; he was more than aware that she was fishing for more details about his so called love life. Why she found it so interesting he would never know.

"The first thing I plan to do is go home and get some sleep," He answered with a little enthusiasm that made it sound a lot more exciting than it really was. He heard Sakura sigh irritably obviously not fully content with his answer.

"Okay. Then what?"

"Well, once I'm done sleeping, if I'm feeling really adventurous, I might have something to eat," he deadpanned.

"Ugh! Sensei you're impossible! What about Rin? Aren't you going to take her out or something?" Sakura ground out her light trot quickly turning into a stomp. Kakashi frowned as he turned his head towards her. "And why would I do that? Rin's probably already eaten."

Sakura scowled at him distastefully. "You're an idiot." She grumbled as she seemed to grasp that Kakashi wasn't playing the game by her rules.

"Why thank you. It's nice to know you think so highly of me, Sakura," He snorted giving her one of his trademark eye creases in the process.

It didn't take long for them to reach the gates of Konoha, once past the threshold of the village the group came together for their farewells.

"So, mission complete." Sasuke droned, folding his arms across his chest and cocking his hips to one side.

"Indeed," Kakashi nodded. "Make sure you get your reports in to the Hokage within the next couple of days and I'll see you next time," He ordered softly. The others nodded in agreement before turning on their heels and setting off into the village proper. Kakashi stood back and watched them leave, smiling a little when Sakura hooked her arm through Sasuke's, quite possibly to the young Uchiha's dismay.

It felt good that they were getting on so well now. It only seemed like yesterday that they could barely stand to look at each other. They'd all had their ups and downs, but despite how dysfunctional others thought they were, they were still his team and Kakashi cared deeply for each of them. When he thought about it, he always had done.

Uttering a soft chuckle to himself as he watched them disappear into the jungle of buildings, Kakashi decided to move forward. He hadn't technically been lying to Sakura about getting some sleep, but he hadn't planned on doing that right away. There was a certain auburn haired kunoichi he wanted to see first.

* * *

The stench of rotting wood and rising damp had never smelled so good. It was the smell of home but it was only now that he was beginning to appreciate it. Kakashi inhaled deeply as he stepped off the top step of the stairway that led to his apartment. Strolling towards his door, he fumbled in his pants pocket for the keys. He was certain the Rin would still be there. He recalled her telling him at the memorial the day he departed that she had found her own place to live but he had a hunch that she would still be there waiting for him to return.

He wrenched the keys from his pocket as he approached the apartment and went to unlock the door when he noticed it was slightly ajar. Kakashi stared at it momentarily, a knot of unease stirring in his gut before shooting his eyes towards the gap. It was dark inside the apartment and yet there was no damage to the door or the frame to suggest that it had been forced. Surely Rin wouldn't have left it open if she wasn't in.

He heard noises within. Somebody was there but he couldn't take any chances as to who it could be. Gently placing the flat of his hand against the door, Kakashi pushed it open slowly, exposing the dark room within. An ominous shape shifted around near the couch for a second before it swung around with a startled gasp.

The light from the hallway panned across the shadowed figure to reveal a rather frightened looking Rin. Kakashi had a feeling it was her; it was so unlike her to leave the place unsecured. He felt himself relax as he stepped into the room.

"Kakashi! I wasn't expecting you back so soon," She gasped, clasping a hand to her chest as she leaned back against the arm of the couch.

"The mission was a little shorter than expected." He lied. She didn't need to know that they had rushed back, not right now anyway. He stepped further into the lounge, cramming his hands into his pockets.

"Why are you in the dark anyway? Light bulb blown out?" He drawled, craning his neck to look at the light fitting hanging from the water stained ceiling.

"N... no. Uhm, I'd just come back to get some things I'd forgotten. I'm ... I'm not staying," She stuttered as she turned herself around and hunched back over the sofa. Kakashi arched a brow at her. She was acting very strangely. Needless to say that he had expected a very different reception to what he had just received. Rather than her throwing her arms around him, welcoming him back (which was what he had hoped she would do) she had the audacity to almost question why he was there. She seemed nervous, like she was hiding something.

"You've moved out already?" He asked. He turned his head a little to one side as she spun herself around again. In her arms she carried a bundle of what looked like clothing. He saw her dark eyes flit about his face before she dropped them to his feet and nodded her head. "Yeah," She all but whispered.

Something was wrong. Kakashi stepped towards her, lifting a hand and reaching for one of hers that was still grasping the bundles of fabric. The moment his fingers touched her skin she flinched and tore her hand away.

"Don't..." she croaked, using the offended limb to tuck stray locks of hair behind her ear as she turned away.

Rin's reaction took Kakashi completely by surprise, he never once thought she would withdraw from him and it hurt him in places he had long forgotten existed until now.

"Rin, what's wrong?" He muttered dropping his arm back to his side. He dredged his mind to find answers to her icy attitude towards him and came away fruitless. He had no idea why she was acting this way; it wasn't like her.

He watched her squeeze her eyes closed as she wrapped her arm back around her clothes and shake her head.

"I ... I don't want to see you any more, Kakashi," she muttered bowing her head shamefully. Kakashi just stood there for what seemed like hours before he forced himself to blink. He found himself giggling a little despite the fact that what she had just said rocked him to the core. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing nor did he want to.

"What? Where did that come from?" he chuckled holding out a questioning hand. Rin glanced up at him. Her eyes were burning with something he couldn't translate as she began to chew on her lower lip.

"I've had a lot of time to think. And it ... _us_..." She hesitated, sighing dismally as she lowered her sights back to the floor. Kakashi noticed her shoulders tremble a little as she squeezed at the bundle in her arms. Suddenly she inhaled sharply, flicking her long hair over her shoulders with a swift flick of her head. Looking him straight in the eye with an expression as blank as a plain sheet of bamboo she continued. "It's not going to work. So I think it's for the best that we don't see each other anymore."

Her voice was flat and robotic as she seemed to stare through him. Kakashi was gobsmacked. Her words hit him like a blow to the stomach and he found himself struggling to even breathe. His head swam with questions with no answers as he took in what she was saying. Eventually he frowned, dropped his eyes and glared at the floor. He refused to retaliate, and maybe she was right, maybe it wasn't going to work. He didn't need her anyway. He had always done fine on his own, and he would do fine now.

"Fine. If that's what you want," he muttered. His body had gone into auto pilot at that point. He was too tired to try and reason with her without it escalating into a full blown fight. And he had no desire to fight with her. If this was the way she really felt, then that was fine by him, at least that was what he tried to tell himself.

"It's for the best, Kakashi," she murmured, her voice was a lot softer this time, bordering on a tone of pity. An awkward silence swamped the tiny room as they both stood there glaring at each other's shadows. Eventually Rin pushed herself up from the sofa and stalked past him, obviously intent on leaving without speaking again.

As she reached the door, Kakashi turned towards her. "Just answer me one thing, Rin," he bit out. He sensed her halt at the door and look towards him.

"When I kissed you, didn't that mean anything to you?"

That same strange quiet settled between them again as Rin seemed to think about her answer. From the corner of his eye, Kakashi saw her bow her head before lifting a hand and wiping at her face. She was crying.

"No," she said eventually, her voice breaking as she spoke.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the answer. He knew for a fact she was lying, but he held no desire at that point to do anything about it. His initial shock had been replaced by a hot rage that frothed in his gullet. He'd never felt like this before in his entire life and he hated how it was affecting his judgement. He wanted to beg her to stay, plead with her to make it better, but his male pride refused to let him do that. He sniffed at her as he turned away and walked towards the couch.

"You can leave now," he hissed. He heard a whimper escape her throat as she wrenched the door open and stormed out of the apartment. He could still hear her heels clipping at the tiled floor in the hallway and down the stairs. After a few minutes the silence returned and the rage he had felt earlier began to fizzle out of his system.

Kakashi dropped to the couch as his legs gave way, the battered springs squealing under his weight as he tried desperately to gather his thoughts. He could feel his heart pounding in his rib cage almost to the point that felt painful. He didn't quite understand what had happened or even why it had happened, all he knew right now was that he felt terribly ill as his stomach churned in time with the pulse he could now feel throbbing in his throat.

He sat for moment, simply staring at the floor as the event began to come together in his mind. The nausea tore at his insides and he could feel his hands trembling a little. He habitually planted both hands on his face, rubbing at his eyes with his fingers before dragging them down his cheeks. She was gone and by the sounds of it she had no intentions of coming back. He couldn't make sense of how he was feeling or how he was supposed to be feeling but he guessed that this must be what it felt like to have his heart broken.

* * *

Rin flew through the village, desperate to get home, to get back to her safe zone. The streets were mostly empty as the thunder clouds rolled in the heavens, threatening to spill their rain on Konoha at any moment. She grasped the laundry she had picked up to her chest tightly as she continued to run through the village.

Her mind was empty save for the need to feel safe again, just to be within the confines of her own home. Hell, being anywhere was better than being in the open right now. She could see the tall yellow apartment block getting nearer as she continued to run with her load towards it.

Before she knew it, Rin was grasping the railing and climbing the stairs to the second floor and before her brain had the time to contemplate what she was doing, she was already pushing the key into her door. That was the beauty of adrenaline and also its downfall; the motor functions took over and forced you to act, with or without conscious support.

Rin opened the door, stepped through into the darkness and closed it by slamming her back up against the wood. She stood there gasping for breath as she allowed her body to calm itself. A flash of lightening eluminated the room for a split second, closely followed by a loud rumble of thunder. She silently applauded herself for getting back when she did as fat drops of rain began to hit the windows in the small home. Looking straight ahead she was in full view of the canopy that accompanied the apartment. The rain was getting heavier by the second as bolts of brilliant blue danced across the skyline. This was the only thing about thunderstorms. They reminded her of him.

The storms were frequent in Lightening Country, it was what made the place live up to its name. She loved the sights of the lightening, simply because it reminded her of Kakashi. As silly as she thought it was herself, it was still a fact and the flashes didn't fail to bring him to the foreground of her mind.

Garbled memories of the event that had just changed her life trudged through her mind. The way she had spoken to him; like filth, the way he looked at her when she told him it was over. The sheer pain she could see in his eyes had all but torn her apart.

After her talk with Kuranai in the tea shop a few days ago, Rin honestly thought she was doing the right thing. She had hurt Kakashi so much already, she couldn't bare it if she had to put him through all that again. The endless questions had tormented her in the small hours forcing her to come to her decision.

What if she got sent away again? What if _he_ got sent away? What if it didn't work after all? What if she wasn't enough for him?

It had all been too much to bear. She had to end it, before she got in too deep, before something happened to rip them both apart at the seams.

She knew Kakashi was far more fragile than he let people believe and that one little photograph in his medical file had more than verified that for her. She had done that to him and there was no way she wanted to do it again, yet in trying to do the _right thing_ she had done just that.

She felt the muscles in her arms loosen and drop to her sides, the pieces of clothing she had grasped so relentlessly fell about her feet. She could feel her lips trembling as her eyes grew hotter and hotter but she made no effort to fight against the tears. The realisation of what she had just done hit her hard, no wonder he took it so badly. She didn't even explain herself to him.

Throwing her head back she collided with the door as she let her legs lower her to the floor. She could feel the grain of the wood scratching and pulling at her clothes as she slid down towards the carpet.

"What have I done?" She asked herself miserably before allowing a sob to escape her mouth. The tears came at that point as the room before her blurred from her vision.

As she collided with the floor, Rin drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Resting a cheek on her knees she let her body take over. The room began to glow an eerie green as her chakra absorbed her in a failing attempt to heal her, to ease her pain as she sobbed into her skirt. She could feel her hair furling upwards in the mists of her chakra; the feeling was like being underwater, as the skirt of her dress lapped gently at her face causing her tears to smear on her cheeks. Although the chakra did little to ease her sorrow, her regret, the coolness made her feel calm, made her feel protected, safe.

She loved him, more than she thought she could anything or anyone. And in a bid to save him she had decided to let him go but in doing so she had lost everything in the process. In hindsight she could have handled the situation so much better but the damage was done now and she had no idea how to repair it or if she could at all.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." She whimpered, shielding her head with her arms, the chakra embracing her once more as she allowed her cries to echo through the room.

* * *

Kakashi didn't know how long he'd been standing there, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. He simply stared at the door, soaked to the bone as the fabric of his clothes clung to his skin. Beads of rain water dripped from his hair, splattered to his face and dribbled down his cheeks. Each impact caused him to blink harshly but even then he felt nothing other than the anxiety building in his throat.

It had been a few hours since he had last seen her, and it was way past midnight now, so even if she was at home he doubted very much she would be awake. He had tried to sense her chakra through the door but having not had the rest he had promised himself his energy was wearing thin. He had wanted to wait for the storm to ease, but after watching it for goodness knows how long, it showed no signs of letting up. Hence why he was here now, completely soaked through and shivering from the draft that drifted past him.

Brief talks with Sakura while away had revealed where Rin had chosen to make her new home and as he stood here now, he wished he didn't know. Perhaps that would have been enough to deter him from acting on his own impulses. But it was too late now. He was here and he had a choice to make. Should he put his pride aside, or should he sit back and wait for her to come to him? Somehow he didn't think the latter was going to happen.

The courage to lift a hand and knock on the door came and went in flashes of conflicting demands in his own head. One voice demanded he take the matter into his own hands, to simply knock on the door and face the dangers within. The other, much louder part of him told him to leave, to walk away and never look back.

The only orders he was used to taking from his own body in times of high pressure was fight or flee. But this was no battle; this wasn't a means of life or death. Nothing was at stake here other than the torment of never knowing if he chose the cowards path or the fear of rejection.

He didn't understand the emotions that forced him to come here, and that frightened him more than any enemy he had ever faced. Kakashi wanted nothing more to just sit down and tell Rin how he felt, how he had felt for many years but even way back then, he had never found the right time or the right words. There were so many implications that had given him the perfect excuses to say nothing; his promise to his dead friend was a prime reason. So he'd merely sat back and let her slip through his fingers.

He had pushed her away, kept her at arm's length for so long to protect her from him, to protect himself from her, that it had become a compulsive habit. It wasn't until she was no longer there that he had come to realise just how much she actually mattered, to notice how she had affected him in so many little ways. It was the little ways that made the big differences. And this time was no different despite the fact that he had actually tried. Tried to show her what was going on in the labyrinth he called his mind. But it had all back fired ... story of his life. He swore this would be the last time he took any advice from Pakkun.

Kakashi stood staring blankly at the wooden panel as the puddle beneath him continued to grow around his feet, contemplating what life would have been if she had never returned. Things would have carried on the way they always had done, he would have been none the wiser; still mourning her death along with Obito's, still wishing he had done ... something ... anything. It would have been a lot simpler if she hadn't come home, but now he felt he couldn't function without her.

He had no words for her, there was nothing more he could say to make any of this any better but he knew that he couldn't live without her. There was no way he was willing to go through it all again; that piercing sense of loss and longing, nor the crushing weight of failure. The mere thought of losing her made his chest ache but he knew this wouldn't work. He knew she would see a hidden meaning that didn't exist behind the sentimentality of what he was willing to use in a last ditch attempt to make her see the truth. But it was worth a try ... wasn't it?

Having never been in a situation like this before, having feelings and emotions that he couldn't translate made him feel like he was losing his mind. The nausea that accompanied his thoughts of her was maddening, causing him to question himself with every step he took.

Blowing out a long sigh, Kakashi drove a hand into his pocket and grabbed the photograph he had torn apart his apartment to retrieve. He fingered the folds in the small item, eyeing over the ugly white cracks that had appeared in the print over time. The photograph was a simple one, taken by a passerby in the land of Tea. They had been teenagers then on a training course designed to build moral within the teams.

Rin had signed them both up as a means to "get away from it all" as she had so pleasantly put it, it had been more of a vacation to her. It was one of the rare pictures he owned of the pair of them where he hadn't worn the mask. Rin had asked him not to so he didn't, for her. With an arm hooked around her shoulders, his head turned slightly towards her as she beamed at the camera, to him it was a lover's embrace. With the hills' rolling forever in the distance, the picture was calming and serine. Kakashi had sat and stared at it many times, wondering why he let her go. It tormented him while bringing him a sense of peace all at the same time.

Kakashi couldn't recall a lot from the event as a whole, but he remembered that day like it had happened mere moments ago. Changes within himself has started to take place then, changes that made him realise that he cared for his female friend in a sense that he didn't truly understand. He always felt a pang of regret in his stomach when he thought back to that time. Because of his warped perspective of his feelings towards her, rather than question it, he had chosen to ignore it. It had been easier that way, but in hindsight, he felt it had been the wrong decision to make. Not that this was the first, or the last, bad decision he had ever made.

Before he had left his home and ventured out into the pouring rain, he had scribbled a note on the back. Turning it over in his hand, he read the words carefully noting how the rain water had smudged the ink if only a little.

The nerve to post the simple picture under the door dispersed from his being as quickly as it came. It wasn't going to work, so what was the point in even trying?

He shook his head a little at his own cowardice but his auto functions still began to carry him away from the door. He took a step back from the apartment entrance, feeling his sodden sandals squelch around his feet and crammed the picture back into his pants pocket. Stealing a glance down the hallway he prepared himself to turn and walk away when a loud click came from within the confines of Rins apartment, freezing him to the spot.

The door swung inwards as Rin came into view from the other side. She stopped suddenly with a small startled gasp, grasping something to her chest as Kakashi turned his head slowly to face her. She just stood there, a perplexed look on her face, almost like she was staring at a stranger. The expression hurt him a little, but he hadn't expected any different from her. The way she had spoken to him earlier that day had suggested she didn't want to see him again at all.

"Kakashi," She whispered, lowering what looked like two empty milk bottles from her chest to her stomach. Her expression melted into a saddened frown which stirred irritable knots of discomfort in Kakashi's gut. Her eyes looked a little sore which signified that she had been crying again. She seemed to relax a little as an unsettling silence sank between them.

Kakashi swallowed hard, clenching his jaw as he allowed his eyes to drift towards the floor. She didn't look particularly pleased to see him, but her expression at this point was so unreadable it was hard to determine what she was thinking at all. But he knew that he couldn't just walk away now, the gate to that path had closed the moment Rin had stepped through her threshold. He knew that if he was going to say something, anything, he had to it now or be forced to live with the fact that he could never have the only thing he had ever truly wanted.

Squeezing his eyes closed he braced himself, seemingly for a blow to the head as he began to speak.

"Rin, I don't know what I've done to hurt you, but whatever it is, I'm sorry. Give me this chance to put things right ..." He hesitated, half expecting her to interrupt. But she didn't. Opening his eyes he glanced upwards. Her expression hadn't changed but he saw she had stiffened again. Inhaling deeply Kakashi chose to continue.

"Let me put this right, because I've never had this chance before ... and I don't want to throw that away. Please?"

* * *

Again, a huge apology for making you all wait. Thank you for reading, Saphri x


	7. Heated Exchanges

Hi all! I bet you all thought I had abandoned this story. heh... sorry...

I've just been having some issues with my computer that's all so I haven't had the chance to sit and write it because I had to get rid of one my best word processors. Because of this there may be some grammar and spelling errors and i apologise so much for that (I don't have a beta you see _) but I still spent a long time getting all of this down.

I hope you all enjoy it anyway. More to come. Saph x

Naruto ain't mine

* * *

Crossing Rubicon's

Heated Exchanges

The rain hammered relentlessly against the window panes of the complex, the faint sounds of the water draining through the guttering making ghostly echoes run through Rin's ears. A light somewhere in the hallway flickered sending the tight corridor into sporadic periods of semi-darkness. She should inform the landlady about that, Rin thought absently.

She heard a baby crying somewhere in the near distance, but even then she was struggling to hear the words Kakashi was saying; if he was saying anything at all. His mouth was moving judging by what she could see via the shadows cast onto his mask. But she was finding great difficulty in making any sense of the noises he was emitting.

She was more than aware of how unfocused she was but making any attempt to grasp her mind and shake some sense back into herself was too much of a struggle. She was tired, too tired, after her shift at the hospital that day, hell, she was still recovering from her long trek back to the village. Not to mention the emotional battle she'd had with the copy nin mere hours before. The conflict still tormented her and she regretted every second of it…

Her brain began to fire on its own at that point; why was he even here after the way she had treated him? How did he know where she was living, she was almost certain she hadn't told him yet?

Her head overflowed with questions just as Kakashi looked up from the floor and fixed her with a perplexed stare before tilting his head slightly to one side. "Rin … are you even listening to me?" he grumbled. The tone of his voice carried a slight hue of annoyance which broke Rin out of her trance. She jumped a little at his question and looked him over again, noticing the odd sheen that clung to him. His hair hung strangely in long messy strands and she noticed a puddle forming at his feet, threatening to spill over the border of her doorway and onto her hardwood flooring. He was dripping wet through…

The horror of what she was seeing took over at that point as she quickly bent over, slamming the milk bottles she embraced so possessively before to the tiles of the corridor. She straightened her self, reached out and twisted her fingers into Kakashi's sopping wet vest causing the water within to squelch out and dribble down her knuckles. She saw his eyes widen dramatically, almost comically, before she wrenched him through the threshold of her apartment.

"Kakashi! Have you completely lost your mind? You're soaking! You'll catch your death walking around the streets in the rain, you idiot!" she scolded, spinning the silver haired sponge around on his feet and slamming the door closed with a swift shunt of her hip. He just stood there, staring at her with a wide eye and a rather amusing worried arch to his brow. It was clear to see that the highly skilled Jounin hadn't been expecting Rin's little outburst.

She released him and wiped her now wet hands roughly on her shirt leaving behind darkened patches of damp along her stomach. She looked up at him again in an attempt to fix him with an annoyed glare to find his eye roaming around her lounge. She noticed a slight tint of pink on his visible cheek, although Rin wasn't sure if that was because he was cold … or embarrassed. Either way she dropped her head and sighed in defeat causing him to focus on her again.

"Take your sandals off and leave them by the door…" She mumbled softly as she made her way past him towards the sofa that dominated the centre of the large room. "…and, for goodness sake, don't move! I don't want you tracking dirty water through my living room!" She bit out eventually.

Reaching the arm of the sofa where a neat pile of folded laundry lay, Rin glanced round at her first house guest. She found herself actually surprised that he was doing as he was told; simply removing his sodden sandals and placing them carefully on the brown foot mat at the door. The sight made her smile, even as she turned her attention back to the heap of clothes and linen on the sofa's arm.

Dragging out a pale blue bath towel from the pile she spun herself around and wandered back over to her drenched friend. She stood toe to toe with him as she reached up and gently began to pull the hitai-ate from his head. Kakashi didn't resist as she assumed he would, he merely closed his eyes and lowered his head to make her task easier. Her small smile widened a little at this simple gesture of trust, she knew that not everyone was privileged enough to see this side of him. It made her feel warm and wanted. It felt nice; not that she felt she deserved it after what happened back at his apartment.

If anything he should be screaming at her, reminding her of how stupid she was for walking out and saying the things she did, for making him feel like this. The thought made her pause as she lifted the headband from his head. Kakashi opened one dark eye, seeming to sense her hesitation and causing Rin to continue with her simple actions. He wasn't screaming, he wasn't angry with her at all … he thought he had done something wrong, and this made the whole situation a whole lot worse. He was the one that had come begging for forgiveness for something he didn't even do when it should have been her grovelling to him.

She placed the forehead protector over Kakashi's shoulder, (not seeing the sense to put it anywhere else seeing as it was wet and would only form a nasty puddle on herself or her furniture) and reached up to wrap the large towel around his now stringy hair.

She began to rub at his head vigorously, much how she would towel dry her own hair. Kakashi reached up towards her hands before hesitating half way and curling his fingers into his palm coyly. She heard him grunt in mild surprise as she felt his head being jerked from side to side under her hands.

"Hold still, I need to dry your hair or you'll get a headache," she chuckled at him. He didn't answer but he lowered his arms slowly back to his sides as he let her do her thing. Yet another indication of how much he actually trusted her, and it hurt her a little.

The situation brought fond memories to the front of Rin's mind; how she had tried to care for him during his time in the hospital, nursing his _new_ eye. She didn't do a lot for him, there wasn't much she could do, but she was there for him if he needed her. Plenty of tears were shed between the two of them and it was one of the only times Rin had ever seen Kakashi so … emotional. He had seemed so lost and broken back then but he had allowed himself to trust her, allowed himself to open up to her, they became so close … like family. It wasn't the happiest of memories but it was a period in her life that she didn't want to forget, not completely. And yet it reminded of what a bitch she had been recently as the guilt tapped sickly messages into her gut.

After a few moments of rough hair drying, Rin lowered her hands to his shoulders allowing the towel to fall with them around his neck. His hair fell about his face in fluffy wisps, it made him look insanely cute and a little vulnerable at the same time. It was still damp by the looks of it, but at least it wasn't soaking wet anymore.

He seemed to stare at his feet for a few seconds before his eyes flitted upwards and began to scan her face. She smiled warmly at him unable to resist the soft chuckle that blew from her nose.

"What am I going to do with you, huh?" she almost whispered, squeezing her hands gently into the base of his neck. Rin expected a sarcastic answer but instead he dropped his eyes back to the floor and furrowed his brow a little.

"Sorry…" Kakashi replied eventually with a small shrug. His expression pulled at her chest, it wasn't a nice feeling. She began to notice the dark circles under his eyes and he looked extremely pale, even for him. He looked awful, like he hadn't slept in weeks. She recalled at that moment that he had only returned from a mission that day, chances were that he wasn't as rested as he should have been.

"Kakashi… have you been to bed since you got back today?" she quizzed forcing herself back with a gentle push against the tall Jounin.

Kakashi continued staring at the spot on the floor he found so fascinating as he shook his head slowly. Needless to say that Rin wasn't at all surprised and she began to feel the guilt squeezing her stomach again. More than likely it was due to their exchange earlier that he hadn't had any sleep.

The medic regarded her old friend for a while, not quite sure what to say to him. She wanted to apologise, to tell him that his own guilt was misplaced and not for the first time. But after a whole lifetime of apologising for her own mistakes she felt the words themselves would be meaningless. She had spent most of her teenage years, praying to the Gods, apologising for the death of her friend, blaming herself for being useless and without meaning. Her self pity had dominated the majority of her life and it had taken a great deal of self teaching to drag herself out of it. Yet she could feel herself slipping back into old patterns again, she hated that about herself, always had…

It was after a few minutes that she noticed Kakashi shivering, though the vibration of his body was only slight it dragged her attention back to the issue at hand. He was still drenched and quite probably freezing his ass off.

Deciding that the inevitable subject of their feelings towards each other could wait a little longer, Rin pulled the towel from around Kakashi's neck, sparking his interest in her movements again.

"We need to get you out of those wet clothes or you're going to catch a cold. You don't want that do you?" Rin said softly, rolling the damp towel up in her arms as she turned around and made her way back to the sofa. She stooped over her laundry pile and pulled out a distinctive pair of dark blue pants before turning around and presenting them to Kakashi with a happy grin.

"And you're in luck! I just happen to have a pair of your pants in my collection of laundry," she chirped gleefully. She was going to return them at some point, but she didn't think she would be all that welcome at his place at the time she had found them amongst her own clothes. Good job too or he would have to sit around her apartment stark naked…

She watched Kakashi frown at her as he raised a hand and pointed to the garment in her hands. "What are you doing with those?" he asked flatly.

Rin inspected the pants before she shrugged at him. She wanted to joke about it, tell him that she had stolen them in a bid to lure him into her lair… but he didn't look in the mood for comedy. Not that this was the right time for that anyway.

"I guess your stuff got a bit mixed up with mine. I don't have a shirt you can wear though. I don't think anything I've got would fit you … and you're gonna have to go commando until your clothes are dry." Rin couldn't contain the little giggle that left her lips as Kakashi took the time to look down at himself before glancing back at her and arching an amused brow.

Holding out the piece of clothing to him, Rin motioned with her head to a closed door at the far end of the lounge. "The bathroom is through there. Go take your clothes off and I'll get you a clean towel and a hot drink. You look like you need it."

Kakashi motioned to take the garment from her, lifting a hand towards it, but hesitated again withdrawing from her as he lowered his head.

"Rin … We really need to…"

"Kakashi…" she interrupted softly. "I know why you're here and I know that I have some serious explaining to do. When you've changed we can talk about it. But not until then. Your health is a little more important to me right now. I still care about you … you know."

* * *

As Kakashi changed in her bathroom, Rin busied herself in her small yet pretty kitchenette. The kettle was steaming as the water boiled within while she towel dried a plate she used earlier in a lame attempt to fill her stomach. She hadn't really felt hungry at the time but she hadn't eaten all day. Even then she struggled to consume her meagre meal of dry toast to try and settle her stomach and ended up throwing most of it in the trash.

She placed the plate gently on the counter top, flipping the pink tea towel over her shoulder as the kettle clicked to the boil. She had prepared two mugs, each of them containing a single teaspoon of cocoa. She knew Kakashi wasn't one for sweet sugary things but the warm chocolate drink would help them both relax a little. She knew for a fact that she needed something to settle her nerves, and her stomach, but the copy nin needed the TLC a little more than she did right now.

She poured the steaming water from the kettle into one of the two mugs just as she heard the bathroom door click open and heavy footsteps approach the kitchen threshold.

"Feeling any better?" she asked as she placed the kettle back onto its holder.

"Yeah, thanks," Kakashi replied dully. He probably did feel a bit better, now that he was dry and a bit fresher than he was. But by the tone of his voice Rin doubted it made a huge difference to his state of mind.

She glanced over her shoulder to the semi naked man in the doorway. He stood a little awkwardly at the lounge entrance dressed in nothing but the clean pants she had given him and a clean cream towel draped over his shoulders. He didn't look as flushed as he did when he had first entered the apartment and he had gained back some of the natural colour to his face. In his hands he held a neatly folded pile of wet clothes as he scanned the area around him seeming to look for a place to put them.

"Uhm … what do you want me to do with these?" He asked quietly, holding his clothes up a little to her. Rin turned back to the mug she had filled with hot water and stirred it gently with the small tea spoon before dropping the utensil into the second mug. Picking up the hot drink she wandered over to where Kakashi stood and held it out to him.

"I'll swap you, give those to me and I'll hang them on the balcony," she said as Kakashi took the mug from her and handed her his pile of heavy clothing.

"You have a balcony?" Kakashi sounded almost amazed about the fact but Rin figured he would be. His apartment didn't even have any windows. It reminded her more of a cupboard than a home.

She walked past him, abandoning the preparation of her own drink as she began to make her way over to the double doors on the other side of the lounge.

"Uh-huh! I have a heater too so these should be dry by morning. If I don't start drying these now they'll start to smell funny. I don't want you wandering through Konoha smelling like a wet dog," she quipped with a small giggle.

"Wait … morning?" Kakashi questioned hurriedly, almost like he hadn't heard her properly. Rin knew exactly what he was getting at and tittered at him as she reached the large glass doors. Grasping the handle she turned towards him, feeling the dampness of his wet clothes soaking through her own and onto her skin. Looks like she would have to get changed too after hanging these up.

"Do you really think I would send you back out in this weather? Look at it, it's throwing it down still. This is going to last all through the night now," she scolded as she opened the door to the sheltered balcony area. She went to walk out into the open air before turning back towards her house guest who was still standing near the kitchen.

"You can sit down you know. Make yourself comfortable … my sofa is in a much better state than yours,"

* * *

After hanging up the still sopping clothing on the washing line on the balcony, Rin had re-entered the apartment and prepared her own drink. Both her and Kakashi had found themselves sitting next to each other, smothered by a cloud of silence as they both seemed to search for the words they wanted to say to each other.

The thick atmosphere reminded Rin of the first night she had spent at Kakashi's. Small talk was all she could muster then, not quite knowing how to act around him nor what to say, and this was no different. She knew they needed to talk about what happened, to set things right. But simply starting the conversation was getting harder and harder by the second. That was until Kakashi broke the silence.

"Rin, what happened? Have I done or said something to upset you?" He asked quietly. He was hurting, she could tell that without even looking at him. It was so rare to hear his emotions carry on the winds of his voice, but it was there, plain as day. He wanted her to know that he was in pain, and it made it so much harder for Rin to tell him why.

"No … no, you haven't done anything. It's just …" She shook her head irritably and sighed into her now tepid drink. Her reasons were valid ones, but she knew they would sound so stupid if she said them out loud. That she wanted to protect him, didn't want to hurt him again … didn't want him to hurt her … again.

"Just what?" he pressed leaning himself over in his seat and planting his elbows on his knees.

Rin felt her lips twitch as she tried desperately to compose herself and gain the courage she needed to open up. He should know why she did what she did, though she knew she could have handled it so differently.

"It's … it's me, alright? I'm the one with the problem, not you." her voice was a lot sharper than she meant it to be. Realising her mistake she wrenched herself from the sofa and stalked into the kitchen. She really didn't want to do this, not now. Why did he have to come here tonight? Why couldn't he have waited until she had sorted her own head out? Why did he have to be so fucking selfish?

She placed her mug on the side before planting her elbows next to it and dragging her fingers through her hair. Why did it have to be this hard?

She sensed Kakashi follow her, sensed him standing behind her and could feel his gaze pressing into the back of her head. She waited for him to speak, which eventually he did.

"I don't get it, Rin. One minute we're getting along great and the next minute you hate my guts. What's going on?" His tone was bordering annoyance, not that she could really blame him. He must be confused by it all. But even when she thought originally she was doing all this to protect him, she was beginning to realise that he was just an excuse, her reasons ran a little bit deeper than that.

"I don't hate you, Kakashi. I just don't think it's going to work…" she started before she was interrupted.

"But why? You haven't even given me a chance to prove anything to you!" He was starting to shout now. It had been a while since she had seen him lose his temper, but it was clear that he was starting to lose it with her. This in turn began to make her feel angry with him.

"Just tell me what the hell I've done to deserve this! For fuck sake, Rin!" He squalled impatiently. Rin spun herself around, slapping her palms on the work surface and glared at him. Kakashi was glaring back, he was pissed, be it with her or with the situation as a whole she wasn't sure but he was pissed either way.

"I've already told you! It won't work! I'd only been back a matter of days and we almost ended up in bed together! And you're telling me that was alright with you? I'm not some floozy that opens her legs for the first guy that shows her attention, Kakashi!" she shouted back. She could feel herself slipping again, her anger towards him frothing into the base of her throat.

She felt that her statement was a lie, though technically it was the truth.

There had been others that had showed her attention, found her attractive, wanted more than just her friendship. Yet she refused to let herself fall for any of them. Kakashi was the only one she had ever let get close enough to touch her as intimately as he had, to touch her being in a way she knew no one else could. She was still in love with him and she knew this would never change, but she had to protect herself. He had rejected her before, what if he did it again? What if she wasn't enough for him and he looked for someone else? If she let herself get too deep and he walked away she knew it would destroy her. She couldn't let that happen. No way, no how.

Kakashi's expression didn't change as he stood there and took it in. After a few seconds of regarding each other he dropped his gaze somewhat shamefully which caused that disgusting knot in Rin's stomach to tighten that little bit more.

"Why didn't you just say you didn't want me …?" he asked softly, not lifting his gaze to hers. She didn't know how to answer that. She had wanted him, more than anything. She still did. She had never wanted anything this desperately in her life but she couldn't shake that feeling that it just didn't feel right, not right now.

"I don't … I did want … I mean … Ugh, I don't even know anymore," she stammered irritably, turning herself back towards the counter top and resting her head in her hands. She felt she didn't know anything anymore. She felt so lost, confused and unfocused like she had just this second forgotten an important part of herself. Her feelings used to be so easy to control, so easy to understand but now … she just didn't know.

Though it hurt to be away from him - from home - when she first got sent away, the pain began to subside after a while and become more and more numb as time went on. She couldn't understand why it was all bubbling back to the surface now after all this time, why it was so difficult to keep under lock and key. If only he hadn't tried to kiss her in that beer garden, if only he hadn't actually kissed her before he left. Everything would be alright now, she could live her life happily burying everything into the back of her head and none of this would be happening. All she wanted was to get to know him again and yet she allowed herself to fall for him for a second time, and it hurt so much.

She lifted her head, hoping that the silver haired ninja would speak again, but he didn't. he seemed hurt at the notion that she didn't want him, as it seemed that - at the time at least - he had wanted her. If he didn't care about what could have been, he wouldn't be standing in the kitchen doorway now, would he? Maybe he deserved to know what was really going on inside her head. Kakashi had given her his everything, it was only right that she opened up too.

Rin lifted her head from her hands and crossed her arms on the work surface before taking in a shaky breath. "I did want you. You knew that, Kakashi. I've never wanted anything like I wanted you…" she started quietly.

Kakashi didn't respond, causing her to turn to face him again, pressing her back against the work top. She struggled to look him in the eye, she felt a little embarrassed but most of all she felt shame to what she was about to tell him next.

"I love you, I've never stopped loving you. But when I went away, and I became immersed in my work, it became easier to deal with, I guess. I thought I was getting stronger, growing up. You know, handling myself better?" She spoke quietly, hoping that he was listening and feeling herself welling up. She couldn't help it. Her eyes grew hotter and her breathing shallower as she tried in vain to take control over her tears.

She looked up at him suddenly to see his expression had changed from sheer anger and frustration, to a kind of sorrow. She took another shaky breath of air as she willed herself to continue.

"But when I came back so did all those old feelings. I thought at first that it was something else, something new. But it wasn't." Rin heard her own voice crack as she lowered her head shamefully and managed to blink back her tears. "I knew then that I hadn't changed at all. I hadn't grown or evolved and I was so ashamed of myself. I still loved you, and I couldn't convince myself otherwise … I've never wanted anything so badly in my whole life."

Rin chanced a glance his way again. Kakashi looked completely stunned, like he had just that second taken a blow to the stomach. He shook his head eventually as his eye scanned the floor.

"I don't understand … If … if you've felt like this all along then why is what happened such a huge problem? Why do you keep saying that we can't make this work?" His voice was unusually high in pitch, he sounded so confused and the bewildered look in his eye mimicked his tone. He seemed so upset by what she just told him, but he deserved to hear it, no matter how painful it may be. The truth hurts, that was a fact.

Rin regarded him for a second, feeling the tears returning and having no will to stop them. Her lips trembled as the room began to blur from view. "Because it wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't supposed to happen like this," Rin whimpered.

She squeezed her eyes shut, beginning to feel her entire body trembling as the tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. A sob escaped her mouth causing her to instantly slap her hand over her lips. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to cry in front of him, to lay her weaknesses on a plate at his feet. But she just wasn't strong enough to stop it… she just wasn't strong enough.

"I came home for a fresh start, to begin a new life. And prove not only to you but to myself how much I've changed but I've fallen into that same trap I was in before … and I can't get out … I can't get out," she cried raising her arms and twisting her fingers into her hair as though it would help to maintain a little composure. She knew she was rambling, to the point of becoming hysterical but she couldn't stop.

"…and I'm scared, Kakashi. Everything was happening so fast and I lost control of it … and … and I'm so scared it's all going to wrong and I don't know how to stop it … I… I don't…" Rin gasped at the sudden contact of a pair of warm strong hands on her shoulders. She glanced upwards, her eyes sore and blurry, and tried to focus on the ominous shape that loomed over her.

"Stop it, Rin. That's enough," Kakashi murmured from above her. "That's enough…"

She could still feel herself trembling in his grip as she gazed up at him, his image a messy blur as her eyes struggled to focus. The tears had stopped but her sadness remained. Lowering her head pitifully she whimpered again. She felt so foolish that he had to step in and stop her in her tracks.

She breathed in deeply to calm herself and it seemed to have an effect, a small one, but an effect none the less. She swallowed hard before she shifted her sights back to his face. He was still looking at her with that sad onyx eye of his.

"I'm really sorry, Kakashi … I suck at this, don't I?" She mumbled at him. She watched him frown at her before he responded, "What makes you say that?"

She looked away again, swallowing hard as she discovered the words she had wanted to say all along.

"I just … I'm terrified of losing you. You mean everything to me and I don't want to throw it away. I don't want to lose you." Rin felt herself blush with her own words, they sounded fine when she organised the speech in her head, but she couldn't help but think they sounded a bit pathetic when she spoke them. She half expected the copy nin to burst out laughing when she had finished, but instead he stroked his hands from her shoulders down her arms and back again tenderly.

She glanced upwards, greeted by that warm crooked smile that never ceased to make her heart jump into her throat as he spoke with that smooth deep voice of his, "Rin, I'm not going anywhere."

The smile that pulled at her mouth felt like it filled her entire face. It was all she needed to know right now. He was willing to wait for her, wait until she was ready to move on with the rest of her life. She didn't need him to say it, his smile was enough.

She reached towards his waist with both arms and all but fell into him, wrapping her arms around his strong frame in a firm embrace. Kakashi adjusted himself too, shifting his hands from her shoulders to the top of her head as Rin rested her cheek on the towel still draped over his shoulder. They leaned in to each other, knowing that everything was alright again, knowing that they loved each other, just knowing that being together was enough for now.

"I love you," she whispered pressing herself against him more snugly, never wanting to let him go again and not really concerned whether or not he heard her this time.

* * *

Morning seemed to come around quicker than Rin expected, the sunlight that shone through the blinds in her room hit her eyes like a shuriken to the head. Groaning she sat herself up in her bed and stretched her arms above her head.

Yawning loudly, Rin hooked both legs over the edge of the bed and used them to pull her to the side before getting to her feet and walking over to the door. She grabbed her yellow bath robe from the hook on the door and pulled it on sleepily before opening the door and stepping into the lounge.

The sofa bed she had set up for Kakashi the night previous had been folded away, the bed linens she had given him stacked in a neat pile on the arm of the sofa. She looked towards the glass doors that led to the balcony to see that all of Kakashi's previously wet clothes had disappeared. She secretly hoped that once he got home he changed and got them washed. Nothing worse than wearing clothes that have been drenched by rain water.

Rin hadn't expected to see him this morning, he had said he would be leaving early but it was actually a nice surprise that he had left everything tidy for her. She was a little disappointed that she didn't hear him leaving, she would have waved him off, or at least said goodbye.

She absently wandered over to the sofa and reached for the linen, pausing midway when she discovered a small scrap of paper with her name scrawled on it. She frowned at it as she picked it up and turned it over in her hands. It was Kakashi's handwriting, she could tell that a mile away. His handwriting had always been appalling…

The paper was folded, concealing the note within. Rin didn't quite know why but she felt rather nervous about reading it. She wondered if he had sat up all night thinking about the things they had said to each other the night before, about how horrible she was to him … nah … Kakashi would tell her to her face if she had done something he didn't like. He had found out where she lived off his own back and come to see her didn't he?

She opened the note and a smile tugged at each corner of her mouth almost instantly. The note was simple, and totally Kakashi:

_Rin, _

_Thank you, _

_K x_

That was it. Just "Thank you." She didn't really know what he was thanking her for; the bed? The fact that they had sorted out their differences? Drying his clothes? Either way, the note made her day and she continued to stare lovingly at it as she sauntered into the kitchen to fix herself a drink.

* * *

Coffee in hand, Rin did her usual thing and walked out onto the balcony area to take a good look at the morning in all her sunny glory. After the storm, the morning air smelled musky and summery. It was a wonderful smell and Rin didn't think twice about sniffing greedily at the air as she strolled over to the banister that bordered her little makeshift garden.

She had planned to buy some potted plants, maybe even a window box, just to make this part of her home a little more colourful. Crossing her arms over the wooden beams and sipping at her mug she drank in the sights before her. She could see the entire village from up here, the hustle and bustle of the crowd heaved beneath her, it was so good to be home…

She stood there for a while, simply admiring the new day as the breeze floated over her. It really was a lovely day. Just then something moved out of the corner of her eye. She turned her attention to the object that lay moving slightly in the gentle breeze, trapped in the corner between the apartment and the balcony.

It looked like a piece of paper, probably rubbish that had blown up from the ground. She walked over to it, bent down and picked it up.

It was a photograph. A very old photograph judging by the thick white cracks that ran across it. She struggled to see the picture to start with, it looked like it had been screwed up and unfolded many times and it felt stiff, like it had been wet at some point. And then she saw it, her eyes widening dramatically. This picture was of her and Kakashi.

They both looked so different in the photograph she didn't even recognise them within the worn print of the picture. It _was_ an old picture, and she could only vaguely remember where it was took. The land of Tea. She had to have been around fifteen or sixteen years old in the picture, and Kakashi not much older than her with his arm draped around her shoulders. He wasn't wearing his trademark mask, which surprised Rin a little. Kakashi despised having his picture taken at the best of times never mind without his mask on.

Rin tried to think at that moment where the picture could have come from, she had never seen this photograph before (although she vaguely remembered posing for it) and Kakashi hadn't been on the balcony the night before. Gasping a little as she worked it out, she realised that it must have fell out of one of his many pockets when she hung up his wet clothing. She smiled a little at the thought that he carried her picture around with him.

Habitually, after staring at the picture for what seemed like hours, Rin turned it over to discover another one of Kakashi's childlike scrawls on the back. It had been smudged, the ink had begun to run into the fold lines, but it was still readable. Rin found herself reading it twice over, just to make sure she hadn't mistaken what he was trying to say. She felt her self well up a little as she smiled back down at the picture of her and her oldest friend again while getting to her feet. She turned it over again and read the little message one more time; it read _"~mine ever since this day~"._


	8. Confidence on a New Level

Crossing Rubicon's

Naruto aint mine any grammar and spelling fluffs are :P

* * *

Chapter 7, Confidence on a New Level

* * *

The morning shone down on the sacred grounds of the dead as the gentle winds played with the leaves of the trees that surrounded it. Birds twittered in tune with the summers day and the clouds listed lazily across the sky. It was a glorious day.

Kakashi gazed towards the heavens, lost in his own thoughts of the past. He didn't know how long he had been standing there and he didn't much care; he never did. It wasn't uncommon for him to think about events long gone when he visited this place, it happened more often than not. But his train of thought on this sunny morning was a little different to what he usually thought about. His eyes weren't trained on anything in particular, but his mind was locked in a mental battle of wills; not knowing which way was right and which was wrong. The sense of shame had been with him the moment he realised that he wanted more from Rin, wanted to be more than just her friend. He had managed up until now to push it away, a habit he had found he was all too good at sometimes.

He hadn't really slept the night previous, he hadn't expected to in spite of how tired he felt and still was. Instead his mind ticked on overtime forcing him to question his very motives and if what he was doing was the right thing at all. The only way he could gain any kind of confirmation for his actions was to come here. It was the only way he could find any inner peace, despite the fact that he knew he wouldn't gain any real answers to his questions. It was selfish of him - he knew this - but he felt it would make him feel better.

His thoughts drifted to Rin at that point and how hurt she seemed the night before. Why hadn't she simply told him how frightened she was? Was she that scared of how he would react or what he would say? She needn't have been.

Kakashi had felt a little hurt that she hadn't trusted him enough with her feelings at first, but he knew that her defences caused her to act that way. If he was honest with himself he figured that - had the shoe been on the other foot - he probably would have acted the same way. He had once felt it was safer to reject what was causing the problem, as opposed to embracing it and allowing it to solve itself. He had found out very recently that this tactic wasn't always the best one. By sparing his own emotions he was actually hurting someone else. All actions have a consequence. It was just a shame he hadn't thought about that sooner.

Closing his eyes Kakashi bowed his head towards the memorial stone that bore the names of those dead or missing. He sighed deeply, unable to shake that crushing sense of guilt that pressed on his chest since the night before. He had been angry with her, for misleading him, for making him believe there was something there between them and then suddenly telling him there wasn't.

He had felt hurt, used and betrayed by the one person he had given everything to. He couldn't leave it as it stood then, which was why he walked in the rain to see her. Needless to say he was very glad he did. Even so, he felt guilty for upsetting her, for making her cry.

To say it was a relief to find that Rin did indeed have feelings for him, stronger feelings than he had first imagined, was an understatement. It was her confession of fear that had pulled at his heart, her fear of what they were developing between them crumbling and turning to dust. Kakashi could relate to how she felt. He had honed the same fear within those moments he had been stood at her apartment door, soaked to the bone. He felt a prickling of heat rise to his concealed cheeks at the thought. He couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. Turning up on her doorstep looking like a drowned rat wasn't one of his smoothest moves.

He hummed a chuckle as he remembered Rin's wide astonished eyes when she saw him stood there. He hadn't the faintest idea how she would react to his presence after the spat at his place, but it was so like her to mother him the way she had done. She had always been there before she was sent away. Had always been there … taking care of him.

It was little moments like that; the hair drying, making drinks, making sure he was warm enough and more importantly her company that he had missed about her in the past. That aspect of her hadn't changed one bit but something she had said about herself struck him harder than anything else;

"_I haven't changed at all … I've fallen into the same trap I was in before and I can't get out … I was so ashamed of myself… it wasn't supposed to be this way."_

Rins torn voice rang in his head as he recalled the confession. She was wrong. She had changed in more ways than she cared to give herself credit for. Kakashi grimaced at the thought, kicking himself mentally for not reassuring her at that point, informing her that she had evolved, that she had grown up and was _handling herself better_ as she put it.

She wasn't a girl anymore, she wasn't clingy and in constant need of attention from him. She held herself so differently, he had noticed this about her in the first hours of her return to the village. She was still a little shy, as always, and her self-confidence was still touch and go. But she was stronger than she used to be, she wasn't so easily led and she knew where she wanted to be in life. This was just a few of her aspects Kakashi had found himself admiring about her, not to mention her beauty.

She had blossomed into this stunning young woman with a powerful career and a high knowledge of her craft. It was so unlike the Rin he used to know, always worrying about what she would do with her life, always in constant need of reassurance and comfort. She wasn't like that anymore and it was so refreshing to see. She was still the same girl he had gradually fallen for all those years ago, but she was so different. But in a good way.

He should have said something last night, but he guessed that it was something, at least, that everything was now in the open. There would be other chances to catch her on her own and tell her what he really thought. If she really wanted to hear it that was.

Despite the tears she shed, Kakashi was glad they had the chance to talk about it. At least he knew where he stood now. He was okay with the fact that he was the one that had been moving a little too fast, so now was the time to take a step back and just … let things happen as they happen. It wouldn't have mattered really if she just wanted to "be friends". The one thing he feared the most was her utter rejection. He felt himself smile at the thought that he could now lay that fear to rest.

Perhaps he had taken Pakkun's advice a little too literally, even though he was begrudgingly admitting to himself that the pug had been right all along.

Opening his eyes, Kakashi focused his attention on the memorial stone seeking out the only name he came to see, that he ever came to see; Uchiha Obito. Kakashi would have given anything in the world to talk to him right now. Instead he had to settle with speaking to his memory, hoping that he would find the answers he so desperate needed. This wouldn't be the first time he had sought _advice _from Obito, but this was a delicate matter and Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little awkward asking for guidance this time. Even so, there was no one else he could go to, Rin would listen, but her view was biased, he needed to speak with someone else, someone he knew would understand, despite the fact that they had passed on.

"Obito," Kakashi began quietly. "I'm a bit lost right now and I'm hoping that you could … you know … help me out here." He finished with a shrug, lowering his sights to grass at his feet.

Of course there was no answer, not that Kakashi expected one from heaven, that was stupid. But he stood silent for a moment, hoping that his request would reach the spirit of his dead team mate. Even if he couldn't answer him, perhaps he could just listen, if he was able to listen wherever he may be.

He shifted his weight from one foot to another, taking in a deep breath so he could continue.

"I know you loved Rin, you told me you loved her. And this is why I need advice on what I should do next." Kakashi felt his own voice wither into a murmur and he felt the summer breeze still to nothing sending the entire area into an eerie calm.

Kakashi regarded the new mood that had sank into the clearing, wondering if his plea was being heeded after all. He dismissed this thought after a few moments. So the wind had stopped, so what?

He took the chance to quickly glance around the area. He was still alone, which was no surprise at this time of day, but a strange shiver shot up the back of his neck turning his blood cold. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. The atmosphere was a little chilling, and it wasn't like anything he had experienced before, but he willed himself to continue regardless. He needed to speak with the fear that he would go crazy if he didn't.

"You made me promise, all those years ago, to protect her and I told you I would … with my life, if I remember correctly. You know I meant every word and I told Rin the exact same thing but I thought, for these past ten years that I'd failed. Not just you, or Rin, but myself too. To see her on my doorstep again was … beyond words. But you should already know all this, right?" Kakashi paused again, as if waiting for a response. The area was still deathly quiet and he absently noticed that the birds had stopped singing.

Kakashi stepped towards the stone, shoving his hands in his pockets regarding the pebbles at the base of the memorial with a slight interest. He sighed again, turning away slightly as he thought about how to phrase what he wanted to say next. He felt the frustration creep into his gut, causing him to frown a little. He twisted his lips beneath his mask and began to tighten the muscles in his hands in a bid to find the words he needed. He never thought that having this conversation would be so difficult, even though, technically, he was talking to himself.

Just then a gust of wind, as warm as the day itself, blew from the trees ahead and swept over him. Kakashi raised his head at the sudden contact of the breeze on his face. It felt so strange, like someone was touching him. He heard voices passing his ears, like whispers, loud enough to be recognised as voices but not clear enough to hear what was being said to him. There wasn't a soul nearby yet the sound was so distinctive, someone was talking to him.

_Obito? _

The breeze floated through him, playing his hair at its whim which caused the copy nin to close his eyes and almost lean against it. The feeling was so strange, so foreign yet so soothing. The anticipation he could feel in his stomach began to melt away as a sense of calm began to over take him. It was nothing he had ever felt before, yet it felt so nice, so warm and welcoming.

As the wind began to die Kakashi suddenly found the will to speak as the words he was searching for popped into his head. He opened his eyes and focused his lazy eye back on the stone.

"I guess, what I want to ask is … is it wrong to want to be more than just Rin's body guard? Would it be wrong of me to take her from you, Obito?"

The area stilled again, that sickly quiet drifting back into the clearing. Kakashi didn't like the way it made him feel; exposed and vulnerable. It felt disgusting and it caused the nausea to creep into his gullet. The feeling didn't last, he needed to continue.

Eventually he bowed his head turning a little to the side. "I love her, Obito. And she loves me, but I don't know what to do. Help me … please?" he whispered almost shamefully. He hadn't wanted to admit it, not even to himself but he just couldn't fight it anymore. He wanted her more than anything, wanted to give her everything he had to offer her, he loved her and had done for a long time.

Kakashi stood there, waiting, for what, he wasn't sure but he waited regardless hoping, mentally pleading for some kind of answer. After a few moments the gentle wind motioned through the clearing and the birds in the trees gradually sparked up their song. The calm that had once settled there evaporated just as quickly as it had settled before.

Was this it? Was this his "answer"?

Kakashi had never been particularly spiritual in nature, but he felt that very same sense of calm and peace now that he felt when the wind willed him to speak. He couldn't think of anything else it could be. That wind had been the voices of the dead and Kakashi hoped that Obito's voice had been one of the many whispers that had passed him.

Turning back to the memorial he placed his palms together before him and bowed towards the large stone that held on to all those memories of lost souls. "Thank you, Obito," he murmured.

* * *

Rin reached blindly towards the glass of water that rested just above her paper work. Grasping it she drew it to her mouth as she sat up in her seat and tapped the end of her pen on the desk. She took a quick sip of the cool liquid before setting it back down on the coaster and slouching back over the wooden table.

The only sound that reached her ears was that of her scribbles on the paper and her own breaths. It was always quiet down here in the pathology department. Deathly quiet.

It was so rare to hear anyone other than the kindly mortician, Akita, and her assistant walking down the porcelain corridor. Some people would think it a little unnerving considering the whole purpose of the department but this was just how Rin liked it. No crowds of families, doctors or medics to push through when leaving the office and no one asking mindless questions about this and that when you had work to do. It was peaceful here and she wouldn't want it any other way.

She could hear the clock above the door ticking idly which sparked her interest and caused her to look up at the time.

"Twenty past five?" she muttered to herself in mild confusion. The last time she had looked at the clock it had only been lunch time.

"Huh, time flies when you're having fun," she chuckled softly.

She recalled the dinner date she had arranged with herself when her stomach emitted a low pitched growl suggesting - quite strongly - that she got off her backside and had something to eat. Rin stretched her arms above her head and groaned when the joints in both shoulders popped back into place.

"Man, I'm falling to pieces…" she mumbled as she raised herself carefully from her chair and began to wander over to the door.

Upon stepping through the thresh hold Rin contemplated what her stomach fancied for lunch, or rather, dinner seeing as it was way past lunch time. She hummed delightfully at the thought of something hot and delicious as she made her way through the porcelain corridors. She was quite looking forward to a peaceful meal that she hadn't prepared herself.

* * *

Unfortunately the ladies behind the cafeteria counter didn't have a lot to offer in terms of edibility. It was either a meagre salad with a few crouton type things scattered over the top or what she could only assume was fish soup. Neither looked very tasty but the soup had an aroma about it that wasn't particularly pleasing to the nose. It certainly didn't smell like anything she had ever eaten before. Needless to say that Rin settled with the salad and stale bread chunks much to her dismay.

After paying far too much Ryo for her small and unappetising meal along with a small mug of tea, Rin took her tray and wandered towards a small table next to a large window. It seemed that summer was coming to an end in Konoha, it was already started to get dark outside.

Along the way she spotted a rack full to bursting with an assortment of magazines. She stopped before them and leaned in closer to take her pick. There was a collection of medical magazines along with the usual "Shinobi Plus" paper and various others along those lines. Rin had read enough medical and ninja related books, magazines and articles to last her a life time. Even though it was always good to keep studying and remain on top of the game she opted for a woman's "talk" paper instead. Just something mindless to take her mind off the taste of the bad food she was about to consume.

Sitting at the table she had chosen out before, Rin set both her tray and her reading material onto the clean surface. She grimaced a little as she gingerly picked out the nasty looking croutons from her dish of messy salad and tossed them into the tray. It had been less than ten minutes ago that she was looking forward to this, now she was beginning to wonder why she had even bothered at all.

She sighed dismally as she flicked open the magazine and picked around the greenery in her dish with a plastic fork.

The minute Rin rested her cheek in the palm of her hand her mind began to drift away from her. It went to an inevitable place; Kakashi. This man had stolen her heart and not for the first time… though she didn't actually remember him giving her heart back to her at any point. Metaphoric as it was it would have been the polite thing to do.

Rin never really knew what first attracted her to Hatake Kakashi, it wasn't his _charming_ personality that was for sure. When she thought back to when they were part of Team Minato he was a bit of an asshole and it wasn't until way later that she actually realised why. He didn't speak all that often and when he did it was usually a callous remark about how both her and Obito needed to "improve" or stay out of his way. And yet she had loved him still. She'd found it pretty astonishing how he had changed so dramatically after the death of their team mate. Obito must have woken something up inside of him to want to make that change. It was nice to see a different side to Kakashi, but a crying shame it had happened under such traumatic circumstances.

She could still remember the first day she had ever met him. She recalled him being very small; a mere puff of silver on a pair of spindly legs. He had stood at the gate holding the hand of his father; Hatake Sakumo if she remembered right. Kakashi's father was quite scary at the time, he was huge … a behemoth of a man with a reputation to match. Well… that was until his supposed "failure" on a mission. Rin didn't remember all that much from that time, just that Kakashi wasn't around a lot. When he was there he was taunted and bullied by the other kids at the academy. Rin felt herself grimace at the memory and kicked herself mentally for not having the courage to stick up for him.

All she had ever felt for him in the beginning was pity. He had no mother from what she could recall and he had been a bit of a strange fish when he first started the academy. She couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him.

If she remembered correctly Kakashi had started attending the ninja academy a good year or so after she did. Which she now found quite weird considering is prodigal status at the time. Maybe he was home schooled before his mom passed away. Rin wasn't certain that this was a fact (and she had no intentions of asking him something so sensitive) but home schooling wasn't uncommon amongst ninja clans, especially if the student was an only child. She hadn't stood a chance at such a thing. Both of her parents had been Jounin and she very rarely saw them never mind have them teach her.

Rin's thoughts about the past very quickly turned towards the heated exchange of the night previous. Embarrassment was the first thing that came to mind at how melodramatic she felt she had been. An ugly flush filled her face causing her to instinctively lower her head in an attempt to hide it. Not that there were many people in the cafeteria area to hide it from.

She was more than relieved that her oldest friend seemed to understand though. That was all she really wanted, for Kakashi to see things from her perspective. She hadn't spoken to him since then and she secretly hoped he still felt the same.

She remembered him standing in her kitchenette door way wearing nothing but the pants she had given him and a towel around his shoulders. It was sights like that that made her want to take up smoking. She licked her lower lip absently as her minds eye traced back over those finely toned abs and that slight dusting of hair which led down to his …

"Hi, can I sit with you?" a shrill yet recognisable voice interrupted.

Rin stiffened in her chair as she spun her head around to gape at the culprit responsible for dragging her away from her fantasy. Looking back at her was a very pretty pink haired girl wearing a long white medical coat. The smile on her lips was warming and caused Rin to smile back instinctively. Suddenly realising who it was she was looking at Rin quickly repositioned her self in her chair and brushed down the collar of her shirt. She couldn't help it, but she felt like she had just been caught doing something she shouldn't.

"Oh! Hello, Sakura," Rin replied hurriedly as she pushed her thoughts to the chambers at the back of her head. She offered a hand to the chair opposite her. "Please, be my guest."

Sakura's smile widened a little as she trotted over to the chair and plonked her self into the seat. She gently placed her tray on the table which contained the exact same pathetic meal as Rin's.

Rin released a slow breath of relief. It looked like Sakura hadn't really noticed her daydreaming, or if she had she had no interest in it.

"Slim picking's at the feeding grounds today, huh?" Rin grumbled cupping her hands around her still hot cup of tea.

"Tell me about it! I was gonna come down about two hours ago but I got caught up in something else and completely forgot about it," the candy topped medic complained as she shook her head and poked at her meal distastefully.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Rin desperately fought for something to say to the young girl. The older woman had never been very good at small talk. She didn't know the young Haruno Sakura all that well and by the information Kakashi fed her about the girl she had quite a temper.

Eventually she mustered the courage to speak while trying to distract herself and Sakura from the fierce blush that was now creeping across the bridge of her nose.

"So, what are you doing here so late? Didn't you just come back from a mission the other day?" Rin asked curiously before shoving a mouthful of soggy lettuce into her mouth. The putrid bitterness of the damp leaf hit the back of her throat almost immediately but she managed to choke it down confidently at the risk of completely embarrassing herself. The last thing she wanted is for one of Kakashi's disciples to see her gagging on her dinner…

Sakura glanced up at her with a knowing smile. "Back shift. I swear Shizune is worse than Tsunade used to be," she chuckled looking back to her salad and poking it again. "I was kind of hoping for a couple of day's off, but you know how this job goes."

"Hmm, all too well I'm afraid," Rin replied quietly. She placed her plastic fork down next to her bowl as her appetite skipped away. She would rather starve than eat another bite of her expensive dinner. It must have been left out for hours. She would take her chances with the grocery store on the way home.

"Well, I'm really sorry to say that I have to go. My paper work isn't going to complete itself," Rin sighed dully as she stood up from her seat.

She wished she could spend more time with the young girl and get to know her a little better. Sakura was a nice girl when all was said and done and Kakashi seemed to think of her as the little sister he never had. Having a little more involvement with his team would be nice. But as she had stated moments ago, she had important work to do, no matter how mundane she found it.

Rin picked up her tray and the unread magazine from the table before turning to Sakura who looked up at her almost sadly.

"It was nice seeing you again, Sakura," she said softly before turning and walking towards the counter.

"Hey, wait I wanted to ask you something!" the young girl hollered from the table. Rin turned back towards her in mild surprise. She hardly knew this girl and yet she wanted to talk to her? She hoped to the Gods that she wasn't going to ask anything about her and Kakashi. She would have no idea what to say if she did. She had been informed by her silver haired friend that she had been asking questions, albeit innocent ones. But Rin didn't like being put on the spot. Interrogation wasn't one of her strong points; be that on the giving or receiving end.

"Uhm, I was wondering if you wanted to come training with us tomorrow afternoon. Kakashi Sensei wants to meet up at training ground three for a sparring session."

"Oh, I don't know… he hasn't mentioned anything to me so…"

"Please? It was really fun last time. Besides… it sucks being the only girl in the group."

Sakura smiled at her again pleadingly as Rin thought about the request. Kakashi had organised the training session and he hadn't invited her. Chances were that he just wanted his own team there but she saw no harm in tagging along even if it was just to watch.

She twisted her lips thoughtfully before shrugging her shoulders and smiling back at the pretty girl sat at the table. "Oh, why not. I'm sure Kakashi won't mind me being there," she quipped. She saw Sakura's face light up at her response which warmed her up on the inside. She was a nice girl and Rin wanted nothing more to be a little more involved in Team Kakashi. Even if it was at a distance.

"So what time did he say?" Rin asked.

"He told me twelve o' clock."

"Right. That means about half past two. I'll see you there then!" With that said Rin turned to leave once more before finding her self turning back again.

"Oh, and, Sakura?"

The pink haired medic looked up from her dinner and smiled again as Rin began to speak. "Thank you… for the invitation."

* * *

Kakashi approached the large steel gates that concealed the training field behind it. The gates were ajar allowing him to merely shift his stance in order to step through the gap. He did so with ease just as his keen eye spotted three familiar shapes milling about the centre of the clearing.

Kakashi had chosen this particular training field because of the vast woodland it provided. Plenty of places to hide, plenty of opportunities to sneak up on naïve little Jounin. He hummed a chuckle to himself as he stepped towards his sparring partners.

"Yo," he called, lifting one hand out of a pocket and waving towards them. He could tell by their body language (all of them apart from one that was) that they were more than a little annoyed with him.

"Why are you always late? Why bother giving us a time to meet when you turn up when you damn well feel like it?" squealed the younger of the two girls. She was standing forward jutting her accusing finger at him. Kakashi laughed at her gesture and held up both hands defensively stopping in his tracks.

"Sorry, guys. There was an old lady who needed…"

"Stop lying! You do this every time, Kakashi Sensei! It's getting pretty boring!"

"Well, you've been training with me for the best part of five years. I thought you would've gotten used to it by now."

Sakura just stood there, staring at him with her mouth open. The sight was beyond amusing; it was down right hysterical. She had nothing to throw back at him and he had to fight the urge to laugh in her face. Getting Sakura angry never got old.

"Anyway, Sakura, I see the plan to lure Rin here worked like a charm," he deadpanned turning his attention to the woman sitting on the grass between his two former students.

He watched both Sasuke and Sakura look towards Rin who was now getting to her feet from the grass and then back to him.

She shot him a questionable look and tittered under her breath. "Excuse me? You got Sakura to _lure_ me here? She hardly used bait! I wanted to come seeing as you couldn't be bothered to invite me yourself, jackass!" Rin bit out.

Kakashi felt a hot knot tighten in the base of his gut at the tone of her voice. She really didn't realise how sexy she looked when she was ticked off. That and the fact that she was wearing the same outfit she wore during their game of hide and seek not so long ago. He allowed his eye to rove over her form drinking in the way her flak vest hugged at her slender waist and hips. She looked really good, but he wasn't about to tell her that any time soon. Not during the training session anyway. Treading lightly was the best course of action that Kakashi had devised since he had last seen her in her apartment.

"Now now, I knew Sakura would see you first, so I merely asked her to invite you. Although when you find out what the training is you may begin to wish you had turned it down," he drawled darkly.

He watched Rin shift her stance, cocking her leg slightly and planting her hands on her hips. She looked confident enough. Although as he drove his hand deep into the right pocket of his pants to retrieve the prop for this session he doubted her pride would show so dominantly.

He pulled out his hand and dangled the two old bells he had used countless times and swung them slightly to hear the distinctive chink as they clunked together on their lengths of string.

"What? Not this again?" Sakura wailed, scraping both hands through her pink hair.

"Don't you think we're a little advanced for this, Kakashi? This is Genin rank training," Sasuke complained his voice the same mono drone it always was.

Kakashi felt himself grin beneath his mask at the two youngest of his troupe. But he felt it widen still at the sight of his old team member. Her reaction was exactly what he had expected.

The colour in Rin's face had drained to a pasty white and if her features had dropped any more Kakashi feared her face would simply slide off her head and hit the floor with a wet slap.

"You have got to be kidding," she muttered dismally. "Tell me this is a joke… it's a joke… right?"

Kakashi hummed a soft chuckle at her, still holding up the two small bells in his fingers. He swung them again watching Rin's dark eyes follow their movements.

"Nope. I've chosen this training not for the benefit of Sakura or Sasuke. They have already passed this test, more than once. You however, Rin, have yet to complete this training. You were unable to take the bells from Minato Sensei but now you have to try and take them from me." Kakashi closed his eyes to let the information sink in and to prepare himself for the barrage of insults he would no doubt have thrown at him.

"Okay," she said a lot louder and bolder than Kakashi initially expected.

Rin had taken him by surprise with her sudden acceptance of the task at hand, and this wasn't the first time. He had expected her to whine and complain while asking fro the training to be changed. The whole reason for picking this test was purely because she had failed so spectacularly at it the first time around.

Opening his eyes he looked her over to see the natural colour in her face had returned almost to the point where she was glowing. A small confident smile was pursed firmly to her lips, almost like she knew something and wasn't about to divulge on the precious information.

"Really?" Kakashi asked as he lowered his hand to his side, hearing the two bells clink against his thigh.

Rin's eyes motioned towards the two metallic spheres, that same smile not wavering an ounce as she shot her sights back at him and nodded only once.

"Really. I know I sucked the first time I had to do this test. But it looks like I have something to prove to the _almighty _Copy Ninja," she quipped. "Besides, I don't remember you rocking so hard at it either."

Rin idly inspected the fingernails of her left hand as she made her remark. Kakashi felt another burn in his gut, this one not as pleasurable as before. Her taunt was indeed correct. All three of them had failed to obtain the bells from Minato Sensei. He was just too damn fast for any of them to keep up with. Kakashi had come so close, so frustratingly close but he still hadn't managed to pull the tiny orbs from the Yellow Flash's belt. That's one of the small prices you pay for lack of team work…

"Touché, Rin." Kakashi droned feeling his brow arc habitually at the fact that Rin had at least one point against him now.

She glowered at him, a smug smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. She knew how to push his buttons and if Kakashi was totally honest with himself, he didn't much like it. The one thing that she had over Sakura and Sasuke is she knew him better than anyone. She knew what ticked him off, knew how to goad and distract him, but he also knew a lot about her. And he planned to use all of that knowledge to his advantage.

Rin wasn't as out of shape as she thought, but Kakashi was now beginning to wonder if she was starting to realise that she was fitter than she looked.

Quickly attaching the threads of the bells to the front loop of his belt, Kakashi stood straight and looked over all three of his training buddies. They all looked ready to go, despite the younger two looking a little more relaxed than he liked.

"Alright, let's talk about consequences, shall we? The objective is the same as before. Who ever fails to get hold of one of these bells loses. The ones who manage it wins. Is that understood?"

All three nodded knowingly.

"Good. Now, there are no prizes for the ones who get a bell, only the satisfaction of passing the test. The loser however, will have to cook dinner for the rest of us at the end of the session, and I'm pretty hungry." With this, Kakashi shot his eyes directly at Rin who was staring back with a distasteful twist to her mouth. She knew the forfeit was directed at her in particular.

Kakashi really enjoyed Rin's cooking and he found himself hoping that she would fail to beat him just to savour more of her delightful food again. But in his heart of hearts, he secretly hoped that she would win. It would do wonders for her self esteem but he had no intentions of making this test easy for her. Where's the fun in that?

Eventually the dark haired medic nin shook her head and looked off into the distance as if to show Kakashi that she wasn't biting at the bait. Her reaction forced a small smile to form on his own mouth as he raised his hand, getting ready to start the test.

"Okay, are we ready?"

All three stood into position, ready to dive into the trees and gain much needed cover.

Kakashi lowered his arm sharply before shouting, "Then start!"

Two of them shot into the woods in opposite directions. The one that remained just stood there, arms folded and glaring at Kakashi like he was a rancid piece of meat.

"Rin, I said start…" he grumbled at her.

"You … are an asshole," she growled back at him. Her eyes were darker than he was used to. Seemed that something he had said had really ticked her off.

"I've been called worse," he deadpanned, shrugging his shoulders at her. He knew she wouldn't be too happy about having to repeat the bell test, but he was hoping that her first attempt at it would have taught her a few things.

"You want me to fail this thing don't you?" She started, in that same menacing voice. "Well I've got news for you, Kakashi."

She stalked towards him causing Kakashi to take a step back from her. She jutted a finger at him almost poking him square in the chest were it not for him keeping a small space between them and keeping an eye on her thrifty hands.

"I'm going to take both of those stupid bells and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it!" she hissed. The glimmer in her eyes told him that she meant every word of it. But it had yet to be seen.

"Ah, fighting talk. I like that. But I'm afraid I'll only believe that when I see some action, Rin."

"Oh, you'll see it. I'll make sure of that and you're gonna wonder what the hell hit you."

She grinned at him devilishly before she backed slowly away from him and darted into the tree's behind her.

Kakashi folded his arms and chuckled under his breath. "I look forward to it," he said softly before springing into the woodland.

* * *

It didn't take long for the copy nin to find a nice thick branch to rest his backside high up in one of the many thick set tree's in the grounds. He had sat idly for ten minutes or so simply waiting for any kind of movement. So far so good.

The rest of the team were keeping a low profile, or perhaps they were simply looking in the wrong places. Either way Kakashi took this moment of calm to slip out his trusty bright orange book and flick through the pages to find one of his most favourite parts. After coming across a rather juicy fight scene within the small world of Icha Icha Paradise he propped himself against the bark of the tree and allowed himself to drift on the edges of the fantasy realm.

"Put her down, Kakashi! She's not real, you know!" came a shrill cry from above. The noise caused Kakashi to jump in his seat. How could he have let himself lose sight of the test! He spun his head around to see a rather triumphant looking Rin gazing down at him from a few branches above him. This was just like the game of hide and seek in the ninken's plane; only this time the roles had been reversed.

He snapped the book closed and shoved it back into the pouch from which he retrieved it before standing up and facing Rin front on.

"I'm quite capable of distinguishing the differences between fantasy and reality," he remarked smugly. "And anyway, you took your sweet time finding me. I expected to be discovered sooner."

"Oh, shut up! I've been stood up here ten minutes while I watched you flip around in that book. You never even noticed me." Rin punctuated her statement with a wide toothy grin. Kakashi merely glowered up at her. He had nothing he could throw back at her seeing as he hadn't actually heard her approaching his location. He only heard her when she started speaking.

"And where are the others? I take it you have them surrounding me." He asked. He wasn't sure why he asked the question in the first place. Perhaps he was hoping Rin was naïve enough to state his statement as fact. Or maybe she would lie…

"I'm not telling you that! All I can say is that I want you here, all to myself. I swore I would get both of those bells and I'm sticking to that."

"Well, good luck with that. You're going to need it."

Kakashi saluted to her before turning shooting forwards and diving to the next tree. He sprang from branch to branch feeling the leaves hitting his face as he moved through the brush. He could sense Rin following behind. She was close, too close. He needed to shift from this level in order to lose her or at least gain him a few more seconds.

As he continued to jump through the tree's he planned out his next route. Descending was far easier than climbing and from what he remembered from the last time they had sparred together she wasn't the greatest of tree climbers.

With a crafty smirk he planted his foot onto the next branch condensing a small amount of chakra into it and flew upwards. He twisted in midair and shunted his feet onto the bark of the tree behind him. He began to sprint upwards and realised to his utter horror that Rin had already anticipated his movements.

Vibrations that shook through his legs each time his feet made contact with the bark confirmed that she was, in fact, running up the same tree only on the opposite side. If they both carried on running they would meet at the top and she would have most of the advantage.

"Shit," he hissed. How could she have gotten so good after only a two sessions with him? She must have been training with someone else at some point, he had no doubt about that. He had to change course again, and fast. He pushed himself from the tree and allowed himself to plummet a short while until his feet came into contact with another branch, but he was too slow.

Rin shot past him at a frightening speed and skidded to a halt just ahead of him. Her next move seemed to happen in slow motion as she lunged for him, both hands outstretched and her pretty face twisted primal rage. She reminded Kakashi of a wild cat and it was more than a little frightening.

He lurched backwards as she made a grab for him hearing her growl in frustration. The copy nin was safe from her claws for now but he had foolishly misjudged his footing in his attempt to get away from her.

Completely missing the branch with his foot, Kakashi found himself plummeting towards the ground. Thick prongs of wood skimmed past him until he reached out and grasped one of the branches and pulled himself towards the tree.

He managed to spin his body upwards and landed on the solid platform to hear something whistling towards him from behind. He turned just in time to spot the three kunai shredding through the leaves straight for him. He quickly sprung to a level above him just as the small knives buried themselves deep into the soft wood.

Kakashi stared at the weapons momentarily, suddenly realising how far off he was from actually being that soft piece of wood. He mentally saw the kunai buried handle deep in his back as he turned away and pressed himself against the bark of the injured tree.

It was difficult not to think of what injuries could have been when in battle and this was no different. That very same shiver crawled up his spine at the thought of it. He knew he was considered a formidable foe to many ninja but he still felt physical pain and he still bled like any other. It was what made him human…

"Geez, Rin. Take it easy…" he muttered under his breath. She really wanted to win this… really badly. The silver haired Jounin kicked himself mentally for underestimating her and overestimating himself. He honestly didn't think she would be able to keep up with him. How wrong he had been so far. It was then that he decided that the sharingan would be his best weapon against her especially since he had two other well trained ninja chasing his tail somewhere in the field.

Kakashi briskly pushed his hitai-ate that covered his sharingan eye higher on his forehead and peered back around at the kunai still buried into the branch just below him. He felt himself frown at them before lifting his sights towards the direction they came from. He judged that Rin was still in that general direction and he didn't have much time until she caught up with him again.

Just as he had decided to move to the next platform opposite he was taken by surprise again when a firm hand wrapped around the wrist that supported his weight against the thick bark. He whirled his head towards the hand and saw Rin smiling gleefully at him again from around the tree. Her body was twisted around the trunk suggesting that she was either standing on a different branch, or she was clinging to the bark itself. Man, she was fast today!

"You're not very good at this game, are you?" she chortled. Her eyes swiftly flitted to the bells resting against his thigh and back to his face. At that instance, still gripping his wrist with a strength Kakashi never thought she had in her, she made another grab for him. He saw his chance then.

The copy nin yanked his arm away from her, using her monstrous grip against her as the force pulled her entire body around the tree. He heard her squeal as she swung in front of him as he tried to literally shake her off and send her falling to the ground. He swung his arm downwards, watching Rin swing with it but his plan was foiled once again.

Rin planted her feet on the bark just below Kakashi's branch and grasped his already trapped arm with her other hand. Her position forced Kakashi to bend over as she used her entire body weight to pull him down.

He struggled against her, desperately trying to pull his arm free from her grip but she was holding fast. His stooped position wasn't helping matters, with the strength in his legs concentrating with simply keeping his balance and his other hand against the bark for what little support it could provide, Rin had the full advantage. And it didn't take long until she used it.

She pulled him towards her as she began to bend herself back away from the tree. Kakashi's eyes widened dramatically as he began to realise exactly what it was she doing. She wasn't merely trying to pull him off the branch, she was trying to get him to ground level and she was going to fall with him.

With a sudden tug to his arm that almost popped his shoulder from it's socket Kakashi lost his footing. He plummeted downwards and even felt the force of his fall pull Rin from her spot on the tree. As they fell she tried to pull him towards her using her vice like grip on his wrist but Kakashi kept her away with a precise shunt of his foot against her chest.

She continued to pull at his arm however and he could feel the agonising burn in his shoulder growing as the muscles fought against her. He kicked her again, hard, square in the chest which made her grunt and her face twist a little at the pain but her grip didn't loosen one bit.

The winds of the fall whipped past them causing Kakashi's hair to get in his way and obscure his sight as he craned his neck to chance a quick glimpse at the ground that was rushing towards them. It was at that moment that she released him which allowed him to gain his composure and twist his body in a way that allowed him to at least land on his feet.

They both made contact with the ground, causing the dust from the dry soil under their feet to spray into the air. Straightening himself Kakashi took a brisk look around the clouded area just as an ominous shape pounded towards him. Instinctively he raised both arms as Rin thrust her fist towards his face instead coming into contact with his forearm.

Kakashi sprang his other hand outwards, grabbing Rin's inoffensive arm and spun her body so her back was against his front. He instantly wrapped an arm around her trapping both hands against her chest, pressing her against him and leaving her unable to move. She was good today, really good… but still not as good as him.

With an arm now pressing against her throat he could feel each breath she took as she tried in vain to twist herself out of his grip. He hummed an amused chuckle at her as she threw her head back viciously trying to hit him in the face again. Kakashi quickly twisted his free hand into her ponytail to stop her from repeating the action and felt her body stiffen against him. She had complained about him using this tactic before, but it was effective. If she didn't like her hair being pulled then in his opinion she shouldn't have any.

He leaned towards her, making sure his mouth was next to her ear and pulled her head back slowly with her hair.

"Feeling tired yet?" He teased softly into her ear eyeing each and every heave of her chest against the arm that kept her there. He heard her gasp out a small laugh as her mouth twisted in a sinister smile.

"Not as tired as you're gonna feel," she puffed just as she hooked a foot around his ankle and pulled him off his feet. He should have seen that one coming really…

Instinctively, Kakashi released his arm from around her next but kept a firm grip on her hair as he fell backwards. The idea was to merely pull her down with him but Rin seemed to have other plans.

His sharingan picked up bright spots of chakra running out of her scalp and into her auburn hair which knocked him completely off guard, be that for a mere second, but that was enough for her. She spun her head around, carrying the copy nin with it and flung her hair over her shoulder. Kakashi lost his grip on Rin's locks as they seemed to turn to slick strands of steel and he was thrown across the small clearing.

He allowed himself to make impact with the ground and rolled a few yards before coming to a complete stop against the base of one of the many trees. Even though it was quite dark in this part of the woods the dust his body had just disturbed would allow him enough time to execute a bunshin no jutsu.

He quickly made his hand signs, knowing that it wouldn't take long for the dust to settle. Kakashi's clone didn't need any orders from it's creator. As he got to his feet the copy simply lay down in the empty space while Kakashi swiftly dove behind the same tree.

He crouched on the floor behind the tree and waited for Rin to notice the clone lying on the ground. He secretly hoped that she would take a little pity on the "injured" version of himself, knowing that whatever pain his clone felt he would feel as soon as it returned to him.

It didn't take long for Rin to see _him_ lying at the base of the tree. Kakashi heard his copy whine as she seemed to pick him up and force him up against the trunk which in turn caused the entire wooden body to shake around him.

_Yup, I'm gonna be feeling that later, _he thought dismally.

"Looks like I win, Kakashi," he heard Rin quip. "I'll just be taking my … hey … what the … what have you done with the bells?"

Rin's annoyed tone signalled Kakashi's moment to shine. He shot around the bark of the tree just as his clone looked up at Rin and winked at her. Within that split second he saw her gasp when the clone popped and disappeared in a puff of grey smoke. With Rin's confusion of the situation, Kakashi grabbed her by the shoulders, twisted her around and shunted her into the tree.

She called out in surprise as the tall Jounin pressed her into the wood. She looked up at him with wide eyes and her mouth hung open a little, which made her look pretty cute.

"I think you'll find that I'm the one who will be doing the winning," Kakashi purred.

Rin didn't try to struggle this time, she knew she had been beaten and beaten by the best. She just stood trapped against the tree and smiled warmly at him as she began to catch her breath.

"Well… I like to think I did better this time, huh?" she puffed, her smile widening a little as she relaxed against the tree.

Kakashi looked down at his feet momentarily as he laughed at her remark. "Actually you did better than I thought you would. Some of the moves you pulled off were really impressive."

He saw a small dusting of pink appear on her cheeks as she glanced down into the space between them. "Not as impressive as you though. You really know how to turn a girls head," she murmured as she flitted her eyes flirtatiously at him. The look stirred pleasurable knots to develop in Kakashi's stomach as he found himself eyeing her over again. His sharingan allowed him to see the chakra within her, flowing through her entire body. The way it shimmered, like millions of tiny purple fireflies, suggested that she was on the cusp of excitement … or arousal.

"You were amazing, Kakashi," she whispered. Her eyes were heavy and lustfully dark as she pursed her lips a little at him. Kakashi noticed then that her body heat had intensified and a musky sweetness began to penetrate not only his nose but also his head. He couldn't help himself as he leaned himself closer, almost to the point where their bodies were touching. He kept his hands firmly placed on her shoulders but she still made no motion to try and get away.

"You think so?" he asked softly. It wasn't Kakashi's style to seek compliments for his performances, he did what he did, but he genuinely wanted to know that Rin meant what she said. The little nod of her head confirmed it.

"You always are," she replied with a flirtatious smile as she lifted her arms and stroked her fingers along his bare forearms that still held her against the tree.

She was amazing…

"There's just one tiny problem though," Rin said quietly pulling her lower lip into her mouth.

"a problem?" Kakashi replied softly tilting his head slightly one side.

Suddenly Rin's expression changed dramatically from lustful to almost hateful. Before Kakashi had the time to respond to it her hands had already wrapped around both of his wrists to the point where he could feel his skin being stretched beyond it's normal capacity. He tried to move away, but realised he had been frozen to the spot.

She was channelling her own chakra through him, manipulating his own muscles to prevent him from moving. Just then an ice cold slither of metal was slid over his throat as the warmth of another body pressed into his back.

The only movement Rin seemed to allow him was that of his eyes and flitted them towards the heat source to see yet another Rin staring back at him with a sarcastic grin plastered to her face. She leaned in close so her lips brushed against his ear.

"The problem is that I'm behind you. It's not nice to taste your own medicine, is it?" she snickered as she smoothed her free hand down his side and over his hips to retrieve the bells from his belt loop. He felt the threads keeping them there snap before she held them up to him and jingled them in his face.

Kakashi could sense that the new arrival was a clone, but he was completely powerless to do anything about it. Rin had glued him to the spot and stopped even his most basic functions other than that of his internal organs.

All he could do was watch as Rin's copy stepped over to the woman against the tree who was now holding out a hand and dropped the bells into her palm. The copy then sauntered back over to Kakashi and smoothed her hand beneath his jaw line. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek and placed her lips next to his ear again.

"See you later, big boy," she whispered before she popped in a plume of pale pink smoke.

Seconds later Rin released the copy nin from her strange technique causing Kakashi's entire body to completely relax and sending him sprawling to the ground. He heard her giggle at him while she wandered over to his side and planted herself firmly on the grass next to him. She tossed the two bells around in her hand and sat there smouldering at him.

Kakashi eyed her over, letting out a loud defeated groan and pulled an arm over his eyes. How could he have been so stupid. Why didn't he see that coming. He was getting too old for this…

"I guess this means I win then?" she chirped happily. A very different tone to the one he had heard mere moments ago.

Kakashi lifted his arm from his face and turned his head slightly towards her.

"Big boy?" he asked flatly, still reeling from the comment as it was.

He watched a fierce blush bleed to the surface of her face as she looked away briskly. Eventually she shrugged at him while she rolled the two bells around in her hands.

"I dunno… it just kinda … slipped out," she murmured softly. There was a hint of an amused grin pulling at one corner of her mouth as she spoke.

Kakashi shook his head and went back to covering his eyes with his arm. "I can't believe you used that on me," he muttered.

He heard Rin emit a loud snort before she replied, "I can't believe you actually fell for it."

He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. "Don't you think that was a little bit… I don't know… cruel?"

Rin shrugged her shoulders again, not bothering to look at him but he could still see the smile widen a little on her lips.

"It's not my fault I'm gorgeous," she replied nonchalantly. She turned her head to look at him, with that same triumphant smile on her face. She held out a closed fist to him in which he responded with an open palm. She dropped the bells into his hand and got to her feet, patting herself down as she went. She was filthy not that Kakashi was fairing much better considering all the dust they had not long been rolling around in.

Kakashi followed suit, cramming the bells back into his pocket and they both began walking together towards the centre of the training field.

"Where are the other two anyway? I didn't see them at all during the test," Kakashi asked curiously while taking a quick look around himself in the hopes that they were trailing behind somewhere.

"Oh I met up with them before I found you in that tree. I sent them home," Rin replied matter-of-factly.

"You sent them home?" Kakashi had to admit that he was more than a bit shocked by her answer. Despite how close he felt he was to the young woman she didn't have the authority to send his team away he had called them for a training session.

"Yeah. I told you. I wanted to get those bells on my own. And I did it… on my own," she said softly before turning towards him and flashing him one of her winning smiles. "And you know what? It felt awesome!"

The copy nin felt himself smile at that. It was only right that she felt good about it. She had won fair and square and Kakashi wasn't about to take that away from her.

"Can I ask you something, Rin?"

"Hmm?"

"That thing you did with your hair, what was that?"

She giggled a little throwing him a sideways glance and flicking her long dark tresses over her shoulder with a swift sweep of her arm.

"You can't have long beautiful hair like this without using it as a weapon, you know. It's just something I taught myself while out in the field. I thought it would be neat to be able to use it as an extension of myself," She said happily, but with a dismissive shrug.

"I thought it was pretty cool," he responded warmly, giving her one his trademark eye creases.

Rin smiled back and nudged him playfully with her elbow. "Maybe I should teach you how to do it. You've got plenty of fur on your loaf!" she quipped.

The copy nin couldn't help but laugh at that. He thought about telling her then how much he thought she had changed, but he didn't want to spoil the moment. The fact that she had fought him by herself and won was a feat in itself. Not by her victory, but by her self belief that she could do it in the first place. He felt a sense of pride drift to his surface that maybe he had had that influence on her. He hoped he had anyway.

This girl was becoming more and more amazing every single day.

* * *

TBC - Thanks for reading! :D


	9. First Date

Crossing Rubicon's

First Date.

* * *

Note: Naruto don't belong to me, all mistakes are mine though.

* * *

The little session in the training field hadn't lasted very long. The sun was still blaring and the birds were still singing while Kakashi and Rin slowly traversed towards the gates of the field. The grass crunched beneath her feet with every step as she gazed up at the sky. The clouds where calming and beautiful as they listed lazily through the air.

Rin still couldn't stop smiling. She had never felt more proud of herself, even if she did pity the copy nin... just a little. She had assumed at first that he had intentionally let her take the bells from him, but his unhidden embarrassment in regards to her clone technique suggested otherwise.

She glanced up at him and was secretly pleased that the faint remains of a blush was still evident over the edges of his mask. He looked so cute when he was embarrassed. Repressing the overwhelming urge to simply pat him on the head was getting too much. Eventually she looked away with a small giggle at the thought that she had indeed beaten him at his own game.

"Are you going to let me in on your secret then?" Kakashi remarked flatly just as the gates at the far end of the clearing came into view.

Rin arched a brow before turning towards him. He wasn't looking at her and his eye showed no sign of emotion so she wasn't entirely sure if he was asking a genuine question or whether he was joking. Either way she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Huh?" she replied loudly.

Kakashi looked straight at her as they continued to walk. "You've been training since I went on my last mission," he droned. His expression didn't change an ounce as he spoke which Rin found particularly annoying. He didn't seem too impressed by his own statement anyway.

She snorted at him and shook her head as she turned away from him. The fact that he seemed to think she'd been training on the sly in a bid to outdo him was laughable. "For your information, Kakashi, I haven't been training since we played hide and seek with the ninken." She made sure her voice was as flat as his. It wasn't like she was lying at all and she didn't see the need to go on the offensive.

Kakashi chuckled under his breath causing Rin to stop in her tracks and turn to face him.

"What's so funny?" She sighed uninterestedly planting a hand on her hip.

Kakashi shrugged at her before he answered, "You are. You're seriously telling me no one helped you get as fast as I saw you out there?"

"Yes!"

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you're a sore loser, you always have been!"

She found herself feeling a little shocked as to how much the copy nin's comment bothered her. She wanted to think that he could assume whatever he wanted, but she didn't really want that. She wanted him to see that she had beaten him, and she had done it more or less by herself. The fact that he didn't believe her actually hurt. They stood and regarded each other for a while until Rin decided to breal the silence.

"Haven't you heard of learning from experience? It's not your speed that was the problem. It's your agility. The pulses I could feel from your chakra signature told me the moves you were most likely to pull off. So I just followed my gut, if you like."

"You mean to say that everything you pulled off out there was all guess work?" Kakashi asked. He seemed a little shocked by it by the way he lifted his hands quizzically.

Rin shrugged her shoulders at him feeling more than a little relieved that he seemed to believe her this time. It was the truth none the less, so she saw no reason why he shouldn't. She wouldn't lie to him; she hated lying to him...

She recalled the moment she told him that his kiss meant nothing to her. A blatant lie and it caused her stomach to knot in a sick sensation of guilt. She feared that she would never be able to take that comment back and tell him what she really should have said... Perhaps he knew she hadn't been honest with him, hence why he hadn't mentioned it. She automatically drew her hand towards her mouth upon remembering that kiss, how good it had felt on her lips and how his body heat had all but swallowed her whole. She hoped she would experience him again soon, on a much more intimate level. But by the way things seemed to be going so far said experience looked to be a long way off.

She flicked her eyes his way to see him staring back at her somewhat expectantly, still waiting for her answer. She blinked stupidly at him before she quickly shot her eyes down to her feet and used her raised hand to tuck a stray strand of auburn hair behind her ear. She could feel the uncomfortable burn of a flush bleed through her cheeks as her skin seemed to get tighter. How embarrassing...

"Pretty much, yeah," she answered eventually as she slowly looked back up at him and gave him a meek smile. "I don't have a sharingan so I can hardly predict your next move, I got lucky I suppose."

She hoped to the gods that he didn't ask her what had caused her to mentally wander away from the subject momentarily. Heaven knows what she would say to him if he did.

"Anyway..." Rin dismissed the entire conversation with a swift flick of her hand. "Let's get out of here. I really need a shower. I have dust in-between my toes and it's starting to really irritate me."

She turned on her heel and strolled through the gates. She stopped to watch Kakashi close the metallic barrier behind him. Still holding on to the metal railings he glanced around at her and arched a silver brow her way.

"Do you want me to walk you home or...?" he muttered.

Rin stared back at him feeling a little perplexed. His question sounded more like _"What do you want from me now?" _rather than an offering of company. She shook her head a little as she began to understand what he was saying. He wasn't planning on walking her home, or doing anything in particular. As far as he was concerned the day had ended.

"I thought you were hungry..." she started, cramming her hands into her pants pockets.

Kakashi turned towards her and mimicked her actions. "What?" he asked quietly. Rin could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling beneath that dark blue mask of his. He seemed just as confused as she did.

"You said the forfeit for failing the test was to cook for you because you were, and I quote, _pretty hungry_," she _quoted_ him with hand gestures and a roll of the eyes only to see Kakashi still thinking about what she was saying.

"Ah, yes I did. But you won, so..."

"Do you want to eat or not?"

Kakashi seemed to mull over his options as the shadows on his mask distorted with the twisting of thoughtful lips. Rin's eye was drawn to that point of his face instantly while she recalled pleasurable past experiences. What she would give to taste him again, to feel him wrapped around her... she had no idea. It wasn't all that long ago she told him she wanted to take their relationship slowly. The fact that she was now regretting that choice was more than a little embarrassing.

"I have a better idea," he quipped suddenly forcing Rin's sights to shift back to his eyes.

"Meet me at Ichiraku's in an hour. That's enough time to shower and change, right?" he finished with a quizzical arch to his brow.

"Ichiraku's, the ramen shop? I hope you're buying," she teased with a small smile.

The crease to his eye suggested Kakashi was smiling back as he nodded once. "Sure, why not?"

"Alright then. But one hour means one hour, Kakashi. You're a dead man if you're late!" she scolded pointing an accusing finger at him.

She watched his eye crease closed with the inane grin she was certain he was hiding under the dark blue shield on his face. He may be laughing and smiling now, little did the poor copy ninja know that Rin meant what she said. It wasn't that she would physically kill him as sorts, she wouldn't do that, Kakashi was her best friend. But she had the means to make his existence very uncomfortable if she so wished it.

"Some things are worth turning up on time for, Rin. I'll see you in an hour." With that said his hands moved in a blur of seals just before he disappeared.

Rin watched as his form melted away in wisps of ghostly smoke and felt a small smile tug at one corner of her mouth.

"Love you..." she whispered softly to the space Kakashi had left behind.

Little did she know that he was listening, high on a tiled rooftop not a few steps behind where she stood now.

Kakashi gazed down at her; a hand poised for takeoff just as he heard her mutter those words to the clouds his disappearance had created. He continued to watch as she slowly turned away and sauntered towards the town centre.

It wasn't until he could no longer see her that he dared to breathe, not that he had realised until that point that he had been holding his breath. He exhaled slowly and fingered the grooves in the tiles.

He didn't believe he had ever said the words she had just spoken directly to her, and he wasn't sure if he had what it took to ever say them to her at all. But it was a fact none the less and the copy nin was almost certain that she knew how he felt. She could read him like no other, sometimes he didn't have to say anything at all for her to understand.

Keeping his distance was harder than he had first imagined it would be, especially since he had found out how she truly felt. He wanted nothing more than to just hold her, look after her and protect her. Like she used to do for him before she left. He would give anything to replay the last couple of weeks, to start from the beginning. All his actions seemed to do was prolong the agony and the inevitable.

Kakashi had never wanted anything so badly, ever. He had never begged for anything either but he felt that he would get down on both knees and do just that if that was what it took. He didn't think Rin would make him beg for her commitment to him or for her love, but he would do it if he had to. The copy nin was certain that something would happen between them, something a lot more exciting and somewhat frightening at the same time. He just wished he knew when...

The copy nin would be the first to admit that this whole situation, no matter how much he wanted it, scared the wits out of him. It wasn't something he had full control over and if he was honest he didn't much like that aspect of it. He couldn't contain the sensations and the raw emotions he felt when he was around her. He couldn't just turn it off or push it away like he had been doing for the majority of his life. It was too strong, stronger than he would ever be but he let it take a hold over him simply because he was no longer strong enough to resist it.

There had been other women in his life, good women and all of them had left because Kakashi couldn't give them the one thing they all wanted; his devotion, his utter commitment ... his love. Only one woman he had ever known already had all three of these aspects and he didn't want to give them to anyone else. If she had never come back to the village he knew he would remain alone, because that was the way he had wanted it then. And if at the end of all this, she was turn to him and tell him she didn't want him that would be the way it would stay.

The fear of rejection seeped into his mind then. He knew it wouldn't happen, she had just told his smoky image that she loved him and he knew she meant it, but the fear was there nonetheless. It would remain, occasionally rising to the surface to torment him until he had her in his arms, until he was sure...

"I love you too," he muttered almost miserably under his breath before bounding to the next rooftop in a bid to get home and out of his dirty uniform.

* * *

The sun had finally set by the time Rin ventured back out into the open. It was still warm outside yet a cool but pleasant breeze floated through the village. She stood at the top of the stone steps as she closed the door to the apartment complex.

A gust of wind blew past her, playing at the hem of her light pink cotton shirt as she trotted down the steps two at a time. She was actually running a little late after simply cleaning herself up had taken longer than she had meant it to.

Rin had been hot, sweaty and unbelievably filthy when she had gotten home that afternoon. The shower provided her not only with the means to clean oneself but also the opportunity to relax a bit. After all that vigorous exercise the copy nin had unleashed on her she had started to ache a little by the time she had reached her apartment door. The first thing she had wanted to do was sit down with a hot mug of tea and watch the TV. Unfortunately Kakashi had stated she be at Ichiraku's within the hour, which gave her hardly any time at all.

The next fiasco was finding something to wear. It was only the ramen store, hardly a high street restaurant (Not that Rin minded at all, the fact that Kakashi was buying this time was enough for her) so she had planned to wear something quite casual but her inability to decide on anything was what held her back the most.

Eventually, after much trial and error she had settled for the light pink shirt and a pair of three quarter length blue denim pants. She had worried about the shirt, however. She hadn't worn it for quite some time and with the light fabric she found herself fretting about being able to see her bra through it. It was a minor problem and she went with it anyway. It was dark outside after all so hopefully Kakashi wouldn't notice.

She trotted through the streets at a quick yet steady pace hoping that she would still get to the little ramen store before Kakashi did. He was always late anyway but something in his tone earlier told her that this wasn't going to be the case tonight. If she was late and he had turned up on time he wouldn't let her hear the end of it.

She groaned inwardly at the thought as she turned into the next street, hearing her flat shoes scraping on the cobbles as she span into the turn. One path led into another and before she really knew it she was approaching the brightly lit Ichiraku's. She could see the light within the small ramen shop spilling out into the street and also the horrifying shape of a certain copy ninja standing against the shops frame.

"You ass!" Rin huffed in annoyance to herself as she approached him.

Kakashi seemed to be staring into the distance before he noticed Rin grind to a halt in front of him. He didn't say a word to her as she stooped over and planted her hands on her knees still trying to catch her breath. After a few seconds of desperate composure seeking, Rin dared to lift her head to see the taller jounin merely staring down at her. His eye was completely expressionless as he glanced down wards and lifted his arm. He glanced at the watch he wore and then shot Rin a questioning look.

"Don't! Don't... say a word, Kakashi!" she bit out straightening herself up and standing slightly to one side.

She took the time to notice his new attire. He wasn't wearing his trademark jounin get up. He still wore the tank with attached mask and the hitai-ate to cove his eye but he looked totally different tonight. It was a simple outfit much like hers, a short sleeved navy t-shirt with a small sports emblem on the front and a pair of long denim pants. Rin found herself smiling approvingly as she eyed him over. He looked pretty good

"I'm not that late anyway, how long have you been waiting, a couple of minutes?"

"Ten actually," he responded coolly as he repositioned himself against the frame of the shop. Despite his flat tone, Rin had a feeling that Kakashi wasn't angry with her, he had merely been waiting and was probably a bit bored from doing so.

"Oh... sorry," Rin squeaked sheepishly hunching her shoulders up and grimacing at her dinner partner. After giving him such a hard time about being late for things and it just so happened that not only was she late herself but the usual culprit was actually early. Talk about role reversal!

Kakashi looked at his feet and laughed at her response. "Well you said that you would do something horrible to me if I was late, kill me in fact. Do I get to punish you for being late?"

She could tell that he was smiling merely by the way he spoke. She liked his voice when he was smiling, it rose a little in pitch and sounded almost musical to her. She found herself grinning back at his comment and shaking her head a little.

"What did you have in mind?" she sighed.

Kakashi placed a thoughtful hand on his chin and glanced away. "Hmm... I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead," he muttered before giving a swift shake of his hand to dismiss the conversation.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. You're here now so we can go." He pushed himself from the door frame, crammed his hands into his pockets and began to walk in the other direction.

"Uh, hey ... hey! Where're you going? What happened to you treating me to ramen?" Rin squalled jabbing her finger towards the small eatery.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks and turned slightly to face her. "I've already bought it..." he droned flatly.

"Well, where is it then?" she snapped. She could feel herself getting a little bit angry with him. Something told her that he was playing with her, trying to get his own back on her for beating him earlier that day.

She saw Kakashi frown at her before shifting his eyes towards his back and motioning the same way with his head.

It was then that Rin noticed the large dark green pack on his back and suddenly she felt pretty foolish, but still. She had been given the idea that they would be eating at the ramen stall, Kakashi didn't say anything otherwise.

"Well... how did you know what I wanted? I might have wanted something other than the usual," she complained thrusting her hands on her hips and throwing an un-amused glare his way.

She heard Kakashi chuckle as he turned a little towards her again. "Are you going to stand there and pick fights with me all night, or are we going to be on our way?" he quipped.

Rin huffed at him, folding her arms across her ample chest and cocking her leg to one side.

"So, we're not eating here then?"

"It doesn't look that way."

"Then where _are_ we going?"

She watched the shadows on his mask cast by the golden glow from Ichiraku's twist into a broad smile on his face. The expression took her a little by surprise as she lowered her arms to her sides.

"If you follow me you'll find out, won't you?" he drawled just as he turned back towards the black of the village centre and began to stroll away from her.

Rin uttered a small giggle as she trotted after him and caught up. This was quite exciting. Rin liked surprises.

They walked together in a comfortable silence for a few yards through the winding streets of Konoha. Rin liked the village at night just as much as in the day. It was so different to see the village gradually fall asleep before her very eyes.

She looked around herself as they walked. All the shops had long closed, the only buildings still teaming with life were the restaurants and clubs that would be open until the early hours of the morning. Glancing through one window of a very posh restaurant she saw that it was filled mostly with smartly dressed couples. All loved up and immersed within each other as they ate their highly priced meals.

And what did she have...? A bagged up box of mystery ramen and a guy that was guiding her through dark streets to a place he didn't care to mention... the more she thought about it, the more sinister Kakashi seemed to get in her mind.

The idea was utterly stupid, and Rin actually found it rather amusing, but if she didn't know any better she could swear that the copy nin was up to something.

She spun her head round at him as they passed the extravagant eatery and jabbed him hard in the shoulder. Kakashi immediately turned to give her his attention and raised a quizzical eyebrow when he saw her glaring at him.

"You're not going to take me down some dark alley and have your wicked way with me, are you?" she growled at him.

Kakashi snapped his head back in utter shock, his visible eye widening in horror before he turned back the way he was travelling and laughed softly.

"Yeah, you really caught on to me there, Rin," he deadpanned.

The comment annoyed her greatly despite the fact that she knew he was kidding. As much as she liked being treated and surprised she really wanted to know where she was going to end up, especially now it was dark.

"Will you just tell me where you're taking me?" she piped just as Kakashi stopped and turned towards her again.

"Just follow. I know a place," he said softly

"A place, where?"

At that moment the taller jounin leaned towards her, bending himself so much that his face was mere inches from hers. She felt her eyes widen dramatically as she found herself pulling away from him.

She could kiss him at this distance. All it would take was a swift motion of the arms, grab his head and thrust her lips on to his. And there would be nothing he could do about it. She seriously considered the option until she felt Kakashi grab her hand with his own, startling her and causing her to look down at what he was doing.

"A place that floats in the stars," he whispered whimsically just as he pulled away and sped off into the street, pulling a poor unsuspecting medic nin with him.

She squealed at the top of her lungs as she was all but dragged through the darkness. It didn't take long for her to gain her footing however and pretty soon she was running to Kakashi's beat as they rushed through the village maze.

"Kakashi...?" she screamed, desperate to know what the hell had gotten into her already eccentric friend.

"Just keep running, we're going up and over!" he shouted back.

Rin didn't protest, she just did as she was told as they rushed towards a large building that seemed to hurtle towards them. She felt Kakashi squeeze her hand, probably a signal for her to prepare her jump onto the building. She naturally assumed that they would be traversing up the side of the tall structure and then over the top so she began to condense a small amount of chakra into her feet as they continued to bolt towards it.

It seemed that she had assumed right when Kakashi yanked her arm, forcing her to make the jump and attach herself to the outer wall of the building. They didn't slow like she assumed they would, the speed maintained as they scaled the block of apartments. The winds shot past them in rushing whistles as the rooftop loomed ever closer and bright lights from curtained windows blinded her momentarily as they passed.

She glanced towards Kakashi who was still holding tightly to her hand and felt a small fond smile form on her mouth. She couldn't see his face but she had a feeling that he was grinning with an exhilarated heat like she was doing right now.

She had felt ready to complain about making her run after the training they had endured that afternoon, but she found she didn't really care. She was with him and that was all that mattered right now.

And he was holding her hand, Hatake Kakashi was actually holding her hand, and in public too! Sure he was only doing it for supporting reasons but still ... Kakashi was holding her hand! She felt a delighted squeal build up in her throat but managed to choke it back at the risk of completely embarrassing herself and Kakashi for that matter.

She wrapped her fingers more tightly around his and was greeted with a slight turn of his head and a wink towards her as they both flew over the top of the building to land on its roof. He was amazing, for want of a better term.

They both landed effortlessly, feet plastered to the tiles, hands flat for support on the roof of the building. It was seconds after Rin had straightened herself that Kakashi was reaching for her hand again. She held it out to him automatically as he grasped it and squeezed it gently before tugging at her again.

"This way, come on!" he hollered happily. He was smiling again and it drenched the tone of his voice in a gleeful hue the medic always loved to hear. Rin didn't think she'd ever seen him filled with so much excited energy. This was yet another side to him that he had introduced to her only recently. It was something she had never thought about right up until this moment, but she felt like this was a whole new relationship. It was almost like she was getting to know this man from the very beginning.

He had changed so much since she last saw him a decade ago. His appearance was the first thing she had noticed. He was a little taller, a little broader, his hair a little longer than she recalled. His voice was deeper, muskier and so much sexier than she remembered too. And his attitude, his general outlook on things, the way he held himself... it was so difficult to explain, even to herself.

This was the reason she felt she had fallen for him again, because he was different than he used to be. This was a whole new relationship with a whole new person even despite his old habits and quick remarks being pretty much the same.

She loved who he was back then, and yet she loved who he had become. The feelings she had for him _were_ new and she couldn't contain the grin on her face when she began to realise it.

They were running again, towards the edge of the roof this time. All Rin could see in the distance was a vast sea of tree tops, no other buildings just forest.

"We're going into the trees?" she called

"Got it in one!"

With that they both, hand in hand, launched themselves into the thick mass of leaves and plummeted straight to the ground. They landed on their feet and Kakashi was then pulling her up a steep dusty incline. They must be near the end of the journey now, Rin thought as the excitement in her belly danced a little more to the tune of her feet.

The area was dense with trees and over grown shrubs but even then Rin was able to see that the dusty ground they ran on was actually an old discarded footpath. It didn't look like it had been used for years what with all the overgrowth. Footpaths like these, when in use, were usually kept trimmed and tidied on a regular basis by those that used them. This one, it seemed, had been abandoned long ago.

Eventually Kakashi began to slow his pace and let go of Rin's hand as they approached a thick bush that stood in their way. The dark haired medic nin couldn't help but feel a little cheated towards his sudden decline in contact but she chose not to say anything. She guessed she had had more than her fair share of public handholding. If she wanted any more of it she would be better off not to rock the boat.

The copy nin stopped completely in front of the huge plant and seemed to start examining it with his hands. He pushed and prodded at it until he eventually dropped to his knees and did the same at the base of the overgrown shrub.

"What're you doing?" Rin chuckled at him. He looked like he'd just this second lost his mind. Perhaps he was down on his knees looking for it.

"Looking for a way in..." he started flatly just as his arm plunged straight through the bottom of the bush. "Ah!" he yelped in a mixture of surprise and triumph after seemingly finding his "way in."

Pulling his arm from the internal part of the plant and resting it on his lap with the other, Kakashi simply sat in the dirt while he caught his breath. He dragged a hand through his messy silver hair, leaned back towards the bush and shoved his arm through it again pulling the tiny branches of its frame to one side.

Rin continued to examine his actions with a worried curiosity until the copy nin turned to face her and winced before he spoke. "You might have to crawl through this. Sorry, it's been a while since I last came here," he muttered apologetically.

Rin laughed at him and shook her head, "I'm not crawling through there! I'm not a badger!" she chortled and was rewarded by a saddened glimmer that shot across Kakashi's visible eye. She instantly felt a little guilty, but all she had wanted to do tonight was sit and eat ramen... not crawl around on the dirty ground... not twice in one day anyway.

Kakashi went quiet as he scanned the earth around him before looking back up at her.

"Do you trust me, Rin?" he asked somewhat meekly.

"What?"

"I said, do you trust me?"

"Kakashi..."

"Rin, please?"

Kakashi's plea forced her to think about what she was going to say next. They were both still a little breathless from their hectic journey but the signals she was getting from him suggested that he really needed her honest answer. She raked a hand through her hair as she contemplated exactly why he needed to know something she thought was pretty obvious.

"Of course I trust you," she responded softly.

Kakashi's eye crinkled a little in the corner suggesting that he was smiling at her again as he held out an offering hand to her.

"Then trust me when I say that it'll be worth it."

Rin thought about his request to crawl through the small gap in the bush while switching her glances between Kakashi's hopeful eye and his hand. Eventually she gave in to him, grasped his hand firmly and allowed him to guide her towards the newly created gap in the large plant that blocked their way.

"Why don't you just burn the bush or cut it down or something?" She asked irritably as she poked her head into the gap.

"Just because," he said hurriedly. "Just get through here and you'll see another small incline, walk up that and you're there," he explained flatly, letting go of her hand and suddenly grasping her waist with both of his.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, she hoped he didn't think this was some opportunity to just grab her. Even so, she found he quite liked the warmth of his hands around her waist.

"Making sure the branches of this bush don't rip your shirt, just go through, I'll follow straight after."

Rin did as she was told and dragged herself through the prickly plant begrudgingly. She hoped for his sake that whatever was on the other side _was_ worth it or Kakashi would soon find himself being brutally turned into a messy puddle.

Seconds later she was at the other side straightening herself and brushing the dust from her once clean denim pants. The dust was very dry, thankfully, so the stains it left behind were barely noticeable. She had no doubt the rest of the dirt would come out in the wash.

She paused briefly as she waited for Kakashi to come through the base of the bush. Instead she heard him rustling around on the other side.

"Kakashi? Are you coming through?" she called, standing on her tiptoes in an attempt to see over the top of the huge plant but to no avail.

"Yeah, I've got to take off my pack and throw it through. Just go up the incline, I'll be there in a minute."

"Need any help?"

"No, I'm good."

Rin shrugged at his response and swiftly turned on her heel to see the small slope the copy nin had been talking about. She found herself staring at it for a while until she eventually decided to step onto it.

She thought about the way Kakashi had told her about this place that was apparently worth crawling through bushes for.

_A place that floats in the stars_, he had said. She couldn't help but smile at his words and she laughed a little as she recalled the dreamy look Kakashi had given her as he said it. It wasn't like something the older jounin would usually come out with. It sounded oddly romantic and downright cheesy; it was something she thought a child would say. Rin shook her head trying to dismiss any thoughts of this place he had brought her to being anything but the magical land he had led her to imagine.

That was until she reached the top of the incline.

She stopped dead on the curve of the hill as she took in what she saw before her. An expansive clearing fanned out beneath her feet as she stepped closer. The grass was green, greener than any she had seen within the village walls and it led her eyes towards a small lake on the far side. The water glittered in the moonlight and the entire space was surrounded decoratively by trees of all breeds and sizes. It was completely enclosed, so private and intimate.

She stepped closer still allowing her sights to drink it all in.

She looked towards the trees noticing the clouds of fireflies dancing in the branches and leaves that framed the velvet sky. The stars scattered in space looked like delicate pretty stones spilled onto a sheet of satin and the moon seemed so much bigger than usual. It was heart breaking, so much so she felt herself placing a hand on her chest as if to stop her own heart falling to pieces inside of her.

This place felt like an island suspended in an endless sea, it was so beautiful and completely un-ruined by the torment of a thousand feet on its delicate soil.

"A place that floats in the stars..." she whispered as she found herself enclosed in a whimsical awe. Why had she never known about this place? How in this world did Kakashi know of such a place?

Suddenly she thought about all those loved up couples in their fancy restaurant, eating their fancy meals. How sorry she felt for them now knowing that her partner for the evening had planned to bring her somewhere so enchanting. She would rather be in a place like this than stuck in a building with its fake plants and over priced decor. This... this was all natural, this was what made Rin appreciate simply existing. It was beautiful.

She absently heard heavy footfalls approaching behind her. She didn't turn to greet him, her eyes trapped within the picturesque view. She shook her head slowly when she sensed him stand at her side.

"It's beautiful..." she murmured not entirely sure who it was she was actually talking to be it him or herself.

"I told you it was worth it," he said back. Kakashi's voice had a hue of sadness about it that caused Rin to shift her eyes towards him. He just stood, tracing his lone dark eye along the grounds. He seemed to be following something and an odd sheen glimmered within the onyx of his vision, something she struggled to recognise.

She touched him softly on his forearm and was surprised herself when the contact seemed to startle him.

"Kakashi, are you alright?" she asked quietly.

He turned to face her with a strange expression of longing hanging in his eye. It was there for only a second but she noticed it instantly. He quickly changed his stance and pinched his eye closed with one of his trademark hidden smiles in an attempt to hide what she had just seen.

"Of course, why shouldn't I be?" he responded softly. There was a foreign tremor in his voice, undetectable to the untrained ear, but Rin had heard that tremor before... long ago.

_Because I can hear you crying... _her mind told her to say, conjuring old memories she had once tried to forget.

She had said that to him only once before and he had denied it, even with his eyes sore and bloodshot and his breath hitching in a desperate but failing attempt to control it. She had heard him crying then, behind a closed door where he thought no one could hear or see. Her mind replayed the event, hell bent on ruining this moment, this one night where everything seemed so special...

"_Why are you even here? Leave me alone!"_

"_Because I want to help you, Kakashi!"_

"_... why...?"_

"_Because... because you're my friend."_

"_..."_

"_Kakashi...?"_

"_I don't deserve your friendship ... jus t... just go away."_

"_That isn't up to you"_

"_..."_

"_You don't really want me to go... do you?"_

"_Everyone else has..."_

The memory made her lips tremble. She had forgotten about it up until she heard that hurtful quiver in her friends voice, the very same as she had heard all those years ago. But looking at him now he seemed happy again. He showed no signs of breaking at all. She couldn't shake it off, however, and she couldn't stop herself from feeling the nausea she had felt back in that shadowed hospital room...

Eventually she released his arm and smiled back. "No reason," she lied.

Kakashi nodded just once and hitched the pack on his shoulders up as he began to move towards the shimmering waters that lay at the far end of the clearing.

"We should eat before the ramen gets cold. I'm starving," he chimed.

"Okay," she croaked as she watched him almost trot towards the water's edge. Something about this place had awakened painful memories in his mind, which was more than obvious. She didn't think she would ask him what they were... she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know. What bothered her more than anything was remembering how helpless she had felt when she had first ever heard him talk like that. Because there was nothing she could do or say to take away his pain...

* * *

They both sat on a sandy embankment which gave the illusion that the lakeside was actually a beach. The water lapped at the makeshift shore and shimmered prettily in the light of the night sky. The view was as enchanting as it ever was and the copy nin was once again in complete awe of the old abandoned fishing hole. It was so peaceful here and he secretly wished the night would never end.

They were both still eating their boxes of take out ramen and playing a game Rin liked to call "kiddie questionnaire". Kakashi had not long asked her what her favourite toy was as a child. Apparently a small plush rabbit with no ears called Bonsty.

Now he sat quietly, pushing his food around the carton and allowed his mind to drift while he waited for Rin to think of something to ask him.

Kakashi had forgotten just how nice it was up here, and he thought nothing of tasting that fresh sweet air that accompanied the small woodland around them. It was just like he remembered it, the only differences being that he was now in his early thirties... and his mother was no longer around.

He hadn't thought about the woman who gave birth to him for a long time. Not that he had ever wanted to forget her, but she died when he was very young, hell, she had been very young. He sometimes struggled to remember what she looked like when he did think of her, and it upset him deeply with the idea that he was forgetting her. But he remembered her now, like he had only seen her the day before. His mind conjured memories of her walking them both up the small footpath he and Rin had not long traversed, of he and mother dipping their feet into the icy waters of the lake on hot sticky evenings. He still had no idea how she had found this place, he had never once thought to ask... but she had and she only ever shared it with him.

She was a small, petite young woman with shoulder length ebony hair, quite ironic given his own lack of pigment. He felt himself smile as he played his food with his chopsticks, recalling her smell. She always smelled like apples and strawberries, sometimes one or the other but usually the scents were infused together. Her voice had always sounded like the tinkling of wind chimes in a gentle breeze and she could sing... man, could that woman sing...

Kakashi could also remember the evil glances they used to get when she took him to the market. She was heavily ridiculed for being a teenage mother with a much older husband and a young son in tow. But she never let it bother her, though he knew it had bothered him, he was quite surprised to feel that it still did.

He had been too young to understand anything about age differences then, or even the matter of sex and marriage. All he knew was he loved his mother and he didn't like people looking at her with their vicious eyes.

"_Kakashi, don't stare at people like that, it's rude!" _

"_But, mom! They're talking and pointing at us..."_

"_Don't let it bother you, honey. You shouldn't worry about what other people think. I don't."_

That very same conversation happened more times than he could actually remember, but he still found an unspoken respect for her not rising to the general public's torments. It was a lesson he should have learned from her, but he had chosen the hard way...

Absently, Kakashi slowly raised his hand placed it gently on his head, trying to simulate the sensation he felt when his pretty mother ruffled his hair to end such conversations. But it wasn't the same. He could never replicate that feeling of safety and warmth she used to radiate when she patted him on the head, or hugged him, or kissed his forehead when he fell and grazed his knees. He could still remember his father scolding her sometimes because she "mothered" him too much.

It all felt like some wonderful dream turned into a horrific nightmare now she was no longer here.

His train of thought crashed in his mind as he was suddenly shoved to one side by his dinner date at his side.

"Ooh! Ooh! I've got one!" she chirped happily clapping her hands together like a child would on the morning of their birthday.

Kakashi didn't fight the grin that was pulling at the corner of his mouth. Rin was so cute sometimes he couldn't help but laugh at her. She acted so young in so many ways, and in turn it made him feel young too when he was around her.

"Go for it," he said as he took a mouthful of tepid ramen.

"Okay! Tell me your funniest childhood memory."

"That's not really a question..."

"Stop splitting hairs, Kakashi, and just tell me."

Her inane smile made her face glow in the moonlight. Even in her sensible clothes she looked like something out of a fairy tale. She was so beautiful, it was such a pity he couldn't muster the courage to just tell her so.

He thought about her request for a few moments, searching his memory banks for something he thought she may find at least a little bit amusing. He felt his eyes widen comically as one such memory forced its way to the surface of his mind.

"Can you remember that TV show when we were kids, the one with the people dressed as cakes and pastries?" he asked her in a more serious tone than he originally intended. He saw her brow furrow as she thought about his question before her mouth dropped open in gleeful recognition.

She gasped loudly as she clapped once and jabbed a finger towards him.

"I know it! I know it! Ooh, it's on the tip of my tongue!" She clenched both of her fists together and tapped them on the sides of her head as if trying to jump-start her brain. Her tongue was sticking out of her mouth a little as she scrunched her eyes closed. Seconds later she snapped her fingers and pointed at him again sporting a triumphant grin that made her even prettier than she was before.

"Pocky Boulevard!" she blurted with a small fist pump when Kakashi felt his smile spread a little more. The copy nin was even more taken aback when she burst into song waving her hands in tune with her voice, "Oh, come to Pocky Boulevard, come see how we play, with houses made of candy and frosted clay, come to Pocky Boulevard, come to Pocky Boulevard, lets sing and dance the day away, yay!"

"I can't believe you just did that," Kakashi snorted as he stifled the giggles jumping at the back of his throat. He remembered the tune vividly. Back in the day it was that very tune that dragged him away from whatever he had been doing to sit and gawp at the screen for the full twenty minutes the show ran for. Now it just sounded silly.

Rin looked especially pleased with herself despite Kakashi trying not to laugh at her. She still felt the need to explain her little sing song however, "Pocky Boulevard was my favourite show ever and I used to sing along to the opening every time I watched it! It drove my dad crazy... Although thinking back it was actually a bit sinister. Remember how Mr Bento was always trying to take Madam Dango's clothes off? Sexual references much?"

Kakashi chuckled at her as he took a sip of the beer he had brought with him for this little picnic. He relished how the fizzy liquid slid down his throat and was quite enjoying the slight fuzziness behind his eyes. He wasn't that much of a drinker, so alcohol consumption didn't suit him well. The odd sociable drink was okay though, so he had brought the beers from the grocery store on his way to Ichiraku's. Rin didn't complain when he had presented them to her, quite the opposite in fact. Kakashi did good!

"Yeah, I remember that. Well once after watching it I told my mom I was going to pack my things and go and live there with Madam Dango."

The copy nin got the reaction he expected, Rin's mouth dropped open and she sighed wistfully at the images she was now creating in her head.

"That's so cute! What did your mom say?" she asked dreamily.

"Not a lot. She just sat there reading and said – _okay, sweetheart, see you later_."

"You mean... she wasn't bothered?" Rin seemed shocked by his mother's response but he just smiled knowingly at her as he continued.

"I'm not done yet. It wasn't that mom didn't care. She just wasn't stupid. She knew how it was going to turn out," he replied with a shrug. Rin nodded at him, her lips parted a little in inquisitive awe which willed Kakashi to continue his story. Which he did after another mouthful of food.

"So, I went to my room, packed up some things in a pillowcase and walked out the back door."

"And ... and ... then what?"

"I walked down the garden, got to the gate, sat down on the grass and burst into tears..."

He watched Rin's once happy expression fall into one of utter despair. It was insanely funny to watch as her eyes opened comically and her mouth turned downwards so much so he feared it would just fall off.

"Aww! Why'd you start crying, Kakashi?" she asked. Her voice dripped with sympathy, almost like she was taking the story far too seriously. He had been a child at the time, a mere baby who still enjoyed playing with building blocks and drawing pictures of his family with brightly coloured crayons at the table while mom made dinner. The memories kept coming, thick and fast... it was this place... he just knew it...

"Turned out that I didn't know how to get there... I was only three, Rin," he drawled feeling himself becoming a little distant again.

He wasn't sure if he liked all the nostalgia the abandoned fishing hole forced upon him. As soon as he had stepped foot on the grassy incline he could see himself running around the trees trying to catch fireflies with his bare hands. He could see mom... he could see her just sitting by the trees calling for him to be careful... to stay where she could see him.

He had followed his imaginary self running along the water's edge and could still hear the high pitched laughter of a happy child... it hurt, it hurt a lot more than he first thought it would and he didn't like it. Maybe bringing Rin here was a bad idea. Not that this would be the first mistake he had made in his life...

"Kakashi..." a small voice came from the side interrupting him again. He motioned his eye towards the source to see Rin simply staring back at him. She had placed her half eaten ramen down next to her and she seemed to have paused midway into reaching for him. As soon as he had turned towards her she dropped her hand back to the sand and fixed him with sorrowful eyes.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she questioned meekly. It seemed that she didn't expect him to tell her the truth, so he used that as an excuse not to.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?" he lied irritably.

"You seem ... I dunno ... distant. Like you're not really here." She hunched her shoulders at him, as if to entice him into speaking.

Kakashi looked her over before turning back to the water and began absently picking at the label on his beer bottle. He felt a little embarrassed for being caught out. He did feel distant, he felt completely detached from the real world, like he didn't want to be here.

It wasn't Rin, it was the location. It had been such a great idea at the time he had thought of it and he was more than pleased the old fishing hole had maintained its ethereal beauty. But he was finding it so hard to deal with the memories that came with it. It had been so long since he had last been here, he guessed that was the price one paid for avoiding memories.

Some of the happiest moments of his childhood were spent here, but all that did was emphasise how much he actually missed it, how much he still missed her even after all these years. It was stupid, letting himself get carried away on the wings of his own mind but he wasn't sure how to stop it from happening.

"I'm... thinking," he answered flatly. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to talk about it, but keeping things from Rin had never been easy. Not because she constantly picked at him until he caved in, but simply because he couldn't pretend around her.

She wasn't like anyone else he had ever known, he found himself to act differently around her. He was good at hiding, good at pretending everything was okay when he was really crumbling at the seams... but not around her. She could see straight through him anyway, but he guessed that was what he loved so much about her. The fact that she was the only person he knew that truly understood him and what he meant.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she murmured softly. He could tell by her tone that she was smiling, not a happy smile more an empathetic smile. She understood... she knew he was hurting at this moment in time and she was willing to let him ride it out on his own. Kakashi had always been a creature of habit, and normally he would show her gratitude for allowing him to deal with himself by himself.

He didn't want to do that anymore.

"Maybe I want to talk about it," he breathed. The copy nin didn't get a response from her, causing him to look towards her again. She was just sitting there looking back at him with an expectant glimmer in her dark eyes. He saw the water reflecting from the sheen of her gaze as she allowed it to flick over his face. He was telling her the truth; he just didn't quite know how to expose exactly what he was thinking.

"You miss her... don't you?" she whispered, not once lifting her warm gaze from his.

Kakashi felt his skin tighten around him. How would she know who he was thinking about?

"Sorry...?"

"Your mother... you know, you've never spoken about her until tonight."

Kakashi felt more than a little shocked that she had managed to guess his thoughts through a simple recollection. Not that he should have been surprised in the slightest. This wasn't the first time she had guessed correctly at what he was thinking.

"How did you...?"

"Lucky guess? Or maybe because when you mentioned her in your little story I saw the longing in your eye." Her expression warmed at that very moment. A pleasant hue of pink was dusted on each cheek as she spoke. She looked so beautiful, but that didn't stop that embarrassed knot roll around in his stomach.

"Am I that easy to read, Rin?" he grumbled flatly feeling more shameful than he did moments ago. He didn't really like the fact that he showed his emotions so vividly to her. The last thing he wanted was to appear weak in front of the person he had promised to protect.

He heard her hum a chuckle under her breath and sensed her turn to towards the water.

"You're only human, Kakashi. It's natural to miss people you loved. I should know." She responded knowingly. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of, you know. I miss my mom too..."

He felt himself smile at that. It felt nice that she could relate to the way he was feeling right now. He had never really been given the chance to mourn his mother, so he had never truly accepted her death. Perhaps that was why the nostalgia hit him as hard as it did. He regarded the water, listening to its gentle sounds before Rin interrupted his gaze.

"Is that why you seemed upset before? Did she used to bring you here?" Rin asked quietly.

Kakashi merely nodded as he continued to pick at the label on his bottle. He thought about the situation he had put himself in, well, not only himself but Rin as well. This wasn't fair, not on her. She didn't need to hear anymore, not that there was much left to tell.

"I'm sorry, Rin." His voice was almost a whisper as it retreated into the back of his throat. He had never found it so difficult to speak in his life but he felt the need to apologise. He had meant this night to be about the both of them. To start again afresh, but instead it had just gone horribly wrong ... story of his life, he thought miserably.

"Sorry? Whatever for?" Rin quizzed her voice shrill against the quite of the lake.

"Well," he hesitated as he looked down at his drink and laughed nervously. "I think I've kind of ruined the night now, huh?"

He glanced up at her to see that same warming smile from before. She reached towards him and placed a hand on his arm. She squeezed it tenderly before hutching herself over on the sand and parking herself next to him.

"Of course you haven't. This is what friends do. You know you can tell me anything, anytime, you know that, right?" The sound of her voice was so soft it was almost a whisper and her smile so warm and inviting Kakashi had to fight with his eyes to keep them trained on hers. They had been in situations like this many times since she had returned to Konoha, so close that he could smell the mint of her breath, could almost taste her natural fragrance... what he would give to kiss her again like he had before, he didn't even know. But he didn't dare. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin what they had already, things would happen when they happen, as he kept telling himself.

"I don't deserve you..." he whispered, gradually relaxing into her touch as she seemed to hitch ever closer. He meant what he said, he didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve her friendship or her love... and yet she was sat here with him allowing him to take all he could from her.

Her already warming smile twitched upwards in one corner as she lowered her eyes to the small space between them and then back again. She flitted her sights over his face before she chose to respond in that same soft voice, "That's not up to you."

He hummed at her, dropping his own gaze to the sand. He supposed she was right. It wasn't up to him, it was her choice to stick around, heaven knew she didn't have to, but she did regardless.

"It's getting late. I should take you home," he said quietly.

Rin nodded in agreement before briskly getting to her feet. Kakashi followed soon after, picking up his half empty ramen carton and his extinguished bottle. He watched Rin do the same before looking around herself and sighing in a child like awe.

She turned her attention to him and trotted over placing the remains of her meal in the pack the copy nin held open for her.

"Ready?" she chirped with a broad grin.

"As ever," he drawled back as they made their over to the entrance of the clearing. He decided they would take a stroll back to the village. Perhaps the walk would help clear his head and make sense of what exactly happened here tonight... one thing he did know for sure, is the woman who was now walking in front of him, her long dark hair swaying with her steps was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had no idea how he had survived for so long without her.

* * *

The walk back into the village centre hadn't lasted long enough for the copy nin. They talked about nothing in particular but there was no more sadness, none that he had felt before hand. He had Rin to thank for that. But still, Kakashi found himself wishing they'd have walked a little slower.

She hadn't once tried to console him in a way that many women he knew tend to. She didn't try to coax him into revealing how he was feeling. She didn't have to because she already knew. She knew what it felt like to lose someone as close as a parent. He could still remember escorting her to the morgue at the hospital to identify her own parents bodies after the village was all but destroyed by the demon fox. He also remembered her screams of frustration after the news finally hit home. He understood that then, and she understood him now. And yet, it felt nice to be able to bounce these things from one another.

It didn't take long for them to reach the foot of Rin's apartment building as both of them came to a complete stop outside it and turned to face each other.

Rin looked up at him, somewhat sheepishly and smiled shyly at him. "Thanks... for the ramen and... stuff," she all but muttered at him while a rosy flush crawled across her face.

The copy nin laughed at her coyness which earned him a soft slap on the shoulder. "Don't laugh at me! I'm trying to thank you, stupid!" she hollered playfully.

"You've known me for... how long now? And you've gone all shy on me. Very cute," he chortled at her. She giggled back as she reached downwards and grabbed both of his hands with her own. She held them up a little as though she was about to give him a double hand shake.

"Seriously, Kakashi. Thank you. You're really sweet, you know?" She gazed at him with those pretty dark eyes of hers. Kakashi wasn't sure how he should respond to her compliment, so he just smiled at her and nodded his head.

Just then she released his hands and threw her arms around his neck instead pulling him into a forced but much welcomed embrace. He heard himself grunt a little as he had to stoop over once she had captured him, but he was okay with that. He enjoyed being in her arms, although in public he was a lot more conscious of it. He slowly placed his hands on her lower back, mainly to show the appreciation of her company. Not that she was unaware of it, they were practically joined at the hip as it was.

They just stood there, entwined with one another for what seemed like hours. Rin occasionally tightened her arms around Kakashi's neck while he simply smoothed his hands up and down her back while taking this opportunity to bury his nose in her hair. She smelled really good, she always did.

After a while Kakashi glanced over to the apartment complex to see the security guard still at his post within the tiny shack just outside the door. He looked to be sleeping but the copy nin couldn't be sure. Either way it motivated him into getting Rin safely inside the complex so he himself could go home, not that he wanted to.

He stroked his hands from her lower back and moved them over her shoulders enticing her to pull away slightly.

She gazed at him dreamily as Kakashi nodded towards the security guard in his little shack. "You should get going, if we stand here all night people's tongues will get the better of them," he deadpanned.

Rin frowned at him before she span her head around on her shoulders to take a look at the guard.

There was no one else in the street but Kakashi was one of those types of people that could never be too careful. He wanted to make sure Rin was safely in her apartment building before he left, and he knew it just wasn't feasible to stand out in the street all night.

Suddenly Rin turned back to face him and fixed him with a mean glare. He felt her squeeze the base of his neck before she trailed her fingers to the hem of his mask. Rin was already acting before Kakashi had the time to react, pulling the mask from around his face and using it to pull him towards her.

"Let them talk," she whispered just as she crushed her mouth onto his. She kept her grip on his mask as she kissed him fiercely, her lips enveloping his while she teased the sensitive skin with gentle brushes of her tongue.

It didn't take Kakashi long to get over the initial shock of what she was doing. He closed his eyes and leaned into her, allowing her access to his mouth. She plunged her hot tongue into his depths and he greeted it with his own while she accompanied the kiss with a soft pleasured moan. She tasted better than he remembered from the kiss they shared on his dilapidated sofa, the voltage running through him far more exhilarating than he had ever felt before.

He smoothed a hand down her lusciously curved body until he reached the round of her hip while the other sought refuge within the tangles of her hair.

Kakashi pulled her closer, fitting her more snugly against his body while he felt her hands roam around his neck, smooth down to his chest and back again. He could feel her heat bleeding through his clothes and melting onto his skin, could feel her voluptuous breasts pressing against him with each heaving breath she took. He could feel the electricity from his touch making her entire body come to life. Each muscle he passed as he allowed his hands to explore her gorgeous toned form twitched in welcomed response. He didn't care if anyone saw them, he didn't care if they talked; all he cared about was this moment and it had definitely been worth the wait to get here.

Rin was the first one to pull away much to Kakashi's dismay. The kiss didn't last half as long as he wanted it to. She allowed her lips to linger on his as she gently pulled his mask back over his face and smoothed it over with the flat of her hands once it was in place. She touched her forehead to his as they held each other in the street and flicked her big eyes towards his. He noticed that she was playing with his hair that covered the back of his neck when she smiled devilishly at him.

"Do you want to come upstairs for ... you know ... coffee?" she purred as she began to sway her body gently from side to side.

Kakashi hummed at her following her swaying movements as he contemplated his next move. He wanted to, more than anything but coffee was obviously the last thing this beautiful girl had on her mind right now. He could smell her arousal all around him, and as tempting as the offer was, given the slight pressure he could feel in his lower region, he decided to do what he considered to be the right thing.

"Maybe some other time, huh? We don't want to rock the boat do we?" he responded softly, taking the time to gently tuck a strand of glossy long hair behind her ear.

He saw her smile widen a little as she glanced down at the space between them. "Yeah, I understand. So... what happens now?" se murmured expectantly.

"I don't know. I guess things will happen when they happen." He replied with a small shrug.

She nodded in agreement as she pulled away from him. She smoothed her fingers down his arm enticing him to raise it slightly and grab her hand as she began to walk away. He let her slip through his fingers to let her wave to him before turning on her heel and making her way over to the apartment building.

He stayed there until she had closed the door behind her, wondering just what would have happened if he had accepted her invitation.

* * *

Her head was still spinning from the dizzying experience she had just created. She didn't think she had it in her to just make a pass at Kakashi. But she'd done it purely on a whim because she couldn't contain herself any more. Not that he had done any complaining.

She had wanted to kiss him at the lake, but his mood at the time forced her to keep a level head. He needed her then as a friend, nothing else. She felt she had fulfilled her duty on that score and she hoped he was aware that she would always be there for him. It had taken him long enough to learn that the first time around. This time was exactly the same.

She stepped through the threshold of her apartment and closed the door behind her with her body. She stood against it for a few seconds and blew out a very shaky, aroused breath. Her entire body was still burning from Kakashi's contact. It felt good, it really did, but she felt frustrated with the fact that he wasn't going to anything about it. Not tonight at least.

She plodded sulkily into the kitchenette to fix herself a drink while she thought about it all. Rin completely understood why he had turned her down. She wasn't upset with him for that. After telling him they needed to slow the pace it was only natural that Kakashi would say no to her to begin with and she respected him for that. But that didn't stop the sexual frustration within her coming to boil and causing her to perform her mundane actions with an aggression that bordered on a downright tantrum.

She huffed and scoffed as she slammed a cup down on the side and pushed the button of the kettle hard enough for it to bend unnaturally under her finger.

She felt herself begin to cool off as she crossed her arms over the table and allowed her head to plop into the comforting space in the centre. She focused solely on the kettle as she recalled the copy nins roaming hands. She could still feel them, exploring her back, her sides, narrowly avoiding her breasts by a mere gnat's wing. She loved the way he touched her, loved how gentle he was with her and she wanted nothing more than to have him there right now doing just that.

She forced her body upwards with a defeated graon and chose to rest her face in the palm of her hand as she allowed her mind to drift to what could have happened within these very walls had he accepted her coffee invite.

"Bastard..." she muttered to herself as the kettle clicked to the boil, feeling her brows furrow as that unbearable pressure began to build between her legs again. Damn her uncooperative body! Damn Kakashi for being so sexy! Damn it all!

After pouring her drink, Rin sloped out of the kitchen and meandered towards the double glass doors that led to the balcony. She shunted them open with a foot and stepped back out into the cool night air. Walking over the banister Rin crossed her arms across it sighing longingly as she looked over the twinkling lights of the village.

She stood there for a while, just thinking about what had happened that night. How she had felt so sorry for her old team mate when he finally admitted missing his mother. She knew what it felt like, but she had no idea how it must have been for a young boy to go through that. She felt she had done her best to console him, to let him know that he wasn't the only one that felt that way. He seemed to cheer up afterwards anyway, so she could only assume she helped him even if was only a little bit.

She found herself biting her lip when she recalled him stating that he didn't deserve her. What did that even mean? He'd said it more than once over the course of their friendship but she had never truly understood why. What was it about her that he felt he didn't deserve?

After finding no logical answers to that particular question she dismissed it with a swift shake of her head and focused on their second... no third proper kiss. She felt herself smile wistfully as she imagined him being there right now, pressing her up against the barriers of the balcony and kissing her hard on the mouth while he slowly undressed her. He would peel off her clothes and throw them to the concrete with a reckless abandon, that raw passion burning in his eyes before he made sweet sweet love to her right there on the hard cold floor.

The dream had totally drained her senses, something she realised when she saw she was spilling her coffee all over the balcony that jutted from the apartment below her. She gasped in horror but the action startled her so much she dropped the entire mug in a panic.

"Oh... fuck!" she hissed as she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the impending impact that never came. She opened an eye and dared to look down to the balcony below, craning her entire body over the edge to see nothing but the splattering of coffee she had initially spilled. There were no shards... no mug... nothing. .

She frowned in confusion before a familiar voice saying her name made her almost lose her balance altogether. At the fear of falling over the railings of the balcony she lurched backwards with a startled cry and collided with the glass door behind her.

"Shit! Ow!" she hissed rubbing at the now sensitive area around her shoulders.

"You should save that language for the bedroom," the voice chortled.

Rin glared at the culprit that was standing proud on the railing itself using a supporting hand on the floor above him. In his other hand he held the mug she had dropped, the one that should have smashed onto the floor below.

"What the hell are you doing, Kakashi? You'll give someone a heart attack sneaking up on people like that!" she ground out through clenched teeth as she straightened herself up and gasped for her breath.

She watched him laugh at her remarks, his visible eye pinching closed in utter amusement. "I am a shinobi. It's my job to sneak up on people," he chuckled.

"As for what I'm doing..." he started as he stepped carefully around the railing shifting his support arm along the overhead floor as he went.

"I guess I'm changing my mind. Is the coffee invite still open?" He waved the cup he was holding in front of her as she reached up to take it from him with both hands. "I'm assuming you'll need another seeing as you spilled that one all over your neighbour's porch."

She watched his eye pinch closed again as an ugly blush crawled across her face. Kakashi had seen the whole thing, he'd probably seen her daydreaming too. She briefly thought about going down to the apartment below and apologising for the mess she had made but dismissed the idea as soon as it came. She had more important things to deal with right at this moment in time.

She held out a hand to him which he took without hesitation and jumped down from the balcony.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," she whispered with a small grin as she led him back into her apartment making sure she closed the door behind them.

* * *

Psst! Don't worry... there's more comming XD


	10. Treading Familiar Waters

Crossing Rubicon's.

**Warnings**: Sexual acts and strong language are depicted in this chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you *nudge, nudge* *wink, wink*

**Naruto**: Don't belong to me. If it did this story would be cannon! Kakashi deserves a little lovin'.

* * *

Treading Familiar Waters.

Moments after closing the glass door behind her (seeming she feared he would try to escape at some point) Rin clasped Kakashi's hand in hers and continued to lead him into the lounge with a hopeful smile lighting up her eyes.

She still wore the same clothes she had been out to the lake in and she smelled a little earthy with a hint of strawberry bubblegum. It was a pleasant smell nonetheless despite the two being mingled together. He would give anything in the world right at this moment to sink into her and taste the sweetness she oozed. Rin always smelled delicious and oddly edible.

"So, what made you change your mind?" she sighed wistfully just as they both stepped in front of the large sofa in the centre of the room.

He noticed that she was still holding tightly to his hand which distracted him from her question if only for a split second.

Kakashi glanced down at their intertwined digits and stroked a thumb over the soft skin of her knuckles. For a woman that dealt mainly in hand to hand combat there was barely even a scar on her.

He still found it hard to believe that someone as delicate as Rin was just as good with her fists as Sakura. She was so dainty and so powerful at the same time it warped his perception of her, but in a good way at least.

Eventually he shrugged at her, not really certain how he should answer her question.

If he was totally honest with himself, he didn't really know.

It didn't seem right that he was there just for sex even though her coffee invite had been entirely for that reason. It made him feel he was using her, like a one night stand; something that she was most certainly not.

Maybe it was because he wished they had walked from the lake slower. Maybe it was because he couldn't think about anything other than what could happen if he had accepted the invite to begin with. Or perhaps because he knew he wanted her and she all but confirmed that she now wanted him that was pushing him closer to the edge. Maybe it was all of those things... He didn't know and he felt a bit stupid for not knowing.

Rin didn't seem to mind however as she uttered a small giggle and released his hand before backing towards the kitchen.

"I'll go … make us a drink," she stuttered coyly pirouetting towards the doorway and all but skipped through the threshold of the little room.

Her shyness seemed so strange to Kakashi. He couldn't really recall the last time she had directed such strange behaviour at him other than her bashfulness outside not so long ago. It had been a very long time ago anyway. She had always been shy but the manner had eased around him over time. Right now she seemed to be back at square one. It was enjoyable to watch though, so he had no intentions of pulling her up on it.

He followed her into the kitchen and watched with a keen interest how she pottered around the small area. She was so organised and everything within the little room had a place to live. He smiled at the simplicity that made this one tiny space so pretty.

Kakashi marvelled at how the artificial lights that rested outside her apartment caused the work surfaces to shine brilliantly through frosted glass. It was nice to see someone with such a hectic working pattern was so house-proud.

"I like your apartment, Rin," he found himself saying somewhat unconsciously allowing his eye to rove lazily around the borders of the room.

Rin turned her head slightly towards him, though not all the way, before she focused herself on the kettle on the work top.

"You've seen it before..." she remarked flatly.

Indeed he had, but had the circumstances been a little different from the last time he had visited he probably would have took more notice of his surroundings.

It was totally different to his abode; it was far bigger for one thing. The space suited her, it was expansive yet simple. He could actually see himself calling this place a home from home at some point.

The thought irked him a little. It forced him to realise just how deep he actually was with this woman. He had found himself being pulled towards her ever since he saw her on his doorstep... yet he found he liked it. He liked it a lot. She had a hold over him and he was quite content with letting her keep it.

He turned his attention back to the pretty medic who was now battling with the kettle while she still held possessively to the small white mug in her hand.

Rin seemed on edge, not an unusual trait for her but one that Kakashi had once secretly hoped that she had grown out of. He was actually pleased that she hadn't. Her shift in temperament would make this exchange very interesting indeed. Kakashi liked a challenge.

The copy nin chuckled under his breath as he motioned towards the worktop that Rin found so fascinating. He saw her entire body grow rigid as she felt him approach and he caught a strong whiff of something hot and musky.

The smell was glorious, heavy but sweet and totally unique - unique to her. Kakashi recognised the scent instantly despite it being completely new to his senses. It made him want to touch her, want to take her against the work surface there and then.

Luckily for him he had the strength to keep it at bay at the risk of her slapping the snot out of him (he didn't think she would but women were strange creatures when it came to mating habits) but he allowed the knot of pleasure to unravel in the pit of his stomach.

Folding his arms across the worktop, Kakashi perched himself against the hard surface while he studied the pretty brunette busying herself pointlessly with the kettle.

She was fumbling around with the appliance in an attempt to avoid looking at him as a flush was beginning to make itself known across the bridge of her nose. It was more than clear to see that she was still afraid of the unknown, still afraid of situations she feared she couldn't control. It was one of her only downfalls, but one that he knew he could forgive her for.

She honed a skill for thinking on her feet when the moment called for it, but he quite liked her uncertainty. It made her seem a little vulnerable and in need of guidance, something he would be more than willing to offer her.

She seemed unaware that she had more control over this particular situation than she cared to give herself credit for. And yet knowing her like he did, Kakashi knew she wanted something to happen, wanted it badly, she was just terribly clueless on how to make it happen. Hence her sudden reluctance for contact. The more she distanced herself, the more of a stronghold she felt she had.

He'd had his suspicions for a while now but he had often wondered if she had ever held down a relationship before him, or if she had even made love to another man. The thought didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. Everybody had a past of some description, hell, he knew he did. But due to her lack of tact during their heated exchange a few days prior, it had caused him to think of how inexperienced she seemed to him.

He felt he could see the cogs turning in her head as she tried to understand the situation. Weighing it all up in her mind, forcing it to make some kind of sense. She was a woman after his own heart, they had more in common than he had first cared to realise. He had done the exact same thing within the first days of her return. He was long past that point, had been for a while.

He quite liked the thought of teaching her a thing or two, especially in the bedroom. He'd never dated a virgin before so it would be an experience for both of them. A win-win situation if you will.

"So, why did you spill your drink earlier?" he mused eventually as he planted his face into the palm of his hand. He felt that a little light conversation to kick start the atmosphere they had created earlier would do the trick. That and it was more the obvious that Rin had no intentions of talking, not yet anyway.

He watched Rin freeze, every single muscle in her arms contracted to force her into the abrupt stop. She just stood there staring wide eyed into the metal of the sink still gripping harshly at her little white mug. She looked quite comical and Kakashi had to fight the urge to utter the giggle that was bouncing around at the base of his throat.

The question had hit a nerve and it only served to cause a pleasurable heat to swirl lower in Kakashi's stomach. It seemed that she didn't really want him to know what she'd been thinking at the time she had let her coffee mess up her neighbour's balcony area. More than likely she was fantasising about him, he was more than sure of that.

"Why do you want to know that?" she asked softly. Her voice quivered a little as she spoke. She was nervous and it made her just that little bit more adorable.

Kakashi adjusted himself on the worktop, turning to face it and pressing his chest into the hard ridge with a small sigh.

"I'm just interested. You were in a world of your own," he replied.

Rin briskly returned to her pointless task with the kettle, opening the lid and filling it up via the metallic faucet.

"I was just thinking, that's all."

"About me?"

She paused again, but this time a small knowing smile penetrated her features as the flush on her cheeks began to glow through her skin. He had an inkling that the expression was unintentional by the way her mouth hitched upwards sporadically.

That look said it all; he didn't need her to answer. She _had_ been fantasising about him not that he really needed a confession from Rin to prove that. She still felt the need to explain herself anyway.

"Well, you're a good kisser so I guess it's only natural... right?" she murmured.

"You think so?" He asked with far more curiosity than he had originally intended. He really wanted to know however, if that was what she really thought. He didn't usually care what other people thought of him, but he certainly cared a great deal about what Rin thought.

He didn't get the exact response he had been hoping for; instead Rin merely blushed and shrugged her shoulders as she set the kettle back into its holder.

Kakashi knew at that point he wouldn't be getting any further with her by simply talking...

He reached towards her and clasped the mug she was holding so viciously by the rim. Her grip on the porcelain container tightened a little as he gently pulled it from her fingers and placed it gently on the work surface. Needless to say that he was no longer in the mood for coffee.

She swallowed audibly as she turned her head towards him and eyed him over with dark curious eyes.

The copy nin pushed himself up from the work top and shifted closer to her carefully smoothing a hand over the round of her hip. He pressed his fingers into the supple flesh as he pushed at her a little coaxing her to turn away from the work top.

Rin gasped at the sudden contact while she looked down at his offending hand that was now gently turning her around.

She glanced up at him, her gaze flitting around his face in what seemed to be mild panic as he all but forced her to step against the hard ridge of the work top. The smile on his face not budging an inch as he did so.

"I think I need a second opinion," he hummed hooking a finger under her chin and relishing in the way her eyes sparkled with a worried anticipation only she could create. She was amazing...

* * *

What the hell was he doing, forcing her up against the side like this? Not that Rin had the power within herself to stop him in the first place... not that she _wanted_ to stop him.

The sensation of his hand on her hip was enough to turn her legs to jelly but the main problem lay with her own inexperience in such a predicament.

What the hell was she supposed to do now?

It was more than obvious why he had changed his mind about her so called coffee invite; he wanted sex... with her... now... right this minute... in her kitchen?

It wasn't that she had dreaded the moment, she wanted it probably more than he did, but it wasn't something one could sit and plan out in one's head. She hated that, hated being out of control, hated not knowing what the frick she was supposed to do next. She should have thought this far ahead before inviting him up here in the first place. She knew this was going to happen, she just knew it.

She could feel the fright building in her chest, her heart hammering against her ribs so hard she could feel it throbbing in her temples. It was almost painful.

She wasn't sure if Kakashi was aware that she was actually a virgin. At the age of twenty eight she found this fact to be a little more than humiliating and the last thing she wanted to do was tell Kakashi about it. He would most definitely laugh in her face.

Most, if not all, Jounin had to undergo a ritual of losing one's innocence if they hadn't done already before being graced with rank. Most kunoichi had lost theirs by the time they hit seventeen. But Rin was given the rank when out on her mission in Lightening purely so she could command a team beneath herself. No such ritual was ever spoken of and she hadn't given it much thought thereafter.

She had managed to hold on to her virginity, not because it meant anything special to her, but merely because she hadn't felt enough of a connection with a man to want to have sex with them.

It was an embarrassing fact she had hoped to conceal but she was failing so hard at keeping her nerves under control. Kakashi had to have noticed, he had to...

Rin wasn't stupid enough not to know how sex worked; she was a highly trained medical ninja after all:

_He puts the penis in, he takes the penis out, in-out, in-out, shake it all about._

She knew enough about female and male anatomy to give a lecture to children about the guidelines of safe sex. She also knew the experience was supposed to be enjoyable and she knew that it could be addictive to those in the wrong frame of mind. She was also aware that the first time was supposed to hurt like hell. That was something she was most certainly not looking forward to.

It was everything else in-between that fuddled her brain to the point where she felt quite crazy; foreplay to be precise.

Rin was aware that it involved touches, kisses and... other stuff but she had no idea where she was supposed to start...

She had no idea what his actual kinks were (she was quite certain Kakashi had many) other than the scat he liked to read in those Icha Icha novels. She found herself praying to the Gods that he didn't make her act out any of the sordid scenes enclosed within the glossy pages.

As kinky and arousing as she had found them herself upon reading the material for the first time (she had tried to fight it, dear lord, did she try) she didn't believe she had the self confidence to ever carry something like that off and seem convincing.

But even so, she knew Kakashi like the back of her hand; his favourite food, his hobbies, the aspects of his job he found stimulating, his favourite colour, his peculiar habits especially while eating (he constantly sniffed everything before taking bites, it was quite cute).

But sexually... he seemed to know her body inside and out. He knew exactly where to touch her how to kiss her and now, stood here with her legs all but wrapped around his waist she felt she didn't know him at all. He may as well be a complete stranger. It was all getting quite distressing to say the very least.

Where does he like being touched?

Does he have a favoured position?

Is he dominant or does he prefer to be dominated?

Is it possible to really hurt him or herself during such an act?

The last question to herself frightened her more than anything. Taking physical motor functions and the constant friction caused by the act of love making, sex should technically be the most painful experience in the world and she had no idea where to start... with anything. This whole thing was completely lost on her and she had a horrible feeling that she was about to make herself look a total fool.

She just stood there as he got closer and closer, shivering in his grip, over analysing everything and worrying if the hard work surface was going to leave ugly grooves on her butt.

Eventually she moved her hands from the work top and slapped them on Kakashi's shoulders, pushing him back a little as she tried in vain to control her trembling body.

"What are you doing?" she rasped as the mere function of breathing seemed completely lost on her.

She saw the shadows of his mask twist into a sinful smirk and tilting his head to one side as if to say _what do you think I'm doing?_ His dark eye roamed over her, the artificial light in the room shining from the odd fleck of hazel giving the illusion that it was burning... burning through her, melting her core, turning her body molten.

It was at that point that she felt herself give in to his silent demands almost as if she was now running on autopilot. Her entire body sizzled with an uncontrollable need she wasn't sure she understood.

Did she want to understand it? Was it worth trying to weigh up exactly what was happening or should she just let it happen? Did she really want to have sex with her closest friend?

Yes... yes she did. She wanted him to take her, to take her innocence, to make her his.

Suddenly he shifted himself against her forcing her further into the work top and nestled his face into the tangles of her long hair. She heard herself gasp when she felt the heat of his breaths blowing on her ear and flowing around her throat.

"Do I make you nervous, Rin?" he whispered.

Before she had the chance to answer he was already smoothing his hand from under her chin, stroking his calloused digits across her throat. He trailed his hand around the back of her neck leaving an electric charge of sensation in its wake before finding refuge in the soft hair growing at the base of her head.

He burned her, burned her skin to the point she feared she would spontaneously combust in his hands engulfing them both in an invisible flame she couldn't contain, didn't want to contain. She wanted him, badly, now.

He pulled her towards him and she could feel his concealed mouth pressing warm, gentle kisses just below her ear. The mask felt strange on her skin but she let it be. She could feel his heat surrounding her and that was all that mattered right now.

She felt her eyelids flutter exhaling a broken, shaky sigh as the warm sense of arousal pooled between her legs. She was still shaking, still pressing her hands against his shoulders, her hands clenching and relaxing each time she felt the subtle pressure of his mouth.

She wanted to tell him to stop despite the fact that she wanted him to carry on. She wanted him to move lower and to grind his hips against her so she could feel his own arousal pushing against her core. He felt so good, so good.

"N... no..." she breathed eventually, arching her neck to allow him better access.

It was a lie, he did make her nervous. The fact that he was touching her, kissing her made her nervous. But it felt good. The way his touch made her body come alive was something she never thought she could experience. Even recalling the kiss they shared on his sofa over a week ago, the pleasure she felt then was nothing compared to this, nothing.

"Good," he responded softly his masked lips ghosting over the contours of her neck before reaching her ear again.

"Tell me, Rin, do you like it when I touch you?" his voice was a heavy rasp against her neck, she could feel his teeth biting her skin through fabric, a barrier she was now tiring of but lacked the composure to remove.

As if to gain a response he moved the hand poised on her hip, dragging his fingernails upwards allowing his fingers to explore her waist. He traced them across her abdomen, the muscles twitching with the contact. The heat pooling between her legs was growing hotter, beginning to boil. He felt so good.

"Oh, yeah," she gasped arching her back into his touch allowing her arms that pushed him away to relax, drawing him in. She walked her fingers along his broad shoulders and snaked them into his hair. She pulled him closer while wrapping her legs around him tighter, desperate to feel him, to pleasure herself against him.

Kakashi ground himself against her, his hard member pushing against her sex with only the barrier of clothing to keep them from fully connecting as he continued to bite at her neck through cloth. She responded with a hard roll of her own hips allowing the choked groan of pleasure to rumble through her throat.

Rin tightened her grip on his hair at that point and wrenched his head away from her neck. She was no longer content with him hiding his mouth from her.

Dragging her hand across his face somewhat clumsily she clawed at the fabric on his face yanking the offending article downwards and crushing her mouth to his.

Teeth clashed, tongues twined together and hands dragged violently through hair, clothes, anything in their desperate, breathless need to reveal bare skin.

His hands clawed at her body stretching her shirt every which way as he seemed to fight for purchase. They snaked from her hips, over her stomach until they reached her breasts.

Kakashi slowed his pace suddenly as she felt his hands kneading at the soft mounds she hid under her shirt. He traced random circles over her nipples with his thumbs forcing them to react and pucker through the light pink cotton, even despite the support of her bra.

He broke the kiss pressing his forehead on hers to gaze down and admire her endowment with an impressed sigh. She pushed herself into his hands her shallow breaths becoming faster and more laboured which forced her bosom further forward still. He knew exactly how to touch her, how to turn her on. He was amazing...

Shifting his heavy eye to hers he squeezed her breasts together while emitting a low guttural groan, moving closer to kiss her again.

"Your tits are amazing..." he all but whispered before plunging his hot tongue back into her mouth. She welcomed him with a soft moan while he continued to massage her. She could feel a grin surfacing when he spoke. Something told her that he had wanted to complement her assets for a while now...

"You're amazing..." she whined between interlocking with his mouth. She dragged her fingers back through his hair, pulling his head closer as she gave another enthusiastic roll of her hips. He moaned into her mouth to which she responded the same.

She needed him, needed him inside of her, she couldn't wait anymore. The burn in her groin was becoming too much. She needed release, she needed him. It was at that instance that he seemed to read her mind.

"Let me make love to you, Rin," he choked out between sharp gasps as he ground himself against her one more time.

She didn't answer, nor did he wait for one as she dragged her hands from his dishevelled hair and blindly searched for his belt buckle. She dropped her eyes to the space between them, Kakashi mimicking her motion as she jerked the hem of his polo shirt and the tank he wore beneath over his chest.

Eventually she discovered it and started to fumble with the metal clasp while Kakashi did the same with hers. It seemed that he wasn't having much luck with her belt as she was already pulling the leather from the metallic loop around his waist.

She watched his brows knit together and he growled harshly under his breath with vicious grumblings of "oh, come on!" and "for fuck's sake!" as he yanked her hips with an irritated strength.

After a few moments he dropped his arms to his sides and glared at her midriff before flitting his eye to meet her gaze.

"Help?" he blurted, looking defeated and oh so comical.

She couldn't help it, she tried to fight it but her body wouldn't let her as she snorted loudly in a lame attempt to hide her amusement. She watched Kakashi's mouth drop open and his lone eye widen dramatically as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Are you laughing at me?" he whined. He sounded almost hurt which only fed her amusement.

She snorted again into her hand as she waved the other one at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi. Really... really..." she chuckled while she dropped herself down from the worktop.

"Here. I'll do it. It's one of those hook and eye things so it is kinda tricky," she explained, hoping that her voice sounded a lot calmer to him than it did to her own ears.

The seething burn still smouldered away between her legs and she prayed that Kakashi was still feeling it too. It was just a minor hiccup, easily repairable. Just get rid of the belt that's causing the obstruction and everything will be fine, yeah, everything's fine.

She unhooked the belt from her pants and swung it out to the side of her before dropping it to the tiled floor.

"So, where were we?" she smouldered stepping towards her lover to be. Standing toe to toe with him she stepped the fingers of her left hand up his arm, making them _walk_ across his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, you mentioned something about wanting to make love to me?" she punctuated her question with a devilish smile as she swirled a soft lock of silver hair in her fingers.

Kakashi's eye darkened, that same penetrating sheen that gave the impression of a smouldering fire burning into her radiating from the centre.

She didn't need him to answer; she merely grasped his hand with hers and began to lead him back into the lounge. The bed was much more comfortable than the kitchen work surface anyway.

Breaking eye contact with him, Rin strolled through the door way and turned towards the double doors that led to the balcony... and froze to the spot causing Kakashi to nearly bump into her.

"Rin? What's the... oh... no..." he trailed off, obviously spying the exact same thing pecking at the base of the glass doors.

It was a white pigeon. A messenger pigeon to be exact and on its leg it sported a tiny scroll. The way it was flapping and pecking at the seal of the door made it more than clear: the message was either for her or Kakashi.

"I don't believe this..." he snarled from behind her. She sensed him turn his back on her and venture back into the kitchen.

She didn't believe it either, this wasn't the first time they had been interrupted and it was getting pretty frustrating.

Chances were the message wasn't that urgent, well that was what she was hoping. It was rare to receive messages this way if they could wait.

"I should let it in, really," she called glumly feeling the passionate burn in her stomach begin to die replaced only by a cold feeling of emptiness.

"Yeah," came the sharp reply as she could hear him sheathing his belt back onto his pants.

Rin sighed miserably. That was it. Yet again another moment... lost forever. This had to be some kind of cruel joke, it just had to be.

She wandered over to the glass doors on legs that didn't feel like her own and slid one open to allow the small bird to enter the room. It hopped through the threshold and instantly took flight towards the kitchen. She heard the beating of its wings slow as it landed and heard Kakashi unfurl the scroll with a defeated sigh.

Rin found herself feeling quite disappointed that the message wasn't for her, not that she wanted to be interrupted at all. But it felt nice to be needed sometimes she guessed.

She stood with a hand on the door feeling empty and miserable. She just knew that Kakashi was going to be sent away again, knew that this could be the last time they would see each other for what could be months, even years.

The thought made her feel terribly ill... why now? Why now, of all times, did this have to happen? Maybe they weren't meant to be together. Fate worked in harsh tormenting ways and it almost drove her to tears we it not for a deep sigh to control it.

Eventually the copy nin sauntered through the kitchen doorway, the pigeon perched on a lifted hand as he seemed to scan the scroll over more than once. He looked as disheartened as she felt but something else was etched into his normally handsome features.

He flicked the hand on which the bird had perched causing the small creature to flutter before taking off and flying back through the door to the balcony. Rin watched as a tiny snowy feather floated to the floor at Kakashi's feet.

The tall Jounin scanned the scroll again, his brow furrowed before he flicked his sights to her. He didn't look very happy, but then again, what did she expect?

"Kakashi, what's wrong? Has something happened?" she asked meekly lowering her arm from the door.

He didn't say anything; he just whipped the scrap of paper her way and motioned for her to take it.

She did, albeit gingerly before turning it over in her hands and reading it herself.

_Kakashi-Sensei, Rin_

_Report to me as soon as you receive this. _

_Mission details will be handed to you at the office._

_Tried looking for you both tonight but couldn't find either of you._

_I'm guessing you're together so only sent one bird._

_PS – come dressed and packed to leave immediately. Mission takes effect as soon as the briefing is over._

_Naruto._

"Dressed and packed to leave? Missions aren't usually this hasty... are they?" Rin questioned mainly to herself.

In her experience as a kunoichi those briefed with missions, no matter what the class, were given at least a few hours to prepare. This just didn't seem right and it stirred a strange sickly feeling in her stomach.

"It must be important if the Hokage needs us to leave straight away," Kakashi replied flatly cramming both hands into his pockets. The mask had returned to his face, concealing her only means to read him when he was in one of these moods. His eye, dead and emotionless told her nothing.

"But what about my job at the hospital? I've only been there five minutes and I'm being sent away? How is that fair?" she hollered.

She felt angry now more than anything else. The Hokage knew she had been away for a decade, he also knew how traumatising that particular mission was for her and her team. He knew she had just started a profession at Konoha hospital. How could he?

"You know how this job works, Rin. Go with it," he grumbled back at her as he stalked towards the patio doors.

"Kakashi...!" she started just as he interrupted her.

"I'm going home to get ready, I suggest you do the same," he stated listlessly jumping on top of the railing. He was poised to take off, without even saying another word.

She felt her blood boil lurching forward and grabbing his arm before he even had the chance to get away.

"And tonight? What about tonight? You've got nothing to say to me after all that?" she squealed.

She watched his expression soften as he turned himself around on the railing. He reached towards her cupping her chin in his hand and tenderly ran his thumb over her lips.

Habitually she pursed her mouth against it, shifting her hand to the smooth skin of his forearm, hoping he would say something, anything that conveyed how he felt. She needed to hear it and he knew that.

"You know how I feel about you, Rin. I don't need to say anything, you already know."

With that he was gone. There was no jump, no watching him bound over the roof tops. Just a shimmer of light and he was no longer there.

She did know how he felt. He felt the same way she did but he couldn't say it. It was disappointing not to hear those fateful words leave his mouth, but she did know, at least that was something.

With the final dregs of rage still lingering in her system she scrunched the small scroll up in both hands and ripped it apart. The noise of shredding paper was oddly satisfying but it did little to lift the disdain she felt in her chest.

She wanted to punch something, hard, to feel each knuckle cracking in her hand. Not that it would do any good. There would be other chances, she kept telling herself. But she couldn't shake that feeling that when something like this happened it forced them both back several steps. She was tired of starting everything from the beginning, she wanted to carry on with what they had now.

She would see him again, that was for certain. The saving grace would be that he would be there too (she hoped) but they would be on duty... and it wouldn't be the same.

Yet again, they would have to keep their distance, would have to control that undeniable urge they both felt for each other.

Such is the life of a shinobi.

She glared at the twinkling lights of the village hating the situation she was currently in, hating that some higher power controlled every aspect of her life. But that was how her world worked; there was nothing she could do about it. Just like the rest of them she was a tool, a weapon to be used as and when the Hokage saw fit. It was unfair, but that was life. Life was never fair.

Like Kakashi said she just had to _go with it_.

She took a deep cleansing breath before stepping back through the threshold of the apartment, closing and locking the door as she went.

"There will be other chances..." she sighed dismally wandering into her bedroom in a bid to prepare for her next stint away from the village. Something she had hoped she wouldn't have to do for a very long time.

Needless to say that she was dreading it.


	11. Rewind, Play, Repeat

_Crossing Rubicon's._

_Rewind, Play, Repeat_

* * *

Rin had purposely taken her time getting ready for her latest mission. If the Hokage thought it so important to not allow her the proper time to prepare then he could bloody well wait. She hadn't had the time to sort through her laundry and get it cleaned which was one of her most major problems. She had planned to go to the laundrette in the morning, fat chance of that now. The first thing that would greet her when she got back would be a pile of smelly clothes... gross.

She had only a few pairs of underwear at her disposal and she felt an embarrassing heat come to her face at the thought that she would have to stop part way to her destination to buy more. All because the _Hokage_ wanted them to leave straight away. Selfish prick, she thought viciously.

She was in the right mind to tell Naruto to stick his mission right up his tight little sphincter. Hell, she felt she could cram the mission scroll up there herself given her current state of mind. Rin knew she would never do something like that in a million years, but the imagery of the fantasised torture session drove her on steam powered legs be that with a clenched jaw and a roaring fire in her chest.

She was so angry.

She prayed for _his_ sake this mission was important and not some stupid little errand that most shinobi were being piled off to these days. God help him if was the latter.

She was still annoyed from before, annoyed at being sent away again so soon, annoyed that she felt she was abandoning her duties at the hospital, annoyed that her and her wannabe lover were interrupted... again.

Despite the fact she was certain this mission would be spent mostly with Kakashi, she knew it just wouldn't be the same. They had to maintain a professional relationship to focus solely on the mission at hand. To lose focus, no matter how trivial the task, could have dire consequences. Rin knew that more than most, heaven knew she had learned from her past failures.

She groaned dismally through gritted teeth as she stalked through the village and hutching the large brown pack on her shoulder. She was tired and appropriately grumpy; anyone that got in her way was going to feel pain and lots of it.

A group of young boys donning hitai-ate's on their glossy brows dominated the street as she stomped through them. Didn't kids have curfews to abide by these days? It was well gone ten o' clock in the evening. Her parents would have ripped her a new breathing hole if she poled home after eight thirty when she was their age.

"Hey! Watch you're going, lady!" one of them hollered after a precise shunt of her elbow cracked him square in the chest.

"Fuck you," she grumbled mainly to herself briskly traversing through the rabble and crushing the strap of her pack in a relentless scrunch of her fist. Stupid kids don't know they're born.

She eventually reached Hokage tower and stopped at the foot of the entrance. She gazed up at the tall building wondering why she was even here. Her brow pinched together in annoyance before she huffed a distasteful sigh and trudged through the threshold.

Making her way to towards Naruto's office she was suddenly struck with a strange sense of nostalgia. This had been the first building she had entered on her return from Lightening. She found herself gazing around the walls in that same whimsical awe she had felt back then. Her anger dissolved and was replaced by that warm welcoming feeling she had experienced the first time she stepped on Konoha soil only a few weeks ago.

She didn't realise she had stopped in her tracks until a familiar body all but fell over her. He slammed a hand on her shoulder and she heard him grunt in surprise to all but stop himself sprawling all over the floor as he unintentionally shunted her to one side. Serves him right, Rin thought smugly even as she spun herself around to face the culprit with a startled cry.

"Rin, seriously, don't do that," Kakashi muttered at her obviously feeling a little foolish that had very nearly fell flat on his face. His voice carried a hint of amusement but he tried to mask it over with something more cynical. He failed to sound convincing to Rin's ears, however, which only made her giggle in his face.

"You should pay more attention to where you put your gigantic feet instead of burying your face in that filth you call a story, you clod!" she piped pointing a knowing finger at him and feeling a lot cheerier than she did mere moments ago. She figured then that it didn't matter that she would be unable to pursue her desires with the copy nin while they were away. There was a vast difference between being on a mission as a part of his team and doing what she had been doing for the past ten years. That and the extra money would come in handy.

Kakashi promptly snapped the little orange book closed and shoved it into the pouch resting on his backside.

"Well, perhaps if silly girls like yourself didn't stand in the middle of walkways the world would be a safer place," he deadpanned as he gave her one of his trademark eye crinkles and a knowing arch to his silver brow.

Rin swatted his arm playfully before turning on her heel and beckoning him to follow. "Let's stop fooling around and get moving. We _must_ be late if you've caught up with me," she retorted.

They walked together in a comfortable silence along the dimly lit corridor and Rin pretended not to notice the little sideways glances Kakashi was giving her. She wasn't sure if he was doing it to purposely make her aware that he was checking her out in the outfit she wore or whether he just couldn't help himself.

Her attire looked remarkably like her old clothes she had worn as a genin, in colour anyway; she wore a black body suit, a white corseted long camisole over the top and a large white belt strapped around her waist. The outfit was armoured to protect her from any sudden blows but she had worn it ever since she worked in Lightening. She didn't wear it because it made her feel particularly sexy, she had just found herself drawn back to a black and white combination as she got older.

She saw the outfit has her signature much like Kakashi saw his Jounin get up as his. His glances made her feel a little sexy though (seeing as he struggled to keep his roving eye off her for more than a few seconds) but a little paranoid at the same time, like she had a horrible stain forming somewhere on her person that he found so fascinating. She chose not to draw attention to it anyway. He would only deny it and she had no desire to embarrass him before their meeting with the higher power of the village.

They both approached the waiting area where a young dark haired girl sat at a desk just to the side of the door that led into the office. There were other people milling about the area, obviously waiting for an audience with the Hokage himself. Rin didn't recognise any of them so she didn't take much notice.

Kakashi held out a hand to her in a signal for her to stop, which she did, while he stepped over to the pretty young thing sitting at the table.

"Hinata-chan, Naruto is expecting us," he drawled uninterestedly, cocking his leg so he slouched a little to one side. The young girl, Hinata, looked up from the table and fixed the copy nin with a bewildered stare before she blushed furiously. She whimpered somewhat pathetically and ran a finger down the page on the table in front of her.

"Y-yes, Kakashi-sensei. He-he said to go straight through, sorry about that..." she squeaked as she flitted her sights back at him and smiled meekly. Rin noticed the young girls' eyes at that point, so pale and completely devoid of any pupil that made her seem ghostly in appearance. Was she part of the Hyuuga clan? She must be... no one else in the world had eyes like that. The young girl nervously turned to look at Rin who was gawping back stupidly with the inability to look away.

"This is Rin, she's on the list too, Hinata-chan," Kakashi droned as he offered a hand out to the dark haired medic who was still staring at the pretty girl and her gorgeous eyes.

Hinata simply nodded and smiled the sweetest of smiles that caused her to close her eyes in a cherub like fashion.

Rin vaguely heard Kakashi speaking to her suddenly realising that he had moved from his post and was now stood in front her with the flat of his hand against the wooden door. She blinked at him for a few seconds before shaking her head quickly and muttering, "Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were ready..." Kakashi grumbled back, arching his back awkwardly and shooting her a weird sideways glance that made him look like he thought she'd just that second gone completely bonkers.

Rin shifted her sights between him and the confused looking Hyuuga before smiling idiotically as she began to realise just what she had been doing. Gawking at strangers was not the best impression to make. But the girl was so pretty, she certainly wasn't at the little desk the first time she had come here to deliver her mission report, she would have remembered that.

She stood straight at that point, feeling a little silly and stalked towards the door as Kakashi pushed it ajar without knocking.

"Are you alright?" he whispered in her ear just as she began to walk past him. The heat from his mouth surrounded her and took over her good sense, strangely though the feeling wasn't arousing. The shiver in her spine was there, granted, but it made her feel a little light headed and she couldn't stop the manic grin that was now tugging at each corner of her mouth as she turned her head towards him. There was something about him, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but it made her think and do ridiculous things, this time was no exception.

She had no idea why she did what she did next, she felt brave and sort of giddy at the thought of spending goodness knows how long with the man she loved despite knowing the sexual contact was at an all time minimum. So she did it anyway completely oblivious that there were more people in the room besides her and Kakashi.

"She gots pretty eyes!" she all but shouted into the crowded room.

Silence dropped into the space like a bomb and Rin's entire body lost the basic function to create heat. She swore she could feel the icicles forming on her eyelashes and every single muscle in her body began to shrink.

Kakashi gawped at her, head tilted a little to one side, his dark eye so wide it could literally roll out of its socket and splat to the floor.

"Oh god..." she whimpered as she looked around the room to see that very same expression from all the other people in the room waiting to have an audience with the Hokage. Rin had just that second lost the will to live...

Kakashi scanned the area himself, lifting an arm and scratched the back of his head nervously before laughing softly in the same manner.

"Sorry, they don't let her out often," he chuckled just as he wrapped an arm around her and tried to tug her into the office. Rin had other ideas.

She pulled away from him sharply and slapped him hard in the chest earning her a slight wince from his loan dark eye. "Did you just insinuate that I'm crazy?" she hissed in his face feeling the horrific blush morph into a flare of rage towards her tall counterpart.

She could still feel the eyes of the people in the waiting room boring into her skin, but she didn't care anymore. She was more astonished by Kakashi's remark that pointed towards her being _let out of the nut house for the day_.

The copy nin just stared at her blankly and absently ran his fingers along the supposedly sore spot on his chest before he answered. "Well you are acting a bit weird, Rin," he replied dully.

She stared back, wide eyed and a little traumatised that he had said something so callous and so out of his own character to people in the room she didn't even know.

"I swear, when we're done here I'm going to knock your teeth out," she grumbled as she tried to push past him.

Kakashi slammed a hand on the doorframe completely blocking her path before shoving his face into hers. A mischievous glimmer shot across his onyx eye which in turn caused Rin to almost take a step back.

"Are you threatening me?" he growled flirtatiously his eye crinkling ever so slightly at the corner.

She merely frowned at him. What was with him tonight? They start off on a wonderful date with him singing praise to a small fishing hole that _floated in the stars_, to him all but ripping her clothes off in her apartment. Now he seemed to picking a fight with her after she'd already done an excellent job of making herself look and feel like a complete idiot in front of all these people. All these things just didn't seem within his nature... not the nature she had been so used to anyway. But in spite of how unusual she found it, she found she actually quite liked it. It was fun to see different, more adventurous sides to people, especially seeing as she'd known him for, like, forever and a day.

Eventually she craned herself forward to the point where their hitai-ate almost clashed together. She gave him the most evil smile she had before she responded coolly. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

If there was one thing that she was certain hadn't changed about him it was his inability to back down. She had seen him wave his hands in defeat at his own students but she knew for a fact that he found it impossible to step back when he was around her. Rin couldn't pin point exactly what it was but he had always been the same. He acted differently in her presence. Maybe she had an effect on him that she had yet to realise.

She watched his eye twitch, the signal she needed that he was gearing himself up for a fight, be it authentic or not. If he was going to try and embarrass her further he was in for one hell of a shock.

"I-is everything alright, Kakashi-sensei?" came the meek little voice of the pretty Hyuuga from the other side of the room. Both of them ignored her and continued to stare each other out in the doorway.

"You know I'll win," he remarked, his voice now cold and sterile.

"I beat you last time, remember?" she replied with a similar tone.

The staring ensued for what seemed like hours until she slowly raised a hand between them. Kakashi glanced down at her palm, poised as though to give him a high five. Just as he flitted his eye her way again and opening his mouth to speak, possibly to ask her what she was doing she shoved him, hard in the shoulder.

His body lurched backwards for a second and he instantly straightened himself as Rin turned her outstretched palm around and curled her fingers inwards beckoning him to retaliate.

His eye widened comically before he swung a strong arm around her neck and forced her to double over with a frightened squeal.

"OW! Kakashi, get off! You win, you win!" she cried as he pulled her through the door by her head. She knew this would happen. Rin knew Kakashi like the back of her hand. Aside from his collection of smutty books play fighting was his favourite thing in the world. The only downside being that he was a lot stronger than her and he hated losing.

* * *

Rin couldn't contain her laughter as her and the copy nin all but burst into the room, both of them a hazy mess of giggles. He had an arm locked firmly around her neck as he dragged her into the office forcing her feet to fight for purchase on the floor and resulting only in tripping herself up in his grip. This was a situation they had found themselves in a lot when they were younger. Play fighting was something Kakashi could never resist. He was most definitely a dog at heart.

"Ow! Lemme go!" she squealed between chortles while she tried to wrap her fingers around his arm in a frail attempt to get loose. She was more concerned with the people in the waiting area having an eyeful of her lycra clad ass than the fact that she was being manhandled by someone much bigger and physically stronger than her.

Kakashi had her head squashed against his chest and the only thing she was able to hear was his own rumbles of laughter as it left his lungs in loud thrumming gushes.

He stopped suddenly as a loud cough brought them both to a complete halt. Kakashi paused along with his prisoner crushed against him as they both stared at the Hokage and two other shinobi that gawped back like something out of a horror movie had just entered the room.

Briskly and with a strange cat like agility Rin never thought she had, they unravelled themselves from the awkward position and stood to attention. The heat on her face intensified as her brain began to piece together what had just happened.

In the simplest of terms her and Kakashi had just made themselves look like a couple of morons in front of the Hokage too of all people. The people out in the waiting room she could deal with, but this guy was her superior, her leader and he just stared at them like he'd just discovered a turd floating in his coffee.

If only the floor had a gullet, she would dive straight into it right now and she was certain that the copy nin would follow soon after, if not he would shove her out of the way to get to it first.

She was so embarrassed, more than she'd ever been and the flush all but burned her skin off, but she found it so difficult to hide the smile that was threatening to send her into another fit of giggles. The only way to keep it under some kind of control was to pull her lower lip into her mouth which she knew made her look like a fish. The thought only served to heighten the amusement.

She shifted her eyes to Kakashi as they bowed their apologies to the blonde Rokudaime at the head of the room and was astonished to find Kakashi doing the same back to her. His eye widened momentarily his expression saying: _Don't look at me, I don't know what happened… _before they both straightened and eyed over the other occupants of the room.

Rin recognised only one of the other two that stood before them; the pink haired medic, Sakura. She was staring bemusedly at her sensei almost as if she had never seen him laugh before. The expression was perplexing and a little unnerving to Rin. For someone who had studied under him for so long to look at him like that didn't seem normal.

There was another man in the room stood next to Sakura giving them both that same horrified stare. Rin didn't recognise him, but he had the strangest set of eyes she had ever seen and found herself simply staring back. He was indeed a very strange looking fellow and she wondered why she had never seen him before, even just in passing.

She vaguely noticed that he was wearing the same jounin style outfit that Kakashi wore but his hitai-ate was extended over the sides his face and he wore what looked to be only half a mask over his chin.

Rin could never understand that, was it a fashion amongst men to wear pieces of fabric over the chin? What purpose did it serve anyway? Kakashi she could forgive because his entire face, save for the eyes was covered in an act to conceal at least a little of his identity. But she could see this man's face quite clearly… maybe he was hiding something. Maybe he had a zit or an embarrassing tattoo he didn't want anyone to know about.

The thought forced a snort to escape her which made her bite down harder on her lip and turn away from the group. She needed to stop laughing but she just couldn't… this was so not good…

"Oh … kay?" came the raspy voice of the Hokage sitting at the table. "I'm not sure what that was all about, Sensei, but it's good to see you both in high spirits," he continued a wide, toothy but pleasant grin all but filling his whiskered face.

"So ... are you going to brief Kakashi-sensei and Rin-sensei, Naruto?" Sakura asked flatly as she turned back to Naruto.

Rin felt her heart flutter at the formality the young girl had used in conjunction with her name. Did she just call her ..._ Sensei_? She felt the glow on her cheeks flare in a split moment of pride that one of Kakashi's pupils thought so highly of her, only for her pride to be crushed by the hideous scowl she returned to her and her old friend.

"Seeing as neither of them could be bothered to turn up on time," the young girl ground out.

"We-we're really sorry, Hokage-sama, you see, I'm not used to receiving such hasty missions, I usually like more time to prepare, and ... you see ... the thing is..." Rin's flurry of panicked words was interrupted by an angry finger jutting viciously into her face. She heard herself gasp as she cowered away from Sakura who looked a little more than peeved. In fact she looked set to punch her square in the mouth. It was very unnerving to say the least.

"Don't make excuses! You're just as bad as your boyfriend!" she wailed, her pretty green eyes burning with a hidden fury that Rin found quite frightening. But even then she had come out with another comment that she found disturbingly bazaar.

"Wha-what? My _boyfriend_?" she stuttered as she lifted her hands defensively. She knew Sakura was referring to Kakashi, but it wasn't a word she associated with him. Was the deadly Copy Ninja her _boyfriend_? Maybe back when she was thirteen or so she would have liked to have called him that, but now it sounded ... well ... kinda stupid.

The hot tempered kunoichi quickly turned her attention to Kakashi who was standing as nonchalant as ever, both hands crammed into his pockets and simply watching the show with his lazy eye.

"You're a bad influence, Kakashi-sensei," she grumbled, crossing her arms furiously across her chest and glaring at him evilly. The copy nin just chuckled at her, like he had heard the insult a thousand times before. If all the little stories he had told Rin about the fiery medic were true then he probably had.

"Sakura-chan, calm down, they're here now," the man with the funny eyes peeped, waving a hand at her with a worried grimace pulling at his mouth.

"She's right though," Naruto called from behind the paper strewn table drawing the attention of all four attendees. "Time is ticking and I'm sure you're all eager to get away. Captain Yamato, Sakura-chan, you're both dismissed. The mission will be explained in more detail by Kakashi-sensei when you rendezvous at the main gate, I'll release them both as soon as possible."

The young man's voice had changed dramatically since the first time he spoke; his expression had lost its cheerful glow also. Rin didn't like it one bit and it caused a thick blob of discomfort to swill in her gut. If Sakura and the other guy - Captain Yamato, was it? - were on this mission as part of the team then why were they being dismissed from the briefing?

She watched with rapidly fraying nerves as both the candy haired medic and her tall counterpart left the room without uttering another word. As soon as the door was closed Rin switched her gaze back to Kakashi, still stood without a care before he slowly turned towards her and gave her a small shrug of his shoulders. He didn't know what was going on either. If only she had his nerves of steel...

"Rin-san?" Naruto's voice held a tremor of concern which irked her that little bit more, that and he was only addressing her ... not both of them. She shifted her eyes towards him, suddenly realising why he had sent that message to Kakashi and not her. He knew Kakashi wouldn't question the need to leave right away, he also knew that he would motivate her into committing to the mission before she even knew the details. It was a dirty trick in her book, but it had worked. Something was going on and she had a feeling that it wasn't good.

The young Hokage offered a hand to the chair directly opposite the desk, the very same one she had sat in when she had met this young man as he was now.

Rin was already aware that this boy was Minato-sensei's son; he looked so much like him it was hardly believable. He had this air about him that made him instantly likeable just like Minato-sensei. She was struck with an odd sense of longing as she studied the young man in front of her. She missed Sensei terribly. She felt the village had lost one of its most valuable treasures when he died.

She briefly recalled the first time she had laid eyes on Naruto as a baby, this screaming mass of limbs with the ugly black seal surrounding his plump belly ... and hated him ... loathed him for what the monster he contained had done to her, to her Sensei and her family. She found it impossible to hate him now, though she desperately wanted to. She wanted that hate to fuel her strength but it wouldn't come, it just wouldn't come.

"What's going on?" she heard herself mumble, not daring to move from the spot she currently stood. Naruto gave her a sympathetic smile before he spoke again in a voice that was too soft for the piercing blue of his eyes.

"I think you should sit down, Rin-san. I have some bad news..."

* * *

He could do nothing but stand and watch as he saw Rin turn to stone. She went completely rigid as she arched her back awkwardly, the only part of her body moving being the sporadic nervous flitting of her dark eyes and the clenching of her jaw. Kakashi had no idea what the _bad news_ could possibly be, but if Naruto was asking her to seat herself then it had to be bad in every sense of the word.

"Bad news?" she quipped smiling as she spoke. The smile was a nervous reaction, one she used often to mask her fear. Kakashi had seen the expression more times than he could count and yet he found his body reacted to it the exact same way each time. It made him feel cold, like he was standing in a draft, he could feel his skin prickle against the fabric of his clothes and he hated it.

Naruto still offered his hand to the seat in front of the desk seeming unwilling to say any more until Rin had taken her place.

"Rin, the Hokage wants you to sit down. I recommend you take his advice," Kakashi said flatly.

She span her head towards him, her stare almost hateful before she slowly manoeuvred herself around the chair and warily parked herself in it. She cautiously wrapped her arms around her stomach and leaned into them with a quivering sigh. If there was one thing in the world Kakashi hated, it was seeing Rin so emotionally down. He could take all the physical torture in the world; the pain would feel like nothing compared to seeing her like this. He dreaded to think what the information she was about to be given was, he dreaded to think how she would react to it... how _he_ would react to it.

"What's going on?" she asked again, her voice a mere vibration against the sound of the air-conditioning unit. She was clearly already upsetting herself before she even knew what the information was, already preparing herself for the worst.

Naruto blew out a sigh, uncertain of how he should word what he was about to tell her. He shifted uneasily through scrolls and paper work that littered his desk before he folded his hands over it keeping his eyes trained on the carpet in the space between them.

"Your team leader in Lightening country, Satoshi..." he started softly.

Rin's head jerked upwards at the mention of her old team mate's name.

"What? What about him? What's happened?" she questioned hurriedly.

"In your mission report you stated that he was diagnosed with the virus you were sent to investigate, well..."

"He's dead... isn't he?"

Naruto faltered before he lowered his eyes to the desk. "I'm so sorry, Rin-san," he whispered.

Kakashi felt her breathing stop, physically felt it almost to the point where he couldn't breathe himself. He didn't know the man, not personally anyway. He was a Jounin medic a few years older than he was but he couldn't help feeling rocked to know that he was dead.

Rin had told him little snippets of this _Satoshi-san_ in passing. But by the way her eyes shone whenever he was mentioned it was obvious that she cared deeply for him. Kakashi recalled feeling quite jealous of the fact that this man had spent the past ten years doing what he felt _he_ should have. Taking care of her, protecting her... it was _his_ job, not some random medic's.

Rin didn't speak often of her team in Lightening, she didn't really speak of the place at all, but when she did her voice carried a hue of longing. She obviously missed them. She had spent the last ten years with them so he guessed it was only natural.

He saw Rin's eyes widen dramatically and her lips trembled before she bowed her head towards the floor with a soft quivering whimper.

"When did he die?" she muttered pulling her arms tighter around her midriff.

"I received a message this morning, according to that he passed away two days ago."

"Oh," she croaked as the life seemed to drain from her being. He could almost see her spirit ghosting through her pores and dissipating into the air like smoke. Kakashi wanted to say something, maybe that he was sorry for her loss? That everything was going to be alright? He didn't know what to do and it did nothing other than seal his mouth tighter and root him to the spot.

The thick silence began to expand; the only sounds making their way to Kakashi's ears were that of the air-conditioning unit and his own breaths. The atmosphere had become so dense it was stifling and all he could do was stand and watch it all unfold. There was nothing he could do or say to make any of this any better. He was completely helpless and to him there was no worse situation to be in.

Rin just sat there supposedly ingesting the information. It must have come as a shock but she showed very little sign of feeling any kind of emotion. She just sat there, staring through the wood of Naruto's desk. She was still in that awkward huddled position, arms wrapped securely around her stomach and her knees locked together.

He found himself willing her to say or do something, even cry. If she burst into tears right here and now at least it was something, that she was actually _feeling_ something. But she didn't, she just sat there like her soul had been sucked out of her and only the husk of her body remained.

Habitually he glanced at the young jinchuuriki who was looking back at him with an apprehensive glint in his eye. Naruto always hated being the bearer of bad news, especially news as awful as this. But it was his duty as the village leader to take such things on the chin.

They regarded each other for a while, neither of them sure what to say, if anything at all. Eventually Kakashi shifted his gaze back to the dark haired medic. Her eyes were moving now and another minute or so trudged by as she lifted her head and faced Naruto dragging a shaky sigh into her lungs.

"You're sending me back… aren't you?" she quivered. It seemed that the thought of being sent back to Lightening bothered her a whole lot more than finding out her friend had passed away. Her reaction didn't come as a surprise; she reacted the exact same way when she was informed of her parent's deaths. She closed herself off to begin with, shutting all emotions down and suppressed them within herself until the pressure became too much. After which she exploded like a volcano…

He remembered the day vividly. He remembered her exiting the morgue with a thin smile simply stating she was ready to go home and that she felt fine. She was far from fine, she was upset and she was angry…

Kakashi swallowed hard at the memory of her smashing up her belongings in the tiny bedsit she rented in a blind frustrated rage when the information finally sank in. It was only physically restraining her that made her stop and actually think about what she was doing. That was when the tears came … and they never seemed to end.

He prayed she wouldn't go down that route again, it was so unhealthy and if he was honest with himself, Rin's anger was frightening. She was a lot stronger physically now than she was then, he hated to think of the mess she would make if she erupted like she did all those years ago. Not necessarily to the things around her but to him if he tried to get in her way. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance against her in full force.

Naruto proceeded to look at her with sympathetic eyes before he dropped his gaze shamefully and nodded his head slowly.

"No," she stated sharply with a harsh shake of her head. "No, I'm not going back. We had a contract, Naruto-sama!"

"I know we had an arrangement that you'd be stationed in the village for at least one year, Rin-san. But the hospital won't release Satoshi's body without your signature. You were the one that treated him for his condition so..."

"Send them a letter with my signature on then! Get them to send the release form here and I'll sign it! I'm not going back there!" she snapped flailing an arm as if the action would get her point across clearer.

The rage was building already…

"You know it doesn't work that way, Rin-san. I'm really sorry, if there was any other way…"

"What about Yumi-chan? She's still there! She can sign the release forms! Don't make me go back there! Please, Naruto-sama, please?" She was begging now, her voice getting higher in pitch as she spoke.

"She's not a kunoichi anymore… she gave up her licence years ago, don't you remember? She's just a nurse now so she doesn't have the authority like you do. I don't have a choice in this, I'm sorry."

Rin bowed her head again at that point emitting a noise that sounded like a choked sob. Kakashi saw then that it wasn't rage he could hear in her voice, it was fright. Something had happened in Lightening, something that scared her terribly, it was as clear as day now. He watched her drag her fingers through her long glossy hair in utter frustration as she drew long shaky breaths into her lungs in a desperate attempt to calm herself. She didn't want to go back, she was running out of arguments and she was starting to panic.

"Naruto," Kakashi called hoping to dominate the conversation in an attempt to ease, Rin's apprehension. "Why don't you explain what it is you want us to do? I'm assuming there's a reason you're sending a four man cell on a one man mission," he drawled genuinely interested as to what his role would be in all of this.

Rin sat up a little at that point, seeming that the sound of Kakashi's cool, controlled voice calmed her somehow. He hoped it did. He hoped she wouldn't turn into that monster he had seen all those years ago when she couldn't handle the truth.

He saw Naruto nod once before he picked up a large scroll and tossed it Kakashi's way.

The copy nin caught it with a single hand and unfurled the paper as Naruto chose to explain the situation anyway.

"The four of you will make your way to Machenich village, on the coast of Lightening…"

"It's pronounced _masheesh_; the 'N' is silent…" Rin interrupted irritably. Kakashi found himself sighing with what could only be relief. At least she was listening.

"Right, heh…" Naruto flushed a little at being put in his place. But that was okay he was more than used to it by now.

"So, the four of you will travel together as one cell. I'm not issuing a leader on this mission because I don't really think it needs one. You'll still be known as Team Kakashi though."

Kakashi saw him smile at the mention of the team title, causing him to grin a little under the mask as he eyed over the mission scroll. It was nice that the Hokage reminisced about his former team.

"Once you get there and you've sorted digs out and junk, you'll need to go to the hospital where you, Rin-san, will be asked to sign the release papers… and identify Satoshi's body."

Rin stiffened as soon as her name was mentioned and she swallowed audibly as she took the information in. She wouldn't be expected to enter the morgue alone, but Kakashi had a feeling that she would merely to save face in front of the others. She was far from weak but she honed a fear of appearing weak in front of other people, had done for a long time. He would try to convince her that someone accompany her, but he knew he would lose the argument. He guessed he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

"After that, Captain Yamato and Sakura-chan will arrange to bring him back home for the funeral. I'm not expecting either of you to have any part in those arrangements."

Rin lifted herself up from her crouch at that point. She sighed as if to gain back a little composure before she spoke in an unusually harsh tone, "And Kakashi? What's his role?"

The copy nin glanced towards her at that point. She was worried Naruto would have an ulterior motive for him and he felt his insides grow warm for her concern. He was being sent as part of the team regardless, Naruto had already confirmed this, but even he was interested to know exactly why he would be attending.

"Kakashi is being sent as your support. You're good friends right? Just seems like a perfect match to me," Naruto replied with that same toothy smile.

"What do you mean, _support_?" Rin pressed, not entirely satisfied with the Hokage's answer.

"I _have_ sat and read your mission report, and the diary of events you gave to me when you came back. I read how distressing it was there and I can see that you're worried about going back. So I thought sending Kakashi-sensei with you would make the trip a little easier on you. That and I feel I owe you somethin' you know... for breaching the contract..." he trailed off and rubbed the back of his blonde head somewhat nervously obviously feeling a little guilty for going back on his supposed promise to the medic. These things happened though, and if the hospital where the corpse was being held demanded a signature from her then that was what they would have to do.

"That's alright with you, isn't it, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto mused, shifting his blue eyes towards him. Kakashi noticed Rin do the same only with the craning of her neck a sorrowful hope etched into her pretty features. She was silently begging him now, pleading with him to accept his mission but she needn't have bothered. He had no intentions of turning it down.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," he confirmed giving them both a reassuring crease of his eye.

He watched Rin relax in her seat, the sigh she emitted grateful and relieving all at the same time. Were it up to him, Kakashi wouldn't have had it any other way. By the sounds of it she needed the support of a team mate and Naruto was probably right in assuming that the copy ninja was the best ninja for the job.

"So, the mission is relatively simple. Get to the village in Lightening, release the body and send it back. I'm issuing the team a week's leave when you return as policy states."

With details clear and understood, Kakashi rolled up the scroll in his hands and crammed it in his rear pouch and nodded towards the young Hokage.

Rin pushed herself to her feet and bowed towards the whiskered man, much to his surprise. "Thank you, Hokage-sama ... and ... apologies for our entrance earlier. It won't happen again," she croaked bashfully.

Naruto blinked at her momentarily before he laughed heartily which caused her to raise her head questioningly at him.

"It's fine, and don't let Sakura-chan get to you. You're not a true member of Team Kakashi until she's bawled you out for something!" he chortled as he sat back in his chair.

Rin straightened herself and regarded the information before she slowly turned to face Kakashi with a comical arch of her brow. He merely shrugged at her, not to signify that he didn't know the answer himself but mainly because it was partly true. Every single member of the team had been on the sticky end of Sakura's rage, it was an in-running joke between them that her anger was part of some deranged initiation into the group. Sakura was a nice girl and one hell of a medic, but her temper was vile, Kakashi would be the first one to point that out to anyone.

Rin smiled at his response, her eyes lighting up a little which was refreshing to see given the horrible news she had not long received before she turned her attention back to Naruto. She nodded her head slowly and bowed again before him.

"Thank you ... Hokage-sama," she replied softly her voice dripping with gratitude to all but be told that she was now a member of this special little team.

It seemed that Rin quite liked the idea of being a member of Team Kakashi.

* * *

Sakura and Tenzou were waiting by the gates as they were told to do, but it seemed more than clear they hadn't been informed of the ins and outs of the mission. There had been no sympathetic glances from either of them when they left the office which had been Kakashi's first clue.

They had no idea the dead shinobi they were tasked to collect had connections with a member of their team, at least he hoped not. Not that it really mattered, It was entirely up to Rin if she wanted the other two to know or not, and Kakashi had a feeling that she wouldn't be in much of a talking mood, not anytime soon anyway. It wasn't fair to try and coax her to talk about it, so he would let her be until she was good and ready. She would do the same if it were him.

She had regained a lot of the sunshine colour to her face and the bounce in her step was gradually returning, but her expression was still flat, like she was in a world of her own. That was until she spotted the others in the near distance.

"What's his name again?" Rin asked leaning towards the copy nin so she could almost whisper it at him seeming that she feared he would hear her at this distance.

"Yamato," he replied dully. Although Kakashi still liked to call him Tenzou it still didn't give anyone else the authority to do so. He was still under cover from the ANBU and Kakashi knew all too well how those rules worked.

Rin arched a brow at him before quickly looking away and thinking about his answer. "Naruto called him Captain, though," she muttered thoughtfully.

"Ah, yes. I was hospitalised when he first joined the team as team leader in my absence. He fills in for me every now and again when I'm not available."

"When you're in hospital?"

"Heh, yeah..."

"You should be more careful with that eye of yours. Obito didn't give it to you for you to hurt yourself with it."

The comment took Kakashi a little by surprise. He glanced towards her and saw she was now looking at the floor with a thoughtful expression etched into her face. Even though he was certain the comment was kindly meant it didn't stop him resenting it just a little bit. If he had the power to control the sharingan to its full potential he wouldn't hesitate to do so. It wasn't his fault he didn't descend from the Uchiha clan like Obito did. It wasn't his fault that it drained his chakra twice as fast as any of his other techniques. Though he guessed it was his own doing when he over used it. But still, he felt that she had been a bit callous with the remark and felt a need to at least try and defend himself.

"I don't enjoy being bedridden every time I come back from battle, you know. Liquid diets aren't exactly my cup of tea," he grumbled irritably turning back to the path.

"I'm just saying, Kakashi. It's just the damage you could do to yourself with that thing could one day be ... un-repairable," she warned before she waved a hand to dismiss what she'd just said.

"Look, forget I said anything. I'm sorry," she murmured her apology trailing off as she spoke.

Kakashi groaned inwardly at that, now he felt guilty. He didn't want her to apologise for something she meant. Why should she? She was just concerned for his well being, there was nothing wrong with that. But even after all this time the subject of his precious sharingan eye was still as sensitive as ever. It wasn't something he liked to talk about be that with Rin or anyone else, but he found he was a little shocked that the conversation hadn't really come up until now. He figured that maybe now wasn't the best time to inform her that the eye had once cost him his own life... that instance being one of the only times he had been given a second chance. How he would ever be able to repay Naruto for that debt he would never know...

He turned towards her again, opening his mouth to speak, to apologise himself and confirm that he understood what it was she meant to see her gazing blankly into the distance. She sighed deeply quite possibly unaware that he was looking at her. She didn't look like her usual bubbly self and it hurt him to see her look so down.

Satoshi's death was bothering her, but she wasn't willing to let the hurt come to the surface. It would seem strange to some that someone as emotionally open as Rin would hide such a thing. But since the death of Obito, she had always struggled to come to terms with losing people, and Rin had lost a fair few, as had he… But Kakashi would be there when she finally broke, and he would do his utmost to sit and piece her back together. That was his mission, he realised. Not just to offer her his support on the journey, it was to keep her from falling apart. And he was certain that she would do at some point.

Naruto confirmed he had read the events diary and the mission report she had handed to him. Kakashi found himself wishing he had read it too, just to see exactly what happened out there and why it affected her so much. He hoped that she would tell him herself, he would just have to wait and see. He wasn't going to ask her about it, if she wanted to talk she would, if she didn't, well, that was fine too. Rin didn't pry into his own rambled musings and he wasn't about to do the same to her.

He forced thoughts of what would happen in the near future to the rear of his mind when the two other members of the team both turned their heads and stood to attention as Rin and Kakashi approached them.

"Do you have the details for the mission, senpai?" Tenzou questioned holding out his hand presumably for the mission scroll.

"Exactly what did Naruto tell you?" Kakashi retorted, hoping the blonde jinchuuriki hadn't told him or Sakura about Satoshi's connection with Rin. He was almost certain he hadn't but Naruto was unpredictable at times and had a tendency to let his mouth do his thinking for him. Sakura's answer confirmed that Naruto had indeed kept that part of the mission for Kakashi to explain at some point.

"All we know is we're going to a tiny village in Lightening. Naruto said something about needing to talk to you guys privately before we were allowed to know anything else," she stated irritably. She seemed a little dejected that Naruto had dismissed her before the briefing had really begun.

Kakashi reached into his rear pouch and pulled the scroll from its depths and passed it to Tenzou who took it from him almost instantly.

"The details are all in there but to put it simply, we're on a retrieval mission," Kakashi drawled as he watched his teammate eye over the scripture in his hands.

"Satoshi? Is he a Konoha shinobi?" Tenzou asked quietly tapping his finger on the scroll supposedly where the dead ninja's name lay in ink.

"He was," Rin intercepted as she approached the team from behind Kakashi. "He was my team leader when I was stationed in the village. We're going there to retrieve his body and bring him home..." she trailed off turning her head slightly to one side before sighing and turning back to the team.

"I'll warn you now, the people there aren't too fond of ninja. So it may be best that we keep a low profile when we get there," she continued cynically.

Kakashi and the others nodded in agreement. This wouldn't be the first place they had gone to that didn't much like the presence of ninja. Ninja were a bad omen in many civilian settlements. They had a tendency to take famine, blood and war wherever they went, so it wasn't much of a surprise that they were shunned in the smaller, more remote villages of the world. It wasn't like they would be staying long; a couple of day's at most so keeping low to the ground wouldn't be too difficult.

"Anyway, where's Sasuke? Is there a reason he wasn't invited on this mission? He _is_ part of the team right?" she mused planting a hand on her hip. She seemed mildly disappointed at the absence of the dark haired sharingan user.

"Sasuke-kun can't go on missions that take him outside the borders of Fire Country. He's still wanted in other countries for the crimes he committed. Naruto is still negotiating with them so it's just easier to keep him away from any trouble for now," Sakura responded coolly.

Rin knitted her brows together as Sakura spoke when Kakashi suddenly realised that he hadn't told her that Sasuke was an ex deserter. He was in fact still wanted for the attempted kidnapping of the Raikage's brother, so having Sasuke venturing through Lightening would be a very bad move.

"Crimes? Sasuke's a criminal?" she pressed just as Kakashi planted a hand on her shoulder to gain her attention. She turned her head and flicked her dark eyes up at him curiously possibly hoping he would give her the answers she wanted to such a pointless question.

"It's a very long story, one that we should probably save for another time. All you need to know is Sasuke had his reasons and he's still repaying his debt," he droned flatly.

Rin simply lowered her gaze as Kakashi took his hand from her shoulder and hutched the dark green pack on his back. He watched her motion her eyes towards Tenzou who seemed to straighten himself as her dark gaze settled on him.

"So instead we have...?" she clicked her fingers at him which caused Kakashi to groan inwardly and habitually roll his eyes. She had forgotten his name... again.

"Uh... Yamato, and you are?" Tenzou held out a hand to his new team mate and was greeted by one of her wonderful warm smiles as she grasped it and gave it a single shake.

"I'm Rin, pleased to meet you, _Yamato_." Rin almost slurred his name as she spoke.

The copy nin shook his head at her as he beckoned Sakura to follow before walking through the huge wooden gates towards the woodland, sure that the other two would follow which they did not too far behind.

"Ah, Rin-san. You were a member of Kakashi-senpai's team when you were both young, right?" Tenzou asked curiously, his question perking Kakashi's ears as they strolled along the dusty path.

He heard Rin giggle at the question before she answered, "Yeah, that's right. Do you and Kakashi know each other well then?"

"Well, I've worked with him a few times."

"Was he as much of a pain in the ass then as he is now?"

"Uhm ... no ... but he spoke about you a lot though, on our first mission together,"

"Really? Wow, all good things, I hope."

Kakashi intercepted the conversation before Tenzou could answer, hoping to gain a laugh or two out of the group. It felt like a shame to waste such a perfect opportunity to raise that blush on Rin's pretty face. That and she had just called him a _pain in the ass_ so he owed her one.

"Of course, Rin, I only ever say good things about teammates. I also told him about the time you called Minato-Sensei _papa_ when you couldn't tie up your own leg bindings," he called behind himself. It was a lie, he had never spoken of the event until now, purely because he had forgotten about it until that very moment. It didn't take long for him to get a reaction in the form of a startled gasp and he was sure he heard Sakura stifle a chuckle under the hand she now held to her face.

"What? You still remember that? I was like ten years old!" she wailed from the rear.

"Did that really happen, Rin-sensei, or is Kakashi-sensei making it up?" Sakura chortled as she craned her neck to take a good look at the two team members lingering behind.

"I don't want to talk about it..." she grumbled her voice sounding like she had a huge smile on her face which was the desired effect. The little memory was funny nonetheless, funny and insanely innocent. It was nice to remember things, sometimes.

* * *

The group trudged through the woodland one agonising step at a time, the night creating a strange atmosphere as the sounds from the distance sounded louder than they should have. Rin took another quick glance around herself to see that everything looked the same as it did an hour ago. If she didn't know any better she would have thought she was being led in circles.

It was unusual to travel at night if there was no particular need to, but the Hokage seemed quite adamant they get to Lightening as soon as possible. Surely that didn't mean they couldn't rest along the way, it took a good few days to get to Lightening country...

Rin couldn't understand the rush; it wasn't as if there was anyone back in Konoha that had any rights to the corpse they were tasked to collect. She sighed at the thought that the only thing Satoshi-san had that was even remotely close to family... was her. He had no parents, no wife, no children and as far as she knew most if not all of his friends had been killed in the last shinobi war. Even Yumi-chan had abandoned the team once she'd had her daughter. But he had remained optimistic. He had always been smiling and laughing, always in high spirits even despite the horror he was forced to witness everyday and the crippling illness that ate away at his insides.

She knew he was dying, she knew there was nothing more anyone could do for him, the infection was too far gone by the time a cure for the virus had been created, but she wasn't expecting the news so soon after leaving him behind. She certainly didn't expect it to upset her so much. Truth be told, it had broken her heart.

She wished she had tried harder to convince him to travel home with her. She wished he hadn't died in that disgusting little village. She wished she had thanked him just one more time for everything he had done for her, for keeping her sane. If it wasn't for him and his constant words of encouragement she feared she would have lost her mind years ago. It wasn't fair... it just wasn't fair.

She dived into her thoughts allowing the breeze to swallow her in its coolness absently keeping her eyes on the three members of her new team walking in front. It should, by rights, be her that was leading them to their destination but the sugary thought of simply turning and fleeing was beginning to get the better of her. Not that her exhausted legs would get her very far. They were being driven by will power alone and she prayed the team would be setting up camp soon.

Rin pulled her arms around her stomach, feeling that aching sickness bubbling away in her guts, just like it had done in the Hokage's office. This was the worst thing that could have happened since walking back through the village gates. With each step she took forwards she felt like she was reversing back into the nightmare she had left behind. She could almost feel it slithering over her form, consuming her.

Machenich Village wasn't a village at all, not in her eyes. It had been her prison for the past decade. She feared the streets, she feared the reprisal of their presence there, they all had. She had felt trapped in the small town, completely isolated from the outside world. It was more than clear they weren't welcome there. Simply shopping for groceries was a task and a half, only a select few shops dared to let them pass through their doors, a good thing too lest they resorted to stealing... or starve.

There was a fair few other ninja tasked with helping those who showed next to no gratitude, perhaps they knew they were there for their own gain, to stop the virus from spreading, from becoming a worldwide epidemic. But it was either that or burn the village to the ground so they endured it ... but which one was the lesser of two evils?

Rin had to wonder, she sometimes found herself wishing it had been the latter, maybe then there wouldn't be any suffering, maybe then she would never known of Machenich's existence. She never would have been sent there in the first place. It was a horrible thought, to want people dead, innocent people at that and she felt nothing but guilt for allowing herself to think it. But some days when the loneliness had begun catching up with her, it was all she could do to keep herself from going crazy.

She'd hated it there, the only things that got her through each day was the tiny steps closer she got to discovering a cure, to end the torment and allow her to go home and the calming words of her team leader who held her hand through the entire ordeal. That and the thought that a certain somebody would welcome her back to Konoha with open arms... how thankful she was to Kakashi that he did. She had lost count of how many times she had sat alone in her tiny room watching the lightening dancing across the sky and racing the rain drops as they cascaded down the window pane, just longing to leave. Longing for it all to end. But towards the end of the fifth year, no further forward with the research, coming across wall after wall, she had just started to accept the thought that she would never leave that place... that she would die there.

The thought of going back there made her stomach lurch, she seriously thought she had seen the last of that place... she thought she could finally put it all behind her or at least try to forget it, but life was never that simple.

How could she simply push ten years of her life to the back of her head? She couldn't. She had managed to force the horrific imagery to the bowels of her brain the moment she left but now she could feel it all coming back, frothing to the surface like the nightmare had never ended. The thoughts played in her mind like a dictaphone, playing, rewinding and repeating. She was too tired to stop it; she had no will to stop it.

Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was the blood on her hands, every time she shut out the outside world all she could hear were the screams, desperate pleas for help that she couldn't answer. She couldn't help them, all she could do was watch as the virus ate them from the inside out, watch as their flesh rotted and fell from them in clumps of matted gore. All she could do was clear it up from the floor with a fake smile and pretend nothing was wrong. All she could do was reassure them that everything was going to be fine when they were dying. The move to pathology had been a blessing... at least she couldn't watch them die anymore ... they were already dead.

"Rin-sensei? Rin-sensei are you alright?" came a sweet recognisable voice as something warm landed on her shoulder and stopped her in her tracks. She forced herself to focus, staring up at the concerned faces that looked back at her. Sakura was stood directly in front of her with a hand planted firmly on her shoulder, her eyes flitting about her face with her pink brow furrowed in a worried frown.

"Are you okay? You look really pale," the young girl soothed as she tried to place her free hand on Rin's forehead. She was checking for signs of a fever. She wasn't sick and she had no desire to allow her team to think otherwise.

Rin moved away sharply not wanting the attention she seemed to be drawing to herself. "I'm just tired, that's all. Is it possible to stop for the night as soon as we reach an inn or something? We've been travelling for hours," she complained.

Sakura turned around to look at the two men who were now regarding each other until they both nodded and turned back to Rin.

"We don't need an inn. We have Yamato," Kakashi drawled knowingly. "And you should have said something if you're tired," he scolded lightly.

"What do you mean, _we have Yamato_?" Before she had even finished her question the ground was shaking around her feet and a two story wooded structure sprouted from the ground not ten steps away from her. She just stood there, gawking at the beautiful house that was now standing proud in front of her.

"It grew... from the grass... like a tree..." she stuttered pointing a shaky finger at the building.

"You like it, Rin-san?" Yamato piped triumphantly, cocking his leg to one side and slapping a hand on the wall of the house closest to him.

She shifted her sights to the tall creepy eyed man and pointed more harshly towards the newly grown building. "You did that? You made that thing just... grow?" she squalled.

Yamato just grinned at her, a sweet grin that made him look far more attractive than that scowl he had given her back in Naruto's office. All thoughts about going to Lightening had vanished from her mind as the awe from what she had just witnessed began to take over. She gasped in wonder at the beautiful structure and stepped towards it.

"That's amazing! I've never met anyone that could perform wood techniques. I thought the blood-limit had died out with the second Hokage! It's amazing!"

She heard the wood user laugh somewhat nervously before she opened the perfectly formed door at the foot of the building and stepped through the threshold. Even the inside of the house was perfect. Perfect wooden beams ran across the ceiling, perfect floor boards seated at the base of the house and a perfect banister climbed upwards with the perfect set of stairs on each side of the expansive room she was currently standing. And there wasn't a single splinter in sight. She could get used to this.

She heard the others enter behind her while she just stood in her amazed stupor.

"You know, some people would think you've never seen a house before..." Kakashi remarked amusedly as he began to ascend the stairway to her right.

Rin rewarded him with an unimpressed glare. "Well I've never seen a house just grow out of the ground before..." she retorted before promptly sticking out her tongue as a gesture of triumph. He merely chuckled at her and continued to climb the wooded steps to the top floor, the others following closely behind.

"Oh and Rin?" the copy nin called from the viewing gallery directly above the spot Rin was still standing marvelling at Yamato's handiwork. She craned her neck to look at him, his arms dangling from the railing as he looked down at her. The other two were nowhere in sight, though she could hear them moving around, it seemed there was yet another room at the top of the stairs. Impressive to say the very least.

"When you come upstairs and you've unpacked your futon we all need to talk," he stated flatly.

She felt her stomach sink at that point. She didn't particularly want to talk about anything; she didn't particularly want to think either. She was still reeling from the news of Satoshi-san's death and she was hoping for a little more time to gather her bearings before she felt she could open up about it... she didn't pry into his personal musings... why was he doing this to her?

"Talk about what?" she responded coolly, lowering her sights to the wall opposite.

"About this virus that killed your team leader. I think it's your new teams' best interests that we know what to prepare ourselves for. Wouldn't you agree? I don't want to be sent on a simple mission to be told I have some horrible disease when I get back to Konoha."

She craned her neck back up at him again, feeling a little relieved that he didn't want to know anything personal. She wasn't ready for that yet. But that didn't mean she wanted to go into detail about the virus either. It was a horrible disease; she wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy... if she had one.

"Oh, well we managed to get it under control before I left. So there's really nothing to worry about. We should be given an inoculation before we enter the hospital anyway as a precaution."

"I still think we should know a little bit more about it, Rin."

She lowered her head back to the wall, knowing that he was right but wishing he wasn't. It was only fair that they were clued up about the illness; maybe it would make Kakashi understand a little as to why she didn't want to go back. Eventually she nodded looking back up at him slouched on the viewing gallery and gave him a weak smile.

"I'll be up in a minute," she said softly.

With that Kakashi gave her one of his trademark eye creases, pushed himself from the banister and sauntered into the other room at the top of the stairs.

Rin sighed dismally as she allowed her head to loll back on her shoulders. As long as the subject remained solely on the virus, then she figured she wouldn't have a problem. She just hoped no one asked her about Satoshi-san... she had no idea what she would say about him... or if Kakashi could look her in the face again if he found out the truth behind their so called professional relationship. She had a feeling that it would all come out in time but she didn't think she would ever be prepared for it.

After a few moments she stepped over to the stairs to her right and began to climb one step at a time figuring that she didn't have to tell Kakashi anything if she didn't want to. He didn't need to know anyway. Satoshi-san was dead and it wasn't like anything had really happened between them, not really. But she had a feeling that Kakashi wouldn't like that fact that Satoshi-san wanted to mean more to her than just her team leader...


	12. Walking Through the Gates of Hell

WAAAAAAAA! I'm really sorry I made you all wait again! Real life is just... ugh... you know how it is. That and I've been working a lot on my artwork so I kinda neglected this story for way too long!

Anyway, I actually had loads of trouble getting this chapter written... there's so many places I want to get to with this story such as the OH SO AWESOME SMEXING and such but all that isn't planned in till later (BOOO!) but yeah, I finally got this done and now I can start moving this story to where I want it to be, YAY! Enjoy! Saph

* * *

Disclaimer: Naruto ain't mine but all the mistakes you may find here are :P.

Crossing Rubicon's

Walking Through the Gates of Hell

oOo

The distancing had started already, the copy nin had been able to see it during the groups conversation mere hours ago about the disease that had killed Rin's team mate. Not once had the dark haired medic made eye contact with anyone and every time she spoke she became more listless and disinterested in her surroundings. She chose instead to stay huddled tightly on her futon in the candle lit room and stare blankly into the open flame.

It was disappointing that she showed such disregard for her teams' interests and concerns, but Kakashi didn't have it in him to pull her up on it. It wasn't that she didn't care; the subject was painful for her. It was just _that _simple and whether she cared to believe it or not, Kakashi knew how she felt, more so than the others did.

He lay now in the warmth of his old bedroll staring blankly at the hard wood ceiling while he listened to the heavy breaths of sleepers in the same room. Sleep had eluded Kakashi tonight, not that it was anything unusual by any means. Ever since the tragic death of his father, sleep was something the copy nin had long given up seeking, though thankfully his restlessness only happened in bouts. There had been times when he felt his insomnia would drive him insane but it appeared that his body had long gotten used to lack of rest especially when his brain felt there was thinking to be done, be that rational or otherwise.

Tonight was one of those nights.

The infection Rin had been sent to "deal" with was something Kakashi found difficult to put into words, though his close friend had tried her upmost to do just that despite the distance she had tried to put between herself and the others. It sounded horrendous for want of a better term. He couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors she must have been put through, and he had seen his fair share of blood and gore. His stomach was a strong one, but he highly doubted he had the palette to deal with the sights Rin had described in her story.

The way she described the disease made it sound parasitic; invading the bloodstream, destroying the platelets before breaking down the blood cells taking away the body's ability to even heal properly. According to Rin ninja were at particular risk as not only would the blood be infected but also the chakra channels as it ate away at the cell walls making it impossible to focus or even use ones chakra as an extended life force. Sometimes it led to Bleed outs, sometimes massive organ failure but the final result was always death. If the infection wasn't caught in time there was no cure, end of story. It sounded terrifying, what a horrible way to die...

The one good thing that came from the research the teams had gathered about the infection was it came from a contaminated water supply nearby that had since been quarantined. According to Rin the illness was highly infectious but as far as she was aware, what with newly developed treatments and an inoculation to ward it off altogether, there had been no new cases before she left. At least that was something positive.

Only one thing bothered Kakashi immensely about their journey to Machenich; the inoculation. Ever since he was a child the copy nin had suffered with Trypanophobia; an irrational fear of needles, a fear he had unfortunately never grown out of and doubted he ever would. He would have the jab, this was a given seeing as he had no intentions of contracting a virus of any strain. But that didn't mean the thought of having someone puncture his skin with a thin slither of metal was any less terrifying.

Sighing, Kakashi turned himself on his side within the thin sheets of his bed using an arm to support his tired head against the rough cloth of his pack he used as a pillow. Again all he was able to do was stare into the wall at the far end of the room and at Rin's empty bedroll next to his. She still hadn't come back from her trip to find _fresh air_.

He didn't particularly want to go out looking for her, not because he was feeling lazy, but because he felt it important to allow people their space when they needed it. But still, it seemed like hours since she had first left the room, perhaps he _should_ look for her, even if it was just to make sure she was okay if nothing else. It wasn't like he had anything better to do. He wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon.

Just as he was bracing himself to sit up he heard the sleepy groan of the candy topped medic behind him. Sakura was awake and by the sounds of it, she was getting up. Kakashi knew she would need to go to the bathroom during the night, it was just something Sakura always did and if he was honest with himself he was thankful for that. Maybe she would find Rin outside and decide to share some wisdom with her. Maybe it would do the dark haired medic some good to talk to somebody else for a change. Besides, Kakashi was never very good at emotional talk anyway. He would listen by all means but he was a reserved being when it came to giving advice on such a level, the reason being that a lot of the time his advice was either ignored or wrong altogether.

Feigning sleep, he listened to the soft padding of Sakura's footfalls as she made her way towards the door. He would stay here for now, if Sakura came back empty handed he would head out himself. He had been sent to support her after all.

* * *

The door creaked open to reveal the pretty woodland outside. The air had a chill to it that made the clearing fresh and crisp and Sakura thought nothing of stretching her arms above her head and take a deep lungful of that glorious clean air. It was at that moment she remembered why she was out here at this time of night in the first place. She needed the bathroom, and quite badly.

She took the time to take a good look around her surroundings until she found a rather large shrub to the side of the house that would make a good hiding place. She trotted off in that direction in the hopes that she could empty her bladder without something biting her ass or getting caught by any passersby.

Emerging from the bush feeling relieved and ready to get back into the warmth of her futon, Sakura traversed back towards the house sweeping a hand through her pink locks as a cool and refreshing breeze rushed past her. That was until a small figure in the distance made her stop in her tracks. A stream ran through the woodland and sitting huddled on the bank was none other than the pretty dark haired medic, Rin.

It was a wonder that Kakashi-sensei had never mentioned her before she returned from her long stint away. She could definitely see what her ex teacher saw in her. She was so beautiful and yet so easy to talk and relate to. Sakura had found herself feeling envious of her beauty and how her simple medical jacket hung from her like a gown. The pink topped kunoichi always felt like a frumpy mess in her hospital get up and yet Rin made it look so stylish, the stethoscope she wore around her neck even looked like a piece of jewellery. Trust one of the biggest perverts in Konoha to fall for someone who was so effortlessly gorgeous.

It had to be her that had changed him so much in the past few weeks. Kakashi-sensei was different than he used to be. The change was subtle but still noticeable on all accounts; even Sasuke-kun had mentioned it a time or two and both of them knew it was all down to this new woman that had walked into their lives.

Kakashi-sensei worshipped her, any idiot could see that. The way he looked at her was Sakura's first indication that he wanted to be more than just her friend even despite his insistance that they were just that. His eye would linger on her lips when he looked at her and he blinked painfully slowly, almost like he feared he would miss something if the action was any quicker. It was something she had never seen in him before but he showed it so willingly when Rin was around. If anything it was insanely cute to witness, not that she would even dare tell Kakashi-sensei that she had been studying his mannerisms towards Rin this closely.

Other differences Sakura could see in him was his attention span. Kakashi got bored pretty easily, especially if someone was trying to talk to him. His interest in tiny little things was a lot sharper recently and he had a lot more to say for himself other than the usual grunts and shrugs she would usually get from him in response. And he laughed a lot more, a different laugh that was higher in pitch and more... happy than sarcastic. He was still as aloof and away with the fairies as he ever was and he still read those dirty books but he was changing, in a nice way.

But still, what was Rin-sensei doing just sitting out here in the middle of the night on her own?

Sakura took it upon herself to find out; perhaps she was worried about going back to the village she had not long returned from. It was understandable to a degree judging by what she had told them all about the infection earlier. Maybe something horrible happened while she was there or maybe she just didn't like the place as a whole, Sakura had been to many villages and cities she didn't much care for.

Carefully she trod towards the older medic in the hopes that she wouldn't startle her, she looked to be in a world of her own.

"Hi, can I join you?" Sakura chirped happily her hopes of not scaring the poor woman backfiring instantly as Rin jumped a little and whirled her head around to look at the culprit that had disturbed her daydream.

"Oh, hello, Sakura," Rin responded somewhat glumly before patting the grass next to her inviting her new guest to seat herself. Sakura did just that and plopped herself next to her on the most ground.

They both sat there for a while simply admiring the view, Yamato sure had picked a nice spot to set up the house. Pretty colourful trees lined the farther bank of the stream that trickled delicately down its cut out path. The sound of the water splashing against rocks and soil was so soothing, maybe the serenity she could feel was why Rin chose to be here.

She heard the woman sat next to her sigh deeply which prompted Sakura to speak. "Rin-sensei, is everything okay?" was all she asked. She was rewarded with a frown and a sideways glance.

"Sakura, why do you call me that?" she asked softly.

"Call you what?"

"Sensei... I barely even know you."

Sakura wasn't sure if she should be offended by the remark but surmised that the question was purely out of curiosity as opposed to downright rudeness. It didn't seem in Rin's nature to be callous in any form.

Eventually the young girl shrugged before she answered, "I dunno. I really like you. Call it a sign of respect. I won't call you sensei if you don't like it though."

To that Rin raised her head suddenly and waved a hand at her, her eyes were comically wide as she shook her head a little. "No, no, no, it's not that I don't like it it's just... I've never been called sensei before. It's kinda nice actually," she replied coyly, hunching her shoulders a little that displayed that sweet shyness she had. It was a trait of hers that Sakura found incredibly endearing and it made her like her that little bit more.

The young kunoichi smiled at her as her eye caught something shiny and pretty in Rin's hand. It was one of those bead threads Kakashi-sensei had when they were on their last mission together.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei had one of those, he nearly lost it," she stated as she pointed towards the pretty beads.

Rin lifted her hand and gazed at the thread of stones absently while stroking one of the beads with her thumb. "Yeah, I gave it to him. I made it," she answered matter-of-factly.

"It's really pretty, may I see it?" Sakura asked boldly holding out her hand feeling confident that Rin would pass them to her which she did quite happily.

"You can keep it if you like it so much. I have plenty of those beads at home," the dark haired kunoichi said cheerfully, seeming more than happy that Sakura had taken a liking to her creation.

"Oh wow! Thank you!"

The silence returned to the stream bank as Sakura played the pretty pebbles in her hand recalling the brief conversation she'd had with Kakashi the night she had discovered the beads. It was one of the times that Sakura had seen the change in him. He used to be so difficult to read, frustratingly so, but that night he had willingly dropped his guard over the subject despite him trying to split the hairs in the words Sakura had tried to say.

"Kakashi adores you, you know," she said softly lifting her eyes towards her dark haired team mate.

Rin didn't answer; she just sat there wide eyed staring at the water as a fierce blush bled onto her face.

"Don't tell me you didn't know!" Sakura almost squealed.

"No... no... I know he does. It's just... I guess I didn't expect to hear that from someone else..." the pretty woman stuttered with a coy giggle as she tucked stray strands of glossy dark hair behind her ear.

"Well, I can see you're a bit nervous about going back to that village. Kakashi-sensei wouldn't let anything happen to you. You know that though, right?"

"Yeah... I know."

"Come back inside then, we've got a huge day ahead of us tomorrow. The sooner we get there the sooner we can all go home, right?" Sakura jumped to her feet as she spoke and offered a supporting hand out to Rin hoping that she would take her sentiment to heart and go back to the house with her.

She looked at her hand solemnly at first before she raised her own and grasped it firmly using the purchase to drag herself to her feet.

"You know, for someone who's meant to be a bit of a spitfire, you sure talk a lot of sense," Rin commented casually yet with the hint of a warming smile pursed on her lips.

Sakura smiled back, she knew she was temperamental at times, hence the _'spitfire'_ remark, but she also knew she could talk to people if she felt she needed to. She took the comment as a complement anyway and found herself smiling back.

"I'm only telling you what you already know. We've all been where you are. It's not nice but I guess you just have to get on with it. As ninja what other choice do we have?"

"I feel really silly now," Rin responded with another one of those shy giggles, lowering her head to the ground as they began to walk together back to the house, both of them bare foot feeling the icy crunch of the grass beneath them.

"There's no need to feel silly. Just remember that you're in safe hands. We're not just your team, Rin-sensei, we're your friends too."

* * *

Safely back at the house, Rin followed Sakura into the expansive bedroom area. Futons lay scattered on the hard wood floor only two of them filled with sleeping bodies.

As the younger medic settled in her own bedroll Rin did the same, gathering up the thin sheets she buried herself in the little bed allowing her head to simply drop onto her makeshift pillow. She lay there for a moment just staring up at the ceiling and relaying her conversation with Sakura in her head. She was right after all, what exactly was she so frightened of? It wasn't going to be the same as last time, she wasn't going to be stuck there beyond her means and the doctors... well... they could kiss her behind for all she cared now. All she had to do was go in collect the body and go home. That was it, there would be no Doctor breathing down her neck, no bodies to examine for clues. Hell she was starting to feel better about this already.

That was until she felt something jab her shoulder. She shifted her sights in that direction and saw Kakashi looking at her. He was half asleep by the look of his heavier than usual eye, she must have woken him up when she stepped over him to get to her futon. Despite his sleepy disposition he still managed to uncurl the hand he had just used to poke her with and offer it to her.

Rin hesitated if only for a second before she allowed her own hand to emerge from her covers and grasp it. He squeezed her hand so gently before he snuggled his head back into the crook of his supporting arm and close his eye again with a soft sigh. It was seconds before he fell back to sleep but he still held on to her hand, his fingers tightening ever so slightly as she adjusted herself to face him completely.

She felt a warm smile come to her lips, knowing what he wanted to say but not having the brain power to do so. Everything was going to be alright and she felt herself drifting into sleep still holding his hand.

* * *

The trip into Lightening country had taken less than half the time than Rin said it would, only having one more overnight stay at an inn in a sleepy little village mere miles from here Kakashi was quite impressed with the amount of time the team made.

It was agreed amongst them that they would make the trip in as less time as humanly possible, simply to get the task at hand over and done with. They all had lives to get back to and Kakashi wanted to get back to Konoha as quickly as he could, even if that was to just rekindle the moment he and Rin had left behind in her apartment.

Dropping from the trees the small group entered a clearing, a dirt path carved into the centre that led to a wooded arch in the near distance. The fencing on either side of the arch housed their destination; they had made it to Machenich.

From the outside it looked just like any other small village, surrounded by wooden struts to form the border people coming and going from the gates, possibly traders going out to the rural markets, small buildings lining gravelled paths. It seemed nice enough to Kakashi anyway, Rin must have her reasons for hating the place so much.

He turned towards the other members of the team who were still brushing the dust from the impact from themselves.

"So what's the plan when we get in there?" he drawled, cocking his leg to one side and directing his attention to Rin who seemed a lot more composed than he imagined she would be.

"There's a hotel on the main street called Sunrise Valley. I stayed there myself, it's quite a nice place so I suggest we make bookings there first. After that we need to report to the clinic for the inoculation. I won't need it because I had one two years ago but you three will need to have the jab," she reeled, still calm and in total control of herself. He couldn't help it, but Kakashi felt himself smile at her behind the mask feeling quite proud of her for keeping her head straight. Whatever Sakura had said to her the other night, it must have done the trick.

"Rin-san, how long do we have to wait for the injection to work before we can enter the hospital?" Tenzou questioned seeming oddly interested in this piece of information. Though time was an important factor here it wasn't like him to question such things... or maybe the copy nin was looking too far into it, he wasn't sure.

"We have to wait twenty four hours before we can go into the hospital. I could go in there myself before that but that will still put you guys at risk so it's for the best that we all wait the twenty four hour period. But after we've collected Satoshi-san's body that's it. Job done." Rin slapped each thigh with her hands to punctuate the end of her statement with a grin that Kakashi wasn't so sure was even real. Either way she had kept it together for this long, there should be no reason now why she should lose it again.

"So, lets get in there and get this ball rolling," Sakura pipped as she tugged on Tenzou's arm forcing him to follow.

Cramming both hands into his pockets Kakashi did the same and followed the other two up the dirt path, until he realised that Rin was still standing in the exact same spot as before. He looked over his shoulder at her and sensed the two ahead of him stop and look back themselves.

"Are you coming, Rin?" Kakashi asked softly watching her eyes flit over the wooded entrance to the place she had spent the last decade.

"Yeah... just... just give me a minute okay?" she quivered irritably as she started to ply the fabric of her white tunic in her hands. She was still nervous about going back and the pride Kakashi had felt for her earlier quickly turned to pity.

He glanced at the others who were still standing waiting for Rin to make a move, something Kakashi wasn't sure she would do at all. He waved a hand at both of them, signalling that he and Rin would catch them up. The last thing he felt she needed was an audience.

Tenzou and Sakura turned on their heel at that point and continued towards the small town while Kakashi focused his attention back to Rin who was now staring with a keen interest at the dirt at her feet.

He navigated his way over to her just as she glanced up at him shamefully and winced before she spoke. "Sorry..."

Kakashi raised a hand at her before shoving it back in his pants pocket. "Take all the time you need," he drawled.

She shook her head and blew out a sigh. She was struggling with an inner demon that wouldn't let her feet move. Kakashi had been there, he understood. Rin wanted to take that step she just wasn't sure if she could.

"I'm just... I don't feel ready for this. I'm not... I'm not ready," she murmured lowering her sights back to the ground.

"Not ready for what, Rin?" Kakashi mused.

"I'm going back into Machenich to identify the body of my friend..." she trailed off and shook her head again before she continued "... I don't know if I'm ready to see him... not yet."

The copy nin shifted his weight from one foot to another triggering Rin's interest in his movements while he thought about what she'd just said and how he should respond.

"Well, when I've gone to war, I've been prepared to fight for my life and my comrades. I know the possibilities of what could happen but that doesn't mean that I'm ready to die."

Kakashi watched her nod her head but he wasn't convinced that she completely understood what he was saying.

Eventually he offered a hand to her to which she dropped her eyes as he spoke again. "Trust me when I say that it's going to be alright. It's not the same as last time. You won't be here forever."

"I don't need you to hold my hand, Kakashi..." she grumbled, obviously misreading the signal of him offering his hand to her.

"No you don't. But I'm here to guide and support you. That's all I'm trying to do, I'm not patronising you, Rin," he assured her to be greeted with those watery dark eyes of hers.

"It's okay to be afraid, Rin. But don't think you have to do this alone, because you don't." He meant every word of it. He knew this was going to be hard for her and it seemed that Naruto had thought the same. He had no idea what had happened here, or why she was so reluctant to step foot in Machenich again and he didn't think he would ever ask her. If she wanted to tell him one day then he would listen but right now she just needed a little push in the right direction and by the way she grasped his hand firmly in her own his persistence with her had paid off.

The smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth was to difficult to resist as he manoeuvred himself beside her giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Shall we?" he asked offering his free hand towards the large wooded archway.

He saw her smile before she turned towards him and gave him a brisk nod of her head. "Lead the way," she replied seeming more confident in herself now than she had done this entire trip.


	13. Diversions

Hi hi, again! I made this chappy extra long because I know the last one was kinda short. Enjoy your bonus pack! ~ Saph x

* * *

Disclaimer: Naruto aint mine.

Crossing Rubicon's

Diversions.

oOo

Stepping over the threshold of the little town was not nearly as heartbreaking as Rin first thought it would be but this fact did little to quell the unpleasant flutter in her stomach. She found herself eyeing over every building as she passed it with a paranoid curiosity, what she wouldn't give to be back in Konoha right now. She didn't want to be here, she hated this place.

The town itself was a quaint little village with breathtaking views and pretty little shops filled to the rafters with homemade trinkets and treats that would satisfy any craving. It was an ideal place to stop by for any traveller wanting to stock up on supplies or merely drink in their surroundings, maybe even buy a sweet little gift for their special someone.

When Rin had first arrived it looked so bright, shiny and exciting but as the years tore on so did that bleak greyness that warped her perception of this small town. She had hoped never to set foot in it again.

One of the many reasons Rin dislike Machenich was due to the fact that shinobi weren't very highly thought of here and the occupants of the town made no secret of it. She, like many others had been shunned by the locals and barred from many of the little shops and bars in the town for nothing more than being a ninja. It had taken her many years to coax her way in to some of these places mainly with a sweet little plea and a fluttering of eyelashes. But even then she was watched closely by the shop keepers and automatically branded a thief despite the fact that she hadn't stolen a thing.

It didn't matter that the shinobi sent here were sent to help, they were hated by the majority which made each day harder than it needed to be but she supposed that these villagers had their reasons.

The last major shinobi war had all but crushed the entire area making many homeless and killing tens of thousands. Many of the people that lived here were orphans of war, their parents killed by ninja for simply being in the way and forcing those that remained to merely pick up the pieces and carry on.

It wasn't just Machenich that was affected, all surrounding towns had felt the fallout of the war and most of the villagers honed a great resentment towards shinobi kind ever since. Not that anyone could blame them. Ninja brought blood, chaos and ruin with them and as far as these people could see they were the enemy no matter which side they were fighting for.

It made Rin hate her title when she thought about it long enough, but she was a soldier built for protecting the land from which she hailed. Both her parents had been ninja which meant she had no other path to choose. She assumed Kakashi had been in the same boat as were many of the ninja she knew back in Konoha. It wasn't a choice for them, the life was chosen _for_ them by a higher power that no will or authority could oppose.

Kakashi had long since released her hand and they walked side by side as they entered the bright town centre. The streets were the same as how she had left them, and a few people she recognised though didn't know personally still gave her that courteous nod as they passed her by like she had never left, but not without scrutinising the copy nin in obvious distaste. He was a stranger here and he was quite obviously a shinobi given his attire so Rin hadn't expected any less from the general populace. Thankfully it seemed he was oblivious to it, either that or he simply didn't care. Knowing him it was more likely to be the latter.

Though the sun shone with a glorious brilliance that heated the skin of her face there was a chill in the air that suggested the night wouldn't be as pleasant. Not that it was anything to rely on by any stretch of the imagination.

That was another thing Rin really disliked about this part of the world; you could never plan anything because the weather was so unpredictable. One minute the sun was beating down on the colourful footpath, the next the sky was as black as soot and the path had become a mini river with the rain pelting down like a monsoon. The weather was something she could never get used to – she hated it here.

The apprehension she'd felt since leaving Konoha's wooden gates was still bubbling away in her stomach almost to the point of making her feel physically sick. Habitually she raised a hand and twisted her fingers into the fabric of her tunic as if this would ease the uncomfortable pangs of fear as they squirmed around her insides. It didn't. Why couldn't she just shrug it off like any normal person? But it was moments like this that made her realise that she was anything but _normal. _

It made her wonder how she had gotten this far in this life as a ninja. Under any normal circumstances she would have been written off as a lost cause, but somehow she got through each day with a hope, a prayer and the odd tumble here and there. It wasn't the most gracious way to be, stumbling through life as she did... at least that's what_ she_ thought.

Kakashi was the one that surprised her the most. Instead of scolding her for being such a wimp (something he was prone to doing a lot in his youth) he merely offered her mild encouragements and that sweet fond smile he seemed to share only with her, the one that turned her legs to jelly and made her heart jump into her mouth. It dawned on her then as she dared a glimpse at her new (and old) team mate, that he was what fuelled her strength.

He was the fire in her furnace, constantly burning his infectious energy inside her, forcing her continue, to be braver than she actually felt. Were it not for him she would be a dribbling mess of tears at the town entrance not daring to take a step closer. But he _was_ there - as he always was recently - to guide her in the right direction, to coax her into doing things she wouldn't normally do on her own because her fear dictated how her body and mind functioned.

Maybe one day she wouldn't give in to her apprehensions quite so easily, but she felt she needn't worry about that for now because the man she loved so badly had finally made himself available to her in more ways than she had dared ever dream. He fed her new found confidence although she wasn't sure if he was aware of it.

She dropped her eyes back to the path hoping the action would be enough to stop the ugly flush she could feel threatening to erupt on her face. Her eyes weren't trained on anything in particular while she continued to pull restlessly at her clothes, be that unconsciously. The nerves were still fraying and she began to dread not only seeing the body of her dead friend, but another man that had gone out of his way to make her working life a complete misery for the past decade .

Doctor Nashi Kenshin; the name itself made her stomach twist painfully as she recalled his image in her mind.

He was a horrible, bitter, withered little man. Rin loathed him with a passion, as had many other kunoichi unfortunate enough to be placed on his team of medics and not without good reason. She wasn't certain if he had a wife, she had never been interested enough to ask, but if he did her heart went out to the woman. If he was anything like he was at work at home then he must be a nightmare to live with.

Ultimately he was a brilliant doctor with a knack for instantaneous diagnosis without so much as any physical contact with a patient, but his bedside manner was horrendous and he honed a particular dislike for females, especially females who either rivalled or outranked his position. It seemed such women threatened his masculinity and the way he would cope with that was to drive these women to tears if he could.

As a Jounin, Rin's rank was classed as equal to his despite him being one of the head doctors at Machenich hospital. He didn't like it and he had taken an instant dislike to her when she received the rank through letter after only the first couple of months on the mission. Not that he had been particularly pleasant before then.

She had lost count of the times Kenshin had lost his temper with her, calling her horrible names like _"bitch"_ or _"whore"_ and throwing things at her in his office when she couldn't give him the answers he wanted to hear. She wasn't the only one he targeted and she was too afraid at the time to tell anyone of a higher authority about it through the fear that no one would believe her. He was highly respected in the town, not just the hospital and trying to squander his _"good name"_ in a place that hated people like her was just asking for trouble. So she suffered through it.

Satoshi-san had told her more than once not to let his awful attitude get to her, to just let it roll of her back, but that was easier said than done when you had to spend more than seventy hours a week with the man and she wondered if Yumi-chan was still practicing under his rule.

Rin felt herself slow as she thought of Satoshi-san, dear Satoshi-san. She felt the sorrow heave in her chest at the thought that she would never see him again, not living anyway. She wasn't looking forward to her visit to the morgue and she certainly wasn't looking forward to seeing her dead team leader lying there on his cold bed of steel. It seemed so unfair that a man who had worked tooth and nail to develop a treatment for these people should die of the very thing he had fought so hard to cure. It was so unfair...

She had no idea how she was going to handle herself towards the end of this mission, and she hoped Kakashi didn't think her too much of a fool if she was to break at some point. She would try her upmost to stay strong for her own sake but death was something she had never handled well ... not since Obito...

But it _had_ to be her that collected Satoshi-san's remains, not only as the one that had prescribed his medication and cared for him before she left, not only as the last remaining member of his team, but as his friend. She owed him at least this much for all he had done for her over the past decade. She was just so sorry that she couldn't speak to him, just one last time.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes against the chilly breeze just to gain back a little bit of focus. _I'm so not ready for this – _she thought miserably.

A slender yet heavy hand touched on her shoulder at that point, causing her to jump in her step and glance up at the culprit responsible with frightened eyes to see Kakashi looking lazily back down at her.

"Alright?" was all he said, his voice soft yet strong which sent that familiar flutter to shimmy around in her tummy. It was a far more pleasant feeling than the dull throbbing ache she had moments ago but even then she tried to swallow the lump that had mysteriously sprouted in her throat the moment she heard Kakashi's voice. Even now, after all they'd been through up until this point, he still had that effect on her...

"Yeah, sure. I'm okay," she lied eventually with what she thought was a happy, faked but believable smile, though it seemed by the slight narrowing of his lone dark eye that Kakashi wasn't at all convinced. He didn't question her about it, something she was quite glad of, but he sighed irritably as he crammed his hand back into his pocket.

It wasn't long until they caught up with the other two members of the little team who were both stood outside a café and eyeing the cakes and pastries that lined the windowsill. Rin instantly forgot about her rapidly fraying nerves and took to admiring the mouth watering selection staring back at her; she swore she could hear the cakes begging to be eaten.

If there was one thing Rin could not resist, it was sweets. If she wasn't so concerned with keeping her trim figure she felt she could happily gorge herself on candies, cookies and cakes until she was no longer able to stand up under her own weight. The thought was quite frightening, but her sweet tooth was a difficult demon to ignore, especially in times of stress. Chocolate had saved her sanity on more than one occasion.

She had once thought it a shame that Kakashi wasn't all that fond of sweet foods, but she found it to be a blessing now. If she would be entering a serious relationship with him (she sure hoped so) then at least she didn't have to share her chocolates with him. Sharing chocolate was a crime all in itself no matter who it was with or how much you had.

"Hime-sama makes the best cakes and cookies. We should stop by here when we've been for the jab, I could really go for something sugary and I'm gasping for a nice cup of coffee," Rin chirped gleefully as she stepped up close to Yamato whom had been acting quite strangely since their last stop over. She was rewarded with one of his shifty sideways glances before he stepped back and away from the window.

He was purposely trying to avoid her knowing she was onto him and Rin was quite enjoying watching him squirm. She didn't know him terribly well but well enough now to able to play with him for a while. It was all in good fun, for her at least but she prayed for just one moment to get Sakura on her own and actually ask her what the deal was.

Sakura was a nice, open girl, even in spite of the rumours she'd heard about her vile temper, and she doubted she would try to lie about what Rin had been witnessing over the past few days, but the opportunity to talk to her privately without the boys around just hadn't cropped up.

She had kept it all to herself for now but she was quite sure something was going on between the young medic and the wood user. His actions were subtle but it was the little things she picked up on, like his need to always travel with Sakura as opposed to either her or Kakashi, and he seemed to avoid any kind of contact with the latter. When Kakashi addressed him Yamato was quite short with his answers, he was never nasty with his words, just unresponsive. It may have been to her that this was just the way he was, but he spoke to Sakura so differently much more calmly and smoother which made her think otherwise. It was weird considering how long he and Kakashi had known each other. She knew their relationship stemmed back years, that and she was aware that Kakashi was actually quite fond of him.

Sakura was acting equally strange, seeing as Rin had first assumed that her and Sasuke were actually an item when she had first met them. She didn't quite know why she had assumed this as fact, perhaps because of how close they seemed. She surmised now that it was just her being naive as usual. There was enough evidence to suggest that the medic and the Uchiha were indeed _not_ in a relationship but Rin simply hadn't seen that far into it at the time.

Sakura was so bright and vibrant, not only in colour but in personality and he was ... well ... kind of dull in comparison. He seemed a bit distant most of the time and his facial expression rarely distorted from that glum disinterested scowl. It was a crying shame really; Sasuke would be a very handsome young man if he just cracked a smile once in a while. He certainly wouldn't have a problem attracting the ladies that was for sure.

It was the little coy giggles Sakura gave to the older man, and that nervous flitting of her pretty green eyes whenever they came into contact that had given the pretty medic away this time. Well, Rin had news for both of them, she knew what was going on, and her feminine curiosity was not going to let this matter lie.

Rin had found herself wishing - during their last stop over - that they would just fuck on the table they ate at and get it over with. It was so infuriatingly frustrating to watch the pair try and flirt with each other while trying to keep a lid on it at the same time.

She desperately wanted to tell Kakashi about it just to get it off her chest, and almost had done on several occasions but something inside her told her that informing him of her suspicions wouldn't be the wisest choice to make. Not yet anyway. Hell, he had probably already spotted the signs if _she_ had but again, a source in her gut told her he was oblivious to the whole thing.

"So where's the hotel?" Yamato questioned a little too quickly which seemed to even catch Kakashi off guard as he turned to look at his old friend with a comical arch to his brow.

"You're quite eager today, Yamato, what's the rush?" he commented casually shifting his weight onto one foot.

"Heh, I just want to get things organised so I can sit down, Senpai. My feet are killing me," Yamato responded his strange eyes pinched closed as he rubbed the back of his head.

Kakashi merely shrugged at him and turned his attention to the sky instead.

"It's across the road, if we book now the rooms should be ready in a couple of hours which will give us time to get the inoculation out of the way and then we can relax for a bit," Rin replied turning away from the cafe and pointing towards the familiar pastel yellow building on the far side of the street which enticed the others to automatically turn on their heels and begin to wander somewhat lazily towards it.

"How many rooms are we budgeted for, Rin-sensei?" came Sakura's cynical voice much closer to her ear than Rin had originally thought.

"Oh, we have enough Ryo for two rooms. So, me and you will take one and Kakashi and Yamato can have the other one," she replied with that same sly smile as she watched a flash of disappointment stream across Sakura's bright green eyes much to Rin's delight.

It was sick, in a way, to make them suffer like this but both Sakura and Yamato needed to learn a thing or two about keeping secrets from her.

The ability to read people so well wasn't something she learned during her years as a kunoichi, it was something she had inherited from her mother; it was just a _gift_ that she liked to use to her advantage when she saw fit. It wasn't her fault she was so good at it, hell, it was one of the _only_ things she felt she actually _was_ good at.

But she wouldn't let it carry on for too long. It wasn't really her style to try and worm her way into other people's business, but their actions were so funny and curious Rin simply could not help herself from digging that little bit further. Their relationship had piqued her interest and she was simply _dying_ to know more about it.

Kakashi turned around at that point, fixing Rin with a hurt glint to his eye as he proceeded to walk backwards towards the hotel. "You're making me sleep with _him_?" he whined pathetically while jabbing a thumb in Yamato's general direction.

"Hey, what's so bad about sharing a room with me, Senpai? We've done it before and I don't think I snore or anything..." the dark haired of the two men replied sounding a bit hurt himself which only served to make him seem even more adorable than he already was. Needless to say that Rin was actually warming to Yamato a lot quicker than she anticipated.

Kakashi switched his gaze back to him, his eye now blank and unreadable. "No offence, but the last time we shared a hotel room we also shared a bed and you get a bit grabby in your sleep." Kakashi finished with a demonstration of his hands making a squeezing motion like he was caressing a pair of large breasts.

"I do not!" Yamato retorted almost angrily just as the two girls behind began to giggle at the thought of him trying to fondle his superior in his sleep.

"So it wasn't you who was grabbing my ass and trying to spoon with me all night then?"

"What?"

"I must have kicked you at least five times that night. I hardly got any sleep at all."

"Senpai!"

"Why on earth were you two sleeping in the same bed?" Rin chortled, the imagery of Yamato spooning a rather distraught Kakashi stirring a heat in the pit of her belly she was sure shouldn't be there but she made no effort to try and stop it in its tracks. Even if the image was slightly arousing it was more amusing than anything else.

"Because Kakashi-senpai is cheap ... that's why," Yamato grumbled miserably turning back to the path with a defeated slump to his shoulders. The comment did nothing but make the copy nin, who was still walking backwards, chuckle at him.

"You're making it up, aren't you, Sensei," Sakura snorted obviously finding it next to impossible to hide her amusement much to poor Yamato's horror as he gawped around at her with obvious pain drawn all over him.

"Nope, I felt so violated," Kakashi whimpered as he flailed an arm dramatically over his face and turned back to face the direction he was travelling.

"You're such a drama queen, Kakashi," Rin replied between her hitches for breath feeling Sakura wrap an arm around hers, both of them unsuccessfully trying to hide their giggles as they all but fell about each other like the laughter had caused them to forget how their legs worked.

Kakashi swung an arm around Yamato's neck, obviously in a bid to let the poor guy know that he was only joking, before Yamato pushed himself away and playfully punched the copy nin in the shoulder. The action clearly said _"Not cool bro, but I forgive you..."_

The sight forced the smile already on Rin's lips to hitch upwards that little bit more. It was more than clear that the two boys in front were closer than she originally thought they were. She knew they had known each other for a long time and they had worked in very close proximity when they were both affiliated with ANBU. The trip here had yielded her such fruits of information. But she had no idea of the amount of trust Kakashi seemed to give him. He wasn't like that with everyone, Kakashi gave out his affection very sparingly, and she doubted that Yamato knew how privileged he was to have gained that trust.

* * *

With the hotel all booked and paid for, for the next two days, it was time to get the inoculation that three of the party needed to complete the mission.

The jab was mandatory if the intention was to visit the hospital. The _Rot_ – as the infection was locally named due to the horrific sores that appeared on the surface of the skin in most victims – was well under control, had been for at least three years, and had been segregated within two wards of the hospital itself before Rin had left. She could only assume that the arrangement hadn't changed in such a short space of time. However, that didn't mean that there wasn't a risk. So everyone who passed through took a little time out of their schedules to have the inoculation whether they intended to go inside the hospital or not, just to be on the safe side.

No appointment was needed; all the nurse asked for at the waiting desk in the makeshift foyer of the tent like clinic was a name and if the person in question had any allergies, medical conditions, if they used any particular medicines, so on and so forth.

Team Kakashi gave the nurse the information she needed before all four of them were asked to take a seat. Rin went along simply because she had nothing better to do and no better place to be. She would rather sit in the little clinic with her friends than wait somewhere else on her own bored out of her skull. They wouldn't be here all that long anyway; the tent wasn't busy with only a handful of people waiting for their turn. More than likely the majority of these people were simply passing through.

The little clinic was a lot smaller than she remembered. But then again it had been a couple of years since she'd had to come in here. People popped in, got jabbed and were sent on their way again within a matter of minutes so there was no real reason to go over budget when constructing the fabric building. Hopefully the disease would be eradicated and the clinic could be torn down sometime in the near future. One could only hope.

The interior was nice enough, pristine and white in colour, with a pretty fish tank teaming with tiny shimmering tetra fish on the far side of the waiting area. Rin thought briefly about the last time the fish were fed what with most of them pecking around at the base of the tank.

Rin had always wanted a pet fish as a child, just a simple goldfish in a little bowl with brightly coloured pebbles at the base and maybe a treasure chest for decoration to look after and watch as it swam around and popped its mouth open and closed, like fish did. She would've named it Fluffy, just to be ironic in her own sad little way.

But her father never allowed it saying a fish _"was not a useful animal for a shinobi." _It wasn't like she had any plans to try and train the damn thing and send it into battle - simply watching it gasping for breath on the ground, the enemy getting all confused as she stood there barking orders at it and getting annoyed because she was technically being ignored. She just wanted to look at it mostly. But whatever Dad said was law and Rin never got her little goldfish in its little bowl.

At that moment she heard muffled voices suddenly grow louder as a young woman stepped out from behind the screen and left the clinic. The nurse, a woman she didn't recognise - presumably she was new to the hospital - followed soon after holding a clipboard in both hands.

"Haruno Sakura," she called flatly into the room just as the candy topped medic lifted herself from her seat and traversed carefully over to the screen.

"It should be Yamato next and then you," Rin muttered nudging Kakashi with her arm to signify she was talking to him.

"Yeah… goodie," he quipped with what could only have been a nervous twitch of his head.

She frowned at his reaction and found herself observing him a little closer.

His attention was squared directly at the white screen at the far end of the room so she couldn't see his face lest she craned her entire body around his. His shoulders were hunched awkwardly though not enough to be noticed by anyone simply passing but still he was sitting awkwardly which was unusual for him.

She noticed then that his arms were shaking, only ever so slightly but shaking none the less which drew her eyes down to his hands. His fingers were wrapped so tightly around the arms of the metal chair that his middle knuckles on each finger were white over, he was gripping the steel like his life depended on it. Something wasn't right.

"Are you alright?" she whispered to him sitting herself up on the chair so her mouth was level with his ear.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm hot though, are you hot? … Is it hot in here? I can't breathe, I'm ... I'm going outside for a bit," he stuttered lurching from his seat and stalking out of the waiting room. His movements were so sudden and brisk Rin didn't even have the time to react to it. Before she had gathered enough of her bearings to call after him he was already gone.

It wasn't hot in the waiting area of the tiny clinic, if anything it was quite cold but she couldn't deny that odd sheen of perspiration she had spied on his skin as he removed himself from his chair.

She turned to look at Yamato who was staring her way looking just as perplexed as she felt. Kakashi was acting really weird, had done since they had come into the clinic. He was edgy and finding it increasingly difficult to sit still which wasn't like him at all, she simply hadn't took much notice of him until he stiffened up like a board when Sakura's name was called. Something was bothering him and he was struggling to keep a lid on it, which again, went against his character in every way possible.

Without saying another word, knowing that Yamato had already seen what had just happened and not really wanting to converse with him about it, Rin rose from her seat and navigated her way back outside.

She found Kakashi instantly, just sitting on a stone wall shaded by a large decorative tree in the near distance reading that orange book of his and looking like nothing had happened at all.

Carefully minding her feet, she stepped over to him, pulling both arms around her midriff as she went to shield her against the chill that was gradually getting cooler. It was going to be a cold night tonight.

She sat herself next to him cautiously, not bothering to turn to face him, already aware of why he was acting so strangely and kicking herself for not noticing the very same signs years before. Maybe she could have helped him a little back then... she would never know now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly, hitching herself closer forcing the slight gap between them to close completely.

"No, not really," he replied dully snapping his read shut and resting the hand that held it on his lap. He focused his attention on the ground absently tapping the heels of his feet against the dusty stones he sat on.

"It might help, you know," she spoke softly still this time turning to face him just a little. She didn't want to force him into opening up and if he continued to tread around the matter then she would let it lie, but she knew better than most that a problem like this could be controlled, but it was rare one could do it alone.

Kakashi glanced up at her momentarily before he dropped his gaze back to the street. He was embarrassed, she could see that as clear as day even with the mask and the looming shadow of the tree behind them shielding the majority of his face. But he needn't be, not around her. The only thing she wanted from him was to admit there was a problem. Until then she felt there was nothing much else she could do. It would only serve to humiliate him further if she told him she already knew what was wrong.

"You'll laugh."

"I won't."

"Want to bet on it?"

"No, but I _can_ _promise_ I won't laugh at you."

A moment passed where he didn't do or say anything. He just sat there fascinated by his feet that dangled beneath him. Maybe he was thinking of the best way to describe how he was feeling, maybe he was mustering courage to tell her at all, maybe he wouldn't. Eventually he cleared his throat and adjusted his weight awkwardly on the wall, a movement which he seemed to use to find his words.

"I'm trypanophobic..." his voice was terribly small, like he had forgotten how the air moved around his throat when he tried to speak. But at least he admitted it despite of his reluctance to do so.

"I don't think that's funny, Kakashi," she soothed habitually placing a hand on his knee which caused his attention to flick to that spot while she rubbed random circles in the fabric with her thumb.

Rin had a good inkling that she was one of the only people he had ever admitted his needle phobia to, and as someone who was terribly afraid of spiders she knew how much such a fear could get in the way of a normal day to day life.

Needles and syringes probably weren't something that Kakashi was faced with on a regular basis, but he was bound by law to have yearly screenings at Konoha hospital and sometimes these screenings required him to have routine booster injections to keep his immune system fine tuned. She could only imagine how hard that must be for someone with his type of fear. It wasn't funny and anyone who thought a phobia of this nature was in any way amusing was basically moronic and ignorant at that. There was nothing Rin hated more than ignorance.

He didn't say anything or acknowledge that Rin had responded at all but he was obviously ashamed of himself by the way his head hung low on his shoulders. Rin could understand that. An elite Jounin shinobi, the copy ninja no less, feared in many countries throughout the world and considered a formidable foe with a weapon so powerful he could kill a man with a glance ... was afraid of needles. But everyone had a fear, be that irrational or not, it was just one of those things that made people ... well ... human.

"Can you remember when the phobia started?" she asked, hoping that if he could pinpoint a moment when he had developed this fear so she could at least get him through the next ten seconds it would take to get him inoculated.

He furrowed his brow before he slowly shook his head, still refusing to lift his gaze as he spoke. "Not really. I've had it since I was a kid. Dad used to hate taking me in for jabs because I used to scream the place down..." he chuckled at his own words, but it was likely his feigned amusement was out of shame more than anything else.

He rubbed the back of head awkwardly with his free hand before he flicked his eye towards Rin who offered him a sympathetic smile despite the fact that she knew he was lying. She wouldn't pull him up on it, if he didn't want to tell her then that was up to him no one else.

"The needles themselves don't scare me. It's the thought of it going under my skin..." he shuddered quite visibly "... it's revolting and unnatural."

"Out of curiosity, how is an injection different to say ... I dunno, biting your thumb to summon your ninken or getting nicked by a sharp weapon? Those things are still puncturing your skin." The question was as she stated, for curiosity's sake.

As far as Rin was concerned an injection was no different to having the skin pierced by any other means. Kakashi obviously didn't see it that way and she just wanted to understand how he saw it differently. But she was disappointed with his answer.

"Trust me, it's not the same. I can't explain it, but it's definitely not the same."

"Oh, okay."

"And now I feel stupid," he muttered finally with what could have only been a slight coy grin under that dark mask of his.

"You're not stupid, Kakashi, far from it," she said softly patting his knee one last time before she sat herself back up on the wall.

" Usually a phobia comes from a traumatic event that involves the object of the fear. So I'm guessing that something happened to you, or you witnessed something that involved a syringe or needle and it frightened you. It's not unusual for people suffering with the phobia to forget the source either because more often than not the event that triggers a phobia happen at a very young age. The memory will vanish but the fear remains." she explained almost matter-of-factly.

"I have a phobia too. And seeing as you told me yours I'll tell you mine if you want," she said boldly giving a shrug of her shoulders like talking about it didn't bother her at all. It did, more than anything. Simply thinking about all those horrible legs and those disgusting expressionless eyes made her toes curl. There was absolutely no need for a spider to have so many of the same things, surely not!

Kakashi just looked on expectantly like he knew she would tell him anyway and now was as good time as any to spill the beans.

"I'm terrified of spiders," she quipped rolling her eyes skyward and shrugging her shoulders in a sort of dismissive gesture.

"Spiders?" he repeated. "But spiders are everywhere..."

"Yes, yes, I know that, thank you," she grumbled as she wafted a hand in front of her face to dismiss that part of the conversation. It wasn't like she needed reminding that she was almost constantly surrounded by the little beasts.

"I'm okay with them as long as I can't see them but if I see one I freeze up and I start to panic. It's a horrible feeling like I'm going to die if it touches me and yes, it makes me feel a bit stupid too because I know they can't hurt me ... well ... apart from the big ass poisonous things you find near Earth country. But I don't know why I'm so scared of them, I just am." She hummed a chuckle as he took it in but he didn't laugh. He just looked at her with that warming smile she could see through the shadows cast onto his face. It was sympathetic like the smile she had given him moments ago because he understood what she was saying even if he wasn't scared of spiders like she wasn't afraid of needles.

It was endearing to know that he wasn't amused by what she'd just told him. And she felt herself fall in love with him that little bit more because of it. There was another understanding between them, something else they had in common that brought them a bit closer together even if that one thing was something they both hated about themselves. But it felt nice like she had just drunk a hot cup of sake and the heat was radiating in her belly as that pleasant tingle from the fictional alcohol thrummed in her head making her feel a little giddy.

They regarded each other for a while and Rin thought absently that Kakashi would have missed his slot by now. But that was okay. They may have to wait a bit longer but she hoped after this little chat he would feel a bit better about it ... and not quite as frightened as he was before.

Eventually she decided to move the conversation on.

"There's a lot of ninja with Trypanophobia, you know. Some of those ninja you actually know, not that I'm going to tell you who they are, of course. But you aren't the only one I can promise you that." She wasn't lying either. Genma had been little more than a sniffling mess the last time he had gone to her for one of his screenings many many years ago and she could count a few others. At least Kakashi dealt with his problem a damn sight better than his friends did, there was no report in his medical file of Trypanophobia so (until now at least) he was exceptionally skilled at hiding it.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, us medic nin have our sources. But that's not important. Anyway, the best thing I can suggest you do to try and deal with it is the advice my mother gave during a brisk talk of the birds and the bee's when I was about thirteen years old."

Kakashi cracked a smile then, she couldn't see his mouth but she saw the amusement in his eye, which lifted her own spirits a little, though they weren't really low in the first place.

"Go on," he said with far more interest than she thought he would have.

Rin closed her eyes and leaned back a little on the wall gripping it with her hands to suspend her back so she didn't topple over and lifted her legs so her feet hovered over the ground.

"Just lie back, take a deep breath, relax, and think of Konoha," she breathed contently.

He snorted just before the laugh erupted from his throat, he threw his head forward and slapped his free hand to his mouth to try and stem it and failed horribly in the process. It was clear that he hadn't meant to laugh at her but the reaction had been compulsive by the looks of it. It was the most genuine sound she had ever heard him make and in turn it caused her to laugh too, though she wasn't entirely sure why.

"That's really bad sexual advice," he chuckled "It sounds like your mom didn't like sex very much."

"Hm, knowing my mother then probably not, there wasn't much she _did_ like. But hey, it might work for what you're about to do. You never know. My mom's sex talk might actually help you fight your fear of needles!" she chirped gleefully as she watched him shake his head with another one of his small giggles.

"You have no idea how wrong that sounds, Rin. But for you I'll give _thinking of Konoha_ a try."

* * *

Back in the clinic it was apparent that Kakashi had missed his slot to receive his inoculation. The nurse at the counter didn't seem too pleased but Rin did her best in trying to reason with the young woman who eventually submitted and allowed them both to take their seats again.

The brunette stalked over to her chair in mild annoyance and plopped herself down in her seat roughly, Kakashi did the same but with a little more constraint than her.

He had to admit that he felt a bit better than he did the first time, at least he didn't feel dreadfully sick anymore, but his nerves were still a little sensitive and he was undoubtedly worried about the jab itself. It wasn't like him to worry about things as small and insignificant as this, even he knew that, but this was something he just couldn't help getting anxious over, it wasn't like he could just shrug it off, if only his mind was that simple.

He hadn't wanted to admit his secret phobia to _anyone_ and he had managed to keep it a close guarded secret up until now, but Rin had somehow managed to coerce him into talking, something he was finding she was very good at recently. But she seemed to know what she was talking about and it had a positive effect, so he was grateful for the boost of confidence he felt he needed to get through this next step.

Yamato and Sakura were waiting near the exit of the tent and it seemed they hadn't even noticed him and Rin come back in. He vaguely noticed that Rin was watching them too possibly for the same reason he was, waiting to be acknowledged.

Eventually Sakura turned around and spotted him and Rin before rolling her eyes dramatically and carefully making her way towards them, Yamato not too far behind her.

"Kakashi-sensei, you missed your slot! Where did you guys go?" she asked obviously feeling a little annoyed that they felt they had to wait around for him.

"I needed the bathroom, and then I lost my wallet so Rin was helping me find it," Kakashi deadpanned hoping she didn't see through his lie. He had only been sitting outside, there was every possibility that she had seen him and Rin talking not too far away but even with the quizzical look the younger medic gave him she dropped the subject instantly.

"So how long have you got to wait for the next slot?" Yamato interjected.

"Twenty minutes... it might be longer than that because he missed the first one but we shouldn't be long," Rin replied sounded a little exasperated.

"Why don't you guys have a wander around town, I'll stay with Kakashi and we'll meet up at Hime's tea shop, you know the one with the cakes in the window, in, say, thirty minutes?" Rin suggested, sounding a little more cheerful than she did seconds ago.

Sakura and Yamato glanced at each other then and nodded an agreement between them before turning back to the two that were seated.

"If that's okay with you two," Sakura mused focusing her green eyes on Kakashi as though he would object for some reason.

He lifted his hands defensively before he spoke, "Well, it's my own fault I'm still waiting. So I suppose it's not really fair to expect you to wait for me. Besides, Rin here will keep me company."

"Are you sure...?" Sakura started until Rin interrupted with a shooing wave of her hand.

"We're sure, it's fine! Go, go have fun and we'll see you later," she quipped which more or less sealed the deal between the members of the group.

As the other two left the tent Kakashi turned his attention to the gorgeous woman sat next to him and flashed her a concealed smile. She'd known exactly what she was doing the minute she lied about his appointment being twenty minutes away when in fact he should be the next one to be called up.

She had politely gotten rid of Sakura and Yamato merely so neither of them could ask him any more questions about his whereabouts just now or sit and complain about having to wait far longer than they should have because he was late. He was apprehensive enough about the procedure and even _he_ felt the last thing he needed was to be punished for something he couldn't really control.

"Thank you," he whispered just as she focused her dark brown eyes on him with that a glorious confident smile he didn't think he'd seen since they set off from Konoha not two days ago.

"No problem," she replied in an equally soft voice leaning over her lap to collect a magazine from the table in front of her.

* * *

The seconds dragged by one agonising click at a time, it was unbearable. He would lose his mind at this rate, the beads of sweat were forming on his skin again and that relentless knot had begun twisting around in the pit of his gut gradually getting worse as the second hand on the clock above the reception desk seemed to get slower the longer Kakashi insisted on staring at it.

He'd lied through his teeth outside when Rin asked him if he could recall what had triggered the phobia. He didn't want to tell her for the fear of appearing even more weak and disgraceful than he already did but now he was wishing that he had said something. Maybe she was right; maybe getting it off his chest would have made this easier. But it was too late now, he'd already told the lie and he didn't have the strength to go back on it, not right now anyway.

He remembered the incident like it had happened just seconds ago even though he'd only been five years old at the time. It was something he knew that could happen to anyone, and to others he assumed it wasn't something to get so worked up about. Usually he didn't not until he was faced with the possibility that it could happen all over again.

The nightmares tormented him for weeks after it happened, forcing him to wake up in the middle of the night screaming his head off. He'd lost count of the amount of times his father had lost his patience with him and told him to _'grow up and get over it.'_ Kakashi doubted now that he'd really meant those words; he was simply an exasperated single parent who just didn't know how best to help his son.

He'd had numerous jabs before this particular day and they'd never bothered him one bit, just one tiny prick of the skin and it was done, he'd get a sticker with a funny picture on it and sometimes a lollypop that he never ate and that was the end of it until next time. But the time it came round to having a routine booster injection not so long after his fifth birthday was what made him lose his nerve.

He couldn't recall much of the day itself just that he was sat in a chair that was much too big for him, his feet only just able to dangle over the lip of the seat. He remembered the nurse performing the task, a kindly old woman who had a fragrance about her similar to old clothes stored in a dusty attic. It was weird what he remembered sometimes.

But the one thing that had traumatised him so much that day was when the needle broke from the syringe inside his arm. He remembered looking at it with lazy, uninterested eyes and deciding himself that he would remove it with his own hands only to accidentally push the thin strand of metal deeper into his skin. It was then he had started to panic. The only thing he felt he could do at that point was to scream at the top of his lungs as the broken tip of the needle disappeared out of reach as he desperately clawed at it without success.

Kakashi couldn't really remember what happened after that, just that the needle was extracted safely and there was no extensive physical damage to his arm, but he could still feel that strip of steel sliding under his skin puncturing its way through the muscle of his bicep, a sensation that still made him feel sick to his stomach.

He swallowed hard praying silently to the gods that the nurse behind that screen would hurry the hell up just so he could get it over and done with. He surmised that the quicker he was behind that screen the quicker he could get the hell out of here.

Something touched his hand causing him to turn his attention to Rin who was looking back with that understanding smile she had used on him outside. It worked, the knot in his guts unravelled, if only a little, but he felt himself sit back in his seat as she sat up and leaned towards him.

"Just relax. Ten seconds, that's all it's going to be. Just _relax_," she soothed placing a hand on his forearm and stroking a thumb across his over sensitive skin. The contact however only splayed his nerves further, her touch, meant to be soothing, only grating on him like a steel saw but he didn't have it in him to pull away as that inner voice in his head started talking to him again. It was always the same - patronising and cruel - and the voice was always his own, taunting him in his head and forcing that horrific memory from all those years ago to the front of his mind. It was like he _enjoyed_ torturing himself.

'_It's coming, Kakashi, it's so close and there's nowhere to run! It's going to be one _hell_ of a needle and the same thing's going to happen all over again! You know it right?' _

_Shut up!_

'_There's so many people here, they're all staring at you, waiting for you to break, the nurse is going to look at you like you're a freak! Just like always!'_

_I said, shut up!_

'_Just remember how it felt! That hard slither of steel buried deep in your arm, the more you poked at it the deeper it drove! Remember the pain? The blood? The fear? Remember how you sobbed like a little girl in front of all those people? You're pathetic! Everyone thinks you're pathetic!"_

_PLEASE, JUST SHUT UP!_

He wasn't entirely sure if he had just shouted out loud at that point which made his flesh tighten around him but a weary look around the waiting area confirmed that he was safe. Everyone was going about their business.

An elderly couple sat straight opposite sharing one of the many magazines Rin had helped herself to earlier, a man, smartly dressed, sat with his legs crossed next to them reading a book and there was a young pretty woman with a small boy, presumably her son, crouched in front of the fish tank on the far side. He heard the boy laugh, a piercing noise that shot through his ears like a freshly sharpened knife through a raw piece of steak forcing him to squeeze is eyes shut before focusing on his feet.

Rin was still looking at him, her smile had faded but her hand was still on his arm burning away at the skin beneath it. He wished she'd let go, he wished she'd have gone with the others and just left him here to fester in his own juices. This could not get any more humiliating if he tried.

"Hatake Kakashi," came that flat voice from the screen which did nothing but force the bile into his gullet.

He swallowed it feeling it burn his throat, determined to keep his dignity intact for his own sake. He had gotten through this very same procedure numerous times without incident, without making too much of a fool of himself and he was damned if this would be any different.

'_Just sit back, take a deep breath, _relax, _for the love of the gods,_ relax, _and think of Konoha.' _he chanted to himself in his head. He repeated Rin's words mentally as he stood from his seat and navigated feet that didn't feel like his towards the nurse stood next to the white screen.

His focus was directed at the floor beneath him as he stepped into the closed off area and parked himself in the large white leather chair. He noticed the chair looked more like something one would see at the dentist (another place he didn't particularly like going to but he would rather a man poke around in his mouth than this) and took his time in leaning back and allowing his body to sink into the supple softness made uncomfortably warm by the throngs of people that had passed through here today.

He began to let his eye drift towards the nurse who was preparing herself at a small sink to his left until something hard jabbed him in the arm to his right.

Kakashi snapped his head around to see Rin stood next to him which surprised him a little bit.

"Rin, I'm fine, I don't need you here," he hissed viciously feeling more foolish now than he did when he was sat outside. If she thought he was going to let her hold his hand through this _ten second_ procedure than she had another thing coming.

"Oh, I know you don't but I was just wondering what you wanted to do after this. I mean we'll have about twenty minutes before we have to meet Sakura and Yamato," she chirped happily.

Kakashi's scowl deepened a little, he just wanted to concentrate on not ripping the poor nurse's hand off as she tried to stab him in the arm, not talk about what to do afterwards. He would think about that when his head was a bit clearer.

"Rin..."

"Well, you see there's this bookstore just around the corner and I noticed the last time I was here they had one of those special Icha Icha collectable box set things in stock. I just wondered if you wanted to go see if they still had one because I noticed you didn't have that collection at your apartment."

He felt his heart skip a beat at the mention of Icha Icha. He was certain Rin hated him reading those books (not that he ever let that stop him) but she seemed genuinely interested in visiting this bookstore for that very reason.

"Really? You mean the _Diversions_ set?" he asked hearing the excitement in his own voice.

"Yeah! That one, there's two books, right? Both of them with light blue covers?" she beamed.

'_Ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod'_ his inner voice chanted, that malicious voice from earlier being replaced by that shrill high pitched squeal he heard whenever he knew a new Icha Icha book was due for release.

Icha Icha Diversions was a two part spin off series with a different protagonist than the first set of books but he had heard the stories were just as gripping as the others and just as sexually explicit to boot, which was always a bonus. The set was very limited edition and only a handful of them were ever published so Kakashi had unfortunately missed out on getting his dirty hands on one when they were released. He had scoured every book store he could find ever since trying to find them only to be told by disgruntled shop keepers that he didn't stand a chance in hell.

His mouth began to water at the prospect that he could actually own these books. Actually _hold_ them in his hands and feel the soft supple cover under his fingers.

"I think it was near the back of the shop the last time I saw it, but that was a while ago now. So don't keep your hopes if they don't have it anymore. And ... you're done!" Rin almost cried out the last sentence she spoke ... which made no sense to Kakashi's ears whatsoever.

"What? What have I done?" he asked with a small shake of his head and having no idea what had just gotten into her.

"She means _you're done_. You can go now, sir," the young nurse said flatly.

Kakashi snapped his head back to the nurse before looking down at his left arm. The sleeve had been rolled up past the elbow and a small band-aid was secured to the skin just above the crook of his elbow. He hadn't felt a thing and while Rin had been talking he hadn't even given the nurse and her nasty needles a second thought. That was it... it was over and he had been oblivious to the whole thing. He felt the relief wash over him all of a sudden making his legs feel numb but his head pleasantly light and empty.

Pushing himself from the large chair he rolled down his sleeve and gave the young nurse a courteous bow thanking her for her service before following Rin towards the exit of the tent. He should take Rin to the hospital the next time he was due a screening, just to sit there and babble her soothing nonsense at him.

_Nonsense._

It dawned on him then as he was stepping back out into the sun what Rin had just done.

"How much of what you said in there was actually true?" Kakashi ground out watching her freeze in her tracks and turn herself around to face him with an apologetic upward twitch of her mouth. He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. He didn't need her to explain herself at that point, he already knew the truth but he stood there and waited for her answer anyway.

"Well ... there's a bookstore around the corner..." she muttered coyly pointing sheepishly to her left. She meant: yes there was a bookstore but no limited edition once in a lifetime buy extra special Icha Icha Diversions series inside it.

"You've just broken my heart, Rin," he stated flatly and he half meant what he'd just said.

Rin's features crumpled then as she walked back towards him and tried to place a hand on his chest. He didn't let her make contact however; briskly he folded his arms to block her attempts of touching him and stared down at her ensuring his glare gave her enough information to let her know that he was not impressed at all.

"Oh, Kakashi, don't be like that. I was just trying to help..."

"You should have picked something else to lie about."

"I really didn't think you'd _believe_ me."

"You're a very good actress."

"Kakashi, please."

"..."

"You hate me now, don't you?"

Her last question caught him off guard if only for a split second. She sounded really hurt and she was now staring through him instead of just at him, her eyes heavy and her shoulders slumped. What she'd done wasn't _terrible_, not really; she'd acted on her feet to make sure he was as comfortable as possible and had gained the exact result she had hoped for. Hell, he had no idea how to thank her for making that experience as painless as it was. So now he felt a little guilty for making her believe that her little fib had hurt him far more than was actually true.

Hate was such a strong word and Kakashi could probably say that he didn't really _hate_ anyone. He disliked many people and found others quite irritating but even those emotions didn't even come close to hate. But he was _in love_ with this girl, though it had taken a few weeks now to finally have the guts to allow himself to even think it, how could he possibly _hate_ her?

"Of course I don't _hate_ you," he responded softly. "But I'm disappointed that I can't get those books here now. I guess that's my own fault for being so gullible in the first place. You can be quite good at deception when you put your mind to it, Rin."

He saw the faint hint of a smile on her lips before she replied, "Well, we _were_ tutored by the same man. I guess I'm catching up to you at long last."

He hummed a chuckle at her. Kakashi was good at what he did, very good, considered the best in fact but Rin had her strengths too. She was also a Jounin Elite the exact same rank as him only in a different field. Her abilities complimented his hence why they had always made a brilliant team on their own in the past. Where he failed she would pick up the slack and vice-versa. She had no need to _"catch up"_ because there was nothing to catch up to; she was already at her peak. It was such a shame she just couldn't see it in herself.

"So, does this mean I'm forgiven?" she asked sweetly flashing her teeth with a broad and over confident smile.

"No," he replied courteously just to watch her face rumple with guilt much to his amusement. "But there is a way to make it up to me," he continued smoothly as he forced both hands into his pockets and strolled past her.

Rin sighed as she fell in line with him. "Go on then, tell me how I can _make it up to you_," she grumbled dejectedly, she obviously expected a task that was either so tedious she would be bored to tears, like doing his laundry, or something way out of her depth... possibly sexual which didn't seem like a bad idea at all.

He thought of all the things he could ask her to do, a hand job? A blow job? A quick grope of her boobs? Or maybe just a quick hard slap on her butt. All were quite satisfactory but he dismissed all of them with a mental shudder knowing that given the circumstances of this mission anything even remotely related to sex was probably the furthest thing from her mind. He certainly had no intentions of forcing her into something she felt uncomfortable with.

He hadn't forgotten about the last tender moment they had shared in her apartment and he wasn't likely to forget it any time soon. It was that memory he clung to hoping that they could carry on where they left off when they got back. He guessed he was wishing on a burnt out star, the moment was ruined the second he clapped eyes on the messenger bird at the window. But that didn't mean he couldn't dream. And it certainly didn't mean they couldn't just start again.

It was disappointing that they wouldn't be sharing a room for this trip but Kakashi surmised that this was actually a smart move considering that fiery spark that had started developing between two other members of their team.

Kakashi had known for months that something odd hung in the air whenever Sakura and Tenzou were together. He had never been able to put his finger on what it was so he had chosen to ignore it at the time. Whatever that something was it didn't interfere with training or their dynamics as a working team so the copy nin didn't see a need to question it. It had been a while since he was sent on mission with the pair so he was never given much of a chance to dwell on it anyway, until now that was.

Nothing incriminating had happened between them, nothing that directly proved that there was a relationship brewing between the pair and it wasn't until he found himself comparing their little awkward actions towards each other against his and Rin's relationship that he started to piece it all together. The shifty glances exchanged between them, the way Tenzou touched Sakura's lower back when she stepped in front of him and the way she blushed and giggled quite obviously when he did so.

It was funny to watch, but why keep it a secret for all this time?

Tenzou was a good person and it was clear that he was quite fond of the girl, and Sakura could do a lot worse, hell, she _had_ done a lot worse over the course of time Kakashi had known her. But he still held a reserved feeling of protection towards her. He and Sakura weren't incredibly close in the realms of friendship, they didn't talk about anything other than training all that often but that didn't mean he didn't care deeply for her. She was young and sometimes a little naive which was the only reason Kakashi found himself running to her rescue when she found herself in bouts of trouble.

She was a damn good medic and a passionate fighter with her own unique style, but she was lonely and desperate for someone to love her as much as she could love them. Kakashi could relate to her on that level but not once had he ever spoken to her about it or even broached the subject. There had always been a little resentment at the back of his mind against Sasuke who had hurt the girl on more than one occasion, but it seemed that Sakura was well and truly over him so it didn't matter anymore.

But she was a big girl, she didn't need Kakashi's guidance despite the fact that she had actually asked for it on more than one occasion when it came to certain boyfriends she'd picked up from goodness knows where. Even if he didn't particularly like being bogged down with the problems of her failing love life he found it impossible to turn her away and had guided her the best he could, usually that guidance being _"The guy's a loser, you don't need him, Sakura, and you know it."_

Kakashi would bide his time with this pair, he found he would very much like to know what exactly was going on between them just to be in on the loop, but if they wanted to keep it to themselves for now then he was happy to let them get on with it. It was ultimately none of his business anyway.

Shifting his mind back to the situation at hand after hearing an impatient sigh pass Rin's lips he shifted his eye to focus on her before flitting his eye back to the street.

"Well, I _would_ like to know why you followed me behind the screen instead of letting me face my fear alone. Wouldn't that have been the best way for me to deal with it?" he asked flatly giving her an arch to his brow as spoke. He had to admit when he saw her standing there while sitting in that chair he felt pretty dumb, like he was a child all over again.

"Well, I saw you getting more and more stressed out in your seat and you kept telling yourself to '_shut up'_ after I told you to relax. And I thought you might freak out when you saw the size of the syringes they were using so I got your attention before you had the chance to see it."

Kakashi shuddered at the thought, he didn't even get a glimpse of the syringe and he was glad about that, the fact that Rin had just stated that these syringes were larger than usual turned his stomach inside out until he was able to force the image of it out of his head. Now the ordeal in the clinic was over it was far easier to do so.

"And you've been facing this fear for years, Kakashi. If you haven't gotten over it by now then I don't think you ever will." Her words were harsh, but non-the-less true. Kakashi felt his mouth twitch defensively but declined to answer because she was probably right and he saw no point in trying to argue a point that was already lost.

"I'm sorry I made up that story about the books. I couldn't think of anything else that would grab your attention," she said shamefully.

The chuckle that left him was genuine, the more he thought about the situation the more amusing it seemed. She was just helping, and her method was very effective so he could forgive her for leading him on just that little bit. Even if he did feel like falling to his knees and sobbing the moment he realised she had lied to him about it.

They slowed to a stop as he navigated them both into a small space between two shops. There were people still milling about the area and he wanted his next move to be as private as possible given that they were both outside under the guise of the general public of this small town.

Placing a gloved hand on either side of her head Rin looked up at him with watery eyes just as he leaned in and kissed her softly on the mouth, the warmth of her supple lips bleeding through the fabric of his mask as she responded almost instantly with a low pleasured moan. The kiss wasn't passionate like ones they had shared before but it was soft, delicate and intimate.

She didn't make a move to remove the fabric that separated them like he thought she would but he spied her eyes flutter shut as she lifted her hands and gently touched his face with long slender fingers.

He pulled away gently though by the way Rin moved her head towards him she was none too happy about it but she complied and opened her eyes to allow them to flit between his eye and his mouth.

"What was that for?" she whispered shakily.

"For understanding," he murmured back and he meant it. No one in the world understood him like she did and he had no other way of thanking her for just being there in the clinic just a few minutes ago. How he had coped this long without her guidance he would never know and he knew he would be repeating that same question to himself forever more.

"Don't worry about it," she muttered bashfully, that serine dusting of pink on her cheeks forcing her to lower her sights to the space between them as she allowed her hands to drape over his shoulders before she took a quick glance at her watch.

"We should get to the tea shop now, I bet Yamato and Sakura are waiting for us," she said tapping her hands on Kakashi's shoulders and navigating her way back to the street.

He fell in line with her as they walked and felt her gently link an arm around his. She pulled the fabric of his shirt sleeve into her fingers and played it in her hand but he was okay with that, she was comfortable with holding him like this so in turn he felt the same. She was the only woman he would ever allow to touch him in such a way and that was the way it would stay. He loved her, more than anything and this little incident did nothing but make him realise exactly why that was.

* * *

It seemed that neither Yamato or Sakura had turned up at the cafe yet and a quick look at the watch on her wrist told Rin that they still had ten minutes before they were due to meet here. But that was okay, the more time she got to spend alone with her precious copy ninja the better in her eyes.

They walked through the threshold of the little tea house together but she found herself shocked when the majority of the customers sat at the tables stopped dead in their conversations and turned to glare at her and her partner. It was like something out of a movie when the bad guy enters a bar, the music stops, everyone goes silent and the focus lies purely on the presence that just entered the room.

There were only a handful of people in the little building but Rin couldn't help herself as she froze up in the doorway, the memories of first entering this shop frothing to surface as the folks just sat in their chairs staring through her... judging her, tearing her to pieces with their eyes.

A warm hand on the small of her back brought her back to reality with a crash and she whipped her head over her shoulder to glance at Kakashi who was looking at her with that obsidian eye that said _'I'm here, just keep going.'_

It was enough for her to turn back around to step into the shop and soon enough the handful of punters soon lost interest in her and Kakashi's presence resuming with whatever business they had before. It shouldn't have mattered anyway, Rin liked it in here and she was glad Kakashi hadn't given her the chance to let these people ruin that for her.

The quaint little cafe hadn't changed a bit since the last time she had come here. Hell, it had only been just over a month ago since her last steaming mug of coffee in this place. It was one of the only havens she had while trapped in this hell hole. She had used this place many times to simply unwind or finish up snippets of paper work at the ends of shifts.

The view of the lake nestled in the woodland on the borders of the town was so beautiful despite the oversized puddle being the quarantined water supply that had killed countless people in this little village. But still she had been able to forget herself here and just enjoy existing, something that had been a rarity for her over the past decade.

All the tables that lined the borders of the shop were different, each one a different size shape, and colour to the one next to it and none of the chairs matched either which - rather than look chaotic and untidy - was actually quite homely and cosy.

The people who owned the shop were friendly and always welcomed her with a smile and as she approached the counter, Kakashi in tow, the kindly middle aged woman graced her with that same kind smile she remembered. If nothing else her welcoming expression brought a little warmth to Rin's bleak outlook.

"Oh my goodness! Rin-chan? My, you're looking well. I didn't think I would see you in here again!" the older woman gasped, placing her duster on the counter and looked Rin over with a curious awe.

"Hello, Hime-sama. Thank you and I honestly didn't think I would be coming back, but here I am," she chirped feeling less happy to be here than she sounded. But it wouldn't do to dampen the older lady's mood. She was a nice woman and she loved to talk, she was one of the only locals that had welcomed her into her life and Rin would be forever grateful to her for that.

"Well it's very good to see you, my girl!" she piped with a kind smile that quickly turning brazen as she spotted the tall shinobi stood next to her. "Oh, and who's this fine looking gentleman with you?" she commented flirtatiously as she eyed the copy nin over with a roving eye.

Rin couldn't help but giggle, the woman was old enough to be Kakashi's mother and she was also married to a man that adored her, but it was a well known fact in Machenich that dear old Hime-sama was a bit of a flirt, especially where younger men were concerned.

She was an attractive woman and she never failed to use this to her advantage. Sometimes watching the men blush and stutter around her advances was painful to watch but most of the time it was funny as hell and the two women had spent many happy moments laughing about it.

Rin had lost count of the amount of times Hime had deterred men from approaching her where she had liked to sit at the counter by turning on this flirtatious charm of hers. It had been an in running joke between them and Rin was surprised to find that she had actually missed it. It was all innocent fun but there was no denying that Hime enjoyed the attention she received from the men that passed through here.

"Oh, Hime-sama, this is my ... uh ... friend, Kakashi. Kakashi, this is Hime-Sama." She spoke as she waved a hand between them in her greeting as Kakashi held out his hand to the older woman who looked down at as though he was handing her a piece of expensive jewellery.

"Pleased to meet you, Hime-sama," he said while Hime gently wrapped her fingers around the tips of his.

"I can assure you the pleasure is all mine, Kakashi-kun," she cooed rubbing a rough looking thumb over his knuckles as her smile widened.

Rin saw Kakashi's spine snap rigid with the honorific Hime had used with his name as he coughed awkwardly, pulled his hand slowly from hers and shoved it back into his pocket. He looked like he'd just touched something very unpleasant. The uncomfortable crease to his visible eye was amplified by the deep rosy tint that had appeared over the hem of his mask. The sight was hysterical but Rin managed to choke down the chortles as he turned towards her and pointed behind himself with his thumb.

"I'll go grab us a table," he muttered before he strolled over to one of the free tables towards the back of the small cafe. Habitually Rin followed with her eyes as he went, still unable to shake off that warm pool of pleasure in her stomach from when he kissed her outside.

She hadn't expected it and it wasn't quite his style to be as spontaneous with his affection like that, but she hoped that kiss wouldn't be the last one she received today. In fact she was almost certain that it wouldn't be given the gift she had brought with her she had meant to give him on her return to Konoha but had simply forgotten about until packing her things ready to come here.

Secretly she wished she didn't have to share a room with Sakura tonight, she would gladly jump into bed with Kakashi and feel him place his hands and those glorious lips of his all over her. But with a mission to complete it wasn't wise to let such things get in the way, she had to remain focused and the last thing she wanted to do was taint what she already had with him with something as horrible as she would have to do in one day's time.

Her stomach lurched at the thought, the trip to the morgue was getting closer and she was dreading it.

"My my, so that's the _legendary copy ninja_? I never expected him to be so shy," Hime whispered over the counter triggering Rin's attention back to her. Her comment was a little baffling.

Rin had never thought of Kakashi as being _shy_. He was a bit of a recluse sometimes but hardly shy ... not like her anyway. If he had something to say he would say it no matter how offensive others may find it and he read those lewd books in public, certainly not the actions of someone who was considered easily embarrassed or coy. Although it was more than clear that this woman had embarrassed him but it was all in good fun, he'd get over it.

"I can certainly see what you see in him. I imagine he's quite dashing under that mask and he has lovely hands," She winked.

"Yeah, well I've known him a very long time. We've been friends for years," Rin responded with a warm smile which Hime returned almost instantly.

"Anyway, my dear, what would you like to order today?" the older woman piped as she resumed with wiping down her already immaculate counter top.

"Oh I'll have the usual, and Kakashi will have a regular coffee, just a little milk and no sugar, thank you."

"Ah, sweet enough is he?"

"Something like that, yeah."

Both women giggled before Hime turned to the machine behind her and prepared two of the largest mugs she had. She even remembered that Rin liked her coffee in one of huge soup mugs she kept so she had assumed her guest would have his the same way.

A quick glance over her shoulder showed that her partner was sitting at one of the tables near the door next to a window. With his chin planted firmly into the flat of his hand he was simply gazing through the glass panel at the world outside. She wondered what he was thinking about, it was hard to tell his current mood from here but he looked like he was in a world of his own.

She heard the telltale clink of porcelain on glass which again turned her attention back to the counter.

"How much is that, Hime-sama?" Rin mused reaching into her rear pouch to retrieve her purse.

"On the house, my love," she responded with so much love in her voice Rin thought she might cry. Her voice had always been so soothing back when she was stationed here and she had wittled away the woes when work had become a little too much for her to bear and she needed someone to talk to.

"Oh, no, I would much rather pay..."

"You'll do no such thing. Now go and sit with your_ friend_. He looks bored to tears."

Rin didn't know what to say. Hime had never given her free coffee before and although the kind gesture was small it warmed her heart to know that this kind old lady was so fond of her.

"Thank you, Hime-sama."

"The pleasure is all mine."

* * *

They both sat in a comfortable silence sipping away at their hot drinks and simply watching the world go by outside. The sun was still high in the sky and people were milling around the town, dropping in and out of the shops and just enjoying the brightness of the day.

Rin felt the anticipation from entering the village gradually dissipate and was replaced by an old familiar sense of warmth and nostalgia. It was a feeling she had managed to conjure a lot in this little coffee shop and the smile that was pulling at one corner of her mouth finally broke free. It was the first time she actually felt like smiling since she got here and it felt nice to just sit back and relax.

"It's actually quite nice here," Kakashi remarked somewhat dully from his side of the table prompting Rin to look his way. The comment told her that he had expected something quite different to what he saw.

"Yeah," she replied flatly turning back to the view outside.

It _was_ a nice place ... for a civilian. But Kakashi hadn't been here when she first arrived, the place was a mess then. A _real_ mess. The beauty he could see now had been built up around her over the years she had spent wishing she could just leave and go home.

Droves of the afflicted came pouring through the gates every single day all those years ago, it was only two years since the last new case came here, as far as she was aware anyway. It was unclear how Machenich Hospital had become the main hub for the _Rot_, more than likely those that had become infected blamed the lake that could be seen on the other side of the coffee shop even if they hadn't drunk the water itself.

The streets had been stained with blood of thousands of souls that failed to make it through the night. It was a horrible place then and that picture she had stored in her mind of the misery that took place here would never go away. To her Machenich reeked of death, a disgusting stench she thought she would never get out of her clothes or her skin.

She didn't expect Kakashi to understand how this place made her feel so she chose not to comment any more about it, yet she could sense him looking at her from the across the table.

"What's the matter? Have I sprouted an extra head or something?" she remarked with an amused grin as she turned her visual attention back to him.

She saw him smile with that trademark crease to his eye before he shook his head slowly. "No, I was just thinking about what you said to Hime-sama earlier."

"Why, what did I say?"

"That I was your _friend_." He'd put a lot of emphasis on that one single word - _'friend'_ - and he phrased the comment like it was question. It sounded like he was either offended by it or he didn't agree with it in some way, but Rin was finding it difficult to know exactly what he was getting at.

"So ... you're not my friend then?" she asked bemusedly resting her elbows on the table and lifting her huge mug of coffee to her mouth.

He didn't answer her straight away; he just sat there, arms crossed over the table top regarding her taking wary sips from her mug. Eventually she flicked her eyes his way again which prompted him to answer her.

"Well, I hoped you saw me as something a bit more than that."

The tone of his voice was as flat and indifferent as it ever was, but that didn't stop that violent flutter of butterflies swarm in her stomach forcing her to pause with her drink in hand. It wasn't something they hadn't openly discussed before now but it obviously seemed that Kakashi had been thinking about it.

"You mean like, my _boyfriend_?" she asked coyly. Kakashi chose to stay quiet again obviously noting the uncertainty in her voice, his expression didn't change but she had a feeling that the term _boyfriend_ was exactly what he thought he was to her.

"It sounds so silly though..." she whined, placing her mug down on the saucer that was much too small for it.

"Why does it? That's how I'd refer to you if anyone asked me now," he responded holding out a hand to her as if that would explain everything.

"As your boyfriend?" she huffed narrowing her eyes at him.

"N-no ... no, you know what I meant, Rin."

"Do I? Explain it to me," she teased, quite certain that he would drop the conversation. But Hatake Kakashi was full of surprises recently and he certainly delivered this time too.

"I _meant_ that if I was to introduce you to someone now I would say _'This is my _girlfriend_, Rin'."_

That swarm of butterflies stirred in her belly again, this time flushing straight up to her throat. She couldn't quite believe how quick he had come out with that last comment and he sounded so confident and sure of himself. The only time this had ever come up was when Sakura stuck an angry finger in her face in the Hokage's office and accused her of being no better than her _boyfriend_. Rin hadn't given it much thought thereafter. And Kakashi hadn't even mentioned it until just now... had he been thinking about it all this time?

"You ... I ... I mean ... Uhm ... Hm." she stumbled on her own tongue trying to get the words out that hadn't even formed in her brain yet so instead she coughed, snatched her little napkin from the table and began tearing it at the corners trying to focus herself. She knew this conversation would happen at some point, but she didn't realise just how bashful she would feel about it. Not only that but _he_ was the one who broached it when she was sure it would be her asking these sorts of questions at a later date.

She had tried so hard during her early teens to get Kakashi to notice her and failed each and every time. He even openly rejected her advances more than once and eventually she had given up altogether. She'd dreamed that one day she could call him her boyfriend, but now he_ had_ noticed her and he wanted to be referred to using that term and she didn't know where to put herself.

"Have I embarrassed you? Your face is crimson," he deadpanned.

"Uhm ... no ... but ... I don't know, I guess I haven't given it much thought, you know? Everything has been so hectic recently and ..." she hesitated hooking a stray stand of hair behind her ear as she flicked her eyes at him. He was still sat as cool as a cucumber looking at her thoughtfully. It annoyed the hell out of her that he could sit there so calm and collected and she was falling about herself like a bumbling idiot.

"I mean ... do you want to be, you know, my boyfriend?" her voice seemed to retreat into her throat when she asked, but she saw a grin form within the shadows of his mask as he crossed his legs beneath the table and slung an arm over the back of his chair.

"Well, I don't know. Are you asking me out?" he deadpanned as he wiggled his eyebrow at her. She'd never, _ever_, seen him do anything like that before and the little action all but knocked the wind out of her if only for a few seconds.

"I'm going to kick you right in the shin if don't start behaving yourself, Kakashi," she bit out pointing a knowing finger at him.

He laughed at her threat, another one of those genuine laughs that came from the base of his gut that he couldn't hold in. The sound made her smile against her will.

There was something about him that had changed recently that made his laugh more infectious than it used to be. It sounded different but familiar all at the same time but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

Eventually he fixed her with that same thoughtful eye of his before he shrugged his broad shoulders.

"I want whatever you want, Rin," he answered so softly his voice was almost a whisper.

She wanted to kiss him, just for that one little comment that was so vague yet so direct, that he wanted whatever she did. She could feel the muscles in her legs contracting preparing to launch her across the table so she could catch him in her arms and suck his face off.

That was until a shrill feminine voice sliced through the centre of the table bringing her back down to earth with an almighty thump.

"You're already here? Who are you and what've you done with the real Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura chortled planting both fists on her hips and thrusting her face into Kakashi's who cowered away from her almost banging his head against the window.

"I'm not late for _everything_, Sakura," he complained poking a finger on her forehead and promptly pushing her head back so she stood straight again.

"If you want a drink you should order now because Hime closes up in about thirty minutes. The rooms should be ready by then too," Rin informed them observing how they looked at each other and coming to another one of their mutual agreements.

"Alright, Sakura do you want your usual?" Yamato asked the young girl softly who responded with a brisk nod of her head and a deep blush that all but filled her face.

Something was definitely going on and it was fascinating.

Yamato left the three of them at the table as he wandered over to the counter at the far end of the shop where he would no doubt get harassed a little by Hime-sama just because he was young attractive guy. Sakura watched after him turning her entire body his way as she carefully took a seat next to Rin who turned her attention to Kakashi.

He was already looking at her, legs crossed, arms folded and leaning back comfortably in his chair. As soon as he clocked Rin he wiggled his eyebrow in the same manner as he did before while he shifted his sights to Sakura and then back again.

_He knows... _she thought somewhat absently as she lifted her drink to her lips. But it was what he did next that confirmed Kakashi's thoughts on the matter.

He lifted a hand and waved a finger at the space between the two other members of the team before lifting the other and resting both elbows on the table. He made an O shape with the fingers of one hand as he proceeded to poke through the hole he'd made with the index finger of his other hand. As he performed his hand signals he arched his brow again and nodded quite seriously.

The message was very clear and very blunt: '_Those two are fucking each other.'_

Rin's mouthful of hot coffee didn't stay there very long as the spontaneous laugh that rushed out of her caused her to spit most of it out all over the table and down her white tunic, the spray was like a mini fountain, or a garden hose.

Sakura span herself around just in time to see the brown liquid dripping from her chin and onto her once clean clothes.

Rin just sat there drenched in her own drink feeling the air around her become dense and stifling. The humiliation of what she'd just done was sinking in at a painfully slow rate and she vaguely heard Sakura asking what had just happened. Her voice sounded so distant like she was in another room and all she could do was stare wide eyed at Kakashi who was merely staring back at her with a very similar expression with his head tilted ever so slightly to one side.

And then he did something she hadn't seen him do since he was at least fifteen years old. He burst out laughing...

Not just one of his little chuckles, not even the laugh he had emitted when they were talking outside the clinic earlier that day, but a full blown guffaw that emptied his lungs completely and left him almost unable to breathe.

He squeezed his eye shut, desperately whooping the air back into his chest forcing a single tear to roll down his cheek. His head lolled back on his neck as he wrapped both arms around his stomach and all but face planted the table keeling over with the sheer force of his own laughter without an ounce of control. His laugh was so loud, so boisterous and bold, so infectious and so _not_ Kakashi that Rin soon found herself in a similar state as she began to lose the little grip she had on herself.

She didn't even know what she was laughing at; whether it was the hand signal Kakashi had given her about her two team mates or whether she was just laughing at him laughing at her.

Sakura just sat there in her seat asking what the hell was going on as she stared at them both with a comical horror in her eyes.

"Nothing ... it ... it's nothing ..." Kakashi chortled sitting up with considerable effort and trying his best to calm down by pinching the bridge of his nose. But each time he opened his eye he'd take a good look at Rin and the mess she'd just made which served to only set him off again, like a broken alarm clock with no regards for the correct time, forcing him to pinch his eye closed for the second, third and fourth time while he laughed his silly girly laugh that clicked in his throat and made his whole body bounce in his chair.

Rin managed to calm herself a lot quicker than he did with a long drawn out and rather loud sigh. She looked down at herself and feebly poked at the coffee that was now staining her tunic. It was everywhere, all over her bust dribbling downwards over the curves, all over the table but most of it had ended up in her lap which was now getting quite chilly and making her feel like she'd just wet her pants. How humiliating...

"D'aww, look at me ... Look what you did!" she yelped at the man still chuckling to himself at her expense opposite.

"I didn't do anything!" he yelped back holding up both hands in his defense.

"What's going on over here? What am I missing?" Yamato's voice came from the side of the table while he looked Rin and her mess over with an innocent curiosity.

"I have no idea..." Sakura responded flatly with a small shake of her head.

"I missed my mouth," Rin interjected as she dabbed the already wet napkin over her tunic unsuccessfully. She was certain the garment was now ruined, coffee was a bitch to get out of white clothes and to make matters worse she would have to walk back to the hotel looking like a homeless bum.

"Goodness knows how you managed that," Kakashi commented casually soon accompanied by a harsh grunt as Rin kicked him in the shin under the table like she had threatened to do earlier. He hissed inwardly and winced at her as he leaned over and started to rub at the now tender spot on his leg.

Sakura turned away from the pair of them with a shake of her head seeming that she'd had enough of their foolishness and engaged Yamato in a conversation about some ninjutsu she was trying to learn for an upcoming exam. It seemed the conversation was being continued from before they entered the shop.

"_I-am-going-to-kill-you-for-this." _she mouthed silently at Kakashi and meaning every word of it, in a hypothetical way of course.

She saw him smirk as he sat back up and started giving her more hand signals knowing the other two were now engaged in a conversation of their own.

He shook his head dramatically, pointed at her with both hands, made heart shape with them and then jabbed himself in the chest with his thumbs.

_I don't think so because you love me._

* * *

The hotel was exactly how Rin had described it, it was nice. It was nothing incredibly special but nice nonetheless, he had stayed in far worse places that was for sure.

The beds were comfortable and the sheets clean and fresh so Kakashi was happy enough. The only reason he ever stayed in an inn or a hotel like this was for somewhere to put his head when he needed to sleep. He didn't mind camping out but nothing beat a nice warm bed.

The room itself was quite small; the two single beds on either side dominated the space and was separated by a single end table holding a vase containing some rather ugly looking fake flowers. There wasn't much room to walk around but Machenich seemed to be more of a holiday resort than an actual town so the rooms weren't really designed for hanging around in just for sleeping and getting ready to go places.

There was a small wet room next to his bed with an actual flushing toilet as opposed to the public shower rooms with a hole in the floor a lot of hovels had, so at least he knew he would have a little privacy when it came to washing and visiting the little boy's room. There was even a bar/restaurant downstairs and a large sitting room with a big screen TV on the wall. This had to be the nicest hotel Kakashi had ever stayed in.

Sitting on the bed he had picked out of the two in the room he bounced his posterior on it in an attempt to test its springs. Not a single creak in ear shot. Score! There was nothing worse than trying to sleep on a creaky bed.

"So you're having that one then, senpai?" Tenzou asked obviously quite anxious to find out where he would be resting his weary head.

"Yep," he answered flatly allowing his body to flop back on the cool crystal white sheets. Wrapping his arms around the back of his head he lay there content with the view of the ceiling as he listened to Tenzou unpacking his essentials. Kakashi preferred to live out of the suitcase when it came to travelling, one never knew if he had to move quickly and there was nothing worse than forgetting something important like an expensive trusty razor when one was in a hurry to leave. Such a thing had happened to him during an ANBU mission and he went home looking like a scruffy hobo in uniform. That beard and moustache took ages to shave off.

"So, mind if I ask what all that was about back at the cafe, Kakashi-senpai?"

"Hm?"

"Why Rin-san was covered in coffee and why you were laughing ... although you were laughing so hard I thought you were choking on something at first." Tenzou sounded almost concerned, almost but not quite.

_She spat out her drink because I told her you were screwing my former student._

"It was nothing really. She took a drink of her coffee and I guess she didn't swallow it properly which made her spit it out. I just thought it was funny, that's all," he lied. It must have been a convincing one anyway because Tenzou decided to poke around elsewhere, lucky for him Kakashi was in a talkative mood today.

"You're really taken with Rin-san, aren't you?"

He couldn't help it, but the question made him smile.

_Taken with her? Are you mad? I'm crazy about her I just haven't told anyone yet..._

"Yeah, I guess I am," Kakashi replied wistfully as Tenzou rose from his bed and navigated around the beds and Kakashi's feet towards the mini bathroom.

"Can I take the first shower?" The wood user asked flatly

"Sure," he sighed as he closed his eyes. He was still daydreaming, smiling like an idiot, his stomach still hurt from laughing so hard earlier and Sakura thought he was completely bonkers (nothing new there just a bit more bonkers than usual) but he didn't care.

He hadn't felt this good in years; in fact he couldn't even remember the last time he felt like this. It felt amazing like there was something soft and fluffy running around in his belly making him do and say crazy things. It was all Rin's fault and he decided then and there that if he ever did anything else that was deemed _not- like-him_ he would just blame her. It was easy to just do that and he was certain that she wouldn't mind one bit.

He hadn't even noticed that Tenzou had gone when he heard the distinctive sound of shower spray on curtain fabric. It wasn't enough to knock him out of his near blissful catatonic state but the loud knocking on the door sure was. He glared at the door like it was the large panel itself that had disturbed him until the knocking came again.

For whatever reason he assumed it was room service wanting to come in and make sure they were settling in okay (the manager at the desk told them they do things like that, what a stupid idea).

"Go away, I'm not decent," he called irritably letting his head flop back onto the bed.

"Oh, for crying out loud, put your penis away, it's me!" came the amused voice from the other side of the door.

With energy he didn't think he had Kakashi bounced himself from the bed, straightened out the kinks in his shirt and habitually brushed a hand through his messy hair before he opened the door to find Rin on the other side.

"Blimey, that was quick!" she chirped giving him the once over with her pretty dark eyes "I thought you said you weren't decent?"

"I thought you were room service," he droned taking the time to take a brisk look up and down the long corridor before turning his attention back to Rin.

"So, what can I do for you, you want to come and play in my room for a bit?" he teased as he leaned his body against the door.

"Uh ... no. Actually I have a present for you," she quipped as she grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the corridor.

He noticed then that she'd changed out of her coffee stained clothes and was now wearing nothing but a very long purple button up shirt that hung to her knees. She still looked pretty sexy even in her baggy shirt, hell, she'd still look sexy in a potato sack, or a bin liner, or nothing at all, definitely in nothing at all.

"A present, for me?" he mused feeling genuinely surprised. That was when he saw she was standing with both hands behind her back possibly hiding this gift she had.

"What is it?" he asked as he tried to reach around her to grab whatever it was she had but she was too fast for him as she quickly swivelled herself out of his reach.

"Hear me out first!" she giggled before she composed herself and continued with what she wanted to say. "So, I bought these a while ago..."

"Oh! There's more than one?"

"Yeah, and I intended to give them to you when I first got back to Konoha. But everything was all up in the air and a bit chaotic at the time and I completely forgot about them."

"Okay, I understand that."

"But then I found them again when I was packing my things to come here. I was gonna give them to you on the way but I've been a bit ... pre-occupied with ... uhm ..." she hesitated lowering her sights to her feet as she tried to find the right words. She'd been reeling from the news of her team leaders death so it was no wonder her short term memory on something so trivial wasn't at its best.

"It's alright, Rin," he interjected softly which gained him a small but pretty smile.

"Well, yeah, you know how it's been. But I remembered them again today." With that she drew her hands from behind herself and presented Kakashi with two books both with light blue covers and bright colourful letters emblazoned on the front. Icha Icha Diversions, both of them.

The wind left Kakashi's lungs so fast he thought he was going to pass out as he stood there simply gawping down at the books in her hand.

"What the ... where ... how...?" He couldn't even speak, he was in that much shock. He had wanted these two books, no, _needed _them, for the past five years since their release and here the girl of his dreams was just presenting them to him.

Slowly Kakashi reached for them praying to the gods that he wasn't dreaming, that this was actually real and he was now in possession of a very rare miniature collection of his favourite series. He took them from her and held them in front of him for what seemed like an eternity while he rubbed a thumb over the pristine cover.

"Rin, these are so expensive to buy, _if_ you can find them, I've been looking for these for years. Where in the world did you get them?" He could hear the excited quiver in his own voice. He wasn't sure whether he should be jumping up and down on the spot shouting his head off or down on his knees sobbing his heart out. Maybe he should do both...

"The little book store around the corner from the clinic..." she all but squeaked causing him to spring his head up and stare at her with wide eyes. She was talking about the same book store in the story she had used to distract him from the injection.

"So, the lie I told this afternoon wasn't really a lie... just a truth that's three years out of date." She hunched her shoulders, looking almost pleased with herself that she had finally put right something she must have thought really upset him.

Kakashi looked back down at the books in his hand, still not quite believing what had just happened or why...

"They didn't come with a box though ... they're second hand, but they've hardly been read, they're in really good condition, I know because I flipped through them and..."

He silenced her with a finger placed delicately on her mouth.

"Rin, you have absolutely no idea how happy you've just made me. I don't care about the box..."

He was rewarded again with that beautiful smile of hers as she hooked a lock of auburn behind her ear.

"But ... I don't have anything to give you in return ... I can pay you for them if you want, even second hand they can't have been cheap," he muttered shamefully as he regarded her for a reaction.

Her smile just broadened on her pretty face as she reached out and touched the fabric on the arm of his shirt like she was picking fluff away from it, though needlessly.

"I didn't buy them to get anything back, Kakashi. I bought them because when I saw them you were the first thing that popped into my head. That's the only reason. They're a gift. Enjoy them. And I'll see you at dinner later."

With that she backed away from him swinging her arms by her sides, walked into a room next door but one to his and closed the door. She didn't even wait to hear him at least try to thank her.

Kakashi stood there and watched her disappear into her room not realising how tightly he was clutching his new books to his chest. He would treasure them for as long as he lived, he could promise her that much because these weren't just books, not anymore. They were part of Rin's memory of him at a very difficult time of her life, and during this difficult period she had still spared him at least a second thought. That alone was a treasure in itself.

One day, he decided there and then, he was going to marry her.


	14. Dreamer

AN: Hi hi! I know a lot of you have been waiting for this next chapter for a while now (I get lots of messages on my DA as to when I'll be updating next, lol) and all I can do is apologise. However please please PLEASE know that I have no intentions of abandoning this story. I love writing it but I like to take my time on each chapter so that it's not rubbish or anything, haste makes waste as they say. I want you guys to enjoy reading it as much I enjoy writing it. It may take a little longer for me to update now because I've started concentrating more on my art but I will finish this, so please don't worry :)

I love all of you, Saph x

* * *

_**Crossing Rubicon's**_

_**Dreamer.**_

oOo

There hadn't been any kiss like Rin had originally hoped but Kakashi's reaction to the books had been something she definitely did not expect, if she was honest she wasn't sure what she had expected. She hoped that it had been the _offering_ of the books that had made his voice quiver and forced that spontaneous chuckle that was almost a sigh to pass his lips and not the books themselves. It didn't really matter either way, the smile on her face was impossible to shake off even as she walked through the door and saw Sakura turn towards her and eye her over with a mischievous curiosity.

"Did he like them?" the young medic asked with a slight giggle in her voice. She was obviously talking about the books Rin had found in her pack. What a silly question...

"Put it this way, I thought he was going to cry," Rin replied with an equal amount of amusement as she made her way over to Sakura's side of the room. The best thing about that statement was it wasn't a lie. She was so sure she had seen his lower lip quiver when she had presented those books to him. The mask he wore made it difficult to see such an action but she was certain his emotions almost got the better of him. Kakashi was so cute sometimes it took all the effort she had not to just pinch his cheek and tell him so, the only thing stopping her being that he probably wouldn't appreciate the comment.

The young girl laughed at her response while turning her attention back to the large mirror standing on the end table at the side of her bed.

"I seriously don't know what you see him," she quipped running a brush roughly through her pink locks.

"There's a lot more to Hatake Kakashi than meets the eye, Sakura."

"Like what? All he thinks about is porn."

"Hey, now that's not true..." Rin felt herself getting defensive around the young girl who was basically accusing her man of being a pervert, something he was most certainly not even despite the fact that she had accused him of such things before but purely in jest. She was certain if Sakura had said such a thing to the copy nin himself he would just agree with her, but mainly for a quiet life. Confrontations like this just weren't his thing, but he wasn't here and Rin would defend him to the hills if she could.

"Well those books he reads..."

"... Are actually pretty good. Have you tried reading one?"

"You read them too?" Sakura squawked as she jolted from the bed like Rin had just asked if she could touch her boobs. What was the big deal with those books anyway? Kakashi wasn't the only one who read them, she remembered Yumi-chan being quite big fan of the Icha Icha series too hence how she had first heard of the Diversions box set she had found in the bookstore.

She pouted at the young medic disapprovingly for a moment before she grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down to the bed.

"Just try and _act_ like an adult for a second, Sakura, please," Rin bit out which seemed to offend the young medic as her face crumpled dejectedly at the comment. The expression pulled at Rin's chest and it made her feel quite guilty for being so short with her but she wasn't a child and she had a boyfriend by all accounts. Something like an erotic novel shouldn't be approached with so much caution at her age. They were just stories after all.

"Just because he likes to read erotica doesn't make him a pervert, or a creep, they're not _that_ sexually explicit anyway. I mean, how many times have you spotted him peeking through the gaps at the women's bath house?"

"Well... never..."

"Or roving his eye over girls in the street?"

"Only once..."

"O-oh?"

"Yeah, but it was you he was eyeing up so I suppose that doesn't really count does it?"

"Hm, I guess not."

The two girls regarded each other for a second as Sakura digested the information in her head until Rin hummed a chuckle at the young girl next to her, picked up her own brush from the end table in front and began running it through her long hair.

"Anyway, I'm in the right mind to ask you some questions of my own regarding a certain someone," Rin quipped flicking her sights towards Sakura who was now going a deep shade of crimson that could almost rival the colour of her top.

"What are you talking about?" the pink topped girl muttered the comment obviously hitting on a raw and very sensitive nerve.

"Oh come on, Sakura, I wasn't born yesterday," Rin teased as she nudged her new found friend with her knee.

"You and Yamato. You two have been pawing all over each other since we set off from Konoha. I have to admit he's a bit of a sweetheart, isn't he? I might have to steal him from you," she punctuated her statement with a coy laugh at the thought that she could be developing a small crush in the wood user herself. The idea was ludicrous, Yamato was a good year or so younger than her, and he wasn't really her type anyway despite how adorable he seemed but it only served to heighten her amusement that was until she felt Sakura take hold of her arm.

"Please don't tell Kakashi-sensei, please," She begged her face a picture of anxiety as she gazed up at Rin.

"Oh! So there _is_ something going on!" Rin chirped gleefully clapping her hands together as she bounced herself on the bed. She was surprised that the young girl had admitted it so quickly but pleased she had done nonetheless. She had been dying to know for sure since she had started putting the pieces together.

"Yes, we've been seeing each other for a while now, it's really nothing serious, not yet anyway... but if Kakashi-sensei found out he'd go crazy."

"Kakashi? Go_ crazy_? What makes you think that? He's your team leader, not your dad, Sakura."

The young girl huffed irritably as she plopped herself back on the bed next to Rin. What she said was true though, it really had nothing to do with _anyone_ who Sakura or Yamato decided to date, and it baffled her as to why she thought Kakashi wouldn't be happy about it. If anything he found the whole situation as amusing and fascinating as she did. She doubted very much he would jump for joy over it, he would probably just shrug his shoulders, maybe even crack a smile and that would be that. Kakashi wasn't the sort to let such things get to him in an openly emotional way.

"It's just Yamato is our team leader too sometimes. And I'm worried Kakashi-sensei would see it like we were breaking up the team somehow..."

"Sakura, Kakashi was my team leader for the best part of five years before I left Konoha, don't you think it would be a bit hypocritical of him to disapprove of what you and Yamato decide to get up to? It's not like it's any of his business anyway," she soothed which seem to spark the young girl's interest.

"Oh, I thought you were just team mates..." she asked inquisitively as she seemed to relax a little on the bed.

Of course there was no reason why Sakura should think any different, Kakashi had introduced her to his squad as his 'Team mate' not his subordinate which she had been back then. She saw no reason why she shouldn't shed a bit more light on it.

"We were, but ... things ... happened and we ended up being a two man team for a while. Kakashi was already a Jounin by then so it was only natural that he was the head of the squad. We were often teamed up with others to make up the four man cell but ... the chemistry was never quite right, you know? It was never the same as before..." She sighed a little trying to dumb down the memories her mind wanted her to see before she carried on.

"And then Team Minato disbanded altogether when Kakashi got called up to serve for the ANBU. And all my time was taken up with hospital duties..." _and then I ended up here for the next ten miserable years._ Rin shrugged to end her side of the conversation. She'd been able to hear the hue of sadness in her own voice as she'd took to playing the hem of her long shirt in her fingers. It seemed that Sakura had noted her tone too as she glanced back towards the mirror with an awkward grimace.

The memories of her and Kakashi being part of a simple two man cell were fond ones and she knew they made a good team, they had always worked so well together, but she missed those days terribly. She missed Obito and Minato-sensei terribly. It wasn't often she went a whole day without one or the other or even both entering her head at some point. What she wouldn't give to be able to talk to them just one more time. She promised herself that she would visit the cenotaph when she returned to Konoha. It had been too long since she had last paid her respects to them. She wouldn't be around today if it wasn't for them...

"So, what do you think we should do, about Kakashi-sensei, I mean," Sakura asked sheepishly as she went back to brushing her hair as Rin collected a towel from her pack at the base of the bed and began to wander towards the tiny wet room on the far side feeling more than relieved that the previous conversation was over.

"Kakashi really cares about you, about all of you and he'd do anything he could to protect you. But I really don't think you and Yamato have anything to worry about. If you want to tell him, then tell him. If you don't then that's okay too. Kakashi won't be offended either way," Rin assured her as she leaned herself against the wet room door and swinging her towel over her shoulder.

"But, if you want my honest opinion, if I figured out something was happening between the two of you over such a short space of time then Kakashi has known about it for far longer than I have." With that she watched Sakura's spine snap straight seeming to freeze up on her bed as Rin stepped into the wet room and closed the door.

The poor girl, she was so easy to tease.

* * *

The four of them made their way down to the foyer of the hotel in the hopes of being able to fill their bellies and soon. It was an expansive clinical area decorated with ornate, crisp floor tiles and a large chandelier that hovered over the whole room, its jewel like beads threatening to drop like rain at any second. The copy nin surmised as he visually examined the cut glass rocks above him that if one was to fall and hit someone on the head it would at least give someone concussion if not knock them clean out altogether. It was at that point he decided he didn't want to stand directly beneath the huge light fixture anymore and cautiously manoeuvred himself around the other side of the room.

He continued to look around the large space with an inquisitive awe while the two girls worked on reserving tables in the restaurant. Kakashi hoped they would be eating soon, he hadn't had a proper meal in days and he could feel his stomach complaining about it which caused him to habitually run the flat of his hand across it in a soothing, sympathetic way.

It really was a nice place, this Machenich. It was a shame Rin hated it here so much, he would have liked to return here on more sociable terms when on leave even if the people didn't much like their kind, there would be no need to interact with them. It could just be him and her and their surroundings. He smiled grimly to himself knowing that such a thing was way out of his reach. She would never want to come back here after this, after being trapped here for so long and he couldn't really blame her. He imagined the feeling being similar to returning to a concentration camp you had once been a prisoner of. Not pleasant...

"We can go sit down now if we want, there's an empty booth at the back of the restaurant," Sakura chirped happily as she strolled back over to join the rest of the team.

"Ugh, I could eat a scabby horse, I'm _so_ hungry!" Rin complained rubbing a hand on her flat stomach.

Kakashi eyed her over and silently scrutinised her outfit. He was mildly disappointed to discover that she had changed out of that long purple shirt in favour of a pair of black slacks and a simple white T-shirt. The purple shirt was obviously not the most appropriate thing to wear for dinner when staying in a posh hotel but he quite like the imagery of him picking her buttons off with his teeth. That would be a fantasy he would have to revisit later...

"Well, we'd better hope they have _that_ on the menu, I could just go for some festering horse carcass right about now," Kakashi deadpanned as he leaned a little towards the pretty brunette and nudged her with his shoulder.

"Kakashi, you're disgusting! I can't take you _anywhere_," she grumbled with a soft smile betraying the tone of her voice as she followed the other two into the sitting room that led to the restaurant.

"I was only rephrasing what you already said, I hope I didn't put you off your _scabby horse_," he replied flatly which earned him a disapproving shake of her head.

The next room, the lounge area, was just as big as the foyer only darker in decor which made it seem warmer and more homely in contrast. A large corner style sofa dominated the centre of the room and an oversized television set hung on the wall opposite like a picture frame.

Kakashi had never been one for watching TV; there was never anything that really grabbed his interest long enough for him to warrant having a set of his own. He enjoyed watching the news at the Jounin headquarters on the small portable television sat on the coffee counter but that was as far as it went. Why bother paying out for a set and licence to own it when he could watch it for free? That and it was just something else he would have dust and keep clean. But Rin had left the set she had bought to watch her soap opera at his place and he had found himself abandoning his usual reading material in favour of a certain Baku's Farm.

He'd flick the remote (that had far too many buttons for his mind to even comprehend) at the TV in his apartment just for some background noise of an evening while he finished paper work or read a book or ironed his clothes or some other mundane task that really needed doing. But he'd find himself gawping open mouthed at the set while all the sordid yet _delicious_ action spilled out of the screen. He'd even shouted at it a few times when he disagreed with some of the decisions the characters made which had surprised him a little, though not enough to make him want to stop watching.

Baku's Farm was actually pretty good and swimming with innuendo and he felt a bit gutted if he'd unfortunately missed an episode here and there due to working late amongst other things. He wondered if Rin was up to date with what was going on though he didn't think he would ask her after all the teasing he'd given her about it when he first discovered she liked soap operas.

As he meandered past the huge screen he gave it a habitual glance to see that Baku's Farm was now playing out on the screen and before he knew it his entire body was making a beeline towards the back of the sofa.

He vaguely noticed someone sitting on the sofa in front glance over their shoulder at him as he rested his forearms on the back of the large couch cushions but he didn't justify the glance with a response, his attention being squarely focused on the TV set on the wall.

"Oh cripes, I've missed so much! What's happened?" a sexy feminine voice whispered beside him. He flitted his eye in that general direction to see Rin in almost the exact same position as him, her eyes wide and locked with the television.

He leaned his body towards her as he focused his visual attention back to the screen so he could whisper in her ear and began to spill what he knew of the plot.

"I've missed a couple of episodes myself, but as far as I know the bi-sexual guy that's sleeping with the pretty bar maid has been found out by her father and he's blackmailing him into doing a drug run for him or he's going to inform his boyfriend exactly what he's been getting up to. It's all a bit farfetched and dramatic but he really wants to keep the affair a secret."

"Ooh, naughty boy."

"Heh, I know right? Also, that Kakashi guy, the old one that owns the wool factory, he's now been arrested for trying to poison the guy that owns the nightclub after he lost a lot of money to him during a game of poker. It seems Kakashi wants to own the club for some reason..."

"Oh he's been after the club since day one. Goodness knows why, it's a dive..."

"Tell me about it. But his girlfriend got took in by the police for questioning a few days ago because it turns out _she_ may have had a hand in the attempted murder. But I think I missed the episode where you see her doing her bit, it all gets a bit confusing after that. What is it with older guys in these things? The woman is young enough to be his granddaughter..."

"Gift of the gab, I reckon. Not to mention he's loaded, money is always a turn on for the gold diggers. I'm surprised he's not dead yet, I read the producers were going to kill him off."

"Yeah, but he's a popular character so they have to tread carefully. I'm really taken with Mei though, the pretty one with the dark hair? She's adorable; I think she reminds me of you a little." Kakashi glanced at Rin to see her looking back at him with a small fond smile on her lips and the beginnings of a cute little flush over the bridge of her nose. It seemed she was taking his comparison of her and the character from the show as a compliment, which he supposed it was really though the actress that played her was not a patch on the kunoichi next to him.

His eyes moved to her lips then, he took in the detail of them as he had done numerous times, how supple, full and fresh they were, how he wanted to taste them on his tongue, just once more to get his fix, that would be enough. He could just lean over now to kiss her and the temptation was beginning to get the better of him just as his train of thought was derailed by one of the hotel guests in the room.

"Shush! We're trying to watch this!" came the harsh hiss of the older woman sitting below them. She shot Kakashi a look of total disdain, her mouth pulling downwards in a cod like scowl as both he and Rin lifted their hands defensively to her.

"Sorry," they both whispered in unison which seemed to be enough for the older woman to huff and slouch back into position.

The pair shot a glance between them grimacing at what had just transpired, their expressions said it all: _"Well... that taught _us_" _before they turned their attention back to the screen.

It seemed they had joined the viewing of the programme a good ten minutes into the second half of the thirty minutes the show ran for because before either of them really knew it the credits were rolling and the majority of those that were sat on the oversized sofa were removing themselves from the room.

"I guess we should join the other two..." Rin sighed dolefully pushing herself back from the back of the couch with her arms in order to spy where the other members of their squad had seated themselves.

"I doubt very much that we've been missed," Kakashi inputted as he stood straight planted both hands on his back and proceeded to stretch himself backwards relishing in the way his spine popped back into place in the most satisfying way.

"What do you mean?" the pretty brunette asked sounding more confused than she should have as they began traversing slowly through the lounge towards the dining area at the rear of the hotel.

"Well, knowing what's been going on with those two for the past few months my guess is that they've been sat at our table latched to each other like a couple of slugs."

"Ew, Kakashi, _'kissing'_ would have been a much nicer description," she scolded.

Kakashi just shrugged at her response. It didn't matter what he called it, it was all the same thing to him. Though he wouldn't mind being latched to Rin like a slug but kissing would only be one of the actions he would very much enjoy performing. It was at that point he decided to move the conversation forward before his rebellious imagination decided to get the better of him.

"I was actually wondering, seeing as you've had a fair bit of time to spend with her, if Sakura had mentioned anything about it?" he pressed feeling far more curious about the situation between his subordinates than he knew was actually good for him. Even he knew it wasn't like him to pry into the private lives of others but it was too difficult to resist. He wanted to know what was happening, wanted to be in on the loop and he was more than sure the pink topped kunoichi had said something to her roommate, even more so when he saw Rin's brow knit together and her shoulders stiffen as they walked.

"No, she hasn't said anything, why?" she stated hurriedly.

Kakashi felt the grin on his lips twitch upwards at her blatant lie. Of course they had talked about it, of course Sakura had said something to her. But instead of feeling hurt that Rin was keeping whatever information she had from him, he found it endearing that she was reluctant to breach the young girls trust. If it wasn't supposed to be a secret then Rin would have said something by now. It was nice to see that she was actually making an effort to bond with members of her team, of _their_ team.

"Oh, no reason," he replied, giving her a shrug as if he couldn't really care less about the subject. He _shouldn't_ care... but he did and he didn't quite know why. The thought perturbed him, if only a little but he was determined to get to the bottom of it even if it meant having his own teeth extracted by a certain candy frosted medic. He could cope with that, just to be in on it. He was the only one here now that had no solid proof that something was going on, and he didn't like it.

They made their way into the restaurant area littered with posh looking tables and chairs all decorated with a single red carnation in a small glass vase sat on an ivory white silken table cloth. The restaurant was quite busy, almost every table was taken up by families or couples and most if not all of them were very smartly dressed. He even noticed a few of the guests looking him over and clicking their tongues in distaste as he walked by which he found unusually unnerving.

He was beginning to wish he had worn something other than a pair of old work pants and his navy blue over-shirt but suits and ties weren't really his thing. He didn't even own a suit, just the odd pair of dress pants and a few button down shirts he only wore on special occasions which was very rare, dressing to impress was something he had never done.

After finally traversing through the masses of people that were currently dining here the pair seated themselves in the booth Rin and Sakura had booked only minutes ago. The table was dressed much the same as the others but the seats were long pews that sat either side of the table. The leather, padded almost to bursting was a rich burgundy and so clean it looked new. The copy nin almost didn't want to sit down with the fear that his own backside would ruin the upholstery.

"The waiter hasn't been yet has he?" Rin asked as she shuffled along the long padded seat to let Kakashi park himself next to her somewhat warily. Lucky for him it seemed the rest of the troupe didn't notice his apprehension.

"No not yet. Where'd you two get to? You guys seem to be disappearing an awful lot lately," Sakura asked with an unusually dark tone to her voice.

"Well, it's so busy in here we got a bit lost when you two ran off and left us in the lounge. Something tells me, Sakura, that you're trying to ditch us," Kakashi responded coolly as he folded his hands over the table.

Both Tenzou and Sakura gave each other a shifty glance before Sakura huffed and sat back in her seat. Maybe the assumption he had just made was actually true which would give both of them a perfect reason not to respond, or maybe Sakura just didn't have a comeback witty enough to counter his accusation. More than likely it was going to be the latter. Losing Sakura in a crowd was quite difficult given her unusual hair colour, one could spot her miles away.

"Anyway, I'm famished let's see what's on the menu," he commented casually as he plucked one of the many leather bound menu's from the wooden holder at the edge of the table. Yes, this place was far too sophisticated for a village bumpkin like him...

* * *

Everyone apart from an unusually indecisive Kakashi-sensei had picked out what they wanted for their evening meal and Sakura was finding it quite amusing watching Rin try and coax the copy nin into choosing something to eat.

"What about that? It has fish in it, you like fish."

"Yeah... but what's this _tartare sauce_ they keep offering?"

"It's just a tangy sauce they put on fish here. It's nice, you'll like it."

"Yeah, but I might not and then I've wasted my meal."

"Just order it without the sauce then..."

"I could do that but then the fish will be all plain and boring, and I don't want that."

"Kakashi, for the love of the Gods just pick something! We're all waiting for you!"

"Patience is a virtue, Rin,"

"No, my patience with _you_ is running dangerously thin."

With that Rin-sensei snatched the menu from him and laid it out on the table in front of them while she ran a finger down the long seemingly endless list of meals with a heavy and exasperated sigh. Kakashi-sensei leaned himself over the menu as she did so watching her hand move over the glossy sheets.

The sight made Sakura smile; even though the interaction between both of them was undeniably cute it made it look like a mother scolding her child for not making a decision. Maybe Kakashi needed a bit of dominance in his life, maybe he liked it... the latter thought made Sakura shudder in her seat, thinking of Kakashi-sensei in such a way was so not healthy. But Rin-sensei had a point. All four of them were ravenous and Sakura could spy the waiter getting closer to their table with his little ledger in hand.

She felt the warmth of soft fingertips on the back of her hand which caused her to shift her eyes to the man sitting next to her. Yamato was sitting with an elbow on the table resting his chin in the palm of his hand. When he noticed her looking at him he casually rotated his eyes towards her and allowed his mouth to curve upwards a little which sent an electric tremor to race up Sakura's backbone.

Had someone informed her when she had first met him that she would be dating him a mere two years later she would have laughed in their face. But here she was, grinning stupidly at him and blushing like a little girl would blush at her crush.

Their relationship was far from serious, they'd eaten out a couple of times and Yamato had kissed her on the cheek at least twice, but that was as far as it was going so far. But Sakura didn't mind. She didn't want a man that pawed at her constantly wanting something more than she was willing to give them. She'd had her fair share of assholes over the years and she was all set on giving up on men altogether so she could just concentrate on her career. That was until Yamato began stealing her heart piece by piece.

There was never any official asking out or date arranging, it had all started on the usual dinner the team had when returning from a successful mission. They always ate at Ichiraku's and Naruto would always join them at some point during the evening, they would sit and eat and reminisce and even Sasuke would find himself smiling or even laughing at some point. It was just like old times, except when Yamato was leading the team, Kakashi-sensei wasn't around and Naruto now dressed in his Hokage robe as opposed to the black and orange jump suit he used to prefer. But one particular night had been different with Yamato and Sakura being left at their table alone while the others had seemingly retired for the night. They'd got talking, they found common grounds and they liked each other. What else did there need to be?

If it all petered out and nothing came of it, then that was fine. They could still be team mates, they could still be friends. But if something did happen, if it became more than what it was already, well, that was nothing short of a bonus in her book. But even then she still couldn't be sure how her squad would react if they were to find out just how much time her and Yamato had been spending together, and how her feelings were evolving from an innocent fondness to something much more intense and electrifying. She didn't want to be a hindrance to her team... not again and it was that thought in the back of her mind that was preventing her from voicing how she really felt about him.

She sat and regarded him for what seemed like forever as they just smiled lamely at each other until her thoughts were interrupted by a shrill cry from the opposite side of the table.

"Ah! Look, they do salted saury here, now I _know_ you like that," Rin chortled as she tapped an index finger over the glossy menu page.

"Hm... but I can have that any time. I wanted to try something different and exotic," Kakashi drawled letting his face slide deeper into the palm of his hand obviously feeling unimpressed by his dinner guests find.

"At this rate the only thing you'll be eating that's _exotic_ is the leather off this menu."

"Just let me have another look at it myself, I'll pick something before the waiter gets here."

"You had better..."

Just as Rin handed the leather bound pages back to her squad leader the waiter had already turned up at the table.

"Hello, welcome to the Sunrise Valley hotel, I'm Xaki and I'll be your waiter this evening. Is everyone ready to order?"

Sakura was about to open her mouth to let the smartly dressed man (and quite cute too to boot with his jet black styled hair, startling wide blue eyes and chiselled boyish facial features) know that Kakashi was still deciding but was stopped in her tracks when the copy nin snapped his menu closed and turned towards the waiter with that trademark eye crease of his.

"Yes, I believe we are," he drawled.

"Hallelujah," Rin-sensei grumbled in her seat next to him before she emitted a series of small giggles when she noticed that Sakura was looking at her with an equal amount of amusement. She didn't believe she had found her former teacher this funny to watch before.

"Okay, great!" The waiter piped with a genuine smile as he flipped out his ledger to a clean page and poised his pen above it just as Rin-sensei began to speak.

"Yes, I will have the vegetable stir fry, Sakura will have the same, Yamato would like the sushi platter and Kakashi ..." she paused obviously not knowing what her last dinner partner wanted and offered a hand to him to tell the waiter himself.

"Oh, I want the salted saury, please and do you serve that _tartare sauce_ stuff on its own?" he asked his question while demonstrating what he meant with curling the fingers of both hands into little O shapes which Sakura assumed described a pot of some sort.

"Yes, yes we do. Would you like to sample our tartar sauce, sir? It's very delicious on most of our fish dishes," Xaki asked seeming to be genuinely interested in fulfilling Kakashi's order.

"Yes, please," Kakashi answered somewhat dully as Xaki scribbled the order down on his ledger.

"Okay, I shall bring your chopsticks to you in a moment and your meals will be with you in about twenty minutes. Please help yourself to the condiments that you will find over at the bar and thank you again for choosing to stay at Sunrise Valley," the young man quipped just before he rushed off behind the bar to the right to get their orders ready.

"Phwaor! Did you get an eyeful of him? He was nice!" Rin boomed at Sakura who had noticed just how nice looking the waiter was.

"I know! I wouldn't kick him out of bed for anything!" Sakura squeaked back even despite the fact that she could feel Yamato's eyes burning into the back of her head. Hell, there was nothing wrong with looking as long as one knows not to touch. It was only a joke anyway even if the waiter was a little bit on the good looking side.

Kakashi flipped his eye between the two giggling girls until he eventually settled his sights on the woman next to him.

"Uhm ... hello? I _am_ sat right here, Rin..." he muttered dejectedly as he pointed down at himself.

It actually surprised Sakura how open he was being in regards to his feelings towards the pretty brunette, but she surmised she should just learn to except that Kakashi was head over heels for this woman and she had changed him in more ways that she cared to imagine. That and it seemed the ever indifferent copy ninja was actually the jealous type.

"Oh be quiet, _Mister-exotic-tartar-sauce_, you're quite safe," Rin retorted with a wide toothy grin as she patted him lovingly on the shoulder much to Kakashi-sensei's displeasure.

He just shook his head and swilled his glass of water in his hand before muttering, "I swear I will never understand females, if I did that you'd have me castrated."

"Aw, you're not jealous are you, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura interjected with a giggle she couldn't contain. Little did she know it was a fleeting comment that she was about to regret.

He raised his head to look Sakura over with a dark expressionless eye before he answered flatly tilting his glass towards Yamato, "No, not at all, Sakura. But I don't know if the same can be said about lover-boy next to you."

The evil flush that erupted on her face all but burnt the skin right off the bone of her skull. She quickly spun her head from him, to Rin-sensei who was now sitting with her head in the palm of her hand, to Yamato who was staring wide eyed at Kakashi-sensei.

"B-but... how..." Sakura stuttered, not able to piece all of her words together. Surely Rin-sensei wouldn't have said anything, she almost certain she had asked her to keep it to herself. It wasn't that she didn't want Kakashi-sensei to know, but she was just so unsure how he would handle it... but he knew, he had probably known all this time. If that was the case the Rin-sensei had been right all along.

Kakashi didn't answer, he simply picked up his half full glass of water and took a sip closing his eye in the process.

"Real smooth, Kakashi, I mean, _really_..." Rin growled at him as she slowly turned her head towards him.

"Ka-Kakashi-senpai, please let us explain," Yamato interrupted, leaning himself over the table and sounding very apologetic.

Sakura just sat there with her hands between her legs staring at the table feeling hot, bothered and wishing the floor would just open up and swallow her whole. This could not get any more humiliating if she just stripped off her clothes and started dancing on the table.

Kakashi settled his glass of water on the table and raised his hands at both of them in a defensive manner.

"I don't want you to explain anything to me. As team leader all I ask is that your relationship doesn't interfere with our job. The completion of missions is vital, unfortunately the importance of your feelings for each other comes second. Other than that I really don't care what you two get up to behind closed doors. It's nothing to do with me, or anyone else for that matter."

Sakura was stunned to the core, she was so sure Kakashi-sensei would be annoyed with them both not only for sparking up the relationship to begin with but for keeping it to themselves for so long. But he wasn't, not at all which caused her to look up at him with expectant eyes.

"You're not angry with us, Kakashi-sensei?" she asked him meekly which earned her one of those genuine concealed smiles she had only been seeing since Rin-sensei came on the scene. It was the first time he had ever directed such an expression at her which caught her a little off guard. But the look in his lone onyx eye was so thoughtful and genuine, it was almost like she was looking at someone else other than the man who had been her teacher since she was twelve years old.

"I've got nothing to be angry about, Sakura. You've done nothing wrong and life is far too short and precious to be worrying about what other people think," he answered softly and winking at her as if to confirm this piece of information.

"But watching the pair of you dance circles around each other for the past few months has been very entertaining," he quipped with a slight chuckle to his tone that Sakura wasn't sure she liked but refused to acknowledge, the last thing Kakashi-sensei needed was any more encouragement. But even then she felt more than relieved that her former sensei and current team leader was accepting of what was happening between two members of his squad. He would have been on the sticky end of her retaliation if he had objected anyway.

Rin-sensei had not long become an active member of team Kakashi and Sakura had recently learned that she had once been one of his subordinates in a different squad. Yet he showed no shame or embarrassment around them even though it was more than obvious that those two were far more than just friends.

* * *

It had become apparent during their meal that Rin didn't have much of an appetite in spite of her earlier announcement of wanting to consume a _scabby horse_. She had picked and poked at her food and even pushed it around her plate with her chopsticks like a child who didn't want to eat their veggies. She took a couple of mouthfuls but not nearly enough to fill her stomach.

Kakashi had noticed this strange behaviour almost instantly though her continuing interest in the conversations at the table meant that the others didn't. When Sakura and Tenzou were talking amongst themselves he would strain his attention back to Rin hoping to judge her mood if only a little and he found her far too easy to read even for her.

She was hurting, possibly worrying herself about the following day and keeping a lid on her wandering emotions was becoming more difficult for her. The way she sighed and stared with a desirable interest at her uneaten dinner was a huge indication that she wasn't feeling herself. Rin loved her food, always had done so that fact that she wasn't eating what was in front of her was more than a little concerning.

He hadn't wanted to draw attention to it so he hadn't asked if everything was okay, despite him knowing full well it wasn't but he played her little game and acted as ignorant to her as the other two. It wasn't until everyone had finished eating that she excused herself from the table stating she had a headache and was going to have a lie down. Tenzou and Sakura didn't question her motives but Kakashi knew her supposed _headache_ was a ruse just to get away from them and be by herself. He understood that, she felt she needed the space; there was nothing wrong with that.

It hadn't taken long for him to leave the table either mainly assuming that Sakura and Tenzou would appreciate the little snippet of privacy he could offer them, that and Kakashi had a new collection of books to read. Plus there was nothing worse than being the third wheel.

So now he found himself plodding up the stairs at a steady pace with the first of his two new prized possessions in hand his ultimate plan being to simply lie on his bed and just read until the sun came up. If he was completely honest with himself the story wasn't what he had expected. It wasn't about some sexy kunoichi wandering the world and bonking every man she sees in order to gain the information she wanted. It was a story about love, supposed unrequited love at that and it surprised him to find that the way Jiraiya had strung his words together pulled at his heart strings every now and again. He could relate to the poor girl in the story on more than one level and Kakashi never knew he could feel so strongly for a fictional character until now.

But there was something in the back of his mind that was preventing him from enjoying the story to its full potential and he paused as he reached for the handle on his room door. Habitually he turned to face the door next door but one to his. It was closed of course but behind it his closest friend was probably sat in there feeling alone and afraid. There was every chance that she was actually sleeping but somehow he doubted it. He thought at first that maybe Rin wanted to be on her own but something inside of him forced him to snap his book closed and saunter over to Rin and Sakura's door.

He stood there for a moment simply looking at the metallic digits displayed on the wooden panel before he raised a hand to knock and thought against the action. Instead he took a firm hold on the handle twisted, pushed and was mildly surprised to find that the door was actually open.

Allowing himself to enter Kakashi stepped carefully around the door into the artificial light of the room and was first greeted with an icy blast of air making him automatically raise an arm to defend his face against the chill. The huge window behind the two small beds was open and Rin was sat on the ledge, her back to the door with her legs dangling out over the street below. It took a few seconds for her to turn herself around and spot Kakashi stood in her doorway but when she did her eyes lit up as though she was genuinely pleased to see him.

"Yo," he greeted with a salute the relief swelling in his belly that her features were fresh and alert. He had prepared himself for an emotional outburst or at least see her crying but that genuine smile that crossed her lips told him he wouldn't be subjected to such a thing, at least not tonight.

"Are you trying to creep up on me again, Kakashi?" she giggled as she lolled her head back on her shoulders letting her long hair cascade down her back.

Her pose stirred something hot and piercing deep in Kakashi's gut and he silently wished she hadn't just done that. It was at that point that he realised that she had changed out of the clothes she had worn to dinner and was now back in that long purple shirt. She was so undeniably sexy and her suggestive posing and thin clothing wasn't doing him any favours, especially when he was here mainly to check up on her not check her out.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he responded coolly as he stepped further into the chilly room and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing with the window open? It's freezing in here, aren't you cold?" he mused as he meandered towards her squeezing his body past the tiny space between the two beds and leaned on the ledge next to her.

Rin's smile widened a little as she shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention to the world outside. "No, not really. I wanted some fresh air but I didn't feel like walking. Call me lazy if you want, I don't care," she said with a slight hue of amusement to her tone.

Kakashi just chuckled at her response as he took to admiring the view of the glittering window lights that surrounded them. It really was nice here even at night. The surrounding buildings let their lights flood onto the street below giving the strip a glow about it that reminded him a little of Konoha. It was warm, nostalgic and welcoming and it caused him to wonder again why Rin hated this place. She hadn't been herself since she'd stepped foot into the town, though the change in her attitude had been subtle it was still noticeable, to Kakashi anyway. The only thing that bothered him more than anything was her distance; she was usually so open about her feelings so why was she shutting him out?

He found himself wanting to know what had happened, why it affected her so much. Surely the disease she was sent to investigate wasn't enough to make her detest the place as a whole, not a place as beautiful as Machenich. There were far worse villages and cities out there, he should know.

"Is there something you wanted by the way?" Rin questioned eventually catching Kakashi ever so slightly off guard.

He turned towards her and blinked at her stupidly before he answered, "Hm?"

"Well you just came bursting into my room like you own the place. You know, I could have been naked or something," she scolded and Kakashi swore he could see the faint evidence of a flush beginning to dust over the bridge of her nose. Perhaps it was the idea of him walking in on her naked. Though the thought caused that piercing heat to tie tight knots in his lower region again he could see her point even if he didn't sympathise with it. He thought briefly of making her see that catching her with no clothes on would only have positive results but there was a time and a place for all of that, here and now wasn't it.

"Sorry, I was going to knock but I guess I didn't think," he muttered before he began to explain himself, "I came to see if you're okay, no other reason."

He saw her brow knit together before she turned towards him again and eyed him over with a dark shade of curiosity hanging in her eyes. "Why? I told you I had a headache," she retorted. Her tone was harsh and defensive which only served to prove that Kakashi's initial assumption of her reason to leave was actually correct.

"You don't have to lie to me, Rin," he replied softly earning him a dramatic widening of her dark eyes before she quickly spun her head on her shoulders to focus outside once more. Her fingers tightened on the window ledge and he saw her lips twitch as her eyes flitted about in their sockets. Kakashi had hit a raw nerve but by the way she had reacted to his claim it seemed that she didn't particularly want to expose what was troubling her.

"Am I really that easy to read?" she croaked bowing her head her head a little.

An unintentional sigh passed Kakashi's lips as he crossed his arms and turned around in favour of leaning his back against the window ledge. Closing his eyes he thought carefully about what he wanted to say next.

"I wouldn't say you're easy to read, no," he started, hesitating only a little to make sure she fully understood what he'd said. "But I know you, Rin. Maybe better than you know yourself. You didn't eat your meal; in fact you weren't interested in it at all and that's not like you. And you're distant like something's bothering you. You know you can tell me anything, right? That's what I'm here for."

Kakashi turned towards her when she didn't respond. She was just staring out into the night her face expressionless but her eyes were heavy and dull. The cold wind blew in through the window and played her long auburn hair at its whim but she seemed unaffected by the chill even though Kakashi could clearly see the goose-bumps prickling her skin.

Warily he placed a gloved hand over hers feeling her fingers twitch at the contact before he spoke again. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to understand, that's all," he said softly as he smoothed his hand over hers and straightened himself to leave. Kakashi didn't think she would open up but he couldn't shake that thick sensation of rejection as he stepped towards the door. That was until he was stopped in his tracks by Rin's voice.

"Do you believe in God, Kakashi?"

The question made him turn back towards her. It was strange question, strange and oddly personal. It seemed that she questioned his faith in a higher power, either that or she was questioning her own. Either way he wasn't sure how he was supposed answer but figured he should seeing as Rin was now wanting to talk.

"I sometimes visit the shrines I pass by to pay my respects but I can't say I'm a religious person," he replied as honestly as he could shoving his hands into his pockets and wondering what the point to this conversation was going to be.

He heard Rin hum as she lifted her head while drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She sighed as she lowered her head again before she began to speak.

"Me neither," she muttered. "But I used to believe in something, that there was something out there that created everything around us, paved out our futures and made us what we are... but this place made me question that." She sighed again before she continued. "It made me think that everything I ever believed in was wrong, that there is no God or Gods or whatever. No God would create something so beautiful and fragile just to destroy it in such an awful and meaningless way."

It was more than evident that Rin was referring to the _Rot_ she had been sent here to investigate and the countless numbers of people that had died from it. Despite the fact that she hadn't gone into too much detail about what she had actually seen over her ten year stint in Machenich it was clear now that whatever she did see still bothered her greatly.

Kakashi strolled back over to the window and resumed his previous position against the ledge between the two beds. He didn't quite know what to say. It was sad to think that her experiences had caused her to question her faith be that in some deity or herself. Most people believed in something and used that something to guide them through life and force them to survive each passing day, but by what Rin was saying she had lost hers somewhere along the way. She was claiming she had lost it here in this pretty little town.

It was one of those typical questions people asked themselves when they were involved in or witnessed something that was totally out of their control. Even he had done the same in his youth, had found himself praying to these gods and asking them the same questions over and over again:

_Why did you take my mother away from me?_

_Why didn't father love me enough to stay?_

_Why do you keep punishing me?_

_...Why me?_

Although his questions didn't have the same tone to them as Rin's he could appreciate where she stood on the whole matter. He had long found a compromise as to why he was the man he was now and that things happen for a reason even if those reasons are vague and for the most part not understood or resented. As a result he had long given up asking those same questions. Some of them he had answers to others he just had to learn to accept. He thought that maybe sharing his own beliefs with her would help her regain her faith in whatever it was she used to hold so close to her heart.

"I believe we - as people - create our own fate. The decisions we make in life gives us the directions we need to travel and it's those decisions and experiences that mould us into the people we become," Kakashi inputted as he craned his neck to gaze outside. He sensed Rin looking at him which gave him the sizable hint that she was listening.

"I don't know if there's some higher power that created the world, I wasn't brought up to forcibly believe in such a thing and too much water has passed under the bridge now for me to want to think otherwise. But I do have faith in things," he explained somewhat wistfully.

"Like what?" Rin asked softly which forced a smile to tug at the corner of his mouth. He wasn't sure why but her interest made him happy. It was a strange feeling though pleasant, needless to say that he wasn't about to question it.

He sighed as he turned his body to face the window crossing his arms over the ledge he leaned against it and continued to gaze out into the night as he thought about his answer still aware that Rin was looking at him intently. Maybe there was something in particular that she wanted to hear, although he wasn't certain what that something was he would be honest with his answer, he owed her that much.

"I have faith in my village, the Hokage, my student - I mean - my team..." he hesitated again as he shifted his sights to the girl next to him. She was looking at him with a sparkle of interest in her eyes that he found mesmerising until he allowed his eye to drop to her mouth, an area of her face he just couldn't resist anymore. Her lips were parted ever so slightly and he was certain he could see them glistening in the artificial light of the room, inviting him in, begging him to touch them. What he wouldn't give just to touch his own lips on hers right now. Eventually he dragged his focus back to her eyes.

"...I have faith in you, Rin. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for," he finished allowing that slight haze of a smile to twitch further upwards as he witnessed a slight flush of pink surface on her face. She looked away suddenly, seemingly embarrassed by his statement and tucked a stray strand of auburn behind her ear.

"Thank you," she whispered as she chose to look at him out of the corner of her eye and hunched her shoulders ever so slightly.

Kakashi hummed a chuckle at her reaction and nudged her thigh with his elbow. "The important thing is to have faith in yourself. Sometimes that's all you need," he reassured her prompting her to face him again.

"Do _you_ have faith in yourself, Kakashi?"

The question caught him completely off guard. Kakashi hadn't asked her that question directly just merely advised that having faith in one's self could very well be a good thing. But Rin was asking him out right and he had no idea how he was supposed to answer but it seemed his mouth was working faster than his brain this time.

"I have confidence in my abilities," he droned flatly.

"That's not what I asked you..."

He knew the answer to her question but he wasn't certain if he wanted to voice it or whether she would want to hear it. But she was asking which meant she was interested how he viewed himself. He decided to answer eventually though he felt uneasy not knowing how she would react to it.

"It's difficult to hold yourself in such high regard when you've made so many mistakes," he answered dully not daring to make eye contact with her as he spoke. The room dropped colder all of a sudden as he just stood there looking out at the world in front of him thinking about what he'd just said and how stupid he must sound. The statement was shameful and he realised he had completely contradicted himself. Kakashi didn't like the idea of being a hypocrite; he just hoped Rin didn't see it that way. He felt his brow crease together as he felt the embarrassment begin to seep into his skin until the sensation of long slender fingers running though his hair forced him to gaze up at the woman sitting on the window ledge.

Rin looked down at him with a fond yet sympathetic smile her eyes warm and loving as she ran her thumb softly over his scalp.

"All those _mistakes_ have made you the man you are today which means you've learned from them, that's what's important," she soothed before lowering her hand from his hair to his shoulder. "I'll be your faith if you want if you continue to be mine. We're stronger together than apart don't you think?"

They regarded each other for a moment before Kakashi hummed at her and patted the hand on his shoulder with his own. He appreciated her sentiment and he would take it to heart like he did most of the things she said to him recently but the conversation was steering away from its original purpose.

"That's nice, Rin. But this isn't about me. I'm a tough old stick, you know that. I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm okay, Kakashi. Honestly, I'm fine. I don't want you to worry about me," she said reassuringly with a warm smile and a small shake of her head.

It was another lie, but Kakashi let it slide. She wanted him to believe that she was okay and for now he was happy to let her think she had convinced him so he did nothing other than return the smile and nodded to show that he was taking her word for it.

"Okay, I'm actually quite cold now, I'm gonna shut this window," she stated in a voice that was a lot more confident than before as she slapped her hands on the ledge and swung her legs back into the room.

* * *

Rin had to admit that her little talk with Kakashi had made her feel mildly better. She was still apprehensive about the following day but she decided that she was going to face that when she came to it. There was no point in worrying herself over something that wasn't happening yet or she couldn't change. But talking about her lack of faith in herself and her beliefs actually helped even though she didn't think it would.

Kakashi was like her in this aspect, he placed his faith in others as opposed to himself. It was sad to think he didn't think very highly of himself due to past experiences, but she was one to talk on that score. Perhaps it was time to try and gain some of the confidence back that she had lost over the years. It was time to stop blaming themselves for something neither of them had any power over.

The copy ninja had surprised her again tonight; she knew his waters ran deep, deeper than most people thought. Kakashi only showed what he wanted people to see on the surface but he was different with her. He was different all around, if she really thought about it, than what he used to be. Tonight was another one of those instances where she felt he was a whole new person and the feelings she had for him weren't revived from past memories but were being formed from new ones.

He didn't seem to hold things back as much anymore although he had tried to during their last conversation it hadn't taken much to coax him into revealing his true thoughts on things. It made her happy that he felt comfortable revealing such personal truths about himself, it was nice to know that he trusted her with his feelings but it annoyed her that she felt she wasn't able to open up fully to him yet.

It wasn't that she didn't trust Kakashi; she did, with her life. But she was afraid of how he would react if she told him everything that had happened here. The last thing she wanted was for him to resent her for wanting to move on with her life despite how homesick she had been and despite how desperately she still loved and wanted him. Even if she had gone along with what Satoshi-san wanted, what _he_ thought was best for her; she knew her feelings for Kakashi would always be there. That part of her was too old to change and she would have spent the remainder of her life burying her head in the sand pretending that he meant nothing to her.

But her need for routine and that sense of normality had very nearly gotten the better of her. Marrying Satoshi-san was the easy option out of the two that were placed before her at the time. If she had accepted Satoshi-sans proposal four years ago her life would have been very different. She would have made a home in a place she hated, could have had children she didn't truly want and she would now be a widow grieving for a man she didn't really love.

All these images and thoughts had decided to manifest in her mind over dinner and no matter how hard she'd tried to banish them they just wouldn't leave. They made her feel ill, the reason she had excused herself from the dinner table in the first place. Rin had originally thought she had gotten away with it; trust Kakashi to pick up on her mood.

What confused Rin the most, however, was how these images made her feel. She should be thanking her lucky stars that she'd had the strength at the time to turn Satoshi-san down, for following her heart instead of her head, for not settling for second best. If she hadn't she wouldn't even be in the same room as Kakashi right now and he would still be thinking she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. That and she would still be trapped in this godforsaken town. But all she felt was guilt and remorse.

She felt she could have done something more but she didn't know what that something was. The truth was she _wanted_ to love Satoshi-san; she _wanted_ to believe that he could give her everything she ever wanted. But she just didn't, it was just that simple. She didn't love him, not the way he wanted her to and she didn't believe. She couldn't be the person he wanted her to be. Perhaps that was the source of her guilt... That she was right for him, but he was wrong for her.

Allowing her feet to drop to the carpeted floor Rin stood from the ledge just as Kakashi was now meandering towards the door and closed the huge window behind her. He was right, it _was_ freezing but she needed the fresh air, needed that sensation of being able to breathe again, she just didn't want to go wandering the streets on her own. Not that it was particularly dangerous here in Machenich, she just didn't want to be on her own. At least staying in the hotel she knew the others were nearby if she needed them.

Rin continued to look into the night sky through the glass as she made her way down the narrow valley between hers and Sakura's beds when she collided with the large body stood at the foot of them causing her to gasp and reach out in front of her. The first things she managed to grab were either side of Kakashi's waist and she noticed the very obvious jerk in his spine and the little yelp he emitted as her fingers sank into him. It was a noise that she had never heard him make before and which caused her to just stay pressed up against him with her forehead against his collarbone while she tried to figure out if it was Kakashi that had just made that noise or whether it was actually her.

Before she even had the time to piece it all together in her head Kakashi was already wrenching her hands away from him and holding her almost at arm's length. An action that surprised her considering how close they'd become recently. He was acting like he didn't want her to touch him and she was unsure how she should feel about it.

"You really should watch where you're going," he said hurriedly which only served to confuse the matter further.

"Kakashi, what's wrong?" she asked genuinely concerned about his weird behaviour as she limply held up her wrists against his hands.

She watched him blink a couple of times before he looked down at his own hands. His eye widened a fraction as he seemed to realise what he was doing and snatched them away very quickly shoving one in his pocket and using the other to scratch the back of his head.

"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't want you to fall." He stated his voice much calmer and steady than before. Rin wasn't convinced however as she narrowed her eyes at him and looked him over. His stance was off, she couldn't quite put her finger on what was different about the way he stood, but it was different none the less and she had a pretty good idea why. Still she was going to pursue this until she got to the bottom of it because nothing amused her more than getting one up on Hatake Kakashi. He knew pretty much every one of her quirks and weaknesses so it was about time she found one of his.

"Then what was that noise?"

"What noise?"

"That noise you made when I grabbed you."

"I didn't make a noise. I think you're hearing things, Rin."

"So why are you getting all defensive, Kakashi?"

"I'm not."

Rin raised her chin and pouted her lips thoughtfully while she eyed him over curiously as she went to walk past him. She could sense him watching her as she purposely brushed her shoulder against his to get by and sauntered around the other side of her bed.

"Okay, I was hearing things then," she drawled as she waved a dismissive hand above her head and turned her back on him as reached the little wet room on the far side of the room. The further away she was from him the safer he would think he is. There was nothing finer in life than luring a man into a false sense of security.

"Well, if everything's okay I'm going to head off if that's alright with you," he droned his hand already on the handle of the door.

She looked over her shoulder, gave him a convincing smile and nodded once confirming that she was going to allow him to leave. Little did the poor copy ninja know that she had news for him. He opened the door and took a single step forward giving Rin her opportunity to strike now his attention was squared directly at the hallway and not at her due to the door being in the way. She lunged over the bed and jabbed him hard in the same spot on his waist that she had grabbed when she bumped into him.

That very same high pitched yelp erupted from Kakashi's throat as he all but threw his entire body to one side and plastered his back against the wall like someone had just tried to stick him with a sharp weapon. He stared back at her with a comically wide eye and she saw that telltale haze of pink peeking over the hem of his mask.

"Aha! I knew it!" Rin shouted jabbing an accusing finger towards him while pushing the door closed roughly with her other hand. "You're ticklish, aren't you?" She couldn't stop that manic triumphant grin from spreading across her face as Kakashi just gawked at her in horror.

Astonishingly he didn't even try to deny it, he quickly flicked his visible eye towards the door but upon noticing that Rin was blocking his only exit he decided to turn tail and run, not that there was anywhere he could actually go, the room was barely big enough to stand around in. He bolted around the other side of Sakura's bed possibly hoping that Rin would just follow so he could jump over it and make for the door.

Rin however just jumped into the valley between him and the bed to stop him from getting any further. She splayed her hands in front of her like a cat ready pounce on its favourite toy and wiggled her fingers in a tantalising manner.

"Rin, don't..." he growled, his menacing tone only serving to heighten Rin's amusement. As if he thought the tone of his voice would be enough to scare her off.

"You're only prolonging the inevitable, Kakashi. If you surrender now I promise not to torture you for too long," she chortled back as she stepped from side to side in time with the tall Jounin in front of her who looked ready to strike a blow any second.

"No deal," he muttered narrowing his eye at her as he tried again to shuffle to his left only to be followed by his new found enemy.

She figured if she could just jump her way across the bed to his left she would stand a good chance of catching him. She took the chance and jumped up on the soft mattress only to be countered by a much heavier and stronger Kakashi who did the same, grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her around himself and shoved her off the opposite side.

Rin growled in mild frustration as her back collided with the wall behind her and saw Kakashi look over his shoulder at her and wink as if to say _"better luck next time"._

The smug expression she was certain he was hiding behind that mask caused her to lunge for his leg just as he was about to lift it off the mattress. As she landed full force on the soft duvet she clawed at his ankle while she simultaneously battled with the thick sheet that magically wrapped itself around her and obscured her view. She felt her fingers unravel some of Kakashi's bindings until she managed to grab a firm hold on the cuff of his sandal. She managed to peer from beneath her cloth prison just in time to see his foot slip out of his shoe as he tried to twist his body in a bid to see what was stopping him from moving.

"Gotcha!" she cried as she grabbed the same ankle with her other hand and gave it a firm tug causing the copy nin to completely lose his balance and fall into a heap in the valley between the beds with a flailing of both arms, a pathetic cry of surprise and a loud thump.

"Ow..." he groaned as Rin released his foot untangling her legs from the duvet and pulled herself across the mattress so she was between Kakashi's feet that were both resting on the bed. She couldn't contain the loud snort as she tried to suppress the laugh which forced her to slap a hand over her mouth.

Kakashi was just laying there, both legs on the mattress Rin was lying on, his butt on the floor and his back resting against the other bed while he rubbed the back of his head. Somehow he had lost his hitai-ate in the fall which was now lying limply on the frame next to him and his mask had been pulled down to his chin at some point so she could clearly see the painful grimace that pulled at his mouth while he groaned under his breath.

"Are you alright?" she snickered between the gaps in her fingers. She didn't mean to laugh at his pain but just seeing him in a mess on the floor made it so hard to suppress the giggles.

"Yeah, but I whacked my head on the way down," he croaked as he winced up at her but there was the faint beginnings of a smile even as he lowered his hand from his head and checked it over possibly to see if he was bleeding. Thankfully he wasn't but chances were he might have a bit of a headache for a while.

After kicking the duvet from the bed Rin clambered carefully over the body on the floor and stood next to him. She leaned herself over and offered her hands to him to which Kakashi stared at them somewhat worriedly.

"I'm not going to tickle you, Kakashi. And I'm really sorry I made you bump your head. Let me help you up so I can take a look." She was still giggling a little, not just at the guy lying in a heap on the floor but at the situation as a whole. They were no better than children sometimes, it was a wonder the people in the next room weren't banging on the wall and telling them to keep the noise down. Maybe they were complaining about them to the receptionist down stairs. That wouldn't bode well if they were kicked out for being noisy. There were no other hotels in Machenich and sleeping rough wasn't exactly what Rin had in mind.

Kakashi grabbed one of her hands and readjusted himself on the floor so he was able to get to his feet. Rin needn't have bothered offering him the support, it wasn't like he really needed it but she was the one that made him almost split his head open so it was the least she could do.

As soon as he was on his feet Rin guided him to her bed and tugged at his hand to coax him into sitting which he did right way. Once he was seated Rin took hold of his head and pulled him into position while she felt around the back of his scalp for a bump which didn't take too long to find.

"I'm fine, Rin..." Kakashi started before he was interrupted.

"Yes, I know but I want to take away the swelling or it's going to be sore for longer than it needs to be," she droned back as she began to apply healing chakra to the duck egg that was now forming at the base of his skull. The healing took all of a matter of seconds and once she was confident there was no more bump she did one more final check by running her fingers along his scalp once more.

"How does that feel?" she asked allowing Kakashi to sit upright and test the area himself.

"Feels good. Thanks," he replied with one of his trademark eye crease type smiles until he winced at her again. "Please don't tell anyone about this, Rin, it's really embarrassing, you know," Kakashi muttered almost like he feared someone else could hear him speak such profanities about himself.

Rin just giggled at him and the thought of now holding a weapon so powerful that she could reduce the copy nin to nothing more than a messy puddle of giggles if she wanted to. Not that she had any intentions of ever breaching his trust and telling anyone about it. It could be their dirty little secret, but something she could use against him when the occasion called for it.

"Of course I won't tell anyone. But did you know that being ticklish is actually a sign of tension? A good massage can usually help with that," she responded with a warm smile. Though the act of tension relief did dim down the ticklish sensations it didn't get rid of them altogether. But Rin didn't see a point in informing him of that. She kind of liked the idea of Kakashi being a little out of control of his own skin. The thought amused her greatly.

"I don't feel tense," he drawled flatly while habitually rolling both shoulders around in the joints as if to prove it to her.

"Maybe you don't in yourself, but that doesn't mean there isn't some underlying physical stress you're not aware of," she explained before beckoning him towards her with a wave of her hand. "Come on, I'll give you a massage if you want and you'll see what I mean."

He looked at her sceptically his expression suggesting that he didn't quite trust her judgement on the situation as he turned his head slightly to let his one open eye rove over her.

"You can perform massages?" he asked curiously, that one dark eye narrowing a little as he spoke.

"Well, unless you're completely senile – and sometimes I do wonder - then you'll recall that I _am_ a medic nin. I've been training in physiotherapy since I was five so I _think_ I know what I'm doing." Her tone was purposely sarcastic as she shook her head disapprovingly at him but it seemed the spiel worked as he hutched towards her and turned his back on her as she used her hands on his shoulders to guide him into position.

"Whenever I think of the term _massage_ I think of those sauna places you find in the middle of nowhere…" he commented casually as Rin pressed her fingers into his broad shoulders in search for knotted muscle.

"You mean those brothels, don't you," she grumbled flatly noting that Kakashi was indeed quite tense. His subscapularis were harder than they should be. Yes he was toned, muscle built up over time was going to be harder than someone with less physical training as him, he was a shinobi after all, but her fingers and a slight application of chakra revealed that if the tension in his back wasn't relieved soon he could start to have some problems later in his life. She wondered at that point if he suffered from the odd twinge here and there when physically active.

"They're not all brothels…" he muttered eventually in a frail attempt to defend his own dignity. It seemed he knew where this part of the conversation was heading and Rin's curiosity wasn't about to let this go.

"Ah, so you've been to one? How was it? Were the girls pretty?" she asked darkly hoping to make him squirm just a little. She was only playing, why should it bother her what he did in his youth? Most young shinobi liked to spend time in these places; usually it was their first taste of sex so she wouldn't be surprised if Kakashi had been to one of these parlours purely for that reason. It was just something that happened.

"Well, yes I have, but not for sex if that's what you're hinting at. I like the baths in those places. I didn't really take much notice of the staff."

"Yeah, I noticed a couple of them on the way back to Konoha. They're always near hot springs."

"Why pay for heat when you can get it for free?"

Rin hummed at his response. She had no reason not to believe what he said, but when she thought about it, she found she didn't really care about his past as much as she thought she would. Rin was a jealous person, even she knew this, but what was the point in tormenting herself over something that had already happened?

She disregarded the conversation as her focus was drawn back to Kakashi's shoulders as she mentally took note of the area's that needed the most attention. She smiled a little at the thought that she wasn't as gentle as the young girls that worked in the off road parlours. Physiotherapy was worlds apart from the services those places offered. Though it was going to hurt to begin with the long term effects were more than worth it.

She slid her hands down the valley of his spine and absently noticed him stiffen as she worked her way around to his hips. She grimaced when her fingers kept catching in the fabric of his shirt and disrupted her chakra flow making the task harder than it needed to be.

"I need you to take your shirt off," she ordered softly dropping her hands away from him and reaching behind her to a small bag she liked to keep her lady essentials in when she travelled. She sifted through the makeup and tiny perfume bottles hoping he had something greasy she could use on his skin to eliminate any friction and was very please to find a small plastic bottle of hand cream. It wasn't the correct gel she would usually use for such a task but it would provide enough lubricant for her hands to smooth over skin and stop Kakashi from suffering any friction.

"Sorry?" she heard him say as she pulled out the bottle and applied a small amount to her hands and rubbed vigorously to spread it evenly.

"Your shirt, take it off. And your tank as well."

"Why?"

"Because it's disrupting my chakra, I work better with bare skin. Oh, I might need to straddle you while I massage as well because the bed is quite low so you'll need to lie down."

He seemed to think about her last order, his one open eye flicking to the side momentarily before he flicked back to her face with an amused glint and a slight crooked grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Can I lie on my back?"

"How will I massage your back if you're lying on it, stupid?"

"I might have other areas that need more attention than my shoulders."

She stared at him blankly, not wanting to justify his remark with the reaction he was trying to coax out of her as she watched that smirk pull his mouth a little more to one side.

"You're dirty, Kakashi," she responded coolly.

"I'm just saying I might need some physiotherapy elsewhere. I never instigated anything remotely rude. That was all you."

Choosing to stay quiet she merely arched a brow at him as he curled his fingers under the hem of his shirt and began to pull it upwards over his head.

"You can't blame me for trying…" he grumbled as he tossed his shirt to the opposite bed and repeated the action with his tank.

Rin tried her best to divert her eyes away from him as he began to rearrange himself on the bed and lie on his front with his arms folded under his chin and thankfully his actions were quite quick which meant she didn't get a good look at his naked front. It was disappointing but it was just as well. This wasn't for anything other than loosening knots in muscles not for adult situations.

"Okay, are you ready?" she chirped as she stood up at the side of the bed hands poised at the ready.

"Yeah, I'm ready," he drawled as he stared seemingly intently at the door in front of him.

"I'll warn you now, it's going to be a little bit painful to start with but that'll soon pass. I have to get the knots out first, but you might enjoy it after that part's done," she explained as she bent over and started to apply her hands to the skin of his waist and smearing the cream on her hands over his lower back. His skin was so warm under her hands and she could feel the muscles in his lower back twitching as she ran her fingers over them but she put it down to the fact that her hands were actually quite cold.

"I'm sure I can handle it," he chuckled turning his head so the side of his face rested against his arms.

Rin hummed at his response, or course he could handle it, he'd been through the wars more times than she could count, compared to some of the injuries he'd sustained in battle in his lifetime this should be nothing. After a few moments of making sure he was fully relaxed – by the way his eyes were closed she could only assume he was – and the cream was doing the job she had given it she began to apply more pressure, kneading the skin with her fingers over the hardened knots of muscle and pressing harder into Kakashi's back when she came across more stubborn areas.

She noticed the crosshatching of scars running along his back, she would know the stories behind most of them but some looked fresher than others which made her wonder how he got them and what truth lay behind them. Maybe she would ask him one day and they could compare war wounds. Rin had a few of her own that could rival his even as a highly skilled medic nin there were some wounds she just couldn't fully heal. The distinctive scar that ran through Kakashi's left eye was a prime example of that.

She performed her magic from his lower back and gradually worked her way up to his shoulders which was the point where she would have to sit on him to gain better access. That and her back was starting to ache because the bed was too low for this kind of work. She was impressed with her patient though. He didn't wince or complain once. The only movements he made was to move his head from one side to the other in fact by the way his breathing was so regulated Rin assumed he had actually fallen asleep.

"Are you awake?" she asked a little quieter than she intended but was relieved when he answered her straight away.

"Yes," he replied simply.

"Good because I need to sit on you now. I'm not heavy though..." she started to explain before Kakashi interrupted her in the same flat voice as before.

"Go for it."

Grabbing the cream from the end-table she lifted her shirt a little above the knee and stepped over the man on her bed before she carefully lowered herself so she was sat right at the base of his back. She felt herself blush at the thought that she was very nearly sat right on his butt and the only thing separating his flesh from hers were the black shorts she wore beneath her shirt but she shooed the idea away to the back of her mind with a stern shake of her head. She was sure it would be back to haunt her later.

"Behave yourself, Rin," she whispered to herself not that a self scolding was going to her any favours in the slightest, trying to act professional around this man was harder than she first thought it would be. Especially now her legs were all but wrapped around his midriff.

Rin applied more cream to her hands and began going through the same motions she had used for his lower back on the rounds of his shoulders and she was certain she heard him moan when she began to apply more pressure. Was he enjoying this _that_ much? That noise did _not_ sound like one of discomfort that was for certain. The sound made her pause if only for a second and thought that maybe an innocent conversation would help ease that boiling heat she could feel stirring in the pit of her stomach. She feared she might break if she heard him moan like that again.

"So, Kakashi, have you started reading those books I gave you yet?" she asked with a smile as she thought back to the way he had reacted when she handed the little blue novels to him.

"I'm about half way through the first one," he replied his voice more of a sigh than anything else.

"What, already?"

"I'm a quick reader."

"Well, I guess you've had plenty of practice, right?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

The room dropped silent again as Rin found a particularly hard spot in the centre of Kakashi's left shoulder and poured her concentration and chakra into pushing it out with both of her thumbs. Again, it was an action that would make even the strongest men wince but he didn't even move. He just lay there with his head resting on his folded arms seemingly contented with his eyes closed as she rotated her digits over the hard knot enough to make the skin beneath turn red. Either he didn't feel the pain at all or he was just really good at hiding it.

Once she was satisfied that the lump had been dealt with she resumed with the just rubbing the balls of her hands over his shoulder blades up towards his neck and then back again. If she was completely honest, she was quite enjoying this herself. Just spending time with Kakashi was enough on its own anyway but she quite liked the idea of making feel good with a simple massage even though she was more than aware of the many other ways she could make him feel good...

"What's the book about anyway?" she asked eventually not content with the silence and wanting to distract her mind from the erotic thoughts that were invading her brain and telling her to do things she knew she probably shouldn't.

"You had them all that time and you didn't read them?" he mused back sounding rather surprised at the fact that she was asking at all.

"Well, no. I've only read the first two of the main series and I wasn't sure if they carried on from those stories and I didn't want to ruin it for myself, you know?"

"This story is independent from the others. The only reason they're called Icha Icha is because the main character in Diversions makes an appearance in Icha Icha Violence a couple of times. Call them a spin off series, if you will."

"Oh, so what's it about?"

"A girl."

"Okay... and...?"

"Her name's Yuki. At the start of the book she's just waking up from a coma, I haven't gotten to the part that tells you why she was in the coma yet. But she's in love with a man who doesn't return her feelings."

"Oh, that sounds pretty sad."

"It is."

At that point Kakashi decided to prop himself up on his arms forcing Rin to stop her massage altogether and just sit there on the small of his back. She thought about moving but Kakashi was making no motions about wanting to turn over so she stayed put.

"It's actually a bit strange if I'm honest because the story describes how this girl feels like she's still in the dream she was having when she was in the coma. Sometimes it even suggests that she's still out cold so at this point I'm not sure if the character is still dreaming or not. But I can relate to what she's going through because I've had that feeling before," he explained with a hue to his voice that Rin wasn't sure she liked. It was difficult to recognise because he had never spoken to her like this before. That and he was being so open without being asked or coaxed into talking which was more than a little surprising, but she still found herself wanting him to continue.

"What do you mean? That you've felt like you're still dreaming when you're awake or you've been in a coma?"

"Both."

Rin was a little taken aback by his admission. She never knew he'd been in a coma for any length of time. The mere thought that Kakashi had been through something awful enough to place him in a state of prolonged unconsciousness made her chest ache. She'd seen plenty of patients in such a state and usually those people never woke up. But most of all she just felt guilty for not knowing and for not being there for him at the time.

"When was the last time you felt like this," She asked feeling more concerned that what he was telling her actually bothered him although she wasn't certain if it did or not.

"Well, when you came back to Konoha, if you must know." She heard him hum a chuckle before he continued. "Sometimes, when you were staying at my place I'd wake up on the sofa and not know where I was. Then after a few minutes I'd remember and I'd have to lie there awake for a while to try and make sure that I wasn't dreaming, although there were days when I wasn't too sure."

Rin didn't know what to say to that. Was he seriously suggesting that he'd dreamt about her and this situation when in this coma of his? Was he actually questioning if he was even awake now? She just sat there unsure of how she was supposed to respond to something so heartbreaking.

"But I guess that sounds dumb, ne?" he chuckled eventually when she didn't answer tensing his shoulders ready to drop him back to the bed but Rin prevented him from doing so as she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard him grunt in surprise when she buried her face in his hair.

"No... no it's not dumb, Kakashi. It's not dumb."

He didn't respond but he craned his neck to try and look at her which prompted her to adjust herself to make his task easier.

When their eyes connected Rin was surprised to find that there was no lingering hue of sadness in his expression like she'd expected to see but he looked hopeful, like he was waiting for something so she took that as an opportunity to give him just a little confirmation.

"You're not dreaming, Kakashi. I can promise you that," she whispered giving him a small smile as she brushed a stray strand of silver out of his eye.

"Well, I can tell you now, that if I _was _dreaming..." he hesitated and he swallowed hard before he continued, "...If I was I don't think I'd want to wake up this time."

She shook her head at him before placing her forehead on his. "You shouldn't say things like that," she scolded lightly. But she understood what he meant, that he would rather stay in a dream with her than wake up and face the _real world_. Rin had lost count of the amount of times she wished she could just remain in a dream, to not wake up and face herself in the mirror, her reality and the crushing loneliness. Fortunately for both of them this was the real world and she'd never appreciated existing in it like she did right now.

They regarded each other for a few moments while Rin continued to brush the hair from Kakashi's face needlessly seeing as all it did was fall back into place each time.

"Kiss me?" he whispered suddenly turning himself slightly to one side which in turn caused Rin to slide off his back completely and onto the bed next to him.

She didn't hesitate and she certainly didn't need asking twice as she pulled herself closer lifting her chin so she could reach him before she kissed him softly on the mouth feeling his lips purse against hers. She allowed herself to linger just to enjoy his pressure against her before she began to pull away, that was until he raised his hand and used his fingers under her chin to bring her back to him.

"Kiss me again." His voice was merely a breath as he applied his lips to hers though a little firmer this time. She felt his mouth part slightly and the inquisitive tap of his tongue on her lips as though asking to be invited in. The heat in the pit of her stomach began to sink deeper and she felt it pool between her legs as she opened her mouth against his and relished the way his tongue tasted against hers. He tasted so damn good but it wasn't enough, she wanted more.

She shifted herself planting a hand on his shoulder and forced him to roll back and she could feel his other hand now fumbling with the top buttons of her shirt. The kiss was becoming more desperate as the already searing heat between them continued to get hotter. She heard him moan into her mouth a very similar sound to the one he made while she massaged his back. Hearing him moan in pleasure was just so damn sexy she couldn't contain herself for much longer if he carried on like that.

Kakashi had managed to undo the top two buttons of her shirt when they both heard an audible click and someone stepped into the room forcing them both to crane their eyes in that general direction though their mouths were still connected each one of them reluctant to let go until a familiar girl stepped into the light and looked straight at them as they lay there paused in shock.

"Ah! Oh my god!" came the shrill cry of Sakura who was now shielding her eyes from them as the pair tore away from each other while Kakashi jolted from the bed and made a desperate grab for his tank.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I... I didn't mean... I'm so sorry! J-just ... just let me get my things and I'll go," she stuttered just before she scrabbled to the floor to collect her pack from the foot of her bed.

"No, Sakura, listen it wasn't..." Rin started unable to finish as the young girl rushed past her and through the door. "Sakura, wait, just let me explain..."

The young and seemingly humiliated girl spun around in the doorway clutching her pack to her chest like her life depended on it. Her face was crimson probably from seeing her former sensei in a situation she had probably never seen him in before. "No, no, it's okay, Rin-sensei. I mean me and Yamato were going to ask if we could swap rooms anyway but you and Kakashi-sensei..." Sakura took one look at the silver haired Jounin - who was now stood in the doorway just looking back at her as expressionless as ever like nothing had happened - and dropped her gaze to her feet as her already red face seemed to take on a darker shade.

"I'm so sorry for interrupting," she muttered sounding more shameful this time.

Did Rin just hear her right? "What? What do you mean, _swapping rooms_?" she questioned hurriedly as she made for the door herself. By the time she had poked her head out of the doorway she could already see Yamato tossing a large green pack to Sakura who caught with the littlest of effort before handing it to Rin so briskly she had no choice but to reach up and catch it before the candy topped medic dropped it on the floor.

Rin just looked on bewildered and not quite understanding what was going on as Sakura mouthed the words _'Thank You'_ at her and quickly scurried off into the other room and both her and Yamato disappeared behind the door and slammed it behind them.

Both Rin and Kakashi stood there just gazing into the now empty hallway until Kakashi eventually broke the silence. "Well, that wasn't awkward at all," he drawled.

"What just happened?" Rin asked genuinely bewildered by the whole situation as she turned to face him still holding onto the green pack Sakura had handed her.

She saw Kakashi's eye's crease a little at the corners which suggested that he was grinning behind the mask he now wore as he reached out and grabbed the top handle of the pack and gently took it from her.

"It looks to me like I've just been evicted," he chuckled, turning into the room and tossing the pack onto the bed Rin had messed up earlier which had originally been Sakura's bed.

Rin sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as the humiliation of what had just taken place began to sink in. It was just as well that the young girl had walked in on them when she did. Rin had promised herself not to get carried away while on this mission and were it not for her she could very well have ended up sleeping with Kakashi and regretting it later.

She loved him, and she wanted him more than anything but she wanted her first time to be special, not tainted by bad memories. So she guessed this was a blessing in disguise. Needless to say that their mood for something sensual had been thrown straight out of the window.

Kakashi strolled out of the door and into the hallway as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to get a drink from the bar. Do you want anything?" he asked as he shifted his weight onto one foot.

"Some cyanide pills if they've got them. If not then just a coffee, please," she responded with a slight giggle to her tone.

"Got it," he replied with that understanding yet hidden smile before he turned on his heel and navigated himself towards the stairs. It seemed that he felt the same way as she did. He knew she wasn't herself and she was pretty certain the last thing he would want to do was take advantage of that. Not that she would have held it against him if something did happen tonight. It did take two to tango after all.

Rin closed the door behind her as she re-entered the room and rested the back of her head against it. She felt more relived now that Sakura had interrupted them than embarrassed, but now she just worried what her perception of her old eccentric sensei was. She just hoped this wouldn't make things awkward for the next day. Rin was dreading it but she needed to remain focused on what she needed to do and a strained atmosphere was the last thing she needed. But for now she would settle with a cup of coffee and maybe one of the books she had brought along.

The less she thought about it all the better.


	15. Angel's

Warnings: Scenes of horror and gore at the beginning of this chapter. Also there's some rather saucy naughtiness too. Don't say I didn't warn you, lol.

So, this will be the last update for Crossing Rubicon's here on . I've posted this one because I'm hella naughty and thought I should go out with a bang, ne? Lol. Anyway, enjoy the smut and if you're interested in still following this story then please contact me and I can direct you to the new site I've chosen to host it. See you later peepz, It's been fun and I'll miss you and your wonderful reviews T_T xxx

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**Crossing Rubicon's**

**Angel's**

_The corridor was dark and endless, the echoes of her heels clipping the floor bounced around the walls as Rin made her way by the never ending row of dimly lit glass doors. She could hear the moans and cries of agony from within as she passed each one. The shadows of the people trapped in their clinical prisons threw themselves at the glass begging her to save them from a fate worse than death, demanding release from the torture they suffered. _

_Pulling her long white coat around her chest in a bid to shield herself from their pleas Rin marched on knowing she couldn't help them but still felt that nauseating wad of guilt begin to grow and breed in her stomach. She couldn't lie to them anymore; she couldn't stomach the look of hope on their faces when she told them they were going to be okay. She couldn't cope with the glares of hatred from their families when they knew she was lying. She could no longer stand the thought that this place was driving her slowly insane. If she had to watch one more person slowly die she would shatter. All she could do was keep walking._

_She continued her journey down the long dark corridor, a flickering light in the distance for which she was heading never getting brighter making it seem she wasn't getting any closer to her exit until she reached a door to her right that was open. She paused before it simply looking at how the light poured out of the opening and spread along the dirty floor like spilled sewage. Tiny dust particles danced like gnats in the filthy glow which drew her eyes to the room within and enticed her to enter against her will. _

_The room was barely lit with a single fading bulb that hung low from the water stained ceiling like a dying candle, its waning light shining down on a bed in the centre of the shadow cloaked area. Its frame was rusted and brittle and the mattress worn flat and soiled. She noted a nostalgic scent of wild trees in the air mingled with the sickly sweet stench of fresh blood as she noticed the cloth draped over the top of the bed completely shrouding what could only be a body beneath it. _

_Rin stepped towards it, once, twice, three times. The motion of her legs was slow and sluggish like she was walking through treacle. Eventually she reached the side of the bed, that overpowering smell of blood and woodland invading her nostrils as she took the clipboard from its holder attached to the frame. The message it held was mostly garbled and illegible but a name stood out from the centre of the nonsensical symbols: _Tanokai Satoshi.

_She stood and stared at the name on the board for what felt like an eternity feeling the sorrow swell in her throat until she allowed her eyes to drift back to the cloth that covered the corpse lying on its disgusting rusty bed. She lowered the clipboard to her side as she dared to reach for the tarp corner closest to the head of the corpse with her free hand. Twining her fingers into the stained damp fabric she swept it back with a force so strong she could feel the draft from it on her legs as it fell to the floor, but nothing prepared her for the horror of what she saw lying on that bed. _

_It wasn't the man whose name was displayed on the board. With his body wasted away to nothing but skin and bone, the flesh on his face plagued with horrific sores and decayed to the point where she could see teeth through the skin of his cheek. His clothes were torn and so filthy they looked melted onto him. That one onyx eye staring wide and lifeless into the light of the fading bulb the other a deep shaft sunk into the back of his skull where his ultimate weapon used to be and that shock of silver hair matted with congealed blood and dirt. It was Kakashi lying on that soiled decrepit bed, lying there – dead. _

_The grief swept over her like a tsunami, the raw power of her sorrow had no words to describe it as she just stood there and took in what she saw, her own will to live suddenly becoming meaningless. She felt the air leave her lungs as she went to step back but she couldn't move. Her entire body was frozen, her feet rooted to the spot where she stood and her sights trained on that dark cold dead eye willing him to breathe to take just one life giving breath yet knowing he couldn't. She didn't want to see any more, she didn't want to see the lifeless afflicted body of her soul mate laying there like a piece of rotten meat on a butchers slab but she couldn't look away, her body wouldn't let her. _

_She couldn't breathe; she could hear herself struggling for air as the atmosphere in the room became dense and stifling causing the panic to froth into her gullet as the room seemed to close in around her. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, didn't _want_ to believe it and she raised her arm to lift the clipboard back to her eyes to make sure that this wasn't some kind of mistake, that it was definitely a different name on the board to the man that was lying in front of her. _

_Rin lowered her head to discover that she was no longer holding the clipboard but in one hand she held a bloodied scalpel and in the other a human eye. She recognised the fleshy sphere immediately as she gingerly turned her hand over feeling the optic nerve that sprouted from the eye slip through the gaps in her fingers. The iris was deep red in colour with two distinctive tomoe embedded in that ring of fire near the pupil. _

_Her hands were shaking and dripping with the blood of whom she wasn't sure as she stared down at the glassy orb knowing what she had to do but dreading the means of having to do it. She noticed then her once pristine white medical coat was now splattered with the same congealing substance as that on her hands. She could feel it soaked through her clothes making them stick to her skin, making her body itch and she could feel it dripping from her onto her feet. _

_Was it her blood? Was it Kakashi's? She didn't know and all her ignorance did was force the fear to swill in the pit of her gut making her feel sick. She wanted to get out of here, to just turn on her heel and run as fast as she could until when she didn't care but her feet didn't belong to her anymore, just lead weights attached to the ends of her legs. _

_Suddenly the bulb hanging from the ceiling pulsated throwing painfully bright light into the room and Rin discovered that she wasn't standing in a room at all; she was in a cave, the space made much smaller and cramped than she first thought by the enormous rocks that surrounded her. Rin heard herself whimper as she looked around herself wanting to be anywhere but here and suddenly feeling very small, powerless and like an important part of her had just that second withered and died when she saw the body on the rusted bed stir. Her head pivoted on her neck to see Kakashi still lying on the dirty mattress in the state he was in before but very much alive. _

_He was crying. The proof lying not only in the tears that left clean streaks running down his decayed cheek and the agony displayed by the grimace on his face but by the choking sobs that wracked his entire body and caused him to drag the air back into his lungs in quick whooping and desperate gasps._

"_Please," she heard herself beg in a voice that didn't sound like her own as she lifted the two objects in her blood drenched hands and offered them to the man on the bed. "Please, don't make me do this."_

_Kakashi ignored her, either that or he hadn't heard her over the sound of his own painful cries. Rin could do nothing but stand and watch as Kakashi raised both arms from his sides pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes and emitted a blood curdling scream. The force of it was so powerful it caused him to arch his back off the bed and it was so loud and piercing it stung Rin's ears forcing her to flinch against it as she felt shards of ice plunge into her veins. He didn't stop for air as he slammed his fists back into the bed which made a sound similar to a door swinging shut when caught in a breeze before everything within sight blurred into a brilliant white-_

The explosive noise in her head caused Rin to jolt awake, her entire body jerking from the bed as though an electric current surged through her. Her eyes sprang open so wide it was painful before bolting upright and dragging in a loud and deep whooping breath like she had just surfaced from the depths of a very deep lake.

She sat there gasping for air, able to feel her own heart pulsating painfully in her chest as droplets from the cold sweat coursed over her neck and down her back. The dream was still vividly fresh in her mind and the first thing she did was drag her arms out of the duvet and hold them in front of her eyes looking for the blood she had seen only seconds ago. Her entire body shook terribly and her fingers twitched with frayed nerves as she examined them closely in the dim light turning them over twice and noticing the sheen of perspiration on her skin.

Upon discovering no blood or scalpel or anything else for that matter and realising that she was actually in a warm soft bed in a hotel room Rin lowered her hands back to the sheets and sighed in relief before allowing her shoulders to slump her body forward.

"Oh my god," she panted her voice nothing more than a quivering breath as she dragged her shaken fingers through her sweat drenched hair. "It was just a dream, it was just a dream." She repeated those words silently to herself a few more times trying to convince her body to calm down but not succeeding right away. She was still trying to catch her breath, her heart was still hammering so hard in her chest she could feel each pulse in her head and the sweat that clung to her skin was beginning to make her shiver even more so than she already was.

She hadn't had a nightmare that graphically detailed and terrifying for months and she found herself feeling angry that she was starting to have them again. It was this place; this disgusting little village was at fault. She had left hoping she never had to set foot in the place again and here she was right back where she'd started ten years ago. She hated it here, hated the way it made her feel, hated how it brought out the worst in her and how all those awful memories she had managed to keep stored in the back of her head were coming back to haunt her.

Every time she closed her eyes she could still see the image of the rusted bed in the dark room and the odd flash of the man she loved lying dead at its centre. She gave up trying to screw her eyes shut and concentrating in a bid to banish it, this was one of those dreams that would stay with her for a while, she just knew it.

The dreams she'd had before were very similar this latest one, usually focusing around a hospital or some other kind of clinical area but always around people dying or already dead from the _Rot_, but never had she dreamt of Kakashi in such way. She could still see him in her mind, his poor body withered and brittle and his once handsome face completely destroyed by disease_, _that expressionless lifeless dark eye and his horrendous gut wrenching scream before she woke.

It hurt her despite knowing it was just a dream, that it wasn't real and he had no chance of catching the infection in the first place thanks to the shot, but it hurt her to think of him in such a horrible and irreparable state. It made her wonder why her own mind would want to put him in such a situation. Why would her own imagination betray her like that?

She was also disturbed by the fact that the operation she had performed on him to replace his once damaged eye all those years ago was touched upon in the dream. It had been years since she had even thought about it. Rin knew there was a meaning behind it, her brain was trying to tell her something important but she was far too upset to focus on what the message was meant to be. All she wanted to do right now was forget about it and she hoped the memory would ebb away much like the others did but it seemed a long time coming.

Her breath hitched as she tried desperately to fight back the tears planting a hand over her eyes and rubbing them hard with her thumb and forefinger. It was always the same when she woke up from these things, but she managed to choke down the sob threatening to leave her throat as she placed a shaky hand over her mouth. She sat herself upright eventually lowering her arms back to the bed and taking in another deep lungful of air through her nose and blowing it out slowly out of her mouth. The technique did the trick and seemed to still her nerves but she repeated the action just one more time to make sure. It was at that point that she remembered that she wasn't in the room alone.

Rin caught her breath knowing that she was stupid for even thinking it but she felt quite scared to look at Kakashi at that moment, scared that if she saw him now she would see him in the same mess as he was in her dream. Slowly she dared to turn her head peeking through the long tousled strands of her hair that had fallen from the ribbon used to tie it back and couldn't help the smile that pulled at each corner of her mouth as she released the air stored in her lungs. What she saw was a very different picture to the one she had seen in her head, very different and very beautiful.

Kakashi was fast asleep in the bed next to her the sheets ruffled around his bent knees as it seemed he had tried to kick them off himself at some point during the night. He was fully clothed in his usual tank top though with the mask pulled down around his neck and a pair of lighter blue shorts that she didn't remember him changing into. He lay on his back, his head turned slightly towards her with one arm draped over his stomach which still held onto a distinctive blue book - his thumb marking the page he had supposedly gotten too before he'd nodded off - while the other arm hung limply towards the floor. His breathing deep and regulated, the rise and fall of his chest was mesmerizing and Rin could hear him snoring lightly.

Her smile twitched upwards a little. Maybe she would tell him that he was a snorer and see if he tried to deny it someday. Or maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she would keep this little memory to herself and just sit here on her bed admiring how breathtaking he was even while he slept with his body resembling that of a ragdoll. Maybe one day she would be waking up to that sight in her own bed at home in Konoha, one could only hope.

She sat and gazed at him for a while noting how relaxed he looked, how his lips were parted ever so slightly and how one side of his face was pushed up a little against the pillow his head rested on causing his eyelids on that side to crease upwards slightly. His hair was tousled and messy like he'd been fidgeting for most of the night and stray silver strands hung over his brow in thin wisps.

He looked adorable, so vulnerable yet peaceful as he just lay there and breathed deeply in his sleep. Rin wondered if he was dreaming and was granted an answer by the slight twitch of a silver eyebrow coupled with a deep quivering sigh. She hoped it was a nice dream he was having and she could feel the fright in her stomach left behind from her own begin to dissipate as she hummed a quiet chuckle at the sight of him. Rin was just thankful that she hadn't woke him up when she'd all but lurched out of her bed.

Turning away her eyes spotted something distinctive and purple in a heap on the floor. She looked at it for a few seconds until she recognised it as her long purple sleep shirt. Rin was certain she went to bed wearing it the night previous and in a mild state of confusion she lifted the duvet from her body and gave herself an inspection under the sheets as if trying to confirm that she was in fact still wearing it.

She wasn't of course, the only explanation for that being that she had taken it off in her sleep. Rin was completely naked underneath the sheets and she felt her eyes widen at the realisation that for the past five minutes or so she'd been staring at Kakashi her boobs had been on show for all to see. Not that there was anyone else in the room but that was beside the point. She slapped the duvet back to her chest, clamping her legs closed as she looked towards the man in the other bed again.

He was in the exact same position he was in before and Rin was certain that he wasn't feigning sleep. She wasn't sure how she knew this, Kakashi had tricked her with such things before but she was positive that he wasn't pretending this time. How embarrassing that would have been to wake him up almost screaming struggling to breathe with her tits exposed and dangling in front of her like a couple of heavy shopping bags. If Kakashi had seen that he would never let her live it down.

She groaned inwardly at the image but was just thankful that it hadn't happened. Eventually once she had gotten over the fact that the copy nin _could_ have seen her naked chest, she gingerly reached for the purple shirt on the floor and quickly pulled it over her head patting down the creases as she went and making sure she pulled the hem under her butt.

The faint stream of light that shone through the gap in the curtains suggested that the sun was rising so it was still quite early. A quick glance at the watch on her wrist told her it was merely five thirty in the morning. The group wasn't due to go to the hospital until two that afternoon but she didn't much feel like sleeping now just to pass the time until breakfast.

Throwing back the covers Rin swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got to her feet before warily stepping over to the window. She carefully pulled back the curtain just enough for her to peer outside to gauge the weather. It looked set to be a nice day.

The sun was just cresting over the horizon but its light was already beginning to shine into the day. Long early morning shadows were cast onto the street by the throng of buildings on the other side of the strip and pretty little birds sang their pretty little tunes in the tree tops that lined the pavement but the village was still very much asleep.

Rin leaned against the windows edge and sighed to herself. What was she going to do with herself at this hour? She was too alert to simply go back to sleep now, there were no shops open yet so there was no point in venturing out if there was nowhere to go and she wasn't in the mood for reading. The book she had brought for herself was a horror story and considering the horrible nightmare she'd not long woken from she didn't much feel like submerging herself back into it.

She knew the hotel had a self service coffee and tea station down in the foyer and a garden that was open to guests at all hours. Maybe she should just go make herself a drink and sit outside for a while and watch the sunrise. She would have to shower first to wash the remnants of sweat from her body before she started to stink but all in all it sounded like a good plan. It would be a good method to forget the way in which she was woken up anyway.

Stepping away from the window Rin habitually eyed over Kakashi's sleeping form once more. He still hadn't moved and he was still snoring but her eyes were drawn specifically to the book in his hand with the thumb supposedly marking the page he was currently reading. If he was to turn over on to his side he was either going to drop it in the floor or crush it beneath him. Neither action had a good outcome for the poor book, it would likely get damaged either way so Rin took it upon herself to take it from him and place it somewhere a little safer.

Carefully and as gently as she could, Rin pushed her thumb in between the pages of the book that Kakashi was holding with his own before slowly slipping the blue novel from his barely gripped fingers biting her tongue as she went as though the action would keep her hand steady. The book slid away easy enough and the copy nin didn't even stir which Rin thought was highly unusual for him. Kakashi was usually a very light sleeper; it never took much to wake him up, this morning being the only exception to the rule. Maybe he had been really tired last night not that she'd taken much notice.

Rin held the little book in her hands, her thumb keeping the marked pages apart while she looked around herself for something small and flat to use as a bookmark, the last thing she wanted was to lose his place. No such luck. She sighed irritably until she remembered the red ribbon she used to tie her hair back for bed the night before. Raising her free hand she tugged the long silken strip from the back of her head and used the same hand to ruffle her hair allowing it to fall about her shoulders in long messy strands. She opened the book on her thumb marked page which was a good three-quarters of the way into the story by the looks of it and carefully placed the flat piece of fabric in the hinge before closing it in her hands.

She spied the end table on the other side of his bed and decided that was the best place to put it for now. He would see it there straight away when he woke up as opposed to placing it on the floor where he could possibly plant his huge feet on it, slip and break his neck.

More out laziness than anything else Rin gently placed a hand on the mattress at the side of Kakashi's body and leaned herself over reaching for the little end table on the other side with the book. She could have just walked around the bed but her brain was still waking up and not functioning on all cylinders yet for whatever reason she had surmised that clambering over the copy nin while trying not to wake him was the easiest way to get the job done. How very wrong she was.

She couldn't quite reach and she grunted in frustration at having to change her angle. She lifted her leg and gently placed her knee on the edge of the bed not realising at first that her breasts were hanging mere millimetres away from her roommate's face. She felt Kakashi's body dip into the mattress with her weight suddenly which caused him to groan sleepily and begin to stir.

'_Oh no! I've woke him up and the first thing he's going to see are my boobs in his eyes!' _her mind squealed forcing her to freeze with her arm outstretched as she felt him begin to turn over beneath her. But astonishingly he didn't wake up. Instead he just rolled over onto his side with a sigh while the arm that had been hanging on the bed draped itself around her waist. His hand settled on the round of her hip and she could feel his thumb rubbing random circles in the fabric of her shirt.

He was still asleep but it seemed his body was lucid enough to know what he was doing, either that or his dream involved touching something or someone the way he was touching her right now. Maybe he was dreaming about her about all the wonderful and erotic things he'd like to do to her in his bed, _what she wanted him to do to her in his bed_. She felt her body shiver under his hand and managed to swallow the moan that was about to pass her lips at the thought but the horror of what had just happened still managed to spill into her stomach.

Had Kakashi's arm been a fraction to the left when he lifted it his hand would have disappeared right up her shirt and she wasn't wearing any panties. She would have screamed, he would have woken up wanting to know why she was shouting and leaning over his bed with her breasts in his face and his hand on her naked ass and she would have lost the power to speak. That could have been very awkward for both of them or it could have led to something amazing but Rin didn't know if she wanted to risk finding out which one it could have been.

Eventually she tried again, doing her best to ignore his hand on her hip and the white hot fire his touch spread throughout her body as she managed to just plant the corner of the book on the table and push the rest of it on with the tips of her fingers. Why didn't she just go the long way around the bed like a normal person? The answer to that one was simple; she was a complete moron first thing in the morning, end of story.

Now to try and remove herself from Kakashi's arm without disturbing him, what a wonderfully fine mess she had got herself into. Rin drew her lower lip into her mouth as though this would help her concentration as she carefully wrapped her fingers around the assaulting wrist and lifted his arm over her head. Not once did she lift her eyes from Kakashi whose face was now buried in the pillow as he snored into it a little louder than before. Clenching her jaw and supporting his upper arm with her other hand she slowly lowered the limb to rest his hand on his opposite shoulder. Once settled she released him and backed herself away towards her own bed.

That was close - too close - though the temptation to climb into bed with him and have him just hold her was a difficult one to ignore. She doubted very much he would protest but it would do very little for the focus she had promised herself she was going to maintain today of all days.

Sighing in a mixture of relief and mild disappointment that Kakashi hadn't fought against her and coaxed her into his bed, Rin crouched before her pack and pulled out a small bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap before standing back up and venturing towards the little wet room. Not only did she feel the desperate need to be clean and wash the remaining memories of her dreadful dream down the drain but that intense heat that was now pooling between her legs thanks to her roommate would need some special treatment too. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing at this moment in time, perhaps her shower should be a cold one.

* * *

The morning was bright already filling the day with glorious colour and the sun's rays were warm against her skin as Rin sat on the wooden bench in the pretty little garden at the side of the restaurant. No one had been around when she'd first made her way into the foyer after changing into some more practical clothes but she was glad to see that the self service coffee and tea station was still there on the bar. It had been a few years since she had stayed in the hotel herself. During her stint in Machenich it worked out much cheaper to rent a room within the hospital rather than pay out to stay here so she was glad to see that not a lot about the place had changed.

That was probably another reason why she was dreading her visit to the hospital complex. The place was like a prison to her, if she wasn't working within the building she was in her cramped little bedsit in the same campus. There was a fine line between the way she'd lived back then and being a total hermit. The only times she ventured out was when her superior, Doctor Kenshin, felt generous enough to allow her a day off, those were very few and far between and even then she'd had to beg for them. Rin felt her mouth twist in distaste when she thought of that horrible twisted little man. She hoped she wouldn't have to speak to him today. That would just be the last straw on the camels back if she was subjected to his vicious mouth again.

She lowered her eyes back to the small ledger she'd found in her pack before she left hers and Kakashi's room and continued to scribble down the remnants of the memory her latest dream had left behind. The more she had thought about it while in the shower the more she was convinced that it meant something other than to just upset her. There was a reason why Satoshi-san's name had been on that clipboard but it had been Kakashi's body on the bed and there was a reason why the latter had been so distraught towards the end. She had seen Kakashi suffer from certain emotional trauma's before but she had never _ever_ seen him in so distressed like she had done in the dream and it troubled her greatly as to why he was portrayed in such a way. Maybe it wasn't him at all...

Also the fact that Obito's eye and the cave during _that incident_ were in there meant something too. Rin didn't usually look so far into these sorts of things, dreams were normally a bunch of memories smooshed together to try and help the mind resolve and make sense of things that happened in the day. But this dream was different, it wasn't totally derived from memories and she wanted to know why.

Though the dream still troubled her it was no longer as terrifying as when she had first woke up. She knew she wouldn't forget it straight away but she was now determined to find out its meaning. Maybe if she did that and faced whatever the dream was telling her to do then that would be the end of them. She wasn't sure if she could deal with having anymore of these nightmares and she really didn't want to visit a sleep therapist to resolve the issue but if they continued then she would have no choice. For now she was going to try and deal with this the best she could on her own despite the fact that she still couldn't find any clues into her search for a reason why she was having them in the first place.

Once she was satisfied that all the important information she could recall from the nightmare was down on paper she closed the ledger on her lap and took another look at her watch: eight twenty five. Wow, she'd been outside for a long time. Time flies when you're having fun, as they say.

It was then that she noticed the hum of people behind her which caused her to look over her shoulder into the restaurant area. People were already filling the tables waiting for breakfast or at the bar ordering their morning drinks. Rin thought lazily of getting up and ordering another coffee when she saw the familiar sight of a pink haired kunoichi come trotting through the lounge.

"Sakura!" she called craning her body over the arm of the bench waving at the young girl as she turned to the sound of her name and spotted her. Rin was more than pleased to see the genuine happy smile she returned and waved back. It was good to know that the situation from the night previous didn't seem to have affected her perception of her, although Rin knew she would find herself apologising to her anyway just to clear the air on the whole matter. It would make her feel better about it anyway.

The young girl threw her a hand signal by sticking up two fingers like a peace sign - _"Give me two minutes" - _before she nodded and her smile broadened_. _She obviously wanted to get herself a drink before she sat down.

Rin simply nodded and grinned back feeling more relaxed now knowing that she actually wanted to come and sit with her before leaning back in her seat. It wasn't long before Sakura appeared at her side and offered her one of the two steaming porcelain mugs in her hands.

"I figured you wanted a drink, Rin-sensei. I don't know how you take it so I brought some sugar sachets with me," she chirped happily.

"Oh, no I don't take sugar but thank you so much, you're too nice to me, Sakura," Rin replied feeling so honoured that the young girl had gone out of her way to buy her a drink despite the fact that coffee here was quite expensive. She took the mug from her young friend and hutched over to the other side of the bench to allow Sakura to seat herself next to her which she did without any encouragement.

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" the rosette asked inquisitively as she took a wary sip of her hot beverage and eyed Rin over curiously with her pretty green eyes.

Rin hummed a chuckled at her before she responded, "The last time I saw him he was snoring his head off and drooling into his pillow." She heard Sakura attempt to stifle a giggle around her mouthful of coffee at the remark.

"Yamato is doing pretty much that too. But I was awake so I came down here for something to do," she shrugged turning her attention to the garden in front as she lowered her drink to her lap.

Rin hummed at her knowing the feeling and taking a sip of her own drink as a comfortable silence settled between them. They both sat there for a while just admiring the view before Rin decided to spark up a very different conversation. She needed to get what she had to say next off her chest or it would drive her mad, she was just one of those types of people.

"Sakura," she breathed leaning forward so her elbows rested on her knees and saw the girl next to her turn her head towards her from the corner of her eye. "I want to apologise about last night. It was really rude of both me and Kakashi to dominate our room like that. We certainly didn't plan it and I'm really sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable."

Sakura didn't respond right away which caused Rin to feel a little uneasy in her presence. She felt herself swallow hard before she dared to look up at the pretty girl who was now smiling warmly into her drink.

"It's okay, Rin-sensei, you don't need to apologise to me," she replied softly.

"No, Sakura, listen to me..." Rin started not satisfied with her response before she was cut short by the young kunoichi who seemed determined to let the matter lie.

"It's alright, honestly. You know, thinking back it was actually pretty funny," Sakura giggled as she crossed her legs and leaned back in her seat. "But I over-reacted, I know that now so I'll apologise for spoiling the moment. I think I was more embarrassed that I'd just walked in on you without knocking rather than what you guys were actually doing, if you know what I mean. I should have known Kakashi-sensei would be there." She finished with a shrug and a knowing yet coy grin that tugged at one corner of her mouth.

"I guess so," Rin replied quietly as she took to gazing with a mild interest into the contents of her mug. She wasn't in the mood to argue with her so she decided to say no more about it. But it still felt nice to know that there was no awkwardness between them. It was the last thing Rin wanted and it would do none of them any good if what had happened, despite how silly and unimportant it seemed now, put an unnecessary strain on the team. But it hadn't and she was more than a little grateful for that.

"Can I tell you something, Rin-sensei?" Sakura's voice was unusually quiet which prompted Rin to eye her over sceptically before she responded.

"Of course. You can tell me anything, Sakura," she answered softly and meaning every word as she suddenly felt concerned for the girl. She wanted to be there for her and she certainly wanted to be her friend. She was a lovely young woman who harboured a fierce loyalty to those close to her and Rin so desperately wanted to be a part of that. She secretly hoped that she already was. Unfortunately she found her concern was misplaced when she realised that she wasn't prepared for what Sakura said next.

"Well, I know that Kakashi-sensei has had girlfriends before, but they never lasted very long. The longest relationship he had that I know of lasted all of a month. The thing is I knew a couple of the girls he'd dated. I wasn't friends with them or anything but they knew I was on his team and they would always end up telling me the same thing when the relationship broke down," Sakura explained somewhat matter-of-factly.

Rin wasn't sure if she liked where this conversation was heading and she hadn't even contributed to it yet, she wasn't particularly interested in any of the copy ninja's past conquests and she didn't really want to know about them. Not because it made her jealous of the girls that had been in her place before her but she hated the idea of being compared to them in some way and she couldn't help but think that was what Sakura was doing right now. But even then she found herself wanting her to continue purely because it was the polite thing to do.

"What did they say?" she asked flatly not entirely sure if she really wanted to know the answer to her own question but her feminine curiosity edging her on as it usually did.

"That he was an asshole, that he used them to get what he wanted and then kicked them to the curb when he'd got bored," Sakura sighed fingering the handle of her coffee mug it seemed by the way she spoke that she didn't quite agree with these girls' opinions of her squad leader. "Maybe he _was_ horrible to those girls, I don't know because I never got involved but I just can't see it. I _know_ Kakashi-sensei and something about him always told me his reasons for not settling down with a girl were far more deep seeded than him just playing the field." She sighed again and furrowed her pink brows together seeming that she was thinking about what she'd just said before she continued.

"I mean, Kakashi-sensei isn't a horrible person, at least I don't think so. He was always there if me, Sasuke or Naruto needed help or advice with training and sometimes he'd talk to me if I was sad or just feeling a little low about things. He was always telling me to keep my chin up and that things would be alright even when I knew they wouldn't be. But he kept my spirits up, you know?"

Rin wasn't sure how to respond. She didn't like the idea of him being anything but a gentleman to anyone, never mind someone who he was emotionally involved with. Granted there was a time where he'd shot her down when she'd tried to tell him how she truly felt about him but he'd had his reasons and she didn't hold that against him. Rin figured the girls Sakura was talking about were just upset by the fact that their relationship had failed, be that with Kakashi or anyone else, and maybe blaming him for the break up was the easy option. She decided not to interject with her thoughts on the subject as it seemed that Sakura felt pretty much the same by the way she had defended him in her last statement. She stared into her drink tracing an index finger along the rim of the mug until the candy topped medic grabbed her attention again.

"But then you came along, Rin-sensei, and suddenly everything started to make sense," she said whimsically as she leaned forward on the bench and looked Rin straight in the eye.

"Me? What did I do?" Rin muttered as she pinched her eyebrows together in mild confusion.

"I'm not sure exactly. I remember Kaka-sensei saying that his best friends had died a long time ago, but he never elaborated on it and he never spoke about these friends. I can only assume that he thought you were one of them..." Sakura's voice retreated as she spoke and Rin felt her chest tighten at her assumption as she recalled Kakashi telling her the same thing.

He hadn't mentioned it again since that very first night she had returned to Konoha, and it had hurt so much then to find out that he thought she'd died somewhere away from home. She wasn't all that surprised to find that it was still just as painful to hear it now even from someone else. She turned away and focused on her drink again as Sakura started to speak once more obviously sensing Rin's unease with her declaration.

"I guess what I mean is that, personally, I think Kakashi-sensei was pining for you all these years which is why he didn't settle for anyone else. I don't know ... but I've never seen him so ... well ... _happy_ if I really think about it. He's changed a lot since you came on the scene."

The older medic looked towards her pink haired partner at that point, a faint smile threatening to break out even as Sakura pinched her eyes closed and giggled back at her somewhat childishly. The thought of Kakashi pining for her was bitter-sweet though it wasn't a fact, Sakura had confirmed that she didn't know this for sure. Even so, it was nice to think that Kakashi still thought about her but her heart ached at the thought that she was the one that had held him back and prevented him from moving on with his life. Silently she hoped that wasn't the case, she didn't want to be the one to blame for such a horrible thing but she decided not to focus on that.

"You really think so?" Rin asked softly her interest for the conversation finally shining through at the thought that Sakura believed Kakashi had changed because of her. She liked to think she was the reason for this supposed evolution but she hadn't been around him for those years that Sakura had, so if anyone was going to notice such a drastic change in him then it was going to be her and her team. Rin could admit that he had changed since the last time she had seen him a decade ago but time changed people anyway. But Sakura was stating that this change she had noticed had happened over the past few weeks not over a period of years.

Sakura nodded her head briskly that smile on her lips morphing into a full blown grin. "Uh-huh. I told you before, he adores you, anyone with eyes can see that. Even Sasuke-kun's mentioned it a couple of times and he never notices anything."

Rin didn't know what to say. She just sat there awestruck at the words of the pretty young thing sat next to her. Rin had only known her a matter of a few weeks but already she was so fond of her like one was fond of a younger sibling. Sakura was so cute, open and honest and she always said or did something that made her smile. Being on the sticky end of her temper was a very small price to pay if this is what she received to compensate.

And she was so _talkative_. Rin was naturally a shy creature, when in the presence of someone new it was rare she would speak unless spoken to purely for the fact that she felt she had nothing interesting to say. But Sakura wasn't like that and she seemed to change Rin's whole perspective on conversation. She wasn't brash, or loud, or enjoyed the sound of her own voice; the girl just loved to talk and it was one of her little traits that Rin adored about her.

They sat and regarded each other for a while until they both reclined back into their bench with satisfied sighs and simultaneously took sips from their still piping hot drinks. But Rin couldn't get the images of these other women out of her head. Were they pretty? Did they have any connection with him like she had despite how short their relationships with him may have been? Were they good in bed?

Maybe she _was_ a little envious that someone else had gotten to the copy ninja before she'd had the chance to. She had a gut feeling that he was far more experienced sexually than she was but in order to gain that experience he would have to have been with another woman or two.

It wasn't like his involvement with other girls was unexpected. He was a very good looking guy with a lot to offer a potential mate. He was strong, obviously handsome, loyal and he had the means to provide for his partner if he so wished it, but alas, when Rin had turned up he was indeed still on the market. Part of her was glad that he hadn't found anyone to settle down with until she came back to Konoha or she wouldn't have had the chance herself but a small part of her felt sorrow for the fact that he had been alone for all that time. Perhaps that was choice he had made himself but Rin doubted very much that she would ask him such a personal question.

Eventually the curiosity got the better of her and she decided she would prefer to know the truth than sit there driving herself crazy thinking about Kakashi kissing and making love to some other goddess that was probably better in the sack than she would ever be. She couldn't help but think that her virginity would be incredibly off putting when it inevitably came out, especially at her age.

"Can I ask you something, Sakura?"

"Sure."

"Out of morbid interest, what were these _other girls_ like? Were they nice?"

She saw Sakura shrug before she answered. "They were nice I guess but they seemed to hang from Kakashi-sensei like he was some kind of trophy. Maybe that's another reason he broke up with them so quickly. Maybe they were too clingy for him. I don't know."

Rin sat and thought about that for a while not bothering to dignify Sakura's answer with a response, not that it needed one. Did _she_ treat Kakashi like he was a prize for her ego? Was she still clingy, still honing a fear that she simply wasn't good enough for him? He hadn't said anything and his mannerisms towards her hadn't justified that she was doing anything that he found particularly annoying. But still, she didn't want to push him away, she didn't want to become one of those _"other girls"._

Maybe that was what the dream this morning was trying to tell her - that if she kept relying on that one person to provide her with courage and strength eventually she would lose them unless she began to stand on her own two feet. Due to the horror she had witnessed in the nightmare the message seemed a little bit over the top and dramatic but it was a message she could see quite clearly now. The thought made her mouth twitch before she raised a hand and began to chew nervously at the nail of her thumb.

Sakura seemed to notice Rin's apprehension and she felt the younger girl gently place a hand on her shoulder which sparked the dark haired medic's interest in her coffee partner again.

"I wouldn't worry about them though, Rin-sensei. And besides I like you the best," she quipped giving her that same tooth filled grin that pinched her eyes closed.

The comment was silly and childish but it still served to make Rin laugh from the bottom of her gut as she leaned over and patted hand on Sakura's knee.

"That's cute, Sakura, but it's not a contest," she chortled though not really meaning it before getting to her feet and glancing around the dining area inside. There were still plenty of tables free and now that she thought about it she actually pretty hungry. "Do you fancy getting something to eat? I'll treat since you bought me coffee this morning," she suggested softly planting a hand on her hip and pointing towards the restaurant with the thumb of the other hand.

"I am kinda hungry. But shouldn't we wait for the other two?"

Rin pulled her head back on her neck sharply as she arched an eyebrow and snorted at Sakura's reply. "Heck no! If they're too busy sleeping that's not our problem, I'm hungry now," she scolded. "So, how about it, Sakura-chan? Will you be my breakfast date this morning?" she smouldered in the sultriest voice she could muster and offered the crook of her elbow to the young girl who was soon to be her table guest.

The smile on Sakura's face couldn't have gotten any wider as she jumped up from the bench and wrapped her arm around the dark haired medic's.

"Kakashi-sensei will probably have my guts for garters for this, but just try and stop me!" she giggled back as the two girls chuckled at each other and walked arm in arm through the glass doors and back into the hotel.

Rin just hoped they still served those wonderful pancakes they did the last time she stayed here.

* * *

_His hands ghosted over her silky smooth skin, revelling in how her body arched and flexed into his touch and how his name sounded when she moaned each syllable in euphoric pleasure. Rin was so fucking gorgeous, so responsive, so passionate and sexually charged Kakashi had to wonder why she was even with him in the first place. A girl as sexy as her could have any man she wanted, why was she attracted to a fool like him? But he wasn't one to push his luck so he refused to question it anymore and just enjoy the fact that this beautiful woman wanted him and that his desire burned brighter than a myriad suns for her._

_The way her entire body rippled beneath his as he glided his tongue over her gorgeously toned stomach upwards until he reached the valley of her amazing naked breasts was enough to drive him crazy. Her hands in his hair and her voice moaning and sighing in raw unadulterated pleasure simply pushed him further towards that steep sloping edge that was oh so close. _

_Kakashi's erection twitched in anticipation as her delicate fingers in his hair urged his body higher and her pelvis bucked and ground against his thigh. He could feel her feminine juices running down the inside of his leg as she pleasured her soaking wet sex against him and he could smell her, oh fuck, could he smell her pungent yet sweet arousal. Her sexual scent was glorious, heady and it consumed his senses almost to the point where it blurred his vision._

"_Oh, Kakashi," she mewled as he sat up and shifted his body adjusting her hips so her scorching hot womanhood was now rolling against his hard cock before he smoothed a single calloused hand over one glorious breast and allowed his other to shift from her hip to join its twin. Rin released her harsh grip on his hair and fluttered her small and delicate hands down his neck, splaying her long fingers onto his shoulders and began to glide her smooth palms over his chest and back again. _

_She penetrated his being as she looked over his naked body with clouded lust filled eyes, her pretty mouth falling open and slowly closing at the sight of him and her nails digging in to his flesh in the most tantalising way. He turned her on, she wanted him, wanted him inside of her to fuck her into oblivion and he took awesome pleasure in knowing that. _

"_Like what you see?" he hummed knowingly, gently running his thumbs against her areola and over her hard nipples drunk on her smell and her pleasured sighs allowing himself to bathe in the satisfaction of how her body came to life when he touched her._

_She traced a finger over the white threads of semi-healed scars cut into his chest and followed them lower before running that same finger over the central valley of his abdomen her eyes mesmerised by her own movements. She gazed at him a moment longer her lips parting ever so slightly seeming to drink the sight in before her as her bodily motions stilled to a complete stop._

_Kakashi felt his muscles twitch and respond to Rin's soft touch as her extended digit travelled ever lower until she reached the coarse wiry hairs crowning the base of his member. His hips reacted to her instantly by jutting forwards in a slight yet encouraging movement as he growled amorously through gritted teeth in response to the fire her touch left behind._

_Rin flicked her sights back to his face a slight flirtatious smirk tugging at one corner of her mouth as she resumed gently rolling her hips into his forcing another one of her lusty sighs to pass her lips. Her eyes were darker than before, hazed by her desire for him before she mouthed the word _"beautiful" _in such a manner that made her look like she had just blown him a kiss and lapped her tongue over her lower lip._

_Just watching her sultry confidence as she responded to the sight of his body was enough to make him lose his mind. He joined her in her desperate dance for release allowing his thick member to slide between her slick folds over her swollen clitoris and back again with a deliberately slow and controlled rocking of his hips but never penetrating, not yet. _

_The sensation of her hot pink labia slipping along the sensitive underside of his penis and her clit bumping against his tip made Kakashi quiver and growl deep in his throat. Her fluids soaked him through and he could feel it dripping from his testicles splattering onto the ruffled sheets beneath. She was so wet, so ready for him and he could only imagine how wonderfully tight she would feel as her insides quivered and clamped around his hard cock but even now she felt so damn good._

_He had waited so long to have her, so long to finally make her his, to fill her to the brim and fuck her so hard and deep until she screamed in agonising euphoria as he watched her come that he was determined to take his time with her, to tease and pleasure her to the brink of almost bursting. _

_He was her first and that made this maddening experience all the more erotic and arousing, it made him want her more, made him want to stretch her, fill her and claim her virginity for himself. Kakashi didn't think he had ever been so turned on by a woman, he had never wanted a woman so badly like he wanted Rin right now, like he had wanted and craved her since she was just sixteen years old. _

_His hazy eyes met hers as he massaged her breasts in his hands squeezing the soft mounds with his fingers and his gentle circular motion while he watched her beautiful face contort with that white hot ecstasy he could hear in her voice as she repeatedly whispered his name and begged him for more. _

"_Tell me that feels good. You like it when I touch you, don't you?" he purred while taking each nipple between a thumb and a forefinger and pinching the hard little nubs just to hear her cry of utter pleasure and to watch her buck and writhe beneath him. She looked divine, her long hair splayed out over the pillow like a halo around her head. Her face a picture of ecstasy as she moaned and whimpered his name and her legs spread wide around his waist ready to receive him whole. He thrust against her a little harder when she didn't reply straight away seeming too caught up in the heavenly sensations he bestowed upon her._

_She turned his insides molten when she finally spoke. "Oh god, yes! Oh god, Kakashi, you make me feel so good! Don't stop, please, don't stop!" she sobbed as he continued to rub her pretty pink nipples in his fingers until they were fully distended and the skin red and raw. _

_He felt the smirk on his lips as he curled his body over hers relishing the way her chest heaved into his hands with each quivering breath she took. She was so fucking beautiful, his very own goddess lying before him, his task to fulfil her every need and desire as she fulfilled his. _

_Kakashi rested his head in the hollow of her shoulder and ran his tongue over the burning hot flesh of her neck before lifting his chin and nibbling the shell of her ear. Her gasps suddenly became deeper, more even but her moans kept coming in time with the soft motion of her sex against his._

"_Tell me what you want, how to touch you, tell me how you want me to please you, Rin," he whispered into her ear in nothing but a hot husky breath. She groaned in response as he shifted again and planted a soft kiss on her pulse, arching herself into him as her fingers returned to his dishevelled hair. _

_Kakashi shifted his hands from her breasts sliding his palms over her ribs and around the back of her shoulders, enveloping her, drawing her closer to him and kissing her glorious sweat slicked skin as they both pleasured themselves against each other. He couldn't get enough, he was addicted to her like she was some powerful narcotic that shot through his system when their bodies connected. He needed more of her, more of her passion, more of her touches, her moans, her cries and her intoxicating aroma. She was gorgeous, so unbelievably beautiful and he wanted to keep her all to himself._

"_Inside, I need you ah ... aah! I need you i-inside me! Please, Kakashi, p-please," she whimpered her fingers once again abandoning his scalp as she deliciously dragged her nails down over his shoulder blades, her plea not going unheard and one Kakashi wasn't about to ignore either. _

_The mere sound of her voice in his ears drove him crazy and he couldn't contain the loud moan that rumbled from his chest as he stroked his tongue over her throat. He could feel the electricity surging through his veins and he could hear himself panting in time with that burning coil in his groin twisting tighter and tighter as he continued to slowly grind his hard cock against her. He was so close, so close he could feel his balls contracting as he lifted himself from her completely removing his body before he lost all control much to her utter dismay. _

_Propped up with both hands on either side of her head he looked down at her as he tried to catch his breath, admiring how simply gorgeous she was as her eyes gazed into his, dark, amorous and brimming with a primal lust so deep he couldn't bring himself to look away. _

_He lowered himself eventually touching the tip of his thick shaft against her still soaking opening and hovered his mouth above hers. His dishevelled hair damp with his own sweat hung over them the messy strands of silver bobbing around his face as he dragged the air into his lungs desperate to catch his breath. _

_Rin finally spoke lifting a hands from his shoulders and touching his face, the tips of her fingers fluttering over his over sensitive skin making him whimper and melt into her touch. _

"_Where will you take me?" she whispered passionately as she tilted her head slightly to one side and letting her soft supple lips to stroke against his._

"_To paradise," Kakashi responded in little more than a breath feeling his whole body trembling above her, his desire and lust for this girl boiling inside him to the point he feared he would explode at any moment from the extreme pressure. He was almost at his peak, he knew he wouldn't last much longer, he needed to take her now before he completely lost his mind._

"_Tell me why," she breathed her lips curving upwards as her focus flitted from his eyes to his mouth and back again as she stroked the backs of her fingers of one hand across his cheek._

"_Because I love you," he replied his breath hitching as he felt himself enter her, the walls of her sex consuming him whole and closing around him sucking him in. He felt Rin arch into him beneath as she pulled his head towards her until their lips connected and she plunged her tongue into his mouth. _

_He moaned against her just as he was about to fill her completely almost at the hilt relishing in how he could feel her stretching around him and drinking in that delicious taste of her tongue against his. She tasted ... sort of ... weird ... dry ... coarse and ... lumpy - _

_..._

Kakashi cracked an eye open and squinted against the bright sunlight streaking across his bed from the gap in the curtain. It took him a while to figure out where he was and why and he was pretty sure he had forgotten his own name during those strange disorientating moments upon waking. When his bearings eventually returned he discovered that he wasn't actually kissing or about to make love to the girl of his dreams but instead sucking on the corner of his own pillow.

With a soft groan of effort he pushed himself upright onto his knees clumsily, the fabric of his pillow still hanging in his teeth as he looked lazily around the room with sleepy eyes. He noticed instantly that the goddess that appeared in his dream was nowhere to be seen and her bed was neatly made with that sexy purple shirt folded on top of the sheets. Kakashi stared at it for a while until he let the bag of feathers in his mouth drop back to the mattress and a mere moment later he joined it allowing gravity to take him and send him plummeting face first into the object he had just been sexually assaulting.

The entire bed creaked loudly under his weight and bounced around him as he just lay there not in the mood to move another muscle. His face was buried in the soft abused cushion with his ass in the air both arms laying limply at his sides as he emitted a long pathetic whine at the embarrassing realisation of what had just happened and how cruel life was being to him lately.

Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he had been so sexually frustrated in his life. He wanted to cry, to just lay there on his bed and weep while mourning the fact that no amount of jacking off and cold showers was going to release the type of unbearable pressure building up inside of him. There was only one way he could cure this itch and there was no way he would get access to that medicine any time soon. Not here anyway.

Considering the circumstances that had brought him to Machenich in the first place it would be unfair to pursue his fantasies any further than he already had. He had no choice but to try and live with the irritation for now. He'd very nearly failed to keep it in his pants the night before and were it not for Sakura barging in on them and ruining the moment he may very well have ended up sleeping with the woman in his dream. There was no doubt in his mind that sex with Rin would be anything other than fantastic but to act on it now could huge mistake on his part.

He hadn't planned on even kissing her while on this excursion but her massage had turned him on so much he just couldn't contain himself. He knew now that he should have turned it down but something inside him prevented him from doing just that. Kakashi figured the kiss would have been enough to sate the monster between his legs but of course it wasn't. He was supposed to be here to support her during what could only be a very difficult time for her not to try and peel her clothes off every time they found themselves alone together. The last thing he wanted was her to think that he was taking advantage of her while she was down and the very thought forced the guilt to froth into his gullet.

She had not long found out her close friend and team leader of ten years was dead ... what the hell was wrong with him? Why was his own body working against him like this? Why did his imagination want to show him things he knew he couldn't have but wanted so desperately?

Kakashi had tried to apologise for his lack of constraint before they both retired for the night but Rin wouldn't hear of it. She'd just shook her head at him and told him to stop being stupid. But he felt stupid, he felt like an absolute idiot for not pulling himself into check before he let his heart rule his head. Even he knew it wasn't like him to cave into his emotions so easily but it was so hard to resist recently, sometimes he didn't even realise he was doing it until he had already acted.

He'd never had this much trouble managing his libido before. It was all _her_ fault that he felt so powerless with absolutely no control over his own body and why these potent erotic dreams were leaving him feeling un-sated, frustrated and downright miserable. All they did was constantly torment and remind him of something he wasn't yet receiving.

His feelings for Rin went far beyond the boundaries of sex. He loved her, had loved her for a long time even if he hadn't openly confirmed it yet but something in his brain was misfiring and forcing the testosterone to pump through his system in higher doses than what he was used to.

Kakashi was almost at the end of his rope. He wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with this – he was only human after all - and even though it was always good to know his manhood was in good working order he was growing tired of looking at it every morning and having to deal with the problem himself. At this moment in time he felt if he never had another erection ever again it would be too soon but the idea of being impotent didn't fill him with much joy either. Talk about a catch twenty two situation...

He just wanted to feel normal again, not like some crazed nymphomaniac which was how he'd been feeling for quite some time now, sex with her was all he could think about, all he dreamt about and it was driving him nuts, _she_ was driving him nuts. He couldn't go a whole day without at least thinking about her or hearing her name in passing conversation and his cock would spring to life each and every time.

No girl had ever had this effect on him, _ever_, and if he was honest with himself it frightened him to think that someone as placid and shy as Rin had such a powerful hold over him. He wondered briefly if she was aware of how far under her spell he really was but knowing her he highly doubted it. He was just glad Rin wasn't here to see him making an ass of himself in his sleep. Goodness knows what kinds of noises he'd been making while desperately trying to make love to his bed and probably unconsciously calling her name as he did so. How humiliating...

Rolling angrily onto his back Kakashi kicked off the sheets that were ravelled around his legs viciously and cursed at them until his feet were finally free before pressing the balls of his hands onto both eyes. He sighed heavily knowing he still had a hard on, a raging one, he could feel it throbbing in his boxers to the same rhythm of his heartbeat but the last thing he wanted to do right now was look at it never mind touch it.

Keeping his eyes closed Kakashi reached for the end table and fumbled around blindly searching for his watch so he could see what time it was. He really hoped he hadn't slept through breakfast. Despite the fact that he was horny as hell he was also quite hungry and his stomach growled at that moment as if to confirm this last bit of information.

After sifting his hand around on the table for a while he found his book, his rear pouch, his leg pouch, his money clip which he promptly knocked onto the floor and then finally his fingers touched the metallic straps of his watch. Grasping it harshly he dragged it from the small cupboard and dangled it in front of his face blinking harshly at it as he tried to focus on the black watch face. Eight forty five, it read. Breakfast didn't finish until ten thirty so he had plenty of time to shower and dress before making his way down to the restaurant and fill his stomach, heaven knew _that_ beast needed sating. He assumed Rin was already down there, she definitely wasn't here so there was nowhere else she could be at this hour and chances were the others were there too.

'_Why didn't she wake me up?' _he thought dejectedly frowning to himself and feeling a little rejected that she had just left him there. He decided not to dwell too much on it. Maybe she'd left him in bed assuming he needed the sleep, yeah that sounded a more likely explanation. He would freely admit, however, that last night was the best night's sleep he'd ever had. With his body used to being awake and alert at all hours and sometimes for days at a time he suffered insomnia quite regularly had done since his father died. It made a nice change to sleep soundly for a good solid eight hours.

It was as he was replacing his watch on the end table that he spied his erection forcing the fabric of his blue boxer shorts to tent at its whim. Kakashi sighed at it like a parent would sigh at a naughty child, wishing it would just go away on its own like most cases of morning wood, but he knew damn well that this one wouldn't. Well, if he was going to take the steps into calm himself down again he may as well have fun doing it. He didn't much fancy the cold shower and it was never really the best way to start ones day.

Hooking both thumbs behind the waist band of his shorts Kakashi arched his back from the mattress and briskly removed them, tossing them to the floor once he'd untangled a stubborn foot from the obstructive garment. He lay back down on the bed resting his head warily on the pillow and begrudgingly wrapped his hand around his shaft and started to pump slowly.

He was reluctant to give in to himself initially. It was almost like he didn't enjoy masturbating anymore, not something he really wanted to admit even to himself. But it certainly didn't take long for the searing heat in his groin to flare and start to boil as that already tightly wound coil began to twist while the pressure between his legs started to build and intensify.

Before Kakashi realised it he was breathing hard, his heart was racing, faint droplets of sweat were forming on his forehead and he was beginning to drift into yet another fantasy. He let his eyes flutter closed as he imagined that it wasn't his hand around his thick member but Rin's. Her wonderfully long and delicate fingers working their unspoken magic around the entirety of his manhood occasionally scraping a fingernail along the slit cut into his tip. He heard himself groan at the thought and uttered her name under his breath watching her pleasuring him in his mind's eye.

The precum that was already seeping from him made it perfect for him to imagine the tips his fingers were actually her tongue as he smeared the fluid over the head. He wasted no time convincing himself that Rin was in fact sucking him off as he ran his own hand up and down his own dick laying there and whimpering pleasurably to himself. The coil in his groin tightened again sending that hot spark of electricity to surge through his legs. He gasped in response as he could feel himself slipping out of his own control.

He saw her lips surrounding him as she took his whole length into her hot wet mouth as she used her tongue to massage his underside before repeating the action. He imagined his cock slipping out from between her supple lips slick with saliva her pretty dark eyes smouldering at him from beneath sooty lashes before he sank into her again. His breathing became heavier starting out as gasps but soon exhaling as moans of pleasure as the fantasy in his head took hold over the reality of the situation. His hips bucked and he thrust himself into his own hand as he pumped himself fiercely.

"Oh f-fuck," he gasped raking a feverish hand through his hair gripping and pulling at the back of his head not daring to slow his pace in his desperate need for release. He was so close; his eyes screwed shut thinking about the beautiful girl sucking his cock as he lay powerless to oppose her just dying to come in her mouth. Maybe one day this wouldn't be a fantasy anymore but for now he had no choice but to settle for the dream, right at this moment in time the dream was good enough.

It didn't take long before that overbearing ball of heat deep in his crotch exploded, that tight coil suddenly unravelling sending him spiralling into orgasm as the pleasure washed over him in waves. His body went taught, the sheer force of his release forcing his feet into the mattress causing his back to arch from the bed with his head bent back on his neck with his mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Kakashi could feel his seed dribbling over his knuckles as it left him in quick hot spurts. He emitted one strangled groan before his legs gave way and he collapsed back to the bed feeling hot, breathless and spent but not quite as satisfied as he should have been. But that was one of the symptoms of the itch. There was only one cure and the solution to his problem was currently sitting in the restaurant downstairs eating her first meal of the day.

After catching his breath Kakashi managed to sit himself up. Swinging his legs from the bed he just sat there gathering his garbled thoughts while resting his brow in the palm of his clean hand. He wiped the bodily fluid from his other on the bed sheets knowing the hotel changed bedding daily and really not caring that he'd just made a mess of them. He was certain the staff had seen worse, hotels attract all kinds of guests no matter how posh or up market they were and he was more than confident that the couples that came to these places were bound to have sex in these beds so he refused to feel bad about it. He sighed to himself actually feeling a little guilty for the fantasy he's just created in his mind even if it was just that for now - just a dream. He hoped he could look Rin in the eye when he finally came face to face with her this morning but he figured he needn't over think it. He had managed for this long to keep all this under a tight lid so he shouldn't have any problems now.

Eventually he stood grabbing the towel that rested on top of his pack and swung it over his shoulder. He meandered towards the little wet room on the far side and stopped briefly to look down at that purple shirt that lay neatly folded on Rin's bed. He wondered if she dreamt about him the way he had about her. A small grin formed on his mouth at the thought as he finally looked away and walked into the room to get ready for the long afternoon ahead.

* * *

"Good morning, sleepy head! I was getting worried I'd have to come and wake you up!" Rin cried from the table her and her other two guests were seated. She was waving her arm above her head as though Kakashi wouldn't see them otherwise. The restaurant area wasn't anywhere near as full as it was the night previous so finding them wouldn't have been difficult but still he appreciated her beacon and raised a hand to her regardless. He plodded over to them in the hopes that they hadn't eaten yet, he didn't much fancy eating by himself. He planted himself in the empty chair next to Tenzou and slung an arm over the back of it before offering a raised hand to the group in greeting.

"You're just in time, Kakashi-sempai, I was just about to go and order breakfast," Tenzou beamed his eyes pinching closed with his smile that all but filled his face.

"So you weren't even going to wait for me to turn up?" Kakashi questioned casually, turning his visual attention to the man sat next to him which seemed to turn the wood user to stone in an instant. He knew the comment directed at him hadn't been callous in fact it was kindly meant but he couldn't help but try and pull Tenzou up on it. It had been a while since he had last picked on him for something, at least a day, so it seemed to Kakashi that the poor man was overdue a good grilling.

"Uhm... well...K-Kakashi-sempai... I... uh..." he stuttered obviously struggling for the words he wanted to say. He eventually settled back in his chair and awkwardly scratched at the back of his head. It was always a howl making this guy squirm in his seat.

Kakashi vaguely noticed the two girls opposite switch glances but he chose not to react to them, that and he had a feeling they wouldn't interject. He leaned over the table folding his arms across it and fixed Tenzou with another one of his blank stares before he chose to speak again.

"You know, Yamato, considering that you're romantically involved with one of my disciples I find it quite rude that you were going to order without waiting for me to show up. I would have waited for you if the shoe was on the other foot because I respect you as a member of my team."

"Kakashi-sempai, I didn't mean..."

"Don't you respect me as your team leader, Yamato?"

Kakashi placed a gloved hand on his chest and tilted his head slightly to one side as if to signify Tenzou's haste really bothered him as the poor man just sat there gazing worriedly at him at a loss on how to defend himself. Eventually after regarding each other for a few minutes, Tenzou got to his feet and started to meander towards the bar.

"What would you like me to get for you, sempai?" he grumbled seeming that he was giving up on the argument and letting Kakashi get his own way again. The copy nin knew he would win anyway, he had a way with words when it came to his good friend Tenzou.

"Just toast is fine, thanks, Yamato," Kakashi replied flatly with what he thought was a genuine hidden smile as Tenzou shot him a detestable glare before he turned around and made his way over to the serving area.

The copy nin leaned forward in his seat just watching after the only other man in the small group and chuckled quietly to himself over his latest victory until a very sharp pain struck him across the knuckles of one hand. The loud crack of skin on skin startled him and forced him to jump in his seat before he withdrew the offended limb with an inward hiss and cradled it against his chest as he raised his eyes to the culprit who had just slapped him.

"Ow, Rin! What was that for?" he whined at the woman opposite who was just settling back in her seat but looking at him with fiery dark eyes and an un-impressed scowl.

"That was really mean, Kakashi! How would you like it if I did that to you?" she bit at him as she pointed an accusing finger towards him from which he recoiled automatically. Her expression wasn't angry, it was hateful and her eyes burned through him like a hot cattle prod to the backside. Needless to say that the image of her still in his mind from his sexy dream soon dissipated at the site of those smouldering angry eyes.

Kakashi was dumbfounded, he never expected anyone to defend Tenzou the way she was doing. Everyone knew he liked to tease the guy from time to time, it was just something he did and no one had ever really questioned it but it seemed that Rin seemed so offended by his actions that he started to feel quite guilty about it.

"It was just a joke..." he started in a surprisingly small voice while he continued to tenderly rub his sore knuckles until Sakura interrupted him and began to fight his corner much to the copy nin's utter delight.

"Yeah, Rin-sensei. He was only kidding. Yamato never takes it personally anyway," she giggled hunching her shoulders a little when Rin spun her head to look at her.

It seemed that the dark haired kunoichi wasn't at all convinced as she slowly settled her eyes on Kakashi again which made him want to sink into his chair like a naughty child that had been caught in the act. The look on her face said it all _'I'll drop it... for now.'_ Before she quickly looked away and sipped at her mug of hot coffee.

Either Rin genuinely thought Kakashi was an asshole (at this moment in time he sure felt like one) or she was just in a bad mood, secretly he actually hoped it was the former at least then he would be able to apologise at some point and get on her good side again. If it was the latter then today was going to be one hell of a long day and he had a horrible feeling that he would be bearing the brunt of it.

* * *

Luckily for Kakashi breakfast wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be. Rin wasn't one for holding grudges anyway but he'd had a gut feeling that she would try and make him apologise to Tenzou for picking on him at the table. Thankfully she didn't. If anything she had dropped the matter almost instantly and it hadn't taken her and Kakashi long to start playing footsy with each other under the table even if it did get out of hand and she ended up kicking him a little too hard in the shin. It was all in good fun and the copy nin never enjoyed laughing so much as he did recently even if the other two stared at him when he did so like he was an alien. It wasn't like he really cared what they thought anyway.

It had taken some time but the copy nin had finally managed to coax his female counterpart into venturing into town after Sakura and Tenzou had decided to go off on their own for the morning. That was fine with Kakashi, though he would have liked nothing more than to just sit in his room and read naughty books all morning he had someone else's interests to tend to. It was going to do Rin no good just sitting indoors staring at four walls waiting for the inevitable. She would drive herself crazy doing things like that.

Today was a huge day for Rin, possibly a day that she had been dreading since finding out that she had to come back here and Kakashi had taken it upon himself to do his best to keep her mind off it for the morning. This mission wasn't like the missions he was used to. Tracking and capturing enemies and beating them either into submission or killing them outright for the name of his village and his country.

This was a retrieval mission for a fallen comrade who had died trying to help another village in need, there was no target to hunt and there was no one to blame, this instance was just one of those unfortunate occurrences that happened from time to time. It was a sad story, sad and tragic but he hated the idea of Rin dwelling on this fact when she really didn't need to, not right now anyway. He didn't want this whole trip to be thwarted with terrible memories. Just one good memory would be enough to at least make her smile when she would eventually look back on it.

At first she had fought against him, saying she was fine and she didn't feel like going out apparently preferring to _'bum around'_ as she had so gracefully put it, but here they were now wandering the brightly sunlit streets of Machenich and actually enjoying themselves. Again, as he took to looking around the pretty town with an aspired awe, he wished he would be able to come back one day on more sociable terms.

He briefly thought about putting it to Rin bluntly and asking if she would want to come back this way as a sort of vacation, just her and him. But he banished the idea pretty much as soon as it came. It was stupid to think that she would even want to come back here, especially after what she had told him the night before. She really didn't like it here and her reasons for that were more than valid.

They both walked along the busy street side by side simply soaking up the warm summer sun and gazing at all the little trinkets and snacks the little stores on the strip had to offer. They had already been in a few stores just to look at their merchandise and although the shop keepers weren't exactly friendly people what with their stony faces and equally cold attitudes towards them, not one had denied them access to their shops.

"I thought you said you were barred from a lot of these places," Kakashi commented casually as he looked down at the girl that was linked into his arm with her own.

Rin glanced up at him seemingly bewildered by his statement before she shook her head and focused back on her path. "I was, but because a lot more shinobi medics started being stationed here I guess they must have changed their minds. Turning away ninja is like turning down money I suppose," she sighed dismally.

Kakashi hummed in agreement as they continued to stroll down the strip and passed the little tea shop they had visited the day before. He felt himself speed up at that point not really wanting to be subjected again to the ogling eyes of the strange woman that owned it. Rin seemed really fond of Hime-sama, but Kakashi found her quite... scary, for want of a better term. She was old enough to be his mother and she had looked at him like he was lunch. The thought made him shudder. She may very well be a very nice lady, but Kakashi wasn't keen on the idea of finding out any time soon. He certainly didn't want to shake her hand again that was for sure.

It wasn't long after that point when he felt the girl in his company pull a little on his arm prompting him to look down at her to see her gazing longingly at a shop window across the way. Together they came to a slow stop as Kakashi took to studying the windows contents.

It was a clothes shop, an expensive clothes shop by the look of the elaborate dress that hung on the mannequin behind the glass and it had a large neon lit sign that said the name _Angel's_.

"Want to go and have a look?" he asked earning him another one of her astonished glances and a swift shake of her head.

"Oh, no, I'm okay. That place is really expensive. I can't afford anything in there," she replied meekly as she made a move to walk in the opposite direction.

He pulled her back into position gently with a firm tug of his arm before he responded. "So? That doesn't mean we can't just pop in and have a look."

Rin just looked up at him with doleful eyes while she played the fabric of his sleeve in her fingers seeming unsure how to answer him.

"I know you want to," he teased tilting his head to one side and winking at her as though to confirm what he'd just said as a fact.

"Okay, you've twisted my arm. But don't blame me when I burst into tears because I can't afford anything in there," she fired back with a slight chuckle as she began to lead them both towards the shop.

The interior of the store was expansive and the décor overly decorative for a place that only sold pretty dresses. Maybe Kakashi was looking too far into it, or maybe because this was a shop just for women but surely the frocks on their own would be enough to attract customers. No wonder the place was so expensive; they needed the money just to pay for the decoration.

He noticed that Rin had long been attracted to a row of dresses on the far side of the shop and he decided to join her quickly after spying the older woman behind the counter looking him over with fierce eyes and a fish like scowl pulling at her mouth. Kakashi found himself smiling at her nervously as he turned on his heel and stood next to his female companion just to show her that he wasn't in here by himself.

"See something you like?" he asked as he saw the medic lift the skirt of a black dress in front of her as though she was examining the fabric.

She sighed dismally as she let it fall from her hands before she turned around and motioned to walk away. "No, let's just go," she murmured flatly, her face set in a discontented scowl as she went to walk past him were it not for Kakashi planting his hands on her shoulders and forcing her stand in front of him.

"What's the matter?" he muttered keeping his voice low so the scornful woman at the counter couldn't hear them as he bowed his head towards her. He saw her grimace a little before she looked up at him.

"Nothing, I just can't afford anything in here, that's all," she muttered back.

The look in her eye told him that this was only partly true. The clothes in this store were expensive but there was something else hanging in her features that she was unwilling to disclose but he knew he didn't have to ask her to. It was obvious what was troubling her and all Kakashi could do at that moment was squeeze her shoulders to let her know that he was aware of her situation that she was dreading that afternoon. No amount of consoling and soul searching was going to make her feel any better about it so for now the subject was better left unspoken.

"I'm going to ask you again and I want you to be honest with me this time," he scolded lightly, arching a brow at her to ensure she knew he meant what he said.

Rin opened her mouth to speak but he intercepted her before she had the chance to protest.

"I want to know if you've seen something you like." He spoke softly still as he released one of her shoulders from his grip as she turned back towards the black dress she had been handling moments ago.

She reached towards it and grasped the flare of material running her thumb over the glittery fabric as she held it up.

"I like this one," she murmured a little shamefully.

Kakashi hummed at her letting his other hand fall from her and crammed both hands into his pockets. "Well, pick a size then," he stated noting that he sounded impatient albeit unintentionally. His tone prompted Rin to turn and look at him sceptically.

"Huh?" she questioned as she grimaced confusedly at him and shook her head.

"You said you like that dress. You'll need to pick your size or it's not going to fit you is it?"

"I told you, I can't afford it!"

"You're not the one paying for it."

Kakashi hadn't planned on buying anything this morning, but he desperately wanted her to think about something other than her dreaded trip to the hospital. That and he felt she deserved a gift of some description, hell she had bought and done enough things for him since her return to Konoha. And the look on her face was worth every penny he was about to spend as her eyes shot open so wide he almost feared her eyeballs would just drop out of their sockets.

Eventually she gazed back down at the pretty frock in her hand before turning back towards him and shaking her head again.

"Kakashi, have you seen the price of this thing?" she hissed as she shot a sideways glance at the woman at the counter.

"I can afford it, it's fine," he chuckled back only to be sighed at again. But it wasn't like he was lying. Kakashi was what one would call a penny pincher. He liked to look after his money because one never knew when one might desperately need it, it certainly helped when his team members would so graciously help him out when he had _"conveniently"_ forgotten his wallet. He only bought things he needed such as food, household essentials and weaponry. Of course he had his collection of books but those were the only luxury he allowed himself, Kakashi never saw the need to live extravagantly and with only himself to clothe, feed and basically take care of there was no need to.

"No, it's too steep, I can't let you spend all that money on one thing," she complained irritably as she tried again to move towards the door but again Kakashi wouldn't give her the chance.

"Rin, I'm just trying to do something nice. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn't treat you to something every now and again?"

She didn't answer straight away but she looked away briskly and hooked a strand of hair behind her ear when he had mentioned the term '_boyfriend_'. Her expression was so cute it was heart breaking and he still found it amusing that she was still so bashful about it all, secretly he hoped that would never change, her bashfulness was just one of the things he found so endearing about her. Eventually he lowered his head again hoping to catch her gaze just as she lifted her sights and their eyes connected.

"You're not going to turn down my offer of a gift, are you?" he asked knowing that it was a question she really couldn't say no to. She obviously liked the dress and he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by thinking that this was some kind of payback for the books she had given him or even some deranged loan because she couldn't afford the garment herself. It was as he had stated, a gift, not just to help her take her mind off a certain upcoming event but also because he cared about her and felt she deserved it.

"You really don't have to," she squeaked flashing him that wonderful coy smile of hers while she hunched her shoulders at him. The flush on her cheeks deepened in colour slightly as she seemed to struggle to maintain eye contact with him.

"I know I don't. Maybe I want to," he replied softly with a smile of his own, though his was far more confident than hers.

"Are you sure? I mean, there are plenty of other places in town, I don't really need the dress or anything..."

"Will you please just do as you're told for once? Just pick a size," he scolded again as he offered a hand out to the pretty black gowns behind her.

Dragging her lower lip into her mouth Rin took one more look behind her once more before turning her attention back to him with a grin that could almost fill her face.

"Thank you so much," she breathed as she motioned away from him and began flicking through the dresses on the rack looking for the size she wanted.

Kakashi hated spending money, he was always so careful about how far his wages went but he would gladly spend every single penny to his name just to see that smile on her face.

* * *

Kakashi sat in the edge of his bed unable to wipe the triumphant smirk off his face as he watched Rin holding her new prized possession against herself and twirling around in front of the mirror on the door of the wet room.

"It's so beautiful. I've always wanted a dress from Angel's," she sighed whimsically pulling at the skirt of the dress and spinning her body just once more as though she were actually wearing it.

"Just remember the deal, Rin," Kakashi warned as he swung his legs onto the mattress and leaned himself back against the wall raising both arms to support the back of his head.

He saw her shoulders slump as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye with an un-amused scowl. "I know, I know. _You can't wear it until we're back home 'coz I'm team leader and I'm awesome and shit,_" she mocked her voice purposely lowering in pitch as she tried to replicate Kakashi's voice albeit very poorly.

"That's not _quite_ what I said and I'm certain I don't sound like that," he retorted with a chuckle unable to fight against the smile that tugged at his lips at her lame attempt to mimic him.

Rin didn't reply, she just smirked at her own reflection before she stepped away from the mirror and hung the pretty black garment in front of her to examine it once more. Eventually she blew out a sigh as she crouched in front of her pack rolling the dress up carefully in her arms and packing it neatly out of sight.

Kakashi was certain that she was going to look amazing in that dress and he thought briefly of asking her to try it on again now they were back in the hotel room but he figured making her wait would give her at least a little bit of something to look forward to when they got back home. Chances were that she was looking forward to going home anyway.

Rin straightened herself once she'd zipped her pack back up and meandered towards Kakashi who was still just lounging on his bed.

"Thank you so much, Kakashi! I love it! Now I just need some shoes and a handbag to go with it!" she chirped stopping at his feet and clapping her hands together happily with a smile so wide it almost filled her entire face.

Kakashi just laughed at her the action forcing his eyes closed, not entirely sure how to respond because ... well ... he hadn't bought that many gifts in his time. The fact that she truly appreciated his generosity made him feel good, maybe he should buy her things more often, but it wasn't like she didn't deserve it. She'd already spent a fortune on those books she'd given him, goodness knows how much the television set cost that she had left at his apartment and then there was the wonderful backrub she had given him the night before. She deserved something, even if he considered the pretty dress to just be a little bit of something.

Before Kakashi had even finished chuckling he felt his body dip into the mattress forcing him to open his eyes with a start to see Rin sat on her knees directly in front of him between his legs. He eyed her over noting how her shoulders were hunched a little and the slight flush that was now dusting the bridge of her nose. Raising his sights their eyes connected and he saw how dark they had become, burning into him as he simply sat there and gazed back. Her expression was a little confusing to his senses initially but it still made that familiar heat flare up in the pit of his stomach.

"Rin, what are you doing?" he murmured feeling his own fingers tightening in his hair at the back of his head, he knew exactly what she was doing and why he had even asked that question to begin with was beyond him. He wanted to move to just get out of this unbearably uncomfortable position this woman was putting him in but he had a feeling that she knew exactly what she was doing. He wasn't sure if it was unfortunate that he found himself rooted to the spot.

Her eyes dropped to the space between them before they returned to his face as she shifted a hand and moved herself slowly closer like a cat stalking her prey. "I'm thanking you for the gift, Kakashi," she whispered her lips now mere millimetres away from his.

The way she'd just said his name sent his head reeling and he heard his own breath hitch in his throat; her voice had been so soft, sensual and downright sexy. She sounded like the Rin in his dream that morning and he felt his eyes widen as it suddenly dawned on him what was happening. Kakashi tried to move his head back as he lowered his arms but the wall obstructed his movement and instead he just sat there and swallowed audibly before Rin gently placed her mouth over his own.

He couldn't help himself feeling his body succumb to her advance and letting his eyes flutter shut as he responded to her instantly. He felt her lips part against his which encouraged him to part his own and seek out her tongue as he removed his hands from behind his head and threaded his fingers into her soft glossy hair. Her kiss was so soft, gentle and sensuous and Kakashi had no choice but to dance to her tune as she kissed him.

Rin shifted her position using her hands on his shoulders to support her weight as she moved closer, her slim and gorgeous body closing the space between them as she wrapped her legs around his midriff which sat her higher than he was forcing him to crane his neck upwards.

The kiss broke when Kakashi pulled away slowly and gazed up at her as she simply sat on his lap and gazed back with a soft pretty smile on her lips.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing with a guy like me?" he all but whispered returning her smile as her widened at the compliment.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked meekly doing her usual thing and hooking stray strands of hair behind her ear.

Running a hand through her hair again Kakashi chuckled at her response. She didn't seem to question why their relationship existed thought that was all he'd done every day since she'd come home. Maybe he should stop questioning it and just learn to enjoy the fact that he wanted her and the feeling was more than mutual.

"Anyone who says otherwise needs to have their eyes checked," he responded coolly and meaning every word.

She didn't reply but instead leaned towards him again as he did towards her and resumed the kiss that he had initially broken. There was no battle for dominance, no desperate need to pull and tear at each others clothes to get to bare skin, just them and their gentle sweet kiss and the embrace that held them close to each other. That was until a strange repetitive beeping sound filled the air.

Rin was the one that pulled away this time as she lurched back, flicking her wrist towards herself and fumbling with the buttons on her watch to silence the alarm she had set earlier to let them know when it was time to complete the mission they had been sent here to do.

She sat there for a while simply gazing down at her watch the warm smile faded into a discontented pout as she struggled to focus herself. It was time to leave and she didn't want to go.

"Rin...?" Kakashi murmured stroking her face with the tips of his fingers to gain her attention but startling her instead as she jumped a little on his lap and lifted her head sharply.

He didn't say anything, she knew what time it was and she didn't need it confirming but still she decided to lean into him resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder as she wrapped her slender arms around him.

"Just five more minutes, please?" she croaked squeezing him a little tighter as she spoke.

Again Kakashi chose not to answer, instead he just enveloped her with his own arms and rested his cheek on the top of her head using his hands on her shoulders to pull her tighter into the embrace as he reflected on the situation.

He recalled their conversation before they had entered the village gates and how petrified she seemed of taking even another step. He remembered her saying how unprepared she felt about seeing her team leader in his current state. The latter was unavoidable, they both knew this but Kakashi was going to allow her the extra five minutes she'd requested because he truly believed that even now she was still just as terrified as she the day before.


	16. Velvet Box

_Hey all, I cannot apologise enough for my inactivity over the past several months. In all honesty I was so close to deleting this fic because of situations that have cropped up in the manga completely killed the muse I had to write this. But the muse was revived somehow and I VOW that I will finish this! Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this, your support has really spurred me on to keep going. I love all of you! Here's hoping that this was worth the wait and yes, I will continue to upload this fic to this site :3_

_Enjoy, Saph x_

* * *

Disclaimer: Naruto - Not mine, at all, how I would change it so dramatically if it was!

_**Velvet Box**_

The afternoon was pleasant, much like the morning had been, but the mood was dampened by the mission the group had been sent to complete. It was going to be a grim day by all accounts and Kakashi had a gut feeling that neither one of the squad was particularly looking forward to it. He knew _he_ wasn't but probably for different reasons than the others.

After rendezvousing at the little tea house with very little verbal exchanges the four of them silently made their way towards the hospital which was conveniently situated out of sight of the rest of the town behind the clinic they had visited the day previous.

Rin led them down a long tree shrouded gravelled path. Small stone shrines not yet worn by weather and some with offerings of fresh flowers and the odd fruit were dotted along the track supposedly in memory of those that hadn't made it to the hospital grounds. The thought that people had died from this horrible illness along this very path sent a frosty chill up the length of Kakashi's spine. It wasn't in his nature to be bothered by such things, he hunted and killed people for a living after all, but the thought bothered him nonetheless.

He chose to focus his visual attention on his destination just as the huge behemoth of a building came in to view from behind the tall trees that shrouded the path. The hospital was a cold, sterile building and looked more like a warehouse from the outside than a place to house the sick. There wasn't a window in sight which made the shell look more bleak and lifeless. The build was modern, that much was obvious but it seemed that very little care was taken to design it around the backdrop of the village it was stationed. It was so surreal and out-of-place for want of a better way to describe it.

Kakashi hated hospitals, hated the smell, the clinical atmosphere and the idea of being surrounded by sick people. It was a shallow perception of such a place. Any town or village would fall apart at the seams without one and the copy ninja had spent more than his fair share of time within the walls of one hospital or another. He was thankful for the care he'd received over the years but that didn't mean he particularly liked it. Nine times out of ten he would be forced on a liquid diet, his stomach far too fragile to even contemplate solid food and he would lose far more weight than he could stand to lose in the first place. That and most of the medication he would receive during his time there would often make him sick which all but obliterated his appetite anyway. It was rare he left feeling any better than when he was first admitted.

At least Konoha Hospital was friendlier on the eye than this place…

Eventually they reached the entrance path to the hospital bordered by pretty hedges and shrubs that completely contradicted the building's ambience. Kakashi mimicked Rin's motions as she slowly ground to a halt before her feet hit the paving stones that lead to the hospital doors. There was no breeze that played with her hair or clothes, no sounds to tell that she was speaking or even movement to suggest that she was even breathing. It was almost as if she had been frozen in time by the sight of the hard construction in front of her.

Tenzou and Sakura did the same and came to slow stop either side of the copy nin as they all seemed to wait for her confirmation to continue although Kakashi was more than aware that Rin was merely preparing herself to step forward. The trio stood behind her didn't speak even though the minutes were ticking by. They all felt her apprehension be that for personal reasons or simply empathy.

She hadn't said anything else when they had both been in the hotel room, just merely requested an extra five minutes of his time, to pretend that she didn't have to come here, to pretend that she wasn't here at all. The more time Kakashi spent with her on this trip the more insight he managed to get of her state of mind and now she was in a very dark place. The only way he could describe the vibes he was receiving from her was like she was trapped in a nightmare but he was at a complete loss about what he could do about it. The only thing he could physically do now was just be there.

Eventually, sensing that she was again struggling with that inner demon that was preventing her from moving on, Kakashi stepped warily around her and stopped by her side. He shifted his gaze her way in the slim hopes that he would gain a reaction to be rewarded with a slight grimace pulling her mouth downwards and the tight knitting of her dark eyebrows.

Opening his mouth he prepared to speak to simply ask her if she was ready to keep going but she intercepted him by flicking her unreadable eyes his way which in turn caused him to clamp his mouth shut.

"Welcome to hell," she croaked eventually with a grim smile before she sluggishly began to trudge down the path towards the huge double glass doors of the complex.

* * *

The hospital was just how she remembered it; grey, cold, sterile and dead to the core. Sure there were people and medical staff milling around like in any other hospital but this place had an atmosphere about it that made it different to any other place she had worked. Rin swallowed audibly if only in a frail attempt to still her pounding heart from springing right out of her chest as she continued to force her herself forward towards the long white desk at the far end of the front foyer.

An older woman sat behind it in her throne of worn polyester but her scornful face was just as unwelcoming as it had ever been back in the day when Rin used to actually work here. The woman shot her cold steel eyes upwards as she approached and fixed her with that very same chilling glare the sent those old familiar pangs of fear shooting through her gut.

"You're late, Nohara" the old silver-haired woman snarled baring yellowed teeth as she spoke before dropping her horrible eyes back to the paper work her attention had previously sat.

"Late?" Rin repeated not understanding how she could be late seeing as she had only been sent here little over five days ago.

"Your arrival was due yesterday and we can do without dead bodies littering our morgue as it is. Doctor Kenshin is less than pleased. But with you that's no surprise, is it?" She explained in a much more regal manner than before, sitting up in her old battered chair and folding her hands over the papers on her desk.

How _dare_ she. How dare she speak so callously of a man who had done nothing but help this wretched town, a man who'd gone the extra mile and sacrificed his own life in a bid to save thousands. It took every ounce of willpower Rin had not to lunge across the desk and bury her fist in this evil woman's horrible face. Biting her tongue hard the brunette simply narrowed her eyes at her but chose not to argue. Her efforts would be fruitless; no one ever won a debate with this woman so there was no point even trying. Not only that but arguing her point would just waste precious time. The less time she spent here the better for her sanity.

This was someone else Rin had never been all that fond of though she had managed to brush this woman's taunts and jibes away for the most part. She was just an annoyance more than anything but she had spent most of her years trying her best to avoid her. The medic had known this woman for a decade but she had never bothered to learn her name, though it was mentioned to her on more than one occasion. Rin simply addressed her as Ma'am, as did any other medic-nin who was stationed here. She wasn't kunoichi or anyone of a medical profession, she was simply an admin but this title didn't stop her from talking down to everyone that addressed her.

She was one of Kenshin's lackeys; she could do no wrong in his eyes which gave Rin the sizable hint that there was something going on between the pair of them. This had since been disproven by various sources of proof but it usually gave Rin something to giggle about when she had a spare few moments, those of which were pretty rare, just one of her guilty pleasures back in the day.

When Rin declined to answer (as it seemed the older woman was indeed fishing for an argument and was openly disappointed when Rin didn't retaliate) she reached for a large time-worn book to her left, dragged it over the desk in front of her and jabbed at one of the pages with a long bony finger.

"Sign the register and make your way to Doctor Kenshin's office. He wishes to speak to you but your _friends_ will need to stay here," she taunted with a dry knowing smile.

Rin picked up one of the many pens scattered around the desk before she answered flatly, "This is my squad. I'm not going anywhere without them. If Kenshin has anything to say to me then he can say it in front of my team, ma'am."

The woman twisted her mouth in distaste obviously noting the defiant tone in Rin's voice. Perhaps this would be one instance where she wouldn't try to argue back and judging by the harsh sigh after she had taken a good long look at the other members of Team Kakashi it seemed Rin had actually won this one. Her victory however was meaningless. Rin had hoped an audience with the vicious Doctor Kenshin could be avoided and now it had been confirmed that – yet again – he was unhappy with her she had yet something else to dread. Today was going from bad to worse very quickly.

A thick silence dropped between them as the group quickly signed the visitor's book before the older woman began to speak again. "You know where Doctor Kenshin's office is. And you have my condolences," she grumbled dejectedly as she pushed the book to one side and continued to stare with a desirable interest at her papers.

The four members of the troupe seemed to crowd at the desk as Rin eyed each of them over apprehensively. She secretly hoped her strong demeanour was showing at this point, but one member of the team in particular was especially gifted at reading her mannerisms so she highly doubted her fear had simply passed his senses.

Eventually she nodded once and beckoned them to follow as she led them into the bowels of the hospital towards the one glass paned door that sometimes kept her awake in the small hours of the night. Rin silently hoped Kenshin showed a little restraint in front of her team though she wasn't entirely certain what she should expect. How she wished she wasn't here, how she longed to see just one friendly face but unfortunately most of the people she had become friendly with here were long gone, either home or to an early grave and all that was left now was the misery.

* * *

They'd been in the room all of ten minutes and already the atmosphere was so thick and stifling it could be sliced with a blunt knife. The four of them stood in formation, Rin at the front while the rest of them stood in a row at her rear, not the best possible place to shield the victim from her attacker. Not that there was much Kakashi could actually say or do at this point but it was plainly obvious to see that she was petrified of this man. Each time he flailed an arm in her general direction as he shouted obscenities at her for displeasing him in this way or that she flinched as though expecting an impact of some sort. Her movements her subtle but they reminded the copy nin of a child being scolded by an aggressive parent. When she wasn't cowering from invisible missiles she stood rigid with both hands fisted by her sides and her head bowed, this wasn't the Rin he knew now and he didn't like it one bit.

She had never mentioned the name of the man who had requested an audience with her today and by the way he spoke (or more rather spat) at her there was no surprise that she had kept quiet about him. She had introduced him to the squad as Doctor Nashi Kenshin (not that he was in the least bit interested in the rest of the group), supposedly the founder of this hospital and the chief of medicine. Perhaps the two latter pieces of information were indeed true, but Kakashi knew this man as something other than the alias he had given to the people here. It was any wonder that he hadn't been pulled up on it long before now but it seemed that he had lucked out for all these years.

Even so, this new alias he had given himself did little to keep his profile low. He was venomous and Kakashi noticed the drop in Rin's tone and meek mannerisms towards him as soon as they entered the small office. As far as he was concerned he knew nothing about this man other than the bounty that had lain on his head for the best part of thirteen years. But for now he would keep quiet even if that white-hot spear plunged into his mind every single time Kenshin opened his mouth and was causing him to lose his usually monstrous grip on his almost nonexistent temper. He couldn't depict the mood of Tenzou or Sakura who stood either side of him, his attention squared solely on the man who was tearing the woman in front of him to shreds.

Eventually that red haze descended on him as that secure grip on himself became more difficult to support, clouding his vision and flooding his head making it impossible to think rationally. The fury in his stomach as it came to the boil frothed into his throat while he stood and listened to the vicious words coming out of this bastard's mouth. He wanted to hurt him, to draw his kunai, slice him open and watch his guts spill out on to the table beneath him. Nothing would please him more now than watching this disgrace of a man die on his feet.

The carnal rage he could feel within him didn't show itself often, Kakashi wasn't quick to anger, but when it did rear its ugly head it was next to impossible to control. He was very much like his father in this aspect, he could stay cool for so very long but once he snapped there was carnage and it could be hours until he would finally come to his senses and cool off but not after venting the steam that had built up so much pressure akin an industrial boiler blowing up in a foundry. It was something the White Fang had so affectionately named _'The Red Haze'._

He kept the dog within himself at bay with a worn leash held together by a mere thread of will power as it clawed and snapped at his mind dying to break free and sink its teeth into Kenshin's withered face. The muscles in his hands twitched next to his weapon holder and the ones in his legs bracing for takeoff but he had to bide his time carefully lest the others get suspicious. He had no intentions of stripping the man of his current title, the bounty on his head was too little for such a risk, and he didn't particularly care about the crime he had committed either. But the woman he was screaming at was _his_, and no one had the god given right to talk to her the way he was doing. _No one_.

The more the doctor spoke the further Rin withdrew not knowing where to put herself or her eyes, he wouldn't give her the opportunity to speak or even defend against what he was accusing her of which served to put her further on edge.

"You never think do you? How many times have I told you to buck your ideas up? I told you to sign the contract before you left, you stupid girl! And to top it all off, not only did you have the audacity to leave the complex without authorisation from me, but you have the brass to turn up late when called upon again!"

"But, doctor, y-you said the hospital c-couldn't a-a-afford..."

"I didn't ask you to speak!"

"Y-yes, Doctor, I ... I'm sorry..."

Kakashi had found himself wondering since her return home why such a huge experience and such a high knowledge of her chosen career hadn't yielded her any confidence or rather much more than she'd had already. The way in which she'd held herself was different from all those years ago but the odd glimmer of doubt had shone through every now and again. He hadn't wanted to ask at the risk of upsetting her further but now he knew. This man had whittled her down to the bone, picking at her constantly with his verbal abuse telling her she was _useless_ , a _waste of space, time, money and energy_. Goodness knows how many other people he'd targeted.

Rin was a fragile creature, like a rare flower growing in a desolate wasteland; she needed nurturing and encouragement not beating over the head with a length of steel. She was the new pride and joy of Konoha hospital, Shizune had told him as much in passing so Kakashi knew better than most how passionate Rin was about her work. Kenshin had probably done the same to countless others and no one within these walls felt they had the power to put him on his ass.

He was about to get the shock of his life.

Quickly unsheathing his sharingan Kakashi focused on the twisted man behind his desk. The very second Kenshin's gaze accidentally settled on his the jutsu activated, that simple touch of eye contact was all it took. He could feel the tomoe of his eye spinning, creating its magic. The pulse in his own brain throbbed set the illusion of time slowing down while the air around him compacted and froze everything in sight other than himself and the man on which he focused. Kakashi's team were nothing more than detailed statues within the confines of the room, now it was just Kakashi and his victim.

The man continued to spray his obscenities despite the fact that Rin was no longer reacting, it seemed the power trip this man was experiencing was so _fucking_ good he simply didn't notice the sudden shift in atmosphere. He obviously found a sick pleasure from beating people down into submission.

"She can't hear you. None of them can," Kakashi stated matter-of-factly. He stepped away from his standing position, leaving behind his ghostly form that had been frozen before he performed the genjutsu, and watched as the man in front stared at him in horror.

"Get back in line, ninja! I am not addressing you," Kenshin snarled, his body snapping rigid as Kakashi stepped closer. It was surprising that he hadn't noticed he was now trapped within his technique, but Kakashi guessed that after all this time he had forgotten even the most basic of what he once knew.

"You weren't, but you are now seeing as it's only me that can hear you and I don't believe I like your tone," he responded smoothly stepping around the desk and watching as the self-proclaimed doctor shuffled back towards his oversized chair.

"What do you think you are doing? I said get back!" the old man hissed barring his teeth at Kakashi like a dog as if this would frighten him in some way. The action served only to make him chuckle under his breath. What a pathetic little man he was.

"I'm thinking that maybe you would like to pick on someone a little bigger than you, to show you how it feels to be on the other side for a change," he droned flatly ensuring eye contact maintained.

"You _like_ to bully people don't you, _Kenshin_? To see them squirm and submit like frightened little puppies at your feet. You like to punish them for your own failings, make them suffer for leading a life in which you failed so miserably. Jealousy is a terrible illness, _Doctor_, sometimes it's even fatal." He spoke calmly not helping the odd twitch of his mouth as he tried not to grin at the man in front of him watching him begin to fall apart inside himself while he started to piece together exactly what was happening.

The jutsu Kakashi had Kenshin under lasted milliseconds in the real world, but here it could last minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months if he wanted it to. This wouldn't be the first time he had used this torture technique, though this time would be nowhere near as brutal as the times he had used it in the past.

The intention was not to break the man completely, but merely to show him that not everyone was as afraid of him as he liked to think. Kakashi liked to lead with a firm but educating authority which earned him the respect of his teams, this man liked to lead with sheer power and aggression, those beneath him too frightened to oppose him. He imagined he had physically hit a few defenceless people in his time just to feel that surge of power over them. Tsunade had her moments when she was still alive, where she would lash out, destroy things in her bare hands and scream until their ears bled. But she'd had respect for her followers, and she'd trusted them. Not like this man. Just looking at him made Kakashi feel sick to his stomach.

"Is that a threat? Because I'll have you know ..." before the doctor could finish speaking a clone stood behind him planted a hand on his shoulder and forced him into his chair. Kenshin dropped into it with a startled cry as he tried to grab the copy's wrist before it was swatted away with a violent slap.

"Sit down and shut the _fuck_ up!" the clone spat viciously making the man wince in his chair. Kakashi had little control on how the clone reacted, his concentration being taken up with maintaining the jutsu, his copy was merely mimicking the anger he was feeling though Kakashi himself was acting as calm and collected as ever.

Kenshin grabbed hold of the arms of the chair as if to stop himself falling through it as Kakashi's clone kept him pinned to the spot.

"Control your bunshin!" the doctor yelped obviously feeling the burn from the pressure his copy applied to his shoulder.

"I'll decide how my clone behaves, thank you," Kakashi replied flatly noting that Kenshin was probably aware that he was under a genjutsu by now and saw no use in trying to fight against it. He was weak-willed as it was; he would only hurt himself if he tried.

"If you don't stop this now I will have you arrested! You'll be executed for harming a civilian!"

"I don't think so," Kakashi chuckled with a slow shake of his head. "You see, my name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm an elite Jounin of Konohagakure and a highly respected and skilled shinobi at that. I don't mean to blow my own trumpet or anything, I'm not one for gloating, but I don't think anyone will believe what you have to say over me."

"Sh-Sharingan Kakashi... The C-Copy-cat Ninja...?" the man whispered in nothing more than a shaken breath. "I will see that Konoha has your head for this..."

Within the second Kakashi was in front of him, both hands straddling the chair in which he sat with his face thrust into that of the doctors earning him another one of those startled gasps.

"Ah, so you've heard of me? That's quite strange for someone who claims to be a civilian living in a small town such as Machenich. I imagine rumours pass through such little places but civilians don't usually take much notice of grapevine from the ninja classes. How curious..."

"No-Nohara said ..."

He felt the dog within bite again at the mere mention of Rin's name, its teeth sinking into his senses and telling him to destroy this man where he sat. Considering what he knew about him now it would be no less than he deserved. The man was a deserter, a traitor to his people. Scum.

"Don't you _dare_ blame her. I know for a fact she never once mentioned my name to you," Kakashi snarled, his voice dripping with a venom he wasn't sure he liked but had no power over at the time. He disliked this man using her name for anything and he was damned if he was to let him say it again. Kakashi glared at the old man, who looked far frailer now than he did before the genjutsu hit, not that he was going to let that faze him. The man was a criminal he deserved no better treatment.

"Would you like me to tell you how I know this?" he mused, raising an eyebrow at him while keeping the man's gaze trapped in his own.

Kenshin didn't answer and simply stared at him with dull grey eyes. Kakashi didn't know that Rin hadn't mentioned him to the doctor but by the way he spoke to her - or rather spat at her - just now he doubted very much that she said anything to him socially at all. The way he snapped his mouth closed suggested that she hadn't mentioned him and that was enough for Kakashi to take the next step of the routine.

"I can see everything, I can see your fear of me, I can see the spilled blood from the people you left to die in the dust plains of Earth, I can see into your soul and all the pain you caused all those years ago. You used to be a shinobi in the war, didn't you? Dishonourably discharged for the mass manslaughter of the men under your command. You were branded a coward, shunned by your village and your clan..."

"I didn't kill them..."

"You left them to die by the hands of your enemy while you retreated into the mountains. You had the ability _and _the opportunity to help them but your own skin was worth more to you than those of your men, those that depended on you and your guidance. In my book that is as good as _murder_. No shinobi worth his salt would abandon his own squad. Not unless a mission depended on it, and it seems that was not the case."

Kenshin's expression didn't change and the only time he broke eye contact was when the clone dug its nails into his shoulder as Kakashi spoke making him hiss inwardly and squirm in his seat. This man held no shame and Kakashi had never felt more disgusted to be in a man's presence.

All the information he held on Kenshin was from outdated bingo books although there was still a warrent out for the capture of this man, for betraying his people and leaving them to die.

His real name was Saito Akira, a wanted deserter from Earth Country who abandoned his team when he discovered Suna had crossed the border they were sent to patrol. Rather than order his team to retreat he just ran and left them there. All of them were slaughtered the entire area had been a blood bath and the talk of all the lands for years.

Somehow he'd escaped from any execution penalties and put himself into exile. He had disappeared off the face of the planet and miraculously ended up here as a frail old man, in front of Kakashi, pinned to a chair by his bunshin and trapped in a genjutsu so powerful he could render him into dust with a single movement of his eye.

"How do you think your hospital team will react if they were to conveniently find out about your dark past, _Akira_? May I call you Akira? What if Machenich found out that you were once one of _us_, that you abandoned your own squad to face their deaths without even a second thought or a glance over your shoulder? Do you think you would be so well-respected then? Because I highly doubt that."

"You wouldn't..."

"That depends. Are you going to play nice with us today? Or do I have to break some bones?" The clone squeezed down on his shoulder again making him wince and emit a small groan as the grip he had on his chair tightened.

"Your co-operation on this really matters to me," he deadpanned, placing a hand over his chest as if to signify how important it was. Not that it mattered at all, Kakashi was confident the old man would submit to him and he would learn a valuable lesson from it. That there were bigger, meaner people out there and he should start to watch his step. He couldn't hide behind his powerful role forever and Kakashi had just proven that point to him.

"What do you want from me, copy-cat?" the old man ground out between clenched teeth.

Kakashi hummed at him as he reached for a stray grey hair that rested on Akira's shoulder and flicked it away. If there was one thing he knew made men like this increasingly uncomfortable it was little actions like this that simulated affection. It showed disrespect and total disregard for personal space and it seemed with the harsh narrowing of his deep grey eyes that he was not impressed by the action at all.

"I want you to end this meeting and send us on our way; we are working to a schedule after all. And I want you to amend the way you treat your medics. These people were sent to help a town that desperately needed it and you should show more respect, they risked their lives for this place and some even died because of it, one of those we are collecting today," Kakashi explained in the most courteous tone he had. His next spiel, however, was delivered much more darkly, "Also if you so much as _look_ at Rin or any other member of my team the wrong way again while we're here I will make your existence very uncomfortable. Do I make myself clear?"

"You're not the first to threaten me..."

"I'm not surprised, but I imagine I'm the first one to actually mean what I say. I know _what_ you really are, Akira, and I can make things very difficult for you."

Akira tried to drop his gaze but the hypnotising swirl of the sharingan prevented him from doing so as he thought about his options. He swallowed hard eventually realising he didn't have much choice but to comply.

"Will you release the jutsu if I agree to your terms?"

"Yes."

"And you will keep what you know about me to yourself?"

"...Yes." Kakashi didn't want to agree to the last part of this verbal contract, he could quite happily turn him over to the hands of the village and let them deal with him, but that would make him no better than the doctor himself, just another callous bastard with no morals.

Akira had obviously tried to turn his life around, he was running an entire hospital after all, but that didn't mean he should be treated as any less than a criminal. Kakashi wouldn't be the one to turn him in; he had no mission on hand that requested he be captured and his name hadn't been raised for years so he was safe enough to keep quiet about his whereabouts for now.

The only _personal_ gripe Kakashi had with this man was how he had treated Rin, how he had all but destroyed what little self-esteem she had, he didn't much care about anything else, that and the ninja Akira had abandoned were enemies of Konoha at the time. During the war it didn't matter what happened to them as long as they stayed the hell away from the borders of Fire Country.

Kakashi would always hold a deep resentment for Rock ninja, it was them that had kidnapped Rin, took away his eye and killed his best friend. It wasn't something he could just forgive and forget, though he had put his bitterness towards them away when the villages became united many years ago, but that simply wasn't enough to cull the pain he still felt, that Rin still felt.

"Then I agree, now let me go..."

"After I tell you the conditions of the release. You are to follow the orders I just gave to you, but if I hear that you have failed to keep to your side of the bargain then I will have no choice but to inform the Tsuchikage of your whereabouts. You will be captured and tried for the manslaughter of your squad. You will lose everything you've gained here so it's in your best interests that you do as you're told. Is that understood?"

"When you leave here you won't even know..."

"I know a lot of people around these parts, Akira, so I have my sources. And believe it or not, I'm not a very nice man when you fuck with me and the things I care about. You're not going to do that to me, are you?"

He didn't answer.

"What I'm asking isn't unreasonable. Keep your head down and be nice. Do those things and you'll have nothing to worry about."

Again Kenshin didn't speak, but Kakashi took his silence as an agreement. He raised a hand and patted the side of the doctor's face in a purposely patronising manner.

"There's a good boy. See? It all works out in the end when we just learn to play nicely together, don't you think?" he quipped giving him a concealed smile that was far more menacing than friendly. Kakashi knew he was considered as something of a scatter brain, aloof and away with the fairies, but he meant business this time. And he was certain Akira knew what would happen to him if he tried to approach his team again while they were in Machenich so there was no need to voice any more threats.

He stood up from his crouch and backed away towards his original standing point, his shimmering silhouette still waiting for him to return.

Reaching that spot next to Sakura he released the clone to which Kenshin moaned in relief hunched forwards on his chair and rubbed tenderly at the shoulder his bunshin had used to keep him seated.

It didn't take long for the room to return to normal, the stifling air cleared, the clock above the door began to tick again as the rest of the team gradually came back to life while Kakashi stood in his original spot looking like nothing had happened. He adjusted his hitai-ate on his head to conceal his most famous weapon as he allowed the darker of his two eyes to drift over to Rin.

She still stood with her head hung low on her shoulders so chances were that she wouldn't have known a thing about the jutsu with her emotions overruling her senses. He sensed Sakura glance his way which caused him to tilt his attention to her. She knew what had just happened with that stern expression in her eyes that said _'you should have let me deal with him'_ but she soon turned her attention back to the desk. She knew better than to question him about it.

Akira – or _Kenshin_ as he liked to be called now - busied himself with papers strewn about his desk, simply playing along with the rules of Kakashi's game for a few moments until he lifted his head. His gaze ghosted over Rin but only briefly until his grey eyes settled back on the copy nin with whom he was unable to keep eye contact with for very long.

"I've said my piece. Now get out, I have work to do," he rasped turning his attention to a document and began to scribble on it with the quill he snatched from the inkwell on his desk.

Not as pleasant as Kakashi had hoped but it was enough to get them out of there. The group turned on their heels and left but Rin was the last one out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it resting the back of her head on the wood with a long shaky sigh as the others crowded around her.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that..." she quivered lowering her head towards her feet as she sighed again deeply.

"The guy's an ass, Rin-sensei. You shouldn't let people talk to you like that. If that were me I would have punched him right in his foul mouth," Sakura bit out, raising a gloved fist in demonstration. Kakashi felt her input wouldn't help but it served to make Rin chuckle a little at the thought of smacking the guy in the face.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time, Sakura, thanks," she giggled.

Kakashi was more than certain there wasn't going to be a _next time_.

"We should get going," Tenzou interjected prompting the troupe to turn and begin making their way down the long corridor.

Kakashi took only one step until a strong hand slapped him on the chest forcing him to stop in his tracks. He turned his attention to Rin who was preventing him from moving with her arm, she was still glaring at the floor and he could feel her body shaking through the vibrations in her hand thrumming through his vest.

"I know you did something in there. I _felt_ it happen, it was so quick I didn't have the time to react but I _know_ you did something I'm not supposed to know about," she murmured as though she feared being heard by anyone else as she flitted her watery eyes at him. Fresh tears were clinging for dear life on the rims of her lower eyelids and stray strands of hair that fell over her hitai-ate bobbed around her face as her whole body shivered. She was still shaken up over the ordeal and Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, if only to try to calm her down but was silenced by a sharp movement of her other hand.

"I don't _want_ to know what you did, and I don't _want_ to know what you said to him. But thank you ..." her voice broke at that point.

"... Thank you for just making him stop," she whimpered squeezing her eyes shut and allowing one single tear to escape her eye and roll down her cheek as she lowered her head.

"Hey, don't cry," he whispered at her, lifting her head back up with a single finger under her chin before using the thumb of the same hand to wipe away that one single tear as she opened her eyes again. "You don't have to worry about him anymore, okay? All you have to do now is focus on what you need to do next. Forget about Kenshin, he doesn't have a hold on you anymore. I'm here to look after you and that's what I'm doing."

He saw her smile her lips thin yet genuine as she closed her eyes again and nodded her head confidently.

"Are you okay?" he asked again only to gain some reassurance from her.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay," she replied still shaken but more herself than before.

He offered her a smile of his own and used the opportunity to run his fingers over the soft skin of her face one more time before he offered a hand out in front of him for Rin to lead the way to the morgue. This was a moment he knew she had dreaded the second she had found out her team leader had died here. This next step was going to be the hardest one for her to take and even Kakashi wasn't looking forward to the fallout of this one.

* * *

The team was led by Rin into an expansive office area with a large desk at the far end of the room. Huge steel double doors sat behind it that led to their final destination for that day. Rin eyed them over feeling that sickening knot of discomfort roll around in her stomach as she approached the young girl sat typing rapidly into a computer at the desk.

"Hi, Tsusami, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she said softly placing her hands on the table as the red-head in front lifted her head and eyed her over.

"Rin-senpai!" She squealed lunging across the desk and catching the dark-haired medic in her arms almost to the point of ending up in a heap on the floor.

"Wow, pleased to see me?" Rin chortled as she gently wrapped her fingers around the girl's shoulders and pushed her back to get a good look at the girl who had technically been her apprentice for the past five years.

She was young, seventeen if she remembered rightly and she was very loud and boisterous. Tsusami was no kunoichi, being the daughter of one of the council heads of the town it was forbidden for her to have any extensive ninja training. But there was no harm in teaching her a thing or two about research into the deceased. She was genuinely interested in that field and Rin had hoped that one day she would be mature enough to take over her role at the hospital. By the looks of things she had a long way to go yet.

Tsusami had begun her time at the hospital when she was just thirteen as a personal assistant to one of the doctors who had worked alongside Rin in the pathology department, but after he retired and left Rin with the responsibility of running the department poor Tsusami had seemed a little lost and out of the loop. She had no one to serve anymore and it upset her, though she still turned up every day and offered assistance where she could.

Rin had felt pity for the young red-head and had offered to show her a thing or two about pathology if she so wished it. Tsusami had jumped at the chance and the two of them had spent many a shift learning and dissecting together. Not a romantic image by any stretch of the imagination but it had meant something to both of them and they had developed a strong relationship between them so she guessed it didn't matter what anyone else thought.

"Pleased? _Pleased?_ I'm so happy you came back! I didn't want you to go, Senpai! Are you here to stay?" she cried just as she clocked the other three members of Team Kakashi standing to her rear. It was then she felt the girl go completely rigid finally realising the reason she had come back to Machenich and understanding that it was in no way a social call.

She lowered herself from Rin smoothing her small dainty hands over her shoulders as she took to staring blankly at the space between them before she spoke, the sound of her voice a mere vibration against the refrigeration unit connected to the morgue.

"I'm so sorry. I... I wasn't thinking..." was all she said before she shot her coy eyes about the team once more. "You're here for Satoshi-san, aren't you?"

"Yes, Tsusami... we won't be staying long. I'm sorry," Rin replied softly, stroking a loving hand on the young girls arm. She looked disappointed then, her brow knitting together as Rin spoke. Her expression made the brunette feel somewhat hollow but there were no two ways about it. Tsusami had asked questions about Rin's past and her village, had even shown an interest in travelling with her when she had announced she was leaving. But Rin couldn't take the girl with her no matter how much she'd wanted to at the time.

"Who will be entering the morgue? We only allow two people of an identifying party because of health and safety regulations," Tsusami reeled flatly.

"Just me..." Rin started as she was interrupted by Kakashi who had stepped out from the crowd of the team and was now stood at her side.

"And me," he said somewhat listlessly. It sounded like he didn't particularly want to go into the morgue so Rin used his tone of voice as an advantage to throw him off. She didn't need him to hold her hand through this; she had seen more dead people than he'd had hot dinners. She was quite capable of handling this herself.

"No, Kakashi, I can do this on my own," she growled feeling more than annoyed when he turned his flat unreadable gaze towards her.

"I'm not giving you the choice," he droned flatly.

Rin narrowed her eyes at him, how _dare_ he. Kakashi was there for support yes, but he wasn't there to make her feel like a hopeless child playing an adults game. But even with the hideous glare she gave him his expression remained focused and unfazed which caused her to eventually be the first to break eye contact. Rin decided to let the comment slide for now but she was certain there would be a harsh exchange of words between them when this ordeal was over. Kakashi had totally disregarded how she wanted to handle this situation, had taken her own judgement into his own hands screwed it up and threw it back in her face and she was going to make him realise it by the end of the day.

She turned her attention back to Tsusami who stood with her head lowered and her hands folded in front of her. She nodded once, turned on her heel and led Rin and Kakashi through the large metallic doors that led to the refrigerated hold of the dead. As the doors swung open and the moment the chill hit her full force Rin felt her body still to the core, her head screaming at her to turn and run before it was too late. She didn't want to see Satoshi lying on his bed of hard metal, she didn't want to see him lying there ... dead. She wasn't ready for this, she just wasn't ready.

Just then a warm gloved hand made itself known on her shoulder which startled her and caused her to turn her head briskly to gaze at Kakashi who was looking down at her with that eye that was almost unreadable, almost, but not quite.

'_This is why I'm here,'_ was all his expression said and then she understood why he had invited himself into this room, because he knew she didn't feel ready, he knew she wouldn't be able to handle this by herself. He knew how weak she was... she hated him for that, she hated herself for that, but she loved him for steering her along and forcing her to get on with it. Kakashi was the fire in her furnace and his flame was burning brighter now than she ever recalled.

Closing her eyes Rin sighed deeply as she lifted a hand and gently placed it over his. She felt his fingers press into her shoulder as she squeezed his hand just to let him know how grateful she was for him just being there. Were it not for him she wouldn't have even stepped into through the town gates for a second time because Kakashi was the fire in her furnace driving her forward, making her feel stronger than she felt she actually was.

* * *

The room was bitterly cold and sterile, the walls lined with small narrow lockers each one designated to a corpse. The idea that he was surrounded by dead people was a little unnerving but this was certainly not the first time he'd been inside a morgue. That didn't mean he would ever get accustomed to it.

Kakashi took the time to gaze around the area, not that there was much to see in here as the girl led them to the far side of the room. No one was talking, which was no surprise, there was a time and a place for conversation and now certainly wasn't it. Eventually they reached a drawer sunk into the wall at waist height as young Tsusami gazed up at Rin apprehensively.

The brunette simply nodded once, obviously wanting to get this over with, the quicker the better Kakashi could imagine. Tsusami didn't respond as such, she merely turned towards the drawer, grasped the handle and began to pull it out walking backwards as the drawer revealed its contents.

Plumes of frozen air billowed out of the drawer and forced both Kakashi and Rin to shield their eyes from the blast, but the corpse that lay on his bed of stainless steel soon became visible as the icy clouds began to dissipate. He heard Rin suck in her breath as she laid eyes on the body of her team leader which caused Kakashi to focus on her initially.

A hand was clasped firmly to her mouth, her other arm hugging her midriff against the cold of the room. Her eyes were wider than he'd ever seen them and he could see her trembling through the slight vibrations her body sent through her hair.

He allowed his eye to drift to the body on the drawer bed and as he focused on the corpse he felt nothing but pity for the poor man. The skin of the body was almost white possibly due to the chilling process used to preserve the carcass but even then Kakashi was able to actually see the effects the illness he'd contracted had on him.

There wasn't an ounce of muscle, the body wasted away and all that remained were the jutting bones and sagging flesh. There seemed to be lesions on his skin which he could only assume were the sores Rin had spoken of when she described the Rot to him and his team. It was unclear just by looking at the corpse exactly what had killed him, be that a bleed out or organ failure, only the post-mortem would yield such answers and it seemed the operation had already been carried out via the Y-cut carved into his chest.

The sight was nauseating which in turn caused the copy nin to turn away habitually. Never before had he seen anything so grotesque and stomach churning and his unintentional audible swallow caught the dark-haired medic's attention if only for a second. Fleeting images invaded his mind, images he didn't want to see but was forced to witness regardless. It was so easy to think of the if's the but's and the why's and that was exactly what he was doing right now.

"_It could have been her..."_ that horrendous taunting voice chimed in his head forcing mismatched eyes closed in a frail attempt to stem the thought from consuming him whole. Yes, that body in front of them could have been her, there was every chance that Rin could have been infected with this debilitating disease... but she hadn't and Kakashi refused to allow himself to think so negatively for a single moment longer. That was until the brunettes voice broke the silence so deafening against the thrum of the unit that kept the room so bitterly cold.

"Papers, Tsusami," Rin demanded listlessly to be handed a distinctive brown folder that supposedly held the details needed to transfer the body back to Konoha.

Kakashi watched as she opened the file and began to filter through the pages with nimble fingers her expression changing rapidly from one of grief to horror. Twice she turned back to a previous page before snatching it back to repeatedly read briskly through the ones that came after.

Something was terribly wrong...

"Tsusami, who was in charge of Satoshi's care after I left?" she asked, her voice now holding a tremor of what Kakashi had supposedly mistaken for anger.

"Yumi-san, senpai..." the girl answered somewhat meekly.

"Is something the matter?" Kakashi interjected taking a step towards the older woman in the hopes that he could gain an insight of the information in that file that was no causing more distress than was really needed. He was rewarded with a vicious glare from the dark-haired medic before she snapped the file closed and stalked past him all but knocking him out of her path as she exited the refrigerated room.

"Rin?!" he called after her though by the time he'd reached the opening she was already making her way back into the corridor. To say that he knew something was wrong was an understatement. He'd never seen her react like that before and the fact that she'd pretty much ignored his own concern was a worrying factor all in itself.

Both Yamato and Sakura who were now sat on the many chairs that lined the room seemed equally as shocked as he was as they both stood to attention and eyed the copy nin over apprehensively.

Whatever was going on, Kakashi had a strong uncomfortable feeling that this Yumi was at the source of the issue and this did not bode well.

"Kakashi-sensei?" came the quizzical feminine voice of Sakura silenced only by the raised hand he offered her to confirm that he was dealing with the situation.

"You and Yamato need to deal with Satoshi's remains. I'm giving you authority to sign the relevant paper work," he drawled as legs that didn't seem to belong to him began to carry him towards the threshold that led to the main body of the hospital.

"Then what? Kaka-sensei?!"

A quick turn on his heel to address them didn't halt his journey instead trotting backwards towards the door, if he stopped now there was a chance he could lose Rin in this labyrinth of a building. A risk he felt he couldn't take.

"Rendezvous with me at the tea house in two hours. I'll issue new orders then. Just make the document transfer for now."

With that said he span back towards his destination, searching for the girl he was chasing with an extension of his own chakra to seek hers. Lucky for him she wasn't too far away.

* * *

How could she, how could she after all the advice and caution Rin had given her how could she retract the medication perscribed to Satoshi and allow him to degenerate into an early grave? How _could_ she?

They both knew he was dying, both knew that there was nothing else they could do for him other than make his stunted existence as painless as possible with the hopes that the treatment he was receiving would extend his life as far as it could possibly go. But no, Yumi had to take it into her own hands and take him off the medication allowing the Rot to eat him alive. There had to be a reason, there had to be and the only thing on Rin's mind right now was getting to the absolute bottom of it. The papers didn't suggest a replacement drug, not a specific one...

How could she?

Rin would find her and make her pay for what she'd done, for all but murdering their team leader for forcing him to die before his time and before long after skimming the main corridors she had found her in the locker rooms situated on the far side of the hospital.

The door swung open almost coming away at the hinges with the force Rin had applied to it causing it to crash and rattle against the lockers behind it. The girl in front of her spun around and stared at her for a second as though she didn't recognise the woman she had worked so closely with for the best part of a decade.

"Hello, Yumi," she bit out through clenched teeth as she held up the file in her hand. The blonde in front of her smiled suddenly until she registered the tone of Rin's less than happy demeanour and dropped her gaze to the space between them.

"Rin-senpai... let me explain..."

"Oh you'll do that," she snapped stepping into the room, the anger frothing into her gullet, a horrible sensation she hadn't felt for a very long time and one she had hoped she would never feel again but had no will to fight at this point. Today had been devastating and to think that this one person, this girl she had called her friend for the majority of her life since joining Konoha Academy as a child, had allowed a man in her care to die without the treatment he so desperately needed was enough to make her sick to her stomach.

"You can start by telling me why you denied Satoshi his medication!"

* * *

It was common knowledge that one didn't run in a hospital hallway but Kakashi, as much as he strived for rule and order, had been slightly bending this rule to catch up with the woman he was pursuing. Skidding around corners and almost bumping into the throngs of medical staff and patients wasn't doing him any favours. Each one was offered a listless apology but most were rewarded with less than amused scowls or a click of the tongue.

But still he drove on in the hopes that he would catch up to Rin before she did or said something she would later regret.

'_Fantastic job you've done on keeping a tight hold on this situation, Hatake.' _His inner voice chanted in that same vicious drone as always. Kakashi growled inwardly trying to banish the thoughts back to the bowels from which it came at first unsuccessfully until he spied the brunette he was searching for push her way through a glass panelled door.

Briskly Kakashi followed forcing his way into the room to find himself submerged in a flurry of angry shouts from one party and the meek stutters from the blonde girl opposite, a girl that he knew but only vaguely recognised from many years ago. It seemed by the way Rin was still waving her file in her hand and accusing the girl in her line of fire of being _'corrupted'_ and _'negligent'_ that she hadn't noticed him enter the room that was until the blonde raised her eyes at him as he made his way around Rin to come between her and her victim.

"That's enough, Rin! You of all people should know not to drop off the deep end in regards to such sensitive subjects," he warned ensuring his body blocked her target from view.

She looked at him with hateful eyes the fire within burning so deeply he swore he could feel the heat from the pyres in her irises on his skin.

"Keep out of this, this has nothing to do with you," she bit out leaning to one side to gain another viewing of the girl behind him only to be disappointed when Kakashi mimicked her movements.

"Senpai, please..." Came the whittled call from the blonde, what was her name again... Yumi?

"I really think you should take the time to listen to what she has to say, Rin," he drawled widening his solitary eye at her to make sure she was aware that she was in fact being irrational.

Rin gasped at him, seeming to struggle for breath as she raised a hand and pointed it accusingly at the girl behind him. "You're ... you're defending _her?_" She breathed blinking up at him with astonishment.

"I'm not on anyone's side, Rin, but you need to calm down and think about what you're doing," he said a lot firmer this time. He reached towards her to grasp her shoulders thinking that the contact would still her nerves long enough for her to realise how unreasonable she was being, but she swatted his hands away viciously fixing him with that hateful glare that burned into him.

"Don't tell me to calm down! Who the _hell_ do you think you are? You're supposed to be here to _support_ me!" she squealed thrusting a finger in his face an action to which he merely narrowed his eyes in displeasure.

"Rin-senpai, please..." Yumi whimpered from the background. It was clear the girl was crying by the quiver in her voice but Rin wasn't herself and she merely shot her vicious eyes and her accusing finger in her direction before screaming, "Shut up, Yumi! Just shut your mouth!"

Kakashi felt himself snap at that point, he needed to nip this in the bud before it got way out of hand. He grabbed Rin by the wrist and twisted her arm upwards to which she whimpered more in shock than anything else. The action wasn't enough for it to hurt but enough for her to at least realise that he was serious.

"That's enough!" he shouted knowing he shouldn't have let it get this far in the first place. "What's all this going to solve? Do you really think blaming Yumi is going to put all this right? You sound like that Kenshin when you're like this!"

The words had left him before he'd had the chance to fully process them in his head and the horror he could see in Rin's eyes confirmed that the insult had not been taken all that well.

"Rin, I..." he started in an attempt to retract his earlier statement, suddenly interrupted by a harsh shunt to his ribcage as the brunette slammed the file in her hand into his chest. Kakashi grunted in response before looking down at her offensive hand and raised his own automatically to take the paperwork from her.

"Save your breath, Kakashi," she hissed through barred teeth before whirling herself around and stalking through the door back into the corridor.

The hurt in her features coupled with her vicious tone stung but he guessed it was the best reaction he could have received from such a callous mishap on his part. She thought he was overstepping his boundaries; perhaps he was though his only goal had been to try and make her see sense. Not that he had any inkling about the problem in the first place.

He sensed Yumi move from behind him as he stood there watching the woman he was trying to help walk away, the echo of her heels hitting tiles ringing in his ears. She wasn't going far, he was sure of that much, just to find that part of herself she'd lost here, that part of herself that she had briefly spoken about the night before. She would find him again before the day was out; if not then he would go looking for her. For now he would grant her the space needed to collect the scattered fragments of her mind.

"Let her go, Yumi," he droned as he saw the ex-medic-nin try for the door. She turned to look at him with saddened eyes as if looking for a second confirmation that she should obey his word though she did silently as she allowed her hand to drift back to her side.

Kakashi took the time to scout over the outer fold of the file in his hand, crumpled slightly in the centre by the impact of having it thrust into his chest. Opening it, despite his lack of authority to do so, he examined the fine print presented to him with a picture of the man he had not long saw lying derelict on a steel slab. At lease the copy nin could only assume it was the same man.

With short raven black hair and a smile fit for grabbing the attention of the ladies, the person staring up at him from the folder could have been anyone other than the corpse lying in the morgue. He was handsome, by Kakashi's standards anyway and he recognised him as one of Konoha's many male medics. He didn't know him personally, had never known his name until very recently but to think that this was the same man his team had been tasked to collect was sad in every sense of the word.

He flicked through the papers not quite understanding the medical terms used in the diagnostic of his condition and rapid deterioration but one simple statement stood out among the rest and clarified Rin's sudden outburst.

_Medication not suitable for patient. Alternative treatments prescribed, proved ineffective._

There was no other information within the folder that explained why the treatment had been changed or why it didn't work hence Rin's reaction to the file back in the morgue and suddenly her spat with this girl stood sheepishly in front of him made a lot more sense.

"You were in charge of the prescriptions?" he asked dully.

"Yes."

"Any reason why the paper work wasn't completed then, Yumi?"His tone was a little darker than before as he shifted his lone grey eye to focus on her.

She swallowed audibly before dropping her gaze to the space between them with a heavy sigh. It was more than clear that the blonde knew the file was incomplete and the shame of her actions radiated through her meek demeanour.

"Do you even realise how serious this is? You could lose your job over this, Yumi, what were you thinking? You're lucky it was Rin that picked up on the blunder and not someone higher up the chain," he scolded, more concerned about getting to the bottom of the situation than getting her into any sort of trouble.

"I know, I know," she whined eventually. "I didn't leave it unfinished on purpose, but Satoshi-san was my team leader too... it's not just Rin-senpai that had to deal with it, when she left I was expected to pick up where she left off and it was hard, Kakashi-san... it was really hard..." She trailed off, pulling her arms around herself as if to protect herself from a non-existent chill. ".. That's no excuse I know. But... I dunno, Kakashi-san, I guess I was afraid of his death being so... so final."

They were the words of a little girl in denial. There was no excuse to leave such important documentation incomplete regardless of what that documentation actually meant. Even so, Kakashi declined to argue her point and with a heavy sigh he closed the file in his hand and passed it to the girl in front of him.

She stood there staring with a desirable interest at the tiles at her feet for a while before coyly lifting her gaze to meet Kakashi's once more. "Are you going to report me, Kakashi-san?"

"I'm not going to say anything but this needs completing within the next two hours. Do you think you can manage that?" he drawled as Yumi wearily took the folder from him with a small nod of her head.

"Do you think Rin-senpai will ever speak to me again?" she asked quietly wincing awkwardly as she gazed up at him with saddened blue eyes.

He shrugged a response shifting his weight from one foot to the other before he spoke. "It's been a less than pleasurable day. But I'm sure she'll come to her senses soon. Give her time," he reassured with a concealed smile to which he was rewarded with an uncertain smile of hers. A silence dropped into the room at that point which Kakashi took as his cue to leave.

"Just drop the file off at the morgue when you're done with it, Yumi," he said flatly motioning to leave before having his attention pulled back to her with a tug of his sleeve.

"Wait, Kakashi-san. I have something that belongs to Rin. Satoshi wanted me to give it her but..." she trailed off as she pulled her lower lip into her mouth seemingly searching for words she couldn't find until finding a will to continue. "I have to pick up my daughter but I can have the files done within the hour. Will you meet me at Hime's tea house... please?"

* * *

It was a rare occasion that the copy nin would find himself being left alone with a young child. More often than not these occasions were awkward and traumatising for both parties, especially him.

Kakashi wasn't terribly fond of children, not that he couldn't appreciate them, hell, he had been a child himself once upon a time. He guessed his unease with the younger generations came with not having them forced upon him in his youth like so many other people.

The Hatake clan consisted only of him and his parents before they passed away and he had been the last remaining member as far as he knew since he was seven. There were no nieces or nephews, or even brothers or sisters for Kakashi to play with as a child. He was an only in every sense of the term.

He vaguely recalled informing his father that he wished to be removed from the academy so he could study away from the_ "stupid __people"_ who were actually his peers. He had only been five years old at the time but when one was brought up only by adults without much interaction with those your own age it was surprising how much of a difference it made when it came to interact. It wasn't like he hadn't tried... or maybe he just hadn't tried hard enough, he wasn't sure.

He was more than a little surprised – mainly at himself – how different this situation was and purely because the little girl that kept offering him her pretty flowers she was picking from nearby baskets was anything but shy as most children were when meeting new people. She seemed to like the challenge which suggested she had been in day care from a very young age. It was refreshing to see but none the less a little scary.

"And this is a peony! You remind me of this peony because your hair is pretty and white like this peony! What do you think, Hatake-san?" she questioned him loudly as she handed the small flower to him.

Kakashi took it from her and examined it, feigning a playful interest in the plant while he waited for the girl's mother to return with their drinks from the small tea house he had tried to avoid earlier that day.

"Well, my hair is actually more grey than white. But I think I understand what you mean, Terra," he replied softly before offering the flower back to her to which she dramatically declined with a swift shake of her head.

"You can have it, Hatake-san. I picked that one for you. Now I need to find one for Rin-san and my mom."

Hatake-san wasn't a name Kakashi was particularly fond of. It was his father's name, but young Terra had difficulty pronouncing his first. Her pronunciations ranged from catnip, cactus, cashew and various other words that sounded nothing like the name she was trying to say. It was wretchedly adorable to see her try so hard but it was painfully clear how frustrated she was getting when she repeatedly failed at each attempt.

The Jounin watched with an amused interest as the girl made her way back to the baskets. Vaguely he wondered if Hime would actually allow for to pick at the flowers that grew on the edges of her tea garden until his attention was dragged towards the table with the distinctive clink of porcelain on wood.

"Thank you, Yumi," he uttered with a smile as he accepted the steaming mug blew habitually at the plumes of steam before gingerly raising it to naked lips.

"Here, the document," Yumi said somewhat breathlessly as she rummaged through her large purse and handed him the same brown folder as the one almost used as a weapon back at the hospital. "I can't apologise enough for the mess I've caused with this..."

Kakashi took to the file from her and placed it flat on the table before resting his elbow upon it. "Forget about it for now, Yumi. The important thing is everything has been finalised," he drawled with a reassuring grin before taking another sample of his hot tea.

The blonde seemed to relax a little, exhaling a sigh as she settled into her chair with a brief nod.

"You haven't changed much, how old were you when I last saw you, fifteen?" she commented casually with a humerous glint in her eye.

"Heh, probably, yeah."

"How old are you now?"

"Thirty."

"Wow, and I've been here ten of those fifteen years. Time sure flies, huh, Kakashi-san?"

"Tell me about it..."

She was right in what she said. Time did fly and the older he got the quicker it seemed to pass him by. Far too long had it taken him to grasp the finer things in life before it was too late to turn back. An uncomfortable silence settle between them, both unsure of how to continue the conversation. They didn't know each other, not really, Yumi was Rin's friend, not his and it was instances like this that the copy nin realised how inept he really was when it came to casual conversation. Even so it was him that broke the silence in the end.

"You said you have something you wanted me to give to Rin?" he mused curiously, folding his hands over the table top.

Yumi blinked seemingly confused about his question until a sharp intake of breath and another reach for her purse confirmed that she remembered just what it was that she had to give him. Her search produced a small black velvet box that she cradled in the palm of her hand for a few seconds before setting it in the centre of the table, her index finger firmly pressed on the top.

As he took in the exterior of the box it took him a few seconds to register exactly what it was; a ring box for a special type of ring bought only when life changing decisions between two parties were being made.

"Yumi...?" he started, his brows furrowing as he lifted his gaze before he was quickly interrupted by the harp raising of a feminine hand.

"Don't judge her too harshly, Kakashi-san..." he muttered unable to hold his gaze for too long. "... You don't know what it was like living here back then, though I'm sure Rin has told you plenty..."

_Well... obviously not everything, ne, Hatake? _

"...They were lonely, that's all, we all were," she finished before finally shifting her hand away from the velvet container.

He sat and regarded her for a while longer, unable to process the information he was being force fed as his gaze was dragged back to this little black box of secrets. He knew what was inside, it didn't take a genius to figure that one out but he couldn't help but feel hurt about the fact that Rin felt the need to keep such an important faze of her life from him. It seemed Satoshi-san had meant more to her than Kakashi had been led to believe.

* * *

Somehow, he didn't know, Kakashi had made it to the medical research department nestled in the bowels of the hospital. Yumi had told him that this was where Satoshi had spent most of his time and his gut told him that this would be where Rin would find her safe place. That and he was vaguely aware that he had left some belongings for her to collect and assumed this would be where she would find them.

The building was like a gigantic concrete maze and he had found himself just spinning in circles wondering how the hell he was going to leave this place alive when he was certain he was completely lost. But he had found it nonetheless and he found himself just aimlessly sauntering down a dark lonely corridor, the only sound echoing around him being that of the odd air conditioning unit and his own footsteps.

There was an ominous glow coming from behind a glass panel fitted into a large door at the far end of the hallway and Kakashi was more than certain that would be where he would find Rin. As he approached he found his suspicions were right though it wasn't all that often that his intuition was actually wrong. He placed the flat of his hand against the door panel though hesitated to open it as he chose to watch what was happening inside.

She was alone, huddled in a corner on the far side of the room, her head on her knees wrapped in her own arms while a ghostly green glowed around her. Her long hair floated around her form in the wisps of green light like she was underwater. Kakashi had never seen anything quite like it before and he focused himself just to understand it a little more. The glow was her chakra, to some on the outside looking in it would look like the chakra was taking over, consuming her but it wasn't. He could feel how controlled it was, how soft and soothing it felt and how it seemed to be healing wounds that weren't even there. It was like an embrace, a source of comfort and he imagined she had used this technique more than a few times in her past.

He'd always known Rin was one of the most talented chakra manipulators in all of Konoha, even better than Sakura who was considered to be one of the best, but he had never imagined that she was so skilled to be able to let her inner essence flow out of her and encase her form in such a controlled and somewhat powerless way.

Whenever Kakashi began performing his trademark move - Raikiri - his chakra became erratic and difficult to control so he could admire Rin's skill at maintaining such massive concentration especially when she was feeling so especially low on herself.

After a few moments of witnessing something so sad yet at the same time so beautiful he decided to open the door. She had probably just been sitting here all night on her own wondering what to do or where to go. The door creaked open as he walked through it and as Rin span her head around in her shoulders to see who was intruding the green glow seemed to be sucked back inside of her and her hair fell about her face and shoulders in long messy strands.

She regarded him for a few seconds seeming that she didn't recognise him at first before she scrabbled to her feet and pressed her shoulders against the wall. She held herself as though feebly standing to attention, her body rigid as she played the hem of her skirt in her hands, even from this distance Kakashi could tell she was trembling.

"What are you doing here, Rin?" he asked softly daring to take another step towards her not feeling too confident that she wouldn't flee out of the window to the side of her.

"I didn't know where else to go," she croaked.

"You should have come back to the hotel. I've been waiting for you to turn up for hours so I came looking."

She lowered her head, her hair shielding more of her face as she lifted her arms and crossed them over her chest.

"Where are the others?" she asked quietly.

He could only assume that she was asking about Sakura and Tenzou.

"They've gone home. Their part of the mission was to take Satoshi's body back to Konoha. So I sent them back."

"Why didn't you go with them?"

The question pulled at his chest as he watched her turn her head to gaze out of the window. He wasn't certain if the comment was meant callously or whether she genuinely thought he would abandon her here of all places. Not that he had any intentions of leaving without her at all; the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. But even so, the comment was painful and Kakashi felt no shame in letting her know that she was hurting him despite her grief.

"Do you really think I would just _leave_ you here?"

"I don't know... I wouldn't have blamed you after the way I behaved..."

Kakashi sighed at her as he moved closer feeling more confident that she had no intentions of trying to get away from him. She was feeling ashamed of herself that was all. He stopped toe to toe with her and hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to turn and look at him. Her eyes were sore and puffy like she had just been sitting here in the dark crying for hours. And her skin was so cold he could feel her trembling through his hand.

"Don't talk silly," he murmured with a concealed smile as he ran a thumb over the soft flesh of her lower lip. Although it seemed that Rin wasn't in the mood for any kind of human contact as she quickly drew her head back and stepped away from him creating a chasm of distance between them.

Kakashi's heart sank at that point, he'd been here before not too long ago and he couldn't help but think he was losing her all over again for a third time.

"I need you to tell me something, Kakashi," Rin uttered, her voice a mere vibration against the air conditioning unit in the room.

Turning towards her, only to be greeted with her back as she gazed out of the window he waited for her to continue not quite sure what to expect or if he wanted to hear it at all.

"What do you see when you look at me?" her question was phrased harshly as she turned her head slightly into the room.

What kind of question was that? Kakashi didn't know how to answer. What did she want him to say exactly? It was obvious that she was looking for something that stemmed a lot deeper than her mere shell of skin and cloth but he wasn't certain what it was she was seeking.

"I... I don't quite underst-"

"What do you see, Kakashi?!" she interrupted somewhat viciously as she spun her entire body on the spot to glare at him, not though hateful eyes but through irises that glowed with so much hurt and self doubt that it almost broke his own heart. The rage he had seen from her earlier that day had long since died only to be replaced by the pain caused by such horrific circumstances.

"Rin, I..."

"Don't skirt around it! No riddles or metaphors! None of your usual_ bullshit, _Kakashi, because I'm not in the mood for that right now. Just the truth. Have I grown... at all? Am I a woman now? Or am I still that pathetic excuse for medic that I was all those years ago?!" Her voice cracked towards the end of her flurried and rather angry words as she repeatedly jabbed herself in the chest as she spoke. The sheen of fresh tears twinkled on her cheeks and the odd sniff here and there was more evidence than Kakashi needed to see that she was suffering. And yet still he hesitated, uncertain of what he was supposed to say until his hand accidentally brushed against the keepsake given to him back at the tea house.

"Tell me!" she squealed, her tone prompting Kakashi to lift his gaze to hers as he drove a reluctant hand into his pocket and wrap calloused fingers around the velvet box he had once thought about tossing into the sea as he strolled aimlessly across the beach none too far from here mere hours ago. It was in that instance he knew the jealousy was unfounded, his need for information on this relationship of hers undignified and pointless. It was clear she loved Satoshi but love came in many forms and it seemed her feelings for this man had not reached far enough for her unrivalled commitment to him alone.

A silence fell upon them, if only for a moment, but it was there, thick, stifling and difficult to breathe in before he took a single step towards her.

"Right now, what I see when I look at you, and please correct me if I'm wrong..." he started as he carefully pulled the ring box from his pocket, watching as Rin's eyes suddenly focused on his motions as he placed it on the wooden desk beside him without giving the object a second glance, his focus lying purely on her. "... is a woman who's feeling lost and confused because she feels the man she's lost so needlessly should have meant more to her than he actually did."

Rin stood and stared at the tiny box now laid on the table, the horror shining in her eyes consuming whatever emotion had been there before as her gaze flitted from that to him sporadically as she took it in.

"Where did you get that?" she croaked, her question emphasised by an audible swallow as her body stiffened in an attempt to gain back what little composure she had left.

"Yumi gave it to me to return to you," Kakashi answered simply, a statement that was rewarded with a sharp shake of the brunette's head.

"It's not what you think, Kakashi, please..."

The lifting of a gloved hand silenced her instantly as the copy nin dropped his gaze to the space between them.

"It doesn't matter what I think."

Silence again, deafening as the atmosphere was dense before she found the will the traverse towards the desk and sit on the chair that still resided behind it. The light of the moon and street lights from the outside world illuminated her face, her eyes puffy and raw with the tears she'd shed for this mission. She saw this as a weakness but was a foundation of humanity. She was hurting and Kakashi wouldn't deny her the need to vent her pain in any way she saw fit.

That little box between them, a catalyst for the discussion they were about to have, sat there like a rock in ones stomach before Rin reached out and opened it with a swift flick of her wrist to reveal the small piece of jewellery within. A piece of jewellery that symbolised a unity between two people, a unity she had denied a dying man.

"I turned him down..." she breathed. "He asked me to marry him... and I turned him down."

"Why?" Kakashi mentally slapped himself for such a question. He didn't want to know the ins and outs of it all. It was nothing to do with him when all was said and done and yet his mouth had run ahead of his brain, not for the first time. Perhaps there was something inside of him that wished to know why Satoshi hadn't been good enough for her.

After a moment of supposed soul-searching she lifted her head, her gaze locking with his before she answered meekly, "I told him I was in love with somebody else."

Her confession chilled him to the core. Had it merely been an excuse to get out, or was it indeed a truth? In spite of Satoshi's ill-gotten fate, Kakashi didn't like the idea that he may have been the one that prevented her from making a full connection with someone else. Despite his own selfish desires that had indeed brought the medic back to Konoha in the first place, it wasn't like he hadn't tried to move on with his own life. He had entered relationships with the hopes that they could become that source of warmth he craved so desperately in the small hours of the night. They had filled that void but only temporarily until they grew tired of him and cast him aside for someone who could give them whatever it was that Kakashi himself was keeping from them.

Needless to say that he didn't know how to respond and found himself merely crouching beside her and placing a hand on her knee as she continued in spite of not wanting to hear it.

"I wanted to... I wanted to love him like he said he loved me but..." She trailed off with a slow shake of her head, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and bowing her head as a semi-stifled sob escaped her. "... but I just didn't. Not like that."

She shrugged with a shameful chuckle and a feverish rake of a hand through her hair. "We didn't part on the greatest terms either, he begged me to stay but... I didn't belong here... I needed to go home. I... I needed to..."

"Rin..."

"I hurt him so much and I'll never be able to tell him how sorry I am..." with that her voice cracked, hands flew to her face as the tears began to pour again her body wracked with agonising sobs of a breaking heart that Kakashi had no idea how to mend. Instinctively he reached towards her, grasping her shoulders and pulling her into an embrace into which she fell somewhat limply. There was nothing he could do or say, his apologies would fall upon deaf ears, all he could offer her as she cried in his arms was his love... and his sympathy. He would wait for as long as it took for her tears to dry as they sat in dark office with nothing but each other and that tiny box of unwanted memories.

* * *

Kakashi was struggling to keep up with the words in his new book. He had found himself re-reading the same line at least three times which suggested that he should finally get his head down and get some sleep. It had been a long exhausting day and he knew the trip back to Konoha wasn't going to be as easy as usual. There was a funeral to attend when they got back and he had a feeling that this would be playing on Rin's mind more than she'd like.

He sighed heavily, finally defeated as he snapped the book closed and placed it carefully on the end table that separated the two beds in their new room. Just as he lifted the duvet to rearrange himself so he could shimmy down the mattress and actually lie down his gaze ghosted over the girl on the other side of the room causing him to pause midway.

She hadn't said anything or even moved for good couple of hours which had given him a sizeable hint that she was already asleep, but even with her back to him he could see her eyelashes flutter each time she blinked against the light of the lamp between them. She was awake, and probably had been for all this time.

"Rin?" he called softly.

She turned her body ever so slightly his way before she replied, "Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

She slumped heavily back into her previous position pulling an arm under her head. "Hm," she responded before emitting a deep sigh.

Of course she wasn't alright, after the way she had behaved today she must be feeling more than ashamed of herself and the episode in Kenshin's office had done very little for her self-worth that was sure. The fact that she had finally been faced with her dead team leader had just been the last straw that had broken the camel's back, it was no wonder she'd lost control... it was so much to try to absorb in one go. No amount of mental stability and training could prepare someone for a situation like this and Kakashi could only sympathise with her. He had no idea how he would react if he was the one stepping in her shoes. She had shed a lot of tears today and had complained of a headache before she told him she was going to _try_ and get some sleep, so chances were she didn't much feel like herself.

She probably hadn't felt much like herself since stepping back into the town only a day ago. This place brought out the worst in her and all she wanted was one simple thing; to go home, to step back into routine as quickly as she could. It wasn't unreasonable, she was only human after all and Kakashi could understand her craving for normality more than most.

Without saying another word Kakashi threw back the covers, swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got to his feet. He padded across the dimly lit room until he reached the edge of Rin's single bed and tugged at her duvet causing her to turn around and look at him with those sad brown eyes of hers.

She didn't say anything as he dropped himself onto the mattress and pulled the covers back over them, she just draped an arm over his stomach as he leaned over the end table and flicked the small switch on the lamp plunging the room into darkness. Turning himself to face her he allowed her to shift herself against him, resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder as he used that arm to rest beneath her head and stroked his hand through her soft hair.

"I can hear your heart beating," she whispered, smoothing her hand from his stomach upwards over his night-shirt until she splayed her fingers softly over his neck. The sensation her soft delicate hands left behind was delicious and he couldn't swallow the shaky sigh that passed his lips. Her touch turned him on almost to the point that was painful, but that wasn't why he was in bed with her...

"You should inform Sakura of your amazing discovery. She sometimes tells me I have a heart of stone," he chuckled as Rin did the same.

"She doesn't know you like I do," she replied softly but the slight rise in pitch to her voice suggested to him that she was smiling while her fingers caressed random circles into the skin of his shoulder.

He moved his free arm under the duvet, trailing his hand across the sheets until he found her warm body and settled his own fingers on the round of her hip. He stroked a thumb over the soft supple flesh and relished in the way her breath hitched and her body quivered against his skin as he did so.

She shifted herself against him closing the space between them as she continued to stroke her fingers slowly over his neck, his shoulder and back again. The touching was nice and the heat was beginning to build between them, but this wasn't about sex. It was about simply being together, being close to someone warm and inviting and forcing that empty void of loneliness back into remission as they just lay there in the dark.

"Can I ask you something, Rin?"

"Sure."

"You turned down Satoshi's proposal because you said you were in love with someone else..."

"... yeah?"

"Was that someone else ... was it me?"

She didn't answer for a painfully long time and her soothing movements stilled as she seemed to find an answer for him. He already knew what it was, but he couldn't help but selfishly lie in wait for her to confirm it.

"Maybe..."

"I'm going to take that as a _yes_," he responded with a smile feeling his head flood with that warm fuzzy feeling that was beginning to force his eyes closed.

"I've always loved you..." Rin whispered just as she shifted herself against him again in a bid to get comfortable.

"I know."

The room fell quiet again and Kakashi could feel his eyes starting to close of their own will that heavy yet satisfying sense of sleep hanging in his head waiting to plunge him into a dream. A nice one he hoped sleepily.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"You asked me once why I was with someone like you, I ... I think I know why now."

Kakashi didn't reply, he just laid waiting for her to continue which eventually she did.

"Because when I'm with you nothing matters anymore," she murmured sleepily.

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," he responded in nothing more than a whisper.

He felt her move her head and the warm soft pressure she applied to his neck as she kissed him sent an electric surge running through his body before she spoke for the last time.

"I'm sure that's not true." With that her breathing became heavy and more regulated as she drifted asleep in his arms though her fingers still caressed his neck for several minutes after.

The room fell silent as they both lay there in the single bed wrapped in each other's arms as they drifted on the edges of sleep. There was no passion in that bed that night, no tearing at each other's clothes, no kissing or a desperate need for release. It was just that simple embrace, that warm touch confirming the last ten years had been worth the heartache and loneliness they both suffered through to just lie together now in the night.

Right now, at this moment life was good again.


	17. From Dusk Follows Dawn

_**From Dusk Follows Dawn**_

Perhaps it was the gentle heat of the early morning sun that had enticed the medic to venture outside again at this hour, her longing to feel the warmth of the day awakening on her skin. Perhaps it was the desperate yet ultimately hypothetical need to breathe, suffocated by her own morbid memories. Either way the sanctuary she'd found in the circle of Kakashi's sleeping embrace hadn't been enough to keep Rin in the hotel room as much as she did enjoy the man's affections as of late.

She loved him, was _in love_ with him, more than she'd once dared to imagine, so much so just a fleeting glance his way, just one look at that lopsided smile, those lazy heavy eyes was enough to make her entire body ache. But right now space was paramount and unfortunately Kakashi did not fit into that gap. Not right now.

It had been yet another night of horrific nightmares that marred her subconscious, yet another night of jolting awake in a cold sweat struggling for air, clutching at shadows like she was drowning in the deep trenches of her own mind. Drowning in her fears that she would lose_ him _just like she lost Satoshi-san, Obito, Sensei. That Kakashi too would perish by some terrible means, pushed into the icy talons of fate by her own touch.

The copy-nin had woken with her each time, attentive in his drowsy state to touch tenderly at her face, kiss away the tears, reassure her that reality was better than the archives of her head and coax her back to sleep which inevitably plunged her back into another gut wrenching dream and the process would repeat itself.

She was a curse amongst man, a Midas of her own kin, though instead of her fingertips turning her objects of desire to gold, they withered and died. It was always the case, Obito, Sensei... Satoshi-san. In her dreams it was Kakashi and she wasn't certain how much more she could take. But it was this place more than anything, this place and that dark cloud that hovered over her and weighed her down.

Forever optimistic, a cleanser of sorts with a smile so infectious it was difficult not to smile back in kind, Nohara Rin was praised for her plucky though somewhat timid demeanour. But even when standing tall she had never felt more afraid, surrounded by people and yet never felt so alone like she did here. But even now, knowing that she would finally step away from this disgusting little town for good, she knew it wasn't over. Her journey back to Konoha was just one more thing to dread. The nightmare, it seemed, would never truly end. It had become apparent in her mind in this early hour however, that Satoshi-san's death was in fact a blessing in disguise because at least there was nothing else tying her to this place anymore. The hold had been lifted and for that she felt could finally breathe. Free at last.

In spite of all of this, her morning hadn't been completely miserable as little rays of sunshine beamed through the parted curtains on the little presents hanging on the door. After somehow untangling herself from the copy-nin's lazy limbs she had stumbled upon two little flowers sticking out of a clasp adjoined to the scroll pouches on his flak vest. Very peculiar indeed, considering that Kakashi was definitely not a man of floral tendencies. He'd never given her a flower... ever. At first Rin had assumed that _he_ had picked the flowers for her, but it hadn't taken long for the facts to dawn on her, a warm forgiving smile coupled with her find pulling at her mouth.

She was smiling now as she sat on her bench on the little garden at the back of the hotel. Again, just like the day before it was too early for guests to be browsing the bar for their morning meal, Rin herself settling for the coffee from the self service machine stationed there, a drink she'd long since extinguished. This was okay with her while she twizzled the little puff of lavender in her hand the quiet felt nice, to simply be here, to exist just as her with her own thoughts, to just be.

Such a thing was a rarity these days, time to one's self while stationed here was scarce but the times of being alone were crippled by that intense weight of crushing loneliness and homesickness, there had never been a happy medium, no in-between. But since moving back to Konoha, all that had changed, since falling in love with her best friend for the second time it became so clear that she wasn't so alone anymore and it was that thought that broadened the smile on her face.

The plant was dying, as plants do when plucked from their homely baskets, the tiny purple petals turning a rusty brown from the base of the puff. But she knew that this flower was for her and she couldn't help but be touched by the offering as she sang the silly little nostalgic tune in her head.

'_I see a dinosaur, Where you see a dinosaur?, Over there over there, standing proud and still, There she is, there she is, My little Pterodactyl'_

"I worry about you sometimes..."

That deep smooth and monotonous voice made Rin jump with a start as she spun her head around on the joints of her neck to stare wide eyed at the man that was giving her the strangest look while he peered around the door. Had she just been singing that silly tune in her head out loud? How embarrassing.

With stained cheeks (well at least she could only assume she was blushing as the skin on her face was hotter than hell fire) Rin bowed her head towards her puff of lavender before holding it up to Kakashi somewhat bashfully and waving it about in the air. He should know to whom she was referring. He was the one with the flowers in his pockets after all; there was no doubt in her mind that Kakashi had been subjected to the cute little monster known as Terra.

"Uh, s-sometimes I called her my little... pterodactyl..." she trailed off, sheepishly averting her gaze and pulling her lower lip into her mouth. The nickname for the girl had its origins in a mixture of two things, her name and her love of all things dinosaur. It was quite simple to put the two together.

"Well... I'm not sure if you can compare a five year old girl to a dinosaur, Rin. Although I do get the play on words," he drawled seemingly uninterested by the topic as a whole and parking himself on the arm of Rin's bench.

The brunette took the time to look him over, a little more unkempt than usual, Kakashi didn't look his usual organised yet dishevelled self and she was sure his clothes hung from him a little more than she recalled previously. Or perhaps she was just looking too hard, she wasn't sure. Needless to say, however, the dark circles under his eyes were definitely new. She thought for that fleeting moment to scold him for being up so early, it couldn't be any later than six in the morning, but she dismissed the idea as soon as it came.

"You look dreadful," she commented casually focusing her attention back to her small plume of fading purple flowers.

She heard him hum at her remark. "Yes, well, I've had about as much sleep as you," was his rather snarky reply.

Rin hummed in response as she began to pick at the tiny lavender flowers in her hand. "Sorry."

There was a moment of thick silence that dropped between them. She hated these moments of cold vulnerability, not knowing what to do or say, not knowing how he would react if she said anything at all. He was tired, as was she, and Rin simply couldn't shake the feeling that today was going to be harder to get through than it needed to be. Nerves were frayed on both sides given their lack of rest, a snippy tiff was inevitable.

"Rin...?"

She lifted her gaze from her flower though not enough to make eye contact despite the odd ring of concern that hung in Kakashi's voice. A tone she never liked to hear from him.

There was hesitation from his end as he regarded her for a second that seemed to last for hours until he finally broke that horrendous silence once more. "Talk to me... please?"

She sighed irritably, her head dropping back to its previous position. "There's nothing to talk about," she murmured with a dismissive shrug. It was clear he was asking about her restless night, not that Rin was in the mood to discuss it. She hadn't even bothered to write down the events like she had the day previous. What was the point? She knew what it meant. It was stupid, she was sure of it, more to do with the place rather than anything else. She was afraid of losing him... the man she loved who she could only hope felt the same about her. It was that simple. It was funny how one dealt with the death of a friend, it never failed to force one to realise one's own mortality... how easy it was to lose... to die.

She sensed him shift from his current position before she saw his feet step in front of her as he crouched and placed a hand on her knee.

She lifted her eyes only to get caught in Kakashi's gaze. His lone grey iris was dull, sleep deprived, sunken but brimming with a yearning that she felt she couldn't maintain the contact for long.

"You worry too much," she chuckled with a bow of her head and a slender hand over his.

She felt Kakashi squeeze her knee, if only slightly to which she responded with a squeeze of her own.

"It's my job to worry," he uttered, a sound so soft and drenched in concern it broke her heart as she removed her hand from his and used it to caress the side of his masked face. The moment Kakashi leaned into her touch, his overly tired eye fluttering closed at the contact as though he'd never felt the sensation before made her smile. It was moments like this that she felt herself sinking, falling so much deeper under his spell. By the _Gods_ she loved him.

"Thank you, Kakashi," was all she whispered back.

* * *

Waking to find the bed was empty save for himself had forced Kakashi to jump from the mattress with a start. A quick look about their room, a concentrated listen for the shower; nothing. There was no doubt in his mind that she was still within hotel grounds, chances were that she was in the foyer or the restaurant.

Granted, perhaps she needed the space, her night was restless as was his as a consequence but that didn't quell the sting of resentment he felt for the second time during their stay here that she hadn't woken him or at least had the common decency about her to tell him she was leaving. Maybe she did and he'd been too out of it to register the conversation. The copy nin wouldn't hold it against her in any case, just a simple fleeting emotion he allowed to surface in a motivational bid to arrange is belongings for the trip home before he went in search of her.

Needless to say that he didn't have to look very far, the day was young yet, and Rin was one of only two people in the restaurant that morning. The young man behind the bar preparing the area for the day the first that he'd noticed and who was so gracious as to nod towards the double paned doors opposite.

It seemed the girl sitting there hadn't noticed him approach as she gazed down at the flower in her hand (which in turn prompted Kakashi to feel around his jacket pocket and confirm that flower was the one given to him by the young girl the day previous, how could he have forgotten about that?) and singing to herself.

The conversation that followed was a little awkward and clumsy mainly on his part. It wasn't as though he wasn't accustomed to going without sleep, insomnia was rife during times of mission faring, but that didn't mean he wouldn't become snippy from time to time as a result. He was only human after all.

He'd done what he could to reassure her by whatever means that he considered that was worrying her, possibly the funeral that was inevitably waiting for them back home, before he'd offered a hand to take her on one last scout of the small resort. She'd declined, as Kakashi suspected she would and here he was traversing the pretty streets alone after equipping himself with medicinal supplies. One can never be too careful and it was more a force of habit to stock up on such things when stepping foot back into the field. It was never predicted if trouble was standing in the path to home.

Kakashi took the time to have another look about the place, still in awe of the village's storybook beauty and still that little bit disappointed that his partner hated it here so much. He would get over it, there was no doubt about that. But still, surely there was nothing wrong with admiring the view if only for the last time.

It was at that point, on his way back to the hotel to finish up the preparations needed before travel back to Konoha that he heard a voice that sent a sharp chill shooting up his spine.

"Oh, Kakashi-kun," it called in that same terrifyingly flirtatious voice from only two days ago, which in turn caused him to stop in his tracks for a moment, his body prepared for flight yet turning on his heel and offering the woman the nicest yet most feigned smile he could muster.

"Ah-aha... morning, Hime-sama," he called back towards the little tea house with a habitual yet awkward rub to the back of his head. Somehow he'd managed to avoid the woman the day before, it seemed that today that he simply wasn't so lucky.

* * *

The strong aroma of fresh coffee permeated his senses the moment he'd walked through the door, but it was easy to see that Hime was indeed very house proud. Having confirmed that the shop wouldn't be open for business for at least a couple of hours (granted that it was still pretty early and the only shops open at this time were the chemist near the little clinic and the newsagents just down the way) Kakashi was somehow bribed into the back entrance of her shop.

Needless to say that this meeting was decidedly more pleasant than the first without the curious glances and the hand touching from before.

"You keep a lovely home, Hime-sama," Kakashi heard himself mutter as he took to leaning against a work surface in her small kitchenette as he watched her work her kettle. The words were quite empty, spoken only to show gratitude and typical politeness that was fundamental if one wanted to keep on the good side of strangers that willingly invited one into their home. Hime-sama was indeed very much a stranger to him. But despite the words holding next to no meaning they were by no means a lie.

"You're too kind, Kakashi-kun," the older woman responded with a smile shone at him from over her shoulder as she busied herself with cups.

He sighed thinking of all the places he could be other than here, not an ounce curious as to why she would invite him backstage but there had been something endearing and somewhat worrying in her tone, something Kakashi could only assume wasn't her usual trait when dealing with younger men. Glancing to his left and wincing a little at the sunlight that shone through into through the kitchen window, Kakashi spied a photograph, two photographs to be precise both framed ornately and placed alongside each other on the tiled cill.

One was undoubtedly of Hime and her husband, a stocky short man with short grey hair and a paunch that could give even the stoutest of Akimichi a run for their money. Both were smiling, happily as it seemed, it was always difficult to tell in photographs but it was the second one that caught Kakashi's eye.

A young man, no older than say eighteen stared back at him from his pretty decorative frame. Shaggy silver hair, heavy eyes though a piercing blue in colour, he grinned toothily at the camera as the copy nin reached to pluck it from its standing point curious about the youth's uncanny resemblance to himself.

"Startling likeness, don't you think?" he heard Hime chime from across the room. "Stick a mask on him and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference."

"Who is it?" Kakashi wondered aloud at first thinking that it could be an old photo of her husband whose name currently escaped him. Though it was apparent that the picture was seemingly newer than the one of the couple it sat next to.

"His name's Ushinatta..." a pause prompting Kakashi to lift his lone grey eye to the woman who was now smiling with a wistful longing in her usually bright eyes. "... my son. He'd be the same age as our Rin-chan... Were he still alive."

Kakashi sighed heavily at that his eyes closing in a state of disbelief. He just had to ask didn't he? The great Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan. Master of a thousand jutsu's and unrivalled expert at sticking his huge clodhopping feet right in it. He felt his shoulders slump as he placed the picture carefully in the place where he'd found it.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Hime-sama," he offered with a courteous bow of his head only to be rewarded with a dismissive wave of the woman's hand and a chuckle as she handed him a rather decorative mug filled with the piping hot coffee he could smell all around him.

"Ah," she sighed wistfully as she gazed lovingly at the picture while cradling her own steaming mug in both hands. "He was a pretty little thing, my Ushi. Such a shame he had to go when he did. The ladies loved him, you know." With that she chuckled before sipping at her drink.

"How did he die? If you don't mind me asking?"

"The Rot took him. Rin-chan was his carer up until the end." Her eyes, watery but still holding onto that crisp flirtatious joy shifted to him. "It's how I met her, you see." Hime delivered her last statement in nothing more than a knowing whisper as her eyes regained the fire he had seen the first time he'd met her.

"Ah, I see," he confirmed gingerly lifting the mug in his hand to masked lips, though lowering it again in a bid to change the subject. "Why am I here, Hime-sama? You say there was something you needed to discuss?" Vaguely he hoped the grisly death of her son wasn't the subject at hand.

"Not discuss as such, no," she responded blandly setting down her cup to which Kakashi did the same as she rummaged through a drawer at her rear and produced a rather tattered looking book from its depths.

Kakashi frowned at it before lifting his gaze questioningly to the woman in front of him.

"It's a scrap book. Rin-chan and Ushi made it together during his time in the hospital," she confirmed motioning the book towards him which eventually encouraged the copy nin to take it from her. "I'm not sure if you've ever been to that place..." the older woman shuddered visibly. "So cold and unforgiving."

Kakashi didn't respond as such, but he could relate to the sterile atmosphere of the place as he leafed lazily though the book. There were snippets from newspapers, pictures of animals of all kinds; dogs, cats, reptiles the list was endless but a page he paused on was one filled with photographs, all of them of this young boy with a young Rin. Most were taken seemingly by her given the strange angles and the fact that her arm stretched towards the image. She looked so young still, her hair only a touch longer than when he'd last seen her all those years ago, her eyes shone with life, her skin aglow with energy. Beautiful. But it was at that point that he closed the scrapbook suddenly feeling like he was imposing on someone else's memories, a place he had no right to be.

"Is there a reason you're showing this to me?" Kakashi asked flatly lifting the book a little and offering it back to Hime.

"Hm? No no, I would like you to give it to Rin-chan, if that's okay with you, Kakashi-kun." She shrugged happily. "You know, as a memento. Ushi liked her a lot and he think he'd like her to have it."

The copy nin's mouth turned down in a frown, not quite understanding why the woman would want to give up her son's memories and yet it seemed she sensed his concerns as she stepped towards him and placed a single hand on the cover of the large black book.

"They're her memories, Kakashi-kun. Not mine," she smiled. "Sometimes it's nice to remember those we've lost, hm?"

* * *

"Toothbrushes." A quick glance into the bathroom. "Check. Hairbrush." A fleeting look at the dresser. "Check."

Countless times had she gone through the list in her head before she even realised that Kakashi had returned from his shopping trip. It was the latching of the door that caught her attention as she crouched in front of her pack glancing back at the man stood behind her.

"Find anything nice?" she chirped before her eyes settled on the black object he held out to her to which her brows furrowed in mild confusion.

"It seems everyone here sees me as a messenger boy, ne, Rin?"

There was something about Kakashi's tone and stance that Rin found a little off-putting in spite of the smile he hid behind that mask of his. Reluctantly she got to her feet and stepped towards him watching as he relaxed his outstretched arm a little before reaching out to her again.

"From Hime-sama," he nodded just as she folded her fingers around the battered book and gently slid it out of her team leader's hand.

Examining the cover, devoid of print other than the company seal that made it in the corner Rin's confusion didn't lift until she opened it to the first page to reveal a myriad of clippings which flooded her mind as to why Hime-sama would want her to have such a thing.

"I remember this..." she murmured wistfully feeling the faint beginnings of a fond smile tug at one corner of her mouth as she slowly turned and made her way over to one of the beds. Flicking through the book was akin to travelling back in time, and the nostalgia she could feel radiating from this simple scrapbook was one of the best feelings she'd had since stepping through the gates, aside from Kakashi's kiss on the first day and falling asleep in his arms the night previous of course. But still, this felt nice, so nice.

She turned another page, the animal page. How long had it taken her to collect all those pictures? Most of them were ripped straight out of magazines she'd either bought for the boy or taken straight from the foyer of the hospital itself. It had been their little project, just something to ease the boredom... and his fear of the inevitable. He didn't want to die, but then again, who did?

Rin grimaced at that thought though it quickly vanished when she turned the next page to reveal the multitude of little photographs she'd taken of the pair of them with the cheap little camera she'd bought from the chemist nearby. She lost herself in those pictures, the boy's toothy smile, how young and tragically good looking he was, how young and girlish she looked. She'd known from the start that getting attached to him was a bad move, and yet somehow he'd gotten under her skin and she'd allowed it anyway. Needless to say that the day he died had almost torn her in two and the ache in her chest from her first loss of countless others never truly left. A constant scar on her heart that would never fully heal, a collection amongst the others.

"Ushinatta, wasn't it?" came the smooth voice to her right, startling the medic out of her daydream. She turned to look at him, eyeing Kakashi over with wide surprised eyes before her expression softened and she nodded to confirm.

"Hime-sama tell you that?"

"Mm-hm. He looks a little like me, don't you think?"

"A little, he had a better sense of humour than you though,"

"Oh, gee thanks, Rin."

With a girlish giggle at Kakashi's expense she turned back to the book, a long slender finger tracing the edges of one of the pictures a little torn and tattered by age as she recalled her time with this boy in her mind's eye. A sigh passed her lips unsure if Kakashi wanted to hear the story but her mouth prepared to tell it regardless.

"He was my first patient," she said softly, not bothering to see if Kakashi was listening but sensing his gaze upon her anyway. "I'd only been here a matter of weeks before I was assigned Ushinatta as my sole burden. Before him I just made rounds and changed catheters and drip feeds. He was a fun kid, always laughing and making jokes. The nurses thought he was brilliant, heh, we all did. Just a very cute and charming teenager. Everyone had time for Ushi, he was so like his mother it was uncanny." She shrugged with a small chuckle.

"The doctors gave him six months to live on admission. I managed to keep him alive for two years..." She could feel her lips trembling at this point as she briskly raised her head with a sharp nasal inhale and shifted her gaze to the window. "It was horrible..."

She felt Kakashi's hand on her shoulder then prompting her to swallow the tears and shift her dark eyes to his face, though masked was strained with empathy. "I'm sorry, Rin," he said.

She nodded, albeit with a smile as she took in a shaky breath and closed the book on her lap before running her fingers back over the course cover. So touched was she to have this book in her possession, so touched that the mother of her first patient would want her to have something so precious to her son and his memory. She would treasure it always, a fond reminder of a boy who loved life and taught her so much in the short time she knew him.

"Thank you, Kakashi," she whispered to which she received a firm squeeze of her shoulder, an eye creasing smile and a single nod.

* * *

There was a chill in the air, reminiscent of the first day of stepping back though Machenich gates. Yet this chill was fresh, crisp and oh so inviting as the breeze floated though the streets and cooled her skin.

It was finally happing, she was finally going home. Her thoughts skimmed over events that were to come, but skim was all they did as her attention focused solely on smelling that glorious Konoha air, letting it fill her lungs with its earthy scent. Oh she couldn't wait. There was a good four days of travel ahead of them at the very least and that was if the pair really got their foot down and made a move for it. And there would be no luxurious wooden houses to sleep in on the road this time due to the absence of the ever so magnificent Yamato. Rin couldn't help the pout pulling at her mouth at this thought. It wasn't so much the house that he could make just ... _grow_ out of the ground, but the man was quite easy on the eyes too, not that she would ever tell Kakashi about that of course.

"How're you feeling?" came the concerned murmur to the side of her coupled with a soft bump of his shoulder into hers.

"Better, much better," Rin chirped as she turned to look up at the taller Jounin with a smile that was far from feigned.

Kakashi returned the smile, though hidden behind the cloth on his face save for the gentle crease of his eye. "Good."

Turning back to her path she eyed over the two walking not so far in front. A mother and child by the looks of things, the day was still relatively early and Rin figured absently that the woman must be taking the little one to school. And then her heart leapt into her throat when she overheard the little discussion the pair were having.

"But, mom, he's so stupid and he said mean things to that other boy."

"That's not an excuse to club him over the head with a pail though is it really?"

"He deserved it though..."

"Maybe he did but you shouldn't do things like that. Try talking next time, hm? Come on, stop messing around we're running late as it is."

There was no doubt in her mind that she knew those people and Rin would never quite understand why she did what she did next and there was every chance that Kakashi thought her completely crazy for doing it. But there were amends to be made and if she was going to do it she was going to do it now in the loudest possible why. Doubling over and planting her hands on her knees, sensing the copy nin next to her halt in his tracks Rin took in the deepest breath she could before bellowing, "I SEE A DINOSAUR!"

The young girl acted instantly pulling away from her mother's hand sharply before spinning on her heel and running straight towards Rin who now welcomed the youngster with open outstretched arms. "I'm a pterodactyl!" the girl cried as she all but fell into Rin's chest, the medic immediately wrapping both arms around her.

"That's not how the song goes, silly-billy," Rin chuckled getting to her feet and bringing the young girl up with her, cradling her in her arms just like she used to.

"I know, but I am the pterodactyl, aren't I, Rin-san?" with that said Terra curled her fingers to mimic claws and emitted a rather sorry sounding growl which only served to make the brunette laugh before glancing towards the mother and extending a hand to her.

"Yumi-chan, is it too late to apologise for being... well... me?" Rin laughed nervously at her own offer as the blonde simply gazed at her completely bewildered, chances were that Kakashi had a very similar expression on his face as he was now choosing to stand at a fair distance behind her.

It had taken some time but he had actually been right about her outburst in the locker rooms the day prior, she hadn't given Yumi any chance to fight her corner and that simply hadn't been fair. Rin wasn't about to issue out excuses (though she could think of plenty) for her behaviour. All she wanted, this time, was to part with her close friend of over a decade on good terms. This could be the last time she ever saw her again as chances were that she had no intentions of ever returning to Konoha given the fact that she had given up her position as a kunoichi. This was Rin's last chance to make amends... and at last it seemed that the blonde nurse wanted to accept it.

Yumi didn't simply step towards her, she ran closing the distance a little quicker than Rin had anticipated forcing her to take a precautionary step back as the younger woman flung her arms around her neck.

"Mom! She nearly dropped me!" Terra complained

"Shut up and hug me," Yumi demanded as she buried her head into the hollow of her friend's shoulder which rewarded her with a soft pat on the head from the young girl and a tight embrace from Rin.

* * *

Well... this was awkward.

Kakashi stood there, watching the three girls in front of him hugging in the middle of the street and the copy nin had no idea where to put himself. A quick scan of the street showed that no passerby was remotely interested in the happenings unfolding on the sunlit path but that didn't make it any less painful to be around. Public displays of affection just weren't his thing and he guessed that he should be thankful that he wasn't being asked to join in.

It was then that he noticed a pair of blue eyes on him, not from young Terra like he had originally thought but form her mother, Yumi as he held on to Rin like her life depended on it.

"Thank you," she mouthed to him, as though he had been responsible for this little meet up when in fact he hadn't really done anything at all, all a matter of coincidence and he lifted his hand in a questioning matter to convey this. It didn't matter though, as he witnessed her close her eyes again. It was just good to see something positive unfurling because chances were that if nothing had been said to organise this silly rift, Rin would have been regretting it for the rest of her life. It was good to see that this certainly wouldn't be the case.

* * *

Five days travel, five tiring days it had taken to lead them closer and closer to that one place she knew she belonged and yet closer to that one event that would finalise the mission she had not long returned from. How she dreaded it. Would she be able to hold her head up with the sheer weight of her shame boring down on her mind? Or would she break for a second time? She didn't know, didn't want to think about it and it took great efforts not to. Kakashi was a good distraction for the most part, he had a knack of pulling her attention away from such things, be that via conversation or just something nice to look at. But he helped either way, whether he was aware of it or not.

A visit to the Hokage's office had confirmed that both Yamato and Sakura had returned two days prior and had organised funeral arrangements for Satoshi to be performed the following day. One days rest... that was all Naruto-sama was allowing them. One day. The panic had begun setting in, she needed more time to come to terms with this and as the pair left the Tower it was Kakashi that had broached the subject.

"Is everything okay?" Was all he asked, his tone was a simple flat drone but it still made Rin halt in her tracks at the base of the stone steps and turn to face him with an apprehensive smile.

"Sure, why shouldn't it be?" she shrugged. A blatant lie and by the way Kakashi tilted his head to one side and arched a silver brow her way it was clear that he could see straight through it.

It took a moment, but eventually Rin looked away with a heavy sigh rubbing at her shoulder as though protecting herself from the none existent chill. "I just..." she started dragging her lower lip into her mouth before finding the will to continue and finding a particular spot at her feet intensely interesting. "...I want it to be over."

With that she sensed the copy nin descend the steps feeling his shoulder brush against hers as he stepped in line with her. Hesitantly she glanced up, her eyes meeting with that one lone grey iris that gazed back lazily through long silver lashes. He motioned with a small movement of his head for her to follow as he stepped away towards the village proper, an action she followed without hesitation.

Not a word was spoken as they traversed through the streets; not a word was needed, there was nothing either of them could say to ease the tension, but for her just being with him was enough. He was the fire in her furnace after all and were it not for him Rin doubted that she would have survived these past few days as well as she had done.

Her feet and the odd glimpse of Kakashi's bound ankles were far more interesting than the path she was treading as they traversed supposedly towards her apartment. At least that was the route she assumed they were taking with that thick silence floating in the space between them. But the space didn't last for all that long when the medic felt the faint distinctive brushing of cool metal against the back of her hand which in turn prompted her to shift her focus to that point.

He was tapping the backs of his fingers against hers, an action that brought a coy smile to her lips as she responded with the curling of her pinky around his. A little play was all that was needed to bring her back to the real world, if only for a little while but it was what he did next that took the brunette completely by surprise.

There was no subtlety, no coyness in his movements as he grasped her hand and twined his calloused digits with hers which in turn caused the fiercest blush to erupt on her cheeks before Kakashi then crammed both their hands in his pants pocket which caused Rin to stumble a little his way.

She slapped her free hand against his arm to regain her balance and emitted a gasp in sheer surprise, looking up at him with shocked wide eyes to be rewarded with a soft chuckle which was so typical of him.

Rin felt her expression soften once more aglow with her previous smile hooking her balancing hand around the crook of his elbow, slender fingers catching on the fabric of his navy shirt. She fell back into pace with him as she rested her cheek against his shoulder. Yeah, nothing mattered anymore when Kakashi was there, only him and her and the gentle caress of his thumb ghosting over her knuckles in his pocket.

"Will you stay tonight?" she asked eventually not daring to glance upwards but instead just basked in his warmth as they walked. She felt his hand close around hers giving it a reassuring squeeze which pressed her knuckles against the working muscle of his thigh.

"Of course I will," came his response, so soft and soothing because nothing mattered when Kakashi was there to chase away the shadows. Nothing ever mattered when he was there with her.

* * *

It had been little over an hour since Rin had retired to her room as Kakashi took up residence on the sofa bed in the lounge. He'd slept in the same bed before, a little while ago but being a creature of habit the Jounin knew he would find it difficult to sleep in this still rather strange room. But with the second of his two new books to keep him company it didn't really matter and the light from the table lamp next to him was more than enough light he needed to remain focused on the print and the story it told.

He turned a page, his attention drifting away from the happenings within the book for only a second when he sensed a presence behind him which in turn caused him to pause and shift his gaze a little to his left. When the presence didn't shift after a moment he turned his head towards the bedroom door behind him, slinging an arm over the back of the sofa of which he was occupying.

Rin stood there in the doorway leaning against the frame as she stared with a desirable interest at the floor, seeming hesitant to take another step forward clutching a pillow in her arms. Upon noticing Kakashi looking her way she straightened herself and after another few seconds of seemingly gathering herself she padded over to the left side of his bed.

The silver-haired Jounin simply looked at her expectantly as she threw her pillow against the back the sofa, pulled the covers back and slunk her way underneath. Her actions were somewhat reminiscent of the night he'd joined her in her single bed at the hotel in Machenich though by the way she beat at her pillow it seemed she was harbouring a little tension. Not that this was surprising in any sense.

"Rin?" he mused eventually just as she slumped back into the bed and rolled towards him, sliding a single arm over his stomach. She didn't respond but he could tell quite evidently by her heavy breaths that were more akin to frustrated sighs that she was feeling the burn of the mission itself coupled with the following day as he recalled her words from outside the Tower. _'I want it to be over' _she'd said. It was with that thought in mind that Kakashi snapped the book closed and placed it carefully on the floor beside the makeshift bed.

"It's going to be alright, you know?" he murmured turning his body towards her if only slightly and causing her to readjust her position to rest her head in the hollow of his neck so he could drape his arm around her shoulders.

"I know," she responded in nothing more than a whisper, her hold around his stomach tightening a little causing the fingers against his hip to pull against his shirt. "I just think I might sleep better if you hold me... only for a while..."

Kakashi chuckled at this, reaching to turn off the little lamp on the table above his head before shuffling his body down the mattress and allowing the medic to make herself comfortable against him.

"Stay as long as you want, Rin. I don't mind."

"Thank you..." she hesitated as she gave him just one final squeeze with her arm. "... for everything."

"Anytime, you know that," he hummed eventually as he rested his chin on the top of her head. It was nice to know that he was a source of comfort for her but that was something Rin had always managed to bring to the surface. She made him feel wanted, needed as had the request that he spend the night as he walked her home that evening. There had been no plan to stay, only to walk her home, ensure she was okay and had everything she needed before departing himself. But she wanted him there and he could only hope that this occurrence was one of many, not just to give her peace of mind in the darkest times, but to be a constant presence in her life... because she wanted him there.

One could only hope...

* * *

The ceremony was small, with only a few attendees that include the team sent to Lightning to collect the remains of the man being laid to rest. Naruto had played his part well and the few that did attend had already paid their respects to Satoshi and had left leaving only Kakashi and Rin behind, the latter that seemed very reluctant to leave her standing point near the pedestal holding the body of her dead friend and captain.

The copy nin had kept a respectable distance while he waited for the girl to finish with whatever was going through her head, though he figured if Obito's memorial ceremony was anything to go by he would be waiting for a while.

With a shallow sigh Kakashi pointed his gaze skyward. The clouds were closing in, pregnant with rain and rolling with the distant sound of thunder in the morning sky. Not particularly wanting to hurry Rin's thought process along Kakashi still took the time to step towards her and hoped he would catch her attention enough for to see that she couldn't stand out here forever. The times he'd had to remind himself of the same thing when visiting the cenotaph were uncountable same as the amount of times he'd been caught in the rain while unable to leave Obito's memory out in the cold.

"Rin, it's going to rain," was all he said in a hushed voice noting her blank dull eyes as they stared solemnly at the site before her. There was no spark of life, no glimmer of recognition just a simple nod of acknowledgement that he had spoken at all as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. It was then that Kakashi noticed she was holding something in her hands, cradling it in fact; the small black velvet box that contained the engagement ring Satoshi had offered her during her stint in Machenich.

Kakashi frowned at it more in curiosity than anything else. He couldn't recall seeing it again after the night she'd spend struggling over her grief in the hospital office. But it was the sound of her flat voice that caught his attention again.

"I prayed this day would never come. I knew it would... eventually. But I prayed to the God's that it wouldn't." She bowed her head towards the box in her hands, her fingers smoothing over the velvet as her brows furrowed and her breath hitched. She was trying so hard not to cry.

"I understand, Rin," he responded somewhat coolly. There wasn't much more he could say to that but he figured that she needed to get it off her chest regardless.

There was a moment of silence, not awkward, just quiet as the girl next to him took her shaky breathes seemingly in an attempt to gather her thoughts. It was within these moments that she lifted her head suddenly and turned towards him though without lifting her gaze to his.

"Will you wait for me? Two minutes?" she requested softly.

"Of course," he nodded only once.

Rin nodded in return, her expression still blank and somewhat volatile before she turned back and walked slowly towards the pedestal as Kakashi merely stood and watched her go.

The pedestal, a long table that housed the coffin on top, was filled with flowers. Bouquets and wreathes of all colours, it looked nice in a sad kind of way. Funerals were never nice to attend and yet Kakashi didn't know of any ninja that hadn't. Death was a part of life, a lesson learned from a young age, but that didn't mean that it was easy to accept under any circumstance. No one knew what lay ahead after their time in the world had passed and most feared it understandably so. But still his own heart weighed heavy at these ceremonies whether he knew the deceased or not, the atmosphere rubbed off on him as it would do anyone. But mostly his heart went out to Rin who had seemingly been the only person here who had really known this man at all which was saddening in its own right.

* * *

It had been as she had expected it; empty. Satoshi had no family, no clan of which he had been brought into the world, and most if not all his friends had long perished in the last major shinobi war. All he'd had was her and Yumi-chan and his work. The latter of which had eventually killed him.

She strolled over to the pedestal and stopped mere inches away from it and took one of the many roses offered to mourners from the metal vase to her right. Twirling it in her fingers, the ring encased in its little box in her other hand by her side she mulled over what she should say, if anything. She hadn't prepared a eulogy, hadn't seen much of a point seeing as no one here knew him well enough to appreciate it other than herself.

Eventually she lifted her head towards the heavens feeling the faint mist of rainfall on her face before focusing again on the resting place of her beloved Satoshi-san.

"Ne, Satoshi-san. Fitting weather don't you think?" she uttered punctuating her statement with a chuckle as she reached out and placed the rose in her hand on top if the ebony coffin. "You always told me you liked the rain though. Perhaps the God's know this now."

She bowed her head once more, her eyes burning as she chewed on her lips in a desperate bid not to shed tears, but she was failing as the sight of the little box in her hands began to blur out of focus. "At least you're not suffering anymore, that has to be something good, right?" she laughed again, her lips trembling as the tears began to fall lifting her hands clasped around the box before carefully placing it next to her chosen rose.

"I'm so sorry..." she started, her voice little more than breath while bracing herself against the coffin with both hands. "... I wanted to be her, you know... I wanted to..." She shook her head swallowing the sob that was about to erupt from her throat. "... I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be..."

That was it, it was over. The nightmare, the dread. All of it had dissipated with the flow of those last words that passed her lips. All that was left now was to get through the mourning process and find the strength she needed to simply turn around and walk away.


End file.
